Oh my word! I am SO lame!! I never came back to update! ((sigh)) HE GOT THE JOB! He's been at it since January and loves it! Woohoo! Please forgive me for totally forgetting to come back and update! I'm lame.

My husband has one brother and they probably only talk once a year.

Oh the humanity!! :banghead:

Fresh Sugar. Sold at Sephora. So lovely.

And :iagree: with her! :D

June Jenni Sunny Bonnie

Everything! :tongue_smilie:

Sadly, it doesn't surprise me at all because that is what they throw at women all of the time now. You could have any number of legitimate illnesses or conditions and they would immediately jump to, "you need to be on anti-depressants." I know because this happened to me after a miserable virus left me with some lasting neurological side effects that were severe enough to cause me to be unable to fall asleep naturally (propriospinal myoclonus of sleep onset). No doctor would really listen to me for over a year. More than one figured I had suddenly developed sleep apnea, another figured I had an anxiety disorder (I have had approx. three panic attacks in my life. One was in a blizzard. One was not even a full on panic attack but just a near one because of severe vertigo - the main symptom of the virus I had. The other was in college and purely stress related.) My stress levels were certainly higher simply for the lack of sleep and the complete disregard with which I was treated by the medical community) and still another Dr. (the worst of all because she was my own beloved family doctor) told me that I "just needed to think differently about sleep," even though I had spoken to her a handful of times over the few years previously about recurring sleep disturbances that would come and go at random. Antidepressants were suggested. But I was adamant. "I am not depressed!! I'm discouraged because no one will listen to me!" I had done enough research (during many, many, many sleepless tear-filled nights) to know just what I had and what medication would actually treat the myoclonic jerks. But I went through four regular physicians, a sleep physician (my symptoms did not appear, unfortunately, on the night I went for my sleep clinic) and two neurologists before the second neurologist finally LISTENED completely. Really listened and prescribed the right medication. One night after starting the medication, my symptoms were almost non-existent. All that to say that more than once the idea of anti-depressants was thrown at me and I was unwilling. The sleep Dr. had prescribed a very small dose of one at bedtime because of its "sleepy" side effects but it made me feel horrible and I didn't really need to feel more sleepy. I needed an anti-seizure sort of medication. I absolutely hate it that I still have to be on this medication as it is a major bummer to get off of if I ever find that my symptoms are really gone (which I can only discover rightly after getting off of the medication and going through withdrawal... what a picnic!) But I prefer to have my actual malady treated and to get sleep (not sleeping will most definitely bring you to the very edge of sanity) than to have a doctor assume I'm just not coping well because I happen to have four kids. I kid you not, the minute I told any doctor that I had four sons whom I homeschooled they were practically running for the Rx pad. :banghead: That's my long version of: No, I'm not surprised. It makes me angry. This is not to say that I don't believe anyone should be on them. But I do believe that it's an insult to women to always assume that their symptoms are of a psychological nature rather than a physical one.

Same with some of the questions on a practice test for the California STAR tests. Only it was a second grade test. I thought, there is no way a second grader could manage this without crumpling up and crying (or being a good sport and guessing a ton of them). The one that boggled my mind was something in the realm of: "Which of the following equations does not equal less than 12?" And then it of course gave them four problems that they would have to work out and then figure out (using that wonderful negative language that 2nd graders are SO adept at understanding and making sense of after they just solved four problems for one test question). I was so unnerved when I read through the test booklet... still am. I'm just as annoyed with the other levels as well. I had the opportunity to speak with a former educator who once worked at writing state tests and after I spoke my suspicions that few of them actually worked with children but rather sat in rooms thinking about what kids should know in order to compete with China, she heartily agreed with me!

Saw this on Twitter earlier today. Awesome. Bang on.

I'm a pretty hands off mom. Probably to the point where I feel guilty that I am not "mommish" enough. I don't dote. I mean, we laugh and hug and joke and I kiss them goodnight. But they make their own breakfast. They make their own lunches. They have to clean up after themselves (though I must often remind them). They have days assigned when they do the dishes. They know how to cook (eggs are their specialty). They run their own laundry -- beginning to end (again, many reminders are needed and their room sometimes looks like a meteor struck). They clean their own bathroom. They scoop the dog poop and the kitty litter (although those are paid positions). I suppose it all sprung up a few years ago when I decided it was a foolish waste of my time to match peoples' socks. It's been "downhill" from the great sock awakening. Or should I say uphill? I'm fairly sure they will be better off having been so independent as children. Sometimes I know that I let them do these things on their own out of at least a small bit of selfishness (and sometimes a lot) in the desire to just not be responsible to be all things to all people all of the time. Other times (I'd say it's probably 50/50) I am quite sure that I am doing it purely for their good. When they have a problem, I don't jump to extricate them from it (unless they are really physically stuck. I'm not that mean. :lol: ) They have to squirm. They have to wrack their brains. They have to create new neural pathways. They won't do that if I just jump in and do it for them. Sometimes this means a messy showdown. Sometimes (who am I kidding... every time) one of my sons would much rather have me give him the words to say for a paragraph he is supposed to be writing and I instead let him sit there for an hour or so if that's how long it takes for him to decide it is worth his effort to just do it himself and get it over with. So I don't know that I have a particular method except actually being busy with other things so that they realize that I am not always going to be "johnny on the spot" when they beckon me.

It's possible that she is simply overwhelmed with life. I have no idea what her situation is obviously but I can tell you that I have gone from the initiator -- with many people and very frequently -- to the one who hardly does anything or calls anyone because my life is so chaotic I can barely manage to keep my sanity on some days. Who knows the reason.... I do understand your frustration. I've been on your end of this situation. And the person I was frustrated with was not working full-time and had no children and I knew that she could have done more to encourage our friendship. As it is, since it was all one sided, when my life became the way it currently is (after we moved away) we have not kept in touch at all. So I do know how that feels... it hurts. If you aren't really sure though that she's not, like me, under some sort of heavy burden (or several) just keep on loving her and being her friend even though she may not have the energy, forethought, togetherness or whatever to be able to initiate.

Thanks again to everyone who chimed in. This has been so helpful. It's the *real* stuff that you want to know that you can't seem to find on a regular Google search... stuff that other moms/homeschoolers, etc. would know. You all are the best! AND (while I must reiterate that we still are unsure as to whether or not he will even get the job) the winner is Practicality over My LOVE for deciduous trees. Phoenix would be the winner. Theoretically. You know I'll update you all when I know if we'll be moving because I'm going to need to make some connections!!

LOL This post really spoke to me. I lived for 7 years in Calgary, AB. Snow was my life. I was thinking, "Meh... I could handle a snow storm now and then as long as spring comes before mid-June!" :lol: Realistically... everything you said is what we have been considering. The commute especially. We looked at condos also. We like walkable neighborhoods, etc. I am not really opposed to high rise living... it would be a challenge with four (LOUD) boys. Our poor downstairs neighbors would hate our ever-lovin' guts! :tongue_smilie: And I can't contemplate only one parking spot... we would need two cars. Oy vey. Much as I fear moving to an extreme climate again (these two years back home in the SF bay area have been lovely), I have a feeling that AZ is looking more and more like the direction we'd go. IF! IF! IF! He gets the job. LOL This board is the best for a girl who likes to overthink things on the front end. :grouphug: