Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Ever have those times in your life where you just feel like you can't catch a break? Yeah. Things are a mess. My dh is working out of town. My dad just died and I miss him so much. I got a ticket which turned out to cost me $305 (California stop at a stop sign). My boy was riding his bike. No hands. :glare: After he'd been told no more stunts after his brother crashed over the weekend.:glare: I yelled at him when he came in saying he crashed. :blink: I told him to grab the peroxide and I'd be out in a minute. He was strill crying a few minutes later. Of course, I was in the bathroom. Why do bad things have to happen when I'm in the bathroom! Anyway, the handlebars twisted he landed on both hands. And broke both radiuses (radii?). Both of them. He's in temporary casts with his elbows at right angles. The doctor did submit an expidited order for the ortho. But, he's 12. And I have help in the bathroom (both of us were mortified) and he can't feed himself or brush his teeth. It's like having a 2 year old in a nearly-man body. :crying: I'm going to get through it because I have no choice at all. But, I just want to crawl into bed and come out in 2013. We are so far behind in school. And now we're going to be even further behind. I still have to work in the afternoons. I'm resentful and tired. I do have a doctor appt. for me on Thursday to talk about stuff. I haven't been in 7 years and I'm scared. It's the OCD in me finding something to obsess about. If any of you have helpful tips about showering and bathroom stuff, eating etc. when you have two arms in a cast, I'm all ears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I am sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug:Kalah:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I've got nothing... just lots and lots and lots of hugs. Bless you - by the end of this ordeal, you'll be some type of new saint, I'm sure. I don't think anyone would begrudge you a stiff drink tonight. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Wow!!! You both need some serious hugs!!! I'm so sorry life is so rough right now. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 No tips, but lots of hugs. I'm sorry! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabeline Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh wow, so sorry.:grouphug::grouphug: And a hug :grouphug: for your boy too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: For school, can you do a bunch of educational videos for a time? Our library has some of the teaching company great courses videos.... Audio books if he can't turn pages. Take some time and just focus on literature? I don't know if waterproof casts are a possibility... Lots of smoothies for eating? So sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 Thanks, everyone. I really do need the virtual hugs. I'm so numb right now. But I have that feeling that if one. more. thing. goes wrong, I will totally go crazy. Not funny haha crazy. But, macadamia ranch crazy. At least I'd get a vacation, right? ...she says only half joking.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 My older ds suggested a bottle for urinating like you would use in the hospital. If it has a wide mouth maybe he can do it himself and you could dump it? No suggestions for #2, sorry. Hopefully that ortho will come through tomorrow and they will have some ideas or suggestions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: I'm really sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh my word :grouphug: Poor guy and you. I have no suggestions on how to deal other than lots of audio books, scribing for him for school, videos etc. How long do the dr's think he will need the casts? I know my ds was mortified when I had to help him with bathing, dressing and bathroom after his leg broke (because cast was up to groin), and he was much younger. I could not imagine having to tend to my nearly grown son that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: For school, can you do a bunch of educational videos for a time? Our library has some of the teaching company great courses videos.... Audio books if he can't turn pages. Take some time and just focus on literature? I don't know if waterproof casts are a possibility... Lots of smoothies for eating? So sorry! Good ideas. I have netflix. We're covering ancients which have lots of documentaries available. I've never made smoothies. Anyone willing to give a Smoothie Making 101 class? I do have a blender and a food processor. Frozen fruit right? Yogurt? Milk? What about protein? I've been trying to figure out a plan for the last hour because I'm a planner. I'm shelving Spanish (because I really don't like it anyway), science he can read online and I'll write down his work. Shelve vocab, logic and writing. It would just be so much easier if I had more time and didn't have to work. Again with that resentful thing..... Thank you for the ideas! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Wow. I am very sorry you are dealing with all of this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh my heavens honey that's just awful.:grouphug: If you lived nearby, I'd bring wine, chocolate and a bunch of hugs.:grouphug: I'd make the 9 year old brother help in the bathroom. It's gotta be less horrifying than mom doing it, right? It's a bonding experience, right? I recommend lots of TV and audio books or read alouds. It sounds like high time for a 6 week vacationfrom anything you can get one from. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Ever have those times in your life where you just feel like you can't catch a break?Yeah. Things are a mess. My dh is working out of town. My dad just died and I miss him so much. I got a ticket which turned out to cost me $305 (California stop at a stop sign). My boy was riding his bike. No hands. :glare: After he'd been told no more stunts after his brother crashed over the weekend.:glare: I yelled at him when he came in saying he crashed. :blink: I told him to grab the peroxide and I'd be out in a minute. He was strill crying a few minutes later. Of course, I was in the bathroom. Why do bad things have to happen when I'm in the bathroom! Anyway, the handlebars twisted he landed on both hands. And broke both radiuses (radii?). Both of them. He's in temporary casts with his elbows at right angles. The doctor did submit an expidited order for the ortho. But, he's 12. And I have help in the bathroom (both of us were mortified) and he can't feed himself or brush his teeth. It's like having a 2 year old in a nearly-man body. :crying: I'm going to get through it because I have no choice at all. But, I just want to crawl into bed and come out in 2013. We are so far behind in school. And now we're going to be even further behind. I still have to work in the afternoons. I'm resentful and tired. I do have a doctor appt. for me on Thursday to talk about stuff. I haven't been in 7 years and I'm scared. It's the OCD in me finding something to obsess about. If any of you have helpful tips about showering and bathroom stuff, eating etc. when you have two arms in a cast, I'm all ears. OH NO!!!! :grouphug: That just makes my momma-heart cry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msjones Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 My goodness. I'm so sorry. My boy is a daredevil on his bike and I could just see him come home the same way. Here is a link to an excellent product: http://www.xerosox.com/ These are waterproof cast covers that truly work. My son was able to swim in the ocean with one of these on his cast. The cast stayed completely dry for a week of vacation swimming and all of his baths while he had the cast on. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this. At least the cast covers may allow him to bathe somewhat independently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 So sorry! Call your doctor's office and ask about how he can do self-care. There might be gadgets, etc. or things other people have found. He can pee in the shower and it will go down the drain. He has a brother, right? Can the brother help instead of you? Seems like that would be less embarrassing. It would be for my boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 My goodness. I'm so sorry. My boy is a daredevil on his bike and I could just see him come home the same way. Here is a link to an excellent product: http://www.xerosox.com/ These are waterproof cast covers that truly work. My son was able to swim in the ocean with one of these on his cast. The cast stayed completely dry for a week of vacation swimming and all of his baths while he had the cast on. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this. At least the cast covers may allow him to bathe somewhat independently. Great product! I'll order them as soon as he gets the permanents on. He's a big kid so he can maybe wear his dads soccer shorts? If not I have no problem with him living in pajama bottoms. Thank goodness it's still warm here. Flip flops! Shirts are a big problem. He'll have to wear his dad's button downs for now. He does already sit to pee, but it's too painful for him to pull down his pants. I turned my head and helped. He said he'd rather have me than his brother. :( Maybe he'll be okay with Dad when he gets home hopefully tomorrow. I just can't believe they are both broken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh no. :grouphug: (Well, he'll never do that again.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I'm so sorry. Dd broke her arm this summer and it was uncomfortable enough for her to have me helping the first few weeks. Maybe they will put him in short casts soon. Once dd got the long cast off she was able to function pretty normally. I think she had the long cast on for 4 weeks, but she had both bones broken right above her wrist. I hope you get some good ideas from the ortho tomorrow. Ask about waterproof casts. That was a huge help for showering. You can wash hair in the sink and too much soap is overrated. A good rinse of the body does just fine most days. :grouphug: You will survive! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh no. :grouphug: (Well, he'll never do that again.) He best not if he knows what's good for him. :glare: The thing is I knew they were both broken. I could tell. I didn't even wait for my nurse mom to look for me. I just went straight to Quick care. I just kept looking at him and going, "Both, Jake? Really, both of them?!" He kept saying, "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry." Ugh. These boys. And *he's* my cautious one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittleWonders Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: If he has any pjs with a front flap, it may be easier for him to maneuver going #1 into a large receptacle like a bucket set on a stool or on a toilet. I wouldn't worry too much about splashes, just clean the walls with disinfectant periodically. If you have an extra bathroom, maybe he can just pee into the shower for a few weeks (set the bucket into the shower for him to pee 'at' LOL or just down the drain). At least it would be easy to clean up! If you don't have a urinal, even a plastic juice pitcher might work for something he can handle himself. I would start shopping for some elastic waist, mesh fabric, warm up pants. It seems like they would be the easiest to pull up and down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 I would start shopping for some elastic waist, mesh fabric, warm up pants. It seems like they would be the easiest to pull up and down. I'm checking out our clothing situation tomorrow. We're still in shorts here for at least another month. He needed sweats anyway. I know what you're talking about and I agree. I have a feeling he just won't be going out so much. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incognito Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: Wow. You poor woman! So many levels of exhausting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: One day at a time. That's it. Get through THAT minute, that hour, that day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: One day at a time. That's it. Get through THAT minute, that hour, that day. Thank you. I'll get through. I always do. I'm just so tired of just getting by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Let him shower with boxers or swim trunks on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh, lovey. I'm so sorry. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: two for you, and two for him. Thinking of you tonight. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I am so sorry to hear about your son's awful accident. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: So sorry. You must be exhausted from everything. Be kind to yourself and try to get plenty of rest during this time. It really is ok to go easy in school for a season. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: My 10 year old DD didn't even appreciate me having to help her in the shower when she had one broken arm this summer and she could actually wash her own butt. I can't imagine the level of awkwardness if she were a boy. I hope your DH gets home soon so he can be on bathroom and shower duty - he's going to need help with shampooing, etc., even with cast covers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Wow. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I want 2012 to be over for you. I agree with Georgiana that it is *so* OK to take it easy on school, and otherwise, during this time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 Thank you for the validation. I tend to be a taskmaster. I am going to continue school with my 9yo. My 12yo will just be on videos and movies for the rest of the week at least. I hate taking time off. I took a week and a half for my dad's funeral. I really like my schedule and staying on it. I guess this will be a good lesson on flexibility for me. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somo_chickenlady Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 What about sitting down to pee? But he'd still need help getting his pants up and down... Sweat pants or elastic waist pants would also help. Straws in drinks. Siblings can help him eat. Baby wipes can help with hygiene. Forget school. Get lots of videos and recorded books from the library. :grouphug: to you. This too shall pass. I was going to suggest the bolded. He can sit down to pee, and with a little shifting of his body he can still "aim" with his hand. Elastic pants will help him with getting them on and off on his own. You can use baby wipes, or they sell dry disposable cloths that have soap in them so when you get them wet they turn into a washcloth. They use those for sponge baths in hospitals. If you get a glove for him (maybe an XL dish washing glove?) he can wash his private parts and whatever else he can reach, and then put shorts on and you can do the rest? That has to be rough...I couldn't imagine having to do that for my son. I wish you luck and patience in the coming weeks! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 I was going to suggest the bolded. He can sit down to pee, and with a little shifting of his body he can still "aim" with his hand. Elastic pants will help him with getting them on and off on his own. You can use baby wipes, or they sell dry disposable cloths that have soap in them so when you get them wet they turn into a washcloth. They use those for sponge baths in hospitals. If you get a glove for him (maybe an XL dish washing glove?) he can wash his private parts and whatever else he can reach, and then put shorts on and you can do the rest? That has to be rough...I couldn't imagine having to do that for my son. I wish you luck and patience in the coming weeks! :grouphug: Thank you! And as a side note, The Book Thief is my all-time favorite book...and I have a degree in English Lit! I hope you like it as much as I did! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommaOfalotta Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 So sorry :grouphug: hoping things get better for you both asap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I don't know if this will help, but try to re-frame the situation, especially with the personal care stuff. Be matter of fact, and try to get yourself less embarrassed. The more ok you are with things, the less it will bother him. Find the positives, try to turn the care fun. Silly things like flying airplane with a few of his spoonfuls. Talk to him about his history, what he was like as a baby, what he liked etc.... Make a joke about you guess he is too old for a raspberry blown on his tummy like you used to do when you changed his diapers. Just light hearted and fun. Also, go for potty humor, 12 year old boys LOVE that. You can also make comments on some things, like "one day you are going to have to do this for me." when feeding. Watch movies, audio books and discussions. I had to step into a different role with my mom for awhile. It was embarrassing at first, and she really hated it, but now years later she says how it is nice to know she can count on me like that, and that she feels closer to me because of it. I found that faking being okay with it all made her more relaxed, and then I wasn't faking anymore. Everytime she got embarrassed or annoyed I just stated that there was no need. We all need help sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Last summer, right after school let out, our young teen son broke both wrists. One wrist was put in a cast and the other a removable splint type thing, whatever it was called escapes me at the moment. Ruined his whole summer. You are talking about stuff that I hadn't even thought of! He is so private that I hadn't even thought of some of this stuff. He only asked for help (advice) when it came to the shower. You have my sympathy! I was only surprised that his friends didn't also suffer broken bones after the really stupid things they were doing that evening, having to do with a trampoline and a rope hanging from a tree, something about swinging and then letting go once they clear the trampoline. :001_huh::glare: Looking back, we can laugh about it. :grouphug: Hang in there and just keep giving him ibuprofen, that's what worked best for our guy.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 My daughter broke her dominate hand once upon a time. She was generally okay save for using the computer. Drove her crazy to use the right hand mouse with her right hand. Food - Smoothies for many meals sounds good. Clothing - Yeap, easy on and off will be needed as people have suggested Shelter - Will his room need some moving around to make it accessible for him? Health - Mmmm, lots of time in doctors offices. At least your purse will be tidy and well organized! School - Field trips, walks, videos, audio books, verbal logic and math problems. Religion - Not sure if this is something that you have in your life. If you do, a special blessing or prayer for your son might help him Hobby - Does he have one other than scaring his mother half to death? We do need some emergency WTM Deployment Unit to visit mothers with chocolate, Mojitos, and some forced nap-time. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TGHEALTHYMOM Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: Sorry for the loss of your father. It probably makes this seem ironic as heck. And you still need time to grieve. I lost my father to cancer after a long battle and it is still difficult. I cringe at the thought of what you are going through and hope you can get some perspective. I will be praying for you and your family. All that came to mind on smoothies is protein drinks. like chocolate or vanilla whey protein with water or milk and banana if he likes that and lots of straws. Also, Vegetable juice to drink for veggies. Of course I have no idea, but I think feeding him meals will just take you back to those toddler years. And remember this too shall pass. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 We do need some emergency WTM Deployment Unit to visit mothers with chocolate, Mojitos, and some forced nap-time. :grouphug: AMEN! OP - Can you just let showering be a "rinse and done" kind of affair, or maybe he can wear a bathing suit? Do you have a flexible shower head - the kind with a hose - that he can sort of aim himself to wash? :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weddell Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 This may be a totally bizarre suggestion, but have you thought about a bidet for the toilet. You can buy ones that attach to your current toilet and have buttons or pedals that work for people with limited mobility. That might allow him to do self-cleaning in the bathroom. I don't know the prices so it might not be worth it. Here is an article that show detached ones, but also some pictures of attached bidets. http://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Bidet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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