Carpe Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Every year in an attempt to keep gifts secret, my DH and I make up alternate gifts that we claim to have bought. He's really pestering me and I run out of ideas. His real gift was approximately $300 and he knows it (joint account). I've suggested sausage of the month club, a subwoofer, plastic slip covers for the all the furniture, a custom kilt, hubcaps, 6 wool sweaters, a diaper cake of adult diapers and a mail-order bride. And now I'm out of ideas. Does anyone have any ridiculous things I can claim to be giving DH? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 I have no idea but I love your list!!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Bacon. $300 worth of bacon. Toothpicks,....a lot of them! Lunch with the cast of Full House. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 I have informed my DH this year that he is receiving a "kick in the butt" and if he gets anything under the tree, it's a bonus. I have no idea what you can claim, but I do love your list so far! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Drum set! Underbody lighting for his vehicle (my boys want to get this for dh LOL) Spa weekend - including waxing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 A new furnace (as a nod to Christmas Story) or a floor waxer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Stock in a paperclip company Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 an ice cream freezer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Netbook Weaving loom A harp Drum set Full set of Wolfgang Puck stainless steel cookware Trampoline New fake Christmas tree Wall-to-wall bookshelves Deep freezer Smartphone One year supply of Bisquick Three year supply of incandescent bulbs The entire set of all LOTR and HP movies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 A puppy? :p I wouldn't bother making it realistic if he was pestering me that much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 maid service for a few months, so you can better cater to his needs when he's home. :tongue_smilie: amazon's book of the week program. (no there isn't one) tie of the month club riding lessons at a local stable A Richard Petty driving experience (although that is too cool!) a personally autograph item from Mike Rowe a stuffed alligator alligator boots a set of really cool bumper stickers for the car ballroom dancing lessons for you and him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carpe Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 :lol: These are great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amey311 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Maid service 5 harp lessons a private vegan chef (my meat and cheese loving DH would find this ridiculous) tacos. a LOT of tacos. gravel socks and underwear for the next 5 christmases the pickle of the month club (yes, it does exist) explain that you went for the premium package professional garage organizer service supersonic tool cleaning (i'm not sure that's the right word - that thing at the jewelry store where they put your ring in and it shakes in that fluid?) a few things from here: http://www.victoriassecret.com/bras/very-sexy?pageAt=all (ADULT) a madagascar hissing cockroach complete tank set up and 10 cockroaches to get him started with his new pet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lacie Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 beaded seat covers for his vehicle gun rack for vehicle beginners magic kit season tickets to his least favorite team (baseball, football, basketball... whatever) homestead lot on the moon poetry classes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 violin + lessons drum set one way ticket across the country ;) (since it's a joke :D) fancy purse briefcase tux Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :lol: You guys are hilarious!! This thread is too much fun!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Chia pet New bumpers for his car lifetime supply of Just For Men haircolor the lamp from Christmas Story, full size, not the one from Walgreens a GIANT universal remote bookshelf for the bathroom liposuction and botox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amey311 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Chia pet Ch-ch-ch-chia! What about a chai sculpture of his own face. I think i might tell DH I got that for him (he shaves his head). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Naming rights to a star. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 now I'm worried someone suggests the real gift as a joke... a remote control helicopter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 new tires new door for the house lots of coupons for McDonalds wii and games silverware and new dishes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MtnTeaching Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 National Flower Show Tour tickets Disco ball Suit of Armor (Since he is your Knight in Shining...):001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 A Bill Cosby sweater: http://www.observer.com/2008/cosby-sweaters-sale-0 (It's way more then 300 dollars, but how would he know that) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Spanx for Men Viagra Rogaine (because you've noticed that his hair is starting to get pretty thin... way in the back where he can't see it...) A romantic weekend for one in Paterson, New Jersey A bunch of stuff that he probably won't like but that just happen to be things that you like, so it's all good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 A canoe or a fancy, papered frou-frou dog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 All the bacon items from thinkGeek.com Desk size Enterprise model power tools!!! season tickets to the opera Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 now I'm worried someone suggests the real gift as a joke... I think she'd better tell us what the real gift is. Not so much because of the jokes, but because I'm nosy. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 $300 worth of kilts;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 season tickets to the opera My dh would love that. He'd be so disappointed when he found out I was just kidding. And believe me, I'd be kidding, because I have done the season tickets thing for the ballet and the opera, and after a while, it all got pretty tedious for me. I know. I need more culture. But I'd rather be shopping and eating out... :001_rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 New b00ks Complete works of Jane Austin on CD Membership for a year to Oprah's bookclub socks from llamas only found in the Himalayan Mountains Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Ballroom dance lessons? Rent-a-Clown? Bounce house? Spa Day? Sailing lessons? Hotel suite? Or my favorite: "You'll get nothing and like it!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 New b00ksComplete works of Jane Austin on CD Membership for a year to Oprah's bookclub socks from llamas only found in the Himalayan Mountains I wouldn't condone taking the Llamas' socks. It's cold in the himillayas and they NEED them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShutterBug Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 If dh pestered me even one ounce I'd tell him his real gift in a heartbeat and let him be disappointed on Christmas :)...but I also have very little, if any patience for anyone (let alone a 37 year old adult) pestering me as to what I've bought them for a gift :tongue_smilie:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleWMN Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 a fur coat a year's supply of pickles a goat a maid a go-cart a gold-plated nose trimmer a 6 foot stocking full of Twinkies season passes to a water park an iguana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigger Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 a roomba so he can help clean the house more ugly sweater of the month club subscription a lucky horseshoe basket weaving classes a cut your own hair class nose hair clippers and mirror a pony the complete collection of finding big foot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 A few ideas here: http://www.theage.com.au/entertainment/tis-the-season-for-krap-kringle-20111220-1p3fa.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3peasinapod Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :lol: Hilarious! I giggled the whole way through. I vote for telling us what it really is too! How about... -Underwear of the month club -Stuffed alligator -One-piece body building suit with real fur trim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amie Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 ~Plane ticket to visit his mother. (ok, maybe this would only be hilarious at my house) ~You named a star after him. ~You found a great deal on a used, but refurbished, hot tub for the back yard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 My ds is 4 and can't keep a secret very well. So I've been telling him that if Daddy asks what he is getting for Christmas to tell him "banana-pants". Ds learned that silly word from Dora and it's his favorite silly reply.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 a case of beef jerky. a post hole digger a black Angus steer (actually that would be more like 600, but if you are not farming people he will never know!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iucounu Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 An Ashley Madison subscription? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 A "Man-Groomer" designed to help men shave their own back hair. It really exists. :) Love this one! You're all so funny! How about: an adult sized bouncy castle a gift certificate to Victoria's Secret a year's supply of mayonnaise curriculum lessons so he can help you plan a set of hand embroidered Christmas oven mitts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 (edited) A case of Chia Herb Gardens A diamond-studded Snuggie A day with Regis Philbin A cake that looks like him (thinking of the bride cakes from CakeWrecks) His boss tied up with a bow and delivered on Christmas Eve (think National Lampoon's) $300 in nickels Whenever my dc are asked what they want or what they are getting someone, they say, "$40, a sailboat, and a chinchilla." I can't remember where they got it from. Edited December 21, 2011 by angela in ohio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Socks. A lifetime supply. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I would have pegged it for something different! :lol: A "Man-Groomer" designed to help men shave their own back hair. It really exists. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Well, we are just lying.....so no harm done. They can keep their socks. I wouldn't condone taking the Llamas' socks. It's cold in the himillayas and they NEED them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carpe Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 I would tell you, but he does occasionally come here and I don't want him to find out. But I will say someone did mention it already. I apologize for the stress that may cause some of you and hunny if you're reading this you deserve it! It's the gold plated back hair trimmer. :lol: Honestly I think I have more hair on one leg than DH has on his whole body. I think I'm going to go with chest hair wig next. Hand tufted, of course, with real human hair! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 But I will say someone did mention it already. Oh. My. Gosh. You bought him the bacon, didn't you? :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carpe Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 Oh. My. Gosh. You bought him the bacon, didn't you? :eek: :lol: He might kill me! He's a butcher and makes fantastic bacon at work. I think he would react worse to finding out I bought other bacon than if he thought I were having an affair! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 :lol: I am so loving coming to check on this thread!! I am rolling here!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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