How old is too old to get pregnant?

[Ruby Rose]

Just wondering what others think about the age limit for becoming pregnant. Not just physically able.

 

Poll added.

Edited April 15, 2012 by Ruby Sue

[Impish]

After menopause.

[love2read]

After menopause.

:iagree: As long as your body can naturally have a baby, you're not to old. When the baby motel shuts down nature/God is telling you it's time to move on to other activities.

[SKL]

Let's just say I decided to adopt and not look back at age 39. Based on risk statistics, my "rational" cutoff would be about age 38. That said, I'm sure I would have been excited (if nervous) to find myself pregnant at any age.

[delaney]

I think once you are into your 40s you really need to consider the quality of the potential egg. I know that sounds callous but it is true. I had my last just shy of 40 but would not have ventured past that unless that had been our first and we wanted more.

[Jann in TX]

I had my youngest when I was 37. I feel like an OLD mother to her.

I've yet to meet an 'older' parent who regretted having their last child.

 

I had a friend in grade school whose mother was post-menopausal when she was born-- I think the mother was 59 or so-- all of her nieces and nephews were YOUNGER than her! Her parents were retired when she was in 4th grade. They both had serious health issues... she was their caretaker--but she was LOVED very much!

 

I personally wanted to be finished having children by age 30... but then I WANTED another baby when (after the 3rd trimester loss of a surprise pregnancy and related surgery) the Dr said it was possible to carry to term. It was the absolute WORST pregnancy (and almost the worst birth) possible... but I DO NOT REGRET youngest dd. She is a joy to all of us.

[ereks mom]

I think once you are into your 40s you really need to consider the quality of the potential egg.

 

:iagree: I voted 40. I think it's "iffy" after 35, but definitely risky after 40. I had my last baby 2 weeks before I turned 34.

[GailV]

After menopause.

 

:iagree:

 

I had my first at 36. My doctor thought that I was younger at 36 than a lot of people are in their early 30s, physically speaking. So I'd say it depends on the woman -- it's not something you can put a number to. And the age of menopause tends to depend on the woman, so that sort works as a marker from that standpoint, too.

[Mergath]

For me personally, I wouldn't take the risk after forty because of the increased likelyhood of problems. I wouldn't say that no woman should, though.

[ktgrok]

For other women? Whatever they and their care provider feel is safe. For me? Good question :) Thinking about that alot the last few days. I'm pregnant now at 36. It is actually so far a better pregnancy than my last. But will I have another? I doubt it. I think our attitude will be we will try to avoid, but if a miracle happens it happens. But at 40 one or the other of us will do something more permanent.

[catz]

:iagree: As long as your body can naturally have a baby, you're not to old. When the baby motel shuts down nature/God is telling you it's time to move on to other activities.

 

:iagree:

[Impish]

I always swore no babies for me after 35. Then I had Boo last year :lol:

[kewb]

For me personally, 40. For anyone else, whatever age they feel is right for them.

[3peasinWa]

I'm 35 & ttc. I can't believe someone thinks I'm too old to be a mom!! :glare:

 

I vote for after menopause. Though for me personally, I wouldn't ttc after 40.

[Mommyfaithe]

:iagree: As long as your body can naturally have a baby, you're not to old. When the baby motel shuts down nature/God is telling you it's time to move on to other activities.

 

:iagree:

Somewhere between 40-45 it gets really difficult to get pregnant....but, if your body makes a baby...yay!!!!

[sewingmama]

I'm 37 and sort of hoping I could have another. I do feel like an older mother. I WISH I could have had my kids younger but circumstances prevented it.

 

I don't like being an older mother to young kids but I didn't get a choice.

 

I go back and forth wondering if I should have another - I'm old and tired but I also don't see why I should miss out on the children I wanted just because of life circumstances.

 

When I was pregnant with No.3 I was 35 and joked to the doctor that I was now in the high risk category. The doctor just laughed and said with someone with my history of perfect pregnancies and good health he wouldn't put me in that category for a few more years. Well then I disproved that theory by going on to have 2 miscarriages :glare:

 

At the moment we are playing by ear -if I get pregnant and IF I don't miscarry we would have another BUT at the back of my mind there is the fear I will have a baby with issues and I'm so tired with the three young ones I have that I don't know if I'd cope that well with a child of special needs. I have one child who already has significant special needs and I feel crazy even considering another baby but I can't help it.

 

I don't judge anyone else for having a baby after 40 - being LDS I've known plenty of women who have done it and it all turned out fine - those babies tend to be very loved and enjoyed :D

[sewingmama]

double post

[Tohru]

For other women? Whatever they and their care provider feel is safe. For me? Good question :) Thinking about that alot the last few days. I'm pregnant now at 36. It is actually so far a better pregnancy than my last. But will I have another? I doubt it. I think our attitude will be we will try to avoid, but if a miracle happens it happens. But at 40 one or the other of us will do something more permanent.

 

:iagree: Completely!

 

How rude and inconsiderate it is for a woman to say that another woman shouldn't have a baby after a certain age! I've read that and was shocked. Just because one had children younger than a certain age does not mean another woman shouldn't have children when they are older.

Edited April 16, 2012 by jadedone80

[Mom22ns]

For me personally, I wouldn't take the risk after forty because of the increased likelyhood of problems. I wouldn't say that no woman should, though.

 

:iagree:

[Whereneverever]

I'd never tell another woman she was too old to have a baby or look goofy eyed at her for it.

 

I will say I started with my first as a teenager and am now in my mid twenties and it's harder at this point... For me.

[VeganCupcake]

For me personally and my own childbearing, I would say somewhere around 45, if menopause hadn't already made the decision for me.

 

I am an "older mother" of young children (I'm 36), and we're planning on having at least one more baby sometime in the future, though not right away. In some ways, I would have liked to have started my family earlier, but the opportunity did not present itself. I had other opportunities instead.

 

I don't feel old--I'm certainly tired a lot of the time, but who with young children is not tired? Who with children of any age is not tired? :lol:

[LadyMSews]

Well, I'm 42 as of last week and I'm expecting a baby in November.

 

I had my first when I was 30. Dh and I will welcome any child we are blessed with and I'm praying this little bean makes it. I've had 3 miscarriages since our youngest was born, but the first two were most likely related to a huge uterine fibroid I had removed last year. I then had another miscarriage...age related? Who knows...the exact same week I miscarried last fall, a young friend (mid-20's) miscarried, too. The way I look at it is that the risk of miscarriage is worth the potential value of a baby-in-arms at the end.

 

I also post frequently on a forum for big families, with plenty of moms who have/are having babies in their 40's, so I don't feel alone. :) In fact, if I am able to carry to term this time, dh and I will very hopeful to have one last baby in a year or two.

[LadyMSews]

:)

Edited April 16, 2012 by LadyMSews
double post

[Quiver0f10]

After menopause.

 

:iagree:

[Merry]

however, I do feel more tired with him now than I did with the others at his age. I don't regret him though, not in the least.

[momma aimee]

first of all there is no "set in stone date" because it is all health and life related. I know a 25 year old not medically healthy enough to carry a baby and a DF had a baby at 44 and about had twins at 40 *shrug* there is no "one size fits all"

 

I do, however, think we need to respect our bodies NOT try medical options to get preggo -- really at any age -- but espically as we age.

 

ok you had a career and now at 45 want a baby -- if it doesn't happen naturally i do not think you should play God and go medical -- i think if you can't get preggo naturally there is a REASON and you should get out the phone book and look up adoption.

 

respecting our bodies is the key

[KristinaBreece]

I don't think, for me, that I would want to have a baby past 30. But I had my first at 21 and my baby at 23. Not that it matters. I'm 26 now and have been advised that trying to carry another baby would likely kill me. But I so admire women who waited until later to have their kids-- that was my plan, but God had other plans for me. So.... Whenever your body is ready, I guess is okay!

[Carrie12345]

I don't really care what other people do, though I can't imagine taking the post-40 risks.

I wanted to be done by 30. #4 was born 3 days after my 30th birthday... then #5 was born when I was 33. ;)

[DawnM]

My 2nd child was born at 33. My youngest was adopted. I felt that early 30s was perfect for me.

 

I wouldn't want to have children in my 40s if at all possible. I am just too darn tired!

[amy g.]

I had my last 2 at 40 and 43.

 

I'll be 46 next month. That may actually be to old for me to have another.

[lisamarie]

I wanted to be done having kids by age 30. I had my youngest when I was 28. But I got married younger (I was 23) and had no trouble conceiving. My sister got married at 26 and had trouble conceiving. She's pregnant with #3 at 36. My SIL is 32, and they've been trying for the entire 2 years they've been married, and still nothing. I fully expect she and my brother will be having kids into their 40s if they ever do conceive. One of my best friends didn't get married until she was 30, she just had #4 last year and turned 40 a few weeks ago. She says she's done, but I have my doubts. I see one more in her future.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I don't know....50 seems "old" (for having a baby), but 45 doesn't really.

 

There does seem to be some time though. There is a couple with our agency whose daughter is 35 and adopted son is 3. They foster only the littlest ones and hope to adopt. I can't imagine. Sometimes I feel old as it is! And they seem their ages.

[Sue G in PA]

I'm 39 (40 in July). I'm sure you read my post about my "female question". I have 7 children...the youngest being almost 4. There was a time in our life when dh wanted to have a V and eliminate all possibility of another pregnancy...then we had #6 and #7. :) Now, we are leaving it up to the Lord. I had 3 miscarriages between #6 and #7. I also had a miscarriage before #1 and right after #1 (I was only 24). I've never had difficulty getting pregnant. But it's been almost 4 years since #7 and no new baby. My "younger" church friends are all starting their families, having first and second babies...I'm telling you it is scary how many are now expecting or have had little ones in the past few months. I'm finding myself wanting another, just one more, more and more. My mother had me at 36 and my brother at 40 (her surprise). Both of us were healthy. My Amish neighbor had twins last year at age 38. Another friend had her twins at 40. Both healthy. There are risks. I know. But I'm content to leave this up to God b/c He knows better than I do. But I'm praying and asking for just one more pregnancy (twin girls, to be most specific! :D). I don't think I would purposely and actively ttc much beyond say 41 or 42...but if it happened I'd welcome that child just like the others.

[Pink Fairy]

If you can conceive a baby naturally, you aren't too old.

[StaceyinLA]

had her 12th a couple of years ago. She was either 47 or 49. She was the talk of the hospital!

 

I think whatever works for people, and whatever the Lord allows is just fine. It's not my business how old people are when they have children.

 

I wanted to have a ton myself. After a reversal and 4 ectopics though, I had a hysterectomy. Now, when I have 3yodgs over, I understand why God didn't give me more in my later 30's. I get worn, slap out!

 

All mine were born by the time I was 28. I'm 44 with a grandbaby, a grandbaby on the way, and 2 step-grandbabies. I love that I am young enough to enjoy them! We almost adopted my cousin's granddaughter (they wound up deciding to). As much as I know I would've adored her, it would have made a big difference in my abilities to do the things I want to do for my grandkids right now. God always knows what He's doing.

[KristinaBreece]

<snip>...I'm telling you it is scary how many are now expecting or have had little ones in the past few months. I'm finding myself wanting another, just one more, more and more.<snip>

 

I've pretty much always got that baby bug. I see my friends having more, and after I had the first one, I always thought I would have three. I don't really know why.... It just seemed like the right number. But I love my two too much to imagine leaving them without a mommy to fulfill a desire to have another.

[Audrey]

For me? 31 was too old (I had ds at 30). However, there have been some discussions between dh and I that made me think about it more, and I thought that after 40, the risks made it irresponsible for me to have another.

 

But, the above is irrelevant to any other woman.

 

I think every woman should carefully consider all the consequences of having a child no matter what age she is, and come to her own decision on whether it is truly right for her to have one, or another one.

[PollyOR]

I had my first in my early 20's and my last when I was almost 38. It was MUCH easier in my 20's.

 

I toyed with the idea of having "just one more" until my granddaughter was born. While trying to help my daughter/her mother I realized how tired I was. That is when I knew I was too old (43).

[LBS]

My first at my age of 34, and last one just short of 40. I was tired with the youngest, and kept telling my husband, that when the urge hit me to have another, remind me of how I felt. He would sometimes. My body knew. My heart knew.

 

Plus, there are so many babies that need love, in this world, that when I felt like I might have wanted another, I knew the right thing was to care for babies that someone else gave birth to.

[Lucy in Australia]

I had my "surprise" at 42. When I got pregnant, I was beside myself, and not only because my youngest was 10 & I thought I had finished with all the baby stuff. I was very, very worried that this baby (or I) would end up with some major problems. She has been the healthiest of the 3 and I survived :) If you had asked me this question a few years ago, I probably would have said that for me, anything over about 35 was too old - it seems God knew better :D

[Leanna Tomlinson]

If you had asked this question a couple of months ago, I would have said 40-42 was the upper limit, and that only if you didn't have any health problems, other risks etc..

 

God had a huge surprise for us. To our complete shock we found out in early March that we are expecting a baby in Oct.....the same month I turn 46! :svengo:

 

I have thought and said most of the things listed in this thread, and was sure that 45 was too old, especially for me. But now that I know this gift is growing inside of me, I only pray that God grants me the the great blessing of holding this little one in my arms.

[Cindyg]

I have a friend who is 47 and pregnant with #13.

[MrsBanjoClown]

I am 33 and Dh and I are "not preventing" now. We have a 7yo ds and a 5yo ds. Ds7 has said that he wants "twin sisters". I'm not sure if I am up to twins, but according to him, he is praying for them!

[Tarreymere]

I had one at 37 and my youngest at 42. No problems with either. I'm 47 right now and wouldn't mind another one if it happens. I've known women who had babies in their late forties.

 

I think that since people as a general rule are a lot healthier these days at that age it isn't such a big deal.

[TranquilMind]

:iagree: As long as your body can naturally have a baby, you're not to old. When the baby motel shuts down nature/God is telling you it's time to move on to other activities.

Exactly. We act like we decide these things, when really, we don't.

[chepyl]

Personally, I do not want to have a baby after 40. I want four kids. I am pg now, of we have another when this one is two, I will be 36. I am fine with that.

 

I would not tell someone else they are two old. It is partially a question of health, partially personal preference, and. a lot of God's timing. I have two cousins who were conceived after my aunts' tubes were tied. My mom was on fertility drugs to have me and bc when my sister was conceived. I have a preference, but it is not all in my control.

[SunnyDays]

I had my one and only at age 27. (We stopped at one partly due to circumstance, partly by choice.) I personally didn't want to have any after 30, and I don't think I would have after age 35.

 

But as to what others are comfortable with, that's a decision every woman (with her partner and doctor) must make for themselves.

[mumto2]

I don't think it really matters as long as the child is wanted. My parents were in their early 40's when I was born. I have much older brothers. Who l am actually fairly close to. I had a great life as a child. Lots of travel, attention, books. My dh had late 30's parents and lived a very similar life. Basically our interests were pretty much always given an opportunity to be explored-- I will admit I wasn't given my own horse but unlimited lessons were allowed! That was the only big refusal.

 

Many of our childhood experiences are why we home educate. We add a great deal of easy flexibility into what they did for us.

[Joyofsixreboot]

:iagree: As long as your body can naturally have a baby, you're not to old. When the baby motel shuts down nature/God is telling you it's time to move on to other activities.

 

:iagree: Last baby was at 44y 9mo.

[Cassy]

I had my last two at 40 and 43. DH reminded me the other day that when we went for the CVS test for DS5 the consultant commented that my biological age was younger than my chronological age :001_huh:. Basically, I suppose, some people age more quickly, others more slowly, maybe depending on genetics, maybe lifestyle choices, and that can affect at what age you're 'too old' to have another baby. Whatever the case, my last two pregnancies in my forties were pretty straightforward and unproblematical.

 

Cassy