Too Much Emphasis on "Getting Therapy" for every little thing?

[Catwoman]

OK, I'm wearing my flameproof suit, so I'm ready to ask my question. :tongue_smilie:

 

I have noticed quite frequently on this forum (and elsewhere) that as soon as someone mentions that they or their children have a problem, there are many people who suggest therapy as the only viable solution.

 

Am I the only one who thinks that therapy is not the be-all and end-all way to handle your problems?

 

Does anyone else think that, while there are certainly wonderful and qualified mental health professionals out there, that there are also a lot of therapists who end up doing more harm than good? (It's not as though all therapists have advanced degrees, certifications, and years of experience, nor is common sense necessarily a requirement for becoming a therapist.)

 

I am not trying to start a battle here, but I'm truly wondering how many people rush right off to a therapist for every little thing. I'm not talking about having witnessed a murder or having been r*ped, or something extreme; I'm thinking of things like the current thread where therapy was suggested for a shy 6 year-old who was uncomfortable talking to strangers. (Or something like that -- I can't remember the details.)

 

It seems like sometimes people post a new thread asking for some advice on what they should do about something that's upsetting them or how to deal with some relatively minor incident involving their child, and several people essentially say that the parents aren't qualified to help their own children through a particular situation, and that they must, must, must see a therapist about it.

 

I'm not pointing to any specific threads or people here, and I only mentioned the shyness thread because it was what reminded me of the whole "see a therapist" thing, not because it was anything more than a very mild example of what I'm talking about.

 

I do want to point out that I know therapy has its place, and that it is very helpful to many people. I'm just curious as to how many people here really rush off to "the professionals" when there's a problem, and how many feel that they can handle things on their own using compassion and common sense.

 

I have a few specific threads that keep coming to mind, but I don't want to embarrass anyone, so I'll be vague. I have seen people recommend (and insist upon) therapy for children who haven't actually been molested by anyone, but who may have once seen something they shouldn't have seen, or who have had someone once make suggestive comments to them. They were immediately viewed as "victims" who needed immediate professional help, even when the moms said they could handle it on their own and that the kids didn't seem particularly upset at all. Some threads seem to end up bashing the moms if they don't agree that therapy is the only option, and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who has a problem with that. (And again, I'm not talking about situations where something truly awful has occurred and it seems that the parents are oblivious.)

 

I'm probably going to get myself into trouble with this thread, but I felt I had to ask about this.

[Lolly]

It has been my experience that therapy rarely does any good. In fact, it often has the opposite results. I don't tend to suggest it as a first step ever!

[pdalley]

I think it depends. Or we talking about developmental concerns or having trouble coping with life or what?

 

Depends on what type of therapy. My guys have cognitive therapists that work on things that don't come natural to Aspies. They have a neuropsych that handles their meds when needed. They have OT in the summer and they used to have speech as well.

 

On the flip side I spent ten years of my young adult life with a Freudian therapist that really messed my head up for years. To the point I was led to believe I had been sexually abused as a child. This makes me leery of therapy for myself. She was an enabler and I took full advantage - blaming everyone and everything for my problems but me.

 

My brother was drug through hell by such therapists in the 80's. He was inpatient three times and only now has sought out a holistic therapist for himself. He is skeptical - for good reason IMO - at traditional talk therapy as am I.

 

It could also be that being Aspie like we lean more towards the wiring of the brain and things like that and feel no amount of 'talk' is going to change that nor would we want to be changed.

 

A therapist has to prove to me they can actually help me or my kids before I would hire them. That's the bottom line.

[Nakia]

I'll keep it short. In general, I agree with you.

[Guest submarines]

:iagree: I wonder if people in real life would suggest therapy in the same situations. I think suggesting therapy for pretty much everything has become specific to discussion forums.

[elegantlion]

I'll keep it short. In general, I agree with you.

 

:iagree: And I'll agree with your agree.

[Parrothead]

Could the person in the "shy thread" have been speaking of occupational therapy instead of mental health therapy?

 

I have recommended family counseling to a couple of moms on the general board. Sometimes situations arise that require more than the advise of a group of friends. These situations have been in the extreme end of one knows that what ever one says it will be wrong. Let the professionals handle it.

 

I often feel I'm one of the last hold outs of a bygone way of thinking. My dd has sensory issues and I never wanted the label so I kind of left it with her to grow out of. It helped that we were in the middle of nowhere for many of her early years. I probably couldn't have gotten OT if I wanted it.

 

I got into hot water a while back for saying that it seemed to me that it was almost like being part of the in crowd to have a kid with some kind of unfortunate something. This was after a couple back to back thread from different moms wanting to know what was wrong with their kid. Many responses were "he/she seems like a typical ___ year old."

 

I, like you, don't like the victim mentality. But I do think various kinds of therapies do have their place.

 

I do wonder what will happen when all of the quirkiness is gone from humanity. When all of the therapies fix everyone so we are all normal.

[Cera]

I agree with you. I tend to think that therapy for "minor" things is making mountains out of molehills.

[FriedClams]

I'll keep it short. In general, I agree with you.

 

:iagree:

[justamouse]

When it comes to the board, here, if there is a subject I feel I have no authority to give advice or the questions/problems are above my pay grade, I tell them to see a therapist.

 

For my OWN life? I agree with you. More bad than good was done.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

Edited November 22, 2012 by Shari
deleting

[chiguirre]

I think it depends. Or we talking about developmental concerns or having trouble coping with life or what?

 

:iagree:

 

I've never bothered with talk therapy, but I'm very pleased with the behavioral therapy my boys have received. It's helped both of them overcome hurdles and improved the whole family's quality of life.

 

I didn't pay much attention to the shy/rude thread (sorry, I was just busy) but that situation might or might not be improved with OT. It depends on how the child does in a whole range of situations compared with typical development.

[Daisy]

I'll keep it short. In general, I agree with you.

 

:iagree: But then I also think that coming to a forum like this and expecting to get advice is a little looney. We don't know their situation. We only know what they tell us. We don't have the background information or the first-hand knowledge necessary to really help anyone's problems here. So maybe when someone says, "See a therapist," they are really just saying, "I don't have a clue."

 

I'm just more likely to send someone to a wise friend who has BTDT than a therapist with a piece of paper on their wall.

Edited January 3, 2012 by Daisy

[Cassy]

I agree too. Professional help can be wonderful when someone's really suffering, and is stuck there. But on the whole, it's all just too much navel-gazing.

 

Cassy

[Laura in MI]

I'll keep it short. In general, I agree with you.

 

:iagree:

[Sandra in FL]

There are good therapists and bad therapists. I just finished physical therapy on my frozen shoulder and had a very good therapist. My sons have been blessed with an excellent speech therapist. This wonderful Christian woman literally coaxed (and prayed over) my non-verbal son (apraxia) into the social butterfly he is today. I can't say how thankful I am to have found her (after many, many duds for my older ds).

 

I feel that it's best to seek professional help up front and early before problems get worse. The problem is recognising whether the help is proficient or not. If finances are a problem, do a few sessions, look and learn, search the internet and implement at home.

[Plucky]

I am not into talk therapy either. Dh and I did do a couple marriage counseling sessions. It didn't help, but it did make dh understand that I had reached my limit. We both tried harder, and things are so much better, but it is not from the counseling.

 

We use child mental health providers to help us with our young two kids' issues. Usually it is in the form of med suggestions, as the drs. seem to think we have a good handle on environment and parenting. I have read extensively on the subjects of adhd, sensory issues, anxiety etc, but there is always more to learn.

 

I don't think reading books on parenting is a bad thing. I know some people think highly of themselves since they've never cracked a book on parenting. I enjoy learning new ways of relating to my kids. I leave a lot of the information, but I'm happy with the things I have learned. Right now being a mom is my job. Why wouldn't I read about it?

 

Family counseling can be a good thing when a family is in crisis. When I read about angry teens, or temporary unhappy homes I do think that if regular family talking and interaction doesn't help then by all means try counseling. Relationships are hard, and sometimes people need extra help. We have not done any talk therapy with our kids, but then we do a lot of talking one-on-one and family meetings.

[jewellsmommy]

Well, my only real experience with therapy is what ds is doing. We didn't hesitate getting therapy for him, BUT he is an extreme example. We are his 4th home and there are obvious 'issues' with him. I will say that therapy is s.l.o.w. to produce any results.

 

In his case it really is a no brainer that it is needed, but a lot of it is common sense stuff (to me anyways). It is good, though, that he is getting this common sense stuff in surround sound. He gets it at home and then the very same stuff is echoed by a third party. He is in art therapy, which seems to be a very gentle therapy (read as even slower than usual :lol:). There have been a few really good nuggets of information that have helped me to understand his behavior and if nothing else, it is someone else to vent to when ds's behavior is driving me crazy.

[Scarlett]

OK, I'm wearing my flameproof suit, so I'm ready to ask my question. :tongue_smilie:

 

I have noticed quite frequently on this forum (and elsewhere) that as soon as someone mentions that they or their children have a problem, there are many people who suggest therapy as the only viable solution.

 

Am I the only one who thinks that therapy is not the be-all and end-all way to handle your problems?

 

Does anyone else think that, while there are certainly wonderful and qualified mental health professionals out there, that there are also a lot of therapists who end up doing more harm than good? (It's not as though all therapists have advanced degrees, certifications, and years of experience, nor is common sense necessarily a requirement for becoming a therapist.)

 

I am not trying to start a battle here, but I'm truly wondering how many people rush right off to a therapist for every little thing. I'm not talking about having witnessed a murder or having been r*ped, or something extreme; I'm thinking of things like the current thread where therapy was suggested for a shy 6 year-old who was uncomfortable talking to strangers. (Or something like that -- I can't remember the details.)

 

It seems like sometimes people post a new thread asking for some advice on what they should do about something that's upsetting them or how to deal with some relatively minor incident involving their child, and several people essentially say that the parents aren't qualified to help their own children through a particular situation, and that they must, must, must see a therapist about it.

 

I'm not pointing to any specific threads or people here, and I only mentioned the shyness thread because it was what reminded me of the whole "see a therapist" thing, not because it was anything more than a very mild example of what I'm talking about.

 

I do want to point out that I know therapy has its place, and that it is very helpful to many people. I'm just curious as to how many people here really rush off to "the professionals" when there's a problem, and how many feel that they can handle things on their own using compassion and common sense.

 

I have a few specific threads that keep coming to mind, but I don't want to embarrass anyone, so I'll be vague. I have seen people recommend (and insist upon) therapy for children who haven't actually been molested by anyone, but who may have once seen something they shouldn't have seen, or who have had someone once make suggestive comments to them. They were immediately viewed as "victims" who needed immediate professional help, even when the moms said they could handle it on their own and that the kids didn't seem particularly upset at all. Some threads seem to end up bashing the moms if they don't agree that therapy is the only option, and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who has a problem with that. (And again, I'm not talking about situations where something truly awful has occurred and it seems that the parents are oblivious.)

 

I'm probably going to get myself into trouble with this thread, but I felt I had to ask about this.

 

I am about to ditch ds's therapist. He spends a lot of time trying to get ds to 'accept' his dads girlfriend. :glare:

 

We had some serious issues with ds...and I am glad I took him to be evaluated...but at this point I really feel like ds is fine and the counselor is just passing time/collecting money.

[ErinE]

Assuming you're talking about talk therapy, I waffle back and forth. I've known a few people who use talk therapy to think things through. They have the money and the time to meet with a therapist every few weeks and they value that treatment. So, for them, talk therapy works.

 

However, in most cases, I haven't seen talk therapy to be helpful. Barring a poor counselor, a lot is the client's fault. Someone must want to get better and follow the steps to get better for counseling to be effective. No amount of therapy will help if the client uses the session to simply vent. The best specialist in the world cannot help a client unwilling to change.

[Scarlett]

Assuming you're talking about talk therapy, I waffle back and forth. I've known a few people who use talk therapy to think things through. They have the money and the time to meet with a therapist every few weeks and they value that treatment. So, for them, talk therapy works.

 

However, in most cases, I haven't seen talk therapy to be helpful. Barring a poor counselor, a lot is the client's fault. Someone must want to get better and follow the steps to get better for counseling to be effective. No amount of therapy will help if the client uses the session to simply vent. The best specialist in the world cannot help a client unwilling to change.

 

Yes!

 

I much prefer action based therapy. Everyone is so concerned about suggesting the wrong thing though, that there is a lot of naval gazing going on.

[Jennifer3141]

DH and I had marriage counseling once when we found ourselves in a really rough spot. And it was incredibly helpful.

 

As for going and talking about myself or my crazy family?? No thanks!! That's why I have a DH and girlfriends!!! lolo

 

And I have a 6 year old son I took out of OT and speech therapy a few years ago because I can make more progress on our own. When I realized I was paying $200 a session a few times a week, I realized I coulf build a heck of a play center in the backyard and not have to get up at the buttcrack of 8:00 a.m. :)

Edited January 3, 2012 by Jennifer3141

[OnTheBrink]

I think "therapy" is a huge word and covers many areas. I wouldn't assume if someone suggested it that they meant psychological counseling or "talk" therapy. I think "talk" therapy has it's place, but it's not the magic balm for every little thing that goes on. And, I think it's hard to find a good "talk" therapist. The ones I've known personally have done more harm than good. I'm not saying all therapists are bad, but I think the good are few and far between.

[Shellydon]

I think you have to define therapy. Speech therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy, ??? or do you mean counseling for emotional issues?

[Farrar]

I guess you have to keep it in perspective. As others have said, "therapy" can mean a lot of things. And if someone comes and asks for advice about something, presumably people who have btdt chime in and for some of them, the molehill DID turn out to be a mountain - their dd talking back turned out to be the beginning of a long road to family problems, their 5 yo flipping his letters turned out to be a lifelong struggle with dyslexia, their argument with their spouse turned out to be the beginning of a separation. And they're sorry they didn't get professional help sooner, so they feel obliged to share and point that out. But except in a few cases, I don't feel like it's the preponderance of suggestions. People share a lot more, "try this at home" kind of stuff overall, I think.

 

And anyone who doesn't take every bit of advice coming from this board with a grain of salt is looney, like Daisy said.

[In the Rain]

To keep from saying too much, I'll just say I agree with you.

[Crissy]

 

 

Does anyone else think that, while there are certainly wonderful and qualified mental health professionals out there, that there are also a lot of therapists who end up doing more harm than good?

 

Yes.

Had I continued counseling when my husband and I were in a very bad place in our marriage, I would have probably ended up leaving him.

Dredging up and rehashing every minuscule offense from our past in order to 'work through' the current issue only caused building resentment. What I wanted (and finally found) was a way to forgive and move on. That was not what I received from counseling.

[Pretty in Pink]

I agree with you, OP.

[Stacy in NJ]

out different types of "therapy" or "evaluations". Because this is a homeschooling board and folks are generally comfortable with the idea that families are capable of educating their own children without the supervision of "experts", I find it weird that the first instinct of many posters is to refer others to, well, outside experts.

 

Now, my oldest is in ps, and I have used experts as resources and have even recommended that others here do so. That sometimes knee-jerk belief that experts are really all that helpful is surprising to me, though.

 

I like to read books written by Theodore Dalrymple just to experience a real iconoclast when it comes to views on therapy and medications.

 

Here's a books he's written:http://www.amazon.com/Romancing-Opiates-Pharmacological-Addiction-Bureaucracy/dp/1594032254/ref=sr_1_18?ie=UTF8&qid=1325616967&sr=8-18

 

It's not about his view on therapy specifically, but is a really interesting read concerning his views as a physician on drug and alcohol abuse.

Edited January 3, 2012 by Stacy in NJ

[LuvingLife]

Therapy did nothing for my sister, brother and dad, in fact it made things sound worse than what they were. It may work for some though, everyone is different.

[OH_Homeschooler]

I also think therapy is not as effective as therapists would like you to believe. I believe (and it was a long time ago so forgive me for not having a cite...) some research found it was no better than placebo, or basically talking to just about ANYONE about your problem. I also think they found that depression levels were the same 6 months after diagnosis whether you were in therapy or not, as depression often lifts on its own over time. And many clinicians are resistant to program evaluation efforts, claiming they need to keep information confidential, although it is not that difficult to mask individual information to do large-scale research on the efficacy of treatment.

 

I think some cognitive-behavioral therapy for specific phobias has been shown to be very effective. In general, I think the more specific the problem the more effective therapy is.

 

Personally, I have depression. When I was first diagnosed I saw a counselor and started on an anti-depressant prescribed by a psychiatrist. After months of therapy the counselor said she didn't see the point in me continuing, and I've never needed to go back. I have noticed huge setbacks when I've gone off the anti-depressant though. (It's been 10 years and like my mom, I've been told to just stay on anti-depressants).

 

For me I think the issue is more that I'm sick of people assuming that if you are depressed and go for an anti-depressant first you are lazy and don't want to do "the work." All the work in the world won't help if you don't get your biology in order.

[annandatje]

A B S O L U T E L Y !

 

As recently as a few decades ago, insurance typically did not cover treatment for mental issues. Therapy and drugs generally were provided only to the upper classes or to the extremely mentally ill people. We were expected to deal with trauma either on our own or with help from family and friends.

 

Fortunately the stigma of seeking treatment subsided as insurers began to cover mental health problems. Not surprisingly, new DSM disorders increased around same time.

 

However, the pendulum appears to have swung far in the other direction. The danger in turning to professional counseling for minor issues in life is that such a pattern can ultimately disempower the patient in our culture of expert worship. As a culture, we seem to hold the expectation that we deserve happiness. This attitude probably is at heart of the explosive growth in counseling.

Edited January 8, 2012 by annandatje

[Excelsior! Academy]

:iagree: And I'll agree with your agree.

:iagree:

[mirth]

I'm just curious as to how many people here really rush off to "the professionals" when there's a problem, and how many feel that they can handle things on their own using compassion and common sense.

 

With jobs and economy and insurance the way it is, I can't imagine that starting therapy is at the top of the list of what people want to spend their hard-gotten dollars on. Therapy overcome a 6yo's shyness ... probably not gonna happen for many families.

Edited January 3, 2012 by mirth

[FairProspects]

Geez, for those of us who are Mental Health Therapists, this is starting to remind me of the Pastor thread. I guess all those years dh has spent in school learning his craft and waking up in the middle of the night and racing to a hospital trying to help people have been wasted.

[JudoMom]

Could the person in the "shy thread" have been speaking of occupational therapy instead of mental health therapy?

 

I have recommended family counseling to a couple of moms on the general board. Sometimes situations arise that require more than the advise of a group of friends. These situations have been in the extreme end of one knows that what ever one says it will be wrong. Let the professionals handle it.

 

I often feel I'm one of the last hold outs of a bygone way of thinking. My dd has sensory issues and I never wanted the label so I kind of left it with her to grow out of. It helped that we were in the middle of nowhere for many of her early years. I probably couldn't have gotten OT if I wanted it.

 

I got into hot water a while back for saying that it seemed to me that it was almost like being part of the in crowd to have a kid with some kind of unfortunate something. This was after a couple back to back thread from different moms wanting to know what was wrong with their kid. Many responses were "he/she seems like a typical ___ year old."

 

I, like you, don't like the victim mentality. But I do think various kinds of therapies do have their place.

 

I do wonder what will happen when all of the quirkiness is gone from humanity. When all of the therapies fix everyone so we are all normal.

 

Exactly. I couldn't say it better myself.

[annandatje]

DH and I had marriage counseling once when we found ourselves in a really rough spot. And it was incredibly helpful.

 

As for going and talking about myself or my crazy family?? No thanks!! That's why I have a DH and girlfriends!!! lolo

 

And I have a 6 year old son I took out of OT and speech therapy a few years ago because I can make more progress on our own. When I realized I was paying $200 a session a few times a week, I realized I coulf build a heck of a play center in the backyard and not have to get up at the buttcrack of 8:00 a.m. :)

 

I dropped OT and ST for my special needs kiddo too. You know what? Her family and close friends could understand her speech. She was NATURALLY engaging in activities that "reset" her sensory integration deficit problem just as I did. I understand the need for OT for someone who has lost use of certain faculties after devastating accident or illness or retardation. However, it was a colossal waste of time and money for my child. The speech problem resolved itself with time and practice. As for her SID, she does not consider it a problem but rather a quirk; I agree with her.

[ocelotmom]

I think we put a big stigma on therapy, and that most of us have some sort of maladaptive coping mechanism or other issue that could potentially be helped with the right therapy.

 

I know that, while I was doing clinicals at a psych hospital, I looked through some cognitive behavioral therapy booklets they had for patients, and learned some useful tricks, though I wouldn't consider myself particularly mentally ill. In fact, I suspect that this kind of thing is more useful to someone who is overall mentally healthy but has a few foibles than for someone with a serious neurotransmitter imbalance.

 

In practice though, I agree with the general opinion that therapy is very hit or miss, and that the wrong therapist can do more harm than good.

[Catwoman]

Geez, for those of us who are Mental Health Therapists, this is starting to remind me of the Pastor thread. I guess all those years dh has spent in school learning his craft and waking up in the middle of the night and racing to a hospital trying to help people have been wasted.

 

I started this thread, and I'm truly sorry if you were offended by anything that I said.

 

I want to clarify that I never suggested that no one should seek whatever assistance they needed for a serious mental health crisis, or even something far less serious if they truly believed they couldn't handle it on their own. I am more concerned that it seems that therapy is being recommended (and sometimes outright commanded) on this forum and others, for very minor issues that may not even be a big deal to the person who asked a question.

 

I definitely didn't mean to disparage your dh in any way, and I apologize if I came across that way.

[Crissy]

Geez, for those of us who are Mental Health Therapists, this is starting to remind me of the Pastor thread. I guess all those years dh has spent in school learning his craft and waking up in the middle of the night and racing to a hospital trying to help people have been wasted.

 

Wasted because several of us don't care for counseling? How so?

 

Racing to the hospital in the middle of the night to help someone is vastly different than what the OP is asking about.

[Catwoman]

Racing to the hospital in the middle of the night to help someone is vastly different than what the OP is asking about.

 

Thanks, Crissy :) -- I definitely wasn't talking about "big" stuff that would require racing to the hospital in the middle of the night, and was sorry to hear that FairProspects misread my intentions.

[Renee in NC]

In my case, therapy with a highly qualified psychologist has been immensely helpful and continues to be something positive in my life. So much so, that I make sacrifices in order to be able to pay for it.

 

My life is 100 times better for it. If nothing else is has helped me undo years of bad internet advice!:lol:

 

However, I don't suggest therapy is for everyone. I imagine if you feel that therapy is "navel gazing" then it wouldn't be helpful for you.;)

[Jennifer3141]

Thanks, Crissy :) -- I definitely wasn't talking about "big" stuff that would require racing to the hospital in the middle of the night, and was sorry to hear that FairProspects misread my intentions.

 

 

It's so easy to look at comments on here as a personal attack when they really AREN'T.

 

I'm waiting for the healthcare thread to start bashing doctors because it will at some point and there are some BAD doctors out there defrauding the heck out of the system. That won't mean my DH is one of them though. :lol:

 

(He actually rats out the ones that do!! :D )

[cin]

Geez, for those of us who are Mental Health Therapists, this is starting to remind me of the Pastor thread. I guess all those years dh has spent in school learning his craft and waking up in the middle of the night and racing to a hospital trying to help people have been wasted.

 

I think your misreading. I think we are talking about people who have a hangnail vs a person who has their finger cut off. For a hangnail, you don't need to go the ER, or even the doctor.

 

What we are seeing today in society is people with hangnails running off to the nearest ER. There are people out there for whom therapy, whether it be speech, occupational, or psycho, that is much needed. There are people who are doing it just because it seems the 'in' thing to do.

 

I also think that we need to be careful in judging people who are going to therapy. My daugher has PDD-NOS. We are in OT and Psychotherapy (or counseling, however you want to define it). To watch her, you would thing she is perfect and that I would fall into the latter category but they have helped her immensely, and helped ME work with her.

 

I do think therapy has become the newest 'thing'.

[Melissa in NC]

I agree. (Excluding the need for hospitalization.)

[Cassy]

In my case, therapy with a highly qualified psychologist has been immensely helpful and continues to be something positive in my life. So much so, that I make sacrifices in order to be able to pay for it.

 

My life is 100 times better for it. If nothing else is has helped me undo years of bad internet advice!:lol:

 

However, I don't suggest therapy is for everyone. I imagine if you feel that therapy is "navel gazing" then it wouldn't be helpful for you.;)

 

Hi Renee, it was me who mentioned 'navel-gazing'. I also said that professional help can be wonderful; I know that from experience :001_smile:. I think this thread is more about the tendency to pathologise every small human frailty. I do believe there is an important place for therapy and therapists in our lives, I also feel that some people just take it to extremes.

 

I'm very glad that you're finding your therapist beneficial, we only have one life and it's good to learn how to live it to the full.

 

Best wishes

 

Cassy

[Virg]

IRL our 4 kids have been told they "need" therapy for at least 5-6 things EACH by drs and therapists/psych. We have tried them. They honestly made our life so much crazier trying to get to all of the appts. I have found our kids have made much more progress at home with us working on things we have researched or just know works for our kids.

 

That is not to say that therapy might not be helpful for some of the issues but it made it worse for several (ODD for example). Others I think were just a waste of time. I could have done the same thing at home without leaving the house. PS speech therapy I felt the same way about, they worked on pronouncing things and using correct grammar. I do that all day long lol. 8 years of it (starting at age 3) and he still test at the same percentile <1%. Private speech therapy is the only therapy we have used that I couldn't have done at home and/or actually helped.

 

Most of the time emotional therapy does not include parents enough so that the issue can be worked on all week long. OT and PT have been the best I have seen (with friends' children) that really works with the parents and what they can do at home and connects it all together so there is consistency.

 

This is also not to say that some families might need therapy that we didn't. All families are different. I had MAJOR struggles as a teenager with anorexia and severe depression so I am able to teach my children how to talk through their feelings, what thinking fallacies they are using, and how to do cognitive and dialectical behavior therapy at home. I also have the advantage of having relationships with my kids that enables them to truly talk freely to me. (Not by anything I have done necessarily! I was just very blessed!) But for us, in our house, I have found most therapy to be a waste of time.

[Hilltop]

I'll keep it short. In general, I agree with you.

 

:iagree:

[pageta]

Our ds was way behind in speech - missed the milestone of 50 word vocabulary and 2 word sentences by age 2 (he had only said about ten words). A friend of my parents who was a speech therapist saw him one evening and strongly recommended speech therapy, occupational therapy AND physical therapy for him. We held out and said that he was just a thinker, not one to jabber. He understood us perfectly so we knew it wasn't a hearing problem.

 

We mentioned it to our physician who said of his thirteen(!) kids, the oldest was the last to speak and they couldn't understand him until he was four, but of all his children, he thinks that boy is the most intelligent (probably because he listens a lot).

 

So we did nothing. By the time ds reached school age, he was still the quiet child, but his vocabulary was fine, he reads well, and quite frankly, there are times when he won't shut up and we wish he was the quiet child we once had.

 

I have benefited from therapy during high school and college, but I learned a lot of thinking skills with that which I think have helped me stay away from therapy since (I've learned how to nip my depression in the bud before it takes me down). So I am not anti-therapy. But I do very much agree that in our society it is way over-prescribed.

 

I mean, take autism, which is another thing people were suspicious of in ds, but I had a friend with an autistic child and what we were dealing with didn't even register on the scale against what she was dealing with. DH and I went through the "symptoms" of autism that we found in various places online, and we could not think of a single family member (immediate and extended family) who didn't have at least a couple of the characteristics mentioned. Autism is taking normal things to an extreme, and none of our family members take those things to an extreme, but they still had "symptoms" of autism just as ds did. I still don't think ds has autism, though I have another friend whose seemingly normal child was in special ed for autism and all sorts of things they had managed to diagnose.

 

In today's society, I think if you do something that someone else finds a bit irritating or "not normal," you can find not only a diagnosis for it but a therapist who would be happy to treat you for it as well. I have had a great experience with the small bit of therapy I have had, but I think as a general rule our society goes way overboard in our need for and use of therapists. Either that or we're all just losing our minds...

[NotSoObvious]

I used to feel the same way you do.

 

Then I adopted two kids from foster care.