Haven't read all your replies yet ... but you have a lot to be overwhelmed about! You're not thoughtless ... just incredibly busy and overwhelmed. A counselor and medication might help you through a difficult season. Might not. Worth a try. (For me, it's been years of both, but I am finally seeing improvement. And I'm not even a pastor's wife.) I want to also say, it's not just you. If your dh is working all these church jobs and not getting days off ... he needs to work on setting boundaries. (As perhaps you do ... reading the book "Boundaries" is good ... helps with the guilt too.) A good pastor knows his limits, and that of his family, so that he can balance work and family and not break either. It's a skill he'll need if he does want to be a full-time or part-time minister, and it sounds like NOW is the time to be learning it. And perhaps the churches he's been serving need to learn a bit about setting boundaries too. (If you've read the Mitford books ... the character Cynthia has a great deal to say about being married to an Episcopal priest, and what she will and will not do as her responsibilities. Of course, they were both much older ... but it's good perspective. Good stories too.) Many hugs to you, and I hope you get some help/relief/rest VERY soon!

Maybe you can put up a sign, too, warning about hidden cameras and how pet-dumpers will be reported to the authorities? Even if you don't have a camera...

We had three pregnancies. To the best of my knowledge, only the final one might have been user error. Not that we were against having kids, just at first we wanted to wait (got pg not too long after the wedding, and I was horribly ill at the time), and then with my PPD we really didn't want to go there again (though we are delighted with the two healthy babies we have, and saddened by the loss in the middle). My sister was told that due to her severe endo, she'd never have kids. (The doc was later proved to be an idiot.) Anyway, I suspect user error on her first, at least, but they have three kids and finally resorted to more permanent measures. Who knows. Although ... the ten year thing is a bit scary ... because I doubt very much I'll be in menopause by the time that rolls around ... and I don't have anyone to compare with because the other women in my family have had hysterectomies.

Well, I've always believed the stock market was a mass hallucination ... now I need to read about gravity (but not till I have time to process it!). Sounds fascinating. I gather from the chatter here, he's not dismissing gravity, just saying it's not the fundamental, and there's something more basic underneath? Kind of like we break matter down into molecules, and then atoms, and then we discover sub-atomic particles and all their crazy rules?

I haven't read the newest, but I love that series. I don't think there's an actor alive who could capture Ramses properly. Although I was appalled at the casting for Prince Caspian, and Ben Barnes (?) did a pretty good job with the role he was given (even if it was nothing like the book, sigh). They tried a movie based on the Mrs. Pollifax books once, a TV movie, and they slaughtered (literally) the series ... I shudder to think what they'd do to Amelia Peabody. It helps when the scriptwriters actually READ the series so they don't kill off someone who turns out to be a recurring character a few novels down the road. A juvenile series based on Ramses would be a blast. (Also probably literally.)

So ... we use our inhaler rarely (my son has mild asthma), and we use a spacer. I looked, and it says no CFCs. So ... I see now that I need to prime it each time (good to know!) and I need to clean it out ... tell me about this? We don't use it enough for me to ever have noticed it gunking up (when he gets bad, it's usually virus-induced and he's miserable anyway and prefers his nebulizer), so I have NO idea how to clean an inhaler. I didn't even know you could. I do know to rinse out the spacer. Help?

FWIW, I am on Xanax along with other meds ... it does help, but for me it has to be 'round the clock because of the severity and frequency of my panic attacks. But we've made breakthroughs this summer and I might get to taper down soon. Weirdly, my stepdad was prescribed a MUCH higher dose for as-needed ... I didn't even know it came in that high a dose! (And I wonder why my former docs never suggested it??) Anyway ... most folks swear it calms a panic attack in 15 minutes. It doesn't for me, but my panic levels are usually pretty high to start with, which is why we are doing more long-term dosing. It's worth asking. I also hear good things about klonopin from others.

Sounds like she got the whole set for that price ... which is great!

Ah. So a good study of the copyright info page of most books would be enough to teach them those basics, and then when they see it on a card, they will get it. If they've learned to cite a book for a report, they would also know that information. Perhaps that's why they kept it ... just because it covers all those bases? If it asked about other subjects and keywords that the book might be under, that would be trickier.

Don't forget, folks, you don't have to call 911 to report these things ... especially smokers and, er, tea makers ... they aren't in a hurry! Call the non-emergency number ... it doesn't tie up the emergency lines. And the police DO need to know about these things. If it happens in the daytime, it can happen at night too ... and perhaps with not such willing partners. Would YOU want your neighborhood park to turn into the next teen parking area? AND it is illegal. The security guards used to catch kids in the stairwell at our public library!!! And it's NOT a private stairwell...

Assuming I had known what they had, I would have considered calling too. (Might have chickened out, but would have at least considered it.) Whatever was in the thingy, they aren't supposed to be smoking under age 18. Unless they were just having fun blowing bubbles or something. And in a children's park (which our neighborhood park is), it sets a terrible example. Plus, like you said, one young lady was incapacitated ... I would be concerned for her safety. Did they walk there or drive there? What advantage might her companions take? That in itself is another concern. Which reminds me ... it would probably be sensible to program the police non-emergency number into my tracfone that I never use, just in case.

At least have the kids wear long-sleeve shirts and long pants ... and then change and scrub right after the party? (This is what I have to do for hiking in case of poison ivy ... would it work for you?)

I have a card catalog at home. :D But then, I miss the real ones too. I keep a spreadsheet of my books, but also a card file ... I guess I am weird. I would want to teach my kids the Dewey Decimal basics, which would probably be enough to get them through a card catalog question. But I am curious precisely what they asked?

Maybe they can make a list? Put bookmarks in the good spots in the books? Take photos of the castles? And then have 'Show and Tell' at the end of the day, or over dinner, or something?

Now, on the other hand, if we could find some good bribe to get those on our Administrative Council at our church (basically, the heads of the major committees) to actually show UP at the meetings to cast votes and help decide things ... that'd be great! LOL. Or maybe bribes for those who bring in the most potential volunteers .... now, there's a worthy cause! :D I do think it would be a hoot if everyone involved in a situation like that banded together and rotated from group to group. Obviously. Loudly. With clear planning. It just might get the point across... I've never seen an Awanas around here run that way, and I know my sister has helped lead Awanas and never mentioned such a thing (if so, I am sure my kids would have been first on their invite list, as they always loved doing things with their cousins when they lived nearby, and would've been happy to help earn a prize). So it must be something most sensible churches find an alternative for. (We don't have Awanas at our church, but some of our kids attend at another church and have really learned a lot from it. It can be a good program.)

As for the water-in-the-nose thing ... that turned out to really bug my daughter and a couple of the other kids ... we finally explained that you blow OUT when you come up, kind of like blowing your nose in a kleenex. Sounds gross, but they needed to know exactly what they were supposed to do to get the water out! Just another babystep that you don't always think of. Once it was put into specific words for them, I caught all the kids doing better about it, and even my daughter fussed less ... it was cool.

I'd be throwing the tomatoes at the teacher ... I just didn't want to post because I figured I'd babbled enough on this thread already. Some kids can handle that, some can't ... and it's irreparable damage if you guess wrong...

I expect if the child had been around lots of other swimming folks and had absorbed the idea that swimming was a perfectly normal life activity, it might work. I, personally, would've died if someone did that to me.:)

I guess it depends on the kid ... my kids were comforted that I was near ... I did NOT interfere until one had a complete fear meltdown the first day, and only after I could tell the teacher wasn't making progress calming ... so I went into the water, and talked calmly, and supported the teacher's request. Worked great. And then I stepped out of the way. I have a highly anxious elder child, and it's a fine line ... but being near is usually the best choice for him.

Following up on some previous posts ... Hillary's right on about letting him get used to water, and splashing, and stuff like that. And I have a friend who also wanted to do swim lessons with her 5yo and 7yo this year, and she tried the local Y. The classes were full or something, so she had to opt for private lessons, which are pricey ... but it turned out that since her kids were both doing it together, it changed from 'private' to 'group' and the cost went down! They had to share the pool with other users, of course, and I don't know if that was the Y's pricing policy or the instructor's, but it's sure worth asking about if there's a similar facility near you. Also, I was told one boy in our little class who's maybe 5 was terrified last year ... this year he was so much improved that they bumped him from our beginner group to the slightly more advanced one. So sometimes it's just a time thing! (Too bad we have to wait to find out on that though!)

We just finished six beginner swim lessons for my 5.5yo and 8.5 yo. Neither had much pool experience (the 5yo none at all) and they were both nervous. But we got lucky and got an opening for the pool in my mom's neighborhood (Go Grandma!). (ETA: We do have a wading pool that's fair-sized but never over knee deep, so they do have water experience ... just not pools or pool safety.) The teacher was AWESOME at breaking it down into babysteps, and getting the kids to trust her, even when they were scared. They all made such big strides! It was three days last week, and three this week (and we've signed up to split a session with another mom later this month just to get three more days, she was that good!). Most of the kids were 3 or 4 or 5, and the class was very small. (Fortunately my boy is used to hanging out with all ages and wasn't embarrassed to be with little ones ... never occurred to him! He played with bigger kids after class.) Anyway, perhaps it just needs the right teacher, or the right babysteps. She had them start by being on the steps (nice wide ones in this pool, and that end of the pool, L-shaped, didn't get above 3 feet). They dipped one ear in the water briefly. They dipped the other ear. They practiced dipping down and blowing bubbles. (Or practiced in the air till they were comfortable.) I mean, she had it down to the simplest steps! She managed to get them from ear-dipping, LOL, to floating briefly on their backs and on their stomachs, sometimes even with their faces in the water. And this was just with six 45-minute lessons. They did practice kicking, and she'd tow them around ... some would cling tightly, others trusted just her arm under them. Each lesson ended with them jumping into the pool into her arms ... she stepped a bit further back each day, according to each child's comfort level. Now, of course, my kids aren't fully swimming yet ... but they've got some safety basics under their belt and they aren't as nervous anymore. My 5yo still doesn't want to put her face in, but she had a blast playing around with the other kids in the 3ft section ... the first day or two she just wanted to retreat to the baby pool after class. My 8yo doesn't want to float much ... but his new favorite game is seeing how long he can hold his breath underwater, and he asked me to buy him some diving sticks. So ... they are off to a good start, and I think that one more week we'll get later will help them pull together a bit of the kicking and the arm movements. (She's even considering a brief refresher course for a few of us moms who haven't swum since we were little ... I don't float like I used to! ... I am so glad some mom was brave enough to ask her about it.) Anyway, if you've got a small pool at home, knee-deep for the child, you can still practice the bubbles and the ear dipping and all that. You can even do some floating if you kneel down in the water to support them ... we were in a 1.5 ft kiddie pool at a party this weekend (it even had a 6 inch end!) and I was able to support my 5yo on my knee and two arms, and she practiced floating on her tummy and kicking ... I was so proud she wanted to try! Rambling ... but it is so amazing what difference the right teacher, and group, and simplified steps can make for a child. (They even laminated the completion certificates for the kids so they wouldn't get water damaged after class ... how cool!)

Sorry AL didn't work (it's a great state, minus the heat!) ... but glad you are all together again.

I started getting migraines after my 2nd was born. I did have a friend once who had them since childhood, non-stop. I don't know how she did it. Among some of the other triggers listed, one I found (and, posting on another forum, several other ladies had lightbulb moments that it was a trigger for them too) ... barometric pressure. The night before, or the day of, a coming storm ... major headache. Combine with another trigger (PMS, too much salt intake, caffeine, whatever...) it'd be a total knock-out migraine. So even though it sounds weird, you might consider if the weather correlates as well. I know we've been having weird storm patterns in my area, and coupled with stressful things ... it's been rough right now for me. Of course, you can't do much about the weather, but it's nice to be able to blame it on something, and know to start the meds earlier rather than waiting to see if it will just go away. (Mine will trigger panic attacks if I don't get them under control soon enough.) I've always been sensitive to air pressure type things (I get horribly motionsick, for example) so it wasn't a surprise once I figured it out ... but it was nice to hear others get that same realization too. So just a random thought for you in case it helps. ((hugs)) ETA: Apparently typing at the same time as Catherine!

It's like asking teachers to work without pay ... oh wait, they practically DO work without pay, what with all the overtime they put in, and supplies they buy for the classroom, the lunches they get for kids who forgot, etc.... I don't know ANY pastor who's paid in proportion to the work he puts forth! (Maybe in some richer communities, perhaps?) I know most of ours HAVE given sacrificially out of their earnings when building programs come around. Sometimes they choose not to advertise just how much they give; occasionally one will make a point of sharing what he's contributing so the congregation knows that we're all in this together. And if we started paying pastor's WIVES what they deserve as part of their inherited job (and pastor's husbands, these days, I guess) ... gosh, we'd never be able to afford it! If *I* put in full-time hours at a job, and would otherwise be needing that time to work a job to provide for my own family's needs ... I would expect a salary. It's only fair. Obviously, as a homeschooling SAHM, I don't get a salary. We're blessed that my dh earns enough to cover our needs. So I do volunteer my time in certain jobs. But there have also been seasons where the pay was needed ... and I was in positions that did get paid. (Part time ones, like helping at the church preschool.) And still a lot of my earnings went back into the ministry I was trying to do. ETA: I'm also on a few church committees, and have seen the budget (what I understand of it) ... it's made available to everyone, actually. We do not have savings. We do our best to operate debt-free, and set aside for the predictable crises (our air-conditioner, for one) ... but when certain things come up, like our roof leaking and needing major repairs, or the new wheelchair ramp we just had added on (which was significant architectural work for the building we've got ... side of a mountain, among other issues) ... those cost. People have to give a bit more to make it happen. I wasn't able to contribute to some of it with money, but I and another woman were able to point out to the trustees that we'd recently had storm damage and to check with the insurance company ... so in that sense we did contribute, because it turns out our insurance was willing to pay a LOT towards the roof work. The company that did the work on our new entrance for the wheelchair access did so at what I think were significant discounts, to help us out. One lady managed to find a deal on a much-needed new church van, since our old bus and van had died ... she was able to trade in one, ask a few favors for deals, and get a new van for basically what we would've had to pay to replace the engine of one of the old ones ... what people can't put in with money, they put in with time. And others made up the rest with contributions.

Are you sure her bruise is the only lasting injury? I mean, has she had any weird backaches or anything like that, since then? That's what I'd be concerned about ... a bruise is no biggie, but if she hit THAT hard ... I'd be wondering what collateral damage there was, KWIM? I totalled a car and got nary a bruise, but had bone and muscle aches for days after, when I was a teen. And in middle school, some kids pulled a chair out from under me when we were sitting down, and I landed hard on my tailbone ... no mark, but that bone ached off and on for years. Not trying to give you more things to worry about! Just a heads-up about things to double-check. I'm not sure you are overreacting ... I think you might want to try reeeeeeeally hard to be calm when you talk to them, but personally I'd be pretty livid too. You just don't dive into unknown waters, no matter how many other idiots you can see doing it. I do think a gentle, "Wow, did you know what a dangerous place that is? We're so lucky no one came away with anything worse than a bruise" might be in order ... they do need to know, and it can't be assumed that they 'learned a lesson' because if no one got badly hurt, they probably still think it's okay there! And since they sound like generally sensible people, they probably would want to know. They also might not have spoken to you yet out of worry ... they don't want to lose the friendship either. Maybe they hope you think it was okay too. Yeah, maybe your daughter should've had better sense. But that's the age where they waver between being young and frightened, and being out to stretch their wings and test their limits ... that's a good thing, but sometimes they don't have the right information to make those judgment calls! Either way, lots of hugs to both of you!