Jean in Newcastle Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 what would you think? This person will say things like "My lover, Bob. . . " or "I'm going out tonight with my lover." She is not saying it in a joking way and there is no doubt that she's really referring to her husband. I realize that my husband is my lover, but it throws me off somehow when she does this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 My gut response is purely "TMI". Obviously, I get tEa in marriage and so on, and rejoice in it, but I still don't wanna know about anyone else's, ya know? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunty Social Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 (edited) I'm always rattling on about respecting people's preferences when it comes to referring to their names, partners, and relationships. But "lover" really tests me on that, because I simply can't help thinking, "Eeeww." I just have to hope I could conceal the ICK response. Edited September 26, 2012 by Belacqua Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Is she part of Marriage Encounter? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 I would probably inadvertently blurt out "Your lover?" I have never had anyone I know refer to their husband as lover. It would throw me for a loop that's for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 I'd be highly likely to joke in response, "Your lover, bob? As in not your lover some other guy???;):tongue_smilie:" Sounds weird. Like talking in third person about yourself. Sure we all know who you mean, but it's still weird and eventually a friend is gonna say something. They'll say it friendly like, but yeah, there is way too much potential for laughs to not say something between friends.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fhjmom Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Even though you say she is obviously referring to her husband, I would probably say (or at least want to say) something like, "Your lover?!? How does bob feel about that?" But I am feeling a bit snarky today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 Is she part of Marriage Encounter? You, know, that's a possibility. Her dh (aka her lover) is a counselor. Is this a hallmark of Marriage Encounter? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Ew. Sounds like something you'd hear in a bad 70's movie about swingers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 :ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 If someone said it once, I'd overlook it. Frequently though? Ew. Just ew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Ew. Sounds like something you'd hear in a bad 70's movie about swingers. Yeah, if I ever refer to my husband as "lover", it's followed by a Nigel Thornberry laugh. I would think it odd. Of course, one of the main draws for us to get married was because I was feeling weird about saying "boyfriend" when we'd lived together for a few years, and the alternatives all sounded so... Lingo-y. (getting married didn't change our relationship or daily lives) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 :ack2: There is something really oogy about the word 'lover.' Way TMI, ew ew ew. Nobody wants to hear that much about your personal life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 There was a woman in our local homeschool group who would refer to her kids as Lover, in a nickname sense. As in, "It's almost time to go, Lover." That got a lot of side-eyes from the other moms, I can tell you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Yeah, I agree with everyone else. The images tht the word evokes in one's mind just shouldn't happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 what would you think? This person will say things like "My lover, Bob. . . " or "I'm going out tonight with my lover." She is not saying it in a joking way and there is no doubt that she's really referring to her husband. I realize that my husband is my lover, but it throws me off somehow when she does this. I'd laugh. And probably say something about my lover too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Could easily be something she got into the habit of during the romantic stage and never stopped, too. Also, what comes to my mind for 'lover' is like serenades and flowers and stuff :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Reminds of a Will Farrell sketch. That's kinda weird. I do have to say though, that my wedding vows contained, "Name, my best friend and my lover, I come to you will all love, honor and sincerity wishing only to become one with you...." I was very nervous about using that (from a Wiccan handfast) because I had lots of Christians coming to the wedding. I got so many compliments! Oh, and no, I don't call my dh, Lover, um, ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 One of the guys we ministered with a decade ago (he was in his mid 40s at the time), referred to his wife this way, and used it as a pet name for her. DH always chuckled silently and thought "so 70s". I just thought it was weird. Of course, I understand that "lover" and "making love" are terms that have changed quite a bit over the years. When I was a kid, I only knew "making love" to mean "having s3x." So you can imagine how horrified I was by the song "Under the Boardwalk." :D I thought people were Pretty Darn Kinky. "Making love" used to mean everything from wooing to flirting to going on an outing with another interested party. Still, "lover" is weird to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarlaB Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 My IL's frequently used to refer to each other as 'lover' :blink::eek::ack2::scared:. For years. It was nauseating...but they still fancy themselves hippies and look for ways to draw attention to their uniqueness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 I'll third the :ack2: It sounds like she's trying to show off in some way. I have never heard anyone refer to their dh that way in conversation. For that matter, I have never heard anyone I know refer to their significant other as "lover" when they talked about the men or women in their lives. It seems so tacky. It seems like a desperate cry for attention to me. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 I prefer the term, "Stud Muffin" or "Love Machine" *runs like heck* :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 I knew a lady who did that exact thing , I always found it very icky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 One of the guys we ministered with a decade ago (he was in his mid 40s at the time), referred to his wife this way, and used it as a pet name for her. DH always chuckled silently and thought "so 70s". I just thought it was weird. Of course, I understand that "lover" and "making love" are terms that have changed quite a bit over the years. When I was a kid, I only knew "making love" to mean "having s3x." So you can imagine how horrified I was by the song "Under the Boardwalk." :D I thought people were Pretty Darn Kinky. "Making love" used to mean everything from wooing to flirting to going on an outing with another interested party. Still, "lover" is weird to me. If you read ANY book or watch any movie from the 30's on back, you will find the term "lover" or "making love" to be used in a different manner than today's connotation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Ew. Sounds like something you'd hear in a bad 70's movie about swingers. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 It sound immature to me - someone trying to hold onto being young and in the early stages of a relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Is she part of Marriage Encounter? :iagree: My parents were involved in ME and would speak that way to each other, though not when talking to other people. I never took it to have the "ewwww" meaning, but rather "a person who loves." It was annoying, but whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 If someone referred to their husband as their "lover" I think I would throw up. I also feel ill when people start using the word soul mate. That sounds a little cranky. Sorry, I had a root canal today. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 I think I would throw up. I also feel ill when people start using the word soul mate. That sounds a little cranky. Sorry, I had a root canal today. Kelly Yeah soul mate. How barfy :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 I prefer the term, "Stud Muffin" or "Love Machine" :D :D :D :D At least those are tasteful and timeless. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 I have a girlfriend that does that on FB once in a great while and it doesn't bother me. Said in jest and rarely I think it's funny. If it were her pet name for him and said it daily then, yeah, that's annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 I also feel ill when people start using the word soul mate. :iagree: It makes me want to tell them to get over themselves and act like a normal person. (And I didn't even have a root canal today, so I guess I'm just snotty all the time. :tongue_smilie:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 :iagree:(And I didn't even have a root canal today, so I guess I'm just snotty all the time. :tongue_smilie:) For once I get a free pass for my snotty attitude. I can say whatever I want and blame it on the root canal. Tomorrow I'm just back to having a snotty attitude for no reason other than having a snotty attitude :D Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 :D :D :D :D At least those are tasteful and timeless. :tongue_smilie: Hey, better than 'Sperminator'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 27, 2012 Author Share Posted September 27, 2012 One of the guys we ministered with a decade ago (he was in his mid 40s at the time), referred to his wife this way, and used it as a pet name for her. DH always chuckled silently and thought "so 70s". I just thought it was weird. Of course, I understand that "lover" and "making love" are terms that have changed quite a bit over the years. When I was a kid, I only knew "making love" to mean "having s3x." So you can imagine how horrified I was by the song "Under the Boardwalk." :D I thought people were Pretty Darn Kinky. "Making love" used to mean everything from wooing to flirting to going on an outing with another interested party. Still, "lover" is weird to me. My IL's frequently used to refer to each other as 'lover' :blink::eek::ack2::scared:. For years. It was nauseating...but they still fancy themselves hippies and look for ways to draw attention to their uniqueness. You know, this couple is in their sixties. Perhaps it is an age thing - in the sense that they would have probably married in the 70's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 (edited) Hey, better than 'Sperminator'. Ooooo, that one sounds very manly. Kelly Edited September 27, 2012 by kwiech Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 First thing I thought of was the SNL skit. Dont't they know "lover" connotes living in sin, not marriage? :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 :D :D :D :D At least those are tasteful and timeless. :tongue_smilie: Nuance matters! Funny how Red Hot Lover isn't as awful as just Lover. And I'm with the soulmate haters. My soul respectfully requests to be left alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 My first thought is that she watches too much SNL!:lol: :iagree::D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 I would fall over on the floor laughing. :smilielol5: Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 I refer to the man I live with as my husband, my partner, my man or my bloke pretty interchangeably. I don't refer to him as my lover, but I don't particularly care what words other people use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 I would think that she was weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 My first thought is that she watches too much SNL!:lol: :iagree: I don't think I could keep a straight face! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Ooooo, that one sounds very manly. Kelly yeah, but ppl choke when you say it. Trust me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 There was a woman in our local homeschool group who would refer to her kids as Lover, in a nickname sense. As in, "It's almost time to go, Lover." That got a lot of side-eyes from the other moms, I can tell you! Oops! I do that too...:tongue_smilie: :blushing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 :ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 I knew someone who always referred to he dh this way. She would also call him that on the phone, "Oh, hello, Lover..." Maybe it was just sort of a nickname to her and she wasn't thinking of the mental imagery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clear Creek Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 You know, this couple is in their sixties. Perhaps it is an age thing - in the sense that they would have probably married in the 70's. My parents were married in the early 70's and "lover" was their pet name for each other. They didn't use it outside of the house much, but I heard it enough growing up. :ack2: (I use the past tense because they are now divorced. Now I have to hear my dad call my step-mom "lover," which really makes me want to :ack2:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tranquility7 Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Oh no! I call my DH "Love" (when I am talking to him). Not lover. And I never *refer* to him as my lover! I agree that is :ack2:. But now I'm all paranoid about "Love"! Is it bad to call him "Love"? Or "My love"? It is my name for him (to his face). When I'm talking to others I always call him "my husband" or use his name. I never, never call him his name when I am talking to him. It feels so unnatural to me!!!! I just can't do it. He calls me Sweetheart, and I call him Love or My love. So give it to me straight... are we horrid?! I'm scared to ask, but I also don't want to be freaking anyone else out! (We use those names in the presence of others also.) :leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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