Curious... What age do you consider "old" to

[yellowperch]

I had my first at 33, and my last at 42. I'd be thrilled to get pregnant again but I think that ship has sailed. Hold on, I was born Dec. 1966. Am I 44 already? Jeez, I think I missed my last birthday.

 

My mother had her dcs at 19, 22, 24, and 27. She met my dad when she was 16; I met my one true love at 28. The fellow I fancied at 18 would have been an absolute disaster as a husband and dad. I liked him because he played hockey, so that gives you an idea the depth I was capable of then.

[Deborah]

Past menopause is usually too old. :D Fertility and having babies are signs of youth. If you're young enough to get pregnant, you're young enough to have a baby.

 

:iagree::D

[coralloyd]

I was 21 with my oldest, 23 with my middle, 25 almost 26 with my youngest. I know I am a young mom for now a days. This was exactly how I wanted it. All of my pregnancies were planned. First reason - I wanted dh and I to have our later years to enjoy. I want to be in my 40's and hang with my best friend doing things like sky diving! Second- I wanted our parents to have enough energy for the grandkids. Both my parents and dh's parents have sooo much fun with the kids. My dad still wrestles with them. My mom and dad will take them on hikes. Dh's parents garden with them, get down on the floor and play, ect. Lastly- I want to be a young grandparent. There is no saying this will happen, but it is more likely if I am a young parent. So in my 40's would be too old for me personally. However, I think it is awesome to have kids no matter what age you are.

Edited April 9, 2011 by coralloyd

[LibraryLover]

Few of my contemporaries had babies until their late 20's and early 30's. I know a tremendous amount of folks who didn't even have their first until 36 or more. One of my friends had a baby boy at 41, and a baby girl at 45. Both healthy and gorgeous, and their college funds are already set. (She might have liked to have had them younger, but she didn't find Mr Right until later.)

 

There's a lot to be said for waiting.

Edited April 9, 2011 by LibraryLover

[RahRah]

I just had a baby in January - I'm 44 :tongue_smilie: - and had zero complications, despite all the doc's worried to death about advanced maternal age (geez, it runs in my family, relax!)

 

My dad was born when my grandmother was 42, his younger sister when she was 44 (she died when she was 82, so my dad was 40) - he was actually an uncle before he was born! My dad is also one of 12 children. His sisters also had children into their 40's. My dad is now 75, so that was a long time ago, when women having babies that old were considered really old!

 

Maternal aunts had kids well into their 40's too....cousins on both sides too. I think the oldest woman on either side to have a baby (without any intervention) was my cousin, her baby was born when she was 46.

 

When I was younger, I never thought I'd have my first when I was 38 and my second at 44....but, that's just how it worked out, and I wouldn't change a thing, even if I could!

[dsmama]

I'm 40. First child was adopted when I was 33, second child born when I was 36, and last at 38. Last also has Down syndrome, which can occur to parents of any age, though the risk of chromosomal disorder increases with age. All my kids are blessings, but my chromosomally-enhanced child has taught me so much and shows so much love!!

 

That said, someone said about me, "I didn't think she was old enough to have a child with Down syndrome." Shows the ignorance people have about "advanced maternal age."

 

Back on topic -- have them (or adopt them) when you want, until you can't anymore!

[gardening momma]

My ideas about this have changed a lot as I get older--also from reading more about "older" women having babies. My idea of an older woman (as far as pregnancy goes) is 40+. Not too old to have babies, just on the older end of the spectrum. When I was a teenager, I didn't know of anyone having children past their 30's except for one woman who was 41.

Edited April 9, 2011 by gardening momma
spelling

[EKS]

I'm pretty sure I'm too old. I'm 43.

 

My grandmother had her last kid at age 42 in the 1940s and that was considered old! My husband's grandmother had a child at age *50* in the 1940s! Now that really is old!

[FO4UR]

I'm 32, and could go for a few more. I think I would want to be *done* by 40.

[I.Dup.]

Well my opinion is influenced by my experience with my mom- she was newly 37 when she had me and she has acted and seemed absolutely elderly my entire life. A lot of that is just her own personal frailty and her personality, though. My sister and I were also spaced out by 11 years (she's 11 years older than I am) so maybe if my mom had more young children, that would have kept her younger or something. :confused: So in that sense, it scares me to think of having children as I get into my 30's (I turned 29 today). I'm so thankful we started young, I have NO idea how I would do this (having all of these children so close together if I was in my late 30's or 40's)...it takes so much out of me now and I guess some would still consider me somewhat "young."

 

In a lot of ways, I'd love to be done when I'm 30, but as long as I had my last by 35 or so, that would be ideal in my little world. :001_smile: I really don't want to be like my mom and dealing with elderly issues when my youngest is just in their 20's or whatever. I don't know.

[NanceXToo]

I'm going to be 38 next month and we're currently on our third month of trying for one last baby. I don't feel too old right now (although if you would have asked me this question ten years ago I would have been like "I want my last baby before age 30" lol. (I had my first at 18). I do worry a little bit, though, about having problems conceiving, carrying to term, genetic abnormalities and all of that stuff, though, now that I'm over 35.

 

ETA: But I will say that my mom had me when she was 35 and my brothers when she was 37 and whenever she came to school functions when I was in elementary school, she always seemed like the oldest mom there!

[Karen in CO]

I have "young" mom friends which make me aware that I am an "old" mom. It's nothing they do, they are just so "young". I think I was 36 when I got pregnant with my youngest (I don't remember; I wasn't really paying attention). I was 21 when I had my oldest. Right now, I think I could probably not be too old to have another, but then again I do love babies... I had lots more energy when I was younger which is balanced by more patience and experience now.

[mycalling]

I always wanted to be done at 30 and to have 8 children, so I knew I had to get cracking early! We're trying for our last...I'm 29 1/2. My husband is 42 so that more-so seems old enough for a last baby.

 

My biological oldest is 9 1/2 and I'm having more issues getting past the fact that he and the youngest will be over 10yrs apart. That seems sad for siblings.

Edited April 9, 2011 by MyCalling

[Susan in TX]

When you have children younger then your grandchildren. :lol:

 

Yep. I'm 42 and 21 weeks pregnant. My grandbaby will be 6 months old when my baby is born. I think I qualify as "old" although I don't feel old.

 

Susan in TX

[lionfamily1999]

I think that once you get near 40 (for a woman) it's perhaps a little old, just because of the health risks. I really hate to call anyone "old."

I'm going to be 38 next month and we're currently on our third month of trying for one last baby. I don't feel too old right now (although if you would have asked me this question ten years ago I would have been like "I want my last baby before age 30" lol. (I had my first at 18). I do worry a little bit, though, about having problems conceiving, carrying to term, genetic abnormalities and all of that stuff, though, now that I'm over 35.

 

ETA: But I will say that my mom had me when she was 35 and my brothers when she was 37 and whenever she came to school functions when I was in elementary school, she always seemed like the oldest mom there!

Dh and I have decided 'no more,' because I'm thirty :p

I always wanted to be done at 30 and to have 8 children, so I knew I had to get cracking early! We're trying for our last...I'm 29 1/2. My husband is 42 so that more-so seems old enough for a last baby.

 

My biological oldest is 9 1/2 and I'm having more issues getting past the fact that he and the youngest will be over 10yrs apart. That seems sad for siblings.

So funny to see so many with 30 as the cut-off. If it makes you feel better, my oldest and youngest are a decade apart and they have a very good relationship. Dd mothers him sometimes and he sees her as the greatest woman... well, second greatest woman on earth ;)

[justamouse]

when their bodies make pregnancy impossible. Look, who am I to judge? I wanted to stop by the time I was 38, and I stopped at 35. Why? Because I have SEVEN! If I had three I'd still be going. :-)

[happypamama]

Maybe 40? I don't know. My mom got married at 20, had me a few days before she turned 22, and had her youngest (of four) a few months before she turned 31. I got married at 21, had my first baby right before I turned 25, and I'll be 34 in a few days, with my fourth baby expected in a few months. I don't feel old, maybe older than I did with my first, but it hasn't been an appreciably more difficult pregnancy (actually, in several ways, easier than my second and third -- which makes me wonder if this one is a girl, since the hormones just seem different). I expect that I probably have a decade or so of fertility ahead of me, if I want it. I had originally thought I'd probably be done having babies by about age 30, but it seems my body prefers a slightly longer spacing between them, and I don't feel that post-30 is too old. I can definitely see myself having at least one or two more, at maybe 37 and 40. 45 seems like it might be a bit old, but it also seems like a long time away. :) I suspect it varies for everyone.

[4everHis]

I think 35 is considered AMA- Advanced Maternal Age.

 

had my first at 32 and the other 4 I was considered AMA and high risk. Didn't intend to have one over 40 but I was 3 weeks from 42 when he arrived. So. . . . 42 is too old to have more babies ;) 47 is DEFINITELY too old, or at least that's what I keep telling dh:D. That leaves you lots of years!

[texasmama]

For me, over 40 is "too old". I had my last two babies when I was over 35 and declined all "recommended" tests.

[m0mmaBuck]

My mom was 42 when she had me. That, I guess, seems "old" to me. I wouldn't do it it. But I'm sure glad SHE did!

[Sherri in MI]

Personally, I'd say 45. I think it depends on you and your health. I had my first (and only-we wanted more but couldn't) at 36. I have a friend who started at 32 & had her last at 42. Two other friends who started their families at 40. One had 3 healthy babies, the other had 2 healthy babies & one die shortly after birth.

 

It's best, fertility wise and health wise (baby & mom) to start young, but I don't see any reason many women cannot continue having babies into their mid 40s.

[_melody_]

I had my first baby at 40 and my second at 43. It took me that long to find the right person to have babies WITH. Today was my 48th birthday. I don't think I'll be having any more, but I had great-grandmothers who had babies in their late 40's/early 50's and so did my dh, so I guess that nothing is impossible. I know that I wouldn't trade the life I have with my children now for anything, so I don't think I was too late at all. So far it's all worked out just right. :)

[Joyofsixreboot]

I was 44.5 when I had my last baby. I was considered a freak at the OB's office but pffft to them. I suppose most people think over 40 is pushing it.

[pbt1294]

My parents had me when they were "old". I have sisters 10 and 13 years older than me. No, my parents aren't able to participate in my kiddos lives due to health issues like my friend's parents do. My mom NEVER comes to babysit, or attend ball games, go baby shopping with me...ect...

 

BUT.... I AM SO HAPPY THAT THEY GAVE ME LIFE!!!!!!!

 

To me that trumps all the other stuff!!!!!

[Lady Florida.]

Hey, who are you calling old? :D

 

I had my first and only at 41. Two months after he was born, I turned 42. We weren't trying; we had long since given up. Medically I was considered AMA, but I didn't/don't feel old.

 

Old is relative. I try not to act like ds' grandmother, but I'm also aware of my age. I know I'd look cougar-like if I tried to dress like some of the younger moms in our hs group. On the other hand, I'm 55 not 75, and am not yet ready to be put out to pasture.

 

My advanced age has made me less vulnerable when people try to tell me what to do. I'm too old for that. :D I do what *I* think is best and don't care what others say. I do however, sometimes ask for parenting advice from women younger than me. Age isn't the issue, whether you've BTDT is, and some of them have children older than ds.

 

I do sometimes worry about how it will be for ds when he's an adult and we're older, but I don't dwell on it. That would serve no purpose. Ds has an adult brother who has been mistaken for his father, and ds and I have been mistaken for his grandparents. We let it roll off. Ds knows we're older than his friends parents and he accepts that.

[journeytolily]

I was raised by my grandparents, who were both 48 when I was born. My grandmother always said that I kept her young. They both lived into their late 80's, in pretty good health up until the last few years. My grandmother might still be alive now, but died in a car crash (!) at age 87.

 

I didn't plan on being an "older" mother - I always hoped to have children in my 20's. But it didn't turn out that way. When I look at my situation, having children ages 9,7, and 2, and hoping for another baby this year, while I am turning 50 next week, I believe that my kids will be fine with older parents. I had a great life growing up, and honestly, my grandmother was my best friend, especially once I reached adulthood.

 

The only negative for me was that my grandparents didn't live long enough to see MY kids, since I started very late. But they DID get to enjoy most of my cousins' kids, since they started having children mostly in their 20's.

 

Veronica

[lionfamily1999]

This is why defining old is not a good thing.

 

There are too many people that prove that old is not old.

[merry gardens]

Hey, who are you calling old? :D

...

:lol: Yeah! Don't those young whipper-snappers realize how offensive their comments are to some of us mothers with more life experience?! :lol:

[mom2scouts]

My parents had me when they were "old". I have sisters 10 and 13 years older than me. No, my parents aren't able to participate in my kiddos lives due to health issues like my friend's parents do. My mom NEVER comes to babysit, or attend ball games, go baby shopping with me...ect...

 

BUT.... I AM SO HAPPY THAT THEY GAVE ME LIFE!!!!!!!

 

To me that trumps all the other stuff!!!!!

 

 

My mom was finished having kids when she was 23 and she doesn't babysit, attend ball games or go baby shopping with me either. I know many older grandparents who love to do those things, so it's not always just an age issue.

[Ginevra]

BUT.... I AM SO HAPPY THAT THEY GAVE ME LIFE!!!!!!!

 

To me that trumps all the other stuff!!!!!

:iagree: I remember hearing a college classmate lament that his parents were "so old" because they had him late in life. I'm like, "Look here, young man...they HAD you! Sometimes, you go with what you get - aren't you glad they had you?!"

[Moxie]

I'm 34 and fully intend to have at least 2 more kids. I'm in much better shape now then when I had my first baby at 23! Plus, now we have a home and my DH has a solid career. That reduced stress is worth something.

[I.Dup.]

My mom was finished having kids when she was 23 and she doesn't babysit, attend ball games or go baby shopping with me either. I know many older grandparents who love to do those things, so it's not always just an age issue.

 

I agree. For my mom anyway, it's definitely a personality thing.

[Dawn in OH]

I had my youngest at age 37 (last year). It was the easiest pregnancy, easiest delivery, and quickest recovery of my four! But for me, I think anything over 40 is too old.

 

Although I think if we had more money and a bigger home I might actually consider one more. So maybe I don't think 40's too old for me.

 

I guess the question of "what is too old" is really up to the person having the baby.

[edelweiss]

I think it is interesting that quite a few people have said that they want to be done having babies by 30. I was married at 24, but didn't want to have babies until after age 30. :D I got pregnant when I was 30 and had my first at 31. I don't really know why I felt that way, but having babies in my 20s just felt so very, very young to me. My mom had her kids at 21 and 24, so I'm not sure why I felt that way. :confused: I just know that I wanted to be "established" before I had children.

 

I had my kids at ages 31 and 34. I think that was really perfect for me. I considered having another one until I was 40, but decided not to. I'm 42 now, and I definitely feel like I would be an "older" mom if I got pregnant now (not that I'm planning to!), but I think it is totally do-able. My limit would be 45, I think. In my area, ages 30-40 are the "normal" range for having children.

[leeannpal]

I married late, at age 33. I feel really blessed to have had DD at age 36. While we wanted more, it just wasn't meant to be. I did consider my cut-off age to be 40. We had our last miscarriage when I was 39, and we knew then that we were done.

 

One of my best friends from college married the same year I did. She had years of infertility issues, and finally got pregnant and had her son at age 44. He is currently 6 months old and just a joy. Her husband is 49.

[HeidiKC]

You people in your early/mid-thirties are YOUNGSTERS! I think getting too old for babies is probably 40. I had my last at 39 and was a bit more worried than I was with my other two. I don't think I'd probably choose to have a baby beyond 40, but gosh - I wouldn't worry about 35 (or 34, as you are!) at ALL.

 

I know people always have a story about a friend that had a healthy baby when she was 45 or whatever. That doesn't mean that most of the rest of us will do the same. I just feel the odds are stacked against us at that age. I remember reading (when I was pregnant at 39) that the miscarriage rate at age 40 is 50%. That is a bit much for me, plus the risk of other complications for mom and baby. From the medical stuff I read, it seemed like, yes, the risks at 35 were somewhat greater, but at 40 they worried me.

 

Shoot - 34 is YOUNG! Spring Chicken.

[waa510]

IMO, 40+ is "older" to me..but I always try to think of how old dh and I would be when said kiddo is 18 and in college. Dh and I had our kids fairly young (I'll be 26 next month..had my girls at 21 and 23) and we are both looking forward to having most of our 40s to ourselves. It sounds selfish, but I can't imagine putting myself in a position where I'd be in my 50s or 60s raising a tween/teenager or an even younger child. I saw my own mother do it, and it was not fun..for either of us! :tongue_smilie: I know everyone is different, but this is my own experience. It's hard being a young mom (especially a young homeschool mom as most of my friends are comparing gray hair color products with each other!) but I think having it just dh and I for our early retirement will be great!!!

[Elm in NJ]

I had my last one in June last year. I was 41. I always have high blood pressure and preterm labor with my pregnancies (my 2nd was born at 35 weeks, and my twins at 34 weeks(. This one was the easiest, no high blood pressure problems. They tried to induce at 41 weeks because the baby was very comfortable and showed no sign of wanting to come, and finally had a C-section. That said , my dh was so scared throughout the whole pregnancy, he had the 'V" done when I was 4 months pregnant. So there will be no more babies for me. I'll like to adopt though.

[Ester Maria]

I had my first two in my late twenties and I had just SO MUCH energy with them! They were not even full year apart, but everything was quite easy with them, I was very flexible and pretty much had a blast with them.

 

We constantly planned that third, but always delayed, so turns out my last pregnancy was last year and the big kids were 12 and 13 when the baby was born. I am... well, calculate for yourself :lol:, I get attacks of acute depression when I think of how old I am. Now, I was concerned with this last pregnancy and honestly, it was considerably more difficult than the first two and much more physically dragging. I am very, very glad to have a little one now, but looking back, I probably would have preferred to have had her sometime before, especially with regard to the age gap between her and her sisters... they will simply not be the same generation, not share the same experiences - the little one will start school when the big ones graduate, leave home and start their own lives, so they will not exactly "grow up" together, as I always imagined.

 

Because of that, I suggested to DH the other night (half in jest, but half-seriously too) that we should take care that our little one has a company growing up. :tongue_smilie: Sort of, okay, we messed up not having all three of them as one "set" not too far apart in ages, but it is still not to late to have two distinct "sets" of kids.

He disagreed because of my age, risks, the fact that the last pregnancy wore me out a little, etc. :( So this topic hits home because he said that in his view, 39-40 is the absolute maximum he would ever suggest and even that would be pushing it (!), while in my view, all until 45 was fine. He said the 25-35 decade is ideal (to finish formal education, get married, settle down and emancipate financially - but not to wait too long), everything above 35 already slightly risky, but going 40+ is really pushing it for a lot of reasons (in addition to physical concerns, there is also emotional / generational mismatch, mismatch in ages with other kids).

 

I am not sure what to think myself. :glare: I think early 40s are fine too.

[Mom in High Heels]

I turned 38 on March 27th. Han Solo was born on April 4th (just a few days ago!), so I don't think 34 is old. I was considered AMA, and high risk, and did have a few complications (including preterm labor, and he was a preemie), but he is healthy and my recovery has been even faster than it was when Indy was born when I was 29.

[Ester Maria]

Han Solo was born on April 4th (just a few days ago!)

Off-topic: Congratulations. :)

[Guest CarolineUK]

I had DS6 when I was 40 and DS3 when I was 43, both easy pregnancies and very much loved babies who I have enjoyed enormously. DH and I have constantly talked about having another, but once I hit 47 in February I suddenly felt that it was too late. DH believes that because I don't 'look' 47 (I haven't any grey hair, very little in the way of wrinkles, and I'm slim and energetic), then the risks are probably less than they might be for some 47 year olds. I'm not sure. Watch this space :D.

[BlsdMama]

I had my first at 30, last at 35, and now at 40 I *FEEL* too old to go through another pregnancy. I'd love another baby, but not another pregnancy, kwim?

 

I do SO know what you mean! The babies? Keep 'em coming. But I'm not sure how many more times I can stand being pregnant, my body is literally betraying me at this point. :glare: But the little people, those I like!

 

If it makes you feel better, my oldest and youngest are a decade apart and they have a very good relationship. Dd mothers him sometimes and he sees her as the greatest woman... well, second greatest woman on earth ;)

 

Our sib set with the closest emotional bond is Briana & Sarah. They're 15 & 2. It's a beautiful thing to be able to witness - their relationship. The only thing I very much worry about is when she leaves home. Sarah adores Ana and Ana includes her in everything. Sarah is VERY blessed to have Ana and vice versa, and I think she's tempered some of that "oldest child" syndrome - softening Ana around the edges a lot. ;)

 

It's funny... We had Ana when we were incredibly young - 19 & DH was 23. DH was content with one but I REALLY wanted one more. We agreed to two. Two was perfect, one boy, one girl. Later we agreed to just one more and then we'd be complete. Hannah was born in 2001 and then she died and before we discussed or planned or ??? we were pregnant with Elizabeth. After Elizabeth I was fine with letting God handle it and DH was fine with having as many children as he could by 30. Then he decided 35 was really his cutoff. Now he says he thinks he will probably be "done" at 40, lol, but he says it with less certainty than he used to... He's 38 now. What a journey!

Edited April 9, 2011 by BlsdMama

[ScoutTN]

I had mine at 39 and 41. Miracle babies, due to infertility issues. Just happy to be a mommy at all! I think that if you can still get pg, you are okay to me a mom! I would have had one more if I could have, but after I weaned DS, my body went zooming into men-on-pause. ;)

 

I am 5-15 years older than than the mommies of my kids' friends. I wish I had the energy of the younger moms sometimes. But I was SO not ready to be a wife and a mom at 25! I trust God's perfect timing for my life, even though it has been difficult at times. There are good things about being an older mom - I have some experience and perspective that I wouldn't have had years ago.

[PentecostalMom]

When I had ds I was so happy (that was all the kids w had planned at the time) that I would be forty the same year he turned 18 (this year). HA...God had plans I didn't know about! I will be 40 next week and am expecting a baby in the fall. Oh, how He changed my heart and I am so glad He did.

[lea1]

My husband and I were late bloomers, as we didn't get married until we were older. I turned 42 on our honeymoon and he had recently turned 50. But we both had always wanted to have children so we were off and running with adoption.

 

I "had" my two just before I turned 44. We brought them both home from Russia at the same time. Benjamin was 15.5 months old and Nicholas was 14 months old. So, I didn't have to worry about the physical aspects of pregnancy but I do have the issues of keeping up with them. So far, so good. Of course, I don't have a prior experience to compare it with.

 

My husband actually keeps up better than I do because he has ALWAYS worked out on a regular schedule. He is not concerned about being buff but he is very concerned about keeping his heart muscle healthy (he is a doctor). So he actually does a great job of keeping up with our now 5 year olds and i need to get with the work out program so I can catch up a bit.

 

Overall, I would not have missed it for the world and I would be open to adopting another child, if it is in the Lord's plan. I still clearly and sadly remember all of the beautiful babies standing along the side of the playpens and staring at us each day when we came to pick up one of our sons and take him to the play room for our visit.

 

Sorry, getting off topic. Anyway, I can see the issues and concerns with becoming pregnant at 40 or over but I think there are still some very good mommy years left even at that age. I also think we should make an effort at this age to stay somewhat fit and healthy and active so we can do fun things with our kids. I must start doing better at this.:glare:

[Mejane]

Didn't read the whole thread so this may have been mentioned, but I think one has to look down the road as well. How old would you be when the baby you have at 45 graduates? 63. I had my second at 35, and I feel it when ds asks me to shoot hoops now that I'm 51. :) Longevity doesn't run in my family and I'd love to see grandchildren someday, so I'm glad I didn't wait any longer.

[Jenny in Atl]

40...ish. But, I think it really is up to the health of the individual. I know a number of "older" new moms who are doing great.

[gaillardia]

then most everyone would say 40 is way too old. I had #6 at 40, and 18 months later had #7.

We met family of a friend from Chile. They were so amazed that we were "so young, had so many children at our age, and that the children were old." Our oldest was 12, I was 37.

We were considered old by American culture for all of it!

The mother of our friend was in her late 70's. Our friend was early 40's, and her son was 18. They told us in their culture everyone marries in their 30's or later (!) and has children in their 40's. Well, I'm sure someone will argue with my take on it. These lovely people could barely speak English and the daughter (our friend) translated. No mistakes. She was surrounded by her siblings, 2 sisters and a brother, all over 30, and none of them were married.:001_smile:

[Greenmama2]

Wow, perhaps it's a US thing or perhaps it's skewed by the high religious population here but in Australia you can be considered a "young parent" (said with a sneer) if you have a baby under 25! There are special assistance programmes for parents in their early twenties.

DD was born a day after my 30th and DS three years later. I'll be 35 in a few weeks and I certainly don't feel to old to have more. I'd love more but I'd rather skip the pregnancies :p

The vast majority of parents I know with similarly aged children are within five years of my own age.