She did tell me about this...that she got her period back when he was 11 months old. All this is what has kept her from doing so. She keeps bringing up the whole Sarai sending Abraham in with Ishmael's mom (whats her name) and what mess came of that. Deep emotional pain drives many people to do things that they wouldn't otherwise. I've been looking looking at these boards for years and just now got internet in my home to join. Now what are the rules? If you've got 0 - 10 posts you can ask a level 1 question. If 10 - 50 posts then you can ask a level 2 question. If 20 - 100, a level 3. I guess if I post 200+ times (even if its a mere icon), I'll be mature enough on here to ask a question on behalf of a friend who doesn't have internet access. Please direct me to these rules so I can avoid freshman postings. His reasons mostly have to do with his age and the nature of his work which zaps him mentally and he just doesn't think he'd have a drop more to give if he added to their family. I just called her with the responses. She cried as she spoke and said she knew this was the right thing (not to do this). She says she's going to fast about it for one day per week and ask him for the last time in a few months. Thanks all for the replies.

I have a friend who's strongly considering tricking her husband into making a baby with her. She asked me my opinion on the subject and because of the circumstances, it wasn't quite so clear cut to me. Here's their scoop. They are both 36 years old now. She has one son who is age 4. Got pregnant with him the first time they tried for a baby, so no apparent fertility problems. Since his birth, they've do NFP for birth control wih co_doms during her fertile time (and since she keeps up with it she knows she can easily tweek it where they'd conceive). The husband wanted to aim for another baby when that child was 6 months old. Husband wanted close-in-age babies mostly because he thought they were too old to be having babies. They'd been married 6 years and didn't start having babies earlier because he was in school and she wanted to be a SAHM and couldn't any earlier thus the waiting 6 years to have child 1. Their baby boy was a tough baby. He was born by c/ a month early, then he had colic his first 4 months, then her mom's cancer came back when he was 3 months old, and she was demand breastfeeding him. So, my friend said she was too emotionally and physically too tired when he was 6 months old to try to conceive a sibling. So, the husband gave her until he was 1 and said that if they don't conceive by the time he's one, then he'd be an only. Well, she said with her mother and his not sleeping through the night (he slept through the night the first time when he was 2 and a half years), she just couldn't do it. Well, now that he's just turned 4 and her mother has passed, she's ready for another and wants one but husband says no (she's asked to have another for over a year now). Now keep in mind that they are both in excellent health. The husband is a wonderful man -- he's a great dad and when he's not at work, he's at home with them and loves and serves them both. She says she knows that he'd love the baby and that he'd think he/she was another blessing once they conceived, but yet she feels guilty. I asked her if she'd had a long, frank talk to him about how much she wants this. She says that she has but that he's adamant. I've seen him with them both and IMO it's just a shame that they don't have more children. What do you think?

No, I asked the rep that. But, I had asked my son and he told me this morning, "I thought about it a lot while I was in bed last night, and I know want a precious little baby sister." (his exact words) ---- so that's likely what we'll go with! I have a few fears to overcome with having a girl (naming about my sister's two daughters will be 5 and 7 years older than our baby and these neices are on, in my opinion, a bad track (early interest in boys/provocative dancing/bad role models (Lady Gaga) and I just worry about my daughter being influenced by them. They live 1 hour away and we see them at least monthly. That was the main thing I worried about with having a girl. I thought that by my having the boys and my sisters having all girls (both my sisters have all girls and are finished having children), that'd it solve a multitude of issues within my family, but.......alas, it may not be that simple. Thanks all for the advice and encouragement.

:confused: I am going to have to pick a gender for the rep to deem it as completed application but I am going to write in that we're open to whichever beside the box. But, our rep did say that most people are matched with what they've marked thus it makes the gender issue one we have to mull over more. Thanks for all the how to handle the application advice, but what I'm seeking is more about the gender choice question --- which gender you might lean towards and why. I did ask my son last night and he said he'd be happy either way. :bigear:

Goodness my own thread is depressing me. It sounds like, for the majority, siblings become more irrelevant to a person after one leaves home. I hope this is not as much the case among homeschooled siblings who grow up spending much more time together. Makes me sad when I think there might be less hope for my almost 7 year old son and his almost-here new (and his only) sibling as far as having much in common as kiddos (given the gap) or, worse, once grown! booooooohooooooooo...............darn infertility!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Still curious to hear from more of you on this matter.:bigear: :leaving:(off to mope).

Can you tell me about what sort of relationship he has with his siblings? I'm curious about how adult men keep in contact with their adult siblings. I have two sisters and we stay in touch (call each other at least 3x / week), and the only adult male I can ask is my husband who calls his sister (who's 18 months older than him) about once every month. My husband doesn't have a brother, so I'm also curious about whether same-gender siblings are more likely to stay in touch as adults as compared to opposite-genders. (I'm the one who just wrote the adoption thread about having to declare a gender preference for our upcoming adoption, so all this is on my mind). Again, I'm interested in how most adult men pursue how their staying-in-touch efforts compare to females in this area. I'm fairly certain it'd be less, but I'm wondering how much less. I've heard that boys/men grow up and don't stay in touch with their parents (I hope this isn't true as I have a boy:-( and I wanted to hear from others on this. Also...I've also heard that adult brothers are quite competitive and don't tend to rejoice at one another's successes as readily --- is this true in your experiences? What sort of relationship does your husband have with his sisters vs. brothers? Is it a gender thing? Is it a age gap thing? Is it a personality thing? Obviously I'm open to anything you can offer.

The agency rep just made it about completing the application and said that one doesn't always get the specified gender, thus the wording of "gender preference", but she said that they do try to honor what is marked.

My husband and I are faced with a mini-decision that has prompted me to quit lurking on this board and to join so I could ask this question. First some background: After years of infertility my husband and I are going to adopt a baby and we have to decide on gender preference. The agency says it usually takes about 4 - 6 months (from the point where we are now in the process) until we are given our baby. We will be getting a newborn. We have one son who is 6 years old (he is homeschooled). In 4 - 6 months, he will be newly age 7 (he turns 7 in four months). So, we're trying to consider his and the baby's ages in our gender decision. We feel fairly neutral on gender and even called the agency about whether we can leave it blank and they said that all areas were required to be filled out. About our son ..... he's highly social, never meets a stranger, is sweet, nerdy (has nerdy interests), talks a lot, would rather be with people and talk than play with toys, shares easily (we make him practice), in short -- he's a people person. (In case his temperment affected your advice). If you had this decision which gender would you opt for and why?

Hands down...... Carla Emery's ENCYCLOPEDIA OF COUNTRY LIVING. http://www.amazon.com/Encyclopedia-Country-Living-10th-Edition/dp/1570615535/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335373099&sr=8-1 May likely even be at your library. It's a must have.