Kissing on the mouth

[Mabeline]

I was watching "Meet Joe Black" the other day and I noticed something strange. The grown daughters were kissing their father on the mouth when saying hello or goodbye. I don't have a strong relationship with my dad, so I would never kiss him like that. But I thought, ok maybe that is acceptable in other families, even though I have never seen that. At the same time we kiss our boys all the time. Although I figured it would fade out as they got older, but I don't know.

 

Then the one daughter kissed her brother in law on the mouth too.:confused: I really think this is unusual. Maybe my family is just not all that close. Although we were raised to hug and kiss relatives on the cheek.

 

What do you think? Is this practice normal or not? It's been bugging me since I saw this movie and I am dying to get other points of view on this.

[ssavings]

Would be abnormal for my family.

[Tap]

Once our kids are about school age, we discourage kissing on the mouth. We aren't demeaning about it.

 

If the child starts to kiss on the lips, when I lean in, I just turn my head to the side and tap my cheek.

[Wendi]

That would be weird in our families, too. We're cheek kissers. (Well, except dh and I when we kiss each other:001_wub: .) Our son kissed me on the forehead before going out with his dad and some friends tonight. (He's almost 16.)

 

Wendi

[QueenCat]

I find that to be odd... Husband/wife, on mouth, yes... Others, no.

[Forget-Me-Not]

I think it just depends on family culture.

[BakersDozen]

When I even think of kissing my fil on the mouth it makes me feel rather ill (and not just because we're battling the stomach flu). LOL, if I tried to kiss my bil on the mouth I'd probably find my mouth smacked rather hard by my sil (not that I want to kiss bil...just need to make sure no one misunderstands me ;)). But I'm just like that - I don't kiss anyone on the mouth (including dc or dh..no flames, please), don't share cups/water bottles, etc.

[Jean in Newcastle]

We don't do it but I've seen families do it. As long as the kiss isn't lingering, it doesn't bother me.

[blondeviolin]

Once our kids are about school age, we discourage kissing on the mouth. We aren't demeaning about it.

 

If the child starts to kiss on the lips, when I lean in, I just turn my head to the side and tap my cheek.

 

:iagree:

 

Our babies/toddlers begin kissing us on the mouth open-mouth. Hyrum still won't go to sleep until he pulls my face to his and gives me a wet kiss.

 

Somewhere between 3/4, I start turning my face so they get my cheek.

[Desert Rat]

I kiss my momma on the lips. Not my dad. My dh's family is mixed. I prefer not to have them kiss *me* on the lips so I turn my head. I would say it depends on the norm for your family. My mom is a physically affectionate person. I am not. She hugs too long, needs a lot of touch. Does that make sense? I'd rather give her a kiss because I feel bad telling her to let go of me when she hugs. I'm trying to save her feelings.

[Caitilin]

Only my ds4 kisses on the mouth; the other kids have all picked up that the way to do it is either on the cheek, forehead, or top of the head--all the places they routinely receive kisses from mom and dad. :001_smile: I am sure my youngest ds will get there before long too. ~Sniffle~

 

ETA: I guess we're a fairly demonstrative family--we hug and kiss the kids several times a day. Kids hug and kiss us goodnight, and stop for a quick hug anytime.

Edited September 26, 2012 by Caitilin

[Marylou]

We don't do it but I've seen families do it. As long as the kiss isn't lingering, it doesn't bother me.

 

:iagree:

[Jen in PA]

It is pretty common on my dad's side.

[Element]

Sorry, but if anyone in my family kissed me anywhere, I would be weirded out! (The family I grew up with, not dh or my kids.) I don't know. We're just not kissers, I guess. I kissed my kids when they were littler (but not on the mouth.) Dd still kisses dh and me on the cheek, which I love, but I assumed it was just something people grew out of eventually.

 

I guess it just depends on the family culture. I don't judge either way (unless the kiss is coming my way. Then I would probably judge.) ;)

[BakersDozen]

I'd rather give her a kiss because I feel bad telling her to let go of me when she hugs. I'm trying to save her feelings.

What a sweet daughter you are! :)

[Seasider]

I am from a long line of cheek-kissers. French heritage, even, so Iremember some older family members kissed both cheeks in greeting. But no lip-to-lip except between spouses.

 

I was quite shocked when dh's grandfather first attempted to plant one on me in greeting. Yikes! I realized that many on his side of the family were lip-kissers; he said that he just grew up with that and didn't think anything of it. I let him know pretty quick that it wouldn't be a practice in our family, and that I hoped none of his relatives would be offended when I did the quick-turn lip-avoiding maneuver and diverted their kisses to a cheek.

 

My apologies to you lip-kissers, I just couldn't do it...

[DianeW88]

I'm Italian, so yes, I have some relatives who kiss me on the mouth. And on both cheeks. And pat both cheeks (face cheeks...we're not THAT uninhibited :D) and utter endearments in Italian when they do it. And we bear hug and are all around quite physically affectionate with one another.

 

In my dh's more formal...er...repressed Anglo background, no one kisses anyone on the mouth. Which is fine with me...I don't want to kiss any of my inlaws to begin with. :lol:

 

I always give me dh lots of mouth kisses in front of our kids. I want them to have that sort of open affection with their spouse and their children. I also want them to be able to say "I love you" easily, so we say that frequently. My kids say it every time we speak on the phone and when we go to bed at night. I hug and kiss my kiddos (not necessarily on the mouth past the pre-school stage) all. the. time. It makes for a happy family in my book.

[Alenee]

My sister, mom, and I all kiss eachother on the mouth, as well as my dds. With my mom and sister, we are a tight unit. Lived together through some really hard times in life. We're just that way. In fact, I think it came from our maternal grandparents. There's nothing weird about it when it's genuinely out of love for the person. I'm also a cheek-kisser with many of my girlfriends and some older men. I think some of that comes from the varying cultures in my church (EO). We have people from Russia, Egypt, Ethiopia, Finland, Canada, etc. Lots of kissing in my culture! :D

[Ruby Rose]

Interesting question. I'll kiss my mom beside her lips or on the cheek. I'd kiss other family members on the head, cheek, or a cheek to cheek kiss on rare occasions like they are in hospital or just had a baby or something. We are big huggers though. We hug hello and goodbye. My kids kiss me on the lips, cheek, head but I think dd is more comfortable with the cheek. They are my babies so whatever it evolves to is fine with me.

[Heather in Neverland]

My family doesn't do it but my in-laws do and I do NOT like it. But I have personal space issues. :D

[GWOB]

I grew up in the Cajun French culture. We kiss everybody (relatives) on the mouth. It is just completely normal in my family culture. I don't expect dh, who was raised in Kansas, to kiss all my relatives, but I just do it. When you grow up in that culture, it just doesn't seem pervy to you. I completely understand why others don't feel comfortable with it.

[Unicorn.]

My aunt was a mouth kisser. Drove. me. bonkers! Ewww, just ewww.

[sparrow]

My family doesn't do it but my in-laws do and I do NOT like it. But I have personal space issues. :D

 

:iagree: Aww, yeah. I'm right there with you!

[MollyAnn]

I still kiss my parents on the lips.

I also kiss my kids (12, 10, 4) on the lips often every day.

I find it strange that so many of you find something wrong with kissing your kids.

[Seasider]

I still kiss my parents on the lips.

I also kiss my kids (12, 10, 4) on the lips often every day.

I find it strange that so many of you find something wrong with kissing your kids.

 

I kiss my kids bunches! Just not on the lips.

[Jean in Newcastle]

And the Mommy wars have now hit the issue of affection in families. . .

[Shawna in Texas]

I've never thought about this before. My 5yo is still a mouth kisser, several times a day. My oldest is a more a hugger now. I can't remember when she stopped initiating kisses. I'd always kiss my mom on the mouth, not because I wanted to, but because I didn't have a choice. :D I do remember kissing my dad when I was younger, but I don't remember when that stopped, but I was probably in elementary school. I still kiss on the lips both grandparents, hellos, good-byes, and bedtimes; it's been that way my whole life. And I do love the kisses from my 3yo cousin.

 

I do have a BIL who doesn't kiss on the mouth, but close enough to where I notice lol. He's very affectionate with everyone, though.

 

So, there's my personal business for the week.

[GWOB]

And the Mommy wars have now hit the issue of affection in families. . .

 

:lol: Seriously! Just my family, and I include aunts, great-uncles, and third-cousins, kiss on the mouth doesn't mean I think check-kissers or exclusive huggers are weird. I think/know my family is weird, but I like weird;). To each their own.

[UmMusa]

Funny topic!

My mom's parents did the peck on the lips with her and other family, but my brothers, dad, and I never got in on that. Just hugs and cheek kisses. We Arabs kiss on the cheeks for hello and goodbye, so no problem with personal space, just the lips!

[Amber in SJ]

My family (of origin) does not kiss on the lips, but my in-laws do, all of them. I was completely freaked out when I met dh's extended family. I was playing dodge-the-lips all evening. Yes, I now have the reputation as the person with "personal space issues." I prefer to call it "boundaries" ;)

 

amber in SJ

[Jean in Newcastle]

My husband's now-deceased Polish grandma WOULD NOT kiss anywhere other than right on the lips. No matter how you tried to duck it or turn away from it, that thing was coming in for a landing, man, and you better gird yourself. It would last for a long time too.

 

:lol:

[besroma]

My husband's now-deceased Polish grandma WOULD NOT kiss anywhere other than right on the lips. No matter how you tried to duck it or turn away from it, that thing was coming in for a landing, man, and you better gird yourself. It would last for a long time too.

 

:D

[Seasider]

My husband's now-deceased Polish grandma WOULD NOT kiss anywhere other than right on the lips. No matter how you tried to duck it or turn away from it, that thing was coming in for a landing, man, and you better gird yourself. It would last for a long time too.

 

:smilielol5::smilielol5:

Oh man, that sounds like a scene from a good ol' John Hughes film!

[GWOB]

My husband's now-deceased Polish grandma WOULD NOT kiss anywhere other than right on the lips. No matter how you tried to duck it or turn away from it, that thing was coming in for a landing, man, and you better gird yourself. It would last for a long time too.

 

:lol: Oh man does that sound so much like so many of my non-English-speaking Great Aunts!!! Gosh I miss those ladies!

[happi duck]

Normal!

[sparrow]

My husband's now-deceased Polish grandma WOULD NOT kiss anywhere other than right on the lips. No matter how you tried to duck it or turn away from it, that thing was coming in for a landing, man, and you better gird yourself. It would last for a long time too.

 

Is that what it is?! I've got Polish on dh's side and Lithuanian on my dad's side. I feel an Eastern European vibe here.

[GWOB]

Is that what it is?! I've got Polish on dh's side and Lithuanian on my dad's side. I feel an Eastern European vibe here.

 

Not just Eastern European! My family is about 95% French and they kiss everyone and their grandma:lol:. Dh's family is mostly of German origin and they would never dream of kissing each other. It is so weird to me to hang out with his family. They are so quiet and reserved. My Cajun French family is so loud, kissy, and touchy.

[Laura Corin]

My husband's father kissed both his sons on the mouth all his life. I still kiss my boys on the mouth but I don't know if that will endure.

 

Laura

[Mabeline]

Thanks everyone for your feedback. I have never witnessed it before so I wasn't sure what to think.

 

I didn't mean to start mommy wars.:001_huh::tongue_smilie: I was just curious as to what most people thought was normal.

 

We still kiss our boys goodnight and lots during the day too. :lol: I hope it doesn't end anytime soon.

[Kate in Arabia]

The culture here is for people to touch noses in greeting; I still feel really weird trying to do that - I tower over most of the ladies here so I don't get if I'm supposed to crouch, or bend down or what, lol. Not to mention the whole touching noses thing kind of.. umm.. unusual for me. The fallback is kissing cheeks, I can handle that.

[swellmomma]

I let the kids take the lead. My oldest 2 air kiss me with a hug typically, I kiss them on the top of the head usually. Ds9 and dd5 still kiss me on the lips, I usually kiss them on the cheeks, top of head or tip of nose if I am initiated it.

[Cassy]

I kiss my boys on the cheeks and the forehead a lot, and hug them a lot, but don't like kissing on the lips. Unfortunately DS5 insists on lip kisses and will even hold my head still so he can. I try to gently discourage it, but it's a bit funny too. I'm sure he'll grow out of it. I don't find it at all strange that others do kiss on the mouth, I can see how it can be a cultural thing, and also some people are just more comfortable with physical demonstrations of affection.

[MollyAnn]

I kiss my kids bunches! Just not on the lips.

 

 

I'm not trying to bring a mommy war to family affection. I didn't mean to sound accusatory or anything. I truly just think its strange that at some age people would stop allowing kisses on the mouth. What changes at age 5 or 10 or whatever that makes kissing on the mouth no longer acceptable?

 

I should clarify; I don't kiss my extended family or my in laws on the mouth, but that's because I don't like them.

[Negin]

Ewww, just ewww.

:iagree:

 

Lips are a sensual part of the body. Just sayin'. ;) So for that reason and others, I'm out. I can't imagine kissing on the mouth other than in a dating or marriage situation.

[Hoot]

That would be VERY weird in my family. Cheek or forehead kissing with my dad. Between DS and I, I will kiss him anywhere on his face except the lips now that he's older. I'm just don't cool with that.

[Reeciecup]

It was common in my family to kiss parent on the lips. When I got older, I just stopped doing it, because it really does seem weird to me. When I raised my own children, I taught them to kiss on the cheek. My mother was very offended that none of my kids would kiss her mouth. She said my kids thought they were too good to kiss her mouth. I told her I had taught my children to kiss on the cheek to prevent to fever blisters (herpes), which both my mom and I get terribly. Although, that is a benefit of avoiding mouth kissing, that's not the real reason, I just think it's weird.

[MamaT]

I kissed both my parents on the lips, even as an adult. Some of my kids are more affectionate than others. My oldest kisses me on the cheek or forehead, my next two still kiss me on the lips, and the youngest three are cheek kissers. I don't think there is anything weird about kissing your parents/kids on the lips.

[lisamarie]

I think it just depends on family culture.

 

I'm Italian, so yes, I have some relatives who kiss me on the mouth. And on both cheeks. And pat both cheeks (face cheeks...we're not THAT uninhibited :D) and utter endearments in Italian when they do it. And we bear hug and are all around quite physically affectionate with one another.

 

:iagree: Italian here. It's common among the older Italians (great uncles/aunts, grandparents, etc) but not so much for the second and third generation born. Occasionally my girls will try to kiss me on the lips because they see that's how I kiss daddy. I haven't decided what I think yet.

[JenC3]

I kiss my kids (sometimes) and my husband on the lips and my parents (sometimes). That's it. Not the inlaws for sure.

[Sisyphus]

Normal in my family! Not in dhs.

 

Interestingly, because of kissing my dad, who has a mustache and has for 50 years, dh cannot grow a mustache. Well he can, but I won't kiss him! It makes me think instantly of my dad, only obviously I don't kiss my dad like that....so no mustaches on dh! ((shudder))