If someone referred to their husband as their "lover"

[Jean in Newcastle]

what would you think? This person will say things like "My lover, Bob. . . " or "I'm going out tonight with my lover." She is not saying it in a joking way and there is no doubt that she's really referring to her husband. I realize that my husband is my lover, but it throws me off somehow when she does this.

[Caitilin]

My gut response is purely "TMI". Obviously, I get tEa in marriage and so on, and rejoice in it, but I still don't wanna know about anyone else's, ya know? :D

[Aunty Social]

.

[Belacqua]

I'm always rattling on about respecting people's preferences when it comes to referring to their names, partners, and relationships. But "lover" really tests me on that, because I simply can't help thinking, "Eeeww." I just have to hope I could conceal the ICK response.

Edited September 26, 2012 by Belacqua

[Caroline]

Is she part of Marriage Encounter?

[QuirkyKapers]

I would probably inadvertently blurt out "Your lover?" I have never had anyone I know refer to their husband as lover. It would throw me for a loop that's for sure.

[Murphy101]

I'd be highly likely to joke in response, "Your lover, bob? As in not your lover some other guy???;):tongue_smilie:"

 

Sounds weird. Like talking in third person about yourself. Sure we all know who you mean, but it's still weird and eventually a friend is gonna say something. They'll say it friendly like, but yeah, there is way too much potential for laughs to not say something between friends.:D

[fhjmom]

Even though you say she is obviously referring to her husband, I would probably say (or at least want to say) something like, "Your lover?!? How does bob feel about that?"

 

But I am feeling a bit snarky today.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Is she part of Marriage Encounter?

 

You, know, that's a possibility. Her dh (aka her lover) is a counselor. Is this a hallmark of Marriage Encounter?

[Pink Fairy]

Ew. Sounds like something you'd hear in a bad 70's movie about swingers.

[Impish]

:ack2:

[abbeyej]

If someone said it once, I'd overlook it. Frequently though? Ew. Just ew.

[LaxMom]

Ew. Sounds like something you'd hear in a bad 70's movie about swingers.

 

Yeah, if I ever refer to my husband as "lover", it's followed by a Nigel Thornberry laugh.

 

I would think it odd. Of course, one of the main draws for us to get married was because I was feeling weird about saying "boyfriend" when we'd lived together for a few years, and the alternatives all sounded so... Lingo-y. (getting married didn't change our relationship or daily lives)

[dangermom]

:ack2: There is something really oogy about the word 'lover.' Way TMI, ew ew ew. Nobody wants to hear that much about your personal life.

[Belacqua]

There was a woman in our local homeschool group who would refer to her kids as Lover, in a nickname sense. As in, "It's almost time to go, Lover." That got a lot of side-eyes from the other moms, I can tell you!

[Kathryn]

Yeah, I agree with everyone else. The images tht the word evokes in one's mind just shouldn't happen.

[TranquilMind]

what would you think? This person will say things like "My lover, Bob. . . " or "I'm going out tonight with my lover." She is not saying it in a joking way and there is no doubt that she's really referring to her husband. I realize that my husband is my lover, but it throws me off somehow when she does this.

 

I'd laugh.

 

And probably say something about my lover too.

[kiana]

Could easily be something she got into the habit of during the romantic stage and never stopped, too.

 

Also, what comes to my mind for 'lover' is like serenades and flowers and stuff :P

[Desert Rat]

Reminds of a Will Farrell sketch. That's kinda weird.

I do have to say though, that my wedding vows contained, "Name, my best friend and my lover, I come to you will all love, honor and sincerity wishing only to become one with you...." I was very nervous about using that (from a Wiccan handfast) because I had lots of Christians coming to the wedding. I got so many compliments! Oh, and no, I don't call my dh, Lover, um, ever.

[Ipsey]

One of the guys we ministered with a decade ago (he was in his mid 40s at the time), referred to his wife this way, and used it as a pet name for her.

 

DH always chuckled silently and thought "so 70s".

 

I just thought it was weird.

 

Of course, I understand that "lover" and "making love" are terms that have changed quite a bit over the years.

 

When I was a kid, I only knew "making love" to mean "having s3x." So you can imagine how horrified I was by the song "Under the Boardwalk." :D

 

I thought people were Pretty Darn Kinky.

 

"Making love" used to mean everything from wooing to flirting to going on an outing with another interested party.

 

Still, "lover" is weird to me.

[LarlaB]

My IL's frequently used to refer to each other as 'lover' :blink::eek::ack2::scared:. For years. It was nauseating...but they still fancy themselves hippies and look for ways to draw attention to their uniqueness.

[Catwoman]

I'll third the :ack2:

 

It sounds like she's trying to show off in some way. I have never heard anyone refer to their dh that way in conversation. For that matter, I have never heard anyone I know refer to their significant other as "lover" when they talked about the men or women in their lives. It seems so tacky.

 

It seems like a desperate cry for attention to me. :D

[Impish]

I prefer the term, "Stud Muffin" or "Love Machine"

 

*runs like heck*

:lol:

[Soror]

I knew a lady who did that exact thing , I always found it very icky.

[TranquilMind]

One of the guys we ministered with a decade ago (he was in his mid 40s at the time), referred to his wife this way, and used it as a pet name for her.

 

DH always chuckled silently and thought "so 70s".

 

I just thought it was weird.

 

Of course, I understand that "lover" and "making love" are terms that have changed quite a bit over the years.

 

When I was a kid, I only knew "making love" to mean "having s3x." So you can imagine how horrified I was by the song "Under the Boardwalk." :D

 

I thought people were Pretty Darn Kinky.

 

"Making love" used to mean everything from wooing to flirting to going on an outing with another interested party.

 

Still, "lover" is weird to me.

 

If you read ANY book or watch any movie from the 30's on back, you will find the term "lover" or "making love" to be used in a different manner than today's connotation.

[mommymilkies]

Ew. Sounds like something you'd hear in a bad 70's movie about swingers.

 

:iagree:

[nd293]

It sound immature to me - someone trying to hold onto being young and in the early stages of a relationship.

[wapiti]

Is she part of Marriage Encounter?

:iagree: My parents were involved in ME and would speak that way to each other, though not when talking to other people. I never took it to have the "ewwww" meaning, but rather "a person who loves." It was annoying, but whatever.

[SquirrellyMama]

If someone referred to their husband as their "lover"

 

I think I would throw up. I also feel ill when people start using the word soul mate.

 

That sounds a little cranky. Sorry, I had a root canal today.

 

Kelly

[justLisa]

I think I would throw up. I also feel ill when people start using the word soul mate.

 

That sounds a little cranky. Sorry, I had a root canal today.

 

Kelly

 

Yeah soul mate. How barfy :lol:

[Catwoman]

I prefer the term, "Stud Muffin" or "Love Machine"

 

:D :D :D :D

 

At least those are tasteful and timeless. :tongue_smilie:

[Pretty in Pink]

I have a girlfriend that does that on FB once in a great while and it doesn't bother me. Said in jest and rarely I think it's funny. If it were her pet name for him and said it daily then, yeah, that's annoying.

[Catwoman]

I also feel ill when people start using the word soul mate.

 

:iagree:

 

It makes me want to tell them to get over themselves and act like a normal person. (And I didn't even have a root canal today, so I guess I'm just snotty all the time. :tongue_smilie:)

[SquirrellyMama]

:iagree:

(And I didn't even have a root canal today, so I guess I'm just snotty all the time. :tongue_smilie:)

 

For once I get a free pass for my snotty attitude. I can say whatever I want and blame it on the root canal. Tomorrow I'm just back to having a snotty attitude for no reason other than having a snotty attitude :D

 

Kelly

[Impish]

:D :D :D :D

 

At least those are tasteful and timeless. :tongue_smilie:

Hey, better than 'Sperminator'.

[Jean in Newcastle]

One of the guys we ministered with a decade ago (he was in his mid 40s at the time), referred to his wife this way, and used it as a pet name for her.

 

DH always chuckled silently and thought "so 70s".

 

I just thought it was weird.

 

Of course, I understand that "lover" and "making love" are terms that have changed quite a bit over the years.

 

When I was a kid, I only knew "making love" to mean "having s3x." So you can imagine how horrified I was by the song "Under the Boardwalk." :D

 

I thought people were Pretty Darn Kinky.

 

"Making love" used to mean everything from wooing to flirting to going on an outing with another interested party.

 

Still, "lover" is weird to me.

 

My IL's frequently used to refer to each other as 'lover' :blink::eek::ack2::scared:. For years. It was nauseating...but they still fancy themselves hippies and look for ways to draw attention to their uniqueness.

 

You know, this couple is in their sixties. Perhaps it is an age thing - in the sense that they would have probably married in the 70's.

[SquirrellyMama]

Hey, better than 'Sperminator'.

 

 

Ooooo, that one sounds very manly.

 

Kelly

Edited September 27, 2012 by kwiech

[Ravin]

First thing I thought of was the SNL skit.

 

Dont't they know "lover" connotes living in sin, not marriage? :tongue_smilie:

[Belacqua]

:D :D :D :D

 

At least those are tasteful and timeless. :tongue_smilie:

 

Nuance matters! Funny how Red Hot Lover isn't as awful as just Lover.

 

And I'm with the soulmate haters. My soul respectfully requests to be left alone.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

My first thought is that she watches too much SNL!:lol:

 

:iagree::D

[DianeW88]

I would fall over on the floor laughing. :smilielol5: Seriously.

[IsabelC]

I refer to the man I live with as my husband, my partner, my man or my bloke pretty interchangeably. I don't refer to him as my lover, but I don't particularly care what words other people use.

[EKS]

I would think that she was weird.

[sassenach]

My first thought is that she watches too much SNL!:lol:

 

:iagree: I don't think I could keep a straight face!

[Impish]

Ooooo, that one sounds very manly.

 

Kelly

yeah, but ppl choke when you say it.

 

Trust me.

[Caitilin]

There was a woman in our local homeschool group who would refer to her kids as Lover, in a nickname sense. As in, "It's almost time to go, Lover." That got a lot of side-eyes from the other moms, I can tell you!

 

Oops! I do that too...:tongue_smilie: :blushing:

[DawnM]

:ack2:

[Guest]

I knew someone who always referred to he dh this way. She would also call him that on the phone, "Oh, hello, Lover..." Maybe it was just sort of a nickname to her and she wasn't thinking of the mental imagery.

[Clear Creek]

You know, this couple is in their sixties. Perhaps it is an age thing - in the sense that they would have probably married in the 70's.

My parents were married in the early 70's and "lover" was their pet name for each other. They didn't use it outside of the house much, but I heard it enough growing up. :ack2:

 

(I use the past tense because they are now divorced. Now I have to hear my dad call my step-mom "lover," which really makes me want to :ack2:)

[Tranquility7]

Oh no! I call my DH "Love" (when I am talking to him). Not lover. And I never *refer* to him as my lover! I agree that is :ack2:.

 

But now I'm all paranoid about "Love"! Is it bad to call him "Love"? Or "My love"? It is my name for him (to his face). When I'm talking to others I always call him "my husband" or use his name. I never, never call him his name when I am talking to him. It feels so unnatural to me!!!! I just can't do it. He calls me Sweetheart, and I call him Love or My love.

 

So give it to me straight... are we horrid?! I'm scared to ask, but I also don't want to be freaking anyone else out! (We use those names in the presence of others also.)

:leaving: