If your husband has a sibling.....

[Leah_in_GA]

Can you tell me about what sort of relationship he has with his siblings?

I'm curious about how adult men keep in contact with their adult siblings.

 

I have two sisters and we stay in touch (call each other at least 3x / week), and the only adult male I can ask is my husband who calls his sister (who's 18 months older than him) about once every month. My husband doesn't have a brother, so I'm also curious about whether same-gender siblings are more likely to stay in touch as adults as compared to opposite-genders. (I'm the one who just wrote the adoption thread about having to declare a gender preference for our upcoming adoption, so all this is on my mind). Again, I'm interested in how most adult men pursue how their staying-in-touch efforts compare to females in this area. I'm fairly certain it'd be less, but I'm wondering how much less. I've heard that boys/men grow up and don't stay in touch with their parents (I hope this isn't true as I have a boy:-( and I wanted to hear from others on this. Also...I've also heard that adult brothers are quite competitive and don't tend to rejoice at one another's successes as readily --- is this true in your experiences? What sort of relationship does your husband have with his sisters vs. brothers? Is it a gender thing? Is it a age gap thing? Is it a personality thing? Obviously I'm open to anything you can offer.

[Jennifer in MI]

My dh stays in great contact with his two brothers on FB, Twitter and by texts. His sister doesn't do any of those things, so we don't keep in contact with her as much.

[3browneyedboys4me]

My husband has one older sister. He talks with her maybe a 3-4 times a yr, just depends on what is going on that year. He comes from a disfunctional family..so, that is part of it. He doesn't really stay in touch with his mom either, but he does see his dad at least once every other wk. They talk and communicate the most (he was the abuser in the family...go figure!)

 

 

I guess much would depend on the family situation. :confused:

[DawnM]

Very limited to no contact with his siblings unless there is a wedding or something we go to. We just don't have much in common with them and they make no effort to stay in touch with us either.

 

Dawn

[Mommie_Jen]

My DH has 2 sisters. Somehow, he ended up being the only normal one in the family. Older sis is quite the narcissist and younger is quite the bad parent/party girl. After almost 15 yrs of marriage, they both are still slightly upset that I took their brother away from them. For real. We all live in the same small town, younger sis is just down the street. We typically only have contact with them when they need something or family get togethers at holidays.

[Laura Corin]

Husband is in email contact with his brother. They contact each other less than once a month unless there's something they particularly need to talk about. They are on good terms but rarely call each other. They are both on Facebook, but I don't know how much they keep track of what the other is doing.

 

Laura

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Well, since I have 3 brothers and 3 sisters, and dh also has 3 brothers and 3 sisters, I think I can answer this one:

 

IT ALL DEPENDS! :lol:

 

I'm in relatively regular contact with two of my brothers, that is to say I talk to them and/or see them about once a month. My other brother is an egghead academic and is probably an Aspie or something. I talk to him about twice a year. Now, with my sisters, it's completely different. One of them lives with me, so I talk to her every day. One lives far away, but I talk to her at least 5 times a week. One lives a couple of hours away, but doesn't like to talk on the phone, so we talk about once a month, usually for a long time.

 

One of dh's brothers lives in Taiwan, so they email occasionally, and he comes home to visit every other year. Another brother lives far away, and they talk maybe once a month on the phone- just hi, how are you, nothing deep. The third brother and dh are very close. They have a lot in common and have been on a fantasy baseball league together for many years. During baseball season, they talk every day. During the rest of the year, they talk about once a week. This brother also lives 1/2 hour away, so we see him and his family frequently. One of dh's sisters goes in phases where she doesn't talk to ANYBODY in the family, so I think it's been about a year since dh talked to her. The other sister calls him frequently and shows up randomly at our house- so I'd say they have contact at least once a week. The third sister lives about 1 block away from us, so we also see her frequently, and dh probably talks to her on the phone about once a month.

[RebeccaS]

Dh has three sisters (both older and younger than him). He keeps in touch via Facebook which means liking or commenting on the occasional post.

[2_girls_mommy]

Yes, my dh's relationships with his siblings are very different from mine with mine too.

 

Mine has 3 living siblings, 2 sisters and 1 brother. All live in another state. He talks on the phone with them mostly for holidays and bdays. They call about things they need to discuss more often only when necessary. We have been together 17 years and I have met his brother 2 times and the sisters slightly more often. They do keep up on Facebook. In his defense, they do live quite far and we couldn't travel for holidays like we do to my family if he wanted to. I am sure we would at least see them for major holidays if they were closer. But if it was my family, I would arrange a vacation visit once every few years. This is where we differ. It does not seem to be a priority to him.

[besroma]

My husband has two brothers and two sisters. One set of brothers interacts pretty frequently. One of the brothers in that set interacts a lot with one of the sisters he is close in age to, but infrequently with the other sister. The sisters interact frequently. This is likely confusing with so many siblings to discuss.

 

For them, it comes down to their relationship with one another, not gender.

 

I interact with my sister often, even though we live very different lives. But, I would do that a lot less if I didn't like her as a person. Gender would not be a factor for us.

 

I'm sorry you are having to make a choice....how difficult!

 

Oh, and my husband has a good relationship with his mother and keeps in touch with her on a regular basis.;)

[Farrar]

Dh has a sister. They're not talk on the phone all the time super close and sometimes she needles him as if they were both little kids still, which drives him a bit mad, but they both love and care about each other greatly and make efforts to see each other a few times a year (they live far away). And we adore her dc as well.

[catz]

DH has 2 brothers and a sister and isn't particularly close to any of them. He keeps in touch mostly through his parents organizing get togethers on a regular basis.

 

I have one brother. I was super close to him until he married someone who has no interest in our family (unless we're providing free child care at their convenience). Now I'm not close to him or his kids.

[sparrow]

Dh has one sister that is 2 years older. They don't have a bad relationship, but they don't keep in contact either. They talk and/or see each other about 2-3 times per year.

[Pippen]

My husband's sister lives 45 minutes away and he talks to her only occasionally outside of family get togethers.

 

My brother lives several states away and until recently I've talked with him at least once a week by phone for years.

[*Inna*]

Well, my husband has 3 brothers and 2 sisters and most of the communications with them and their families are on me. I keep in touch, call and visit and he gets the report. ;)

 

The only times the brothers call each other are when they need something.

 

We all live in the same town, by the way.

[LaxMom]

Mine has a younger sister and younger brother. He isn't in regular contact with either of them. In fact, though he talked to his brother a couple weeks before Easter, I found out about the birth of his niece quite by accident when I logged onto FB for something entirely different.

 

I have no siblings and choose not to have contact with my (highly toxic, narcissistic) mother. My dad and I talk pretty much every week, or at least play phone tag.

[ssavings]

DH had 4 brothers and 2 sisters. He talks to one of brothers about monthly, one about 2 times a year, and rarely to the other 2. He talks to his sisters about every 2 months (because they make an effort to call him).

[HappyCrazyMama]

My dh has a brother and a sister he talks to his sister every couple of months at most. His brother recently moved nearby so we talk to him every week or two but for the first 15+ years we were married they sometimes went years without talking (but no ill will between them). In contrast I nearly never call my sister (as in not even every year) but occasionally FB and always see her when I visit my parents. No ill will there either but I'm not much for the telephone and we are seven years apart and I'm the older, idk if that makes a difference as well. All that to say I don't think it is a gender thing at all. Just family dynamics. I love my sister and we have never had ill will but we also don't have much in common and I can't say we've ever been close.:)

[Heather in Neverland]

My dh has one sister. They have never really gotten along. They are civil and polite to one another but rarely have contact... Mostly birthdays and holidays.

[Rosie_0801]

Dh's sister lives on the other side of the country and neither of us mind. :) He loves her, doesn't like her, rings on her birthday and not much more. When their father died, she expressed a desire to socialise so her kids could know their cousins. Dh thought about their little family culture, thought about our little family culture and pronounced it impossible. It was probably emotion talking though. She lives on the other side of the country and only comes down here a few times a year as it is, and chooses to see dh maybe one of those times. He always thinks he wants to see her, then comes home frustrated because she's still her.

 

Dh is always happy to see my brother though. :)

 

Rosie

Edited April 25, 2012 by Rosie_0801

[KS_]

My dh has only half-siblings - one sister he grew up with that's 5 years younger than him and although they kept in touch much more often 10 to 15 years ago, she's made some very bad decisions and is usually strung-out and they don't talk much at all.

 

His other half-siblings (one brother and 2 sisters) he talks to rarely. There's no bad blood or anything between them, just they don't make the effort and neither does he. One lives in town and 2 are about 5 hours away. They didn't grow up together, so it's really only as adults that they've started to develop much of a relationship.

[LMD]

DH has an older sister and younger brother. We all live in fairly close proximity to each other and to their parents, so we have family get togethers (lunch at in-laws) pretty regularly and all see each other then. DH & his sister have a love/hate relationship - they love each other but they are very different and both strong personalities! I am fairly close to her and see her often, our children get along famously. DH is not much of a chat on the phone person, so they don't call each other unless it's for a specific purpose - DH is like this with anyone though.

 

His brother is quite a bit younger, they message each other sometimes. They got along well as kids and are still finding their way as adults.

[Tap]

Can you tell me about what sort of relationship he has with his siblings?

I'm curious about how adult men keep in contact with their adult siblings.

 

I have two sisters and we stay in touch (call each other at least 3x / week), and the only adult male I can ask is my husband who calls his sister (who's 18 months older than him) about once every month. My husband doesn't have a brother, so I'm also curious about whether same-gender siblings are more likely to stay in touch as adults as compared to opposite-genders. (I'm the one who just wrote the adoption thread about having to declare a gender preference for our upcoming adoption, so all this is on my mind). Again, I'm interested in how most adult men pursue how their staying-in-touch efforts compare to females in this area. I'm fairly certain it'd be less, but I'm wondering how much less. I've heard that boys/men grow up and don't stay in touch with their parents (I hope this isn't true as I have a boy:-( and I wanted to hear from others on this. Also...I've also heard that adult brothers are quite competitive and don't tend to rejoice at one another's successes as readily --- is this true in your experiences? What sort of relationship does your husband have with his sisters vs. brothers? Is it a gender thing? Is it a age gap thing? Is it a personality thing? Obviously I'm open to anything you can offer.

 

 

Dh talks to younger brother once every few months on the phone. (2-3 times per year-unlesss something is going on to necessitate contact)

Dh talks to older brother only when he sees him at his mothers home, every 6mths or so. (there have been years in between contact at various points).

Dh talks to his step sister every 4-6 weeks BUT she is his barber and is the only one who lives in town. Before she started cutting his hair, there were gaps of several years.

 

I do not talk to any of my 7 living siblings on purpose. If one of them answers the phone at my mothers, we will chat for a bit, but don't keep in contact otherwise. I am not like my family and really have nothing in common with them.

[elinnea]

Dh has an older (by 16 months) sister who lives in another country. They perhaps see each other once a year at their parents' house and that is it. We used to have more to do with her but the relationship is so one-sided and when she didn't congratulate us or even acknowledge it when dd was born I refused to have anything more to do with her.

[Jeannie in NJ]

dh has 2 sisters, one a couple of years older than him and one 11 months younger. He gets along very well with them and I love them both a lot (have known them about 30 years). Dh's parents are both deceased. His sisters and their adult dc and infant and toddler grandchildren all live within 2 to 5 min. of each other and we live the longest away at 15 min. in fact, we are looking at houses closer to all of them, we want to live just a couple of min. away as we are always over at one or the others's houses. We have gone on vacation (cruise, Disney, local spots) with all of them. My dc are great friends with thir cousins. Just last week, 14 of us went out to dinner. We are very blessed and are well aware of that. Now my siblings, no contac at all, that is another story.

[Leah_in_GA]

Goodness my own thread is depressing me. It sounds like, for the majority, siblings become more irrelevant to a person after one leaves home.

I hope this is not as much the case among homeschooled siblings who grow up spending much more time together.

 

Makes me sad when I think there might be less hope for my almost 7 year old son and his almost-here new (and his only) sibling as far as having much in common as kiddos (given the gap) or, worse, once grown! booooooohooooooooo...............darn infertility!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

 

 

 

Still curious to hear from more of you on this matter.:bigear:

 

 

 

:leaving:(off to mope).

Edited April 25, 2012 by Leah_in_GA

[TGHEALTHYMOM]

My dh is the youngest of 11!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

He is a people person and has rose colored glasses..:001_smile:

 

I am glad he introduced me to all of his living relatives he could, and some have passed since we married.

 

I think it is hard with him and his brothers working so much, and his 2 local brothers see him at Walmart, come and go rabbit hunting on occasion, and 1 drops in a few times a year with his wife to visit.

 

We don't go visit much due to our larger family and lack of time. But my dh is much older than me too. We also have his sister with mental illness to help and she is a Christian, but some family have black balled her and she has hurt all of us, but we forgive her. We both have to set boundaries.

 

It is a great thing when any of them come to visit us!

 

The other day, we all went to look at houses and I thought my dh got lost in the gas station ( store), but he had run into a nephew and was talking ;)

[KidsHappen]

DH has six siblings. He talks to three of his brothers on a regular although not terribly frequent basis. His other brother not so much. He talks to one of his sisters occassionaly and the other not at all. They all keep in touch with their mother and help provide for her. He also keeps in touch with his father.

 

My younger brother keeps in touch with all of his siblings on a very regular basis whereas I only keep in touch with him.

[catz]

Goodness my own thread is depressing me. It sounds like, for the majority, siblings become more irrelevant to a person after one leaves home.

 

I think it's more personality and lifestyle choices in adulthood, than gender or parenting based. I hope my kids are close when they grow up, but I'm not going to beat myself up if they aren't.

[Tasia]

My Dh has four younger siblings - one sister and three brothers. When he left Austria and moved to the US, he was 19 and his siblings were 17, 15, 7 and 5. His sister and one of his brothers live in Toronto and visit us every summer. We go to Toronto about once a year as well. Between visits, Dh keeps in contact with his sister through phone calls a couple of times per month. He doesn't really communicate with his brother except through his sister. His youngest brother still lives in Austria and Dh very rarely talks to him. Even when we visit Dh's parents, he doesn't go out of his way to spend time with us or get to know me or our kids. On the other hand, Dh's closest brother (in age) lives in London and Dh is in constant contact with him through e-mail, texts and phone calls. He has a son the same age as our oldest and has a similar profession to Dh, so they always have lots to talk about and keep up with. Even when we can't take a family trip to see this brother, Dh makes arrangements to see him at least once a year.

 

It's hard to compare my relationships with my sisters to Dh's relationships with his siblings. All my sisters live within a 20-mile radius of us and one is my best friend, while I'm fairly close with the other two.

[Rosie_0801]

Goodness my own thread is depressing me. It sounds like, for the majority, siblings become more irrelevant to a person after one leaves home.

 

"Close" isn't the only type of relationship that has value.

 

:grouphug:

 

:)

Rosie

[TheReader]

I really think it depends on personalities, family culture, etc. of all involved.

 

For instance, in our case, I have one sister, 3.5 yrs younger than me. She and I barely keep in touch except for what the other posts in FB and the occasional note back & forth.

 

My husband, though, has 1 sister, 4.5 yrs younger than him. They email several times/week and call once/week or so, on average.

 

When we lived in close proximity to these people (we live in Brazil, the family is all in Texas) we rarely saw my sister except perhaps at children's birthday parties, if we were near enough for that, and family gatherings. Whereas, we saw my husband's sister once/month, minimum, as we would all gather for a Saturday get-together at their mom's house.

 

As far as parents, my husband emails & calls his mom roughly as often as he emails/calls his sister; they are a very close-knit family. I email my mom 2 or 3 times/week at best, and call once every 2 weeks on average. For myself and my dad, it varies.

 

Other men I know with siblings have varied relationships. My father talks on the phone at least weekly to both his brother (~18 months younger) and his sister (~5 yrs younger), as well as with his parents. A good friend sees his siblings often and is very close with them. Another talks to his siblings often, but they are geographically spread out so they don't see each other much. Still others have far less frequent contact.

 

It really depends on family relationships and how those are cultivated, more so than gender. At least, that's been my experience.

[Vanna]

Can you tell me about what sort of relationship he has with his siblings?

I'm curious about how adult men keep in contact with their adult siblings.

 

I have two sisters and we stay in touch (call each other at least 3x / week), and the only adult male I can ask is my husband who calls his sister (who's 18 months older than him) about once every month. My husband doesn't have a brother, so I'm also curious about whether same-gender siblings are more likely to stay in touch as adults as compared to opposite-genders. (I'm the one who just wrote the adoption thread about having to declare a gender preference for our upcoming adoption, so all this is on my mind). Again, I'm interested in how most adult men pursue how their staying-in-touch efforts compare to females in this area. I'm fairly certain it'd be less, but I'm wondering how much less. I've heard that boys/men grow up and don't stay in touch with their parents (I hope this isn't true as I have a boy:-( and I wanted to hear from others on this. Also...I've also heard that adult brothers are quite competitive and don't tend to rejoice at one another's successes as readily --- is this true in your experiences? What sort of relationship does your husband have with his sisters vs. brothers? Is it a gender thing? Is it a age gap thing? Is it a personality thing? Obviously I'm open to anything you can offer.

My dh has only has a brother (3 yrs. older) and they have a close relationship compared to me and my siblings (but this, I believe is from having totally different family dynamics: culturally, financially, quantity, etc.).

 

He and his brother exchange birthday cards and call each other about 1-2x/month. His brother (and bro's wife) have even come to visit us to celebrate his b'day (well, and maybe mine and 2/3 of our children -- all born in the same month):blushing:. We live 3 hrs drive (or optional ferry ride) from each other. When we're all together for holiday gatherings, those two are like "kids" together -- laughing, joking, spoofing, quoting movie lines together -- it's really something. I don't think there are many adult men like these two.

Edited April 26, 2012 by Vanna

[Julie Smith]

Considering your thread title:

 

If your husband has a sibling.....

 

I expected your question to be like this:

 

If your husband has a sibling, and that sibling has a sister, and that sister has a brother, and all the siblings have a cat, and one of those cats has kittens then how many felines are in the house.

 

 

My brother does not stay in contact with his sister unless it's online. skype, email kind of thing. They only talk on the phone if there is a reason to do so. He talks to his Dad on the phone every few months and sees him when it is set up by others. His Mother died years ago. The whole family is known for not being good at staying in touch, and being very awful planners for events. (Every arranging getting together...)

[nancypantsgirl]

My husband has one brother and they probably only talk once a year.

[HLDoll]

My husband and his brother never call each other. Ever. We see his brother maybe once or twice a year when we visit his parents, and they are cordial to each other, but they never seek contact. They did not get along growing up. My three brothers, however, talk to and text each other frequently, I'd say several times a week. I'm in contact with them fairly frequently, too. I see two of them a several times a month, text occasionally, and talk to the out of stater once a week or so.

[T'smom]

Dh is one in a set of triplets. (not identical- all boys) He's much closer to one brother than the other, but they are very similar- they play baseball together and are in the same fantasy league and are always calling each other......but their conversations revolve mostly around sports. We live close to both brothers, but we spend a lot more time with the one. (This too, revolves around sports- since our husbands are busy playing baseball, SIL and I hang out and the kids play....then we often have dinner or something after) We have kids the same age- we camp at the same campgrounds.....we just have a lot in common. The other one we only see at family functions. There is no animosity- just not much in common.

 

I don't talk to my bro much. He's much younger, very busy, lives far away and works odd hours. But, we love (and like!) each other very much and it's easy to pick up where we left off when we do see each other (3-4X/year). My sis and I communicate more often, (maybe every 2 weeks) but we also live far away from each other.

 

I am making an effort to foster a good relationship between siblings in my kids. I really hope that they are close as adults. My SIL and I also make an effort to have our kids (cousins) develop a relationship that will continue all of their lives.

[Kathryn]

He has a sister, younger by two years. they lived together through their parents divorce until his sister broke up their mom's second marriage and left to go attempt to break up their father's second marriage. Then some more stuff happened, too much to type on the iPad. Anyway, they didn't talk for a long time, she eventually got her stuff together and he now talks to her when she calls every few months or so.

[Dustybug]

My DH has two younger sisters and he talks to them regularly. One lives about 10 minutes away and the other lives about 15. The one that lives 10 minutes away works with him as well, so they see each other frequently. My MIL and FIL live 5 minutes away and there are family gatherings often.

 

I, on the other hand, only talk to my brother on occasion. BUT he's 6 hours away and nearly 10 years younger than I am.

[Puma Mom]

Dh has one older brother E, a younger brother J, and a younger sister T. He speaks to E a couple times a year, other than Christmas when we see them. He hardly ever speaks to J, and we might see them once a year. (OTOH, we are close with J's ex-wife so that might be part of the problem. For him.)

 

He is very close to his sister T. She is 14 years younger and lived with us in the summers from age 12 to 21 or so. She just moved to the other side of the country for us, so that's rough but he probably speaks to her a few times a month.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Goodness my own thread is depressing me. It sounds like, for the majority, siblings become more irrelevant to a person after one leaves home.

I hope this is not as much the case among homeschooled siblings who grow up spending much more time together.

 

Makes me sad when I think there might be less hope for my almost 7 year old son and his almost-here new (and his only) sibling as far as having much in common as kiddos (given the gap) or, worse, once grown! booooooohooooooooo...............darn infertility!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

 

 

 

Still curious to hear from more of you on this matter.:bigear:

 

 

 

:leaving:(off to mope).

 

 

Just wanted to comment on the age gap. The brother that dh is closest to and does the baseball thing with is 13 years younger than he is. The sister that lives with me and has the most in common with me is 8 years younger than me. The age difference sort of goes away when you're adults. That's the one thing I wouldn't worry about.

[Julie Smith]

Just wanted to comment on the age gap. The brother that dh is closest to and does the baseball thing with is 13 years younger than he is. The sister that lives with me and has the most in common with me is 8 years younger than me. The age difference sort of goes away when you're adults. That's the one thing I wouldn't worry about.

 

If it makes you feel better my husband and sister where never really close. He was also not close to his parents. So it's not as if they grew apart, he just moved away.

[Tess in the Burbs]

My dh has no relationship with his sister. They are 5 years apart. They had little relationship when I met him in college. They never speak. We used to send the kids birthday presents but it was all us sending stuff. They have no interest in ever calling us, sending gifts. I finally decided if they don't want to talk ever why send a gift or card or call? Sure enough after years of us not sending anything the response is the same....nothing.

 

However, my own sister and I don't talk regularly either. We were less than 2 years apart but were so completely opposite personalities we had very little to do with each other growing up. When the parents divorced we each chose one and didn't live together anymore. We were both happier that way. We have spells where we talk. But she's still pretty messed up, trying to get her life going right, and has told me my little stay at home with the kids gig is sickening. :001_huh: So while I try to text to maintain interest we can go years without seeing each other and only speaking a few times. Because of her life choices she's not stable every few years and I just don't want to deal with the explanations to our kids. While they think she's a neat relative I don't allow a lot of interaction to protect them.

 

So dh and I feel like only kids. We never see our siblings. I may see my sister this summer. I am driving 8 hours to visit my dad. If she can muster up the ability to drive 2 hours to see us there we will see each other. But if not, then we won't.

 

I say all this b/c holidays are very different for us. We never see dh's family ever. Unless there is a funeral. And we don't feel welcome when we do go. His parents show up once a year with presents from the past year(all birthdays/christmas). Then nothing for a year.

 

My own family has split off. Mom sees me on Christmas b/c I have kids. My sister sees her inlaws(in same town) or goes to my Dad's. She is anti-holiday so often she is home alone by choice. So our family holidays are usually us and one of my parents. My dad usually shows up for Turkey Day. It's small but it works.

 

Siblings are overrated in our opinions, lol :tongue_smilie::lol:

[sassenach]

Can you tell me about what sort of relationship he has with his siblings?

I'm curious about how adult men keep in contact with their adult siblings.

 

I have two sisters and we stay in touch (call each other at least 3x / week), and the only adult male I can ask is my husband who calls his sister (who's 18 months older than him) about once every month. My husband doesn't have a brother, so I'm also curious about whether same-gender siblings are more likely to stay in touch as adults as compared to opposite-genders. (I'm the one who just wrote the adoption thread about having to declare a gender preference for our upcoming adoption, so all this is on my mind). Again, I'm interested in how most adult men pursue how their staying-in-touch efforts compare to females in this area. I'm fairly certain it'd be less, but I'm wondering how much less. I've heard that boys/men grow up and don't stay in touch with their parents (I hope this isn't true as I have a boy:-( and I wanted to hear from others on this. Also...I've also heard that adult brothers are quite competitive and don't tend to rejoice at one another's successes as readily --- is this true in your experiences? What sort of relationship does your husband have with his sisters vs. brothers? Is it a gender thing? Is it a age gap thing? Is it a personality thing? Obviously I'm open to anything you can offer.

 

Dh has almost zero contact with his siblings. He has 2 older half siblings that he's never had much of a relationship with. His half brother was estranged from the family for years. I didn't even meet him for the first time until we had been married for 10 years. Dh's full brother has schizophrenia, and is often off the grid. We see them if we go to a family gathering (we haven't for about 3 years now).

[Mama Anna]

Honestly? Through his mother. Dh calls his mother 1-2 x/mo. and hears what's going on in the lives of his six siblings. I carefully stay in touch with one of his sisters and one of his sils. We see them 1-2x/year, when we inevitably wonder why we've taken the trouble - our lives are (for the most part) very different from theirs.

 

FWIW, I don't do much better. I contact one brother a few times a year, see another one a couple times a year (by communicating with his wife), and rarely say much to the third. Additionally, we all get together 1-2x/year as well. I have fairly good relationships with my brothers - especially the ones I stay in touch with least! :tongue_smilie: I've figured before that the ball is in my court communication-wise either because I'm the "talkative girl" in the situation or because I care more.

 

I don't think my brothers have too much contact with each other now that they all live in different states. When two of them lived near each other they were constantly together.

 

Does that help?

 

Mama Anna

[Night Elf]

DH talks to siblings when we visit the ILs once a year. Otherwise I keep up with them through FB and share news as necessary.

 

The other brothers stay in contact with each other on a regular basis. They all exhibit a brotherly type of relationship. They are super nice to DH and like him, but their affections for each other and not DH are very noticeable.

[m0mmaBuck]

DH has one younger brother. They talk every few months. It's not that they don't get along. It's just that everyone is busy, we live on opposite sides of the country, and really there just isn't much to talk about.

 

I have 5 siblings (3 brothers, 2 sisters). We all get along very well but don't talk often (maybe every other month unless something is going on). We email back and forth occasionally. My kids send letters to my one brother's kids (who are about the same age). That's about it.

[Krista in LA]

My dh has one sister. He probably calls her more than she calls him, but typically only around holidays and birthdays. She lives in IL and we are in LA, and they have only come to visit us once in 14 years since we moved here. When we have gone to visit them, they make us stay in a hotel instead of at their house, so we decided it isn't worth the bother to visit.

 

My db and I talk more often - probably around once a month unless either of us has something else going on where we talk more often, near holidays when we need to know what to buy for nieces and nephews, or if we are planning a trip to see each other since he lives in PA. I don't ever talk to my sisters anymore, but those relationships have always been strained and it's a relief to not have them call me. Personally, I can't imagine calling anyone more than once a week unless I needed to know something or there was something major going on in our lives like when my nephew was born at 26 weeks and my db needed lots of support and I wanted to keep updated on things. We talked most days for a while at that time.

[tristangrace]

My husband has two sisters. He doesn't do much to initiate contact with either one (they both live far away, and it's kind of out of sight, out of mind).

[PaigeP]

My husband is an only child but calls my siblings every now and then:).