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To find out the gender or not... what say The Hive


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So, I'm able to find out the gender at any time now. We need to make an appointment with a fetal specialist (because of Prince Nico's medical problems, the OB is more comfortable with us using him along with a specialist).

T has left it up to me, whether or not we find out this time around. We didn't find out last time.

I don't like surprises :D.

I want to buy things. I want to nest. Frankly, because of the slight concern I have for this fetus, I'm hesitant to get excited about the pregnancy. I know it's stupid of me. I hope that finding out the gender will help that along.

 

So, did you find out before the birth, or no?

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I've done it both ways. I actually liked being able to connect a name, etc. with the ones we found out on ... though I got to the point after the first two where I pretty much knew, as my girl and boy pregnancies were pretty different. We peeked on the last one, but I would have been surprised at the u/s if the gender had been different. I never fully trusted the u/s (I have a sibling who my parents were told at the u/s was one gender, but the tech was wrong), and always went with gender neutral newborn clothes, nursery decor, etc. With a group of closely spaced babies, it ended up making sense anyway, as even newborn clothes were being used yearly for a while by boys and a girl.

Edited by higginszoo
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I've done it both ways. I actually liked being able to connect a name, etc. with the ones we found out on ... though I got to the point after the first two where I pretty much knew, as my girl and boy pregnancies were pretty different.

So, is that true? That similar pregnancies indicate same gender pregnancies?

 

I had polar opposite pregnancies with Autumn -vs- Nico. I was MISERABLE with Autumn the entire pregnancy; sick, headaches, throwing up, back pain, cranky (okay, there's a stronger word). With Nico I felt pretty okay; throwing up only for a couple of weeks, only occasional headaches, a bit spacier than normal, but otherwise in a decent mood (a bit weepy though).

This pregnancy feels very much like it did with Nico, minus the excitement.

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We didn't find out for our first, and it was a fantastic surprise. We did find out for our 2nd, and I'm glad we did because I really wanted a girl, but God gave me a boy (I'm SO glad He did!!!). The time to adjust to that was helpful for me. Also, it was practical in terms of buying things and preparing his room, and I'm a planner at heart.

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So, is that true? That similar pregnancies indicate same gender pregnancies?

 

I had polar opposite pregnancies with Autumn -vs- Nico. I was MISERABLE with Autumn the entire pregnancy; sick, headaches, throwing up, back pain, cranky (okay, there's a stronger word). With Nico I felt pretty okay; throwing up only for a couple of weeks, only occasional headaches, a bit spacier than normal, but otherwise in a decent mood (a bit weepy though).

This pregnancy feels very much like it did with Nico, minus the excitement.

It can. It was definitely true for me. My mom claims that she was equally miserable with all of us, so it doesn't necessarily hold true for everyone.

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I'm a "find out early" person. I'm a planner and I wanted to be able to buy stuff ahead that wasnt all yellow and green. Also, I love being able to call the baby by its name before it arrives. My kids loved that too and I think it was nicer for them talking about "B" coming instead of just "the baby".

 

I had a friend who didn't find out, but told her dd that the baby would be C or M (depending on the sex). When the baby was born, dd was introduced to C and then asked where M was. She was very upset for several days that M did not exist and kept insisting that they were leaving M behind. Since then my friend has always found out the sex early so as not to create a traumatic experience for any of her littles :tongue_smilie:

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I don't like surprises :D.

I want to buy things. I want to nest.

 

So, did you find out before the birth, or no?

 

Seems like you have your answer right there. Do what you want and what would make you happy and comfortable.

 

We didn't find out for our first but er did for our subsequent two. DH likes to know but I honestly like the surprise better.

 

But I would really do what YOU want. You're the one making the baby!!! :D

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I've found out (they were wrong, lol) and not. My preference is for *not*. Personally, I think the baby that comes is always a surprise -- you're replacing a dream-baby with a real one (with a face, a personality, its own traits) and whatever bonding you've done with the dream-baby starts over with the real baby anyway. I think one can nest and prepare without knowing the gender. But I guess I'm in the minority these days.

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I found out with each of mine. I didn't really want to find out with the third one. I thought it would be nice to be surprised but dh really wanted to know if we would need to buy girl stuff :D . I still think it would have been nice to be surprised.

 

But in this case, you're the one who wants to know. I would say go for it!

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I'm a "find out early" person. I'm a planner and I wanted to be able to buy stuff ahead that wasnt all yellow and green. Also, I love being able to call the baby by its name before it arrives. My kids loved that too and I think it was nicer for them talking about "B" coming instead of just "the baby".

 

This is me, too - but I tend to not like surprises in general.

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If you want to know, I think it's perfectly fine to find out.

 

We never really wanted to know, but did find out on two of our four kids from late-term ultrasounds. With kid #4, we didn't find out in advance and her delivery was a bit complicated and kept the nurses/docs quite busy. DH had to actually ask the nurse if it was a boy or a girl since she was all wrapped up when he finally got to see her.

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I don't like surprises so I definitely wanted to know what we were having. When I was told my first was a girl, it seemed to good to be true.:D I even asked the midwife what the baby was after it was born. My second pregnancy felt very different from the first, but she was a girl too. :D

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I'm a find out early person because I like to be prepared. It was difficult to find neutral baby gear when I had my kids. It was nice to know ahead of time. Also, because I had a second boy, I was able to keep all the baby clothes I had stored. If I had had a girl, I would have gotten rid of them while I was pregnant to make room and buy new things for her. Because I had a second boy I was able to get all the clothes sorted, washed and put away before he was born.

I'm definitely a planner.

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I'm a find out early person because I like to be prepared. It was difficult to find neutral baby gear when I had my kids. It was nice to know ahead of time. Also, because I had a second boy, I was able to keep all the baby clothes I had stored. If I had had a girl, I would have gotten rid of them while I was pregnant to make room and buy new things for her. Because I had a second boy I was able to get all the clothes sorted, washed and put away before he was born.

I'm definitely a planner.

2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant, I got rid of all baby clothing and our beautiful, almost new swing :tongue_smilie:

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So, I'm able to find out the gender at any time now. We need to make an appointment with a fetal specialist (because of Prince Nico's medical problems, the OB is more comfortable with us using him along with a specialist).

T has left it up to me, whether or not we find out this time around. We didn't find out last time.

I don't like surprises :D.

I want to buy things. I want to nest. Frankly, because of the slight concern I have for this fetus, I'm hesitant to get excited about the pregnancy. I know it's stupid of me. I hope that finding out the gender will help that along.

 

So, did you find out before the birth, or no?

 

If you don't like surprises, then I'd say find out to ease your mind and nest away!

 

I generally don't like surprises, but I opted not to find out. I like it when people say, "What did you have?" It makes it more exciting to tell them. I also like to not tell people the baby's name before hand. If they don't like it, they won't talk you out of it or give negative comments if the baby is already born!

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If you don't like surprises, then I'd say find out to ease your mind and nest away!

 

I generally don't like surprises, but I opted not to find out. I like it when people say, "What did you have?" It makes it more exciting to tell them. I also like to not tell people the baby's name before hand. If they don't like it, they won't talk you out of it or give negative comments if the baby is already born!

Lol - boy or girl will have a family name, so there is no way anyone could act upset about it and not risk looking like a... bunghole :D

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I didn't find out for the first, and was fine with that. With my second I had a burning desire to find out, did so, and was happy. This time I want to know, but only for practical reasons. We have a lot of baby girl stuff and would need to ask around for borrowed clothes if it is a boy. I say do what you want, no harm.

 

And yes, I think finding out can help if you are having trouble bonding this time.

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We didn't find out with either because we didn't want an ultrasound and I wanted something to look forward to while in labor. For my second, I had all the clothes from the first (mostly gender neutral newborn sizes) plus I bought one or two outfits for a little girl, in case my suspicion of having a boy turned out to be wrong.

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I don't get the whole "surprise" thing. To me it is a surprise either way. The only difference is whether you choose to be surprised at four months or 9 months (or somewhere in between). Finding out early doesn't make it not a surprise - you just choose to be surprised earlier.

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So, I'm able to find out the gender at any time now. We need to make an appointment with a fetal specialist (because of Prince Nico's medical problems, the OB is more comfortable with us using him along with a specialist).

T has left it up to me, whether or not we find out this time around. We didn't find out last time.

I don't like surprises :D.

I want to buy things. I want to nest. Frankly, because of the slight concern I have for this fetus, I'm hesitant to get excited about the pregnancy. I know it's stupid of me. I hope that finding out the gender will help that along.

 

So, did you find out before the birth, or no?

 

I didn't have an ultrasound with my third, but whenever I had one, I did find out the gender. It was always obvious anyway.

 

Besides, the tech can see. I figured if the technician was going to know it, I was too.

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I don't get the whole "surprise" thing. To me it is a surprise either way. The only difference is whether you choose to be surprised at four months or 9 months (or somewhere in between). Finding out early doesn't make it not a surprise - you just choose to be surprised earlier.

 

:iagree:

 

This is what I've always said. We could barely wait until 20 or so weeks to find out. I was still surprised with each one and then was able to buy gender specific clothes, choose a name and then get to play around with that name for another 5 months to be sure we really liked it. I've never regretted knowing with all three of mine.

 

I think it sounds like you really want to know early.

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I don't get the whole "surprise" thing. To me it is a surprise either way. The only difference is whether you choose to be surprised at four months or 9 months (or somewhere in between). Finding out early doesn't make it not a surprise - you just choose to be surprised earlier.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:Seriously!!!!! I don't know how many times people have said that stupid comment to me. And I do respond with "We were surprised, we were just surprised a little earlier." I'm a planner, I like to know. I like to buy things. Pink things. Or blue things. It doesn't matter as long as I know. With my 2nd, she didn't cooperate at the initial ultrasound (and we had planned on going shopping immediately after the appointment) and I couldn't stop crying. For me, it's definitely better to find out- but it's not for everyone. Only you can make that choice.

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I love waiting. I don't want the gender announced by an u/s tech, I want it announced by my dh alone when the baby is born. That is my dh's "moment" and we both love it. I love hearing those words, "It's a boy/girl!" after the emotional process of labor/delivery. For me, it's like having the fireworks grand finale on the 4th of July (that is the delivery) then just as I think the display is over there is one last amazing, incredible, astonishing BOOM of the most beautiful firework ever...that's the Big Announcement (again, only made by my dh). It's awesome.

 

Something else I like about not finding out is after baby is here I love saying, "So this is who you were the whole time!" I don't know...there's just something sweet (to me) about carrying a life, feeling hands/feet and not knowing who they belong to until I actually meet that little persoon.

 

I did find out with a few of mine (accidentally...u/s tech slipped) yet I didn't tell anyone (including my dh). If I absolutely had to know the gender that was a fun way to do it.

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I didn't find out with any of mine. The only time i have ever wished to have known was the 3 days i was on bedrest in hospital worried sick that Possum wasn't going to make it.

 

For the others i found the reward and excitement of finding out right after birth took away all the pain i was feeling from the natural labours.

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I love waiting. I don't want the gender announced by an u/s tech, I want it announced by my dh alone when the baby is born. That is my dh's "moment" and we both love it. I love hearing those words, "It's a boy/girl!" after the emotional process of labor/delivery. For me, it's like having the fireworks grand finale on the 4th of July (that is the delivery) then just as I think the display is over there is one last amazing, incredible, astonishing BOOM of the most beautiful firework ever...that's the Big Announcement (again, only made by my dh). It's awesome.

 

Something else I like about not finding out is after baby is here I love saying, "So this is who you were the whole time!" I don't know...there's just something sweet (to me) about carrying a life, feeling hands/feet and not knowing who they belong to until I actually meet that little persoon.

 

 

Beautiful description. I 100% agree :D

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I found out with my first two kids and had a suprise with my third. I didn't think I would like a suprise or that I would be able to follow through but I am so glad I did the suprise. I loved the suspense during my pregnancy. I loved thinking about the future with a baby and that it didn't matter what that baby was. I loved trying to imagine what I was having. Once I had the ultrasound the curiousity died down. The tech didn't even know what I was having. The suprise wasn't that much different at the ultrasound from the birth but it was pretty cool to meet the baby and find out what she was. My kids each had a personilty in utero and it was cool to see not only what that baby looked like but what it was. It is hard to explain but I really liked not knowing. It was kind of special. I didn't think I could stand it and that I had to plan etc but I am glad I didn't find out with my last. It is funny because I had intuition during my pregnancy before the ultrasound with my first two that was right but didn't have intuition with my last so she really was meant to be a suprise.

Edited by MistyMountain
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So, is that true? That similar pregnancies indicate same gender pregnancies?

 

I thought that since my pregnancy with my odd and ds were polar opposites. I figured the boy horones made me sicker since I had bad m/s with him and was so exhausted but fet great with dd. Then my last pregnancy was much closer to ds's pregnancy and she was a girl. :tongue_smilie:

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Seems like you have your answer right there. Do what you want and what would make you happy and comfortable.

 

We didn't find out for our first but er did for our subsequent two. DH likes to know but I honestly like the surprise better.

 

But I would really do what YOU want. You're the one making the baby!!! :D

 

:iagree: All three of mine were surprises--to me finding out was the greatest of rewarda at the end of the labor and delivery. But you do what's right for you.

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I'm due the beginning of June and decided not to this time. Out of the three I currently have, I only found out with one.

 

The practical side of me wants to find out so I can prepare in case I'm having a boy (I gave away all my baby boy stuff but have a stock pile of girl things). Also, ds is determined I'm having a boy. It would be nice to know ahead to get him accustomed to the idea of a girl (If that was the gender he/she turned out to be).

 

I've decided since this is our last, it's more exciting to be surprised. My 5 year old told me it's her job to announce if it's a boy or girl. She's really excited to be involved.

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