Moms of "normal" kids (4-7): would you join a playgroup with kids w.disabilities?

[Laurie4b]

A young adult at our church is trying to start a playgroup for kids ages 4-7 in which kids who are "typically developing" are paired with kids who are not typically developing (ie may have high functioning autism, etc.) in a "playtime" atmosphere, with each pair supervised by a trained volunteer. The purpose of the playgroup is to help the kids connect with one another relationally. It's obvious to the parents of the atypically-developing kids why this would benefit their child and a good number of those kids have signed up. We haven't had any typically developing kids sign up though.

 

If your child is "typically developing", would you see any benefits to your child being involved in this group (ie would you see the opportunity to expand your child's social/relational horizons to kids that are "different" as a benefit to your child?)

 

What would your concerns be about having your child join a group like that?

 

Your feedback could be really useful in helping us communicate with parents of typically-developing kids about benefits of participation and alleviate any concerns in our communication. Thanks so much for your help!

 

ETA: Thank you all so much for your feedback. It's been very valuable so far. And if you would hesitate to put your kiddo in a playgroup, please feel free to say so, even though most people are saying they would not. We are learning a lot from those who would have reservations as well as being encouraged by the people who would jump on it. It's also made me think that we could advertise this to local homeschooling groups since hsers are likely to be making deliberate choices about their children's experiences.

Edited June 10, 2010 by Laurie4b1

[Crissy]

I wouldn't have any concerns about my children participating, in fact I think he would really benefit from playing with kids who are developing differently.

 

My first thought about your issue is to wonder whether it is clear to parents that 'typically developing' children are welcome and encouraged to participate. Could it be that it appears as an exclusive group for disabled children? Are you advertising your group outside circles where parents of disabled kids tend to gather for support?

 

I hope you can work out the issue. It sounds like a wonderful idea for all the kids.

[Ottakee]

A young adult at our church is trying to start a playgroup for kids ages 4-7 in which kids who are "typically developing" are paired with kids who are not typically developing (ie may have high functioning autism, etc.) in a "playtime" atmosphere, with each pair supervised by a trained volunteer. The purpose of the playgroup is to help the kids connect with one another relationally. It's obvious to the parents of the atypically-developing kids why this would benefit their child and a good number of those kids have signed up. We haven't had any typically developing kids sign up though.

 

If your child is "typically developing", would you see any benefits to your child being involved in this group (ie would you see the opportunity to expand your child's social/relational horizons to kids that are "different" as a benefit to your child?)

 

What would your concerns be about having your child join a group like that?

 

Your feedback could be really useful in helping us communicate with parents of typically-developing kids about benefits of participation and alleviate any concerns in our communication. Thanks so much for your help!

 

This sounds like a WONDERFUL program. As a parent of 3 special needs kids, I see this as an area where homeschoolers are behind public schoolers. In elementary homeschool stuff my girls did OK as the K-6 grade groupings allowed them to participate even though they were behind. Once they hit the middleschool/jr. high/teen groups, there just wasn't the social stuff for my girls.

 

The other homeschoolers were polite but really no interaction with my kids once we hit the teen groups. I ended up putting my 14dd into public school this year partially for this reason. She LOVED school and had a lot of friends there. They match the special needs kids up with reg. ed. kids for various activities, social skills groups, some lunches, etc.

 

I think that the group you are talking about would be great for the "normal" kids as well to get them involved with others that have special needs. Kids that interact with special needs kids early on seem to be very accepting of them and others with special needs.

 

This is a great way for kids and parents to do some community service. They might just find themselves blessed even more than the families with special needs kids.

 

Since this is a soap box for me, I will also mention that the church is one of the places where families with special needs kids are the LEAST welcome. I know of so many families that don't/can't attend church as there is nothing for their children and/or the kids are not accepted.

 

This is an area that homeschoolers and the church really need to take a look at........esp. as the public schools are WAY ahead of most in this area.

[LauraGB]

Absolutely! I think something like this equals growth and good things for all involved.

Edited June 9, 2010 by LauraGB

[Susan in KY]

My dad was a prof of special education, and growing up I had extensive contact with kids and adults who had disabilities of one sort or another. I think it was very helpful to me both as a child and as an adult to be able to interact with someone with disabilities. I believe it brings us out of our tidy boxes, makes us grateful for what we have, and makes us a lot more kind and compassionate. If there's anything lacking in the world, it's compassion and kindness....

 

That being said, I don't know what would draw typical kids to *want* to do it, though. I did it because it was all around me, but there were times when it was uncomfy for me. Maybe a few thought provoking questions would help, such as, "What do you do when you encounter a person in a wheelchair?" and multiple choice answers (1. Pretend you don't see the person and just move around the obstacle, 2. Smile and say hello, 3. Talk only to the person pushing the chair, 4. What wheelchair?) might spur some parents on to participate in your program.

[LNC]

Have you seen the Joni and Friends VBS materials for groups like this. I would love to start one at our church if our special needs permitted the time someday!

 

http://www.joniandfriends.org/store/product/camp-lean-lord/

[KristenS]

Well, if it was just a playgroup, I'd probably sign my kids up. But they're fairly quirky and I'd be doing it so they could feel at home. :) If they were paired with a hovering adult, though, it might make me nervous ... especially since we're homeschoolers and I often feel we're being scrutinized anyway.

 

I guess I'd need a 'sample' session and more information. Do the kids know they're meant to be helping? Do all the kids just think it's fun, and it's the parents who are aware of the educational value? Since they work in pairs, are the pairs constant? Would attendance be more compulsory (if you're sick, your partner has non one to play with?) ... Stuff like that.

[LNC]

This sounds like a WONDERFUL program. As a parent of 3 special needs kids, I see this as an area where homeschoolers are behind public schoolers. In elementary homeschool stuff my girls did OK as the K-6 grade groupings allowed them to participate even though they were behind. Once they hit the middleschool/jr. high/teen groups, there just wasn't the social stuff for my girls.

 

The other homeschoolers were polite but really no interaction with my kids once we hit the teen groups. I ended up putting my 14dd into public school this year partially for this reason. She LOVED school and had a lot of friends there. They match the special needs kids up with reg. ed. kids for various activities, social skills groups, some lunches, etc.

 

I think that the group you are talking about would be great for the "normal" kids as well to get them involved with others that have special needs. Kids that interact with special needs kids early on seem to be very accepting of them and others with special needs.

 

This is a great way for kids and parents to do some community service. They might just find themselves blessed even more than the families with special needs kids.

 

Since this is a soap box for me, I will also mention that the church is one of the places where families with special needs kids are the LEAST welcome. I know of so many families that don't/can't attend church as there is nothing for their children and/or the kids are not accepted.

 

This is an area that homeschoolers and the church really need to take a look at........esp. as the public schools are WAY ahead of most in this area.

 

Amen!

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I would LOVE to have my children in something like that!!!!!! That would be an amazing opportunity!

[Tap]

Dd11 had a friend who was 2yrs older than herself, several years ago. The friend had Aspergers and was a bit, shall we say, quirky, in a delightful way. She had the typical social struggles and when the mom saw that my dd and hers were becoming friends in a class, and she heard we needed a babysitter for dd, she offered to do it for free, just to have the time for them to be together. I insisted on paying her, but she insisted on a much, much lower rate than was typical.

 

The arrangement was mutually beneficial and our daughters became good friends. Once, I was reading a book about Aspergers to dd that the other mom had bought. DD looked at me and said "B, doesn't have anything wrong with her! What is the book talking about?" DD really didn't see the quirks as anything other than a personality trait, just like we all have.

 

It has been a blessing in disguise for us, as dd3 now has a lot of the same issues as this friend did years ago. DD treats dd3 with the same compassion as she did her friend. I think dd11 has had the opportunity to get past the initial barricades that kids who have disabilities or quirks have, and she sees the person as a whole, not just a shell.

 

 

I didn't see any negative traits passed on to my dd only positive. I wouldn't hesitate to have any of my kids in this situation.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I used to work at a preschool that was run on those lines. We did have many "typically developing" children in the school.

[scubamama]

That young adult who wants to start this group sounds great!

 

Go and make a big deal out of them and encourage them...go find their parents and congratualte them for raising a thoughful person.

 

My mom was confined to a wheel chair - I never saw her walk. I still am shocked at the things people would say and do. Once, when I was about 6, a waitress asked ME what "she'd want to eat". My poor mom. I was mad and embarrassed all at once - strong emotions for a little girl. I grew up to be a RN and my sister is a special ed teacher.

I'd bring my "normally developing"kids to that playgroup in a heartbeat!!

 

Michele

[myfunnybunch]

Beyond the benefit of developing compassion and learning to be a helper and a leader, the activities themselves will be enriching and developmentally stimulating for typically developing children too. Things like craft projects, playing games, building projects and all of the other planned activities are good for children at all developmental levels and abilities.

 

Maybe re-frame the intent of the group to a playgroup for all children that will include children with disabilities. Focus on the fact that it's a free (or low-cost) social activity with a high adult-child ratio, that includes being a peer partner to a child with a disability. That may be more enticing to parents than the idea of a program for children with disabilities that includes typically developing children. (Even though it's exactly the same program.) :)

 

Cat

Edited June 9, 2010 by myfunnybunch

[Murmer]

I would so be there...one of dd friends uses a walker and I love that she will grow up with it being normal to see a child in braces with a walker. I would love for her to spend more time with children in a diverse group setting so other abilities will be normalized to her. I guess my only concern would be how discipline would work both for my child and those that may be differently abled.

[lighthouseacademy]

I think it would benefit typically developing children because it helps them have empathy for others. Case in point, my son was sitting next to a VERY sweet girl with extreme autism and very little mylin sheath around her brain. As a result, she obviously doesn't communicate the same as my son. She has an obsession with shoes and at church was playing with my son's shoe. This bothered him so he told her to stop. When she didn't, he hit her. <GRRRRRR> He had no idea what was going on though. When I talked to him, he said, she should know better than to mess with my shoes and when I told her to stop she should listen. I was teaching her a lesson. (If I could find the emoticon with the eyes popping out of the head I would insert here). I was SHOCKED that he felt that way. Normally, this child has compassion on those in need. This girl is bigger in size than he is though and didn't know she was autistic so the dots weren't connected. We had a conversation with the mother and she explained that her daughter had the mind of an infant. A group setting like you described would help children to see that atypical developing children are people with feelings and help them to know how to interact.

[WeeBeaks]

We would absolutely join if it fit in our schedule. I have a "typically developing" 4yo. His older brother has a mental diagnosis so he is used to some odd behavior already. Kids are kids though to them and I wouldn't find it odd to have a mixed group with disabled children.

[Dawn in OH]

I would definitely take my kids to that kind of playgroup. It would be a great experience for them on many levels, most of which have already been mentioned.

[LibraryLover]

I have been been part of such a playgroup. Our hsing group is a mix of children and it's nice.

[NanceXToo]

Absolutely. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity for kids (the "normal" ones) to learn to just accept and be around people who are different from them without it having to be a big deal. It will teach them acceptance and tolerance, I would think! That's great that there's a young adult who came up with this and is taking steps to put it together. It's a shame that none of the "normal" kids parents have signed up yet.

[Evergreen Academy]

I think it would be a lovely group to belong to...but I am biased. We have three biological children and were blessed to adopt three kids with special needs (mild hearing impairment, bilateral amputee, developmental delays, respectively). I cannot tell you the impact this has had on the ds closest in age to these guys. The compassion, grace and kindness I see in him, and in them toward one another, is moving, and is often noticed and pointed out by others. I think children - those with disabilities and those without - can benefit greatly by being together, and I would love to hear of more groups like this being started.

Blessings,

Aimee

monm to 6 great kids, ages 7-19, schooling grades 1, 3, 3 and 6

[angela in ohio]

Sure, we do often. My dh has worked in special education since my dc were born, so they have spent much of their lives being 'typical peers.' They always find special needs students at park days and such, too. My son actually went to a playgroup for those same ages. It focused on music therapy. My girls volunteer at a camp for his students, and they have learned so much. I applaud the young adult who is starting the program!

 

I have unfortunately found that many people are not interested in developing concern for those with special needs in their children, though, and they don't consider it a priority. I think you would need to re-phrase it, as pp said, to get enough participants. I have tried to get groups of homeschoolers to work with dh's students, without much success. Last time, only one family volunteered.

 

Dh's school often recruits classes from other schools to come in and spend time with the students. They talk to them first and train them a bit. Students need to know (1.) that they won't "catch" anything, (2.) if the other student is medically fragile in any way, (3.) how to respond if there is an emergency (remove yourself to give the child privacy and dignity, etc.,) and so on. It is nice to have directed activity (music, a game) rather than just an open 'play together.' That is a difficult skill.

 

There is always the concern of physical danger. My dc have spent time with autistic children who can become violent and have hurt adults and other students. They know it going in, and it is a risk we are willing to take. It is better to tell the children up front, so that they know they can trust you. It is better to let the parents know if this will be a concern, so that they can make decisions.

[hsbaby]

I'm also biased, having a special needs kiddo myself, and would LOVE to put all of my kids in a group like this. Just having a big sister with special needs has helped shape my younger ones to into VERY compassionate kids. My ds7, especially (dd is only 3), tries to include other kids and doesn't notice their quirks so much...he's had so much exposure to quirkiness I think he just thinks it's normal:) DS became kids with a little boy at his co-op last year that was Autistic. The boy cried on the first day (he's 9). I told ds he was Autistic like his sister so he went out of his way to include him. I don't know if he would be so willing to do that if he had not been exposed to special needs all his life. You have such a great opportunity there...I hope more parents of "normally" developing kids take advantage!!

[Joy at Home]

Nothing has shaped my dc more than having a sibling who is profoundly disabled. They have grown up around people of all different needs, and it has been a tremendous blessing. Being around those who are "different" than us is a life lesson best learned early. Seeing and respecting our differences via interaction with those with disabilities is an experience that transcends all situations. You start looking at all people's "differences" in the same light; that is, that we all struggle with our own issues in life, insecurities, character flaws, emotional issues, fill in the blank. Disability is just something else on the continuum of human condition. This would be a great lesson for any child.

 

Maybe if you framed it as an "integrated" play group for the benefit of all kids to promote tolerance and interaction?

 

Good luck. She's doing a great thing.

Blessings,

Lisa

[elizabeth]

I attended a Montessori school organized on the same principles. I am still friends with my former learning partner. In fact her group home is about three blocks from mine. Sadly we both lost siblings the same year about one month apart. I continue to feel fortunate that my mother, in 1969, thought waaay outside the box on many, many issues including barbie dolls, television, the family viewing hour from 7-8 pm , processed food(we begged for those foods and still buy junk for our own homes occasionally...) the list is endless. Frankly it is a wonderful idea and helps to keep our dc from objectifying others by labeling and thus, limiting people by abilities, color, gender and a whole range of other qualities too often used to call a person "this" and be treated like" that." The biggest problem I foresee is the parents of non impaired children being intensely overprotective of those children who have special challenges and in their laudable goal interfering with natural bonding that happens when we let children come together on their own terms.

[Joy at Home]

I attended a Montessori school organized on the same principles. I am still friends with my former learning partner. In fact her group home is about three blocks from mine. Sadly we both lost siblings the same year about one month apart. I continue to feel fortunate that my mother, in 1969, thought waaay outside the box on many, many issues including barbie dolls, television, the family viewing hour from 7-8 pm , processed food(we begged for those foods and still buy junk for our own homes occasionally...) the list is endless. Frankly it is a wonderful idea and helps to keep our dc from objectifying others by labeling and thus, limiting people by abilities, color, gender and a whole range of other qualities too often used to call a person "this" and be treated like" that." The biggest problem I foresee is the parents of non impaired children being intensely overprotective of those children who have special challenges and in their laudable goal interfering with natural bonding that happens when we let children come together on their own terms.

 

 

Elizabeth, I miss your tiara rodent avatar;)

[nd293]

This sounds like a fantastic idea, and something I would be happy for my dd to support.

[MaMa2005]

OK, this is my time to get on my soapbox.

 

My DS came home from China at 26 months. He was completely non-verbal. Within 2 months of being home, he was talking up a storm so that 'disability' corrected itself. However, due to the fact that he wasn't able to run around outside for the first 26 months of his life has left him with some severe gross motor difficulties. This beautiful child cannot run more than 20 yards without falling flat on his face. He trips over his own feet many times a day. His knees are constantly skinned from all the falls.

 

He has many friends who are also adopted from China - almost all with some sort of special need. His best friend, a girl his age, has a cleft lip/palate. From the moment she came home, DS realized her speech was 'off' and has been her protector. Three years later, she is speaking well. However, his interaction with her has created a wonderfully compassionate child. He regularly will take up or protect a child with any form of disability.

 

As a retired SPED teacher, my heart is filled with joy at my son's reactions to these precious children. It is a trait I am sure he will carry with him all his life.

 

I would be the FIRST person in line to sign him up for a program like this.

 

And I agree, as others have said, that we as homeschoolers are far behind the PS in dealing with these issues.

 

I will now step down from my soap box and go get something cool to drink :001_smile:.

[stripe]

There was the nicest story on NBC's nightly news (Making a Difference) about something similar recently (with high school aged kids); the segment is called Circle of Friends.

[chiguirre]

In my personal experience, it can be tough to get people to sign up NT kids for interaction with disabled kids. To get the project off the ground, I'd concentrate on getting families to include NT siblings and pair up kids with different types of needs. Ds did a playgroup like this with only ASD kids and it was still a good experience. In his case, he was paired with a lower functioning and younger kid and had to step up and be the "older" kid. It helped his ability to interact with his older, much less verbal brother too. It would be great to have NT kids, but the playgroup will still be valuable even if you can't find many.

[shinyhappypeople]

A young adult at our church is trying to start a playgroup for kids ages 4-7 in which kids who are "typically developing" are paired with kids who are not typically developing (ie may have high functioning autism, etc.) in a "playtime" atmosphere, with each pair supervised by a trained volunteer. The purpose of the playgroup is to help the kids connect with one another relationally. It's obvious to the parents of the atypically-developing kids why this would benefit their child and a good number of those kids have signed up. We haven't had any typically developing kids sign up though.

 

If your child is "typically developing", would you see any benefits to your child being involved in this group (ie would you see the opportunity to expand your child's social/relational horizons to kids that are "different" as a benefit to your child?)

 

What would your concerns be about having your child join a group like that?

 

Your feedback could be really useful in helping us communicate with parents of typically-developing kids about benefits of participation and alleviate any concerns in our communication. Thanks so much for your help!

 

I'd be first in line to sign up for a new playgroup. We love-love-love making new friends :)

 

But, I don't like the idea of an adult pairing two kids up. What if they just don't get along? What if the atypical child thinks my DD is too chatty or bossy and it gets on the child's nerves? What if they just don't click? I'd hate for either child to feel stuck with a "friendship" that wasn't a positive thing for BOTH. Another potential pitfall is that my older DD loves adults and would probably talk more to the grown-up and/or be "mothering" to the other child.

 

I'd MUCH rather see a true playgroup formed where there's a nice mix of kids (disabled and not). Perhaps there could be some structured activities and games so that the kids were interacting with each other and getting to know each other. As the children discover common ground, I would expect friendships to form naturally over time.

 

JMO.

[lovemyboys]

My reaction when I read the opening line is ...

Why not?

 

Our experience has been that we've always been blessed with a real mix of friends, including some kids with Downs, aspergers and other developmental challenges. As a result, fortunately, dc are compassionate and patient playmates especially with younger kids.

 

With the ages involved and the low response, my guess would be that people are concerned with behavior issues -- some kid do have self-control issues at those young ages. But that wouldn't keep me away.

 

Perhaps you could emphasize those benefits while addressing concerns and sharing plans for alleviating perceived issues.

 

:001_smile:

 

 

A young adult at our church is trying to start a playgroup for kids ages 4-7 in which kids who are "typically developing" are paired with kids who are not typically developing (ie may have high functioning autism, etc.) in a "playtime" atmosphere, with each pair supervised by a trained volunteer. The purpose of the playgroup is to help the kids connect with one another relationally. It's obvious to the parents of the atypically-developing kids why this would benefit their child and a good number of those kids have signed up. We haven't had any typically developing kids sign up though.

 

If your child is "typically developing", would you see any benefits to your child being involved in this group (ie would you see the opportunity to expand your child's social/relational horizons to kids that are "different" as a benefit to your child?)

 

What would your concerns be about having your child join a group like that?

 

Your feedback could be really useful in helping us communicate with parents of typically-developing kids about benefits of participation and alleviate any concerns in our communication. Thanks so much for your help!

[OrganicAnn]

I like the idea. I'd say there might be some age groups where the kids would be less willing to participate. Also parents might be less willing than kids.

 

I wonder if they have thought of combining different ages too. I remember a story where kids that were 'troubled' as in not good students, cutting class, getting into trouble etc were put in a program that paired them with rather severely developmentally disabled children (with significant adult supervision). They made some very strong connections. The kids would light up when their 'buddies' came in. The troubled kids realized they there were people in the world that had things more difficult than they could imagine. Anyway, the kids had a age difference of about 5 years.

 

Anyway, if you are talking about kids with significant delays then an older child might be better able to handle issues, than the same aged child. Just a thought.

[Cera]

Honestly, probably not. It sounds a bit too formal for our taste with the direct pairing of sets of kids and the adult supervisor.

 

We have quite a few activities and I would only add another that I thought the kids would love and really benefit from. Being followed around by an adult while being forced to play with a child they may or may not like wouldn't fall into that category. I also wouldn't really want them paired up with a disabled child as the "typical" kid. I think it sends the wrong message about the disabled kids.

 

I would sign them up if it was simply an open playgroup that allowed the kids to interact with one another as they wished. (possibly with a planned project or activity for part of the time each week)

[elfinbaby]

It can only be beneficial. I have a dd with severe disabilities and as a little girl in her first grade class noted "You rock the house!" Ilah has received a number of cards from her bffs (their words, not mine) in inclusion. It never ceases to amaze me how some children are drawn to my dd (who is unable to walk, talk, or use her hands). She is a beautiful girl with an awesome smile and laugh. She wins fans everywhere she goes.

 

The group will need good facilitators but our dd does really well in inclusion settings and young children are very accepting of children who are "different" when given a good role model to follow. For instance, when children meet my dd I tell them "Her name is Ilah. She can't talk to you but she hears and understands everything you say. Watch her eyes closely. That's how she 'talks' to you." There's more to it but you get the idea. Kids usually just go from there.

 

I think (and hope) you find that pairing children up is not necessary. Just find some common activities. That's a great age for singing songs w/motions or doing some story time (or letting a child read to another child 1:1) then off to the playground. My dd can't walk but somehow she manages to play duck duck goose w/the other kids. Her aide must get sooooo tired (she helps Ilah walk the circle) b/c the kids love for Ilah to be the chaser and they actually jog really slowly to let her catch up. These are K'ers! How awesome are they?

[Ravin]

Yes.

[Rosy]

I think something like that would be wonderful. Honestly, I would say the only real drawback so far to homeschooling that I've experienced is my kids' lack of contact with disabled people. I took for granted that they would know how to treat people who are different than they are (in any way) until a little girl with Down's started going to the YMCA kids program they attend. My 6yo had a really hard time with her the little girl would follow her around and try to interact, and DD would run away from her or be mean to her--she even called her ugly! It was absolutely mortifying for me. After MANY serious talks and apologies and more talks, she gets along with her and will even seek her out to play together.

 

If a group like that existed near me, I would jump on it.

[Desert Rat]

I would have no concerns. In fact, my boys have learned patience and compassion while playing with my friend's son who cannot speak because of muscle/genetic issues. It's been a very positive experience for us.

[Laurie4b]

Well, if it was just a playgroup, I'd probably sign my kids up. But they're fairly quirky and I'd be doing it so they could feel at home. :) If they were paired with a hovering adult, though, it might make me nervous ... especially since we're homeschoolers and I often feel we're being scrutinized anyway. The adult would be there to facilitate the interaction, especially coaching the child who was weak in social skills. They wouldn't be there to "scrutinize."

 

I guess I'd need a 'sample' session and more information. Do the kids know they're meant to be helping? No, it will be set up so that they are playing together, both getting benefit from the playtime and friendship

 

Do all the kids just think it's fun, and it's the parents who are aware of the educational value? yesSince they work in pairs, are the pairs constant? Would attendance be more compulsory (if you're sick, your partner has non one to play with?) ... Stuff like that.

 

Thanks for the questions. That's helpful.

[Laurie4b]

Thanks for the feedback everyone! Can anyone come up with reasons why parents of "typically developing kids" would not sign up? It may just be that we are "marketing it" wrong and if we tweaked the way we presented it, people would be more inclined to participate. If we knew why someone might be concerned, it might help us address that.

 

Keep the feedback coming!

[Denisemomof4]

my youngest went to preschool for a period of time in a setting like this (would have been longer but she had separation issues among other things) and she LOVED it. She had no issues with the kids at all. I saw it as a wonderful opportunity to help others and to accept those who are different. It also helps to develop compassion.

[Irishmommy]

Yep, I would totally sign my kids up for this! It sounds like a great idea.:001_smile:

[Laurie4b]

growing up I had extensive contact with kids and adults who had disabilities of one sort or another. I think it was very helpful to me both as a child and as an adult to be able to interact with someone with disabilities. I believe it brings us out of our tidy boxes, makes us grateful for what we have, and makes us a lot more kind and compassionate. If there's anything lacking in the world, it's compassion and kindness....

 

Thanks! May we quote the excerpt above in future attempts to reach out to parents of "normal" kids? It would be a great testimony to the value of such a playgroup.

 

That being said, I don't know what would draw typical kids to *want* to do it, though. I did it because it was all around me, but there were times when it was uncomfy for me. Maybe a few thought provoking questions would help, such as, "What do you do when you encounter a person in a wheelchair?" and multiple choice answers (1. Pretend you don't see the person and just move around the obstacle, 2. Smile and say hello, 3. Talk only to the person pushing the chair, 4. What wheelchair?) might spur some parents on to participate in your program.

 

 

Great idea about the questions. I think maybe all the kids who are not "typically developing" are have high functioning autism or ASD. Can anyone help think of questions like the wheelchair questions for that group? Moms of kids on the spectrum, do you have ideas?

[StephanieZ]

I think it sounds like a very interesting idea.

 

To sell it to parents of "typical" kids. . . I'd suggest making it a short time frame of a commitment. Say max 4 - 6 weeks to start. That way, the parent knows that if they are freaked out, they don't have to stay for long w/o looking like a jerk by "quitting".

 

Make sure it is at a convenient time/place, as convenience will be a big factor for the "typical" kids parents. Also, maybe have a way that there is a bigger/more open appealing activity in addition to the paired play time. Say a 30-60 min paired time activity followed by a cool science or art thing for an hour or two in a loose group. That way, the parents/kids know they'll get time with their buddies that they already know.

 

So, sell the benefits. . .

[Laurie4b]

I think it sounds like a very interesting idea.

 

To sell it to parents of "typical" kids. . . I'd suggest making it a short time frame of a commitment. Say max 4 - 6 weeks to start. Exactly how she's starting--short summer thing That way, the parent knows that if they are freaked out, they don't have to stay for long w/o looking like a jerk by "quitting".

 

Make sure it is at a convenient time/place, as convenience will be a big factor for the "typical" kids parents. Got that, too. Also, maybe have a way that there is a bigger/more open appealing activity in addition to the paired play time. Say a 30-60 min paired time activity followed by a cool science or art thing for an hour or two in a loose group. That way, the parents/kids know they'll get time with their buddies that they already know.

 

So, sell the benefits. . .

 

This is something we recently brainstormed about. We know a really great art teacher and a martial arts instructor who might be willing to come. We thought maybe that could be an initial "draw" for the t.d. kids. Thanks fo much for your help brainstorming!

[katemary63]

Haven't read any other replies. Here's my experience with something similar.

 

Our community had a specialized pre-school through the public school for developmentally delayed kids (various causes including Autism). There were 11 kids in the class and 2 specially trained teachers. Of the 11 kids, 8 were developmentally delayed and 3 were "normal." (Sorry, just don't know how to phrase that right.) The 3 "normal" or "peer model" kids were chosen out of applicants through an interview process and were selected based on an outgoing personality and willingness to follow directions among other things. They also had to be above average in thier cognitive abilities. The goal was that the 3 peer kids would be models for the delayed kids. EX: When the teacher says, "Line up at the door," the peers would jump up and line up and the others would follow and eventually learn what it meant and also be conditioned to repond in a positive way to directions etc..

 

 

My daughter was chosen for this program as a peer kid. The program was free and each peer kid also had to have an IEP so that they would advance in their learning as well. She was in it two years for ages 3 and 4. It was WONDERFUL! And to this day, she is a very compassionate girl with a special sensitivity to those with disabilities! (She plans to be a missionary nurse to orphans overseas!)

 

Yes! I would sign my kid up for your program because I've seen something similar be very beneficial to my own "normal" child.

[elfinbaby]

My suggestion is to organize something (maybe family oriented at first) that doesn't really focus on "We want to bring typical and disabled kids together." Advertise it as a fun night for all. Let everyone mingle naturally. I don't know what disabilities you are dealing with in the group but hopefully you can find an activity that can accommodate everyone. Ask the parents of children w/dis. for ideas. I'm not suggesting you mislead anyone, just loosen the structure at first. Do a party night, pinata, ice cream, water balloons, whatever so parents will look around and get the idea what an awesome opportunity you are presenting for them.

 

Have you guys already tried to get the word around (with limited to no response) or could you have a little shindig, then towards the end of the evening approach some friendly parents with "You know, we're trying to put a play group together. Don't you think that's a great idea? Would you be interested? We found this awesome art teacher..."

 

If you haven't advertised yet, maybe put the word out as "Summer Art Class beginning. Children of ALL abilities welcome:)" It takes the pressure off. If children with disabilities sign up (I'm assuming you already have an idea of the families), make sure you know their needs and meet them. Ex. I would sign dd up and send her helper. Some children might not need a helper, just a watchful eye and occasional help. Maybe parents w/typical children are intimidated b/c they feel there are expectations on them and their dc to *do* something - not just come a play/hangout/have fun, yk?

[HeidiKC]

Definitely. A family at the Catholic school my son attends has a boy with special needs (not sure what) and he's in high school now. But I think all the kids who went through 9 years of grade school with him and their parents felt really blessed to have shared those years with him. They all said what a very special class it was all those years and they attributed much of it to that boy, and the empathy and understanding of others' differences that the kids developed. And learning that he was just as important a member of the community as any of them and had much to contribute.

[Rosie_0801]

There is always the concern of physical danger. My dc have spent time with autistic children who can become violent and have hurt adults and other students. They know it going in, and it is a risk we are willing to take. It is better to tell the children up front, so that they know they can trust you. It is better to let the parents know if this will be a concern, so that they can make decisions.

 

That's the only part that would concern me. My kiddies are too little for Conversations and we're still in tantrum stage so I wouldn't want to participate in such a playgroup if that was going to reinforce this not at all desirable behaviour! If they were too young or too old for tantrums, it wouldn't be an issue for me; I've been involved with special ed bits and pieces over the years. But I don't like the buddy idea. Playgroup is too young for buddying, imo.

 

Rosie

[happygrrl]

I only have a second here, but maybe I can get the ball rolling.

 

The two main problems I noticed between my ds (13, aspie) and neuro-typical (NT) kids was that he would not understand space boundaries and he would also not be able to look a person in the eye. Perhaps some questions about how to respond when the other person isn't playing by the social "rules" (voice modulation, eye contact, etc.). One great kid had the self confidence to tell my son that he was uncomfortable with someone that close (with no sarcasm or teasing). One would have to be VERY careful though, as it is irresponsible to teach kids that strangers being too close and making you feel uncomfortable is OK. KWIM? Handled properly, though, the situation gives NT kids the confidence to speak up.

 

I am not doing a great job right now, sorry! I better just go to bed :D.

[Vida Winter]

I'd say yes and the key is the trained volunteer that is present with the kids. It sounds like it would be a well run group.