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I need help lying to DH

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Every year in an attempt to keep gifts secret, my DH and I make up alternate gifts that we claim to have bought. He's really pestering me and I run out of ideas.


His real gift was approximately $300 and he knows it (joint account).


I've suggested sausage of the month club, a subwoofer, plastic slip covers for the all the furniture, a custom kilt, hubcaps, 6 wool sweaters, a diaper cake of adult diapers and a mail-order bride.


And now I'm out of ideas. Does anyone have any ridiculous things I can claim to be giving DH?

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maid service for a few months, so you can better cater to his needs when he's home. :tongue_smilie:


amazon's book of the week program. (no there isn't one)


tie of the month club


riding lessons at a local stable


A Richard Petty driving experience (although that is too cool!)


a personally autograph item from Mike Rowe


a stuffed alligator


alligator boots


a set of really cool bumper stickers for the car


ballroom dancing lessons for you and him

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Maid service

5 harp lessons

a private vegan chef (my meat and cheese loving DH would find this ridiculous)

tacos. a LOT of tacos.


socks and underwear for the next 5 christmases

the pickle of the month club (yes, it does exist) explain that you went for the premium package

professional garage organizer service

supersonic tool cleaning (i'm not sure that's the right word - that thing at the jewelry store where they put your ring in and it shakes in that fluid?)

a few things from here: http://www.victoriassecret.com/bras/very-sexy?pageAt=all (ADULT)

a madagascar hissing cockroach complete tank set up and 10 cockroaches to get him started with his new pet.

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Spanx for Men




Rogaine (because you've noticed that his hair is starting to get pretty thin... way in the back where he can't see it...)


A romantic weekend for one in Paterson, New Jersey


A bunch of stuff that he probably won't like but that just happen to be things that you like, so it's all good.

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season tickets to the opera


My dh would love that. He'd be so disappointed when he found out I was just kidding.


And believe me, I'd be kidding, because I have done the season tickets thing for the ballet and the opera, and after a while, it all got pretty tedious for me.


I know. I need more culture. But I'd rather be shopping and eating out... :001_rolleyes:

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A "Man-Groomer" designed to help men shave their own back hair. It really exists. :)


Love this one!


You're all so funny!


How about:


an adult sized bouncy castle


a gift certificate to Victoria's Secret


a year's supply of mayonnaise


curriculum lessons so he can help you plan


a set of hand embroidered Christmas oven mitts

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A case of Chia Herb Gardens


A diamond-studded Snuggie


A day with Regis Philbin


A cake that looks like him (thinking of the bride cakes from CakeWrecks)


His boss tied up with a bow and delivered on Christmas Eve (think National Lampoon's)


$300 in nickels


Whenever my dc are asked what they want or what they are getting someone, they say, "$40, a sailboat, and a chinchilla." I can't remember where they got it from.

Edited by angela in ohio
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I would tell you, but he does occasionally come here and I don't want him to find out. But I will say someone did mention it already. I apologize for the stress that may cause some of you and hunny if you're reading this you deserve it!


It's the gold plated back hair trimmer. :lol: Honestly I think I have more hair on one leg than DH has on his whole body.


I think I'm going to go with chest hair wig next. Hand tufted, of course, with real human hair!

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Oh. My. Gosh.


You bought him the bacon, didn't you? :eek:


:lol: He might kill me! He's a butcher and makes fantastic bacon at work. I think he would react worse to finding out I bought other bacon than if he thought I were having an affair!

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