Does anyone else feel "different" from the other homeschoolers in your area?

[Donna]

Patchouli.

 

:lol:

 

I have never quite fit in around here in the homeschooling community, either. When my boys were young we tried a couple co-ops and did park days for awhile but we just didn't "click" with anyone. I haven't found any who were homeschooling for similar reasons so it really limited the conversation topics available.

 

I have a homeschooling friend who I met through this board and I love talking to her. She and her family live a couple states away so we have to work and schedule creatively to get the kids together.

 

I have thought about trying out a different co-op for dd now that she is the only one left at home but memories of the "waste of good schooling time" thoughts keep me from jumping in.

[Jane in NC]

Part of the reason that I began serving on a citizen's advisory board to my town is because of the need that I had to speak with adults about interesting things other than television or sports--the usual substance of parental conversations at the kiddo's sporting events.

 

I was so excited when my son began participating on competitive teams in things like Envirothon or First Lego League. I thought that the group might blossom into something more than the initial focus but no luck. Honestly, at one middle school oriented event, I had a parent pull me aside to question me on my religious beliefs. Apparently I did not meet her standards.

[amydavis]

I totally understand how it feels to not fit in. We do take part in a co-op here, and the people are quite nice. However, I think they would feel much differently about me if they realized that I am not a young earther, use secular science materials, and love Harry Potter (gasp). Everyone there seems to use BJU, Apologia, etc. I've only met a couple that seem to focus on homeschooling in any kind of classical manner. I mostly do the polite chit-chat, but don't really make any close buddies. So, mostly pleasant acquaintances.

 

I do have a homeschooling friend that is like-minded, but we were friends since high school, so we obviously already meshed. It just worked out nicely when she decided to homeschool, also. Her oldest is the same age as my youngest. So, we mainly still get together as friends, and do play dates for the girls. We school similarly, but since she doesn't have older ones, we don't really get together for schoolish stuff.

 

Other than that, I've met one other homeschooling mom, actually off of this board, that is like-minded. Our older dds are the same age, and my younger son is sandwiched between her two younger children. My younger daughter just makes it work, even though there isn't one exactly her age.

 

We meet up weekly to do literature with the older girls and science with the younger ones. Although, we've basically had to turn it into an all-day event, since the kids really enjoy each other. It's nice, kind of like a play date, mom time, and school - all in one! It has definitely been fabulous finding someone that has similar views, and actually approaches homeschooling from a classical viewpoint. Not to mention, she's funny as hell and the kids are great, too. Hopefully, for my sake, the military will leave them planted here for a bit!

 

So, hang in there, and hopefully you'll find someone! It can be really hard depending on what part of the country you're in. Another poster mentioned NC being versatile, but I think that's mostly in the more heavily populated areas, like Raleigh. Here where I am, it's mostly the ultra-conservative, young-earthers. So, I totally feel your pain! Good luck!

[elegantlion]

I don't fit in, either. Try being a divorced Christian who works outside the home. I either get looks of sympathy or looks of disdain from the Perky Perfect Parents. Once, after a homeschool music class concert, everyone met at a local ice cream place and all the wonderful, perfect Christian mommies started talking about going to see a movie together. Then they all stopped and looked at me, like "oops, we forgot she's here" and shifted in their seats. Rude cows. :glare:

 

 

How absolutely horrid!!! :grouphug: Mean people bite.

[Tigger]

Thanks -- I definitely want to know.

 

What do you wear to a drum circle?

 

:001_huh: I dunno?

[angela in ohio]

What about looking outside of the homeschooling community?

 

That's what I ended up doing. I do have a few friends from homeschooling who are wonderful and we've known them for years and years, but we also spend time with PS parents and their kiddos we know from Scouts, sports, etc. I had other interests than just homeschooling, and I had a different style from most homeschoolers I met anyway, so this made more sense. There is a very different vibe/attitude in organizations that aren't comprised mostly of homeschool mothers. ;) It's much easier.

 

It's the same here: the vast majority are hippie unschoolers or non-academic Christians. I am Christian, but I don't fit in the latter group, though I can fake it if I have to. :D

[Tess in the Burbs]

I totally get this!

 

We were in an area a long time and we had a few friends but we probably had a playdate with someone every other week at the most. I couldn't meet more people no matter what we joined or tried to be part of. So when we moved I was open to whatever would come and prepared for more of the same. But shockingly, I met many people right away...all willing to meet us out and about or come over or go to places. And many knew each other so we had a wonderful group of friends from the beginning of our move. It was wonderful! Then we moved back to our old area. We have a few friends we see every few weeks. Again, some weeks we have no friends over or places to go.

 

So for now I have the kids signed up for tons of stuff. No friends are coming from this effort but at least they are around other kids. And I will keep my eye out for something new to try. I don't want to do a co-op but I may have to, just to connect with some homeschoolers.

[Tigger]

I have to ask - did you move to California? LOL You are describing what it is like around here.

 

Drum circle here is down at the park in a center and the kids all drum. I think it is called the World Beat Center? There is actually more than one location I think, though we have never tried it. My kids don't sit still even for drumming, at least a couple of them.

 

Maybe that's what it is!

 

We're in the middle of Missouri though.

 

:lol: And now after a pp, I'm hoping it's not a run through the woods naked bunch of unschoolers! Whatever would I wear?

[Denisemomof4]

I relate to these posts. We're odd too. I'm an older parent, one child, and while we are christian, we're not their type of christian.

 

 

ugh. I *GET* this. :glare:

[Violet Crown]

Move to Austin. :D

 

Seriously, not only are the homeschoolers around here like fleas on a dog, so you can't avoid finding some who are exactly like you, but there's a strong culture of acceptance of the "alternate" in Austin that makes it easy for people with radically different politics, beliefs, lifestyles, and philosophies to get along well. It's a little startling to hear someome voice a criticism of homeschooling, even, because it's so terribly uncool to look like you're judging someone else's personal choice foe their family.

 

There's even a definite cachet to bringing up in conversation that you're good friends with someone who's an 'x' when 'x' is completely unlike yourself. "Oh, I know about the deer die-off from my father-in-law, he's a hunter you know; he was just at the Ron Paul rally, though it conflicted with the Pride Day festivities, so he almost didn't go."

 

It's a happy place to homeschool.

[Heather in Neverland]

I understand. I'd love to have a homeschooling friend who loves Sephora. We could get a coffee and talk curriculum while saying "Is this gold shadow too metallic?"

:D

 

Pick me, pick me!!!

 

I'm too conservative for the liberal moms and too liberal for the conservatives. And I work outside the home by choice which really freaks them out. I don't fit in anywhere.

[Dmmetler]

Yes.

[hsmom2011]

:grouphug: It's a shame we don't all live close to one another, we could form our own HS group. I too feel like a misfit.

[lailasmum]

I don't feel like I've really fitted in socially with any of our local home education groups including the one I used to run. We have got a few friends from the group I used to run but I am still not sure whether they are close friends or just people we know because our kids get on. A couple of them I could see being close friends with and maybe the friendships will develop this year. It's hard to know, but I think one of them hopefully will. I am quite introverted though and not great with people so it might be hard for them to read me. Plus none of us have money to go out and do things or time away from kids, we probably would be weeding each others gardens or feeding chickens.

 

I've had a few pretty exploitative friendships where I didn't see I was being used at the time. The kind where you move heaven and earth for others but they don't seem to really care back. I don't want to get back into that kind of friendship just because I am a bit lonely sometimes. I've moved away from those people and it would be nice to have a normal close friendship with someone.

 

I don't think it would be any different if my kids were in school though.

[Denisemomof4]

Ok, I've read through this entire thread. All the Christian comments REALLY bother me. Not because they're targeted towards Christians, but because all those attitudes and judgement, etc. I've seen so many times myself. I've seen so many professed Christians turn their backs towards someone simply because of all the reasons mentioned here. It makes me sick. I'm really sorry so many people have been hurt by people like this. I used to be a very strong Christian myself and I saw what you all speak of regularly. I do NOT miss being around people like that now.

 

While I don't have the problem most of you do meeting people, I used to when I was homeschooling my boys. I found it pretty much impossible to make friends who shared interests with them, who were "like" them, etc. It was extremey difficult. Also, I just moved to this house and *I* was lonely, too. I went to group after group, and I experienced what you all have. Most of them were groups of people who had met for years and didn't welcome outsiders, some were groups through the local church where everyone knew each other. It was hard, but I felt awful for my boys.

 

My experience is totally different homeschooling my girls. They have been a part of the same homeschool group since the beginning. Everyone is warm and welcoming, and everyone reaches out to newcomers. There are conservative Christians and moms with body piercings and tatoos who don't believe in God. We all mesh and it's wonderful. I'm probably the oldest mom there, and I have friends over a decade younger than me, while I have kids older than most, and some the same ages of others. I am so much happier being a part of the group because my GIRLS have friends. The fact that I like the women is nice, but it's not important to me. I hope that doesn't sound snobbish, it's just that when I couldn't find friends for my boys, it made me so sad.

 

I have to say, Cat, that if you're going to move somewhere where there's a larger homeschool community, I think that could be a good thing. Because my experience has shown that the older the kids get, the harder it is to find other homeschooling friends for them. Even in our group, dd is 12 and she and her friends are the oldest in our group now. There are a group of maybe 15 - 20 kids her age, but not all of them attend regularly. Most of the group is now younger kids, and I'm starting to want to phase out of the group because of this. Dd8 doesn't regularly partake due to her special circumstances.

 

It really bothers me to see how many have been judged and hurt. I, personally, love to be friends with people totally different from me. I am a farm gal, homeschool mom. My best friends are a VP at B of A, a nurse, a payroll clerk, a saleswoman. I only have one, bordering on two, really close homeschool friends, and even they are extremely different from me. One is dirt poor, extremely strong Christian, and beautiful through and throuth. The other is an extremely devoted Christian, extremely conservative, no tv or radio type person. Both my homeschool friends, who are devoted Christians, love me in spite of my lack of faith at the moment. I can only be open and honest about myself - love me or not, I'm NOT going to put on a front with close friends. I am who I am. With one close homeschool mom, none of our kids are same genders who are close in age, they all just hang out and get along when they have to but they're not friends. They have been practically raised together, though! The other, two dd's the same ages as mine and we just started to get the husbands together. This is a newer friendship, about two years old. So it's taken me 11 years to get where I am with this.

 

Some people never get to make close friends, due to their own lack of effort or reaching outside their levels of comfort, or due to the lack of effort/acceptance on other's part.

 

I'm rambling and I'm sorry. :001_smile: I know, Cat, how hard it is when you want friends for your children. I went through that with my boys. I hope you, and everyone else, can find true like-minded friends, because it really does make a world of difference.

 

I'm now having to put controls in place because we have too many activities and friends. I don't like that much either. I love having a lot of friends, but when we're homeschooling, I hate that others always want to get together at 1:00. Three days a week we're rushing to get things done so dd can volunteer, so we can go to co-op, so we can get together with friends. actually, some weeks it's four days per week. Thursdays are our only guaranteed day at home uninterrupted. I have not found a happy balance.

Edited January 6, 2012 by Denisemomof4

[farouk]

I struggle with the notion that if other families went to church less often they would be nicer people, better neighbors and more friendly. This doesn't fit reality as I would observe. (Or maybe people aren't really saying this, I don't know.)

[QuirkyKapers]

while we are Christian, we're not their type of Christian.

 

:iagree: Yes, I find it hard to fit in. I don't just believe something because others say it is the thing to believe. I have learned to keep my mouth shut. It has helped a long way to getting to know other people. :D I find it interesting to learn about what others think/believe. I am not threatened in my beliefs if someone thinks differently. I think it helps me grow and challenge myself. Unfortunately, not everyone feels this way.

 

In the past year I have actually meet several ladies who I can click with and we meet for coffee early in the morning before school starts so my hubby is home. In my experience, it is really difficult to find others who want to get together.

[fairfarmhand]

I know the feeling. I am smack in between the "oh we just school whenever we get to it." and the "intense, classical model" that would be a poor fit for my family.

 

We stay home and do our farm stuff alot, don't do tons of extracurriculars. That puts me in the category with the unschoolers around here, but we still school every day and *gasp* use textbooks.

 

We live a good life, but don't spend a lot of money on extra stuff. But my dh is an engineer in a professional environment. We also farm.

 

I'm a freak. Ok. I get it. :001_smile:

[5LittleMonkeys]

Coming into this thread late but...yes, I have a hard time connecting too.

 

We are a very electronic family. We all love movies and video games. We have laptops, computers, Ipods, x-boxes, wiis and big tvs. Some people play board games together...we all plug in and play Lego StarWars together on the x-boxes. As far as movies go, I let my dc watch movies based on what I know they can handle and are mature enough to watch. It has nothing to do with the rating. Ds5 has watched a few PG-13 movies and my older girls have watched a few R rated movies. They know it's all make believe and we've had some great discussions about the content of a lot of movies. I respect a parent's right to try to shield a dc from anything they find objectionable, but I wish they would respect my right to expose my dc to things in a controlled manner and not act like I'm a bad parent for doing so.

 

There are other little things; I have a very dry and sometimes dark sense of humor that I usually suppress because most other homeschooling moms don't get it, I'm looked at funny when I don't praise God and pray for every little thing (I respect anyone's right to do so but I don't feel it necessary to pray out loud to have a nice walk in the park, so please don't act like I'm doing something wrong when I don't), and I use secular material when I can, even though I'm Christian. However, by far my biggest issue when meeting other homeschooling parents in my area is our apparent permissive use of electronics. I even had a lady tell me one time, upon learning that I let my oldest girls watch scary movies, that she was sorry I was so ignorant to the dangers of allowing children to watch violence in movies...and how could I possibly consider myself a good Christian if I allow movies about ghosts and possessions into my home. (yeh, great way to influence someone...tell them they are ignorant and un-Christian:glare:)

 

We just joined a co-op recently, that starts at the end of them month, in an effort to meet some new people but I don't know how it's going to pan out. When we were discussing the types of things that would go on in the preK classes someone mentioned doing an activity tied to a Winnie the Pooh episode. Another woman piped up and said, "OH NO. We don't do ANY movies or tv in OUR house. I can't believe you all actually think that it's acceptable to put a 3 yo in front of a tv!" Several others nodded in agreement. Great...it's going to be a long 12 weeks.

 

Here's a few :grouphug::grouphug: for all us weirdos.:D

[Tigger]

I struggle with the notion that if other families went to church less often they would be nicer people, better neighbors and more friendly. This doesn't fit reality as I would observe. (Or maybe people aren't really saying this, I don't know.)

 

I can't speak for others, but that wasn't at all what I was saying!

 

Basically, when I note the strong fundamental Christian bent, it's that some folks really consider it their business to convert you, even when you've nicely told them you're quite happy being your denomination and are happy they're happy with theirs. I've had it said explicitly and implicitly I'm not a "real" Christian because I'm Catholic, all with a smile and eagerness to see if I'm open to going to their church - I'd never even think to say that to someone else. For some, the polite decline of the invitation suffices and we remain on good terms, for others though, it's almost like a challenge, they just keep on keeping on every time they see you and just can't bring themselves to respect that I'm not interested, thank you very much, so the relationship really is just not there, even if we smile and remain civil....they still inherently see me as going to hell because I'm not, in their eyes, a "real" Christian. I can't change that and I really don't want to be friends with someone that holds that view of me, even if they smile and make nice-nice in conversation.

[5LittleMonkeys]

....they still inherently see me as going to hell because I'm not, in their eyes, a "real" Christian. I can't change that and I really don't want to be friends with someone that holds that view of me, even if they smile and make nice-nice in conversation.

 

I have run into this time and time again. It really is frustrating when your trying to just have a conversation about teaching math and a person can't help but continually change the subject to one of helping you become truly saved, which you must not be since you don't go to their church. Grrrrr...

[Jilly]

I don't fit in, either. Try being a divorced Christian who works outside the home. I either get looks of sympathy or looks of disdain from the Perky Perfect Parents.

 

I feel this way. Being divorced in the homeschool community is such an anomaly that people don't know quite what to do with you. I have always felt like an outsider even though I have been homeschooling for over seven years.

[beaners]

 

My experience is totally different homeschooling my girls. They have been a part of the same homeschool group since the beginning. Everyone is warm and welcoming, and everyone reaches out to newcomers. There are conservative Christians and moms with body piercings and tatoos who don't believe in God. We all mesh and it's wonderful.

 

 

Wow, I wish I could see something like this. I know of a couple "inclusive" groups in the area, but I have seen some of the head women openly, aggressively attack others for being Christian in a different setting than the homeschool group. Completely vile, unprovoked attacks because some suggested that it didn't fit the respectful dialogue guideline for the group to constantly email youtube links mocking the beliefs of some members. It was pretty disappointing, and the side group later disbanded and reformed to only include those who described themselves as "radical." Yep, those same women are the movers and shakers in the inclusive groups I know of.

 

Other support groups around here don't encourage people to join until they have a child over 8, which is the reporting age in this state. I mentioned that on a coop thread.

 

We are going to a science fair next month, and I'm very hopeful that we will at least meet some friendly families. I'd settle for not hostile to my face or behind my back!

[WarriorMama]

I feel different from other people in general. :lol:

 

I'd go out for coffee with you.

 

Oh man, that's exactly what I was going to say! :lol: It's not just with homeschoolers, I seem to be a weirdo everywhere!

 

With the homeschool moms I've met, it seems to be a variety of issues. Some people seem really uncomfortable that I'm a lot younger than them (I'm a young mom in an area where people tend to have kids when they're older, so I run into people 15+ years older than me with kids the same age or younger than mine). This doesn't bother ME...but it seems to bother them.

 

Or I'm not religious enough for the Christian homeschoolers (not religious at all, actually).

 

I do too much school for the unschoolers. This is a big deal-breaker for some folks, although I swear all my other hippie, AP parenting credentials are in good order. ;) :tongue_smilie:

 

AND some folks really, really dislike me when it becomes apparent that my DD is 'ahead' of their dc. She's gifted. I am not one to discuss this because I KNOW some people are weirdly competitive and it makes them uncomfortable, but if they ask me a direct question, or ask her about the book she's reading...then they know. And then somehow we can't be friends. :confused:

 

Everywhere else I'm just weird, I guess. :tongue_smilie:

 

I don't get this highly selective friendship thing people do. Why do people want to be friends only with others JUST LIKE them and no one else? Doesn't that get boring? I just want to make friends with someone who has a sense of humour. I don't care what your religious persuasion is (as long as you don't try and convert me), how much money you have, what your hobbies are, or whether you use disposable diapers instead of cloth. Just laugh when I make a joke instead of looking at me like I have three heads, okay? :lol:

 

Catwoman, I would go for coffee with you any day of the week (And WendyK, too!). I think we could have a lot of laughs. :D

[Jenny in Atl]

I've been basically solo for the last six years, after our small co-op group fell apart. Even though there are a ton of hs'er in the Atl area, my daughter is either too old or too young for any of the near by groups, and with my oldest in school, I can't drive all day to find other like minded folks in-town to hang with. I'd love to live in a place like Austin or Seattle... really even just a better part of Atlanta, but we are stuck and trying to make the best of it.

[Catwoman]

I struggle with the notion that if other families went to church less often they would be nicer people, better neighbors and more friendly. This doesn't fit reality as I would observe. (Or maybe people aren't really saying this, I don't know.)

 

Oh, gosh -- I hope it didn't sound like that's what I was saying! If it did, PLEASE let me know so I can explain myself!

[Plucky]

I feel different from other people in general. :lol:

 

 

 

Yep, homeschooling and the other think outside the box things we do here make us different already. Then add in the average over-opinionated hser and I don't think any of us are going to be identical. That isn't a bad thing.

 

I'm at the point that I just want to do my own thing, you can do your thing. Don't pester me with your opinion on my thing. I don't care. LOL

[justamouse]

Cat, I so would do that stuff with you. I can see why they don't, though. They probably don't have the expendable cash to do it, and they don't want to feel indebted to you for paying. :grouphug: I *know* that they shouldn't feel that way, that you would do it out of the kindness of your heart, just to enjoy their companionship, but sometimes that's just the way people respond to generosity.

[Catwoman]

OK. so it's decided. (Well, I decided, but everyone has to go along with me because I said so. ;))

 

We're all meeting for coffee.

 

But first, we have to choose a central location. OK, I'm in the NYC metro area, and we have people here from other parts of NY, New Hampshire, Washington, Indiana, Nevada, Ohio, Iowa, Colorado, North Carolina, California, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Virginia, Missouri, Tennessee, and several other places, as well.

 

And Heather is in Malaysia and lailasmum is in the UK and WarriorMama is in Canada.

 

So basically, most of us are going to have a long ride. Pack a lunch, people. :D

 

And who's up for a drum circle afterward? (As I understand it, we won't have to bring anything special to wear -- according to Rivka, we can just splash on a little Patchouli and it's all good, so we might as well go for it. ;))

[OnTheBrink]

OK. so it's decided. (Well, I decided, but everyone has to go along with me because I said so. ;))

 

We're all meeting for coffee.

 

But first, we have to choose a central location. OK, I'm in the NYC metro area, and we have people here from other parts of NY, New Hampshire, Washington, Indiana, Nevada, Ohio, Iowa, Colorado, North Carolina, California, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Virginia, Missouri, Tennessee, and several other places, as well.

 

And Heather is in Malaysia and lailasmum is in the UK and WarriorMama is in Canada.

 

So basically, most of us are going to have a long ride. Pack a lunch, people. :D

 

And who's up for a drum circle afterward? (As I understand it, we won't have to bring anything special to wear -- according to Rivka, we can just splash on a little Patchouli and it's all good, so we might as well go for it. ;))

 

I'm in, but I hate the smell of Patchouli. Can I wear my Amazing Grace instead?

[sheryl]

I relate to these posts. We're odd too. I'm an older parent, one child, and while we are christian, we're not their type of christian.

 

If you lived near me, I'd go walk the mall or get a coffee. You might have to buy as I'm broke right now, but sure I'm up for a get together.

 

In our previous town most of my friends were writers and in their 20s. I'm 44. They were fun, I have a goofy sense of humor that doesn't always fit in with more stoic crowds.

 

OK, it's official then. You, catwoman and I will go out to dinner and a movie. :D

 

eta: I only read the first couple of posts....didn't realize this was such a huge thread and there are so many like-minded individuals on board.... smile....of course, let's all get together....another smile.

Edited January 6, 2012 by sheryl

[Trresh]

OK. so it's decided. (Well, I decided, but everyone has to go along with me because I said so. ;))

 

We're all meeting for coffee.

 

But first, we have to choose a central location. OK, I'm in the NYC metro area, and we have people here from other parts of NY, New Hampshire, Washington, Indiana, Nevada, Ohio, Iowa, Colorado, North Carolina, California, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Virginia, Missouri, Tennessee, and several other places, as well.

 

And Heather is in Malaysia and lailasmum is in the UK and WarriorMama is in Canada.

 

So basically, most of us are going to have a long ride. Pack a lunch, people. :D

 

And who's up for a drum circle afterward? (As I understand it, we won't have to bring anything special to wear -- according to Rivka, we can just splash on a little Patchouli and it's all good, so we might as well go for it. ;))

 

I wanna come!

Edited January 13, 2012 by Trresh

[5LittleMonkeys]

one is in the Navy and one's headed to the Army.

 

I would be thrilled and very proud if any of my dc decided to go into the armed forces! We always talk up the advantages of serving for four years in the AF with our older girls. And yes, when I tell people that I get odd looks.

[farouk]

I've felt the odd man out for many years. We're the wrong flover of Christian too, but the biggest problem is simply my age. It brings you up short when you realize that your dh went to highschool with the lady's FATHER down the road... Yeah, our dds are the same age, but I could easily be her mother. Another blip is the career decisions my girls are making--that comes back to the wrong sort of Christian. Just had someone sniff at me a few minutes ago--yeah, one is in the Navy and one's headed to the Army. I'd join you all for a cup of chai! I'll toast you from home right now with my cuppa!

 

Margaret in CO:

 

I sometimes work out in my mind how old I was when some of the folk I talk to would have been born. Kind of sobering thought, sometimes, so I know the feeling.

 

Re. your comment about Christians, it's best to read the Bible for oneself, rather than through other people, and what they may say.

[I talk to the trees]

OK. so it's decided. (Well, I decided, but everyone has to go along with me because I said so. ;))

 

We're all meeting for coffee.

 

But first, we have to choose a central location. OK, I'm in the NYC metro area, and we have people here from other parts of NY, New Hampshire, Washington, Indiana, Nevada, Ohio, Iowa, Colorado, North Carolina, California, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Virginia, Missouri, Tennessee, and several other places, as well.

 

And Heather is in Malaysia and lailasmum is in the UK and WarriorMama is in Canada.

 

So basically, most of us are going to have a long ride. Pack a lunch, people. :D

 

And who's up for a drum circle afterward? (As I understand it, we won't have to bring anything special to wear -- according to Rivka, we can just splash on a little Patchouli and it's all good, so we might as well go for it. ;))

 

Woooo-hoooo! Road trip! :auto: Just the thing to cure the post-holiday cabin fever. Oh, and I don't want to start any controversy, but do you think lavender and rose would be an okay substitute for the patchouli?;)

[Tigger]

OK. so it's decided. (Well, I decided, but everyone has to go along with me because I said so. ;))

 

We're all meeting for coffee.

 

But first, we have to choose a central location. OK, I'm in the NYC metro area, and we have people here from other parts of NY, New Hampshire, Washington, Indiana, Nevada, Ohio, Iowa, Colorado, North Carolina, California, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Virginia, Missouri, Tennessee, and several other places, as well.

 

And Heather is in Malaysia and lailasmum is in the UK and WarriorMama is in Canada.

 

So basically, most of us are going to have a long ride. Pack a lunch, people. :D

 

And who's up for a drum circle afterward? (As I understand it, we won't have to bring anything special to wear -- according to Rivka, we can just splash on a little Patchouli and it's all good, so we might as well go for it. ;))

 

Cool beans....road trip! :auto:

[Catwoman]

It brings you up short when you realize that your dh went to highschool with the lady's FATHER down the road... Yeah, our dds are the same age, but I could easily be her mother.

 

Welcome to my world. :D

 

My dh was laughing one night because another father had been bragging about becoming a particular level of manager at a major corporation, and while my dh congratulated him and acted suitably impressed, he was remembering when he was that same level... back in the 1970's. :rolleyes:

 

Most people have no clue that my dh is as old as he is.

[farouk]

Welcome to my world. :D

 

My dh was laughing one night because another father had been bragging about becoming a particular level of manager at a major corporation, and while my dh congratulated him and acted suitably impressed, he was remembering when he was that same level... back in the 1970's. :rolleyes:

 

Most people have no clue that my dh is as old as he is.

 

Catwoman:

 

No wonder some members of the US Senate act like as if: "I've seen it all before!'

 

Interesting: the word for Senator comes from Latin, meaning 'old man', i.e., one who has indeed seen it all before.

[AimeeM]

I'm a Catholic who lives (literally) across and only a mile from Bob Jones University and presses. Lol. I definitely feel like the odd man out in terms of faith and homeschooling. It took FOREVER to find a Catholic homeschool group here. Most groups were protestant and required a statement of faith.

 

I even feel a bit "odd man out" in the Catholic group, frankly.

I have a hard time fitting in with them socially since, while I am personally conservative, I am politically Libertarian and tend to take a pro-choice stance (*don't hit me!*). This matters because many of their meetings and groups focus on a very pro-life, large government philosophy.

 

So I started my own group. Apparently my new group only served to attract unschoolers :tongue_smilie:. An unschooler I certainly am not.

 

I can't win.

Edited January 7, 2012 by AimeeM

[Sahamamama]

I relate to these posts. We're odd too. I'm an older parent, one child, and while we are christian, we're not their type of christian.

 

If you lived near me, I'd go walk the mall or get a coffee. You might have to buy as I'm broke right now, but sure I'm up for a get together.

 

In our previous town most of my friends were writers and in their 20s. I'm 44. They were fun, I have a goofy sense of humor that doesn't always fit in with more stoic crowds.

 

As usual, I can relate to Paula's post. I'm also an older parent (45 in a few days), but with even younger children (5, 5, and almost 7). We are Christians, but because of circumstances beyond our control, we lost our church, and still haven't found a place where we fit in yet, though we do go to the same church each week. It's a large church, so making meaningful connections might take some time. I also think we have lost our motivation to build relationships in this town, because now we keep talking about moving -- Should we walk away from our seriously upside-down mortgage and just rent somewhere....?

 

I don't know any homeschoolers in real life. I'm sure there must be many here in Central New Jersey [shout out]. Honestly, between teaching the girls and running the home and helping out my parents (my dad has cancer) and my husband's travel/work schedule... that's about all I can handle, anyway. BUT, Paula, if I'm ever back out in MO, let's go out for coffee, my treat. ;)

[elegantlion]

 

I don't know any homeschoolers in real life. I'm sure there must be many here in Central New Jersey [shout out]. Honestly, between teaching the girls and running the home and helping out my parents (my dad has cancer) and my husband's travel/work schedule... that's about all I can handle, anyway. BUT, Paula, if I'm ever back out in MO, let's go out for coffee, my treat. ;)

 

Deal. :D

[Sahamamama]

Maybe there is something to the age thing. I'm 48 and my ds is 11, and most of the other moms with kids near my son's age are much younger than I am.

 

:iagree:Almost 45 here, with 5, 5, and 7 year olds. One thing I noticed, especially when they were all babies, was that the younger moms with babies had more energy than I ever did. Of course, I also had my thyroid out in between pregnancies, had cancer treatment, and had three children in less than 2 years, but... Whatever.

 

It's lonely, I do agree. I wonder if there's something to being "older" than typical with a certain age of child OR if it's just part of being 40-something? Perhaps it's an age-acquired resistance to vulnerability. IMO, twenty- and thirty-somethings are more trusting and open.

[mum]

It's so good to hear from all of you. I haven't made one SINGLE homeschool friend and we've been here 6 years. Not only no friend, but not even been spoken to by the large "in" homeschooling group. If one schools through a charter then one is evil (we go through charter). I wish that these ladies would understand that they won't be rewarded in heaven for keeping their homeschooling group pure, they will be shown how they hurt and left out mothers who could have really used a friend.

[LibraryLover]

There are a great number of hsers in my area, so I have found my little niche. We don't all use the same types of materials, and some folks are unschoolers. The children get along, and we have a good amount of common ground. Several of us use WTM materials.

 

There are also some folks who dont like to go out, and a couple who do. I am kind of in the middle on that. Family time is important, and dh travels. I do like to go out at times, but I have my sister for that. My hsing friends are aged 25 to 57. One of the dads is who is most fun is over 60, although this is his second marrage. There are a good number of 'older moms' here, and a good number of younger ones. That doesn't play too much of a role in our friendships, although the mothers with very young children do not tend to use babysitters often. I understand that as I was the same.

Edited January 6, 2012 by LibraryLover

[Live2Ride]

I do at times, but that's ok...I can be a bit overwhelming to people in that I have a strong drive and nature (a bit ADHD really). I love my friends and many of us are so different (only a couple of them farm like me) but the rest are city gals. I try to be a bit more accomodating towards going out with them since I know it was a choice for me to live on a farm and that they don't always enjoy that sort of thing. But they have come here as well to visit. Trust me though, I actually like getting out as I'm here enough :lol:.

[NittanyJen]

I'm there too.

 

We school mostly classical, but probably more relaxed than a lot of die-hard classical homeschoolers. But we spend more time at it each day than a lot of homeschoolers seem to admit to (very few 2-3 hour days in this house). We're Christians who consider ourselves secular homeschoolers, but I'm letting my 8YO try R&S grammar, because I heard it was a pretty strong program, so I didn't want to turn my nose up at it just because it was a non-secular program-- after all, grammar is one area where I don't think they can introduce inaccuracies through their world view too easily :). But that makes discussing curriculum "awkward" with both secular and non-secular people difficult now.

 

We play video games, but we do limit screen time. We don't allow foul language in our home in conversation, but I have no problem if they encounter it in literature and we discuss it. We shoot bb guns as part of phys ed, but I wouldn't allow my kids to play at a house that keeps loaded guns, unless I knew the adults VERY well and the storage conditions of the guns. We eat as close to natural conditions as is practical, and make our own bread, peanut butter, applesauce, butter, etc as much as we can, but I will also take the kids to McDonald's now and then without feeling as if I have killed them.

 

In short, we kinda blend in with anybody, but with nobody, at the same time. Which is pretty funny, because I feel that we have a very strong and clear compass that describes our decision making and makes us consistent!

[Mrs Mungo]

I struggle with the notion that if other families went to church less often they would be nicer people, better neighbors and more friendly. This doesn't fit reality as I would observe. (Or maybe people aren't really saying this, I don't know.)

 

I did not get that anyone said this. Certain flavors of Christians really do place an emphasis on sticking with their own kind. Other people are so heavily involved with church, that winds up taking over their entire social life. I have had friends like that, where it became difficult to see them in between their church activities. One time a friend like this and I had made plans on a minor holiday when both of our husbands were going to be gone. She ditched me when she got a better offer from her church circle.

 

Even on this board. Is there anything we all agree on? Not a darn thing as far as I can tell. :lol:

 

I think we all agree that Fred Phelps is an ass.

 

Usually I manage to make one or two really good friends and befriend many acquaintances by the time we move again. Right now I have a good WTM friend, our kids do well together, we have a great time hanging out. I have a couple of friends from when we lived here before. One has a dd the same age as my middle dd, but she also has a dd who is my age. I guess that doesn't bother us as much as it does some people.

[Alicia64]

I'd like to go out for lunch or coffee or just to stroll around a mall with them from time to time, but they won't go.

Sorry if I sound whiny.

 

I felt bad reading your post. I have friends who, I'm sure feel like you. The honest truth is that I'm full. With homeschooling, my 1/4-time job, cooking dinner, getting some exercise by walking w/ the dog and very much needing time for myself -- I don't really want to allot precious time to hanging out.

 

I sound awful, I know.

 

I don't have chickens, but I do love hanging out w/ moms when our kids are playing and having fun together. So, in co-op or at the park I love talking w/ other moms. But to leave my family to hang out with friends? No. I don't look forward to doing that.

 

I'm an older mom and I'm extremely sensitive to the fact that the years are going fast. I love being w/ my kids. I know one day they'll be off living their own lives -- and that jangles around in my brain constantly.

 

Alley

[Miss Marple]

Yep! I'm like the homeschool mom with 3 eyeballs or two heads or something rather gruesome. I don't know of anyone around here that schools like me...NO ONE knew about classical schooling in my area when I started back in 1999. More people are familiar with it now, but most of the ones I'm around don't do it, or they use a co-op (Classical Conversations) in order to accomplish it. Years ago I gave up trying to discuss homeschooling methodologies, but I could probably do it now (more people being familiar with the idea), but I'm just too tired :) And I'm much less "classical" now that the boys are old enough to do concurrent enrollment at the local university.

[MegP]

Just thinking outloud...do they have to homeschool like us to be friends? Or even homeschool at all? (this was already mentioned)

 

I don't fit in either...I have pretty much resigned myself to not having friends. :(

Edited January 7, 2012 by MegP