"you talk about homeschool on your FB page..."

[cindergretta]

I am entering my 11th year of homeschooling. My oldest is 18, my youngest is 4. Maybe your dc don't know who the Jonas Brothers are because they are still quite young. Maybe it is because they are home schooled. Maybe they are sheltered.

 

I have children who are quite immersed in Pop Culture and children who wouldn't know what is popular and "in" if it were right in their face! :tongue_smilie:

 

My FB is mine and I do what I want there. But I can't control how others respond. Since I am *not* a FB drama person AT ALL, my posts there tend to consist of pics of my kids and random updates on the oddities of my day. I avoid religious, political, and controversial posts because I don't need that tension. I also skim right past the posts of friends who are preaching, holier-than-thou about life choices, or bragging about their own superiority. I click on "like" on the posts of funny things their kids have said, cute pictures, happy birthdays & anniversaries, and I love silliness in almost all forms. I might even "share" certain silliness! :D

[Rebel Yell]

See now, given the ages of the OP's children, I would have guessed it was because the Jo Bros haven't been popular for a few years. :lol: Not because her kids were homeschooled.

 

FWIW, my homeschooled girls are all well aware of the Jonas Brothers- one due to a homeschooled friend's obsession with one of them. :001_huh:

 

But to answer her question... sort of.... my facebook = my world. I delete nasty comments and troublemakers. I welcome thoughtful debate. I will post things saying "homeschooling is good" but never "public schooling is bad." Same with religious or political topics. I will also occasionally make homeschool stereotype jokes at our expense and with the child's permission. Diamond went to the homeschool prom. Without a date. I took pictures on my mom's apartment balcony with the caption "Romeo, Romeo, Who needs a Romeo?" :D (because a popular joke around here is "Did you take yourself to the Prom in your living room?" But she got the last laugh- no PromDrama!)

[DianeW88]

I'll be frank. Your status update, IMO, smacks of the whole "Us vs Them" mentality. Quite likely you don't intend it that way, but it might be read as "SEE why what I'M doing is SO much better than what YOU are doing?". It also perpetuates the idea that homeschoolers are sheltered and backward.

 

As for the comics. . . I'll just say that I've seen plenty of them and I've chosen not to share 99% of them for the exact same reason. It would seem that a lot of homeschoolers have a really difficult time promoting homeschooling without putting down public schooling in the process. And it shouldn't be that way. It's better to assume that everyone around you is doing what they feel is best for their families, even if it happens to be different from what you would choose.

 

:iagree:Your comment was snarky. Expect people to take it as such.

Edited August 16, 2012 by DianeW88

[8circles]

:iagree:You're comment was snarky. Expect people to take it as such.

 

:iagree:

 

It is your FB page but that doesn't mean you won't be offending people.

[AndyJoy]

I don't think your post was abrasive because it was pro-homeschooling; it was making a judgement against people whose children do know who the Jonas brothers are and blaming it on PS. You made a false assumption that all PS 8-year-olds know who the Jonas brothers are and then implied that that's a bad thing. You could have just left homeschooling out of it and ranted against 8-year-olds growing up too fast and liking the Jonas Brothers.

 

I went to both public and Christian school, and was not in touch with most pop-culture/popular musicians. If Facebook had existed then and my mom had posted, "My daughter doesn't know who the Backstreet Boys are--thank goodness I'm such an awesome parent!" the backlash would be similar.

Edited August 16, 2012 by AndyJoy

[Bang!Zoom!]

If my best friend got all dark about a FB post - I'd confront her in person four inches from her face in two seconds flat.

 

Casual acquaintance? Delete it.

 

You sure this is a best friend?

[momma2three]

I haven't read anything past the first page, but I think your post was judgmental and rude. Towards kids who are public schooled, and towards kids who know who the Jonas Brothers are... and shockingly, some may even like the Jonas Brothers! When you say something offensive, you need to accept the fact that some people will get offended.

[labst60]

My (so-called) bestie has a daughter the same age as mine and was upset when her daughter didn't want to wear bows to school in 1st grade because it wasn't "cool". My daughter isn't told what is cool or not. She likes to wear bows. She still plays with dolls and Barbie and thinks that the music she likes is awesome (even if it isn't cool with her peers.)

 

^^ This is another thing I think really may have NOTHING to to with PS vs. HS. My two oldest dds are 7 and almost 5. 7 year old DD hasn't worn bows - or even barretts - in years - too babyish and just "not her style" she will tell you. She hasn't asked for a TOY for Christmas in 2 years! This past year, she wanted a violin - for her bday she wanted a Kindle. I don't think she has independently played with a babydoll since she was 3-4! That's just HER personality! My 5 year old is completely different - bows, glitter, sparkles, imaginary play, dress up, baby dolls - the whole 9 yards. Same house, same environment, same upbrining. Completely different PERSONALITIES - has NOTHING to do with hs vs. ps for us here.

[LibraryLover]

I would try to avoid assuming that knowing something about pop culture is somehow superior to not knowing anything about pop culture. Why is it better to not know who the Jonas Brothers are? How dangerous are they? What are you saying to friends when you post something like that? Although I agree that it is your wall, and you can post whatever you want. Yet, unless you filter certain folks, you do run the risk of commentary that you might not appreciate.

 

 

Heck, I could recite you some good poetry, but I could also tell you that Suri's parents are getting divorced, and that she likes a particular stuffed bunny she carries everywhere, and although she is only 4, she has shoes worth more than my engagement ring. That doesn't make me stupid. I read People when I'm getting my hair high-lighted. ;) I also spent about 5 hours a few weeks ago watching Pawn Wars on a hotel TV. I had a lot of fun with that.

 

Further, thanks to this board, I now know about Honey Honey Boo Boo. :)

Edited August 18, 2012 by LibraryLover

[Delirium]

I use filters heavily. I filter my pro equality posts to exclude those that aren't. I filter my more 'interesting' links from my m-i-l because I don't want to offend her. You can set up a PS and HS list and when you want to say something about HS without worrying about offending the PSers use the list.

[SKL]

It is funny, isn't it? I have a friend who has a very nice, friendly, fun blog where I spend some time every day. One time the topic of homeschooling came up as an aside, and I could not understand why my friend got testy about it. Her kids are grown and in their 30s, so it's not about her, I don't think. And we all know that one of the folks who comes often to the blog was homeschooled. (Haven't seen him lately, I just realized.)

 

You'd think it would just be another valid life choice, but people take it as a dig or something.

 

Same is true if you accelerate your kid or pretty much do anything out of the mainstream. I don't understand the psychology behind it, but I keep these things to myself for the most part. (Then again, I don't have a FB page or blog, so it's easy for me to say.)

[Myeightkiddies]

I have a few viewpoints on the subject. First, it is your wall. You should be able to post whatever you want on it. Second, if these are real life friends, they should know you well enough to know if you meant it maliciously or not.

 

It is important, though, to understand that type-written statements can be interpreted many ways in that the person reading doesn't always pick-up on your intent. It really depends on how their inner-voice is reading the statement. Certainly they bear a lot of the responsibility in how they interpret something, but the writer needs to keep that in mind.

 

When I started homeschooling, the vast majority of homeschoolers were "the stereotype", which included no pop culture knowledge and closets full of denim jumpers. Nowadays, there is such diversity in the homeschooling community. I find it refreshing. While one's children may not know who the Jonas Brothers are, there are many homeschooling children who do. It's hard to make, "Glad we homeschool because..." statements when it comes to pop culture-related issues.

Edited August 16, 2012 by Myeightkiddies

[Alice]

I don’t do FB so I don’t know the etiquette. I blog and come here occasionally. I assume that anything I say online is like saying to the whole world. Yes it’s MY blog but if I’m putting it out there in public people can comment on it.

 

I can see how your comments came across as a little “better than thouâ€. I’ve learned over the past few years that people are very very sensitive to any parenting decisions they have made. Even just telling someone you homeschool can lead to someone getting all defensive about why they can’t do it. I don’t have to say anything that could be taken as me thinking that everyone should homeschool for someone to respond in a very defensive way. And to say “Thank goodness we homeschool†will be taken as a judgment by most people who don’t. What I’ve learned is to not make those kinds of statements and to almost always say find some way to say something positive about their choices.

 

If I was you I’d ask myself if I’d been making statements that others could take offense at even if you didn’t mean them that way. It may be that people like your friend jumped on you because this was the last straw. On the other hand, if that’s not the case and this was isolated statement than it sounds like your friends overreacted even if what you said was a little judgmental.

 

If you want to smooth things over you can always post an apology post. “I’m sorry if I offended anyone yesterday. We are new to homeschooling and very excited about it. Because I share about my life here I will be sharing about homeschooling but I never meant to imply that I thought that those who choose public or private school are not choosing the best for their family. Every family is different. I can respect your choice and I hope you can respect mine. I hope you can accept my apology and let’s move on to talking about more important things like (insert some silly thing that people in your circle will understand and think is funny)."

[ksr5377]

Regardless of what you should or shouldn't post, if this is really someone you're close to this needs to be dealt with IN PERSON! If it's just an old friend you only talk to on FB, I wouldn't worry about it.

[jentancalann]

:iagree:

 

As others have said, you are making a judgement-laden statement in a "mixed" group. You have to take responsibility for stirring the pot. Friendships go both ways. If I were you, I'd apologize for the offense, and avoid posting about why homeschooling is better to all your friends. Did you know you can select who sees your posts? Maybe make a "homeschool friends" group to post those comics and comments to.

 

Wendi

 

Yep. One of my friends started a "my hs girlfriends" group that we post and share things in. A lot of times we forget how people have put us on a pedestal. Not everyone feels they CAN do what we do. It's just about keeping other's feelings in mind.

[kalanamak]

Ignore them. Really. I make the same kind of comments to people in real life. Is it really different than PS friends posting pics of all their darlings on the first day back at school and and telling how they themselves are now running off to the gym/coffee shop for some "me time"? I might be a bit envious of them but not offended.

 

:iagree:

[Shamzanne]

"My kid doesn't know who the Jonas Brothers are. Thank you homeschooling."

 

Just a side note: This is one of my favorite things about homeschooling! My mom and sister think I'm a terrible person because I'm worried about my daughter's exposure to my cousin's Justin Bieber OBSESSED 4 year old.

 

I'm just glad that we can step back from the mainstream obsessions and choose what is worth our interest, instead of having to think certain things and people are great just to be considered cool.

 

Not that there's anything inherently wrong with being a Justin Bieber or Jonas Bros. fan, but I don't want my daughter liking them just because everyone else does.

 

Your comment seemed perfectly fine to me but I have made similar statements and gotten similar flack.

[LG Gone Wild]

I try to balance things out.

 

"You know your kid is homeschooled when they (something precocious). Oh crap, better get off facebook to remove my pantsless child from neighbor's yard."

 

I agree.

 

I think posting the Jonas comic was a misstep.

[Dmmetler]

I think part of it is the child, too. My DD could care less about Justin Bieber or Katy Perry, but there are songs that both sing that she enjoys if they do them in dance class or if she hears them played. I don't think that's homeschooling so much as it's personality-and possibly, having a parent who's a musician and who's demonstrated as long as DD's been alive that just because Kermit the Frog sings a song doesn't mean that it's just Kermit's song and no one else can sing it or play it :).

[MFG]

Aren't the Jonas Brothers getting a little long in the tooth? Do they know 1 Direction?

[MomatHWTK]

I rarely post on fb about "My kids.......because of homeschooling," because I respect others' decisions NOT to homeschool. I can be thankful for my homeschooling without shoving it on others. KWIM?

 

:iagree:

 

If I were a PS parent, I would've preceived the "thank you homeschooling" comment as being snarky. It goes beyond sharing your life and into implied criticism of others' choices. What if one of your PS friends posted, "My kids know XYZ, I'm so glad we don't homeschool!"

 

 

DH and I chose homeschool for various reasons and we make many other decision based on what God calls us to do. But God's calling is not a badge of honor, but a quest for humility. He calls us to serve humbly, to give freely and most of all to love. We serve Him best when we represent His calling for us with love understanding that each person's calling is his own and is revealed in God's own time.

Edited August 16, 2012 by MomatHWTK

[LibraryLover]

Aren't the Jonas Brothers getting a little long in the tooth? Do they know 1 Direction?

 

My hser has 1 Direction music on her iPod. :auto:

[Trish]

"But on the other hand, her not knowing the 'Jo Bros' IS a result of HS. She isn't slammed with pop culture. (And I think that's a good thing!)"

 

Maybe, maybe not.

 

I grew up in public schools and STILL managed to know almost NOTHING about pop culture. And I'm sure there are homeschooled students who are up on the latest bands, and such. So it has as much to do with family environment and the personality of the kid in question as how the kid is schooled.

 

Plus, how about the irony of the kids not knowing the Jonas Brothers (culture unaware) but mom's talking about it on Facebook? (hyper plugged in) That isn't a criticism, just thought the juxtaposition was funny. :D

Edited August 16, 2012 by Trish

[LibraryLover]

double post oops

[LibraryLover]

I didn't know Justin Bieber until I saw him on Ellen awhile back. ( I had heard the name.) He seemed like a very kind person. He brought backpacks, books, & toys etc from Ellen to a school in a poor neighborhood. (I think Ellen had been supporting this school for a time.) He stayed the whole day and talked to the kids in class, had a very articulate conversation with the principal etc. He seemed like a good role model, and a very modest kid.

 

Fame and wealth can give people some good opportunites to help. Whenever I hear his name, I think of how repsectful he was of those children. Anyway...back to the issue at hand.

Edited August 18, 2012 by LibraryLover

[Jpoy85]

Maybe you could start a blog instead of posting about HSing on FB, that way if you want to say " we did XYZ in HSing" they can look on your blog.

[Slipper]

I didn't read through all the replies (I need to have dinner ready in an hour). I try to temper my facebook comments so that one side doesn't really have the upper hand. My oldest goes to public school. My other two are home schooled. However, that could change (for any of them) on any given day. I have relatives and friends who are PS teachers. Why antagonize anyone?

 

I usually post about how much I love home schooling and how glad I am that the girls have some extra time to rest (medical isssues) or do other activities. I also make sure that I post how much respect I have for the majority of public school teachers who strive to do a difficult job these days.

 

To say, "Thank you home schooling!" does imply a sense of superiority, even if none was intended. Comments like that should probably be posted in a community where others can appreciate them (like here). If you have a mixed audience, you will get mixed reactions.

[KungFuPanda]

So, your daughter doesn't know about famous homeschoolers because you homeschool?

[kb44]

So, your daughter doesn't know about famous homeschoolers because you homeschool?

 

Snort...put a fork in this thread! I don't know about the j bros, so looked them up! Wow, if you want your hs (or any) kid to like a group, they look as straight as can be! Christian family, homeschooled, excellent values and models. I'm not sure I could stand the music, LOL! ;)

[cindergretta]

So, your daughter doesn't know about famous homeschoolers because you homeschool?

 

:lol: Excellent point! :lol: (Not laughing at the OP. :grouphug: Just at the irony!!)

[annandatje]

Speaking of the Jonas Brothers....

 

I first heard of them at a homeschool social event a few years ago, and I had to inquire who they were since it seemed that I was supposed to know.

 

Later that evening I googled them. What would be either positive or negative about being familiar with them?

 

I guess I do not understand why it would be considered undesirable to have a basic working knowledge of pop culture, at least enough to catch the references.

[MamaJ & BabyK]

People who are against homeschooling will start an argument over anything. Once in the beginning of our hs journey my SIL said "homeschooling is a joke, I met a girl who was homeschooled and couldn't write complete sentences. Kids need real school" For a long time I had to justify hs and our reasons, now when someone has a negative view I ignore and save myself time and energy.

[Rivka]

If I were a PS parent, I would've preceived the "thank you homeschooling" comment as being snarky. It goes beyond sharing your life and into implied criticism of others' choices. What if one of your PS friends posted, "My kids know XYZ, I'm so glad we don't homeschool!"

 

Also, what you meant was that you're glad your kids aren't at school being exposed to peer culture - meaning that your comment essentially amounted to, "I'm so glad that MY kids aren't being sullied by YOU GUYS' kids."

 

Your wall, your choice. But I'm not surprised that people were offended.

 

I post about homeschooling stuff on my FB page from time to time, although I also have a FB page for my homeschooling blog and I'm more likely to put homeschooling comments there. But I've done my best to excise the phrase "See, THIS is why I homeschool" from my publicly-used vocabulary, because I've heard too many people say that it comes off as smug. Instead I try to post about the funny or interesting things that happen, and let other people draw their own conclusions about whether it shows that homeschooling is great or not.

[momtokea]

What's wrong with knowing about the Jonas Brothers?

 

I have been on Facebook for a year now, and when I joined I vowed I would never, ever post anything to hurt anyone. It may be my Facebook page, but it doesn't give me the right to post things that will hurt others. If I can't say it to my friend's face, then I can't post it on Facebook.

 

I am always careful of appearing arrogant in my choice to homeschool. Just like I don't want to read negative opinions about homeschooling, public school parents don't want to read negative opinions about public school. There is nothing wrong with choosing public school if that is the best choice for one's family. If you want respect for your choice to homeschool, you must extend the same respect for people who have chosen something else.

 

Also, your children are young. You are in control of what they are exposed to. This changes as children get older, even if you continue homeschooling. Someday you might be eating humble pie. I know I am.

[Rebel Yell]

Aren't the Jonas Brothers getting a little long in the tooth? Do they know 1 Direction?

:lol:

 

Snort...put a fork in this thread! I don't know about the j bros, so looked them up! Wow, if you want your hs (or any) kid to like a group, they look as straight as can be! Christian family, homeschooled, excellent values and models. I'm not sure I could stand the music, LOL! ;)

I think they are trying to shed that image now...

[GWOB]

Some people take your decision to homeschool very, very badly, as a personal attack on their decision to put their kids in PS. You can never do anything to help those situations.

 

I'm with Ellie, they don't have to read if they don't want to.

 

:iagree: I am sure I offended about 90% of my FB friends when, after the 1,000th post by a particular person I cannot delete about how Christians should put their kids in ps and stop hating on her for not homeschooling:001_huh:, I wrote this:

 

 

Warning: insomniac rant.

You know what bugs me? People who hate on homeschool moms. Seriously, you (everyone included) were not a factor in my decision to homeschool. I homeschool because I feel like it. Because I cannot stand the fact that my kids were gone for 9+ hours a day. No, I do not think I am smarter/better than you are. No, I do not think my kids are smarter/better than your kids. I homeschool because it works for MY family. Only 5 people factored into my decision to homeschool: my husband, my 3 kids, and myself. It's a bit conceited to think another person's decision to homeschool reflects on you And just because I have some Jesus love doesn't mean I only teach sewing and homemaking. My kids are well educated. Tyvm. End insomniac rant.

 

I was kinda surprised I didn't lose any friends over that one. Oh well. I roll my eyes over tons of crap my "friends" post. People just need to get over themselves.

[Garga]

"My kid doesn't know who the Jonas Brothers are. Thank you homeschooling."

 

 

"So amazing to join in Homeschool Field Day and pray as a group before lunch. They stopped doing that in PS years ago."

 

Those are snarky statements.

 

They come strongly across as "my homeschool choice is waaaay better than your public school choice."

[LucyStoner]

I personally think if you dish it, you should not be surprised to take it. You remarks come off as judgmental and snarky, apparently even to many of your fellow homeschoolers. I love homeschooling and am glad to have the choice. Not knowing who the Jonas Brothers are is neither a social bad or a social good. My son and my niece are 9 and 10. He is hs and she goes to ps. Frankly neither of them knows the Jonas Brothers because they are old news. My son pays no attention to bands besides TMBG and similar kids music and my niece is listening to Kelly Clarkson and the like.

[Jeanne in MN]

Another snarky and us vs. them. Sorry.

Edited August 17, 2012 by Jeanne in MN

[BlsdMama]

My hser has 1 Direction music on her iPod. :auto:

 

 

Okay, this is funny because...

 

We were talking about traveling to England tonight while my little 15yo (P.S.ed) cousin is visiting. She mentions that would she would go to England for one direction. We all laughed - thinking she meant a one way ticket to England - she'd just stay.

 

We had ZERO idea what she was talking about. :D Now I hear even other homeschoolers know? So behind the times. ;)

[tex-mex]

Aren't the Jonas Brothers getting a little long in the tooth? Do they know 1 Direction?

:lol::lol:

 

Complete has-beens in today's pop culture. One Direction are the new boy band to ooh and awww over. I homeschool but I love my pop culture. :D

[marbel]

Just a side note: This is one of my favorite things about homeschooling! My mom and sister think I'm a terrible person because I'm worried about my daughter's exposure to my cousin's Justin Bieber OBSESSED 4 year old.

 

I'm just glad that we can step back from the mainstream obsessions and choose what is worth our interest, instead of having to think certain things and people are great just to be considered cool.

 

Not that there's anything inherently wrong with being a Justin Bieber or Jonas Bros. fan, but I don't want my daughter liking them just because everyone else does.

 

Your comment seemed perfectly fine to me but I have made similar statements and gotten similar flack.

 

This is probably sidetracking too much, but how old is your daughter that this exposure worries you?

 

I know what you mean about kids "having to think certain things and people are great just to be considered cool." We have always talked a lot to our kids about not wanting things or liking things just because other people around us do. We would do this even if we didn't homeschool. Friends of ours with kids in school do the same thing. It just seems like a normal parent thing to do, not a homeschool thing. ;)

[NanceXToo]

While I have no problem with my homeschooled kids being exposed to much of pop culture- its your Facebook page. Say what you want. If people look to argue with you because of things you post and you're not interested in that, perhaps they just aren't good Facebook friend material. Shrug. Unfriend them.