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If someone referred to their husband as their "lover"


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I'm always rattling on about respecting people's preferences when it comes to referring to their names, partners, and relationships. But "lover" really tests me on that, because I simply can't help thinking, "Eeeww." I just have to hope I could conceal the ICK response.

Edited by Belacqua
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I'd be highly likely to joke in response, "Your lover, bob? As in not your lover some other guy???;):tongue_smilie:"

 

Sounds weird. Like talking in third person about yourself. Sure we all know who you mean, but it's still weird and eventually a friend is gonna say something. They'll say it friendly like, but yeah, there is way too much potential for laughs to not say something between friends.:D

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Ew. Sounds like something you'd hear in a bad 70's movie about swingers.

 

Yeah, if I ever refer to my husband as "lover", it's followed by a Nigel Thornberry laugh.

 

I would think it odd. Of course, one of the main draws for us to get married was because I was feeling weird about saying "boyfriend" when we'd lived together for a few years, and the alternatives all sounded so... Lingo-y. (getting married didn't change our relationship or daily lives)

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what would you think? This person will say things like "My lover, Bob. . . " or "I'm going out tonight with my lover." She is not saying it in a joking way and there is no doubt that she's really referring to her husband. I realize that my husband is my lover, but it throws me off somehow when she does this.

 

I'd laugh.

 

And probably say something about my lover too.

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Reminds of a Will Farrell sketch. That's kinda weird.

I do have to say though, that my wedding vows contained, "Name, my best friend and my lover, I come to you will all love, honor and sincerity wishing only to become one with you...." I was very nervous about using that (from a Wiccan handfast) because I had lots of Christians coming to the wedding. I got so many compliments! Oh, and no, I don't call my dh, Lover, um, ever.

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One of the guys we ministered with a decade ago (he was in his mid 40s at the time), referred to his wife this way, and used it as a pet name for her.

 

DH always chuckled silently and thought "so 70s".

 

I just thought it was weird.

 

Of course, I understand that "lover" and "making love" are terms that have changed quite a bit over the years.

 

When I was a kid, I only knew "making love" to mean "having s3x." So you can imagine how horrified I was by the song "Under the Boardwalk." :D

 

I thought people were Pretty Darn Kinky.

 

"Making love" used to mean everything from wooing to flirting to going on an outing with another interested party.

 

Still, "lover" is weird to me.

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I'll third the :ack2:

 

It sounds like she's trying to show off in some way. I have never heard anyone refer to their dh that way in conversation. For that matter, I have never heard anyone I know refer to their significant other as "lover" when they talked about the men or women in their lives. It seems so tacky.

 

It seems like a desperate cry for attention to me. :D

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One of the guys we ministered with a decade ago (he was in his mid 40s at the time), referred to his wife this way, and used it as a pet name for her.

 

DH always chuckled silently and thought "so 70s".

 

I just thought it was weird.

 

Of course, I understand that "lover" and "making love" are terms that have changed quite a bit over the years.

 

When I was a kid, I only knew "making love" to mean "having s3x." So you can imagine how horrified I was by the song "Under the Boardwalk." :D

 

I thought people were Pretty Darn Kinky.

 

"Making love" used to mean everything from wooing to flirting to going on an outing with another interested party.

 

Still, "lover" is weird to me.

 

If you read ANY book or watch any movie from the 30's on back, you will find the term "lover" or "making love" to be used in a different manner than today's connotation.

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:iagree:

(And I didn't even have a root canal today, so I guess I'm just snotty all the time. :tongue_smilie:)

 

For once I get a free pass for my snotty attitude. I can say whatever I want and blame it on the root canal. Tomorrow I'm just back to having a snotty attitude for no reason other than having a snotty attitude :D

 

Kelly

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One of the guys we ministered with a decade ago (he was in his mid 40s at the time), referred to his wife this way, and used it as a pet name for her.

 

DH always chuckled silently and thought "so 70s".

 

I just thought it was weird.

 

Of course, I understand that "lover" and "making love" are terms that have changed quite a bit over the years.

 

When I was a kid, I only knew "making love" to mean "having s3x." So you can imagine how horrified I was by the song "Under the Boardwalk." :D

 

I thought people were Pretty Darn Kinky.

 

"Making love" used to mean everything from wooing to flirting to going on an outing with another interested party.

 

Still, "lover" is weird to me.

 

My IL's frequently used to refer to each other as 'lover' :blink::eek::ack2::scared:. For years. It was nauseating...but they still fancy themselves hippies and look for ways to draw attention to their uniqueness.

 

You know, this couple is in their sixties. Perhaps it is an age thing - in the sense that they would have probably married in the 70's.

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You know, this couple is in their sixties. Perhaps it is an age thing - in the sense that they would have probably married in the 70's.

My parents were married in the early 70's and "lover" was their pet name for each other. They didn't use it outside of the house much, but I heard it enough growing up. :ack2:

 

(I use the past tense because they are now divorced. Now I have to hear my dad call my step-mom "lover," which really makes me want to :ack2:)

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Oh no! I call my DH "Love" (when I am talking to him). Not lover. And I never *refer* to him as my lover! I agree that is :ack2:.

 

But now I'm all paranoid about "Love"! Is it bad to call him "Love"? Or "My love"? It is my name for him (to his face). When I'm talking to others I always call him "my husband" or use his name. I never, never call him his name when I am talking to him. It feels so unnatural to me!!!! I just can't do it. He calls me Sweetheart, and I call him Love or My love.

 

So give it to me straight... are we horrid?! I'm scared to ask, but I also don't want to be freaking anyone else out! (We use those names in the presence of others also.)

:leaving:

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