Please read my intro before you vote on my and hubby's debate.....

[PygmyShrew]

Now that we've begun homeschooling, we are having trouble with my parents (who live 45 minutes away) calling and inviting us to meet them in town for lunch/dropping in willy nilly. With school, church, extracurricular activities I've decided we NEED a schedule. I grew up in a family that was very attached to one another and we had NO semblance of schedule and had an open-door policy where anyone could drop in on us whenever, and thus my parents (ages 58 and 60) still do this. It hasn't been a problem until now that we've begun hs'ing. Even I, a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants as far as schedules go, am finding it disruptive. So, we've agreed on the need to implement (to the best we can) a schedule, and I feel, once we do, my parents will understand and will readily comply with it. But, the debate is about how much time is a reasonable amount of time for myself and the kids (not husband) to spend with them each week. This debate is about time with them during weekdays when hubby's at work (weekends are generally not good for my parents anyway). Some background: I came from a Beaver Cleaver family; my husband came from a dysfunctional-constant-fighting family. My husband is not attached to his parents and has trouble identifying with my desire to see my parents weekly, but I think if the amount of time/week is reasonable, he'll be fine with it so long as school is the priority.

 

[An aside: For the record, we live in the same town as his folks; and, even though I understand why his parents in some ways earned their children's disrespect/detachment, I still feel my spouse should spend more time with his than he does; I avail my in-laws of my kids FAR more than he attempts to do (they don't always take me up on my offers to come see them, but I avail them of opportunities to see them every week). Just put this out there so no one would get the idea that I think "my-good-family-deserves-time-with-us; his-bad-family-does-not. They still should be honored.]

 

Back to the issue at hand,

I'm asking you to vote on how much time is reasonable for MYSELF and my KIDS to spend with my parents on a weekly basis and the vote refers to time spent at our or their HOME (this is not time together at a restaurant:)) .

I'll post my idea later, but don't want it to influence the vote/discussion just yet.

 

ONE MORE CAVEAT: I realize many of you live a long distance from your folks --- states away even countries away, so please try to advise me as a person who lives 45 minutes away from her family. Thanks.

 

THANKS SOOOOOOOOO MUCH, HIVE!

Edited October 28, 2010 by PygmyShrew

[Jean in Newcastle]

What are your visits like? My ILs dropped by yesterday. They sat in the living room and talked to me and my children for 30 min. and then left. We suspended school while they were there and then picked it up again. I couldn't imagine doing this for more than once a week.

 

If your family is a Beaver Cleaver kind, do they do things with your kids? Bake with them? Do crafts with them? Take them to the zoo? I would ask them to come on field trips with you. (I tried this with my ILs. They said "sure" and then just dropped us off at the entrance to the museum and told me to call them when we were done.:confused:) I would tell them to come in the afternoons when we are doing more crafts/hands on activities and to join in with whatever we are doing. If they are more like my ILs visits in the first paragraph then I stand with my once a week vote.

[OLG]

Cannot relate to either set of parents since we always lived thousands of miles away but if my folks were close by, I'd still limit time to a few drop ins and another period of sizable time. Homeschooling is a huge time involvement and takes priority in my book. Too bad that your folks are not available on weekends - that seems like the logical time. Maybe you guys could arrange a little adjustment on their side about weekends too?

 

Good luck!

 

Oh, I voted the 3-4 hours.

 

Mary

[i.love.lucy]

Where's the "other"?:D

 

I'd say if the relationship is good, then visiting is wonderful. But school has to take priority. Just like dh's job takes priority. So if school is done and you are baking or doing crafts, like Jean suggested, then by all means join in! Or field trips. But not to just hang out in-lieu of school.

 

FWIW, my mom would kill for an hour a week with my kids. She's 1500 miles away.

[JudoMom]

I voted 1 or 2 hours, simply because I know I couldn't regularly give up more time than this and still keep my head happily above water. And since you said this doesn't count time in a restaurant, I assume you'll see them at least once a week regardless of the in-home time vote :001_smile:.

[Joker]

When I was growing up I would see both sets of grandparents almost daily. They would just pop in. I don't live near my mom or FIL/MIL but I imagine we would see them during the day without hubby several times a week. It would just seem normal for me. I voted 5-6 hours.

 

Before we moved to FL my grandpa would come by almost everyday and have lunch with me and dds. Since I was closest and home all day he continued his "popping in" with me.

[lionfamily1999]

Lol, I just voted for the high end of "normal" and it looks like I'm alone there :p

 

I see my parents at least five times a week. I rarely get away in under an hour. And we go by on Saturday if dh needs to fix anything for them... and we go over on Sundays to visit...

 

So, maybe we're strange.

[Parrothead]

I picked the other option (live in their yard and reattach...) You said they live 45 minutes away. That is a lot of travel time once a week. You are looking at an hour and a half on the road. I would think once a month would be more reasonable.

[justamouse]

how old are your kids? Can you plan a Friday afternoon field trip every week that your parents can join in with? Other than that, can they get done with schooling by noon and then you have afternoons free?

[Laura Corin]

I would start with working out how many hours a week you need for home educating your children. After that, it's up to you how much time you spend with the grandparents.

 

Laura

[PentecostalMom]

I am the one with the family like your dh, and my dh is like yours. We have been near family, and far away. FWIW, I would love to live near my family! I would certainly make sure that school got done, but I would either have one day a week designated as family day (4-day school week) or, as others suggested, have them come in the afternoons. My MIL would absolutely love going on field trips with us!!

 

My sister spent every single Sunday between church serviced with her MIL for years, and my mom said it was crazy, made all kinds of arguments against it....then bam, she dropped dead at 58. You never know what is going to happen. My sister regrets none of it, now her kiddos are without a very loving granny!

 

After living overseas for several years, I am thankful we are only five hours away now, even from my nutso family. I love them (we like our own nuts, right?) and would love to see my mom weekly, dysfunctional though she (and they all) are. I love them and know one day I will miss them.

[lovinmyboys]

When I lived near my parents I saw them almost every day. And I took the kids to the ILs once a week. DH did work a lot of hours then (like 8a-8p every day). My parents were great-they would take one kid while I worked with another, or watch two while I took one to an activity. They did fun projects and took them places. Since DH worked so much, it was great being able to do things that I would not be able to do on my own (like my dad would take my oldest to the art museum..since we moved we have not been to one). Also, if they stopped by, I would almost always have something for them to do. My dad read aloud a lot and my mom helped my oldest with math. Or I would tell the kids they had a little recess and I would fold clothes and chat with my mom, while she made sure the baby didn't eat paper. My children definately got a better education back then and I do miss it.

[JoyfulMama]

I voted 5-6 hours. But I would have preferred to answer: 1 day a week, but not necessarily the whole day. :D

 

My parents were near to us 2 summers ago. They came up once a week, and it was GLORIOUS. I never grew up with family nearby, and it was a new experience for all of us. (We lived 10 mins away from dh's folks for 10+ years, but didn't see them regularly.) So I'm not used to the popping-in thing.

 

They respected our school time, and that helped. Yet they also enjoyed helping and participating when asked. Once a week they would come for the whole day (if we were going away, or doing a project), or after lunch and through dinner, if we needed some time alone in the morning. They would help with laundry, cooking, cleanup, whatever, or enjoy some time with the kids while I had some time without children orbiting around me.

 

The other thing that they did which was SO helpful was being able to purchase little things for me when they were on their errands. Saved me gas and time, and didn't add to theirs.

 

Now, talking on the phone, well, she understands if I don't answer, and I've gotten a bit better at NOT answering. :D

[Daisy]

I'm thinking not more than once a week whether that is 1 hour or 4. I can see spending Friday afternoons with Grandpa and Grandma but every day would be too hectic for me.

 

And yes, I'm one of those who sounds more like your husband. I'm not very attached to my family. They live 3,000 miles away and I see them maybe once every 2 or 3 years (for 2 weeks).

 

His parents come to stay for 4-5 days every 6 months and that DRIVES me crazy.

[Mejane]

I voted 3-4 hours. I really wanted to put 1-2, but I thought that sounded anti-social so I compromised. ;) That's what I'd be comfortable with on a weekly basis. Holidays could be extra.

[elegantlion]

IDK, I voted on the high end. We're getting ready to move back close to my parents, we'll be 30 minutes away. My parents adore my son and my son has begged to move back to be close to them. While I get along with my parents I had almost no relationship with grandparents. I want ds to really know his grandparents and I'm looking forward to them visiting often.

 

Now that my dad is retired we'll be able to see them during the week more often. We used to see them 2x/month when we lived close before. However, it was on the weekends and we usually spent most of the day together. They used to say they needed their ____(my son's name) time.

 

I plan on stealing my mom away from my dad to go on field trips with us, having ds spend time alone with them.

 

IDK, as long as they respect your time boundaries and they are open to adjustments, like those days when you just need to chill, I don't think 8 hours is too much. My parents are someone I consider friends as well as relatives. I think that makes a difference.

[cathmom]

Depends what you are doing, but I would say one or two afternoons a week, for maybe around 5 hours total. I don't know how old the dc are, though, or how much time you need to do school.

[Miss Marple]

How old are your kids and how much "restaurant" time are you getting? Both of those would be factors in deciding how much time to spend. When my boys were young (grade school) we had a lot more free time, but that time has been totally eroded with high school and all its accompanying schedule eaters.

 

My sister lived just 10 acres away from me for years. Early on we saw each other almost daily. The past year we spent more time on the phone and rarely saw one another except at church. She has since moved to Hawaii...we still talk on the phone.

 

So I really don't know what to vote for in the poll...more information needed :D

[Pamela H in Texas]

Goodness, I can't even guess what it would be. A lot depends on what all you are doing. If you meet up twice a week, once for just a meal and quick discussion and then one full afternoon, I would guess that'd be 3-6 hours?

 

We lived near my mom for a time. We probably did 3-8 hours per week depending (but two of those hours were her doing occupational therapy with my children...not sure if the visiting or the OT was the excuse...lol).

[TheReader]

I voted 3 to 4 hours, but I would also make that on one day/week (because of the travel time). If you allow 2 hours, 2x week, assuming one of those times is you going to their place, that's an extra 1.5 hours tacked on. That's 3.5 hours gone from your day that day, which I think is a lot. But, one afternoon a week, devoted to grandma/grandpa - sounds good. Or if they are coming by 3x/week to have lunch at your place and a bit of play time, that would work too.

 

If you are traveling to them, I'd limit it for sure.

[MamaSheep]

I would LOVE to live close enough to family to have that problem, you lucky thing. (Of course, I come from Beaver land too. I am sometimes glad we don't live close to dh's side of the drama.)

 

I am having a hard time envisioning a time limit. I tend to be a go with the flow kinda gal too, though we do have a schedule around here (or at least a "routine") because otherwise stuff doesn't get done. What we do with friends is say that we're available to play after 3:00 on weekday afternoons until supper time (which is whenever it's ready, anytime between around 5 to in the neighborhood of 7 depending on how I'm feeling, what I'm cooking, when dh is expected home, the phase of the moon, or whatever). I think if it were me, I'd institute a similar policy with extended family. We can get together anytime after 3 and have to be home in time for dinner (unless a restaurant or invitation to eat at their place is involved in the plans). I would probably also issue invitations for them to come along on field trips and help with special projects, but plan ahead and give them a specific time too come over or meet up. Of course, if you're better at getting going in the morning than I am, you might be done with school by noon and have more time available to spend with family and friends.

 

Actually, what would be really nice is if my parents lived close enough to come and TAKE my kids for a couple of hours once a week so I could get the dang house cleaned properly...sigh...

[Aggie]

It depends on how old your dc are and how many you have, really. Having 5-6 dc with some in 7th and above requires much more time than having 2-3 dc in lower grade, imo.

 

IME, you can always make up school work. There are summers to work, weekends, and no one says a child has to graduate at 18.

 

You'll never get back lost time with your parents. The time your dc spend with your parents will teach them much more than a text. IMO YMMV etc:001_smile:

[elegantlion]

You'll never get back lost time with your parents. The time your dc spend with your parents will teach them much more than a text. IMO YMMV etc:001_smile:

 

That is so true. My dh's father has been gone 40 years today. I know he'd give anything for his dad to see our son, time limits wouldn't be involved.

[Amy loves Bud]

I didn't vote because my answer isn't there:

 

 

As much as you want....

 

...if your children are being educated, the house and clothes are reasonably clean, and your household is being fed decent meals

 

AND

 

...if your kids aren't being forced to spend inordinate amounts of time with them when they woudl rather pursue their own interests. (If this is the case I would still require a minimal amount of time with the grandparents, but they would need to be able to have the free time that children need to explore and learn in an unschedule, undirected way.)

 

AND

 

...if your husband's objections aren't based on a negative influence he sees your parents having on the kids.

 

However, if the time with your parents is interfering with you taking care of business or if it is having a negative impact on the kids, I would limit it.

[Paige]

I had a hard time voting because I can't imagine that situation myself. I would imagine that 45min away is not going to be something you pop in and pop out briefly regularly during the week. So, my vote would be for 1, 3-4 hr, visit a week, probably a weekend visit, but if it was every week, it would really get old, IMO, to have my weekends always about visiting grandparents. I would not be able to do any visits during the school day because it would be way too disruptive. I could see maybe once a month, scheduled so I can plan around it, but more than that would be too much unless I was on a 4 day schedule (I am), and I had nothing else planned for those days (never), or if they only came late afternoon after school was done and we had no other activities that night.

[MissKNG]

My parents live about 1/4 mile down the road and we are there often! Girls are actually there right now! I grew up "Beaver Cleaver" too. My parents are also "older" imo so I want to spend as much time with them as possible.

[Heidi]

I just really can't relate. If I have spare time to see people during the week I would rather see friends that I have things in common with, who have kids that my kids can play with. For in-laws, umm.... I would say 0.02 hours a week (however much that is). I like our 3-4 times a year thing. It works for us.

[specialmama]

I would LOVE to live close enough to family to have that problem, you lucky thing. (Of course, I come from Beaver land too. I am sometimes glad we don't live close to dh's side of the drama.)

 

I am having a hard time envisioning a time limit. I tend to be a go with the flow kinda gal too, though we do have a schedule around here (or at least a "routine") because otherwise stuff doesn't get done. What we do with friends is say that we're available to play after 3:00 on weekday afternoons until supper time (which is whenever it's ready, anytime between around 5 to in the neighborhood of 7 depending on how I'm feeling, what I'm cooking, when dh is expected home, the phase of the moon, or whatever). I think if it were me, I'd institute a similar policy with extended family. We can get together anytime after 3 and have to be home in time for dinner (unless a restaurant or invitation to eat at their place is involved in the plans). I would probably also issue invitations for them to come along on field trips and help with special projects, but plan ahead and give them a specific time too come over or meet up. Of course, if you're better at getting going in the morning than I am, you might be done with school by noon and have more time available to spend with family and friends.

 

Actually, what would be really nice is if my parents lived close enough to come and TAKE my kids for a couple of hours once a week so I could get the dang house cleaned properly...sigh...

 

I could have written Amy's post! :D

[Snickerdoodle]

I picked the other option (live in their yard and reattach...) You said they live 45 minutes away. That is a lot of travel time once a week. You are looking at an hour and a half on the road. I would think once a month would be more reasonable.

 

:iagree:

[Danestress]

My Mother and MIL live in town. Some weeks I seem them a lot. Some weeks none. I think the "right" amount is what feels right to you, and I actually think that schedule that obligates you is a mistake.

 

I also think that a lot of "overlap" time would be nice. If my father came to watch my boys take a tennis or swim lesson, did that count as "time spent" since I would be there watching anyway? It didn't take time out of our schedule, he just got added in. If I invite my MIL to have lunch with us, she's just eating what I would have cooked anyway. Maybe half an hour of the time is time out of what my schedule would otherwise be. The other half hour of an hour visit I would have been doing anyway. If they go on a field trip with us, that could be six hours of time together, but it's still SCHOOL time. You know?

 

So if you are asking how many hours you should expect to sit and just chat with them and not have it work in with something else in your life, I think very few. Really, I don't have more than an hour or two a week for that. But if they are chatting there while my son plays tennis, great. I would be there anyway.

[Evergreen State Sue]

I voted 3-4 hours, but like many have commented, it all depends on the ages of your kids and how much school you want to get done.

 

45 minutes one way is a long time to travel. If your parents are doing the traveling, then that saves you 1-1/2 hours right there.

 

I would try to do school for 4 days and then have one day as a visiting day/library day. Otherwise it would be too disruptive.

 

Another idea if you want them to come more often is to schedule it for late afternoon when school time is winding down anyway. The key is to let them know when you are open for visiting.

 

My parents passed before we had children, so my dh's parents were the only grandparents. Both died within 6 months of each other when my kids were 8 and 10. We spent many weekends with them, but not that many weekdays. Grandma was homeschooling her grandson so she was busy too!

[jplain]

Why does your DH have any opinion at all? Does he consider your parents a bad influence, or is he concerned that this will keep you from getting homeschooling done?

 

If we had grandparents 45 minutes away who weren't busy during work/school hours, we'd probably see them once or twice a week. However, my condition is that the grandparents must be willing to come to us at least half the time, and ideally more than half of the time.

[Hedgehog]

3-4hrs. If your family is a very close one, then it's probably not unreasonable for them to spend a morning/afternoon with you once a week. If both parties are willing, I'd suggest they take your dc out for a couple hours and go someplace fun, or be at their house doing some kind of activity.

 

Personally I think it's important for kids to have a decent relationship with their grandparents wherever possible (though I'm not meaning when the whole thing becomes toxic and destructive, of course).

 

As for them dropping in on you.. to me, that's like whether you answer the phone or not. NO-ONE interrupts us during school time (unless it's an interesting delivery van :D ) - I don't answer the phone or the door. We have an answerphone, email and cell phones for texts, and my family and friends now know to use them. Sorry if that sounds mean, but that's how it works for us. If you feel uncomfortable with that, you could give them time frames for dropping in on you when you're freer - that will depend very much on your schedule.

[Sasharowan]

My parents are about 10 min. away. We usually spend an afternoon (3-4hours) during the week with my mom and 1-2 days on weekends during the month with both parents. Sometimes we pack school up and go over to her place for a change of scenery. She often goes on field trips with us and we just got back from 3 days camping with my mom and a friend (7kids total with 3 adults).

[Pretty in Pink]

Well, factoring in a 90 minute round trip drive I can't see how either of you would just be dropping in on the other on a regular basis. That is a lot of driving. I would aim for spending an afternoon each week with them or at least two or three times per month. If you can do more, great! You are lucky to be close to your parents and live within driving distance.

 

I missed the ages of your children in your OP though I have the impression that they are young. I think you will find that you have less free time as they get older, but you've probably already thought of that and it doesn't really pertain to your current situation anyway. Just something to think about.

[Denisemomof4]

I don't think you can put a time limit on this. I think it more depends on your schedule, what activities are going, how long you need to school, etc. You need to see how often you will have time to see them and schedule them in.

 

When my parents lived 45 minutes away and they were declining, I drove to see them every week. While we visited, I had school work for the kids to do. If this won't work, maybe you could do the basics one day and just skip the science/history/read aloud or what ever. Have them do English, math, spelling, and then visit with your parents. I think you're SO fortunate to have parents who really want to see you, whom you want to see, whom everyone enjoys. Take advantage of that as much and as realistically as you can!!!

[Elizabeth in WA]

I voted 5-6 hours. But I would have preferred to answer: 1 day a week, but not necessarily the whole day. :D

 

 

:iagree: Although I would go for the whole day if it were my dad dropping by. Before his mom got to the point of needing his constant care, and when we lived on the same coast as he did, my dad used to do this. He would read aloud, play math games, or just entertainment my then-toddlers. It was fantastic and really helped me keep my head above water. We would go out for a leisurely lunch while he was there, but it was so much easier to teach with help in the house that we still got more done on the day;s grandpa was there. It might be different now with two of mine doing full school days, but I could still see it working and all the kids would love it. Sadly, grandpa is now nearly 2500 miles away and needs to stay close to his mom - their great grandma - to take care of her.

 

When my mom visits, she stays for a week or more, and does her own work while we school, or sometimes assists with things. We do do more field trips while grandma is visiting to keep it more fun. But, because gymnastics goes to a day schedule in the summer and is 25+ hours per week then as well, we can't school year round and take off whenever she visits. We haven't seen my in-laws in years, which is sad, and a whole other story.

[Sun]

I voted 5-6 hours, but the answer I really wanted was "whatever you feel comfortable with." If you are able to do school to the standard that you and your husband want, then you should be able to spend as much time with your parents as you want when your husband's not around and you're not involved with activities for the kids.

 

I don't really understand why your husband has an issue with it!

[Liza Q]

I voted for 3-4 hours. I would love it if my parents would come once a week, say 4-8 pm. It would be after school and they could have dinner with us - it would be a nice time! But if I had to go to them, I would have to make it every other week as I couldn't swing being gone one evening a week (4 hours plus 1.5 hour commute) on top of our other stuff....

[ereks mom]

...maybe 1:00 or 2:00 until 5:00?? You might have to make a short day of it, if you usually don't finish school until later in the afternoon. But I think it would be worth it for you, the kids AND the grandparents.

[Laurie4b]

I voted 1-2 hours (not counting travel time if you're going there) because that seems to be a nice amount of time for a "visit."

 

We don't have family around this area. My mother would not want us at her house even that much. My dad would probably like that much. Dh's parents would be borderline okay with it.

[nd293]

I out 7-8 hours, but honestly, if you love being with your family, and they are involved in your kids lives, why limit time at all? You've said nothing to imply this is a "needy" sort of relationship where you revert to child and they try to control how you are living your life. It sounds pretty fantastic to me. Some things I'd think about, though :

 

~ We try to avoid doing anything non-homeschooling in the mornings. We get much more done if we work between 8 and 12:30 than at any other time of the day We do work at other times too, but the aim is to do the bulk of work in this time.

 

~ You could give them a copy of your schedule block mornings out for homeschooling, and block out whichever afternoons the kids are busy with activities.

 

~ I'd take the 45 minute drive into acount in two ways. Firstly, I wouldn't drive 45 minutes to spend less than 2 or 3 hours with someone. Also, that time can be school-time if you do something like listen to history CDs, good audio books etc

 

~ Do your parents want to be involved in homeschooling? If so, would they be interested in covering one subject with your children, even in a supplemental way? My mother (who is in a different country to me) reads to dd10 at least weekly, via Skype, and this year I am having her read histoical fiction where possible. This makes me feel less cranky when the 6hr time difference occasionally means that she wants to read at a time when the day's schoolwork is still unfinished. Perhaps if your parents arrive when one of the kids is heading to an activity they would take the child? Or remain with the other children?

 

How lovely for you that you have such a happy family situation and live reasonably close to your parents!

 

Nikki (looking forward to having my Mom with us for 2 months next year!)

[misscometa]

My parents are miles away:sad: and so are my in laws :thumbdown: but if I had them in the same city, 1 or 2 hours during the week would be enough, considering homeschool. On the weekends, I honestly wouldn't mind if they spend more time, especially my in laws...I adore my MIL, and she or they (including my parents) would understand the time limit. Now, if I was done with school for the day...I wouldn't mind if they even stay for dinner:001_smile:

[RoughCollie]

I voted 8-12 hours, thinking 3 full afternoons a week.

[lionfamily1999]

I out 7-8 hours, but honestly, if you love being with your family, and they are involved in your kids lives, why limit time at all? You've said nothing to imply this is a "needy" sort of relationship where you revert to child and they try to control how you are living your life. It sounds pretty fantastic to me.

:iagree:

[alegnab]

Both sets of grandparents live nearby. My mom used to spend one weekday per week with us before she passed away six years ago (my dad worked, so he couldn't come during weekdays). Dh's parents used to spend one day per week with us until three years ago when FIL had a major medical incident and could no longer get out of the home much. I sure do miss the old days!

 

My in-laws and my mom were all helpful. They were especially helpful with keeping the younger kids entertained while I was working with the older kids. They read lots of books to the kids. They played games and assembled puzzles with them. They painted and colored with them. FIL was especially helpful with the older boys. He taught them how to do things. He had lots of conversations with them. He took ds#1 to his music lessons, which was a great blessing to me, since that freed up nearly two hours per week for me. They fixed lunch and washed dishes. They would have done even more work around the house if I had asked them to. They often bought supper (usually pizza or Chinese food).

 

I think weekly visits could be a blessing to you if you explain to your parents that school has to be a priority and ask for their help in educating your kids. And perhaps you can make the schedule a little lighter on visit day. Having a schedule doesn't mean that everything has to be done each day and at the same time each day.

[dhudson]

We have grandparents close ( like 15 min) and we seem to spend 5 - 6 hours a week together. That may be at a restaurant, the mall, the park, running kids to activities or at each other's homes.

 

It's a blessing to us but no one interrupts or calls during school hours either.

[sonsmama]

I am having a hard time putting a number to a visit. My mom lives 1 mile away and we just drop in for a minute here and there. She tries to make most of the games (football, basketball, baseball), piano recitals, Movie nights with just my son. We go shopping together at times and she goes with us on any field trip if she is in town. We have a small family and it is worth any time together.

[kamom]

I votes 3-4 hrs because that seemed doable for my family. I thought that included two afternoons, each about 2 hrs. But I guess it could be longer if they came to your house and stayed for supper that evening.

 

I can't imagine having more then two free afternoons to visit family. Unless, as someone mentioned they come over and help/ join you in whatever you have planned. Maybe even babysit while you get the errands done, get groceries etc. That would give you more time with them. I didn't think of that when I voted.

[texasmama]

I didn't vote because I truly don't know how to answer this. I also have not read any of the other responses. I think that you should spend as much time as works for your schedule with the kids' homeschooling and other activities. If you are doing it while your hubby is at work, it isn't affecting him. A good relationship with one's parents and a set of close-by, good grandparents to your kids is an absolute TREASURE.

 

It sounds like you enjoy the time spent with them but you need more limits set on them being spontaneous or just dropping in. I would probably set up a schedule with your parents with set times/days to spend with them. If they have the freer schedule, have them drive to your house most of the time. Do schoolwork first and then spend a lovely afternoon with grandparents.:001_smile: If this works for all of you 1-3 times a week for several hours, then I would go for it!:D