Georgiana Daniels Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 And what do your sons and daughers-in-law call you (if you have any?) Upon realizing my new son-in-law had no interest in calling us mom and dad, my big fat feelings were hurt. After all, the instant my hubby and I said "I do" he started calling my parents mom and dad, and they referred to him as their son. No "in-law" in the equation! Then I remembered....oh yeah, I call my MIL and FIL by their first names. LOL!!! I realized how ridiculous it was to worry over whether or not our new son-in-law ever calls us mom and dad. So now just curious, what do you call the in-laws, and what do the in-laws call you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call my in laws by their first names. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 They wanted me to call them mom and dad but I just couldn't; I already had one mom and dad. I called them *Mom (last name)* and *Dad (last name)* until we had kids. Boy, did that make it easy! After that, I just began calling them Nana and Pop. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call my ILs "Mom and Pop", as my dh does. After two years of pretending that they didn't know my name (or perhaps they had just blocked it out!), they started to call me by my name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call them by their first names, as does my DH call my parents by their first names. When they speak to me obviously they use my first name. When I speak about them to others who would not recognize the name I call my MIL my mom-in-law and my FIL my father-in-law; I use "mom-in-law" to show it's a friendlier relationship than the typical "mother-in-law" relationship. I assume they refer to me as their daughter-in-law, but I'm not sure. It really doesn't bother me either way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I adore my in-laws. They are like parents to me. I call them by their first names. They have asked me to call them mum/dad but I can't do it, I have a strained relationship with both my mum and dad so it's tainted and weird to call someone else that... they're ok with it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 mamusia and tatus...the s has an accent over it and sounds like "sh" Polish for like mommy/daddy instead of mother/father Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call my in laws by their first names. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call them by their first name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call my in laws by their first names. This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call my in laws by their first names. My husband also calls my mom by her first name. My kids aren't married yet. I'll be fine with them calling me by whatever they're comfortable with, I think, when the time comes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call them by their first names. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call my ILs "Mom and Pop", as my dh does. After two years of pretending that they didn't know my name (or perhaps they had just blocked it out!), they started to call me by my name. Wow! Sounds like your relationship improved since then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 First names. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Mom and Dad. They invited me to do so when my husband and I got engaged (it was Mrs. and Mr. until then), and I've always been very happy with it. Part of that, though, is that I don't have family of my own. My SIL also calls them Mom and Dad, but she's very close to her family of origin and has a harder time with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DusksAngel Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 By their own insistence: My MIL is Mom (unless my mom is around) and my FIL is name. My dh calls my mom "Mom" or her first name depending on the circumstances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamakim Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call my MIL "Mother" to her face and "Mother LastName" to others. My own mother has never wanted to be called Mother, so that works. Glad you posted this question, though. My eldest son is getting married and my soon-to-be-first-DIL and I have been discussing this. I'm just really not a first-name kind of person, so I've been struggling with this. She has no preference. I've always disliked the baggage with my first name, so I've been thinking about asking her to call me "Mama Jo" (Jo being my middle name and Mama being what all my own children call me). Does that seem just really weird? Sigh. I want to be a good MIL and not drive her insane, y'know? Although since we live half a country apart, this should be easier :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call mine Mom and Dad. My sister-in-law and her husband each call their inlaws Mil and Fil (as in "hey, Fil, do you need help carrying those chairs?"). Imagine my surprise when I looked around the room wondering who the heck was named "Phil." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 (edited) Well, one of those popular sitcoms did a show that addressed this, but I don't remember which one (maybe Everybody Loves Raymond?). It was hilarious b/c I could identify completely. I don't call them anything. Yup, really. I could never call them mom or dad, and I've never felt enough friendship to call them by their first names, and it felt like i was taking liberties, especially since they never told me what to call them. So for years I've avoided the issue. You really have to be creative, but it can be done! Now I often call them grandma or grandpa if the kids are around. It is ridiculous that after 18 years I still don't know what to call them, but that's the way it is. Though there are times (like MIL's summer power trip) when I have the perfect names for them.:tongue_smilie: I plan to have a conversation with my future DI & SIL to agree on what they should call Dh and me. Edited October 8, 2012 by shanvan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Glad you posted this question, though. My eldest son is getting married and my soon-to-be-first-DIL and I have been discussing this. I'm just really not a first-name kind of person, so I've been struggling with this. She has no preference. I've always disliked the baggage with my first name, so I've been thinking about asking her to call me "Mama Jo" (Jo being my middle name and Mama being what all my own children call me). Does that seem just really weird? Sigh. I want to be a good MIL and not drive her insane, y'know? Although since we live half a country apart, this should be easier :D I think Mama Jo is lovely. I don't think I'll be too fussy about what any future DIL calls me (within reason ;)). I have, however, already informed my son, who isn't even close to marrying age, that I am putting dibs on the title of "Grandma." I just don't care for any other names for grandmothers, so I will answer to Grandma, my first name, or a combination thereof. That's it. If the other grandmother also wants Grandma, we can share. But it is my line in the sand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 If not speaking to the kids I just use their first names, when talking about them with my kids we use Grandma and Grandpa. I just can't seem to bring myself to call them mom and dad, since they don't seem to care all that much for me. Now my Gma in law I have no problem calling her Grandma, but she and I hit it off from day 1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalypso Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 First names. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 first name, which ticks MIL off to no end. She demanded to be called Mom. Nope, sorry, couldn't do it. She signs things addressed to me as "Mom Firstname" and will refer to herself that way, but it's been almost 10 yrs and she's still, and always will be Firstname to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 This is SOOOOOO funny!! I hated it when my husband started calling MY parents by "Mom and Dad". I felt it was like he was my brother, and in my culture we don't marry relatives :) I call his mom "Mama K" which is what my sister in law (her dil) calls her. My husband doesn't like that. Oh well.. She didn't raise me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Well, one of those popular sitcoms did a show that addressed this, but I don't remember which one (maybe Everybody Love Raymond?). It was hilarious b/c I could identify completely. I don't call them anything. Yup, really. I could never call them mom or dad, and I've never felt enough friendship to call them by their first names, and it felt like i was taking liberties, especially since they never told me what to call them. So for years I've avoided the issue. You really have to be creative, but it can be done! Now I often call them grandma or grandpa if the kids are around. It is ridiculous that after 18 years I still don't know what to call them, but that's the way it is. Though there are times (like MIL's summer power trip) when I have the perfect names for them.:tongue_smilie: I plan to have a conversation with my future DI & SIL to agree on what they should call Dh and me. At least I'm not the only one :lol:! "Hey you" works just fine ;). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I address them by their first names unless I am referring to them in conversation with my children in which case I call them Gram and Pap to save the kids from being confused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Before kids I called them by their first names. After kids I call them what the kids call them, even my own parents. Poppa, KatKat and a grandma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 At least I'm not the only one :lol:! "Hey you" works just fine ;). Glad to see I'm not alone. We should start a club. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I called mil by her first name and while fil expected to be called by his shortened first name, that always felt too informal. Sometimes I called him "father in law," usually I avoided calling him anything. It didn't matter. We had an unspoken agreement not to be friends anyway. :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I *REFUSE* to call my in-laws "Mom" and "Dad". I already have a Mom and a Dad, thankyouverymuch. My MIL insists on being called "Mum [firstname]" but my FIL I just call by his first name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I started out with "Mom and Dad" but I've switched to their first names gradually. If they've noticed, they haven't said anything. I was never comfortable calling them that in the first place. Mostly I just try to avoid using names when I address them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call my in-laws "Mom" and "Dad." My parents aren't really in the equation, so no help there. Dh calls my Granny, "Granny," and, hmmm, I don't think he calls my other grandparents anything. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I only have a mil, and I call her by her name or refer to her as grandma. She is barely a mother to dh to be really honest. I can't imagine calling her mom. Dh calls my dm mom, because she has been good to him. He calls my dad by his first name, which I think is just a guy thing. I would love to have sils and dils who call us mom and dad, but I want it to be as a reflection of a close relationship and not just expected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 To their face or to myself. :tongue_smilie: I call them by their first names. They wanted me to use mom & dad but since they treated me like dirt during our engagement that wasn't gonna happen. Now I will sometimes call them what the kids do. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 And what do your sons and daughers-in-law call you (if you have any?) Upon realizing my new son-in-law had no interest in calling us mom and dad, my big fat feelings were hurt. After all, the instant my hubby and I said "I do" he started calling my parents mom and dad, and they referred to him as their son. No "in-law" in the equation! Then I remembered....oh yeah, I call my MIL and FIL by their first names. LOL!!! I realized how ridiculous it was to worry over whether or not our new son-in-law ever calls us mom and dad. So now just curious, what do you call the in-laws, and what do the in-laws call you? I can't say in polite company. :tongue_smilie: I have no idea what they call me, but I'm pretty sure it's just as...wonderful as my names for them. Years ago, when relationships were less strained, I called mil "Lolo" which is what my oldest DS called her. (Her name is Lois and at just short of 2 years old could only say "Lolo".) DH's dad and stepmom? "Dad" and "Tonya". Exactly what DH called them. DH calls my parents by their first names. My sister's husbands and my brother's wives have all called my parents by their first names. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 (edited) Usually I call my FIL Pain in the A$$! LOL! But to their faces I called they by their first names. From the day I met them I called them by their first names, never Mr. and Mrs. MIL tried to convince me to call them Mom and Dad after we got engaged, but I have always felt that was sort of creepy and was never going to happen. My son calls him either Grandpa or Grandpa Lastname. I always refer to him to my son as Grandpa Lastname. Mainly because "Grandpa" was my Grandpa and I didn't want to confuse the issue. The weird thing now is MIL died a couple of years ago. FIL is dating/sort of living with my best friend's mother. I have known my bf's mother since I was 13, (30 years!) and practically lived at her house. I have always called her Mrs. T. (Just the letter T). I got married in her backyard 15 years ago. When talking about them as a couple I call them Mrs. T and Wayne. My son has always thought of her as another grandma, but he refers to them as Grandpa Lastname and Mrs. T. Oh and Mrs. T calls me by my first name and introduces me as "her other daughter, G's best friend." FIL introduces me as his DIL and calls me by my first name. My husband calls my mom and stepfather by their first names. But then so do I. Edited October 8, 2012 by Renthead Mommy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call them by their first names or "Nana and Papa." Dh calls my parents (well Dad and stepmom have passed away) by their first names as well. I would never be comfortable calling my in-laws "mom and dad." One, I already have a mom and dad ;) and, second, my mil doesn't like me.:lol: Oh, and my in-laws call me by my first name. When mil introduces me, she refers to me as her son's wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call them by their first names. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I called my previous in-laws by their first names, Ida and Nino. I still adore Nino. I call my current in-law "Roy." I never called my dh's mom anything. I only met her once before she died, and she didn't speak English so I've always just referred to her as "your mother" in conversation. It isn't common anywhere in my family to call in-laws "mom" and "dad." I think my mother called my dad's parent's "Mr. and Mrs. Lastname" until they day they died. It was just proper manners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call my In-Laws by their first names. I have a Mom and Dad so I don't want to call them that. My MIL tried to get me to call her Mom for a while before we were even married though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galatea Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I got married young (19) and since I'd called 4 different women mom already, I went ahead and starting calling my in-laws Mom and Dad, since our relationship started out well. Sadly, both my and my husband's relationships with them have deteriorated over the years and I now wish I could backtrack to first names without offending. I just try to avoid it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call my MIL "Mother" to her face and "Mother LastName" to others. My own mother has never wanted to be called Mother, so that works. Glad you posted this question, though. My eldest son is getting married and my soon-to-be-first-DIL and I have been discussing this. I'm just really not a first-name kind of person, so I've been struggling with this. She has no preference. I've always disliked the baggage with my first name, so I've been thinking about asking her to call me "Mama Jo" (Jo being my middle name and Mama being what all my own children call me). Does that seem just really weird? Sigh. I want to be a good MIL and not drive her insane, y'know? Although since we live half a country apart, this should be easier :D No, not weird at all! I actually have baggage with my first name too, which may have been why I was weirded out by son in law not wanting to call me mom. Mama Jo sounds nice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call my MIL by her first name or her family nickname of "granny". FIL was firmly first name and frankly, he was so unfriendly to me on numerous occasions that referred to him as Mr. _____. Dh called my parents by their first names for a few years. When his dad died, he became very close with my dad and now calls him dad which meant that he eventually converted to "mom" for my mom. Since we are often together, my parents and his mom, he then says mom and "granny" and they know what he means. Granny is serious term of affection on his side of the family so his mother doesn't mind at all. DD's fiance calls us by our first names. However, since any children they have are likely to have many grandparents around when they are little, I'm opting for something different than grandma since there will be so many grandmas/great-grandmas. I'm going for Marmee (little women) and I now refer to myself as Marmee in the presence of dear future son-in-law. I'm hoping it catches! :D Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 first name, which ticks MIL off to no end. She demanded to be called Mom. Nope, sorry, couldn't do it. She signs things addressed to me as "Mom Firstname" and will refer to herself that way, but it's been almost 10 yrs and she's still, and always will be Firstname to me. LOL, I think you have a special circumstance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 Some of your responses are cracking me up! Well, I am in good company. I like also seeing that my son-in-law's reaction to me isn't necessarily because he doesn't feel like part of the family or because we're only 15 year apart :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EppieJ Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 After 16 yrs of marriage...I still don't know what to call them :blink: Am I silly or what! Love my in-laws, but I've never been super comfortable calling them "mom" and "dad". On the other hand, calling them by their first names doesn't feel quite right either. I do end up calling them "mom" and "dad" most often tho, due to the kids in their lives (they adopted). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EppieJ Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Glad to see I'm not alone. We should start a club. :lol: I'll join! :D Married 16 years and I still haven't figured it out! My in-laws, btw, are okay with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Dh and I each have two sets of parents. We both call the inlaws by their first names. One of my MILs introduces me as her daughter, and signs things to me from Mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I call them by their first names, and dh called my mom by her first name. DIL uses our names, and dss calls her parents by their names. I know it's not uncommon but I don't know anyone who calls their IL's mom and dad (or some variation). I also didn't know of any when I was growing up. All the adults in my life called their IL's by first names. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 The women in my family are called whatever their grandchildren call them. My mother is Gigi. This is what my children call her. Likewise, my dh and I also call her Gigi. My grandmother is Mimi. Everyone calls her Mimi. I mean everyone. No one uses her first name. It is how we introduce her. One of my cousins named her dd Mimi after our grandmother. I have always assumed that my children's spouses would call me by my first name until there were dgc and then everyone would switch over to whatever the grandchildren used. The men in my family have usually gone by their first names. Their kids called them Dad and the grandchildren have used a variety of grandfather names. So, I called my grandfather Paw-paw, but my father called him Dad. Everyone else called him by his first name including his children's spouses. Antway, I call my MIL Aziz. I call my FIL Baba Hajji. It is what my ds calls them. It never occurred to me that it might hurt their feelings. Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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