To find out the gender or not... what say The Hive

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

I NEED to know. I have to have the gender so I can make clothes, nursery, and other things. I do not like the gender neutral items. Also I detest surprises...if I am going to find out anyway why wait?

[MelanieM]

Personally, I think the baby that comes is always a surprise -- you're replacing a dream-baby with a real one (with a face, a personality, its own traits) and whatever bonding you've done with the dream-baby starts over with the real baby anyway. I think one can nest and prepare without knowing the gender. But I guess I'm in the minority these days.

 

YES! I totally agree. And I feel there are so few true surprises in the world, that it's pretty special to have that BIG surprise moment of introduction at the birth. :D

 

The only time we found out in advance was with our third, at a 37 week ultrasound, because the tech pointed it out to me. But I felt I knew the gender in advance with all four of my children, and was right every time.

 

All that said, I think you should do whatever feels best for YOU. It's your baby, so go with your heart. :)

 

ETA: I also don't plan anything... we don't decorate because babies sleep with us, so there's nothing to decorate anyway. We buy whatever sleepers we like the look of, and could care less if our girls wear blue cars and our boys wear pink polka dots. We do have to pick names for both genders, but I find that to be a lot of fun anyway. :D

Edited January 9, 2012 by MelanieM

[DawnM]

I hate surprises......so I always found out. I wanted to PLAN.

[Chris in VA]

I didn't find out early. I considered it for dd, but my husband said it would be like opening Christmas presents early. :D

I had enough baby clothes for the early days, and loved going shopping for girly stuff at about 2 weeks or so, when I knew my dd's personality better. (That sounds a little strange, but it's how I felt.)

[Tammyla]

Either way. My first wasn't a clear boy or girl picture to the technician, but with ds...even my untrained eye and dh's couldn't doubt it was a boy. Nesting and shopping was fun. Seeing his little face for the first time, was still a wonder.

[5forMe]

I found out with my first four. I did not find out with my fifth and I LOVED THE SURPRISE! I often say I wish I could go back in time and not find out with any of them so that I could have experienced that fun surprise with all five.

[Zebra]

I found out the gender at 20 weeks with my only child. It was thrilling for me!

 

She ended up being born at 31 weeks, I had a totally weird thing happen to me that no one expected, and it was a nightmare. The birth was nightmarish, and so were the months that followed. I could not enjoy a moment of it because of the dire circumstances we were both in at the time. I was near death, in pain, drugged up, and too worried about surviving to even think about my dd for the first 10 days of her life. I have awful memories associated with her birth, and her first 6 months of life.

 

Finding out the gender and being happy about it for a couple of months was a time during the pregnancy that I am so glad I had now. I had no way of knowing what would happen to me at the time, but if knowing the gender will make you happy now, I would do it!

[MedicMom]

I am 19 weeks along and we will find out. I was told we wouldn't be able to have any more kids after DS, and we live in a big old house with absolutely no storage(no attic, dirt basement, one closet in the entire house), so I got rid of all my baby clothes. I prefer to buy baby clothes lots off of Ebay or the kid's consingment shops here in my area, and used gender neutral baby clothes are extremely hard to find. Plus, the grandmas love shopping, and I really don't see that many gender neutral baby clothes out there. :001_smile:

 

For me, I loved knowing that we were having a boy with DS. I found out at 15 weeks due to complications, and I loved talking and singing to him by name the rest of the pregnancy. It wasn't just a random baby when he was born, it was my Joshua. And it was as much as surprise at 15 weeks as it would have been at 40. I have my scan January 23, and we can't wait to find out. :001_smile:

[6packofun]

I loved finding out with all six of ours. There isn't a right way to do it, of course, but it was so neat to be thinking about, praying for, and bonding with a baby we could already call by name during the pregnancy. Practicalities like buying gender specific stuff we wanted aside. LOL

[Alphabetika]

We didn't find out with any of the three girls. We both love the surprise!

[teeniebeenie6]

We found out for our first three but didn't find out what the little one I am pregnant with now is. I like the surprise this time around but I don't think there is a right or wrong answer.

[MrsJewelsRae]

Ive done it both ways and both were special. With our first we were surprised, although, not really, as I just *knew* it was a boy. We found out with our 2nd and told our family and a couple close friends and got to decorate the nursery and buy pink stuff! With #3 we couldn't decide, I went back and forth but ds ended up showing the goods during our u/s in a very obvious way and I just blurted out "oh my goodness -it's a boy!" and the tech said "well I hope you wanted to find out, cause you're right about that". :) Dh and I agreed not to tell a soul, tho I secretly bought blue stuff, we don't tell anyone- not even my sister! So we still got to surprise everyone else. I am totally not a gender neutral person, we painted the nursery a light blue color that could be prettied up for a girl or be boyish for a boy once we added bedding and accessories after the baby was born and we knew the sex. I brought a pink and a blue outfit to the hispitsl for our surprise baby to wear home, and when he was 4 days old we went to the store and bought a cart full of blue or boyish clothes.

 

I've met a few vocal people who insisted that finding out the gender would ruin the pregnancy and you'd have nothing to anticipate to get you through the birthing. Honestly, nothing short of health problems with the baby could ruin our excitement, and I totally forgot about the surprise during labour due to the incredible pain, I actually said "oh yah!" after he was born when the nurse asked what it was, I didn't care, I was just so thrilled with my bàby- but it was a very special moment. It didn't take away anything from my birth when we found out, but I do think it added to my enjoyment of the pregnancy to be able to buy the baby clothes and call her by name, etc.

 

If I were to have another I'd like to either try being surprised again (tho I don't know if I'd have the strength!) or else find out and tell everyone. Do what feels right for you! :)

Edited January 10, 2012 by MrsJewelsRae