What does the Hive think of vow renewals?

[SunD]

No, they didn't expire. :tongue_smilie:

 

The short version of the "why" story is, this year will be our fifth anniversary, and five-year periods have been a big deal somehow ever since we met. We dated for five years, were apart for five years, and now have been married for five years. This five year mark seems significant to me. Not that I want to do this EVERY five years, but being five years in seems significant and important. When we announced our engagement quite a few people said something to the effect of half of marriages not lasting five years. Yeah, congrats!

 

We've also always said we'd have a big party on our fifth anniversary since we didn't really have a wedding. No dress, no cake, no flowers, just a marriage license and $40 for the officiant. And two friends who were going to job interviews immediately after. :lol: I wanted to go to a nice restaurant for lunch, at least, but our friends dropped us off at the motel (yes, motel, I'm talking Super 8 here) and we ordered pizza from Domino's. We didn't even have tea. ;)

 

So, I want to celebrate this significant mark. But a lot of what I'm reading online about vow renewals is people complaining that so-and-so had a "do-over wedding". What is okay? Can I have a dress if it's not a poofy $800 ballgown? Can we have flowers? Dance? What about a wedding party? (Our friends who were there were supposed to be, but obviously they were dressed in business-y clothes and it turned out we didn't actually need witness signatures!) I have a best friend and a sister (and DH has a best friend/cousin and a brother) who were pretty disappointed to not be in our wedding. We also have two DDs and nieces who will take any chance to wear fancy clothes, so I was thinking they could be flower girls, but that's definitely in wedding territory. I'm leaning away from that, but then how could our kids be involved? They're too little to really participate in the vow part or light "family unity" candles like I've read about.

 

I'm afraid of unwittingly doing something tacky. :confused: I'm not talking about a catered event in a decorated grand ballroom, but I'm not sure where to draw the line.

[gardenmom5]

You can do whatever you want, but don't expect people to be as enthusiastic as five years ago.

 

I personally don't need to have any big show on my anniversary for anyone but my husband and myself. we celebrate our 30th this year.

[Mimmy]

I think it sounds very sweet and appropriate for you to have something marking 5 years of marriage. I would be happy to go to a party for one of my friends honoring their marriage, especially if it was a family friendly event and I wasn't expected to bring a gift

[KungFuPanda]

Our 20th is approaching and I don't see us ever having an anniversary party, much less a vowel renewal service. We like to celebrate our anniversaries alone :D. From what I've seen, most people DO make it to 5 years, but getting to 10 is iffy because things start to crumble around year 7

 

HOWEVER, I would be delighted to attend a party to honor someone else's marriage. I mean, where's the down side to food, friends, and fun? (I'm assuming you won't be registering anywhere or expecting people to buy fancy clothes.)

[DianeW88]

I've been married for almost 24 years and have never seen the need or purpose of a vow renewal ceremony.

[kalanamak]

I think they are twee, but I'm known for being crusty.

[MrsBasil]

It's not my thing, but if a friend or family member held one I would happily attend. I would be genuinely happy to be invited and sincere in my well wishes. It would not cross my mind to think it was tacky.

 

If you want to do it, involve your family and invite everyone. Have a great time with your loved ones and try to ignore what the internet says. Someone is always going to have their underwear in a bunch about something.

 

You could have it in someone's backyard or a hall. Have a short ceremony that's meaningful to you. Don't register anywhere and try to make it clear that you don't need or care about gifts. If someone presses, tell them to bring some wine.

 

Definitely have dancing! Particularly with small children, I think that's so much fun.

[Alte Veste Academy]

My very personal feelings about vow renewals is that I wonder if there was a Major Challenge that was overcome, necessitating the affirmation of the original vows. Do be aware that some people might assume there has been a crisis in your marriage that prompted this. In the absence of a Major Challenge to the marriage, I am not personally a fan. I think it takes value away from the original ceremony, in a way. I said it. I meant it. Done. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have no problem with vow renewals but would be a bit startled to be invited to one at the 5 year mark. It just seems such a short time to me. But you have special reasons that you want one. I would explain some of those reasons - at least to your closest friends. (BTW - the two vow renewals that I know of were at the 25 year mark for people who had married before a justice of the peace and had always wanted something more special.)

[jenangelcat]

I think it's a bit weird myself and a bit of a jinx. Everyone that I know that's renewed their vows were divorcing a year later.

 

Sure have a party but you've said the vows once, it's seems demeaning to the original sentiment to state them again. Doing a wedding type renewal seems a bit greedy imo.

[KungFuPanda]

My very personal feelings about vow renewals is that I wonder if there was a Major Challenge that was overcome, necessitating the affirmation of the original vows. Do be aware that some people might assume there has been a crisis in your marriage that prompted this. In the absence of a Major Challenge to the marriage, I am not personally a fan. I think it takes value away from the original ceremony, in a way. I said it. I meant it. Done. :)

 

:lol::lol: I changed my mind. If I make it to the 20 year mark without killing him I will have overcome that Major Challenge and it might be fitting to honor his spared life, and my restraint, with a ceremony.

[All4one]

We've always celebrated our anniversaries privately, when we remember them:lol:

 

How about an anniversary party with friends and toasting each other with special words instead for an actual vow renewal.

[Julie in CA]

Not a big fan of renewing the vows here (sorry!).

 

Honestly, when people do this, it makes me wonder if the vows made in the beginning were somehow insufficient, or were "voided" for some reason. I think it sort of demeans the original marriage somehow.

 

If you were my friend though, I'd celebrate with you. I'd think it was a little odd, but I'd celebrate with you wholeheartedly anyway. :tongue_smilie:

[GoVanGogh]

I wanted to go to a nice restaurant for lunch, at least, but our friends dropped us off at the motel (yes, motel, I'm talking Super 8 here) and we ordered pizza from Domino's.

You weren't the only one. :lol:

We got married the weekend before my DH took his final exams and graduated from college. We decided to just spend the night at our small hometown motel, since we were moving 1000 miles away in a few weeks and we needed to save money. Our small wedding that we had planned got cut extremely short, due to a blizzard, so we found ourselves at the motel w/o having had anything to eat. We walked across the street (in the blizzard) to Pizza Hut. :tongue_smilie:

We just celebrated our 25th anniversary. :D

DH and I talked about renewing our vows, but decided to go on a big trip instead. I have no regrets.

[sbgrace]

I've only been to one vow renewal and it was beautiful. This couple had a wedding day that was justice of peace style. This was a 25 year renewal if I recall though. It was really nice. It wasn't like a wedding at all but they did reaffirm their vows in a church with flowers and a reception afterward. I did assume they had overcome something major and still think that was likely.

 

I think you should do whatever will make you happy and I think your friends will rejoice with you. I don't think 5 years is a huge milestone in a typical marriage (for us year 15 was a true doozy and I thought around year 8 was the most common divorce point) but I get that this is also about your lack of ceremony.

Edited February 14, 2012 by sbgrace

[cjzimmer1]

If a couple chooses to do a vow renewal privately, they don't bother me. When they choose to do it publicly including sending invitations/reception/dance, it seems like a gift grabbing opportunity to me. Especially people who for whatever reason choose a small wedding, having a big party later feels like they are trying to get the attention/gifts they didn't get the first time around.

 

I KNOW for most people this is not why they choose vow renewal but that is how it FEELS to me.

 

If this is something you feel strongly that you need to do, I would do it very casually like a backyard BBQ. I would not do anything fancy/formal. But that's just my opinion.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I think vow renewals somehow implies that your commitment the first time wasn't enough (I know, I'm picky/grumpy like that.) But dh has mentioned doing it several times, in a kinda redo/better wedding. :001_huh: He talks about doing things differently/having more money to spend, while I am perfectly happy with our first wedding. :glare: Granted, we were young and it was an inexpensive wedding, but I don't need anything else. I think if I did anything like that I would add new vows that we wrote ourselves, instead of repeating the original ones.

 

But if you never had any wedding I think it would be okay to do something nice. I wouldn't wear a white dress, and I don't know about marching down an aisle, but I'm sure it could be a great excuse for a both-sides-of-the-family reunion. Flowers are definitely okay in my book. Kids could throw confetti on you or something. Congrats on the 5 years! :party: And a word of advice from someone who didn't let anyone control my wedding (and had to fight a lot of battles to keep it that way, :glare:) and from someone who is currently watching other people control my sister's wedding :glare:, and from someone who is still hearing negative things about my brother's wedding last November :glare:: do it your way, do it with your and your husband's style, and don't let other people dictate how you decide to celebrate your love and commitment.

[myfunnybunch]

I was skimming, read the questions and thought, "What an odd question. Well, they're pretty handy. W cldn't tlk r wrt wtht thm."

 

Then I realized it said "vow renewals," not "vowels."

 

Sigh. It's been that kind of day.

 

My dear friend and her husband renewed their vows in front of their church. They'd gotten married in Hawaii, so had never had a wedding with friends and family. It was lovely. I cried.

 

Why not call it an anniversary party? You can set aside a short part of the party to publicly re-affirm your committment to one another (for at least five more years ;) ). It's a great excuse for a party with all of your loved ones.

 

Cat

[DianeW88]

I think it's a bit weird myself and a bit of a jinx. Everyone that I know that's renewed their vows were divorcing a year later.

 

:iagree: I wasn't going to say it...but since you brought it up. :lol: I don't know many people who've done it, but the ones I've heard about (for something less than 50 years...I've seen a cute one done on someone's 50th), all seem to end up divorced not too long after. It sort of seemed like a desperate attempt to try and "secure" the marriage. Not saying this is the case for the OP...but it is always the first thought that crosses my mind when I hear about one happening.

 

And honestly...five years of marriage is nothing. I would find that odd. But that's just me. If the OP wants a party...have a fabulous one and do exactly what you want!

[DarlaS]

My very personal feelings about vow renewals is that I wonder if there was a Major Challenge that was overcome, necessitating the affirmation of the original vows. Do be aware that some people might assume there has been a crisis in your marriage that prompted this. In the absence of a Major Challenge to the marriage, I am not personally a fan. I think it takes value away from the original ceremony, in a way. I said it. I meant it. Done. :)

 

:iagree:

 

That is the first thing that pops into my head...

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I was skimming, read the questions and thought, "What an odd question. Well, they're pretty handy. W cldn't tlk r wrt wtht thm."

 

Then I realized it said "vow renewals," not "vowels."

 

Sigh. It's been that kind of day.

 

 

Cat

 

:lol:

[Audrey]

I think they are unnecessary and self-serving. I wouldn't go to a vow renewal ceremony, nor buy gifts for a couple who have one. Heidi Klum and her husband famously and ostentatiously renewed their vows every year. They're divorcing now.

 

However, if it is important to you, go ahead and do it.

[Donna]

I don't see them as necessary. I've been married for 19 years and have never forgotten my vows so don't need to renew them.

 

The one renewal service I attended was a neighbor of ours. They did it like a second wedding since they hadn't had a "real" wedding the first time around some 20-odd years before. Months after the renewal service, she found out he had been cheating on her and they separated. So, basically, they spent a lot of money they didn't have (since they had gone through a bankruptcy just prior to that) and said a lot of things to each other that ended up being meaningless.:confused:

[Farrar]

I'm not big on big ceremonies and showy things in general. But I am big on making your own rituals with your own meaning. So, in that sense, I would say go ahead and do it. But I wouldn't try to make it like a wedding. I would definitely try for much cheaper and more low key. But that's just me.

[SunD]

What you said, YoungerMrsWade, is part of the original problem. I totally let other people control that day, even though that sounds odd since we eloped. My MIL is narcissistic, my dad is a boor, someone said some mean things about how all my bridesmaids would be prettier than me :glare:, etc. The truth is that I wanted a dress, and a reception, and to have a special day that was just for us. I wanted to celebrate our bond and I also wanted to see everyone else celebrating it alongside us. But I felt like surely someone would ruin it, so I didn't bother.

 

I should have made it a poll because I don't have the heart to go back and count the responses as yeses or nos, but if people are going to think I'm greedy, silly, or divorcing soon, I'm not going to do it.

[mytwomonkeys]

well, my parents are going to renew their vows in a couple of years for their 50th wedding anniversary. they are going to have a wedding-ish event i suppose? i think it's very special & not cheesy at all.

 

for five years? well, i would certainly attend if you were my friend of course, but i don't count that as a really big deal. however, i understand in your situation it is the significance of the number, so i say go for it if you want too:D

 

 

ETA -my parents will not receive gifts, except from me and my sisters (as we will give the reception). as for guests, they will be there to celebrate only. lord knows my parents don't need anything! lol

Edited February 14, 2012 by mytwomonkeys

[Rosie_0801]

but if people are going to think I'm greedy, silly, or divorcing soon, I'm not going to do it.

 

Your friends aren't going to think that unless you actually are being greedy, silly or about to be divorced.

 

Rosie

[momto3boys]

My husband and I got married just the two of us because it was on his leave from a deployment to Afghanistan and his leave dates kept changing. It is something we somewhat regret because we lost my grandparents, great-grandparents and MIL within a year after and we wished in retrospect we would have celebrated with our family.

 

We are planning on a renewal of vows when we reach ten years (in three years)....we'd like to stand up in front of our family and say our vows again (I'm an only child and my parents weren't happy abou not seeing my wedding), then host a party afterward with family. We won't have gifts-it never occurred to me that people would get gifts for a renewal or think all those negative things about it. It's really just a way to celebrate our marriage with our children and family.

[Susan in TN]

I don't think I'd like to do one, but I have been to some lovely renewal ceremonies which involved the children and extended family.

[aja]

I think it sounds lovely. If it's something you want to do then go for it. I would maybe try to think of some wording for invites that would make it clear that haters need not attend. :tongue_smilie:

[hana]

I don't have a strong opinion myself, but I think I'm more a "big anniversary party" person instead. The vows have been said, but there's still much to celebrate. :)

 

But that's for me; I don't have any helpful thoughts on the OP's situation. I can understand the feeling of having missed a real wedding.

[Abeille]

What you said, YoungerMrsWade, is part of the original problem. I totally let other people control that day, even though that sounds odd since we eloped. My MIL is narcissistic, my dad is a boor, someone said some mean things about how all my bridesmaids would be prettier than me :glare:, etc. The truth is that I wanted a dress, and a reception, and to have a special day that was just for us. I wanted to celebrate our bond and I also wanted to see everyone else celebrating it alongside us. But I felt like surely someone would ruin it, so I didn't bother.

 

I should have made it a poll because I don't have the heart to go back and count the responses as yeses or nos, but if people are going to think I'm greedy, silly, or divorcing soon, I'm not going to do it.

 

:grouphug::grouphug: Just wanted to chime in that I get where you're coming from in wanting to do this. I'd say do what feels right to you and your dh, and don't worry so much about what other people think.

 

My dh and I got married at the justice of the peace, with only parents and our oldest ds there. Celebration afterwards was breakfast at Denny's. Our marriage vows aren't any less special or meaningful for that, from from it, but I admit that I've always felt a bit wistful that there was no special ceremony with all the things that go with one. We'll be celebrating our 13th anniversary in a couple of months. Honestly, I'm surprised by some of the responses here - especially the ones that say five years of marriage is "nothing", and not worth celebrating. Wow.

Edited February 14, 2012 by Abeille
corrected a spelling error

[gardenmom5]

I think they are twee, but I'm known for being crusty.

 

what's "twee"?

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

What you said, YoungerMrsWade, is part of the original problem. I totally let other people control that day, even though that sounds odd since we eloped. My MIL is narcissistic, my dad is a boor, someone said some mean things about how all my bridesmaids would be prettier than me :glare:, etc. The truth is that I wanted a dress, and a reception, and to have a special day that was just for us. I wanted to celebrate our bond and I also wanted to see everyone else celebrating it alongside us. But I felt like surely someone would ruin it, so I didn't bother.

 

I should have made it a poll because I don't have the heart to go back and count the responses as yeses or nos, but if people are going to think I'm greedy, silly, or divorcing soon, I'm not going to do it.

 

:grouphug: I've always assumed the day was suppose to be about the bride and groom, and everyone else seems to think it's about everyone else. :glare: I think in your circumstances you could do something wedding-like, as long as you're ready for dealing with family. Find someone who will fight for what you want to help you. I'm too far away from my sister geographically to be her champion. :sad:

[Dustybug]

Our 20th is approaching and I don't see us ever having an anniversary party, much less a vowel renewal service. We like to celebrate our anniversaries alone :D. From what I've seen, most people DO make it to 5 years, but getting to 10 is iffy because things start to crumble around year 7

 

HOWEVER, I would be delighted to attend a party to honor someone else's marriage. I mean, where's the down side to food, friends, and fun? (I'm assuming you won't be registering anywhere or expecting people to buy fancy clothes.)

 

I'm coming up on my 7th anniversary! Thanks for making me feel insecure! lol :tongue_smilie:

 

My very personal feelings about vow renewals is that I wonder if there was a Major Challenge that was overcome, necessitating the affirmation of the original vows. Do be aware that some people might assume there has been a crisis in your marriage that prompted this. In the absence of a Major Challenge to the marriage, I am not personally a fan. I think it takes value away from the original ceremony, in a way. I said it. I meant it. Done. :)

 

This is one reason why DH and I have discussed doing one at year 10 or so. I was four months pregnant when we got married and while we had discussed getting married before the pregnancy, it was certainly sooner than either of us had anticipated and even now, I would say that DH wasn't quite ready at the time. Our first four years especially were HARD to say the least. We've been through a ton and DH got saved and we think that a vow renewal would be like standing before God and testifying that the changes we've made are real. It's been one heck of a ride and it is but by the grace of God that we are still standing as a married couple. We aren't the same two people now as we were then. We aren't even the same couple.

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug: Just wanted to chime in that I get where you're coming from in wanting to do this. I'd say do what feels right to you and your dh, and don't worry so much about what other people think.

 

My dh and I got married at the justice of the peace, with only parents and our oldest ds there. Celebration afterwards was breakfast at Denny's. Our marriage vows aren't any less special or meaningful for that, from from it, but I admit that I've always felt a bit wistful that there was no special ceremony with all the things that go with one. We'll be celebrating our 13th anniversary in a couple of months. Honestly, I'm surprised by some of the responses here - especially the ones that say five years of marriage is "nothing", and not worth celebrating. Wow.

 

:iagree: Those comments do seem unnecessarily harsh and I balked at them as well.

[DianeW88]

Honestly, I'm surprised by some of the responses here - especially the ones that say five years of marriage is "nothing", and not worth celebrating. Wow.

 

I was speaking longevity wise, not saying that a five year marriage is without value. It is still the honeymoon stage with a lifetime ahead of you. Compared to being married fifty years or more...five years is "nothing".

 

The OP asked for opinions of a vow renewal. People expressed their honest thoughts. On the internet, you usually get what people genuinely think about something, not the polite response you may get when an invitation to attend one is extended to you.

 

A great many people think that vow renewals are silly and/or indicate trouble in a marriage...especially one that is so new. I'm guessing that quite a few people would be thinking something along the lines of, "What the heck went wrong in their marriage that they have to renew their vows after only five years."

 

Having said that, the OP should do exactly what she wants to regarding this and not worry about what others think. But if you ask, be prepared to hear some things you might not necessarily agree with.

[susankenny]

It's not that 5 years is "nothing". It's not that it isn't worth celebrating. But the topic is in regard to vow renewal, and I think those making comments only mean to imply that 5 years seems rather short to commemorate it with renewal of vows. That's all.

 

 

 

Susan

[Jean in Newcastle]

It's not that 5 years is "nothing". It's not that it isn't worth celebrating. But the topic is in regard to vow renewal, and I think those making comments only mean to imply that 5 years seems rather short to commemorate it with renewal of vows. That's all.

 

 

 

Susan

 

:iagree: Exactly.

[Little Nyssa]

I think it would be fun! as long as it's clear that you aren't demanding gifts. :001_smile:

[HSMWB]

I personally would not do a vow renewal - although I will confess that technically my DH and I had one - but our first wedding was done in a foreign country with no family at all present and then my DH deployed shortly after that, and then the renewal was right after he got back so we had a 'real wedding' 9 months after the fact. And this situation I know a number of families who have done and I don't think it is tacky.

 

But what I would do, is have a big party and invite everyone, and maybe have some really nice toasts that talk about your commitments to one another.

[Lilymax]

I had a wedding vow renewal ceremony. It wasn't marking an anniversary, but we had it a few weeks after my husband came home from a 15-month deployment to Iraq. It was several months after our 15th anniversary, and it was very meaningful to both of us. We'd had a very small wedding; there were only a couple dozen people at the renewal ceremony as well. But he wore his dress uniform, I had a pretty dress, the kids were there--it was like recommitting our family to God, together.

 

The party after was big; we had about 100 or so in attendance, with lots of food. A friend made a huge wedding cake. It was all very sweet. The years that followed were the toughest in our marriage (PTSD and other issues linked to the deployment) but we made it. We celebrated 21 years last month.

 

Anyhow...do what feels right to you. Those who matter won't mind, and those who mind shouldn't matter. ;)

[Heather in Neverland]

Instead, why not a vacation for just the two of you and you can renew your vows in a private ceremony (on the beach? by a lake? at a quaint church?).

 

That way you get the ceremony you want, a honeymoon (even if it is short), and you don't have to deal with anyone's judgments.

 

Like it or not, most people will assume the vow renewal has something to do with your marriage having recently been on shaky ground and I would rather go away and do something private and intimate than deal with people's assumptions.

[OnTheBrink]

I think they're kind of silly, but if people want to do them, que sera.

[Bang!Zoom!]

In our home, I am the cautious one. The saver, the denier of all that is frivolousness (which is basically everything beyond food and shelter.) I could never ever ever do this thing which you describe with a natural full heart. Never.

 

My problem? I am with my complete opposite.

 

Mr. Live For The Moment, Enjoy Your Flowers Now Before You Die.

 

What I've learned by giving in, and facing what really is a fear, and enjoying life RIGHT NOW is that simple.

 

I've enjoyed my life.

 

My advice?

 

Go enjoy your life. Get the Ball Gown. Have an orchestra, hire photographers, wear rhinestones, douse yourself in Chanel #5, get a new diamond, have wine, celebrate. Go be Cinderella & Prince Charming for a day.

 

Mr. Right Now has taught me that now is all we have...and he's not the type to go out having wished he'd done something and have regrets.

 

Having a special day with the people that love you, support you, a day to feel special and shine...seriously, go for it.

 

Live now.

[katiejane]

Dh and I have renewed our vows. It was beautiful and we just had our Pastor and kids there. I had flowers and bought a new non wedding dress. I think sometimes it is good to remember exactly what you committed to when you got married. I have some friends that are going to renew their vows because nobody got to go to their first wedding. I am so excited about this one. I say do it. :D

[tex-mex]

I've been married for almost 24 years and have never seen the need or purpose of a vow renewal ceremony.

:iagree:

We've been married going on 25 years this June. I too see no need for a renewal ceremony.

 

I always saw vow renewals as a public way to show friends and family of a re-commitment "vow" to try to make it work. Like affairs, separation, coma, near death, possible divorce, etc. Which was a nice declaration.

 

Nowadays, it just seems everyone is doing it, which confuses me. Like Heidi Klum and Seal doing a vow renewal yearly -- only to read they are divorcing as their marriage was not that great as they portrayed it in the media.

 

Aren't the original vows said in the first wedding ceremony (before God and audience) solid enough whether it was said in an elaborate wedding or justice of the peace office? Vows in my opinion are not to be broken and last a lifetime. God takes them seriously. But that is another subject. :D

Edited February 14, 2012 by tex-mex

[tex-mex]

Instead, why not a vacation for just the two of you and you can renew your vows in a private ceremony (on the beach? by a lake? at a quaint church?).

 

That way you get the ceremony you want, a honeymoon (even if it is short), and you don't have to deal with anyone's judgments.

 

Like it or not, most people will assume the vow renewal has something to do with your marriage having recently been on shaky ground and I would rather go away and do something private and intimate than deal with people's assumptions.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[Aelwydd]

Your friends aren't going to think that unless you actually are being greedy, silly or about to be divorced.

 

Rosie

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

 

You could something totally beautiful, intimate, and low-key, that's just about you two. My dh and I may do a renewal at some point down the road. I don't think there's anything tasteless about reaffirming your commitment to each other, and sharing that with your friends.

[melissad2]

I say do whatever makes you happy and don't worry what everyone else thinks. That said, I were to renew my vows I would do it on a beach somewhere with just my dh and my kids.

[MedicMom]

It's actually not that uncommon in my family to have a small wedding and then a larger one later on. This is what I did. There were a few snarky remarks, but I figured if it bothered someone they didn't have to show up. Both of my weddings were lovely.

 

Do what makes you happy. There is nothing wrong with having a public celebration of your love. Request no gifts or a donation to a favorite charity if it makes you more comfortable. Also, I don't know about the rest of you, but I believe that love is a choice. Every single day I choose to renew my vows to love and cherish my husband, through the good and the bad. Those promises are not ones you make just once, but daily, IMO. To repeat them again publicly is not saying that they weren't good enough the first time, but saying to the world, I still do.

 

If you look there are some vows written specifically for vow renewals.