Miss Peregrine Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 to be the same sex as the student if they would be driving alone together for 2 hours? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 It would not be anything I would even think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mélie Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No. I would expect the majority of driving instructors to be men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 When my dd took driver's ed a few months ago, the male teacher asked me if one of her brothers could come along. They took turns going along with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No, but the teacher Tammy mentions probably did a prudent thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertDweller Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No. I would probably expect it to be a man. I've always thought most of them are men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 to be the same sex as the student if they would be driving alone together for 2 hours? My son has his driving instruction next week. Get this. From 6:00 am - 8:00 am every day for a week. That's is going to kill me! But there are two kids in the car - I do know that because the instructor named the other kid and asked if I know him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No, but the teacher Tammy mentions probably did a prudent thing. :iagree: Guess I always thought there was at least another student in the car too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 to be the same sex as the student if they would be driving alone together for 2 hours? I think it would be unwise on the part of the instructor to be alone with a student of the opposite sex for any period of time, whatever the class is. I'm genuinely surprised so many others responding are fine with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Most driving instructors I've known are men. My ds took driver's ed with a friend so they were always together. I don't think it'd be appropriate to have the instructor alone with one kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) My dd had a female driving instructor, but also had 3 other students in her car. I had a male teacher, one other girl and two boys in my car. Eta: In NC homeschoolers can take it through the state. They are grouped with the kids from private schools. I had to drop dd off at a private school, where all of the kids met. They left from the school. Edited July 9, 2012 by Mrs Mungo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No, but the teacher Tammy mentions probably did a prudent thing. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 When my three older kids took driver's Ed in the summer at the ps, there were two students in the car during driving. My dd took it at a private Christian school, and he drove one kid at the time. That's why he asked her to bring a brother along. He was a retired police chief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Not unless I specifically asked for a same-sex instructor or hired a specific individual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Not necessarily. When mine have done drivers ed, there is another student in the car part of the time, but not the whole time. The student who has the last time period usually drove to the next student's house for pick up. Part of the lesson was taking the last student home, and picking up the next student. At the driving school mine went to, there were five instructors. Only one was female. There is no way she could have had all of the female students on her schedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swimtaxi234 Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Before we signed my daughter up for driver's ed, I interviewed the owners of the highly recommended driving school in our town. I asked the wife (co-owner with her husband) about one-on-one driving for 2 hours with a male driver. Thankfully the lady understood my concern and told me that all of their instructors were long term employees that had all passed background checks. Plus she showed me a list of everything my daughter would be required to do during those 2 hours and the instructor's mileage is recorded from the driving school until they return. The instructor drove to our house for each of the driving sessions and picked up our daughter. There were 8 hours scheduled, but he spent extra time working on various things and he told us before he left that based on the last lesson, he wanted to work on some things from the previous session and that they might be a little late. He had our complete trust and since he was also a swim dad, we could easily relate to him and how much he wanted our daughter to succeed. On a side note, we saw a student driver on the interstate today and there were two extra students in the back seat. They were talking and I know my daughter would have found that distracting. I'm glad we had set aside the funds for this program that gave our daughter the private driving lessons. Our daughter has driven me around for the past 4 weeks and while she is a young driver (just 15-years-old), she has a nice confidence and is eager to learn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 It doesn't seem wise to ever have an unknown adult alone with a child (teen.) My dh won't drive our dc's friends home alone. I have to be with him or one or more of our dc. It isn't safe for the child/teen or the adult. :confused: Around here, near as I can tell, all driving schools have one adult and 3 students in the vehicle. It just wouldn't come up with the driver being the opposite sex and alone. I prefer it that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No. The driving school I went to as a teen didn't even have any female teachers. The best I could do was hope for the nicer male, whom I didn't get :glare: I got the jerk who screamed at me constantly every time I made a mistake and made me cry even though I told him before the first time I drove with him that I was really nervous, and unlike a lot of people this really was my very first time behind the wheel ever. I partially blame him that I was such a wreck when it came to driving that I didn't end up going for my license until I was almost 22 and pretty much had to. I took driver's ed when I was 15, so 7 years after jerk-face scarred me. I don't care if the driver's ed teacher my kids end up with is the same gender -- I just want them to be a nice, patient person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 to be the same sex as the student if they would be driving alone together for 2 hours? I specifically asked as I called around to driving schools. It mattered to me, and it mattered to my dd. In no other situation would I send my 15 1/2 year old dd into possibly remote locations, in a vehicle, alone with a stranger that was a man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Nope. My son's was a woman. He said she was like a drill sargeant. Not sexy at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Nope. Mine was one-on-one with a man. I hadn't thought about that since now. It was fine. It would not be fine with my own daughters, though. Different kids, different needs. They'd need to be together or with a group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No. I mean, they are driving, and the kid is old enough to say no if they are old enough to drive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No. I mean, they are driving, and the kid is old enough to say no if they are old enough to drive. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted July 9, 2012 Author Share Posted July 9, 2012 A little more info: Yes, they drive for a full two hours. Previous student picks up my daughter, she drives him home and then she ended her two hours at the next students home. I was taken aback when he showed up. I let my daughter go even though my insides were screaming. After she left I pretty much freaked out, crying, etc. After she returned, I grilled her. She said she felt comfortable. My DH, who is a cop, said he was fine with it. :001_huh: I just don't think it it wise, for the instructor, either. It didn't help that he looked creepy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No, but the teacher Tammy mentions probably did a prudent thing. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No I wouldn't. But when my kiddoes were taking instructions, there was always two students in the car who would take turns driving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 I assume nothing. I would prefer a female driving instructor for both boys and girls; it seems safer to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 We always had three kids in the car. We were not allowed to talk accept for answering questions about driving asked by the instructor. I don't think it wise for the instructor to be allone in yhe car with a teen. We do not have a teacher alone in the building with a private dance student for the protection of our dance instructors. However, one of the boys in the car with me one time early got into a bad wreck. The instructor used his break and we.were fine, but It was scary to be in the back with a 15 year old boy I did not know driving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 I would not think twice about it, but if I were the instructor I would be concerned, because teens lie and there would be no one there to say otherwise. Try not to worry about how he looks. Some people think my dh is creepy, because he is nearly bald, tall, and has a large frame (not fat, but a large frame), but he is such a sweety with kids and protects all kids that are around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hana Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 It would not be anything I would even think about. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 only one ever drove with a man. All 3 of the instructors my DS drove with were women. They almost always had more than one student at a time in the car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Not at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 When we took Driver's Ed, it was through the school, and it was teachers we all knew. (And for the most part, they were really cool, too!) We still had two students in the car for each driving session. Although there's probably little cause for alarm if they're certified for driving instruction... I would not have felt comfortable alone in the car with a man I didn't know well. And frankly, I wouldn't want my DS alone in a car with *anyone* we didn't know well. I think these days, it's simply prudent to have the sessions with more than one student, for the protection of both students and teachers, as others have said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No, I would not expect it. I understand why it might be a concern for the students or the parents, but I would not expect the driving school to ensure the genders of student and teacher matched. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No. My behind the wheel instructor was a man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6wishes Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 My dad is a driver's Ed teacher, has been for many years with a local school district (and has done with private companies as well). He always has kids partner up on the first day of class. Last year he had a homeschool girl, and her sister (who was not taking the class at the time) came along in the car during the driving time and was her "partner". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No. I would probably expect it to be a man. I've always thought most of them are men. WSS. No, but the teacher Tammy mentions probably did a prudent thing. Sadly I agree. Only because we live in a freakishly ridiculously paranoid society. It doesn't seem wise to ever have an unknown adult alone with a child (teen.) My dh won't drive our dc's friends home alone. I have to be with him or one or more of our dc. It isn't safe for the child/teen or the adult. :confused: Around here, near as I can tell, all driving schools have one adult and 3 students in the vehicle. It just wouldn't come up with the driver being the opposite sex and alone. I prefer it that way. :confused: Why isn't it safe? My heavens are you seriously saying the streets and people where you live are so dangerous that there is regular raping and pillaging of driving studentsby instructors?:confused::001_huh: My sons have 4 1.5 hour one on one drive sessions where we paid for them to have drivers ED. The drivers are background checked, but no one else is in the car. (No one seems to give much of a flip about the safety of sons with strangers.:001_huh:). And that's the way I want it. 2 hours with 3-4 oer students taking turns isn't much actual time behind the wheel. It didn't occur to me to request a man, but I admit to rather presuming that would be the case given it is a mostly man dominated job. Ugh. Most of the people, male or female, a teen will encounter are not out to do anyone, much less a minor harm. And being female doesn't mean she is appropriate company for my daughters or my sons. I hate how our society treats all men like potential sex offenders.:glare: :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I wouldn't expect it to be a same-sex teacher, unless I'd specifically arranged it that way. I'd expect most driving instructors to be male, though our high school had one of each sex. I would think an adult should not be in a car alone with a student, period, regardless of sex; I think that's just prudent and common sense. When I took driver's ed, there were always two students in the car; if your usual partner was out sick or something, the instructor had our schedules and could find someone who was in study hall or something during that class period to be the observer/second body. Anything else just seems unwise to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 :confused: Why isn't it safe? My heavens are you seriously saying the streets and people where you live are so dangerous that there is regular raping and pillaging of driving studentsby instructors?:confused::001_huh: :iagree:(not sure why I didn't get a quote) I live in an major metro area, and I can't imagine living my life this way. My oldest is 11 and I definitely don't think of him as an easy victim anymore. And he's small for age. Thinking back to my drivers ed, we were paired up with other young drivers too. The teacher would take out 2 of us at a time. It was through our high school and all the teachers were required to have a background check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No, I wouldn't expect it. My instructor was a male and I even drove with him alone at night. I received many of my hours driving him back and forth from games I cheered at since I was so busy. Nothing inappropriate ever happened. I was a victim of sexual abuse at a young age and I am still saddened by the worry I see in regards to any male. I hope my dds grow up and marry a male someday, so I really don't want them thinking they are all potentially harmful. I leave my eldest weekly with a male who teaches her pottery, and with a female for music. We talk constantly and she understands what's out there, but she also knows not every male or stranger is a bad person. I fully believe she would know how to handle herself at driving age, or, at least, know who to go to for help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marylou Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No. I mean, they are driving, and the kid is old enough to say no if they are old enough to drive. People with evil intent don't ask first. WSS. I hate how our society treats all men like potential sex offenders.:glare: :( Yes, most folks do not harm children, but sadly we live in a Sandusky world and must protect our gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily of the Valley Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 The driving instructors here always have at least 2 students in the car at the same time. Dd missed one of her lessons for driver's ed and had to do a make-up. The instructor told her she had to find another person to ride along with them in order to make up the lesson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 People with evil intent don't ask first. Yes, most folks do not harm children, but sadly we live in a Sandusky world and must protect our gifts. One, people with evil intent don't ask first. They also don't usually pick them up at your door with a promise to return them in 2 hours. Two, we absolutely do NOT live in a Sandusky world. We live in a beautiful awesome incredible world that a few blights on humanity prey upon. And Sandusky had a whole frikkin camp of kids to choose from. Obviously how many other kids or that they were the same sex didn't deter him at all. Thus three: This attitude is not only paranoia, it doesn't prevent tragedies from happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I think it would be unwise on the part of the instructor to be alone with a student of the opposite sex for any period of time, whatever the class is. I'm genuinely surprised so many others responding are fine with it. :iagree: Even if it's not dangerous (and I totally get the point about not suspecting all men because some are horrible), any man who would put himself in this situation in this day & time is either incredibly naive or an idiot. It only takes one accusation, legitimate or not. Why would you put yourself in that position? And from the student's/parent's perspective, again--why take the risk? It would probably be perfectly fine. But it would also be relatively easy to find an instructor who takes students in pairs or to send someone to ride along. Any instructor who objected would set off my mom radar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 My son went to a small, locally owned driver's school. I was very pleased with it so I'm sure my other kids will go to the same one if we still live here then. All of the driving instructors were male. I have one dd but it hadn't occurred to me to be concerned. When ds attended, they always had two kids in the car for the entire session- one would drive for an hour, and then they'd switch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 :iagree: Even if it's not dangerous (and I totally get the point about not suspecting all men because some are horrible), any man who would put himself in this situation in this day & time is either incredibly naive or an idiot. It only takes one accusation, legitimate or not. Why would you put yourself in that position? And from the student's/parent's perspective, again--why take the risk? It would probably be perfectly fine. But it would also be relatively easy to find an instructor who takes students in pairs or to send someone to ride along. Any instructor who objected would set off my mom radar. First, I agree it is prudent of ANY of them (male or female) to not be alone bc of idiot trouble making liars who might make accusations for whatever reason. Second, because living life is a risk worth taking. Living in fear is not much of a life even when the fears valid. It's just a waste when the fear isn't valid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 (edited) to be the same sex as the student if they would be driving alone together for 2 hours? No. I had a male driving instructor. Most driving instructors in my home country are male and the student is always the only person in the car ( no group lessons). This is a question that would never have occurred to me. ETA: I do not even understand why being the same sex is supposed to matter. Because the instructor could molest the student? And because being the same sex would prevent this from happening? This seems to me a faulty reasoning. Just think priests or coaches... Edited July 10, 2012 by regentrude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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