Please do NOT tell me when your dh is getting a vasectomy.

[Garga]

I now have 5 friends who have told me about their husbands getting a vasectomy. And then they tell me about picking up bags of peas for their husbands to use during their recovery.

 

I really DO NOT want to know something that personal about your husband. At all. Ever. And I will never eat peas at any of their houses ever again.

 

 

That's all.

[Impish]

:smilielol5:

[newlifemom]

The only one I know about is the the friends where we watched their children during the proceedure. Thankfully, I don't eat peas. :lol:

[MariannNOVA]

I agree with you totally --:lol: -- but I must add my personal remark:

 

at least those wives KNOW their dh is getting a vasectomy. The X never told me he was getting one. I came home from getting the girls at school and he was lying on the sofa in pain with an ice pack. If he had wanted to 'hurt', I would have been perfectly capable of helping him.:toetap05:

 

Really -- I'm not making it up.

[Garga]

I agree with you totally --:lol: -- but I must add my personal remark:

 

at least those wives KNOW their dh is getting a vasectomy. The X never told me he was getting one. I came home from getting the girls at school and he was lying on the sofa in pain with an ice pack. If he had wanted to 'hurt', I would have been perfectly capable of helping him.:toetap05:

 

Really -- I'm not making it up.

 

Oh wow! That's really bad! No wonder he's an ex.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I now feel like I will have to have a disclaimer if I ever serve peas to guests: "These peas have never been used for therapeutic purposes of any kind."

[SonshineLearner]

I now feel like I will have to have a disclaimer if I ever serve peas to guests: "These peas have never been used for therapeutic purposes of any kind."

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[nmoira]

I now have 5 friends who have told me about their husbands getting a vasectomy. And then they tell me about picking up bags of peas for their husbands to use during their recovery.

 

I really DO NOT want to know something that personal about your husband. At all. Ever. And I will never eat peas at any of their houses ever again.

 

 

That's all.

:D

 

It's a right of passage in our social circle, with the new guys getting welcomed into "the club." The ritual usually involves a big screen TV.

[kchara]

:lol:

[~Tara~]

I now feel like I will have to have a disclaimer if I ever serve peas to guests: "These peas have never been used for therapeutic purposes of any kind."

 

*like*

:lol:

[dakarimom5]

We used lima beans...for his reversal!!:D So maybe its peas for the vasectomy and limas for the reversal?

[MindyD]

I don't know...if people can ask me if we're "done" or when we're having another one or tell us it's about TIME that we had another one, then I can tell them about dh's little procedure. :)

 

And I will never think of peas the same way when I have dinner at someone's house!

[PentecostalMom]

:lol::lol::lol:

[happypamama]

I'm pretty sure that permanent measures are not mine and DH's cup of tea (or is that teA?), but I do remember growing up that my brothers routinely used bags of frozen peas for sports aches and pains. I'm also pretty sure I used them as part of the "let's try to turn the breech baby" routine, putting them on the top of my uterus, because supposedly they don't like the cold and will flip away from it.

 

But yeah, it seems like an awfully private thing to share with people. (And I am so sorry for the poster whose exH didn't tell her! I'd be crushed if DH did that to me.)

[abbeyej]

Meh. It's so common among my friends, no one bats an eye. I'm afraid hearing about it doesn't bother me nearly as much as knowing which of my friend's husbands shaves his legs. ;) (It's sports-related, lol.)

[*Inna*]

:lol:

[Impish]

I think...uh...'decaf' TeA is reason for some to celebrate...perhaps that's why? A misplaced sense of 'whoopee!'?

 

*snort*

[PinkInTheBlue]

LOLOL!!! Good point!! So often too much info is just TMI! LOL

[Hedgehog]

I think...uh...'decaf' TeA is reason for some to celebrate...perhaps that's why? A misplaced sense of 'whoopee!'?

 

*snort*

 

Imp.. you've done it again :D :smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

[blakereese]

Oh man. I will never be able to eat peas again. :lol:

 

:lol:

 

Come on guys, don't ruin peas for me! :glare:

 

I love them. Really.

 

If DH ever does the snip, I think I'll have him use tater tots, or something nasty like that. :lol:

[Caroline]

Meh. It's so common among my friends, no one bats an eye. I'm afraid hearing about it doesn't bother me nearly as much as knowing which of my friend's husbands shaves his legs. ;) (It's sports-related, lol.)

 

:iagree:

[Ginevra]

I now have 5 friends who have told me about their husbands getting a vasectomy. And then they tell me about picking up bags of peas for their husbands to use during their recovery.

 

I really DO NOT want to know something that personal about your husband. At all. Ever. And I will never eat peas at any of their houses ever again.

 

 

That's all.

 

I feel the same way, Garga! I *detest* receiving this information.

[tex-mex]

I now feel like I will have to have a disclaimer if I ever serve peas to guests: "These peas have never been used for therapeutic purposes of any kind."

:ack2: "Um. No thank you." LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Julie Smith]

We told people when dh got teAed off. We did have a reason. My dh bikes to work, and you aren't allowed to bike for 2 weeks afterwards. So for two weeks we had to work around car sharing, and everyone of course asked why dh just didn't bike to work.

 

The best was when the neighbor had it done. His little boy yelled out to me, "my dad isn't allowed to come outside. He just had his wiener cut off".

 

And for the poster whose X had it done without discussing it. That's what my MIL did. She only wanted 2kids. FIL wanted 4 kids. Mil won.

[Britomart]

But, but . . . if you used peas for that purpose, they'd defrost. Do people really put them back in the freezer after that?

 

I mean, maybe put them back in the freezer, specially marked as "for pain relief only" so you could use them for an ice pack again later in the day . . . but let them defrost and then freeze and then cook them? really? Ew . . . that's really not the same as peas that have defrosted a bit on the way home from the store . . .

 

Leave alone the ick-factor of eating something that's been used for such a not-food-related purpose - it just doesn't seem like good food safety.

 

Again, ew . . .

[Ginevra]

And for the poster whose X had it done without discussing it. That's what my MIL did. She only wanted 2kids. FIL wanted 4 kids. Mil won.

 

That is truly the worst betrayal to me. So is sabotaging BC without telling the spouse. Nobody should be permanently committed to or prevented from children against their knowledge or will.

[SBMama]

The best was when the neighbor had it done. His little boy yelled out to me, "my dad isn't allowed to come outside. He just had his wiener cut off".

 

:lol:

[Impish]

That is truly the worst betrayal to me. So is sabotaging BC without telling the spouse. Nobody should be permanently committed to or prevented from children against their knowledge or will.

:iagree::iagree:

[Jean in Newcastle]

I had a situation where a woman asked me if getting her tubes tied would be a sin. As far as my beliefs go, the answer is "no" and I told her that. She had them tied without her dh's knowledge and then told him that I had told her to do it.:cursing: Talk about feeling used. . . and I'm sure his feelings were even more raw. They are no longer married though that was only one small part of it.

[Truscifi]

But, but . . . if you used peas for that purpose, they'd defrost. Do people really put them back in the freezer after that?

 

I mean, maybe put them back in the freezer, specially marked as "for pain relief only" so you could use them for an ice pack again later in the day . . . but let them defrost and then freeze and then cook them? really? Ew . . . that's really not the same as peas that have defrosted a bit on the way home from the store . . .

 

Leave alone the ick-factor of eating something that's been used for such a not-food-related purpose - it just doesn't seem like good food safety.

 

Again, ew . . .

 

Well, dh has been snipped (yet) but we found a bag of frozen peas molded perfectly to his knee after his knee surgery. They do thaw, and we didn't cook them. We marked them so he would remember which bag was his "ice pack" and they became animal food afterward. I can't imagine how mushy they would be after repeated thawing and refreezing, plus the...unsanitariness (you know what I mean). Yuck!

[Audrey]

I feel the same way, Garga! I *detest* receiving this information.

 

 

Me too. I don't think it's something one shares in polite company, or any company, for that matter. When ladies start to talk about this subject, I always put up a hand and say "Bless your heart for sharing! Let's talk about the weather, shall we?" :D

[Ginevra]

Me too. I don't think it's something one shares in polite company, or any company, for that matter. When ladies start to talk about this subject, I always put up a hand and say "Bless your heart for sharing! Let's talk about the weather, shall we?" :D

 

:D Good strategy! One who was telling me was the actual guy! I felt like saying, "I'm sorry to hear that." :tongue_smilie: I think he was trying to be okay with it because he was giving me some big explanation of why he thought it best to get a V, etc. I just felt like sticking my fingers in my ears and going, "LALALALALA!"

[GWOB]

I don't really feel comfortable sharing that information in casual company, but there are times where I've been put on the spot. For instance, talking to a group of women about babies and being asked if/when we were going to have another. I stick with the "It would take an act of God" comment. If we are with really good firends, I have been know to reply with "I've had my pet spayed or neutered." I have a weird sense of humor.

[Peela]

It doesn't bother me but I do get a sort of dark glee from sharing my dh's story with guys who are booked in, which went so far past needing a bag of frozen peas its funny- in retrospect of course. At the time it was weeks and weeks of trauma and drama and a subsequent hospital visit a couple of months later to drain the ...large amounts of swelling and the ...large hematoma that had formed. Its worth stopping taking your Vitamin E (anticoagulant) well before the operation AND actually resting for the rest of the day, guys, not giving a massage then fainting- no matter how tough you think you are :)

[Tammyla]

:iagree: And please don't update me later; cause I just don't want to know that information tyvm.

 

I now have 5 friends who have told me about their husbands getting a vasectomy. And then they tell me about picking up bags of peas for their husbands to use during their recovery.

 

I really DO NOT want to know something that personal about your husband. At all. Ever. And I will never eat peas at any of their houses ever again.

 

 

That's all.

Edited April 25, 2011 by Tammyla

[kalanamak]

I agree with you totally --:lol: -- but I must add my personal remark:

 

at least those wives KNOW their dh is getting a vasectomy. The X never told me he was getting one. I came home from getting the girls at school and he was lying on the sofa in pain with an ice pack. If he had wanted to 'hurt', I would have been perfectly capable of helping him.:toetap05:

 

Really -- I'm not making it up.

 

At least he told you. There are those that don't (and they tend to run off with younger women in the next year or two).

 

When hubby got his, I stopped by Target for some undies. He didn't have any with any support. I was clueless in the men's section, so I asked a guy there. He'd had one and opined about which kind. Another man joined us, and with their help I picked out a pair (of undies, ladies). Look how far we've come in the last 150 years! An end to slavery! Votes for women! Discussing hubby's V in public with strangers!

[stripe]

I hear you. And I know men who remember their own circumcisions. :)

 

I don't want to know any of this stuff. Don't want to know how fast you dilated, how many pushes, how much you screamed, or how many stitches. And sorry (you know who you are!), I don't want to know that your wife's doctor massaged her tissues during birth and she didn't tear.

 

Double point deduction if I read about any of this on your blog.

[kalanamak]

 

:lol: Prior to the V, while I was preggers, hubby would periodically whimper how unhappy he was I was going to have to suffer, if only it could be HIM giving birth, to spare me. After the V, and the infection, and the baseball sized RED scrotum, he lay holding the bed post calling THANK GOD IT WAS YOU WHO HAD THE BABY.

[redsquirrel]

My MIL felt the need to inform the entire family about dh's older brother getting a vasectomy. I was sort of stunned.

 

#1) why did he tell his mother!?

 

#2) why is she telling ME

 

:blink:

 

DH and I have talked about him getting the snip but we never, ever considered telling his mother...unless of course we need the rest of the family informed.

 

Gah.

[Impish]

My Nan freaked out when my dad was done. :001_huh::glare:

[goldberry]

I purposely bought lima beans to use for the cold treatment, because I hate them so much I knew I would never accidentally try to eat them!

 

Months later, I was in the freezer asking "Who in the world bought lima beans???" before I remembered!

[Peela]

:lol: Prior to the V, while I was preggers, hubby would periodically whimper how unhappy he was I was going to have to suffer, if only it could be HIM giving birth, to spare me. After the V, and the infection, and the baseball sized RED scrotum, he lay holding the bed post calling THANK GOD IT WAS YOU WHO HAD THE BABY.

:lol::lol:

Yes, except it was cantaloupe sized here....I really don't think men are so cut out for pain! My dh became a Trekkie because of those weeks in bed though, which wasn't such a bad thing :)

[MariannNOVA]

At least he told you. There are those that don't (and they tend to run off with younger women in the next year or two).

!

 

Unfortunately, he didn't do that. I did, however, have the pleasure of throwing his sorry backside out.

[Ann@thebeach]

I agree.

I can't believe the stories my DH comes home from work with! And he works with upper level management! The personal stories they tell would make me cringe at having to do deal with them on a business level after knowing what they share.... :001_huh:

Makes no sense to me that they want their co-workers knowing such personal stuff. I had to yell at my DH for sharing some of the details of my homebirth. Like I really want to face them at a company picnic now that they were told of such personal stuff! :glare:

[Mimm]

I find it much more common for women to discuss very intimate details when they are pregnant. I've always been uncomfortable with this. I'll talk about these things with close friends, but mostly, I prefer to keep these details to myself. I was at lunch with my sister once and during a lull in the conversation where we both paused to eat, we heard a woman two tables over talking to her lunching companion about what the doctor did to her cervix. My sister and I froze, our mouths full of pasta and stared at each other...

[mamajudy]

:lol::lol::lol: These boards are a hoot today!

[Slartibartfast]

I agree with you totally --:lol: -- but I must add my personal remark:

 

at least those wives KNOW their dh is getting a vasectomy. The X never told me he was getting one. I came home from getting the girls at school and he was lying on the sofa in pain with an ice pack. If he had wanted to 'hurt', I would have been perfectly capable of helping him.:toetap05:

 

Really -- I'm not making it up.

 

:glare:

 

Wow! I can't believe that!

[StephanieZ]

Really? Wow. It's a surgery. Are you equally squeamish about other medical procedures, or just reproductive ones? Maybe it's my general philosophy that human reproduction is not shameful or secret. . . or the family business in the medical field. . . but I just don't have an aversion to discussing reproductive health.

 

I have known of vasectomies, hernia surgeries, etc numerous times, and know the vasectomy status of most of my close friends' spouses.

 

When my dh had his vasectomy, it was very traumatic for me. In fact, 18 mos later, I am still conflicted about it. I did not want it. We discussed, cried, fought, discussed, cried, and after many many months, I relented with very mixed emotions, most of which boil down to grief and resentment.

 

Even for those who were in full agreement with their husband's decision, I am sure many/most wives feel some significant things about this transition in their life from momma-in-process-another-one-could-come-any-day. . . to I'm-done-no-more-little-ones-ever-again.

 

Also, unless the spouses are in complete harmony about the decision, it can be very hard to process your feelings about it with your spouse. Dh is my dearest, closest confidant. . . but for our marital health, I had to vent to OTHERS when he had his vasectomy. He had heard it all a thousand times, and discussing it with HIM was loaded b/c he COULD change things, he COULD carry guilt or blame. . . It wasn't healthy to keep talking about it the way I needed to. Thank God for the several dear friends who listened to my grief & encouraged me. . . for hour after hour, over many months.

 

So, I ask that when someone mentions a vasectomy, you ask yourself (and maybe even your friend) how the friend is feeling. . . what she is thinking. . . Is she looking for some support or encouragement? Someone to vent to? She's not bragging about a bedroom exploit (gross) or trying to creep you out. She's just talking about something that is really important to her. . . like a parent dying, or a child going to college, or entering menopause. . . it's one more important life transition, but this time it is particularly loaded emotionally b/c it involves a decision that is made, not something that just happened.

[Dolphin]

I have come more comfortable with it, as it helped my dh. He knew who had done it, and they actually talked about it and it made him really comfortable with the whole thing. He was able to ask question before, and that is how we found the great doctor that we had. I have found out since, but in the area people just say they had a procedure done with (the last name) and those in the know will all start telling stories. The guy is a bit of a legend. I actually watched the procedure. I figure dh saw me get 2 c-sections, it was my turn. After I watched one side I sat down and started flipping through a magazine and told him that we were not even close to even.

 

We kept one bag of peas, and after the swelling was down they went into the compost.

[Garga]

Really? Wow. It's a surgery. Are you equally squeamish about other medical procedures, or just reproductive ones? Maybe it's my general philosophy that human reproduction is not shameful or secret. . . or the family business in the medical field. . . but I just don't have an aversion to discussing reproductive health.

 

I have known of vasectomies, hernia surgeries, etc numerous times, and know the vasectomy status of most of my close friends' spouses.

 

When my dh had his vasectomy, it was very traumatic for me. In fact, 18 mos later, I am still conflicted about it. I did not want it. We discussed, cried, fought, discussed, cried, and after many many months, I relented with very mixed emotions, most of which boil down to grief and resentment.

 

Even for those who were in full agreement with their husband's decision, I am sure many/most wives feel some significant things about this transition in their life from momma-in-process-another-one-could-come-any-day. . . to I'm-done-no-more-little-ones-ever-again.

 

Also, unless the spouses are in complete harmony about the decision, it can be very hard to process your feelings about it with your spouse. Dh is my dearest, closest confidant. . . but for our marital health, I had to vent to OTHERS when he had his vasectomy. He had heard it all a thousand times, and discussing it with HIM was loaded b/c he COULD change things, he COULD carry guilt or blame. . . It wasn't healthy to keep talking about it the way I needed to. Thank God for the several dear friends who listened to my grief & encouraged me. . . for hour after hour, over many months.

 

So, I ask that when someone mentions a vasectomy, you ask yourself (and maybe even your friend) how the friend is feeling. . . what she is thinking. . . Is she looking for some support or encouragement? Someone to vent to? She's not bragging about a bedroom exploit (gross) or trying to creep you out. She's just talking about something that is really important to her. . . like a parent dying, or a child going to college, or entering menopause. . . it's one more important life transition, but this time it is particularly loaded emotionally b/c it involves a decision that is made, not something that just happened.

 

Well of course if my friends needed support over the V, I would listen and Be There for them. If they were upset and needed to vent, I would totally understand that.

 

But for friends who are in agreement with dh: there's no reason to tell me about a surgery that will involve him putting peas on his *ahem*. It makes some unwanted images pop into my mind. :blush: