Homeschooling when a child would do well in a public school

[Jean in Newcastle]

I never have had any doubts about homeschooling ds13. He would not have been well served by public education. But dd9? She's a high energy extrovert who wears me out wanting more and more to occupy her and more and more interaction with people. She's also been difficult to school because her learning needs are so different from ds's (and mine). The learning needs are being addressed now since I got advice here on dealing with her learning style/difficulties.

 

I was talking to dh last night and was bemused to find that he was the one adamant that she needs to be homeschooled (he was always on the fence about homeschooling in the past). He feels that her need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead her astray (character wise) if she were in public school. I'm going to admit that I do not want unbiased advice on this thread. I want encouragement to keep homeschooling her. I want to be bolstered in my resolve and am asking you to give me a backbone!

[Carol in Cal.]

For my DD, homeschooling meant that she had time for things. More time for deep, meaningful talks with her friends, more time for hikes, with them or with us, more time for elaborate projects, with or without teammates, more time for pursuing her interests outside of school.

 

She is in a brick and mortar high school now, and although I knew it would mean that she would have less time, the difference is pretty staggering. I believe that I did right to put her in this school, and she is having a good time and doing well there; but it has highlighted for me how glad I am that up through 8th grade she had the gift of time. I think of all the extraordinary things that she did, and I'm so so so glad that I was able to give her the opportunity and the space to do them.

[LG Gone Wild]

I would keep hsing my kids because I disagree with the current culture of idleness as promoted in most schools.

 

Plus, I could never hacked it in the PTA.

[simka2]

All of my kids would do fine and would like to go back to school. I homeschool because it does a few things...

 

offers the best possible education

provides time and flexibilty to really get into certain projects

lots of trips to the library and museums

avoids allergens (in one kid)

my family is calmer...which allows more energy for extracurriculur activities (mainly sports, crafts, and horses)

 

It is the best for our family unit right now.

[Carrie12345]

My 8yo would do well in public school, by public school standards. (Not so much the 12 and 7yos)

She's home because I know we can do better than that. Academically, socially, and emotionally.

Plus, our bus stop is a mile away and full of psycho drivers. :tongue_smilie:

[coffeegal]

Here's a few reasons of ours. :D

 

1. Being able to set our own schedule

2. Taking holidays and vacations when we would enjoy them

3. Being able to study subjects that interest the child. A couple of my children really want to study ancient Greek. :confused: We have the time!

4. Moving as fast or slow as your child needs. No waiting for the class to catch up.

5. Time. The children would catch the bus around 8 in the morning, and return around 4 in the afternoon. Since our school hours don't take that long, the children have plenty of time for other interests and hobbies.

[Unicorn.]

I never have had any doubts about homeschooling ds13. He would not have been well served by public education. But dd9? She's a high energy extrovert who wears me out wanting more and more to occupy her and more and more interaction with people. She's also been difficult to school because her learning needs are so different from ds's (and mine). The learning needs are being addressed now since I got advice here on dealing with her learning style/difficulties.

 

I was talking to dh last night and was bemused to find that he was the one adamant that she needs to be homeschooled (he was always on the fence about homeschooling in the past). He feels that her need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead her astray (character wise) if she were in public school. I'm going to admit that I do not want unbiased advice on this thread. I want encouragement to keep homeschooling her. I want to be bolstered in my resolve and am asking you to give me a backbone!

 

I think we have the same dd. I don't want to homeschool this child anymore. She is just as you described yours- needs that social interaction etc. Dh is also saying exactly what your dh is saying. I don't think it's fair to her sister though, because her twin is missing out on so much becuase of her. I am torn, but like you, am looking for reasons to continue. :grouphug: You are not alone.

[jenL]

I worry about this with my youngest son. However, we are committed to persevere for him when it's time. We also do not like the culture in the public schools, and we agree that homeschooling provides a lifestyle that is flexible, full of free time for the kids, and enriching academically and culturally.

 

Is there any way you could get your dd involved in homeschooling activities outside of the home? Maybe girl scouts, 4-H, drama or art classes? That way she is out with other kids fulfilling the social needs. Maybe a weekly girl playdate/gathering? I know your health has been an issue, so if these things are not possible, do not feel guilty.

 

This is still the best choice overall for our children - how's that for unbiased? - and you can keep doing this! It may be time to get creative with her and how things are presented. As your dh says, being in school may lead her astray... plus, you can't talk much in school anyway without getting into trouble. You're doing a GREAT thing, Jean! Don't give up!

Edited January 26, 2011 by jenL

[M&MsMom]

From the article:

 

Last month, the results of the most recent Programme for International Student Assessment, or PISA, tests were announced. It was the first time that Chinese students had participated, and children from Shanghai ranked first in every single area. Students from the United States, meanwhile, came in seventeenth in reading, twenty-third in science, and an especially demoralizing thirty-first in math. This last ranking put American kids not just behind the Chinese, the Koreans, and the Singaporeans but also after the French, the Austrians, the Hungarians, the Slovenians, the Estonians, and the Poles.

“I know skeptics will want to argue with the results, but we consider them to be accurate and reliable,†Arne Duncan, the U.S. Secretary of Education, told the Times. “The United States came in twenty-third or twenty-fourth in most subjects. We can quibble, or we can face the brutal truth that we’re being out-educated.â€

 

31st in math?1? That's the only reason I need, even though I've had the same thoughts as you. :tongue_smilie:

 

Mindy

[AuntieM]

I never have had any doubts about homeschooling ds13. He would not have been well served by public education. But dd9? She's a high energy extrovert who wears me out wanting more and more to occupy her and more and more interaction with people. She's also been difficult to school because her learning needs are so different from ds's (and mine). The learning needs are being addressed now since I got advice here on dealing with her learning style/difficulties.

 

I was talking to dh last night and was bemused to find that he was the one adamant that she needs to be homeschooled (he was always on the fence about homeschooling in the past). He feels that her need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead her astray (character wise) if she were in public school. I'm going to admit that I do not want unbiased advice on this thread. I want encouragement to keep homeschooling her. I want to be bolstered in my resolve and am asking you to give me a backbone!

 

Dear Jean, I have a daughter much like this. She would *LOVE* the society that an institutional school would offer, and she does very well when challenged academically by a motivated peer group. However... for many years we were bouncing around the country. I could just see that, in an effort to make friends, she would toss over the academics for social approval. She would tend towards the "fun" stuff, to the detriment of her studies. I know this girl, I love this girl, I know her strengths... but it is her weakness that has kept her out of institutional school to this point.

 

We have decided that she will be attending a local Christian high school next year. I am so excited for her! She is a smart girl, and I believe that in the proper setting - this one that has *finally* become a real opportunity - she will excel academically and will have a TON OF FUN!

 

Girls, especially at the middle school ages, can be so incredibly nasty to one another. It's a good time to keep her at home, unless there is a quality, highly supervised outschool option. In our case, the local public school wouldn't come anywhere close to filling the bill.

 

Has she been able to continue in gymnastics? I remember last year there was some discussion and perhaps you have discontinued that? Anyway, my point is, has the social time she enjoyed there been replaced with other opportunities?

 

In the end, this is what my husband always tells me: you have to put the mask on yourself first (you know, from the airline attendant safety spiel?). You have faced some tremendous health issues this year. That has got to be part of your consideration for her future studies, if she is as (I hate to use this negative word here, but I speak from personal experience) draining as she may be (as my own daughter sucks me dry at times), it might be worth it to look into some alternatives to 100% home study. Are you able to participate in some co-op experiences?

[Princess Peach]

I just hashed this same thing out with DH: Public school/Christian school/homeschool. We decided to keep homeschooling. For us, we had to get back to the reasons that caused us to choose hs'ing in the first place. That helped.

 

We also agreed that it was best for our family that I do not work outside the home at this time. So Christian school was out. (it's expensive, so I would need to work to afford it). We couldn't allow our kids to go to public school where the teachers and students (and parents of students) would not be backing up our Christian beliefs and lifestyle. So public school was out.

 

So, then, ourselves rededicated to continuing homeschooling, we hatched a plan whereby my concerns were addressed. We are going to plan several field trips next year, we are going to get involved in a homeschool group and/or some sort of activity for the kids, and DH is going to take on a bigger role (he is going to be doing the science experiments with older DS, for one thing).

 

I hope some of that helped. It's a good thing that your DH is behind hs'ing. A really, really good thing. Now tell him what you need to happen so that you can feel that comfortable with it.

[scrapbookbuzz]

You are your child's best teacher! You know her better than anyone except God. :^) If you can, get her involved in a homeschool drama or dance class, for the extra activity she craves. And consistently review your reasons for homeschooling in the first place. HTH!

[fairfarmhand]

my second dd is a follower. She'd likely be led astray. Is there are nursing home visitation program she could help in? IS there a shut in lady she could minister to? She is almost at the age you could drop her off with a feeble lady and be a BIG help. (depending on her maturity level) Is there a mom with small toddlers that needs someone to entertain them while she folds laundry? I did these kinds of things starting around age 10. They would get her out from underfoot and help you out, while giving her some interaction.

Edited January 26, 2011 by fairfarmhand

[Dawn in OH]

I think that one should not overlook the overall quality of life that is gained by homeschooling. When you attend public school, so much of your time is wasted. Time is wasted lining up for the bathroom, lunch, recess, the bus, etc. In addition, so much of the time in school is review because everyone forgot what they learned over the summer and other breaks. The actual time away from home verses the actual learning time is not balanced.

 

I feel that with homeschooling you can get a greater amount of education in a smaller amount of time. This leaves the child, and the family, more time for pursuing their own interests.

 

I also think the public school environment is unhealthy. It is not natural to sit in a chair all day, in a room with windows that do not open. In many schools recess and physical education time has been reduced or eliminated. The children need to get up and move around, breathe the fresh air and get some exercise.

 

That's just one of many arguments I have in favor of homeschooling, but it seemed like a good one for today.

[fairfarmhand]

I just hashed this same thing out with DH: Public school/Christian school/homeschool. We decided to keep homeschooling. For us, we had to get back to the reasons that caused us to choose hs'ing in the first place. That helped.

 

We also agreed that it was best for our family that I do not work outside the home at this time. So Christian school was out. (it's expensive, so I would need to work to afford it). We couldn't allow our kids to go to public school where the teachers and students (and parents of students) would not be backing up our Christian beliefs and lifestyle. So public school was out.

 

So, then, ourselves rededicated to continuing homeschooling, we hatched a plan whereby my concerns were addressed. We are going to plan several field trips next year, we are going to get involved in a homeschool group and/or some sort of activity for the kids, and DH is going to take on a bigger role (he is going to be doing the science experiments with older DS, for one thing).

 

I hope some of that helped. It's a good thing that your DH is behind hs'ing. A really, really good thing. Now tell him what you need to happen so that you can feel that comfortable with it.

 

 

this too for us. My oldest dd is my introvert. We have become REALLY involved with 4-H mostly for her sake.

[dangermom]

Both my kids would do very well in public school. My reasons for homeschooling them are because we feel that we can do better academically and have more free time, and be together as a family.

 

My girls love their friends and are very social, so I try to pack time with friends into the afternoons. I kind of figure that part of my job as a homeschooling mom is to be really proactive in getting them plenty of social time, so I put effort into it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Some basic responses:

 

She still does gymnastics but is not on the team. She sees many of her teammates and has on-going friendships with them.

 

She has neighborhood friends. This has actually been a bit of a problem since she's picking up Diva-like attitudes from some of them. We're working on it.

 

I took her down to the local elementary yesterday and she was informally evaluated by the speech therapist. She will be formally evaluated in two weeks. The therapist was pretty certain that she would be given speech therapy there once a week.

 

We're not doing any homeschool co-ops at this time. I might look into it but ds is getting into high school work and it's hard to meet his academic needs if we're out too much.

 

She's active in our kid's ministry at church. She's in a play this weekend with the kid's ministry. Since up to 2 years ago she had selective mutism, this is huge for her.

 

We have a ministry to the elderly and she participates. She gets to play with a baby tomorrow and is ecstatic because she loves babies.

 

Over-all my health is doing great for the last month. However 3 days ago I started a "flare" of my fibromyalgia which has put me in increasing pain. So far, I've been able to ignore it although it takes all my concentration to do so.

 

Dh is helping as he can. He cleaned the kitchen this morning and would not let me lift a finger. :001_wub: The nerve of the man!;) Couldn't he see he was doing it all wrong?!:D He helps school dd in spelling and math when he can.

Edited January 26, 2011 by Jean in Newcastle

[Farrar]

A friend of mine and I were talking about this very issue - she feels her son would be happier and perhaps better adjusted in general with the schedule and more clear cut intellectual and social expectations in school. But she feels like he would miss out on being challenged intellectually at all. So she does the best she can to get him involved in social activities most days to make up for it. I'm sure my kids could get along in ps (or, at least, in most public schools - maybe not our inner city ones), but I can't think of any benefits of it for them - they're happy at home, learning more, being exposed to more books and ideas, happy with their friends, etc. It was interesting to me to think of the ways in which homeschooling can be a trade off - what's most important to emphasize and what are you losing but also gaining for a kid who might benefit from aspects of school. And then, what can you do to mitigate the things that are drawbacks for that individual kid while still maintaining the benefits of homeschooling?

[jujsky]

Jean, just because a child would do well in public school does not mean they would do BETTER in public school. My DS would fail miserably in PS -- or rather, the schools would fail HIM miserably. I'm sure my daughter would do very well. She's smart, motivated, a brown-nosing "people pleaser" and well-liked by her peers. She's a bit on the shy-side, but I don't think it would hurt her success at school. I know she would have friends and be an A-B student.

 

So what wouldn't she have if she went to school? A solid history and science education, working at her own pace (she is currently working a year ahead of her age-grade), working at her own speed (she is a nit-picky perfectionist so it often takes a LOOOOOONG time for her to finish her work, but she does it really well), being pushed to meet her full potential (they would so let her skate by because she's not a "problem student"), one-on-one time with her family, and her activities. I don't think I could have her in as many extra-curricular activities as she's in now and expect her to do well in school if I sent her -- not with the ridiculous amount of homework I see her friends bringing home in 1st grade!!!!! She would also miss out on the fun & educational field trips we take, vacations that we take when school is in session (including her surprise trip to Washington DC next month to see a Russian ballet with the ILs), sleeping in, taking nice days off instead of snow days, etc.

 

Just because she would do fine doesn't mean she wouldn't miss out in other areas. Homeschooling provides so many unique, enriching opportunities that most kids in school don't get to experience.

 

Did I convince you? ;)

[MicheleinMN]

I have two children who would do well academically in ps and two more who would do well socially, but I know that my academic children will get more out of their education at home, and also that the 2 social children would only do the very minimum necessary to get through class (much like they try to do at home now).

 

An academically inclined child will do even better at home because they can learn at his/her own pace. A social child will probably ignore academics in favor of peers and entertainment, so again not the environment I would choose.

 

HTH

[Guest]

All of my kids would do fine and would like to go back to school. I homeschool because it does a few things...

 

offers the best possible education

provides time and flexibilty to really get into certain projects

lots of trips to the library and museums

avoids allergens (in one kid)

my family is calmer...which allows more energy for extracurriculur activities (mainly sports, crafts, and horses)

 

It is the best for our family unit right now.

 

We actually started homeschooling to avoid allergens. Most have since been outgrown, but we continue because of the quality of the education they get at home (although our school district is surprisingly good, academically), and the behavior of some of the other kids at school. I keep thinking maybe I'll send them back "next year" but I haven't been able to do that.

[LittleIzumi]

I am thinking about the very unique charter schools around here, and possibly afterschooling their loves. I want to try it out. If it doesn't work well, we'll go back to homeschooling. I'm only looking at the Charlotte Mason & Montessori charter schools, as those are the styles that really fit my children even in a homeschool setting.

[sheryl]

I never have had any doubts about homeschooling ds13. He would not have been well served by public education. But dd9? She's a high energy extrovert who wears me out wanting more and more to occupy her and more and more interaction with people. She's also been difficult to school because her learning needs are so different from ds's (and mine). The learning needs are being addressed now since I got advice here on dealing with her learning style/difficulties.

 

I was talking to dh last night and was bemused to find that he was the one adamant that she needs to be homeschooled (he was always on the fence about homeschooling in the past). He feels that her need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead her astray (character wise) if she were in public school. I'm going to admit that I do not want unbiased advice on this thread. I want encouragement to keep homeschooling her. I want to be bolstered in my resolve and am asking you to give me a backbone!

 

Good for your dh.

 

Encouragement to keep h'schooling her. Jean, it sounds like you just need a break. If I'm remembering your other posts, you may have your hands full sometimes with your dd. Now, please know I say that with respect. And, I may have you mixed up with someone else. You may know of my own almost 12 yo dd's special needs and how hard it's been here. I know I need a break. But, what does a break look like? What does socialization look like?

 

Well, I have her doing her math independently...book and dvd. She grades her work. I check to find out if there is a consistent weakness to work through. Language is easy for her. Then we have History (almost finished and will replace with Science), health, writing. And, a few extras.

 

Can you change your expectations *some* to adjust for her learning style? Can she do every other math problem or every other language statement and still learn?

 

My dd goes to a science co-op every other Fri. for socialization mainly, but to also learn under another authority figure/adult. She socializes with kids at TH morning Bible study with other homeschoolers, church on SUndays and after school with girls here on the street who go to ps. We arrange homeschool playdates as they don't live right here. We both enjoy horseback riding lessons once a week with other homeschooling families.

 

Can you find a co-op or homeschool group in which she could participate? Either academically or purely enhancement/fun.

 

Do you have a friend with whom you could trade 1 day a week. A friend of mine and I trade homeschooling one day a week. One MOnday her son comes here. The next Monday my dd goes there. There really isn't instruction of the other child as the parent set that up beforehand, so it's the child doing the work only. It gives me a break for me. It is also good interaction/socialization for my dd to be in the presence of another homeschooling family every other MOnday at their house. It's good for the other child for the same reasons. And, it's good for the hosting mom b/c it's almost like our kids "need" this to spur one another on to get their work done. Friendly competition maybe. Wanting to "keep up".

 

My friend is moving a few miles away and we will not be able to continue this arrangement past this May, but this current school year has been a blessing in that regard.

 

In short, it sounds like you may need to jump start your creative side and look for "opportunities" for your dd (alone and/or with you). I'm of the mindset that kids do not need constant socialization. My dd actually likes being home. In fact, I have to find those same opportunities for her as we could stay home too much. With those opportunities may come the enrichment/socialization that she so desires and help put perspective in place for you.

 

Sheryl <><

[JudoMom]

I never have had any doubts about homeschooling ds13. He would not have been well served by public education. But dd9? She's a high energy extrovert who wears me out wanting more and more to occupy her and more and more interaction with people. She's also been difficult to school because her learning needs are so different from ds's (and mine). The learning needs are being addressed now since I got advice here on dealing with her learning style/difficulties.

 

I was talking to dh last night and was bemused to find that he was the one adamant that she needs to be homeschooled (he was always on the fence about homeschooling in the past). He feels that her need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead her astray (character wise) if she were in public school. I'm going to admit that I do not want unbiased advice on this thread. I want encouragement to keep homeschooling her. I want to be bolstered in my resolve and am asking you to give me a backbone!

 

Your husband is right. Most likely, the hours you would have with your dd after school (if you sent her) would be spent undoing & correcting behaviors and attitudes she's picked up (not to mention doing homework). It sounds like she's getting plenty of social time, and knowing how to be alone with yourself and your thoughts and ideas at times is a good thing to learn, even with extroverts :).

[momofkhm]

He feels that her need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead her astray (character wise) if she were in public school. I'm going to admit that I do not want unbiased advice on this thread. I want encouragement to keep homeschooling her. I want to be bolstered in my resolve and am asking you to give me a backbone!

 

OK, Jean, here you have it. :)

 

All of my kids would do well in public school. They are smart, focused, and just plain good kids. But the main reason they are not in school is the peer interaction. I feel I can do a good job with them at home. But they are home mostly so they don't have the peer pressure from others. My girls started at a private school (and will go back to said private school if the need arose) but even in K I knew my middle could easily be the object of a bully. As I sent her off to school, I knew if she ever got in trouble it would be because someone talked her into something. That was in K and I feel it is still true at 13.

 

My youngest is the extrovert in the group. He needs the interaction with others. He gets it through sports and our co-op. He is the only one of my kids with a friend in the neighborhood. Thankfully so! (That he has a friend, not the lack of friends for my girls.)

 

It will be hard but you can do it. Especially if dh thinks you should. Hopefully that means he will be willing to help as well.

[GWOB]

I never have had any doubts about homeschooling ds13. He would not have been well served by public education. But dd9? She's a high energy extrovert who wears me out wanting more and more to occupy her and more and more interaction with people. She's also been difficult to school because her learning needs are so different from ds's (and mine). The learning needs are being addressed now since I got advice here on dealing with her learning style/difficulties.

 

I was talking to dh last night and was bemused to find that he was the one adamant that she needs to be homeschooled (he was always on the fence about homeschooling in the past). He feels that her need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead her astray (character wise) if she were in public school. I'm going to admit that I do not want unbiased advice on this thread. I want encouragement to keep homeschooling her. I want to be bolstered in my resolve and am asking you to give me a backbone!

 

:grouphug: I completely understand your situation. My oldest dd was doing fine in ps. She was a straight-A student and happily did whatever her teachers asked of her. She enjoyed interacting with the other kids there. I know she would have been successful in the ps system, according to the ps standards. However, I came to realize MY standards of success and education did not match up with our local ps's standards. That made all the difference. I wanted more for my dd. I wanted her to go above and beyond. I wanted to teach her hard work and expand her intellectual comfort level. I looked at this child and realized she was easily swayed by the opinions of others. I want her to stand on her own, not constantly worry about the opinions of others. I want our family to be her base of comfort, not a peer group. Do I have occasional panic attacks when I think about the fact that she will likely never be involved in high school sports (which she loves)? You betchya! But, I can see the benefits of hsing her, and I wouldn't put her back into the ps system just to have those benefits undone.

[Margo out of lurking]

Our reasons for hsing had nothing to do with how well my dd was doing in her ps, a top-rated charter school in a top school district in Denver. It had everything to do with doing what we knew to be the right thing for our family, for our daughter.

 

Nine years later, I have no doubt my dd would continue to do well in ps. My younger ds, however, would have been a typical "boy," bored, and easily distracted, likely turning disruptive. I don't take that as a bad thing though. :) Hsing for us is a lifestyle; one we are unwilling to change.

[Night Elf]

Um, well, yeah, I guess my children would be okay in school. Maybe not ds14 so much since he has Asperger's, but I don't homeschool because they can't handle school.

 

I was okay in school too. That doesn't mean I couldn't have benefitted from a different experience.

 

My dd12 is a social butterfly. The few times we put her in school was strictly to have her around other children to form friendships. It never happened. School is not always the best place to forge a friendship. The last time we let her try was 5th grade and I took her out after 2 months and told her it wasn't ever going to be tried again. We were done.

 

She has a friend right now, also 12 years old, who just asked her parents to let her return to public school after being home for a few years. She didn't share the real reason with her parents, but she told my dd that she wanted to be around "lots and lots of boys". Oh, forgot to add that this friend is trying to talk my dd into going back to school for the same reason. Um, NOT! Egads!

Edited January 26, 2011 by Night Elf

[Retired]

I never have had any doubts about homeschooling ds13. He would not have been well served by public education. But dd9? She's a high energy extrovert who wears me out wanting more and more to occupy her and more and more interaction with people. She's also been difficult to school because her learning needs are so different from ds's (and mine). The learning needs are being addressed now since I got advice here on dealing with her learning style/difficulties.

 

I was talking to dh last night and was bemused to find that he was the one adamant that she needs to be homeschooled (he was always on the fence about homeschooling in the past). He feels that her need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead her astray (character wise) if she were in public school. I'm going to admit that I do not want unbiased advice on this thread. I want encouragement to keep homeschooling her. I want to be bolstered in my resolve and am asking you to give me a backbone!

 

well I have an out going/people person. he wants to be accepted center of attention, dresses cool and to be honest I believe he would be drawn to the bad crowd in school

 

he wears me out but we are finally at our last years he will graduate in 2012

 

I can honestly say I will be glad when he head to college, he is gaining more maturity becoming his own person, secure in himself and I believe he will thrive at college but would of been an emotional mess in high school.

 

You and your DH know your child's temperament if you believe PS would have more negative than positive keep the child at home

 

Honestly I am an introvert and had to really work on myself to get my social guy out the door and thank goodness he is now driving himself

[Veritaserum]

Doing "well" in public school isn't good enough. :) I know my second dd would be a model student and get straight As. However, I also know that she would not be getting anywhere near the same level of education as she gets at home. I was just looking at state standards for various grade levels and I'm appalled by how little is required of public school students. I homeschool because we want our kids to have a quality education. The level of education we desire them to have just isn't likely to be obtained within a public school.

 

And then there are all the negative social things: teasing, bullying, shunning, cliques, foul language, lewd behavior, apathy, laziness, etc. :glare:

 

Yep, we are going to keep homeschooling. :)

[lionfamily1999]

I agree with your dh. You could feed the social butterfly, but at what cost?

[Jean in Newcastle]

I agree with your dh. You could feed the social butterfly, but at what cost?

 

She would turn into a caterpillar?!:D

[lionfamily1999]

She would turn into a caterpillar?!:D

A miniskirtwearing, overmadeup, hatingonmomanddadscar caterpillar. She may even end up smoking the hookah.

[ElizabethB]

A miniskirtwearing, overmadeup, hatingonmomanddadscar caterpillar. She may even end up smoking the hookah.

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

Good thing I wasn't drinking or eating anything while reading this comment!

[Mommy22alyns]

Sure, Becca would probably do fine in PS (as a PP said, by PS standards). We kept her home in large part because we don't want her to conform to PS standards. :glare:

[Liz CA]

One word (or two): Character Development

[Jean in Newcastle]

One word (or two): Character Development

 

Well, which is it?:lol:

[RoughCollie]

My DD is in PS, after being homeschooled during grades 4-6. She has always loved going to school. She is a high energy extrovert. I homeschooled her because I wanted her to develop into an individual and I hated the math program her school used.

 

I do not regret sending her back to school. I am not worried about her getting involved with the wrong crowd or about her doing anything immoral. Her character is developed and she has a very good head on her shoulders. She is her own person, and she is definitely not a follower.

 

She was miserable in homeschool, even though we joined a co-op and she was involved in several outside activities (Girl Scouts, softball, karate). That was never enough for her. She is happy now.

 

I would not have chosen to live where we do now, but if somehow we had ended up here when the kids were small, they would not have attended PS here. A school reflects the community it is in. Enough said.

Edited January 26, 2011 by RoughCollie

[kwickimom]

My DD8 is Miss social butterfly and because of this I was hesitant to HS. Somedays I still wonder if I made the right choice, but then I remind myself-

 

I am more concerned about her influences and her education, than her getting a high level of socialization and interaction with a bunch of 8 year olds. Will this be heard on her sometimes? YES Is it hard on me to have this type of child at home with me all day? YES Is it going to worth it in the end to have her here with the morals I want taught and the level of education taught? HECK YES!

 

Yes in PS she would have the interaction she desires, but she would not have the education my DH and I desire. She does drive me batty constantly wanting me to do things with her, and constantly wanting a friend over, but there is NO WAY I am going to send her back to PS just so she can be around people all day. I feel that an extreme extrovert and an extreme introvert can learn to turn down their desires and meet somewhere in the middle. I do not think I am harming her at all by requiring her to be at home until 3:30 everyday instead of at school.

 

When we broke it down...the time her class is required to sit silently at their desks, stand quietly in line, be quiet for half of indoor recess (because there are more kids than gym and so they split it half and half), sit quietly at their desks while lessons are taught, etc there really isnt all that much social interaction anyways. Our PS even requires quiet during lunch because the echoing of all the voices in the gym and quiet is required on the bus.

 

Afterschool activities, having friends over, talking to me, DH and her brothers, Scouts, tumbling, shopping trips, library trips, weekends with grandparents/cousins/friends is PLENTY of interaction.

 

Besides, kids dont wilt away and die in the summertime when there is no school. Somehow they all manage to make it through those months without their 20-25 peers and a teacher :001_smile:

[Jean in Newcastle]

My DD is in PS, after being homeschooled during grades 4-6. She has always loved going to school. She is a high energy extrovert.

 

I do not regret sending her back to school. I am not worried about her getting involved with the wrong crowd or about her doing anything immoral. Her character is developed and she has a very good head on her shoulders.

 

She was miserable in homeschool. She is happy now.

 

Do I think she would receive a better education in homeschool? Yes, at this school, but not necessarily at the PS she attended in MA.

 

My dear RC. . . did you not get the memo that I wanted a biased answer that talked me into keeping her in homeschool?:D I know, I know, we've talked many times about how similar my dd is to yours. . . :willy_nilly:

[texasmama]

Keep homeschooling her. ;):grouphug:

[Erica in PA]

I never have had any doubts about homeschooling ds13. He would not have been well served by public education. But dd9? She's a high energy extrovert who wears me out wanting more and more to occupy her and more and more interaction with people. She's also been difficult to school because her learning needs are so different from ds's (and mine). The learning needs are being addressed now since I got advice here on dealing with her learning style/difficulties.

 

I was talking to dh last night and was bemused to find that he was the one adamant that she needs to be homeschooled (he was always on the fence about homeschooling in the past). He feels that her need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead her astray (character wise) if she were in public school. I'm going to admit that I do not want unbiased advice on this thread. I want encouragement to keep homeschooling her. I want to be bolstered in my resolve and am asking you to give me a backbone!

 

(Christian perspective here) I have always thought my 10 yos would do great in public school. He is outgoing, friendly, loves group activities, fits in well in any crowd, is a focused worker who is works well at grade level in every subject (not above or behind in anything), teachers love him, etc. I have an older son who works above grade level, and a younger daughter who is struggling with reading, so it's only my 10 yos who I ever really think about putting in school. I am confident that he would be a very good student and enjoy himself most of the time at school.

 

However, what always brings me back is that God has given me these children to raise and instruct, and I simply cannot do that if they are away from home for most of their waking hours. Could the school do a decent job academically with this particular child? Maybe, maybe not. But I know that as his parent, I can do better. He benefits from being in a loving family, being close with his siblings, and most of all, from being taught biblical principles throughout his schooling. I don't want his faith to be something pushed to the side for most of his time, only to come up in the evenings and on weekend. I don't feel that a secular education is the best thing that we can provide for our children. So no matter how much he might enjoy school and do well there, these things are simply more important.

 

We do go to a weekly, full-day co-op which meets 30 weeks of the year, in part so that he and his siblings can get the group experience that they crave. They love it, and it gives a great balance to our week-- 1 day out, then 4 at home. It has really worked well for us.

[Slartibartfast]

I was talking to dh last night and was bemused to find that he was the one adamant that she needs to be homeschooled (he was always on the fence about homeschooling in the past). He feels that her need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead her astray (character wise) if she were in public school. I'm going to admit that I do not want unbiased advice on this thread. I want encouragement to keep homeschooling her. I want to be bolstered in my resolve and am asking you to give me a backbone!

 

I think your husband has a great point, I have had similar concerns with my own dd being in public school. She is very easily influenced.

[RoughCollie]

My dear RC. . . did you not get the memo that I wanted a biased answer that talked me into keeping her in homeschool?:D I know, I know, we've talked many times about how similar my dd is to yours. . . :willy_nilly:

 

DD was in 7th grade before she went back to school. Plus, that year she went to a parochial school -- class size was 12 students.

 

Even though she did not like being homeschooled, I think that keeping her home during those years contributed to her becoming an individual and a person who is not easily influenced by others. OTOH, it could be that this is due to her inherited personality traits and that I made her unhappy for several years for nothing.

 

I checked with our school superintendent at the time (grades 4-6) to see if they would let DD take music, art, Spanish and/or gym there, but they would not. Reason: Other parents might want to do that, too -- and then they wouldn't have enough kids in the regular classroom. For me, that would have been the best of both worlds.

 

This semester, DD is going to school until 10:45 a.m. (3 classes) and taking her remaining classes through her school's virtual academy, at home. It is set up as independent study, so I will be her algebra teacher, and she will be the very reluctant student. She doesn't like the way I teach because I require her to learn the material. She does not like being at home for school to this day. The superintendent made it crystal clear that this can only occur when a child has medical reasons for it and her physician writes a note to request it. As you know, DD has anemia.

Edited January 27, 2011 by RoughCollie

[LibraryLover]

Good luck with whatever you all decide together.

Edited January 27, 2011 by LibraryLover

[WTMCassandra]

Jean,

 

Your daughter reminds me of my own. I am an introvert Mom with an extravert, ADD-inattentive, sensory-seeking daughter. She wears me out.

 

But sometimes parenting requires a paradox. Kind of like the tomato-staking idea, or the "if they're being rotten and you want to pull away, pull them closer" idea. I think this falls into that category.

 

I have joked for years that I didn't send my DD to public school because she would charm the teacher and visit with the students, and people would like her so much that they might not well notice that she doesn't actually DO her work. LOL.

 

I too think that my daughter's need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead my daughter's character astray, so I am right there with your husband.

 

I also think your daughter learns how to get her needs met without draining you, and that is a skill that will take quite some time and practice to acquire. I talk with my daughter about this regularly--she uses me as her stim, literally draining me. I would hate for her to not learn this lesson before, say, going into marriage. She needs to learn how to let God fill the empty places in her heart rather than draining people to try to fill them. So, her learning this lesson is not any fun for me (!), but I pray that other people in her life later will thank me ; ).

 

Also, my DD has even told me that it helps to separate school time and social time. One doesn't distract from the other. And I agree with what the other posters have stated about wanting to keep the quality and focus of high school high, as well as be able to deal with character issues and avoid negative institutional situations.

 

Homeschooling allows us to have room in our schedule for high-quality social and group activities that do help energize her. I am becoming more pro-active about finding those as she reaches high school. But I am definitely homeschooling her through high school.

 

Hope this helps.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Jean,

 

Your daughter reminds me of my own. I am an introvert Mom with an extravert, ADD-inattentive, sensory-seeking daughter. She wears me out.

 

But sometimes parenting requires a paradox. Kind of like the tomato-staking idea, or the "if they're being rotten and you want to pull away, pull them closer" idea. I think this falls into that category.

 

I have joked for years that I didn't send my DD to public school because she would charm the teacher and visit with the students, and people would like her so much that they might not well notice that she doesn't actually DO her work. LOL.

 

I too think that my daughter's need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead my daughter's character astray, so I am right there with your husband.

 

I also think your daughter learns how to get her needs met without draining you, and that is a skill that will take quite some time and practice to acquire. I talk with my daughter about this regularly--she uses me as her stim, literally draining me. I would hate for her to not learn this lesson before, say, going into marriage. She needs to learn how to let God fill the empty places in her heart rather than draining people to try to fill them. So, her learning this lesson is not any fun for me (!), but I pray that other people in her life later will thank me ; ).

 

Also, my DD has even told me that it helps to separate school time and social time. One doesn't distract from the other. And I agree with what the other posters have stated about wanting to keep the quality and focus of high school high, as well as be able to deal with character issues and avoid negative institutional situations.

 

Homeschooling allows us to have room in our schedule for high-quality social and group activities that do help energize her. I am becoming more pro-active about finding those as she reaches high school. But I am definitely homeschooling her through high school.

 

Hope this helps.

 

It helped very much. Thank you.:)

[Liz CA]

Well, which is it?:lol:

 

:lol: Seriously, though I doubt my ds would be the same person if he had attended PS. He was in PS until 5th grade in a small country school and even there the peer pressure and various issues were mind boggling - to me anyway.

I really think you save yourself and your daughter a lot of headaches by homeschooling. Just think over the following terms and slowly let them sink in:

 

Fund raisers: you and dd go from door to door to sell magazines (or whatever)

Teachers: Some are good, some are not so good. Maybe not so significant in the earlier grades but makes a big difference in the HS years.

Peer Pressure: need I say more? You can let your imagination fly wild...unfortunately.

 

These are just a few things. I have not even mentioned (yet) substandard academics (in some schools) and idiotic school policies, inflexible vacation/school days, etc.

 

Is this enough to convince you to continue with the wonderful work you are accomplishing???

[Sandra in FL]

Staying home through 8th grade has allowed dd time - time for our family to grow closer, time to build her character, time for me to teach her a lot of things that she would not have learned in public school.

 

She won a scholarship to a private school and is doing well. I do have to add that the friends that she has made there have pulled her along with them and stretched her to do things that she would normally never have done eg. math competitions. These friends are also recipients of scholarships (typical Chinese students).

 

So there are pluses and minus but I don't regret home schooling her. Lay the strong foundation (academically, spiritually, morally) at home, let her go and watch her fly.

[5KidzRUs]

Evaluate what is best for your child and you will do what is needed :grouphug: