Haiku Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 How would you explain to my 16 year old why it is entirely inappropriate to wear booty-hugging sweats that say "Juicy" across the seat? I explained to her why *I* think it is inappropriate. Is she being deliberately obtuse, just to get on my nerves, when she says she doesn't understand why this is not ok? FTR, I informed her that said sweats will make their way back to the friend who owns them within two days and that the little kids will not see them or see her in them or life will be unpleasant for her. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Because saying "look at my a**, I'm begging you, I am desperate for the attention!!!" is inappropriate at any age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Yep, having words across your butt....and being extremely form fitting....just begs for attention drawn to your butt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Classy girls and teens don't need to label their parts. If her behind is indeed "juicy" people will notice anyway, without the need for giant neon sign emblazoned on it. :tongue_smilie: You could explain you will photograph her in said sweats and make a gift of that photo to her future dd once she reaches the teen years. :glare: Then maybe google some 80s and 70s attire and show her what we once thought was cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinRTX Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Well, I just tell my girls that the message says "I'm a slut" and does she want to use her body as a billboard for that message. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 This weekend someone gave me a good point to use. The subject was when the "lingerie-as-clothing" trend was in. A married man said, "Look, when my wife dresses like that, I know what's on her mind. So what message are these girls projecting?" I'm going to be using that one! Young girls that we are trying to raise with good values can be remarkably naive about what boys are thinking. Sometimes you have to be blunt. (Of course, there is always the chance they are not naive, but in fact DO know what they are projecting, but I'm hoping for just naive!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 My friend's husband is a high school teacher, and he told me that it's a constant struggle to get the girls in his classes to see themselves as more than just "holes" or "receptacles" for boys "to stick stuff in." :o Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Because it leads people to make assumptions about her that are not what she intends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 I have given up with some descriptions and explanations for my kids and just turned to very clear, explicit definitions. If my child was 16, and surely by now had the s^x talk, I would explain very clearly the se%ual connotations and what 'juicy' means se*ually. If she then still wants to advertise her bottom as such, then more discussions may need to be had. Without that very clear explanation she may not truly understand what attention she could be attracting. She may in her immaturing think that the attention she will get is just flirting or flattery. She is old enough to be taught more than than Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmericanMom Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 FTR, I informed her that said sweats will make their way back to the friend who owns them within two days and that the little kids will not see them or see her in them or life will be unpleasant for her. Tara You are my new hero!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimnc Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 This weekend someone gave me a good point to use. The subject was when the "lingerie-as-clothing" trend was in. A married man said, "Look, when my wife dresses like that, I know what's on her mind. So what message are these girls projecting?" I'm going to be using that one! Young girls that we are trying to raise with good values can be remarkably naive about what boys are thinking. Sometimes you have to be blunt. (Of course, there is always the chance they are not naive, but in fact DO know what they are projecting, but I'm hoping for just naive!) :iagree: Not long after we were married, DH explained to me that this is how guys think. I was appalled! (Being raised in the 70's with the women's lib movement and all, I just never really thought of it from this perspective.) It was eye-opening. Perhaps introduce her to something like Pure Fashion? I think the modesty movement is fantastic. It promotes the dignity of the women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 What I told dd is that it's not appropriate to have sexually suggestive words on her clothing because she is suggesting that she's sexually available. I also said, "Considering that you complain A LOT about getting attention from boys [she's gorgeous, if I do say so myself], I don't think you want to give them the message that you want to have sex with them." Her response? "That's not what it means, mom. Everyone wears this stuff." To which I replied, "That's exactly what it means, and you don't." I also told her that I was very surprised that the friend-who-owns-the-sweats' father, who is a teacher, allowed her to own/wear those pants. And here's why I think dd was deliberately being obtuse about "not understanding" why this is not ok: She replied, "I don't think he knows she has them." Uh-huh. I also told her, "So if it's ok to wear that, you would think it's also ok for your little sister to wear that?" She admitted that it wasn't, but couldn't come up with a reason why. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 (edited) Yep, having words across your butt....and being extremely form fitting....just begs for attention drawn to your butt. :iagree: I had to have this talk with my daughter. She's 6. Booty-shorts are pretty typical dance attire, and many people at her studio (including the teachers) wear the ones with writing across the butt. Booty-shorts for dance, I can handle. She looks adorable in them. I refuse to buy her the type with writing across the butt. Zebra stripes? Fine! Sparkly zig-zags? Great! Anything that says, "Juicy" or "Hot Stuff?" No way in H***! Booty shorts with writing across the kiester just tells the world that you're desperate to have someone look at your butt. Tell your 16 year-old that my 6 year-old had no problem understanding that and see what she says. Oh, and FTR, I would NEVER let my child -- 6 or 16 -- out in public with those shorts on. They are just for dance and worn only at the studio. Edited April 13, 2011 by jujsky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flux Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Because saying "look at my a**, I'm begging you, I am desperate for the attention!!!" is inappropriate at any age. Have a pair of tight sweats made with this written across the seat. I guess you could either threaten her with making her wear them, or better yet, you let her wear the "juicy" pants to the mall along with her mother wearing the "look at my a**, I'm begging you, I am desperate for the attention!!!" pants. You must wear a tight shirt with words across your breasts as well, maybe "Boobs!" or "Got Milk!" (It doesn't matter if you really have milk, the point is just to freak out said youngun) :lol: Whether or not anyone else finds this humorous is no matter...I have cracked myself up... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorganClassicalPrep Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 I have a rule: No pants (shorts, skirts) with words on the butt. Period. A little decoration on the pockets is okay, but I even draw the line at too much ornamation. And she's just 5! I just have a problem with drawing attention to that part of her body as a child. I do think that teens don't realize how sexually suggestive some of their clothing choices are. I'm a pick-your-battles type of person, but this is one battle I'll take on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 :iagree: Inappropriate...Just to kill her, I'd put them on and insist she accompany me somewhere, maybe her school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmericanMom Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 You must wear a tight shirt with words across your breasts as well, maybe "Boobs!" or "Got Milk!" :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Have a pair of tight sweats made with this written across the seat. I guess you could either threaten her with making her wear them, or better yet, you let her wear the "juicy" pants to the mall along with her mother wearing the "look at my a**, I'm begging you, I am desperate for the attention!!!" pants. You must wear a tight shirt with words across your breasts as well, maybe "Boobs!" or "Got Milk!" (It doesn't matter if you really have milk, the point is just to freak out said youngun):lol: Whether or not anyone else finds this humorous is no matter...I have cracked myself up... now this is funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 Tell your 16 year-old that my 6 year-old had no problem understanding that and see what she says. Good idea! Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Have a pair of tight sweats made with this written across the seat. I guess you could either threaten her with making her wear them, or better yet, you let her wear the "juicy" pants to the mall along with her mother wearing the "look at my a**, I'm begging you, I am desperate for the attention!!!" pants. You must wear a tight shirt with words across your breasts as well, maybe "Boobs!" or "Got Milk!" (It doesn't matter if you really have milk, the point is just to freak out said youngun):lol: Whether or not anyone else finds this humorous is no matter...I have cracked myself up... :lol::lol::lol: You cracked me up! I could see myself doing something like that. I'm also the mom who has had temper-tantrums in the middle of a store to illustrate to my son how ridiculous he looks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 My friend's husband is a high school teacher, and he told me that it's a constant struggle to get the girls in his classes to see themselves as more than just "holes" or "receptacles" for boys "to stick stuff in." :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Have her read this thread. Maybe then the understanding will come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 A friend of my daughter's came over once wearing what basically amounted to a bra and track shorts. I took a line from someone here and said, "Honey, you're welcome to come visit, but you need to put some clothes on first." As she and dd walked out of the room, she said to my dd, "Is your mom saying I'm dressed like a slut or something?" I said, "No, of course not. To be dressed like a slut you'd have to actually be dressed." She just looked at me for a minute, and then she actually cracked a smile. Dd was, of course, mortified. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flux Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 :iagree: Inappropriate...Just to kill her, I'd put them on and insist she accompany me somewhere, maybe her school. I think I just might like your idea even better. Trying to imagine my mom in "juicy" pants in public with the teen me would have been mortifying. *shudder* I guess (in the real world, and not my land of make-believe) this would probably more directly illustrate the point without my previous level of snark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Juicy is a brand name, and yes, it's a very interesting place for them to put their logo. I would just tell her it draws attention to her behind, which is not appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Ask her, then what "juicy" means in the context of the pants. It's not referring to the produce aisle. If it means nothing, would she be ok if you wore a pair? There are times when my son is rather naive and obtuse. Like when he came home from a campout and thought the new card game he'd learned was BS: short for Boy Scout. There are times when I have to be explicit with him. For example, I have explained in some detail what some of the slang he's picked up is actually referring to. Everyone does not wear those clothes. Everyone does not think they mean nothing. (If nothing else, they mean, hey look at my bum - it's my best quality.) Hold the line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 Dh suggested I look for the pants to make sure they had been returned. Hmmm, they just happened to be wadded up and stuffed under a blanket in her closet. They are now hanging out in mom's closet ... Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Someone gave my 9yo dd a skirt that is best described as a "peasant" skirt. I have nothing against the actual skirt, it's sort of cute with eyelet lace on the bottom. DD, however thinks she looks "s*xy" in it. She constantly tries to pull it up too high and make a mini. I asked her SS teacher to compliment her skirt, esp the eyelet lace.---some thing like " I really love your skirt, it reminds me of my Grandmothers drapes" She hasn't worn it since. Lara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 No advice from me. You seem to be handling it well, so I'll just offer my support. Have a Mike's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msk Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 I was one of those naive teens once... I remember honestly not believing anyone would think I was dressing like a cleavage-y slut-bomb in order to advertise my "availability," because those clothes were just a style, they weren't really sending a message, and my overly conservative, overprotective, unreasonably mean mom read entirely too much into *everything* and wouldn't let me wear anything remotely stylish. Twenty years later, I thank my lucky stars my mom stopped me from acting like an idiot. It might help to ask her to imagine how a strange adult man might interpret an outfit, rather than what teenage boys she actually knows might be thinking. In my memory at least, nothing is more creepy to a teenager than an adult. :-) Descriptors courtesy of Buffy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 I was one of those naive teens once... I remember honestly not believing anyone would think I was dressing like a cleavage-y slut-bomb in order to advertise my "availability," because those clothes were just a style, they weren't really sending a message, and my overly conservative, overprotective, unreasonably mean mom read entirely too much into *everything* and wouldn't let me wear anything remotely stylish. Twenty years later, I thank my lucky stars my mom stopped me from acting like an idiot. It might help to ask her to imagine how a strange adult man might interpret an outfit, rather than what teenage boys she actually knows might be thinking. In my memory at least, nothing is more creepy to a teenager than an adult. :-) Descriptors courtesy of Buffy. I went the adult male route in making things perfectly clear with my dd. She was 13 or 14 and really didn't get it yet and I had to be very direct. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Well, I just tell my girls that the message says "I'm a slut" and does she want to use her body as a billboard for that message. Linda Yeah, I agree. I'm of the opinion that pants with writing on the butt is nothing more than a billboard for "Look at my a$$. There is really nothing more to me than the fact I'm female and desperate for someone to use my body for their own pleasure to make me feel loved and accepted. Forget the fact I'm intelligent, funny, interesting, and valuable as a human being. I'd rather you look at me as nothing more than something to have sex with." :iagree: Inappropriate...Just to kill her, I'd put them on and insist she accompany me somewhere, maybe her school. LOVE IT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Because saying "look at my a**, I'm begging you, I am desperate for the attention!!!" is inappropriate at any age. Ayup. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
herbalgirl Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Someone gave my 9yo dd a skirt that is best described as a "peasant" skirt. I have nothing against the actual skirt, it's sort of cute with eyelet lace on the bottom. DD, however thinks she looks "s*xy" in it. She constantly tries to pull it up too high and make a mini. I asked her SS teacher to compliment her skirt, esp the eyelet lace.---some thing like " I really love your skirt, it reminds me of my Grandmothers drapes" She hasn't worn it since. Lara :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Have a pair of tight sweats made with this written across the seat. I guess you could either threaten her with making her wear them, or better yet, you let her wear the "juicy" pants to the mall along with her mother wearing the "look at my a**, I'm begging you, I am desperate for the attention!!!" pants. You must wear a tight shirt with words across your breasts as well, maybe "Boobs!" or "Got Milk!" (It doesn't matter if you really have milk, the point is just to freak out said youngun):lol: Whether or not anyone else finds this humorous is no matter...I have cracked myself up... :lol::lol::lol::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Someone gave my 9yo dd a skirt that is best described as a "peasant" skirt. I have nothing against the actual skirt, it's sort of cute with eyelet lace on the bottom. DD, however thinks she looks "s*xy" in it. She constantly tries to pull it up too high and make a mini. I asked her SS teacher to compliment her skirt, esp the eyelet lace.---some thing like " I really love your skirt, it reminds me of my Grandmothers drapes" She hasn't worn it since. Lara :lol: That's so mean...and funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Because it's a sexual advertisement sported by girls and women who are desperate for attention. Because disgusting people are going to be looking at her and thinking, "ooooh, that's a juicy butt over there, and she wants me to know it, xxx". ICK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 I read an article that said that guys actually hate those suppose-to-be-sexy words on the butt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl in NM Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 How would you explain to my 16 year old why it is entirely inappropriate to wear booty-hugging sweats that say "Juicy" across the seat? I explained to her why *I* think it is inappropriate. Is she being deliberately obtuse, just to get on my nerves, when she says she doesn't understand why this is not ok? FTR, I informed her that said sweats will make their way back to the friend who owns them within two days and that the little kids will not see them or see her in them or life will be unpleasant for her. Tara I think she knows why. Remind her that it turns her into a piece of meat and that women who see her it will think her loose and see her as a threat and that men who see her in it will think her loose and see her as an opportunity for a little sexual fun. Blunt, but true. If only more parents were willing to teach their daughters responsibility for their sexuality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Because saying "look at my a**, I'm begging you, I am desperate for the attention!!!" is inappropriate at any age. :iagree::iagree::lol::lol: This. Mrs Mungo nailed it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 I read an article that said that guys actually hate those suppose-to-be-sexy words on the butt. Good thing to point out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Without knowing any other single thing about your daughter, *some* people will apply labels like Immature, Insecure, Loose, Crass etc. I try to look at things like that as too young to know better. I have worn clothing I regretted. There are also certain types of clothing that if they went through my mother's laundry cycle, didn't come out intact at the end. That's a risk to think about. Does she do her own laundry? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anita in NC Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Well, I just tell my girls that the message says "I'm a slut" and does she want to use her body as a billboard for that message. :iagree: It just looks slutty. Ask her if she wants boys to treat her like a slutty bimbo or treat her like a lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kchara Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Because clothes like that just look trashy, and, since she's not a piece of trash, she has no business wearing that. I HATE those clothes. They are completely demeaning to women, IMHO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBS Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 While we cannot approve by letting a kid where trashy, suggestive clothing, I remember adjusting my clothing once I got to school: specifically rolling the waistband on my skirts, so they were shorter. Pretty racy! I went braless a time or two also, thinking I was so cool....well, what cured me, was the looks from men. Sure, the young guys looked and that was thrilling but the gross, old guys ogled too, at the movie theatre. I can still remember that. Cured me. My mom made me prove I could handle the short skirts, by sitting, squatting, in and out of cars, etc. without showing anything. I guess the focus now, is how to manage not to let breasts fall out. I don't know how boys handle the acerage of cleavage (front and back) that is being shown today, by all the girls. Gross. No imagination needed. Okay, so when daughter goes to college, and wanted to let more hang out, we compromised and bought some bikini bathing suit tops, that look funky and show, rather than that extra few inches of breast. Not ideal, but better. Great discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 I prefer the shame route, myself. I'd be saying, "Ewwww! Your butt is juicy? Do you mean that you have diarrhea? Dude, I would NOT be advertising a juicy butt to the world!" And then if I got the, "That's not what it means!!" reply, I'd say, "No, really? You mean it doesn't mean diarrhea? Ohhhhh, OK, well advertising your butt in general is pretty pathetic, don't you think? Very, very sad that you don't have more self-respect than that. Good luck with your reputation!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 The idea of having mom wear it herself is cracking me up :D (It might not work for this kid, but I'm almost falling out of my chair here) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 "No, you may NOT wear those pants because you are advertising that you are sexually aroused, lubricated and ready for intercourse." :001_huh: For me, just hearing the word 'intercourse' would be enough to deter. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 "I don't have to give you a reason you will accept. I have given you my reason, but it's okay if you don't accept or understand it. I have a reason, it works for me, I am making this decision. My authority is not based on your approval." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Yes, and advertising the condition of said a**, be it juicy or otherwise, is never, ever appropriate for general public viewing at any time.... Do I want to go do my grocery shopping and be greeted with young ladies advertising their juicy a**? I think not.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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