AuntieM Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 "just for the girls," how would your pair of boys feel? Left out? Or manly, because Valentine's Day is really just for girls anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ByGrace3 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Well, ds is 4, so he would be seriously bummed. And since I buy something for dh, (at least a card) V day isn't just for the girls around here. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 When my kids were younger, dh bought little things for all of the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 "just for the girls," how would your pair of boys feel? Left out? Or manly, because Valentine's Day is really just for girls anyway? My boys would feel left out and hurt. I would get them treats just from me to them. From Momma to just the boys. That way all kids are getting a treat from a parent. I can see my own boys feeling like the girls were loved more to be given a special treat and not them. ETA: I don't know if their feelings would be due to their ages or due to their issues/delayed social stuff, or just because they are sensitive but even my 13 yr old would not easily grasp why the girls were getting something and he wasn't, or he would put a different meaning/intention to it kwim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 If it involved candy, even my 13 year old would be bummed and feel left out. My 8 year old would cry. LOL (but, alas, since all I have is 2 boys, they both got something. :)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Left out. I suppose it depends on how you see Valentine's day. If it is something just for girls in your family then it might be okay. In our family it is a day to outwardly express our love for our family members so to leave dh out would be beyond rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 my kiddo's 9 and he would definately feel left out..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaAkins Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My son would feel left out. If the "Valentine treat" was something "girly" like flowers, I would expect that my dh would get something comparable, but more suited for our son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My boys would range from hurt to outraged. To be honest, the idea of my husband buying a Valentine for our girl but not our boys kind of makes me think "ewww." Either you are giving valentines to your kids because you view valentines as a time to say "I love you"--in which case all kids get one. Or you view valentines as a romantic gesture, in which case it's completely inappropriate for a dad to give one to his daughters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalypso Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My boys would be hurt and disappointed. Everyone likes a treat around here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Left out. Poor guys. I'd run out and get them something from you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I would imagine my son would feel left out if his sisters got cards and candy. When I was in school, we exchanged valentine cards and everyone got a small candy gift from the teacher. I don't see why valentine's day is considered girly. Back when my DH would give me a small gift for valentine's, I always got him a little something too. Solve the problem by giving all the kids a gift and having both parents' names on the card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I am sure my sons would feel left out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I would give the boys a similar special treat for St. Valentine's Day - who doesn't like chocolate or whatnot??? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 Thank you, hive! Honestly, I am convinced he was in a hurry and thinking the boys might feel silly getting girlish heart candy, but pressed for time and unable to come up with what he felt was an alternative gift (our boys are older). This is my dh who also makes interesting Christmas Eve gift selections when the Procrastinator's Curse kicks in. No harm intended, truly. Anyway, I shooed his stuff off the table this morning and told him we could present treats at dinner time. I already had gotten stuff for everyone but got busy making cards with my little one and didn't have time to set them out this morning. So everyone will be fairly treated. I just felt like a mean critic - what do you do when the choice is hurt dh's feelings or hurt the kids'? Felt like a no-win moment! Thanks for the talking points. I really do want to discuss with him all the implications of the varying perspectives on this "holiday." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My boys would range from hurt to outraged. To be honest, the idea of my husband buying a Valentine for our girl but not our boys kind of makes me think "ewww." Either you are giving valentines to your kids because you view valentines as a time to say "I love you"--in which case all kids get one. Or you view valentines as a romantic gesture, in which case it's completely inappropriate for a dad to give one to his daughters. :iagree: Not to say that there are inappropriate intentions, at all, but it sounds like maybe he needs to think it through a little more. In our house, Valentine's Day is a celebration of all kinds of love. The kids made cards for us and got cards from us and from their grandparents. Sweetly, they realized this morning when we exchanged cards that they hadn't made one for each other, and they were sorry about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Manly because Valentine's is just for girls. Dh doesn't get gifts, so ds wouldn't want any. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Left out, but my son's only 6. He's definitely getting a heart shaped box of candy hugs and kisses right along with the girls this year and for many years to come! If he ever expresses some form of "Uh, I really don't want this stuff, Mom and Dad, this is for girls!" then maybe he will no longer get them. :P But seriously, who doesn't like CHOCOLATE? P.S. I disagree it's just for girls. Public schools, homeschool groups etc have "Valentine's Day parties" and EVERYONE exchanges treats and Valentines. And husbands and wives BOTH exchange cards if not always necessarily gifts. And I've sent my husband flowers and such for fun on Valentine's Day here and there in the past. Why not? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My boys would feel left out. They'd eat a candy bar with a pink wrapper-possibly with the wrapper if it didn't tear fast enough :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Well, if dh brought something home for the "girls" it would be just for me and the dog. My boys would have felt left out. When the boys were younger, I always did something for them for V-Day. It isn't just about girls - there has to be that male component as well to make it all work :) For young kids, holidays are for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferdie Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 If it involved candy, even my 13 year old would be bummed and feel left out. My 8 year old would cry. LOL (but, alas, since all I have is 2 boys, they both got something. :)) Ditto. If food was involved even my teenager would feel left out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I'd buy treats for the boys and Dad, equal to what he got the women in his life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akmommy Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My boys would be hurt and disappointed. Everyone likes a treat around here. Only one DS here, but he would definitely be hurt and he's 12. DH always get the kids a little heart of chocolate. Never as big as mammas but everyone gets a little something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliums Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Boys could ask the girls to share. I don't find this too odd and I have relatively liberal views toward gender rolls. I can see DH picking up some feminine looking candy for nieces and not thinking to get something for the boys. I only have boys, but have had girls living with us from time to time due to various family circumstances. But, we don't do much for Valentine's day. I didn't think of getting the kids anything. Today we are making sugar cookies to share with others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the evolving homemaker Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Mine would be heartbroken. And yes, around here Daddy gets card and a small token too. It is a holiday about love, not girls. Just my two cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My boys would range from hurt to outraged. To be honest, the idea of my husband buying a Valentine for our girl but not our boys kind of makes me think "ewww." Either you are giving valentines to your kids because you view valentines as a time to say "I love you"--in which case all kids get one. Or you view valentines as a romantic gesture, in which case it's completely inappropriate for a dad to give one to his daughters. :iagree::iagree: Why on earth would you not want your sons to feel loved??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi @ Mt Hope Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My son would feel left out. If the "Valentine treat" was something "girly" like flowers, I would expect that my dh would get something comparable, but more suited for our son. :iagree: But we have three boys and then a baby girl, so Valentine's Day has always been about the boys from the beginning. If it is a parent giving the treats, it should be done to show love to all children even if the actual gifts are different according to what would make the child feel loved. The boys gave Valentine's treats to friends yesterday, and they didn't just give to the girls. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Ds14 says that he wouldn't care - unless it was dark chocolate. Then he would say "hand some over"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in the UP of MI Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My boys would be very disappointed and they would both cry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Either you are giving valentines to your kids because you view valentines as a time to say "I love you"--in which case all kids get one. Or you view valentines as a romantic gesture, in which case it's completely inappropriate for a dad to give one to his daughters. :iagree: Exactly! My dh considers Valentine's Day to be romantic, and only gives a gift to me. I consider it a general "I love you", and give small gifts to the kids. I usually give dh a card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Mine would be heartbroken. And yes, around here Daddy gets card and a small token too. It is a holiday about love, not girls. Just my two cents. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Occasionally Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Thank you, hive! Honestly, I am convinced he was in a hurry and thinking the boys might feel silly getting girlish heart candy, but pressed for time and unable to come up with what he felt was an alternative gift (our boys are older). This is my dh who also makes interesting Christmas Eve gift selections when the Procrastinator's Curse kicks in. No harm intended, truly. Anyway, I shooed his stuff off the table this morning and told him we could present treats at dinner time. I already had gotten stuff for everyone but got busy making cards with my little one and didn't have time to set them out this morning. So everyone will be fairly treated. I just felt like a mean critic - what do you do when the choice is hurt dh's feelings or hurt the kids'? Felt like a no-win moment! Thanks for the talking points. I really do want to discuss with him all the implications of the varying perspectives on this "holiday." My boys would be seriously bummed. That said, my DH said to me this Christmas that he didn't like having to get something for every kid when he wants to get something particularly for one kid (he wanted to buy DD a book, but felt he had to get a book for each of them.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 If dh only bought for dd, I would only buy for ds -- something of fairly equivalent value. Is there some sort of problem with doing that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 "just for the girls," how would your pair of boys feel? Left out? Or manly, because Valentine's Day is really just for girls anyway? My ds would feel left out. And it isn't just for girls. btw, in Japan, only girls buy chocolates for guys on Valentines Day. Men return the favor a month later on White Day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Who doesn't like a treat? My kids would be disappointed, sure. My 3 year old would cry. My 6 year old might cry. They would all be disappointed, especially if the gift were candy or something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EJCMom Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My son would feel left out. I'd probably just address it with DH with a light and breezy, "Did you have something specific in mind for DS or would you like me to just pick something up?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy1k Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 You guys make it sound terrible. :laugh: My husband always brings a small surprise to our daughter for V-day and nothing for the boys. I always get treats for everyone. But, it's become a dad/daughter tradition and it's sweet...or so I thought. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My boys would range from hurt to outraged. To be honest, the idea of my husband buying a Valentine for our girl but not our boys kind of makes me think "ewww." Either you are giving valentines to your kids because you view valentines as a time to say "I love you"--in which case all kids get one. Or you view valentines as a romantic gesture, in which case it's completely inappropriate for a dad to give one to his daughters. :iagree: Dh leaves for work before we get up. We got up this morning to a nice array of boxes of chocolates for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeScholar Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Everyone gets a Vday gift here, just something small but thoughtful. We treat it as a family "general love you day". I often get flowers, but my DS will give them to me as often as my husband. My DS collects miniature dragons statues, so I'm getting him a dragon with a heart gem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 The way it works in my house is DH brings home all the left-over junk from his classroom Valentine's party and anyone who wants something gets something. We don't celebrate Valentine's Day though. I guess we all think it is a bit silly around here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Left out. Perhaps Dad could buy for girls, Mom for boys? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virg Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I am interested in all the replies. My family has always done special presents just for the girls from Dad and special presents just for the boys from Mama. Then everyone gets a few of the same things. Usually Dad sends flowers that are delivered :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 (edited) But, we don't do much for Valentine's day. I didn't think of getting the kids anything. Today we are making sugar cookies to share with others. This is us, too. To me, it is a romantic holiday. Dh gets me a nice gift, and he takes me out to dinner if we have time (not this year.) The kiddos don't get anything, and we skip Valentine's parties. Dc know that someday they will have a chance to celebrate with their own sweetheart, but to me it's not a children's holiday. :001_smile: I wouldn't think it odd for a man to get presents for his daughters, because obviously in that family it would be viewed in a different way. If dh did that, my son wouldn't care about not getting anything, but we have pretty traditional ideas about gender roles, so girls getting special treatment is the norm. :D Edited February 14, 2012 by angela in ohio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I think love is for everyone. If I were a boy, I'd feel left out.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My boys would range from hurt to outraged. To be honest, the idea of my husband buying a Valentine for our girl but not our boys kind of makes me think "ewww." Either you are giving valentines to your kids because you view valentines as a time to say "I love you"--in which case all kids get one. Or you view valentines as a romantic gesture, in which case it's completely inappropriate for a dad to give one to his daughters. This, exactly. All kids or no kids. I vote for all kids. Mine certainly love the chocolate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abigail4476 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 "just for the girls," how would your pair of boys feel? Left out? Or manly, because Valentine's Day is really just for girls anyway? Hurt--probably to the point of tears. My husband buys little things for everyone on Valentine's Day--even my Mom. It isn't obligatory, but he likes doing it and we all enjoy it. :) He definitely wouldn't by our dd's anything without including our ds. If he did, I would point out his mistake and ask him to rectify it. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Depends on the age. My 7 year old would feel left out at this age. If he were a teen - he would most likely act macho (even though he might care). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My 15 year old had to make a family tree for one of her classes. My to be SIL wanted to know why he wasn't on the tree. He felt left out. Everyone got a box of chocolates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Running the race Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 The boys would feel left out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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