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about boys/girls?

Several threads have mentioned stories, like girls fighting over boys, or boys looking up pictures of girls on the Internet, etc.

I keep seeing shocked parents on here surprised that 10, 11 or 12 year old kids had "feelings" or whatever for the opposite sex.

So, how old were you? How old was your spouse? Did you ever go through a "girls are yucky" phase (adjust for your preferred gender!)

 

Personally, I was always interested in girls, but usually one specific girl at a time. I remember being on the soccer team in Kindergarten with a girl, and I "liked" this girl for 5 years. I never went through a phase where I thought girls had cooties or anything like that.

 

:lurk5:

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My friend and I (we are still good friends to this day) fought over a boy, Nick (yes I remember his name), in second grade. It was innocent compared to some of things you read about nowadays, we were like no he'll sit next to me at lunch. Or he likes me better so he'll play with me at recess.

 

Moving beyond the crush stage and really looking at boys in a "more than friends" way, happened when I started puberty, 9 or 10 or so. I never really went through a boys were icky stage though

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A harmless crush - 10. Really liking a boy started around 14 - 15 for me. It did end a friendship. I told my best friend that I liked this boy (she did not know him); I introduced them at a show we attended. By the end of the show she had asked him out and flirted with him in the most disgusting manner.

 

 

They dated briefly. He ended up remaining my friend (he also ended up being gay); I never spoke to her again.

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My first crush started in 1st or 2nd grade, so age 6-7. Boys and girls were playing "getting married" on the playground by that time, so I assume that I was pretty normal. Although in fairness, we all thought that a kiss was the culmination of everything, while many kids today have a much less innocent idea of what the boy/girl thing is all about. Same ages as we were, but much more...worldly.

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about boys/girls?

Several threads have mentioned stories, like girls fighting over boys, or boys looking up pictures of girls on the Internet, etc.

I keep seeing shocked parents on here surprised that 10, 11 or 12 year old kids had "feelings" or whatever for the opposite sex.

So, how old were you? How old was your spouse? Did you ever go through a "girls are yucky" phase (adjust for your preferred gender!)

 

Personally, I was always interested in girls, but usually one specific girl at a time. I remember being on the soccer team in Kindergarten with a girl, and I "liked" this girl for 5 years. I never went through a phase where I thought girls had cooties or anything like that.

 

:lurk5:

 

Except for one "puppy" crush when I was 12 years old, I didn't become interested in boys until I was in college. Seriously. I had school, work, horses, friends, and extra-curricular activities to keep me occupied.

 

I pretty much entirely skipped the "boy crazy" phase that seems so typical of 10-16 year old girls. Mostly, because I was "horse crazy." And "book crazy." My response to friends who were so into boys was basically an eye roll, and "Really? Do you not have anything else on your brain than silly emotions and reproduction?"

 

Also, I was raised in a traditional/evangelical home, that banned any sexual relations before marriage. Since I had zero interest in getting tied down in my small NC town with a guy from high school, I found no purpose to dating. Don't get me wrong--I went out on "friend" dates, a couple of times, just for fun. But I never let it get beyond that, because making out, etc., was preliminary behavior to sex, and sex only came with marriage.

 

I didn't want to be married, certainly not that young. Ergo, I didn't want to get involved with boys. Therefore, I was not interested in them as anything but friends, until I was in college in another state.

Edited by Aelwydd
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I remember "going with" Jason ____ in 5th grade, so age 10 or 11 or so. He passed me a note, and I checked the yes box. :D And I remember that year talking at recess about how Stacy ____ had kissed a boy. By 14 and 15 yo, everyone had a boyfriend. My parents were strict, so I didn't get to date alone (we did group activites as a mixed group from about age 13) until just before I turned 16.

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I kissed a boy in kindergarten, yes I did. :lol: It was a peck on the lips that meant nothing. I think a group of us were playing house with the cardboard blocks. I also remember being jealous because I got glue and the some of kids got paste in their supplies. You could eat the paste.

 

Seriously thinking about boys, about 6th or 7th grade. I remember a boy told me he loved me in 6th grade. I told him he didn't because we never talked or hung out, how could he love me.

 

I was a tomboy, who mostly hung out with guys in junior high and after. We were all just friends.

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First crush was 6th grade, so about 11 or 12yo. It only lasted a couple months because the boy was only at our school that long. But I wasn't really interested in boys until 7th grade.

 

And in 6th grade all the girls had a crush on our new homeroom teacher. We had the only male teacher in school. He moved up to vice-principal when the previous vp went on maternity leave halfway through the school year. Our new teacher was the second male teacher in the school but muuuuuch younger. And cute!

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I had my first serious crush when I was in 8th grade. There were mild flirtations before that. I remember a boy wanted to kiss me when I was in 3rd grade, but I wouldn't let him, even though I kind of "liked" him. I also remember kids "going together" in 4th and 5th grade, but it was all very innocent.

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My first crush started in 1st or 2nd grade, so age 6-7. Boys and girls were playing "getting married" on the playground by that time, so I assume that I was pretty normal. Although in fairness, we all thought that a kiss was the culmination of everything, while many kids today have a much less innocent idea of what the boy/girl thing is all about. Same ages as we were, but much more...worldly.

 

We did that a recess too! And at that age. We didn't actually kiss or anything. I think maybe that is the difference. "Going together" was not the pinnacle, marriage was. Even in high school I had crushes but I didn't let myself get so involved with dating and being in love because I knew I wasn't ready to get married. It's sad that 10 yo girls take this stuff so seriously at that age.

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eh...pretty much always. I had a little boyfriend in 2nd grade (check yes or no kind of thing) Had a pretty innocent first kiss in 3rd grade. Started heading towards trouble by the time I was 11 or 12.

 

My younger two have no interest whatsoever in having a boyfriend. My oldest has taken after me a bit and has been boy crazy since day one. She is the one that is wondering (at 15) if she will meet her future husband soon. :tongue_smilie: She is a much better behaved child than I was though, and has a much healthier outlook on relationships than I did.

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I was a bit of a tom boy. Up until I was 9 all my friends were boys. Then I had my first female friend. We were tight and I still consider her my friend 35+ years later.

 

So I never thought boys were icky. They were my friends.

 

I think I had my first crush in 6th grade.

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about boys/girls?

Several threads have mentioned stories, like girls fighting over boys, or boys looking up pictures of girls on the Internet, etc.

I keep seeing shocked parents on here surprised that 10, 11 or 12 year old kids had "feelings" or whatever for the opposite sex.

So, how old were you? How old was your spouse? Did you ever go through a "girls are yucky" phase (adjust for your preferred gender!)

 

Personally, I was always interested in girls, but usually one specific girl at a time. I remember being on the soccer team in Kindergarten with a girl, and I "liked" this girl for 5 years. I never went through a phase where I thought girls had cooties or anything like that.

 

:lurk5:

 

This is pretty much my answer...While I never liked girls in that way :tongue_smilie:, I have always been interested in boys...I remember my first crush "Little Tony" when I was 3 :D...My boys seem to be the same way...They have always talked about "their future wives" and such...They don't seem to think girls are "yucky" ;)

ETA: My oldest is 11 and definitely has feelings for girls, one girl in particular that he has "liked from afar" for a few years now...I am glad that he can come to me and talk about it...I think these things are pretty normal...

Edited by TheAutumnOak
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A couple of years ago, a friend I'd had before kindergarten (moved away during kindergarten, lived on our block from birth) joined Facebook, found and friended me. Looking at the pictures of the two of us as kids that her mother posted, I was stunned to find that all those childhood feelings, stirred up again, were just like the feelings I'd had towards romantic partners as an adult. I am pretty sure I was in love with this girl when I was four years old. Our parents described us as inseparable and obsessed with each other.

 

I did go through an "all girls are gross" stage when I was eight to eleven, but I had a girlfriend when I was thirteen and we remained together until we were in our early twenties.

 

I think we come together in the womb capable of love, even that kind of love. As a preschooler, especially one in a homophobic household experiencing romantic feelings for a same-sex friend, I never ever would or could have labeled my friend a "girlfriend." But those feelings were just as real as any I have had as a grown-up.

 

On the wall of the poet Antler is a blown-up photo of him as a little boy with his partner, also then a little boy, in the early fifties. They're still together. They've known and loved each other since early childhood.

 

Yep, it happens.

 

But I tend to think the cattiness, the fighting, the trading of the official boyfriend or girlfriend status -- I think that's all learned behavior. Little kids love innocently with no expectations.

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Apparently, I had a "girlfriend" in kindergarten named Elizabeth, but I don't remember liking girls until I was in high school, so 14. In junior high, I only had guy friends and we played hockey or street hockey every single day after school, or all day on the weekends. We didn't have school dances, my parents were against dating before 17/18 and we didn't have the internet, so it just wasn't something I thought about.

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Hmmmmm....I thought boys were :glare: until college. However, I let boys hang out around me in high school.

 

My sister was the same way. Both of us were very pragmatic...no sense in going through the drama when we had NO intention of settling down. We figured high school boys weren't all that mature, why bother anyway!:D I was pretty career focused and anti-relationship until I met DH who made my knees knock.

 

Of course, my dad always said I was born "practicing the piano" and my sister was born yelling, "Whose in charge because I'm taking over?" Apparently, we showed characteristics that indicated we would be rather independent and not prone to developing clingy relationships.

 

It runs in the family. My cousin, the PH.D. Environmental Science researcher, was absolutely born sporting two beakers, a test tube, and demanding to be pointed towards the most polluted river in the area. According to my uncle, he nearly fainted when she announced her engagement. According to the pastor, the reason the church was so full on the day of her wedding was, "Seeing is believing" and none of the congregation would have taken his word for it! :lol: If you've ever watched the Fox show "Bones", Temperance Brennan is my cousin...absolutely the same in every.single.way. Now, I admit to occasionally playing the role of Angela in her life, "Sweety...that was a bit on the abrasive side. We've gone over this before. You don't have feelings but other people do!" But, mostly I talked about classical music the same way Hodgins talks about slime mold. It definitely kept the dating prospects to a minimum. :biggrinjester:

 

DD inherited this trait. She had no use for males until she turned 20. The first one, a 26 year old special ed teacher, came on strong, and to be honest, had a lot of winning qualities. He will make a fine husband and father for the right girl. However, though he was ready to pop the question, that ever pragmatic daughter of ours could tell that ultimately he was not comfortable with her choice of profession and the hours she works, the situations she occasionally finds herself in, etc....definitely there was hinting on his part that she should really hurry up and finish nursing school (which she told him more than once was not happening) and work in some nice, clean, scheduled, normal hospital in a not too intense place. DD loves being a paramedic...she loves triage, trauma, field work, responding to disasters, etc. It is a piece of her soul...I don't believe she could ever be truly happy if she gave it up completely...certainly she would slow down if she were pregnant or had young ones at home. But give it up? That's like asking her to stop breathing. So, she very gently broke it off with him and that was hard. She loved him; he loved her...but he was a bit clingy and she knew he'd never be happy as long as she worked this unpredictable job and she knew herself well enough to know she'd resent him if she gave it up. It was for the best. But, most girls in that age range that I've met, aren't quite so practical.

 

Genetically, this all comes from my paternal grandmother. She was basically forced to marry because her parents thought that is what good girls do when they graduate from high school...which is what she did at 16. So they picked out my grandfather - who thought she was the cat's meow anyway - and told her to get married or be disowned. She never even said her vows...she was COMPLETELY mute for the ceremony, but the magistrate declared them married anyway. It took her about five years to get over it and start treating him like something more than a mess maker she had to pick up after!

 

My niece inherited the gene too. She's only 10, but OH MY WORD, look out boys. She will knock your block off if you even think a romantic thought! I'm proud of her! :D It's nice to know the DNA is live and well. :lol:

 

Faith - from a long line of females without youthful, romantic leanings

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I remember having a massive crush on a boy in 4th grade. But really truly caring as in I knew what dating was? I was probably around 14/15.

 

I am not surprised that 10 year old girls would have a crush on a boy. I am surprised that there would be a fist fight about it.

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I had my first "boyfriend" at age 7, as in went on dates with him and we would hide under the kiddy pool and in the chicken coop and kiss all day. That summer I was at my gramma's for 1 month and spent most of it with him. every summer after that for 7 years we saw each other for 2 weeks. Same deal, lots of kissing. At 14 I didn't go back to my gramma's and that sept he went to her house and asked her to phone me for permission to ask out a girl from his class. I have not seen him since, I never went back to my gramma's every again. At 12 I was asked on a date and though I did not want to go with the boy my mom said I had to because it was hard for him to ask. She felt it was wrong to turn a boy down that asked you on a date. Her way of pushing that you should do what the boy wants, got me into a lot of trouble including abusive relationships when I was a teen.

 

So I guess I was 7 when I got into boys. My dd12 has very little interest though there is 1 boy that has her eye and he seems to think the same of her, but unlike my parents I do not encourage dating etc early, and neither does the parents of the boy that caught her eye. Other than this 1 boy she has zero interest in boys in general. Ds13 about the same, he thinks some girls are cute, but no real interest beyond that at this point.

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My first real crush was when I was 10. Kids in my 4th and 5th grade class were dating. I would consider myself a bit of a late bloomer.

 

I think that's pretty normal if you consider the age that puberty generally hits.

 

My first crush that I'd really consider sexual, rather than just "I want to spend all my time with this person!" was when I was 14.

 

I wouldn't say that I ever went through a huge "boys are yucky" phase, but I started to really make friends with boys (in a platonic sense) when I was 11.

Edited by ocelotmom
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I had a crush on the boy next door for a while, but I never told a soul and would NEVER have wanted to act upon it. I think was 12? I definitely wouldn't have bashed another girl's head in over it. THAT'S NUTS.

 

I wasn't allowed to date before age 16 and remember telling a couple of boys that I wasn't allowed to like them because I wasn't 16. I was frankly glad my parents had given me the excuse. I was completely uninterested in that sort of thing. I was definitely more like a previous poster who mentioned liking her books more than she liked boys. I also went to IFB private school and NONE of that boy/girl stuff would have been tolerated.

 

I've never been boy crazy. In college, the girls were obsessed with getting a guy. Those endless conversations were so tedious. I knew what I wanted. Marriage factored into that but it wasn't my all-consuming passion. I learned early on how to say, "I'm not interested," in a polite but firm way.

 

My 12yo (almost 13yo) daughter seems to be following in my footsteps which makes me very happy.

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I remember fawning over a boy at around 8. I used to dream of our wedding! I've known much younger boy-crazy girls.

 

Of course 12 yo girls have feelings for boys. Do people not understand the concept of puberty?

 

Especially since some girls are starting as early as 8 or 9.

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I had a "boyfriend" in 4th grade. We sat next to eachother in class and held hands while we did our work...he was a lefty, I was a righty. :lol: I belonged to a clique and we all thought we were awesome; we passed around *my* boyfriend from week to week. I remember in 5th grade too, a guy asking me over the phone if I would, "Go steady," except I thought he said, "Go study," so I said yes. I was completely shocked when a friend told me that he was now my boyfriend. I think we all thought we were far more mature than we were but it really hit home when in 7th grade, one of our clique got pregnant. We all grew up by leaps and bounds after that. :001_huh:

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Honestly, I remember having a crush on a boy when I was 3 (Sunday School). He was so cute. White/blonde hair. His name was Darryl. He did not share my affection. It just continued from there. It was always one boy at a time. :lol:

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I remember fawning over a boy at around 8. I used to dream of our wedding! I've known much younger boy-crazy girls.

 

Of course 12 yo girls have feelings for boys. Do people not understand the concept of puberty?

 

Not all 12 yo girls do. Besides one crush (which lasted a week at camp), I wasn't interested in boys at all. I started puberty at age 10.

 

I was obsessed, OTOH, with horses, and books, and having fun with my friends.

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I have always had a thing for the opposite sex. I was in love with my next door neighbor when we were 4 years old! We used to meet in the woodpile between our houses to hang out and flirt. Every year I was in school I had a crush on one boy or another, and like the op, it was one at a time. Some of the 4th - 5th grade girls and I used to chase boys around the playground during recess, but we never fought over anyone.

 

At 12 I had my first kiss from a boy one year older than me, but never once did we consider anything beyond that -- and it stayed that way for me all through school.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

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