this sounds like a power play to me. her trying to control something now. why on earth is she planning to move there in 15 years? after the kids are gone? uhuh. that would be a no go for me and i wouldn't waste my time having conversations about it now. lol. 15 years is a long time away and LOTS can change by then. i seriously give her sharing of her plan the time of day. or my energy. or a response other than, "isn't that interesting." it just sounds like one more way to create some drama or make something about her in this moment. period. JMO. i could be way off base. my MIL is welcome, my FIL can take the first train somewhere else. he would not be welcome and i am sure he is aware of my thoughts on that.

i have been there. not because of homeschooling. have you tried to change your thoughts? i know, it sounds to simple and cheesy, but really. i find that i lead myself to depression with NO help from others. i simply latch on to a thought like, "i am a terrible mom because i yelled at my kids" and whalah, three days later i feel awful, tired, anxious, like the worst person on the planet. or, i have an anxious thought like, "something could happen on the plane ride" and then lo and behold i panic the whole plane ride. i have anxiety. been diagnosed. i get it. there are times i can't stop my brain and i take medication in those moments. i think of it as a tool. otherwise, lately i have been really trying to change my thoughts when they creep up. if i start thinking bad things i look at it and ask if it is true. am i really a bad mom? no. is the plane really going to go down? probably not. does my husband not love me? no. am i too fat? who gives a...you know... i really do think so we think so we are. try taking a moment to bring yourself into the present moment and out of your head. look at a tree deeply, look at your kids deeply. i would recommend The Power of Now, A New Earth, and Stillness Speaks by Ekhart Tolle. anything by Thich Nhat Hanh. good luck. i would still get thyroid, adrenals, hormones, blood sugar levels checked too. hypoglycemia and other issues can wreak havoc on such. :grouphug:

i just think this is funny. really. i had the same conversation a few WEEKS ago on facebook! i was driving around town one day noticing all the wreaths and stuff still up. i felt the insatiable need to place them on the front stoop of the house in which they were hanging. not to be rude, but because evidently they were busy and i wanted to be helpful. lol. i told this to my husband and he rolled his eyes. he said, "um i just took the wreath hook off the door two days ago." so evidently i am not as 'on the ball' as i had professed. :lol:

i find that every time i read a parenting book, or hear helpful advice, or read it like here, it makes perfect logical lovely sense. then a week goes by and i have forgotten everything i read, heard etc. i am in the same boat as you, and i have read all the books, i just find it really HARD to take the time in the moment to step back and not react initially with a 'no' or some other non creative response. it is nice to see all this advice in snippets, but i for one know that i have a hard time in the moment trying to remember, or taking time to pause and react differently. a little bit of gentleness of myself can go a long way too.

:iagree: I think that is how mine feels. I am home all day, I must have ample time on my hands.

yeah, i would say give the old college try at other instruments. my son is playing cello and while he is really surprisingly good at it, way better than i was ever at anything, he HATES it. he wants to play guitar more than anything. he is 7 1/2. next year i will still have him take music classes at his enrichment program, as he is doing with cello, but he can take guitar or anything else too. I try to tell him for this year, all of the learning he is doing will transfer to guitar easily, that the finger movements across strings will pay off! good luck!

i have NO idea what you are talking about, but you had me at DONUT. :lol:

:iagree: That is so true. I suppose it just so happened that when i was 23 i didn't want kids at all and now I have 2 and homeschool...who knew? by the time we began to have kids we both agreed on 2. of course in my sisters case, her husband got 'fixed' after they had their 3rd, and nine years later she decided she wanted another so they adopted. So too true, your statement, too true!

i don't want it to come across as i am down on 'men who decide'. that is not what i meant. i just think that it is unfortunate that WHOEVER is the one who doesn't want more children, for whatever reasons, leaves the other with quite a bit of sadness, maybe resentment and that is discouraging in a marriage. i think it is an impossible situation and one i am glad i don't really have to deal with. it would be dangerous for me to have more children even if i wanted any and my husband wanted as many as we have. it WAS however something we discussed before marriage and decided on. we both agreed. i think the question from the poster sounds less about children per se, and more about how to find happiness in her life. i laughed at the woman who said there is no guarantee of lovely family gatherings later...cause ain't that the truth! :lol: i really stress making ones own self happy and not look to others, even children, to do that.

Now there is someone who will grow up to treat his gal right. Nicely done. Good on him.

the most random vents are still so necessary. period. :grouphug:

This is the second time in a short period I have heard a woman's sadness because her husband like where things are and she wants more children. To me, being part of a family is a process. There is room for negotiations to happen. Or at least there should be. Why does the husband get to decide and the wife mourn her hopes? Either way it is a tough situation because someone is going to have to adapt. I would say however, that if you are looking to children to bring you happiness and give your life meaning, you may be looking in the wrong place. I get it about big family celebrations, but if you feel like your life is missing something in some way, maybe you should spend some time exploring that. Take a class, volunteer somewhere, learn a new skill. All of these can be done while homeschooling, I do them and lots of Mom's I know do them. Children are not there to fill US up. It is our place to help fill THEM up, while teaching them how to do that for themselves too, until they are gone from us and on their own. I get it about being BORED. That happens to me too. But I have looked to the outside of myself to try and fill the void, and find it hasn't worked. Now I try to figure out what in me needs to be nurtured, a mini trip, some adventure, a new endeavor of some sort, a volunteer situation that challenges my mind... Good luck. I am sorry you are going through this. It is hard. My sister decided at 42 to adopt since her husband had been 'fixed' lol so to speak years earlier after their third child. And their kids were older too, like 14, 11, 10

Wow. That is a tough call really. Normally I would say go and have fun and try something new. IF he will need to sleep during the day, that might be another story. How on earth would I keep my kids quiet/gone for 7-8 hours during the day? Sounds like you will find some Mama's to hang with, and toddlers are pretty easy to keep entertained really. IF I were going to stay home I would invite my Mom for a visit, schedule lots of play dates with friends and pre-hire a babysitter at least once while he is gone so I could get out by myself. I bet you can find lots to do either way. As far as safety while he is gone...I HEAR that. get an alarm system installed. It isn't that expensive I don't think, and it would be worth the ability to sleep well especially if he will have to travel again.

Hmmm...tough one. Such great information you have received already from people with lots of extensive travel under their belts. I think I would want to home school to keep the transition smooth for the kids, but also to enjoy every ounce of having my own schedule so the kids and I could really immerse ourselves in the culture in other ways. If there is an awesome/large home school community, I would start emailing now. good luck, sounds SO fun!

I actually find this interesting beyond the whole school board thing. My son is quite wiggly and I may need to try this for him. Of course my daughter would then want one too, and now with all the core mentions, Mama would use the one she already has. lol. They aren't cheap, but I could see how for my son they might really be helpful for him. Thanks for the question to get my gears turning!