What do you think of the term "babydaddy"

[melissad2]

I think it is asinine. Don't forget to put that option in your poll.

 

:iagree:

[ChristyB in TN]

I don't use it but friends I know who have children and haven't been married or otherwise committed to the father use it to refer to said father. I feel it probably isn't offensive to them, obviously. No one has asked those fathers, though. It's a little slang-y for me.

[Bang!Zoom!]

This reminds me of a huge debate over the language training of law enforcement in dense urban multicultural areas.

[MSNative]

She introduced him as, "my babies' daddy" which isn't the same.

 

If she was going to use it as described she would have said, "my babydaddy" but that isn't what she said.

 

See and I thought she was using the expression but couldn't bring herself to use poor grammar. :) FTR - at the time, I had never heard the expression so I actually took her meaning as you described it.

[Slartibartfast]

See and I thought she was using the expression but couldn't bring herself to use poor grammar. :) FTR - at the time, I had never heard the expression so I actually took her meaning as you described it.

 

I don't think there is a remote chance of her using the expression.

[LaxMom]

Crude. Though I occasionally use it to refer to my husband when he's being goofy and I am trying (tongue in cheek) to disassociate myself from him, while suggesting he would be fodder for Jerry Springer. :D

[DawnM]

Well, yes, although many times I have heard it, it refers to possibly not even knowing who the father was.

 

I don't use it IRL, so forgive me if my definition is really awful, but I think Jerry Springer when I hear the term as that is the context I have always heard it.

 

Dawn

 

Don't you mean an unwed father?

[Lady Florida.]

Reminds me of "po-po"

 

Um, in dh's family po-po is what you say to a baby or toddler when talking about his bottom. As in, "After I change your diaper/you go potty, it's time to clean your po-po". I guess we'd better be aware of those around us when we use that term. :lol:

 

I have heard it used as an insult. I have heard it used by way of expository short-hand. I have heard it used as a joke.

 

I've only heard it used as a joke.

 

After reading this thread I am now surprised to know that people did not know the meaning of "babydaddy" and "cray-cray". I thought they were both well used standards.

 

I was surprised that some people never heard babydaddy. I don't think I ever heard cray-cray. I don't exactly live in a diverse area though. Most of these terms I only hear on tv or see used online.

[Karen in CO]

It is poor grammar, but I have used it as recently as yesterday. It is the common name for the relationship between a member of my family and another person. :D It is a lot easier than saying, "the father of personA's baby," and nicer than saying what I really think of him. She has no current relationship with him. They were never much of anything. Except they are parents of a very sweet, beautiful baby. One of them, I love and am related to. The other, not so much.

[nukeswife]

I think it is asinine. Don't forget to put that option in your poll.

 

:iagree:

[LaxMom]

Well, yes, although many times I have heard it, it refers to possibly not even knowing who the father was.

 

I don't use it IRL, so forgive me if my definition is really awful, but I think Jerry Springer when I hear the term as that is the context I have always heard it.

 

Dawn

 

Yep. As in: I'm came on here today so you can fin' out who my babydaddy. I thought it dis guy or maybe dis other guy, but las' time I here, you say those tes's say no. So now I thank it dis guy or dis other guy that was in jail but he dead now.

 

Which really makes you go :001_huh:

[hillfarm]

I find "babydaddy" to be a disgusting term used to describe a man who has fathered a child with a woman to whom he is not married and who takes little or no responsibility in that child's life. In my area, the term is often used by women who may have some difficulty in determining exactly which s*xual partner to whom the term should be dedicated.

 

I find it ironically appropriate, since I consider any man (or woman, for that matter) who thoughtlessly brings a child into this world to be incredibly irresponsible and immature, hence it is appropriate to associate their name with the term "baby". As in, "What a big baby, to afraid to man up and be responsible for his actions:glare:." I am not amused. The child suffers. The mother suffers. Taxpayers suffer. And the babydaddy gets off free and easy.

 

BTW, I find "babymama" just as distasteful. In my area it is usually used by men to identify a woman with whom they have conceived a child. It is used in lieu of other terms such as girlfriend, fiance, wife, or other term that implies an ongoing relationship. I have heard men not only use that term, but use it in the plural form, indicating that they have had children with more than one woman, but are not actively involved in parenting any of their offspring.

 

What saddens me the most is that the children of these casual unions are the ones to pay the heaviest price. They are the ones much more likely to grow up hungry, abused or neglected. They are the ones who wonder why they have no one in their lives for Father's Day. They are the ones who often struggle with the emotional baggage of wondering why their fathers didn't love them enough to be active in their lives.

 

IMO, there is nothing at all cute or attractive about a man who makes children but refuses to provide for and help raise them.

[Meriwether]

Basically, if someone overhears a conversation about someone and the father's name is mentioned: "oh, who is so and so?" It's simpler to say "he's the babydaddy" rather than say, "he's the man who slept with so and so and got her pregnant". Sperm donor doesn't work, because it's not accurate. Father doesn't work for the same reason. Bio-dad implies adoption or step-parent. Nope, he's the babydaddy which encompasses all that could be said about him.

 

:iagree: I vehemently dislike this word for a host of reasons, but it seems to meet a need in this culture.

[kubiac]

When necessary, we use "baby mama" around here, to describe the mother of my son's cousin.

 

DH's brother and the baby mama intentionally made a person after knowing each other for a short time, and then the relationship they built on that decision lasted only 9 months after the baby was born. I think she was technically his fiancee for a while, so we could say "ex-fiancee" but her significance to the family is that she is the custodial parent of our nephew, so

"ex" doesn't really cover it, and she never quite achieved "Aunt" status either, so...

 

Both baby daddy and baby mama are awkward just b/c they have too many syllables, but they are crudely useful as a shorthand term!

[Karen in CO]

Don't you mean an unwed father?

Nope - unwed father implies more responsibility than a babydaddy takes. A babydaddy is closer to a sperm donor than a father but with more of a sense of despair for our society.

[ChristyB in TN]

Never heard of it. I have however heard of cray-cray and I have used it much to my dh chagrin. He thought I was cray-cray for even saying it;)

 

So...my 17 year old daughter has informed my 13 year old son that cray-cray doesn't mean crazy, as he thought it did. I didn't stick around for the actual definition, though. Evidently it originates from a rap song or something.

[Lara in Colo]

I don't think it means that the father isn't involved. I think it means the relationship of the man to the woman.

 

Not boyfriend (anymore)

Not husband.

Not ex-husband.

and ex-boyfriend isn't that accurate either.

 

I don't think it really states the involvement of the father.

[angela in ohio]

I put other. It's like 'girlfriend' . . . a primarily black phrase that got co-opted by whites and so overused that the original 'feeling' of the word has been altered and now just seems cray-cray.

 

This.

[Rosie_0801]

It's a word with a meaning, so it's a useful lexical item for when that meaning needs to be expressed. It has not really become part of Australian English yet so I could count on one hand the times I've had cause to use it. It's not a nice phrase, but it's not a happy idea either.

[Audrey]

It's a word with a meaning, so it's a useful lexical item for when that meaning needs to be expressed. It has not really become part of Australian English yet so I could count on one hand the times I've had cause to use it. It's not a nice phrase, but it's not a happy idea either.

 

 

It doesn't appear much in the Canadian lexicon either, which is part of my reason for asking the question. It is interesting to read the varying interpretations of the term and the varying emotions behind those interpretations. I had no idea it could be such a charged term.

[Carrie12345]

I don't think it means that the father isn't involved. I think it means the relationship of the man to the woman.

 

Not boyfriend (anymore)

Not husband.

Not ex-husband.

and ex-boyfriend isn't that accurate either.

 

I don't think it really states the involvement of the father.

 

:iagree:

My son lives with my "babydaddy" right now. Even just joking around on the internet, I don't like to use the term "ex-boyfriend" as a grown woman who has been married for nearly 12 years. This isn't high school. And, as a grown woman who has been married for 12 years, people usually assume a previous marriage when I just say "Ex". And "previous relationship" sounds so Stick Up Butt-ish outside of formal documents.

 

I said babydaddy and butt-ish. Maybe this is junior high. :lol:

[Slartibartfast]

Um, in dh's family po-po is what you say to a baby or toddler when talking about his bottom. As in, "After I change your diaper/you go potty, it's time to clean your po-po". I guess we'd better be aware of those around us when we use that term. :lol:

 

 

 

Po-po as used to refer to police where I lived previously.

[KungFuPanda]

So...my 17 year old daughter has informed my 13 year old son that cray-cray doesn't mean crazy, as he thought it did. I didn't stick around for the actual definition, though. Evidently it originates from a rap song or something.

 

Yes, but it has evolved to be used for 'crazy,' Kanye's original use notwithstanding :D

[Parrothead]

Po-po as used to refer to police where I lived previously.

Yeah, po-po and 5-0 are referring to cops normally.

[LucyStoner]

Po-po as used to refer to police where I lived previously.

 

Same here. I had no idea some people apparently use it otherwise.

[Slartibartfast]

Yes, but it has evolved to be used for 'crazy,' Kanye's original use notwithstanding :D

 

What does Kanye say it means?? :001_huh:

[ereks mom]

Yep. As in: I'm came on here today so you can fin' out who my babydaddy. I thought it dis guy or maybe dis other guy, but las' time I here, you say those tes's say no. So now I thank it dis guy or dis other guy that was in jail but he dead now.

 

Which really makes you go :001_huh:

 

Do you live around here?!?!? Because this is what I hear a LOT in this area. Sad, isn't it? Well, it's worse than sad, but I don't really have an adjective that is appropriate.

[KungFuPanda]

Same here. I had no idea some people apparently use it otherwise.

 

This reminds me of a scene from 'Everybody Loves Raymond" in the episode where Robert decides to be 'a little too ethnic.'

 

Robert: That's whack!

 

Raymond: We're Italian. "Whack" means something else to us!

[TravelingChris]

I don't hear it anywhere in person. But I like to watch People's Court and Judge Judy and the litigants there sometimes use it. (Only the lower class, and not all, or even most litigants on the shows are lower class so not that frequently). I have only heard po po from my dh who got it from watching some show like World's Dumbest or Jail or something like that. Never in person. And dh only uses it as a joke. None of us use the term babymama or babydaddy since we have absolutely no occasion to use it and at least I think it is a crass expression.

 

Oh and like another person suggested in another thread, to read about the changes in American society, I suggest COming APart by CHarles Murray. It is a sociological study of white America (so no one can claim any racism effects) and the increasing separation of classes from 1960 to 2010 by using census data and other data.

[KungFuPanda]

What does Kanye say it means?? :001_huh:

 

Something about an old crime family named Kray . . . It's a line in a song. The phrase that got picked up was "That $h!t Kray." I do need to add that the whole Kray/cray question is debatable, but I'm unwilling to do real research. I'm just spreading rumors here.

Edited August 6, 2012 by KungFuPanda

[LaxMom]

Do you live around here?!?!? Because this is what I hear a LOT in this area. Sad, isn't it? Well, it's worse than sad, but I don't really have an adjective that is appropriate.

 

No. That was a self introduction from an apparently returning "guest" on Springer. My car was being tuned up. I had no control over the selection or volume of the television in the waiting area.

 

And you're right. There is no adjective that seems to fit.

[ereks mom]

Didn't Michelle Obama introduce her husband as her kids' baby daddy?

 

Yes, she did, in 2004 when he was elected senator. She caught quite a bit of flak over it at the time because many people consider the term a racial slur and were appalled that she used it.

[Ghee]

I find I get a certain ---- sadness*** when I hear the term.

 

I think it is accurate for what it is used for, but it highlights the sad state of our current society, that such a term is needed and used so much.

 

I don't think it's *needed* that much more than any other point in history. I think people tended to say "My child's father." or just not talk about him, if he weren't involved. In fact, I've heard more people use the term "baby daddy" to reference a boyfriend, than a man who had fled upon hearing of the pregnancy.

 

I think it's crude, rude, and vulgar. I think it makes the person saying it sound like *bad word*. I truly think it says more about the person saying it, than it does about the person they are naming.

[Slartibartfast]

Yes, she did, in 2004 when he was elected senator. She caught quite a bit of flak over it at the time because many people consider the term a racial slur and were appalled that she used it.

 

"Babies daddy" doesn't mean the same thing.

 

Only the cray-cray were giving her crap.

 

Those were the same people who were going on about "terrorist fist jab."

Edited August 6, 2012 by Sis

[ebrindam]

birthfather

 

 

More like biological father..."Birthfather" is more for adoption situations and "baby daddy" would be more in a single parent situation.

[kewb]

Well, when I used it to wish my dh a happy birthday on facebook it was pretty darn funny. However, in general, I think it is an awful term. Sadly, it is also an accurate one for many men. It is just as awful as Baby Mama.

[Karen in CO]

It doesn't appear much in the Canadian lexicon either, which is part of my reason for asking the question. It is interesting to read the varying interpretations of the term and the varying emotions behind those interpretations. I had no idea it could be such a charged term.

:lol:

Everything on here is charged, especially if you're talking about families, s*x, politics, religion, or money, and that term actually crosses most, if not all, of those lines. I think a lot of how we feel about that "word" relates to our experiences with it. For me, the word has a face. One little smirking face.

Edited August 6, 2012 by Karen in CO

[ereks mom]

No. That was a self introduction from an apparently returning "guest" on Springer. My car was being tuned up. I had no control over the selection or volume of the television in the waiting area.

 

And you're right. There is no adjective that seems to fit.

 

:eek: I was only kidding about you're living around here, but I really do hear things like that in my area of the country. Astonishing but true.

[Joani]

I just can't take it seriously. It's not crude, it's not cute, and I've only ever used it jokingly (such as when I talk about my neighbor's pregnant cat).

[LucyStoner]

"Babies daddy" doesn't mean the same thing.

 

Only the cray-cray were giving her crap.

 

Those were the same people who were going on about "terrorist fist jab."

 

A-yup. The context of that statement was a sweet way of saying "the father of my children." That YouTube takes it wholly out of context. Nowhere else have I ever heard that "my babies' daddy" is a variant or plural of "my babydaddy". Give me a break. AFAIK babydaddy is used the same for the father of more than one baby by the same woman. As in "my boys have the same babydaddy". The plural is for the daddy, not the baby part. As in "all you babydaddies out there." Babies' daddy is two words not a pluralization of babydaddy.

[Audrey]

Something about an old crime family named Kray . . . It's a line in a song. The phrase that got picked up was "That $h!t Kray." I do need to add that the whole Kray/cray question is debatable, but I'm unwilling to do real research. I'm just spreading rumors here.

 

The Krays were British gangster twins active in the 50's/60's. They were crazy. That's for sure.

[Tammi K]

I think it shows/implies an general ignorance or lack of knowledge. Basically, I can't take seriously a person who choses to speak outside the bounds of proper grammar. (Those unfamiliar with the language notwithstanding, of course.)

[KrissiK]

I think it is asinine. Don't forget to put that option in your poll.

 

:iagree:

[jamajo]

:lol:

Everything on here is charged, especially if you're talking about families, s*x, politics, religion, or money, and that term actually crosses most, if not all, of those lines. I think a lot of how we feel about that "word" relates to our experiences with it. For me, the word has a face. One little smirking face.

 

 

You forgot race.

 

It is SLANG....used within circles where slang is the order of the day. This term belongs to a subculture in our society where I dare say many here do not belong. Some things from a subculture make their way into the "common" everyday man's language b/c of the things that bring us together in society like music, and media. We still might not fully understand the connotation of the new terms but at least it gets us to talk. Talking is good.

 

(Only the lower class, and not all, or even most litigants on the shows are lower class so not that frequently).

 

 

As in low economic class? If not, what "class" are you referring to?

 

This reminds me of a scene from 'Everybody Loves Raymond" in the episode where Robert decides to be 'a little too ethnic.'

 

Robert: That's whack!

 

Raymond: We're Italian. "Whack" means something else to us!

 

One of my favorite episodes on Raymond. I've learned a lot about Italians from Raymond, a lot about Hispanics from George Lopez and my inlaws :001_huh:

...and a lot about everybody else from well uh...just living.:001_smile:

[LeslieAnneLevine]

Um, in dh's family po-po is what you say to a baby or toddler when talking about his bottom. As in, "After I change your diaper/you go potty, it's time to clean your po-po". I guess we'd better be aware of those around us when we use that term. :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

Is your DH's family German?

I've actually never heard of po-po as the police. I don't know how I missed that one.

[ChristyB in TN]

Yes, but it has evolved to be used for 'crazy,' Kanye's original use notwithstanding :D

 

Exactly. That's awesome that you knew. :D

[ChristyB in TN]

The Krays were British gangster twins active in the 50's/60's. They were crazy. That's for sure.

 

Hilarious that we have all learned something here today. Maybe it is like a little community service keeping the fine homeschooling parents up to date on their slang so they don't go around using it incorrectly. :D

[jamajo]

I think it shows/implies an general ignorance or lack of knowledge. Basically, I can't take seriously a person who choses to speak outside the bounds of proper grammar. (Those unfamiliar with the language notwithstanding, of course.)

 

 

Really? :glare:

 

I see things so differently. Why can't a person be taken seriously just b/c their human? Someone who speaks bad grammar hasn't been taught proper grammar, is that a crime? Or if they've been taught in theory it doesn't translate if the proper grammar isn't reinforced at home or in appropriate social circles. Sometimes individuals speak properly in circles where that is expected like on the job but have to go home and fit in with relatives who fall in another circle. In this case they ARE "choosing to speak outside the bounds of proper grammar" but in a lot of cases it isn't a choice.

 

Ask me how I know!

 

Okay...I need to go to a homeschooling thread ...b/c I am getting charged.:tongue_smilie:

[Tarreymere]

I have heard it used as an insult. I have heard it used by way of expository short-hand. I have heard it used as a joke.

 

After reading this thread I am now surprised to know that people did not know the meaning of "babydaddy" and "cray-cray". I thought they were both well used standards.

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

THIS is why I probably should renew my cable subscription! Eschew popular culture long enough and simple conversation becomes incomprehensible.......

[*Lulu*]

:lol::lol::lol:

 

THIS is why I probably should renew my cable subscription! Eschew popular culture long enough and simple conversation becomes incomprehensible.......

 

Oh I don't have cable. I just spend enough time with my extended family! :tongue_smilie: