Kissing on the mouth

[AimeeM]

Totally normal here. I kiss my mother, father, step mother, sisters, etc pecking on the mouth. I kiss my sons and daughter the same.

 

My husband kisses his father on the lips, I believe (never gawked to notice, lol). I do not kiss my FIL on the lips, but I do kiss his cheek and/or his forehead. I get kissed a lot when we go up north to visit his family. And since I don't speak Italian, I can only hope they are muttering nice things when they kiss me.

Edited September 26, 2012 by AimeeM

[Tess in the Burbs]

I hug my parents. My mom used to kiss me but now she doesn't. It's weird. Dh doesn't allow our dd to kiss him on the lips. Cheeks only. I let her kiss me b/c I know in time she won't.

 

I would think it depends on your family's culture/background. For us, kissing on mouth isn't normal extended family behavior. People are lucky to get hugs these days....

[mytwomonkeys]

my parents? no. my son? yes. my daughter? nope. she just naturally moved out of it herself.

[sassenach]

Is that what it is?! I've got Polish on dh's side and Lithuanian on my dad's side. I feel an Eastern European vibe here.

 

I think it is. Did any of you notice that the Russian Olympic gymnastics team girls all kissed each other on the mouth? Coaches, too.

 

For our family, extended family get cheek kisses, immediate family gets lip kisses. Nothing weird about it!

[Matryoshka]

I've seen families that do this, and I think it's just family culture, but I have to be honest that it squicks me out. :ack2:

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I think it just depends on family culture.

 

:iagree: Dh's step mom's side of the family are all mouth kissers. I'm so used to it now, that it doesn't even register. Even my family has grown used to it. My step-MIL, BIL, SIL, etc. all kiss me, my sisters, my mom, etc. on the mouth.

 

My family never did that. We are huggers, not really kissers.

[jelbe5]

I have a cousin-in-law who kisses on the mouth (it is more like a quick "peck"). It is done in his family of origin. It is not done in mine; I only kiss my dh on the mouth. I turn my cheek to my cousin-in-law when we see one another and that works fine.

[reign]

My fathers family all kiss on the mouth. The men do too. My husband was a bit shocked the first time he saw my dad kiss my grandfather good by. They are abit old world so I think it is cultural. I kiss my mom good bye every time I see her. So normal for me. That being said it is definitely NOT normal for my husband and I would never kiss my in laws.

[Impish]

My kids kiss us on the lips still. Even Diva.

[Hannah]

I think it just depends on family culture.

 

I grew up in the Cajun French culture. We kiss everybody (relatives) on the mouth. It is just completely normal in my family culture. I don't expect dh, who was raised in Kansas, to kiss all my relatives, but I just do it. When you grow up in that culture, it just doesn't seem pervy to you. I completely understand why others don't feel comfortable with it.

 

In the Afrikaans culture I grew up in mouth kissing (with lips pressed FIRMLY together and very slightly pouted!) is the norm between women and between women and men. Not only for family, but friends as well. Men give each other a firm handshake.

 

Part of my family is Dutch and there you do three kisses that brush past the cheeck. Right cheeck; left cheeck; right cheeck. Women brush-kiss women and men, but men give each other a handshake.

 

Another part and many friends are English. Men and women shake hands when meeting someone for the first time, but after that women will usually just nod or if the relationship is a bit closer, hug. Men shake hands.

 

I hug, but don't kiss all my close friends and follow the tradition for family. I kiss my father and step-mother on the mouth. Oma used to get the air-kisses.

[FaithManor]

I was watching "Meet Joe Black" the other day and I noticed something strange. The grown daughters were kissing their father on the mouth when saying hello or goodbye. I don't have a strong relationship with my dad, so I would never kiss him like that. But I thought, ok maybe that is acceptable in other families, even though I have never seen that. At the same time we kiss our boys all the time. Although I figured it would fade out as they got older, but I don't know.

 

Then the one daughter kissed her brother in law on the mouth too.:confused: I really think this is unusual. Maybe my family is just not all that close. Although we were raised to hug and kiss relatives on the cheek.

 

What do you think? Is this practice normal or not? It's been bugging me since I saw this movie and I am dying to get other points of view on this.

 

 

This would be my reaction :ack2::ack2::ack2::blink:.

 

Definitely not happening in this family. I think we stopped offering kisses on the mouth with the kids when they were probably three and got the hang of kissing on the cheek. Kissing on the cheek was normall until the boys have now reached the age of being too cool to be kissed by their mother. :glare:

 

I don't kiss my dad even on the cheek. We hug and hug often, but kiss...no. The last time I kissed a grown man who was NOT my husband was right before my grandfather died and that was a precious kiss on the cheek that I will never forget.

 

I am sure there are cultures where kissing your relatives on the lips is the accepted norm. I don't think I would be able to live in those cultures! :D

 

Faith

[FaithManor]

I think it is. Did any of you notice that the Russian Olympic gymnastics team girls all kissed each other on the mouth? Coaches, too.

 

For our family, extended family get cheek kisses, immediate family gets lip kisses. Nothing weird about it!

 

 

Holy cow! Can you imagine what would happen over here if a coach kissed a kid on the mouth in front of witnesses?

 

Faith

[Hannah]

I don't think I would be able to live in those cultures! :D

 

You wouldn't know any different if that is the way you grew up. There's nothing that suggests that it is sexual, so no 'ick'.

[mommaduck]

It's a family culture thing. My stepdad's family always kissed on the lips or near the lips...you could be the great grandma or the youngest grandchild or the teen giving grandpa a quick kiss goodbye. The kisses were always a quick puckered peck.

 

In our family, it's generally on the cheek or forehead. Kissing was almost never used in my husband's family...his family would hug, but that was it.

 

In Mennonite churches (only if you are a member) women peck women and men peck men. Usually it is just to the corner of the lip to corner of the lip, but some will get ya head on!

Edited September 26, 2012 by mommaduck

[HappyLady]

I grew up kissing my dad on the lips. I never, ever voluntarily kissed my mother (just didn't have that relationship with her). Sometimes my father would tell me to, though, and I'd kiss her on the cheek.

 

My DH's family are all mouth kissers and I HATE it. I would always try to give them my cheek and they'd move so they'd get my mouth. :glare: After 10 years I just deal with it. Thankfully my 3 BILs all must understand how I feel and they kiss me on the cheek.

[fairfarmhand]

I find that to be odd... Husband/wife, on mouth, yes... Others, no.

:iagree:

Sorry, but if anyone in my family kissed me anywhere, I would be weirded out! (The family I grew up with, not dh or my kids.) I don't know. We're just not kissers, I guess. I kissed my kids when they were littler (but not on the mouth.) Dd still kisses dh and me on the cheek, which I love, but I assumed it was just something people grew out of eventually.

 

I guess it just depends on the family culture. I don't judge either way (unless the kiss is coming my way. Then I would probably judge.) ;)

this was my experience growing up. We're just not kissers!

[mommymilkies]

Completely normal to me. Everyone in my family does this. I had never known that not everyone did this. My family is deep Appalachian from KY and Ohio. If they are distant family we don't know, we don't usually kiss, but it's just a quick puckered kiss. Not slobbery or tongue. I barely ever French even my dh. :lol:

 

My in laws are not kissers at ALL. I totally am ok with that. I don't kiss them! I also never make my kids give kisses.

Edited September 26, 2012 by mommymilkies

[I.Dup.]

No. No one I know does that. I kiss dh on the lips but we do not kiss our children on the lips past the baby stage. It just gets a bit awkward.

[Tiramisu]

I kiss a lot, but I'm a cheek kisser--in and out of the family. Most of my family are cheek kissers, except my grandfather, who grew up in a family with no signs of physical affection. He always laments that he never knew to hug and kiss his own children, and how he was jealous of the Italian dads who would instinctively hug and kiss their kids. In his old age, he now kisses everyone on the lips. :)

 

Lately, I've noticed that more people--friends, men and women--are kissing closer to the lips than to the cheeks. I don't exactly mind it, but it's something different from what I'm used to. It doesn't seem weird or creepy...and it's done in public not private!!!

[Impish]

I was thinking about this, and wanted to add something:

 

This brought up a memory for me. My mom, when my (step)brother and I went to kiss her goodnight, always made a big production of screwing up her face so her lips were to the side, and turning her head so there was no way you could kiss anything but her cheek.

 

My younger bros, however, were always kissed on the mouth.

 

I felt hurt, rejected, unworthy.

 

Personally, I don't care if my kids kiss me on the lips or on the cheek...but I'm *not* going to tell them they CAN'T kiss me on the lips b/c of how I felt w/my mother.

[BigMamaBird]

My MIL tries to kiss my kids on the mouth. Completely grosses me out. So I just taught them that we only kiss people on the cheek unless we're married to them.

[Parrothead]

Completely normal to me. Everyone in my family does this. I had never known that not everyone did this. My family is deep Appalachian from KY and Ohio. If they are distant family we don't know, we don't usually kiss, but it's just a quick puckered kiss. Not slobbery or tongue. I barely ever French even my dh. :lol:

 

My in laws are not kissers at ALL. I totally am ok with that. I don't kiss them! I also never make my kids give kisses.

:iagree:This is how it is done around here. With close friends I'm a cheek kisser and/or hugger.

[BibleBeltCatholicMom]

:iagree:

 

Lips are a sensual part of the body. Just sayin'. ;) So for that reason and others, I'm out. I can't imagine kissing on the mouth other than in a dating or marriage situation.

 

So would that mean you'd never nurse your children?

[mommymilkies]

So would that mean you'd never nurse your children?

 

Yeah, I don't get it. Every part of the body can be used for something sensual. Why can't body parts have more than one function, as god intended?

[BibleBeltCatholicMom]

Holy cow! Can you imagine what would happen over here if a coach kissed a kid on the mouth in front of witnesses?

 

Faith

THat's what I was thinking but also thinking shame on us . . .

[teeniebeenie6]

Doesn't seem unusual to me at all. My Grandpa kisses all his loved ones on the mouth. I kiss my children on the mouth and don't find it at all weird.

[hsingscrapper]

A quick peck is the norm in our house. My dh and I save anything more for our bedroom for the most part.

 

His family aren't kissers outside of their households and it's still only a peck except for littles learning to kiss. Kisses on the cheek happen outside of respective households. My family is very affectionate with hugs but kisses are still pecks on the lips.

[BibleBeltCatholicMom]

I absolutely do kiss my girl on the lips. In fact, one of my favorites is:

 

In the name of the Father (kiss on forhead)

and of the Son (kiss on lips)

and the Holy (kiss on cheek)

Spirit (kiss on other cheek).

Amen (Eskimo Kiss in rhythm with the Amen)

 

And if you want to be R.E.A.L.L.Y grossed out . . . I kissed her on the hand just this morning after she had been playing with wet chickens!

 

So there!

 

I can't be too disgusted to kiss my daughter on the lips!

[Mommyof4ks]

I kissed my dad on the lips until I was 15. I met dh at that point, and once I started kissing him it seemed odd to kiss my dad on the lips lol. My boys still kiss me on the lips at 8 and 9, but at some point I figure it will become odd to them too. We discourage them kissing people outside of our immediate family on the lips. Every family is different, but I would have a hard time with someone who kissed everyone around on the lips to the point that I might avoid them. Of course I am not much of a higher either, so for me even that is weird with people outside close family lol.

[Munchkins_mama]

In our (extended) family, the littles generally kiss everyone on the mouth. We don't discourage it, but by the time they are 8ish they have moved to cheek kissing and hugging. I think in our culture, (Normal american?) it's frowned upon to be so intimate. My almost 7yo is still all about 500 slobbery bedtime kisses, square on the mouth. The 4yo will actually hold my head to kiss me. :001_smile: I'm not really an affectionate person, so it kind of wigs me out but I love them so I don't discourage it at all. :) My oldest is more of a hugger, and she'll kiss my cheek and I'll kiss her forehead.

[Janie Grace]

I absolutely do kiss my girl on the lips. In fact, one of my favorites is:

 

In the name of the Father (kiss on forhead)

and of the Son (kiss on lips)

and the Holy (kiss on cheek)

Spirit (kiss on other cheek).

Amen (Eskimo Kiss in rhythm with the Amen)

 

 

This is very sweet.

 

It's funny, I can't remember who I kiss on the lips/cheeks. I think I kiss dh, dd13, ds5 and ds2 on the lips; ds11 and ds9 on cheek. It's not based on some kind of conviction. I guess it just evolved that way.

[nukeswife]

My husband's now-deceased Polish grandma WOULD NOT kiss anywhere other than right on the lips. No matter how you tried to duck it or turn away from it, that thing was coming in for a landing, man, and you better gird yourself. It would last for a long time too.

 

I'm from a very Polish family and we're all lip kissers, it just isn't weird to us, but yes you do occasionally get that grandma that hung on a little to long.

 

For us it was always no longer than a peck on the cheek would be.

 

I don't kiss my oldest often, because that's his choice, same with my daughter, but my little guy (who's 7 now) still wants tons of bedtime kisses and hugs. He'll come out up to 10 times for another kiss and hug, I can't leave the house without him chasing me down for a hug and kiss. I also have to kiss and hug every stuffed animal he has picked to have in bed that night, which can be A LOT!

[eloquacious]

I was thinking about this, and wanted to add something:

 

This brought up a memory for me. My mom, when my (step)brother and I went to kiss her goodnight, always made a big production of screwing up her face so her lips were to the side, and turning her head so there was no way you could kiss anything but her cheek.

 

My younger bros, however, were always kissed on the mouth.

 

I felt hurt, rejected, unworthy.

 

Personally, I don't care if my kids kiss me on the lips or on the cheek...but I'm *not* going to tell them they CAN'T kiss me on the lips b/c of how I felt w/my mother.

 

My husband does this with our boys, mainly because he thinks they're grody, and frankly they often are (snotty noses, etc) and yet I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

I'm European and kisses don't bug me too much, though I'd prefer cheek to mouth. What bugs me/sets off my personal space alarms are hugs, esp. from men. What's up with that? I hate frontal hugs, I usually try to divert into the sideways teacher hug.

[Janie Grace]

My husband does this with our boys, mainly because he thinks they're grody, and frankly they often are (snotty noses, etc) and yet I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

 

I have to use extreme self-control not to show my grossed-outness sometimes, with one of my boys especially. He always seems to have bad breath, food on his face, a runny nose, etc. (He has hyposensitivity issues, so it's not ALL just being a grody boy!) I don't want him to know I'm grossed out, though, so I've gotten really good at grinning and bearing it. :lol:

[trlt]

I'm from a very Polish family and we're all lip kissers, it just isn't weird to us, but yes you do occasionally get that grandma that hung on a little to long.

 

For us it was always no longer than a peck on the cheek would be.

 

 

 

I am from a very Polish family and we do the same. I never knew that some people thought kissing their children or family on the lips was weird. My family is very affectionate in general. I hold my Dh's hand in public. My 20 yo son and my 15 year old son gives me kisses and hugs me tightly and freely tells me they love me. My 5 year old too.

[FaithManor]

You wouldn't know any different if that is the way you grew up. There's nothing that suggests that it is sexual, so no 'ick'.

 

 

Oh, I get that. No issue. It's that I know how I was raised and therefore how I feel, so kissing men on the lips who aren't DH would be a problem for me if I would have to do that to be accepted in another culture.

 

It was tongue and cheek and yet, I also know myself well enough to know I'd have a tough time with it. My problem. I do get that.

 

Faith

[teeniebeenie6]

:iagree:

 

Lips are a sensual part of the body. Just sayin'. ;) So for that reason and others, I'm out. I can't imagine kissing on the mouth other than in a dating or marriage situation.

Hands, necks, arms, feet and legs can be sensual too. Body parts can have two uses. When I nurse my son it is not sensual at all, but when my husband touches those same objects it is! When my OB Dr. gives me a pap it is not sensual at all, but when my husband is in the same area it is!! Kissing my children on the lips is not sensual and to be frank I am insulted that you would imply such a thing!

Edited September 26, 2012 by teeniebeenie6

[AnnaM]

Lips are a sensual part of the body. Just sayin'. ;) So for that reason and others, I'm out. I can't imagine kissing on the mouth other than in a dating or marriage situation.

 

 

:glare: So is the breast. Should we give up breast feeding?

 

My kids are 8,7 and 4 and all of them kiss me and my husband on the lips. I dread the day they stop. I assume it will start happening soon with my olders. There has not been a single time that it has ever felt sensual. If it makes you uncomfortable then fine don't do it, but I think it is beyond unreasonable to imply that every kiss on the lips is a sensual kiss.

[EmilyK]

My 10 year old son kissed me on the lips last night. Didn't occur to me that it was odd at all.

[mo2]

Not strange.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Not normal in my family. In fact, kissing at all was not really done until after we had all grown and gone our separate ways. However, I have noticed in other families that kissing on the mouth is a normal aspect of familial affection. Nothing lingering, just a peck.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm pro family affection. :001_wub:

[Impish]

I'm pro family affection. :001_wub:

Hussy.

[Pink Fairy]

My parents kiss me on the lips, and I think my mil does too. I'm fine with it. My kids prefer cheek kisses, although my little guy (5yo) does lip kisses. He's so cute when he puckers up, I'll be sad when he thinks he's too big for those. I smile when I think of the big, wet, open mouth kisses that babies give--gross, but incredibly sweet.

 

Personally, I don't care what other people do. Lips, cheeks, noses--it's all good if everybody is comfortable.

[QueenCat]

I'm pro family affection. :001_wub:

 

I am too... but not with kisses on the lips outside of dh. We hug, peck the cheek, etc though.

[TravelingChris]

I am first generation American with two Polish parents. They never did this. They gave us hugs and maybe a kiss on the head, that kind of thing. Totally adored my dad, but would never have thought of doing this. Maybe it has something to do with class? My mom was from the nobility class so maybe that is why it was different in my family than other Polish families. (We also didn't eat Pierogies and some other traditional Polish dishes since that isn't what my parents grew up with, they did eat others, just not the ones that were more traditional in working classes.) My mom grew up with loads of servants- cooks, cook helpers, different governesses in different times from different countries so the kids could learn various languages, etc. It was that different of a life- all destroyed by the Soviet Commies who invaded.

[Murphy101]

My mother and her side of the family did. They were of French origin of it matters.

[rjand6more]

Kissed my mom and dad on the lips and still would if they were still here.:( I kiss my kids and they kiss us on the lips. Only our immediate family though. I have never felt it odd. Cheek kisses to me feel stand offish(unless it's a culture thing-kiss both cheeks) I thought my dh was going to come unwound when a friend's husband kissed me on the cheeks(he's Greek) until he walked over and greeted my dh the same way!ha!

 

I would rather have a hug only than a cheek kiss.

[nukeswife]

I am first generation American with two Polish parents. They never did this. They gave us hugs and maybe a kiss on the head, that kind of thing. Totally adored my dad, but would never have thought of doing this. Maybe it has something to do with class? My mom was from the nobility class so maybe that is why it was different in my family than other Polish families. (We also didn't eat Pierogies and some other traditional Polish dishes since that isn't what my parents grew up with, they did eat others, just not the ones that were more traditional in working classes.) My mom grew up with loads of servants- cooks, cook helpers, different governesses in different times from different countries so the kids could learn various languages, etc. It was that different of a life- all destroyed by the Soviet Commies who invaded.

 

I think you may be on to something there, I would be the 3rd generation American in our family line, but all of my family members would have been the servants/cooks/housekeepers etc of your mom had they lived in Poland. The 1st and 2nd generation Americans were never upper class and many of them weren't even working class, they were down right poor. We never had pierogies, but my Dad, Grandparents and many Aunts and Uncles would routinely eat Czarnena and Keeska (I may have the spelling off) which are both dishes that use blood. They reek something awful, so I would never taste them. I have no problem eating Kielbasa though. :001_smile:

[DianeW88]

When I even think of kissing my fil on the mouth it makes me feel rather ill (and not just because we're battling the stomach flu). LOL, if I tried to kiss my bil on the mouth I'd probably find my mouth smacked rather hard by my sil (not that I want to kiss bil...just need to make sure no one misunderstands me ;)). But I'm just like that - I don't kiss anyone on the mouth (including dc or dh..no flames, please), don't share cups/water bottles, etc.

 

You don't kiss your dh? Did I read that right? Not flaming, but why?