Have you ever felt disappointment when you found out you were pg?

[Tap]

When you first found out that you were pregnant, have you ever felt disappointed or another similar feeling?

[Joanne]

Yes, with my third. XH was unemployed and life was already...hard.

[AngelBee]

Scared, but never disappointed.

[fairfarmhand]

twice. With my first and with my last.

 

Just wasn't planning on babies at that point....

[Daisy]

Disappointed only in the timing. I imagine that is the way the op in the other thread feels. It took me years to get pregnant with my daughter and I really wanted more time between children. Hubby convinced me to start trying out of fear that it would take a long time again (I have medical issues. Getting pregnant is difficult and being pregnant is difficult). To my disappointment, it happened quicker than I thought. It was just an emotional reaction. I got over it and was thrilled to have my son and I see now that the timing was in God's hands and not mine.

[lionfamily1999]

I said "yes," but it was not disappointment so much as stark terror ;) I just figured that fit under "similar feelings."

[Meriwether]

Dd7 wasn't planned (well, most of them weren't), but when we added up the numbers, she cost us about $70,000 before she was even born.:tongue_smilie: I was thrilled, though, with all of them.

[HRAAB]

No, I haven't, but all of ours were planned, and our plans didn't go awry. :001_smile: That doesn't mean I can't understand feeling unhappy over an unplanned pregnancy. I can imagine several times in my life when I had other things going on, and I probably would have felt disappointed about a pregnancy. That doesn't mean you won't love that baby as much as a planned one or enjoy the pregnancy as much. It might just take some more time adjusting to the idea.

[Lainey]

No, I haven't, but probably if I got pregnant at this stage in life, it would be a shock and take an adjustment to get used to the idea.

[Punchie]

Yes. Disappointed w/timing on pregnancy #1 and #3, though not w/the pregnancies themselves.

[herbalgirl]

With my 5th, I found out I was pg when my 4th was only 13 months old. There are just 19 months in between my 3rd and 4th, and my 3rd was about 10lbs. at birth. I was t.i.r.e.d. Maybe disappointed is the wrong word, I don't know. I just know I wasn't totally happy, and that it took until I was almost half way through to *feel* excited. I think morning sickness had something to do with it.

 

It is true what everyone says, though. Once that baby is here, you are not disappointed, upset, etc, anymore. In fact, sometimes I feel sadness for feeling disappointed while pg with her! Uugh! We always heap guilt upon ourselves...

 

ETA: After typing this all out, a bunch of other people posted, too. :) I agree, it was disappointment with the timing, not the pg itself. I did want another, but just wanted more of a break.

Edited February 11, 2011 by herbalgirl

[Paige]

It wasn't that I was disappointed when I found out I was pregnant but I was very unhappy for a while when I found out that we were most likely expecting 2 babies instead of 1. It's a game changer whenever you unexpectedly find out that you are having a child that wasn't planned. I feel really guilty now for being less than excited at first but I went home from that Dr appt, went straight to bed, and cried for a long time.

[SailorMom]

I voted no - but I only have two children, both planned. I can imagine that if there was an unexpected pregnancy now - especially since there would be a 14 year gap between the kids - I would feel very conflicted.

[Crissy]

Scared, but never disappointed.

 

:iagree:

 

I was a single and very scared. But also ridiculously happy.

[Heatherwith4]

Not disappointed, but certainly freaked! :)

[zaichiki]

Disappointment. Dread. Despair, even.

 

We weren't expecting or planning on it. It took me the entirire pregnancy to get used to the idea. It was the night before the birth that I finally embraced the idea of another baby.

 

Of course we wouldn't have it any other way NOW! :D

I can't imagine not having my child.

Every one of our children has been a true blessing.

 

Now I realize that our family had not been complete. (I just didn't know it at the time.)

[BakersDozen]

With #1 and #2. I cried buckets when I found out about #2, yelled at the doctor who had insisted on a pg test for me. Ironically my tears now are of not being/staying pg and what I have to go through just to hope for a little one. Life is funny that way.

[FaithManor]

Don't ask me about the melt down I had in the OBGYN's office during the 5th month of my last pregnancy! It was serious. I wasn't supposed to be having anymore because of a blood clotting problem I developed during the previous pregnancy. Despite charting for abstaining during that crucial period, and two back-up methods of birth control, I ended up pregnant.

 

He's my precious buddy now and when the other two boys are in college and he still has a year at home, I'm planning on some grand adventures with him. But, boy....that was one rocky pregnancy.

 

Faith

[Kim in Appalachia]

I can imagine feeling disappointed, at least for a bit, if it was not expected. Children are wonderful, but also a lot of work.

[SproutMamaK]

Not personally, and I've had my share of surprises, lol, but I certainly can understand why someone would feel that way and sympathize with them.

[Joker]

Yes, with my second. I was still trying to get over losing my dad and brother and did not want to take care of another person just yet. I actually wasn't happy about it until after she was here. I still feel guilt about the way I felt.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I voted yes, but it was more like panic because my first was only 7 mos. old at the time! I had planned on waiting a while between kids. But, now I couldn't be happier that they are so close in age.

[CalicoKat]

I'll be the token other. When our case worker called about our 5th, youngest dd's arrival, I was overwhelmed at the thought of parenting 5 children. And then I learned about her health history and I cried for a whole weekend because I didn't know if I could handle it. I was content to be done with #4. DH was the happy grinning fool across the room from me always listening and handing me tissues saying, "She's our daughter!"

 

She's now 3 and she has been the biggest blessing & joy in my life!

 

And we now have 6 children and I'm certain we're not finished. :D DH is ready to be done though. We'll see.

[ScoutTN]

No! I've only been pg twice and have two lovely children - both "miracle babies" in a medical sense. We had major IF issues and I was 39 and 41 when they were born, so nothing but thankfulness here.

 

But if I were to be pg now, at 44, I can see myself being fearful and I can certainly understand many pp's reactions to the timing of a pg!

[Krista in LA]

I said no because both of mine were planned. However, if I would become pregnant now, at 43, with two teenagers, I most definitely would be.

[Tylianna]

When I was pg with my 3rd, I cried, and didn't tell DH that I was pg, when I first found out. When I did tell him, he was thrilled, but I was scared out of my mind. How were we going to take care of ANOTHER one? It turned out to be just fine, and she was born the day before my oldest's third birthday. I guess I was just overwhelmed with having a 2 yo and a 9 month old at the time. I even considered adoption... but, that was just hormones speaking at the time, I couldn't even imagine how that would have felt.

[mazakaal]

Yes, with my fifth. I was surprised and, maybe not disappointed, but definitely not excited. After a little while I got used to the idea and became excited and attached to the baby. I miscarried a couple of months later. And there was guilt.

[LBS]

just the teensiest bit diappointed with the second pregnancy, because I was lucky enough to be able to plan my pregnancies, even though I waited till I was 31 to get married. I wanted to have all my babies have spread out birthdays, and #2 was due right at my mother-in-law's birthday. She was/is very possessive and kinda MOMzilla, and she acted like #2 would belong to her, because of their birthdays being close. I got pregnant a month early with #3, but then he arrived three weeks early, so my planning was for naught.

 

I had three healthy babies, that's all that matters, of course, but it was fun to try to plan. Husband thought it was fun. Joy overlaid all other emotion, once we were sure, and once we got safely past each goal: 12 weeks, first sonogram, etc.

 

LBS

[Celia]

My first child was seriously coliky and didn't sleep for more than 45mins at a time for the first 1.5years of his life, only making it to 4hours by the time he was 3.

 

We adopted #2 who came home at 16months of age (I didn't want another infant, and ended up on bedrest for the previous pregnancy)

 

A few months after coming home, I fell pregnant. We were going through the adjustment period with my daughter settling into her new life. I had post-adoption depression. Oh man, did I cry. And cry and cry!

 

I ended up on bedrest again, and he was nearly 11lbs at birth and got stuck. Insanely painful.

But now I can't imagine life without him.

[Unicorn.]

I voted other. I was ecstatic at being pregnant. Shocked, but excited at having twins, but disappointed when I found out they were both girls. I wanted one of each, so I could spoil the little girl rotten. ( I already had boy stuff, so I could have bought tons of pretty dresses and things.) Oh well, I wouldn't change a thing now. And they wouldn't have worn the pretty dresses anyway. They get in the way of climbing trees. :D

[tonersl]

I said "yes," but it was not disappointment so much as stark terror ;) I just figured that fit under "similar feelings."

 

:iagree: My first 2 were 19 months apart and I panicked. It has all worked out wonderfully and I wouldn't change a thing now.

 

Shannon in NC

[littlebug42]

I voted other because while both of my girls were planned, I absolutely do not want to have any more children. Just the thought of being pregnant again, does horrible emotional things to me. If I were to get pregnant again, emotionally, I would not be in a good place. I'm sure I would eventually get over it but it would certainly be there in the beginning.

[Abigail4476]

I answered no because we were looking forward to all three of ours, but I can understand how a pregnancy could seem like a burden at certain times. Feelings are just feelings - they don't mean all that much in the grand scheme of things, and they are highly fluid.

[Mabelen]

I was in shock with my last pregnancy! We had been trying for years and finally happily given up and we were counting our blessings and possibilities -foreign travel, nice colllege for older dd, etc.- when.... tada!

 

I cried when the line turned positive. My initial thoughts were how my dh could kiss his early retirement dreams goodbye and how I already would be 40 when this baby was born! Thankfully my dh was ecstatic about it and didn't seem to mind about his shattered retirement dreams, lol! It took me a couple of days to realize that I actually wanted this baby but wouldn't it be grand if we could just skip the pregnancy part??? The pregnancy ended up being high risk and tightly managed but everything went well and of course I couldn't be happier that she came into our lives!

[nukeswife]

I voted no, because all 3 of ours were planned and I never have any problems during pregnancy. If it weren't for moving all the time and deployments we most likely would have planned for more children, but 3 is what we felt we could handle with dh's job being what it is. If I were to get PG now I wouldn't be disappointed, but I'd wonder what the h*LL the docs did to hose up "the snip". :tongue_smilie: DH might be disappointed though because I really didn't want him to have the procedure, but understood where he was coming from and agreed to it.

[lionfamily1999]

:iagree: My first 2 were 19 months apart and I panicked. It has all worked out wonderfully and I wouldn't change a thing now.

 

Shannon in NC

I was 15 when pregnant with dd. Disappointment wasn't even in the equation... but I figured terror would go with those feelings.

[ladydusk]

We tried and tried for our first, and were ecstatic when I was pregnant. We were excited when we found out we were expecting #2 when she was 6 months or so. We wanted another after #2, but perhaps not quite so soon after. We ended up with 3 children 32 months apart. I was sad to be pregnant already with #3, but mostly I was tired of being pregnant.

 

If we could guarantee a boy for #4 ... I'm all ready for it ...

[3peasinapod]

I did with my 2nd. My 1st was only 9 months old, and I was just dumbfounded. Even up until she was born and maybe even a week in, I looked at her like she wasn't mine. She found her place now, my little sweet-natured one!

[texasmama]

With one baby, I was terribly shocked and afraid. It wasn't good timing. I love that baby so much now and am ever so grateful that one joined us.:001_smile:

[FO4UR]

Disappointed in the timing...

 

mine are 26mo and 14mo apart...I had 3 in diapers at once and no twins. :svengo: Dh was in seminary all the while...it was a very difficult 2-3 years after my 3rd was born. I'm just now starting to feel like I can be a mother *AND* get daily showers too.

 

I LOVE the timing/spacing now though. They are so close and our home would feel so empty without any one of them. It's kinda nice for HSing too...all these phonics materials I over-bought for ds8 comes in handy with the other two.:lol:

[Night Elf]

No, only because I had to work at it to get pregnant. I'd love a surprise pregnancy. But it would be a huge surprise considering DH got a vasectomy 10 years ago. But that's another story.

 

However, I totally understand that some people might feel disappointed if a pregnancy wasn't planned.

[RoughCollie]

I was thrilled, but scared about having triplets, and I had to ditch my carefully planned and worked for future. The second time around, I was astonished -- it was an answer to prayer, however.

[Year Round Mom]

Like others have posted, it was the timing that made me...disappointed (actually, I'm a very emotional person; I was more mad than anything!).

 

But Baby #3 turned out so sweet and cute, I couldn't imagine life without her! She's three and it's a blast to see my kiddies all laugh and play together. Besides, who would my older DD boss around if not for second DD? :tongue_smilie:

[katemary63]

No, I haven't, but all of ours were planned, and our plans didn't go awry. :001_smile: That doesn't mean I can't understand feeling unhappy over an unplanned pregnancy. I can imagine several times in my life when I had other things going on, and I probably would have felt disappointed about a pregnancy. That doesn't mean you won't love that baby as much as a planned one or enjoy the pregnancy as much. It might just take some more time adjusting to the idea.

 

:iagree: My sister was devastated when she discovered that she was pregnant with her third. Her husband was a huge jerk and she was miserable with him and considering leaving him. If I had been her, I'd have been "disappointed" too. As it turned out, she stayed with him many more years and was miserable the whole time. I've just been blessed to have a wonderful husband (I don't take any credit, he's just wonderful and I'm blessed) and to never have gotten pregnant accidentally. But I would have felt exactly like her if I had been in those circumstances or others that were difficult. Life's tough and things don't always go as planned or desired. We all have to adjust to what comes our way.

Edited February 11, 2011 by katemary63

[AlmiraGulch]

I did, with the first. I had JUST gotten married (as in, I was married in early Sept and had DD1 in early July, and she was due late June), took appropriate precautions and had absolutely no intention of having a baby for at least a few years.

 

I was devastated.

 

To make it worse, I didn't look or feel pregnant til I was far into my pregnancy. I was never sick a day, nor tired, had no cravings, and didn't look pregnant at all until I was nearly 6 months when I woke up one morning with a tummy. I wore my regular jeans (size 4 at the time) until then. And I only gained 17 pounds the whole time.

 

The same day I had to wear different pants I felt her move, and then I was in LOVE. :001_wub: It was rough going for me mentally until that point, though.

[Crimson Wife]

We found out that I was pregnant with our oldest 2 weeks after DH had gotten accepted to graduate school. We always wanted kids but the timing was horrendous. God has a plan for each of us, I know, but at the time is was sure hard to trust He knew what he was doing!

[jennynd]

my second one. just didn't expected it. and I miscarried and made me realized how bad I want it. I was pg again after 8 months and fully prepared

[Once]

No, but I can understand why people occassionally feel that way. Having a new child requires a lot from you.....physically, mentally, and financially. If you have other plans then it just gets more confusing especially if you know the value of life and want to celebrate it.

[FeFe]

Yes, the first one when I was 19 and unwed. And the last one after a medical issue with my third.

 

My bookends :) I wouldn't want to imagine life without them now!

[DarlaS]

I voted no, but all my kids were planned.

 

Had that not been the case or if I had something else in mind, then I would, no doubt be disappointed. It would certainly be a normal reaction in many circumstances.