How many people here say "Shut up!" and......

[Denisemomof4]

do you consider it rude?

 

I grew up saying it. I still say it. Some people are taken back when I say it, and I usually say it in a joking way. I do say it seriously to my kids, we all say it. I don't find it disrespectful but can see how one can.

 

Also, I say, "I could have killed him!" but I never mean that in the literal sense. Some people are shocked when I say this, but again, I've been saying this all my life. It never really occurred to me that ANYONE could think that I'm saying that in a literal sense.

 

I do try not to say either as much now, because I don't want to sound offensive, but I do still say them, mostly at home.

 

Siiiiiiiigh. I'm almost 47. It's going to be hard to change this now.

[Desert Rat]

I avoid Shut Up. I'll say it in a joking way (think Stacey on What Not To Wear). But I don't like my kids saying it. They've started saying "shut it" to try to get around it. Ha! That doesn't really fly either. I sometimes to tell my boys to shut up if I'm at the end of my rope. The know that if mom says that, they'd better listen!

[2squared]

Used to say it.

 

Stopped when I had kids.

 

No one in our house is allowed to use that phrase.

 

I think it is very rude, and I can't think of when it wouldn't be rude. I know it can be said sarcastically in a joking way, but at the heart, it's still rude.

 

Just one person's opinion.

[Laurie4b]

Where I grew up, saying shut up was not considered any ruder than saying be quiet. Where I live now it is, and unfortunately, it's a habit I haven't kicked.

[TCoppock]

:blushing: I grew up with those phrases, too. I say, "Shut up," but never seriously. I try not to allow DS to say it, but it's a hard habit we are both trying to break. When you think about it is does sound mean.

[KIN]

I rarely say "shut up". My children are not allowed to use it. It just sounds rude somehow.

[Pamela H in Texas]

My kids (teens) would be like, "I can't believe she said a bad word in front of her younger kids" and they would be absolutely appalled if you said it TO them.

 

We do go to extremes in what we'd do to people, "beat you senseless" and the like. However, I have tried to temper that a great deal making it silly like "hang you up by your toenails and make you clean the baseboards" rather than ugly seeming.

[simka2]

I think I have said it to my children about 3 times...when I was extremely angry. It makes my skin crawl when I have heard them say it. Also, I think I would only say it publicly in intense situations.

 

Now, we do say it in jest, but I think there are better ways to get my point across.

 

Then again, I'm not perfect in this area! :D

[Jean in Newcastle]

I only say it under duress. I will say "shut your mouth" when I've tried to redirect a child and they keep going and going and going with something inappropriate.

 

I also make idle threats - "You'd better clean that up or I'll feed you to the dogs". But I say it with a twinkle in my eye and a smile on my face. If I'm really setting a consequence then I will only say what I mean to follow through on.

[sparrow]

No, we don't use it here. I lost my cool and said it to one of the kids. Once. I felt horrible about it.

[Carrie12345]

I use "shut up" and "I'll kill you!" all. the. time. Mostly just at home, but I've done it in public when my kids are obviously not heading toward shutting up on their own (in which case it becomes an exaggerated expression of "OMG, my brain is going to explode if you don't quit with this obvious diarrhea of the mouth. Can't you see the eyes bulging out of my head, child?" situation.)

 

I've never said it in what *I* consider to be a rude manner. ;)

[The Girls' Mom]

I'm in the same boat you are. I say "shut up", "I'm going to strangle you", "I'm going to hang you by your toenails" and probably others that don't even put a blip on my radar but are offensive to others. My kids and my dh know what I mean, and when I'm just joking around. I don't tell random people to shut up.

[AHASRADA]

"Shut up" was a phrase that I never gave a second thought to, at least among friends and family. I did say it to my class, only once, as a new teacher, when they were on my last nerve, and they were shocked! Apparently, their middle-school policy was not to use that word.

 

My elementary-schooled nephews' response whenever my children use the phrase, is to gasp and say, "You said the "s" word!" (something they learned at school; their parents certainly wouldn't care). I can sort of understand the school wanting to foster a respectful environment, but somehow this seems like a petty way to go about it. I'm sure many of the kids are saying much, much worse things on the playground :glare:.

 

Personally, I do not swear at all, never have, never got into the habit (my parents do from time to time, but I decided as a child not to use those words). I also do not use any of those exaggerated threats, like "I'm going to strangle you" (they have always appauled and disgusted me).

 

Therefore, no, a simple "shut up" does not offend me in the least, and my entire family uses it unabashedly. There are much worse things that could be said, and circumstances frequently warrant its use. By the way, I also use "stupid" instead of swear words, like "I stubbed my toe on that STUPID table again!", so this word doesn't bother me either (as long as it is not directed at people).

[Dawn in OH]

Yes, I say "shut up".

And yes, it's rude.

 

Here's how it goes in our house:

 

Me: Please be quiet.

 

I need you to be quieter please.

 

It's too loud in here.

 

I need you guys to quiet down a bit please.

 

Please quiet down.

 

I REALLY need you guys to quiet down some.

 

It's time to quiet down.

 

Will you PLEASE quiet down?

 

Guys, I've asked you to please quiet down about 20 times now.

 

WOULD YOU SHUT UP!

 

I really do TRY not to say it. I'm not proud of that fact that I say it. But I only have so much patience.

 

The kids are not allowed to say it. Technically, it's on the banned word/phrase list. They also know that when/if I say it, they've pushed too far and to run and hide or pretend you don't exist because Mom is clearly angry now.

[Ellyndria]

I vote rude. I don't say it and I don't like hearing it.

 

However, I'm told that "Be quiet" is also rude, the couple times I've used it. So now I resort to, "That's enough," or "I need you to be quiet now," or "You need to be quiet now so I can think/drive/etc."

[Nakia]

I have said it a few times, and it broke my girls' hearts. I try really hard to avoid it. I say things like, "If you don't quit, I'm going to bite off your toes" and things like that a lot. They know I'm kidding, but it usually gets the job done.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

I used to say the French equivalent of "I'll kill you" until I saw someone kill someone else. Now I just can't say it, and I will do my best to leave the presence of anyone saying it, because I find it profoundly disturbing.

 

Before using such a sentence, be aware that it may open deep wounds in people within earshots. Within the confines of your home, fine, do what you want, but in public? Words like that can trigger some post-traumatic stress in some people..

[babysparkler]

Used to say it.

 

Stopped when I had kids.

 

No one in our house is allowed to use that phrase.

 

I think it is very rude, and I can't think of when it wouldn't be rude. I know it can be said sarcastically in a joking way, but at the heart, it's still rude.

 

Just one person's opinion.

:iagree:

[MamaSheep]

I generally try to avoid saying things I don't want my kids to say to me. And for me, that does include "shut up". Whether I would consider it rude or not would depend on the tone of voice in which it was said. Generally I think it's disrespectful, but I don't find it offensive on the level of actual swearing.

[cjbeach]

I have said it a few times, and it broke my girls' hearts. I try really hard to avoid it. I say things like, "If you don't quit, I'm going to bite off your toes" and things like that a lot. They know I'm kidding, but it usually gets the job done.

Same here.

[ereks mom]

I think I have said it to my children about 3 times...when I was extremely angry. It makes my skin crawl when I have heard them say it. Also, I think I would only say it publicly in intense situations.

 

Now, we do say it in jest, but I think there are better ways to get my point across.

...

 

 

:iagree:

[melissel]

do you consider it rude?

 

I grew up saying it. I still say it. Some people are taken back when I say it, and I usually say it in a joking way. I do say it seriously to my kids, we all say it. I don't find it disrespectful but can see how one can.

 

Also, I say, "I could have killed him!" but I never mean that in the literal sense. Some people are shocked when I say this, but again, I've been saying this all my life. It never really occurred to me that ANYONE could think that I'm saying that in a literal sense.

 

I do try not to say either as much now, because I don't want to sound offensive, but I do still say them, mostly at home.

 

Siiiiiiiigh. I'm almost 47. It's going to be hard to change this now.

 

I never said shut up; it wasn't a rule in our house (I don't think! maybe it was ingrained in me when I was too little to remember?), but I did grow up saying "I'm going to kill you!" I stopped when I was an adult after reading an article written by a parent of a murder victim. He talked about how we throw those phrases around and how we should really think about what it is we're saying (and about horror movies too--how even commercials for movies upset him terribly, because people are really killed in such awful ways). It made me reconsider that sentiment, and I don't think I've said it since.

 

Yes, I say "shut up".

And yes, it's rude.

 

Here's how it goes in our house:

 

Me: Please be quiet.

 

I need you to be quieter please.

 

It's too loud in here.

 

I need you guys to quiet down a bit please.

 

Please quiet down.

 

I REALLY need you guys to quiet down some.

 

It's time to quiet down.

 

Will you PLEASE quiet down?

 

Guys, I've asked you to please quiet down about 20 times now.

 

WOULD YOU SHUT UP!

 

I really do TRY not to say it. I'm not proud of that fact that I say it. But I only have so much patience.

 

The kids are not allowed to say it. Technically, it's on the banned word/phrase list. They also know that when/if I say it, they've pushed too far and to run and hide or pretend you don't exist because Mom is clearly angry now.

 

In our house, the end of that scenario is my thunderous "ENOUGH!!!!!" Works every time :lol:

[Remudamom]

I didn't threaten my kids when they were little, but now that they are all bigger and stronger than me it's a hobby. I like to tell my hulk sized boys that I'm going to smack them into next week, and they seem to like hearing me say it. They get a big enough laugh out of it anyway...."Did you hear what Mom said????"

 

My "little" brother used to like to pick my mom up when she fussed at him and hold her up off the ground, so I guess we're pretty bad about teasing.

[melissel]

I used to say the French equivalent of "I'll kill you" until I saw someone kill someone else. Now I just can't say it, and I will do my best to leave the presence of anyone saying it, because I find it profoundly disturbing.

 

Before using such a sentence, be aware that it may open deep wounds in people within earshots. Within the confines of your home, fine, do what you want, but in public? Words like that can trigger some post-traumatic stress in some people..

 

Oh Cleo, I was typing as you posted :grouphug:

[SonshineLearner]

My husband says, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" or "SHUT UP" and I find it very offensive.... (to the kids, not me)

He also says all the other naughty words we would never have dreamed to say... f*rt, booger, all that other stuff...

 

We also didn't lick our fingers!!

 

I like the way I learned to speak; I believe that it sounds crass and something else... ?? when you say all the naughties... but...well.. that's how I was raised... and how my mom was raised...

 

:)

[delaney]

Yup I say it:)

[Pamela H in Texas]

Dawn,

 

I know you didn't ask; but have you considered a mild, firm consequence for not respecting it sooner so you don't get frustrated and holler shut up?

 

I would naturally be a yeller. Being a strict disciplinarian has allowed me not to yell much throughout the years though. I handle things the first time (MAYBE the 2nd) so I don't feel the need to be harsh in word or consequence later.

 

Just an idea. As a substitute teacher, I give very specific instruction about the noise level of the classroom and each individual. And I am quick to correct rather than letting it get out of hand. Only twice have I had to go so far as to speak to a student outside in the hallway; but even THAT is pretty mild of a consequence, ya know?

[crimsonkelley]

No, I don't say it. My kids think it's a curse word - as well as the word stupid. My son tried to read a Time Warp Trio book, but it used the word stupid several times in the first chapter, and he refused to read any more.

[elizabeth]

Never. I was so startled when I heard Dumbledore in the Potter series exclaim SILENCE that I have always used this term to bring immediate quiet. It sounds much nicer too.

[Guest ToGMom]

NOPE...

 

No "shut up", No "stupid", No "idiot"...etc, etc. These types of words are :thumbdown::ack2:

[Dawn in OH]

Dawn,

 

I know you didn't ask; but have you considered a mild, firm consequence for not respecting it sooner so you don't get frustrated and holler shut up?

 

I would naturally be a yeller. Being a strict disciplinarian has allowed me not to yell much throughout the years though. I handle things the first time (MAYBE the 2nd) so I don't feel the need to be harsh in word or consequence later.

 

Just an idea. As a substitute teacher, I give very specific instruction about the noise level of the classroom and each individual. And I am quick to correct rather than letting it get out of hand. Only twice have I had to go so far as to speak to a student outside in the hallway; but even THAT is pretty mild of a consequence, ya know?

 

In the past, that worked for me, 8 times out of 10. However, now with a newborn in the house, I cannot always leap out of my seat and deal with the offending child. For instance, today I told someone to go to the corner for bad behavior and he didn't go. I said it 3 times and he never moved. In the past, I would have dropped what I was doing and escorted the child to the corner. But when I'm in the midst of a feeding, diaper change, bath, etc. that's really not such a good idea.

 

Its really frustrating, especially when the 2 children involved are old enough to know better. I don't have these kinds of problems with the two year old.

[OhM]

Funny you mention it - it's always been verboten in our house, but recently (for whatever reason) dh has trotted it out several times when the girls have been mouth to him. :confused:

 

Maybe he thinks their old enough to "handle" it? I've pushed back against it pretty hard, and I think he's convinced that unless he wants to be hearing it back in his face, he needs to lay off! :glare:

 

But until recently, it was almost never heard around here.

[NavyWifeandMommy]

I use to use it and I cut back since having kids. It now seems like a negative word. I rather say Be Quiet. When I say Shut up it's yelling and am at my end. When I say it I know that I need a Mommy time out and will look for a sitter or just pop in a movie for the kids and have me some quiet time.

So I am going with those who say it's Rude.

[Mommyfaithe]

do you consider it rude?

 

I grew up saying it. I still say it. Some people are taken back when I say it, and I usually say it in a joking way. I do say it seriously to my kids, we all say it. I don't find it disrespectful but can see how one can.

 

Also, I say, "I could have killed him!" but I never mean that in the literal sense. Some people are shocked when I say this, but again, I've been saying this all my life. It never really occurred to me that ANYONE could think that I'm saying that in a literal sense.

 

I do try not to say either as much now, because I don't want to sound offensive, but I do still say them, mostly at home.

 

Siiiiiiiigh. I'm almost 47. It's going to be hard to change this now.

 

I say "Shut up!" and I usually mean it. If I am talking to my kids they tusually get a few "stop talking's please" 's before the ol' shut up. You know...a mom can only take what a mom can take. :tongue_smilie:

[kalanamak]

I have used it half a dozen times when hubby starts ranting about China or some such thing (every time something breaks....he is ham-fisted...it must be those bloody Chinese). After 45 minutes of b*tching (there is no other word for it) I tell him to shut up or leave. He does one or the other and life goes on. I consider it a fine alternative to putting his eye out with a pencil.

 

Luckily, despite his age, he is figuring out these dark, loud funks result in me not cooking dinner, or me turning the car around and refusing to continue the fun outing, so they are fading.....

[nevergiveup]

Why is saying "Shut up!" considered rude when the people who refuse to be quiet in the first place, aren't considered rude, also?

[dirty ethel rackham]

:iagree.

 

I have used it jokingly - a la Stacy on what not to wear. I said it once to my kids and promptly regretted it. They stopped dead and stared at me with gaping mouths.

[jenL]

I rarely say "shut up". My children are not allowed to use it. It just sounds rude somehow.

 

:iagree: Although, I grew up saying it, and having it being said to me.

[dragons in the flower bed]

I have said it, especially in company that doesn't mind hearing it, but I teach my children to consider it rude. That's what my parents taught me. I also teach my kids not to say "oh god" and "what's wrong with you?" and "I'll kill you!" and even "darn it!" I figure if these words seem big and bad to them, I don't have to worry about them getting into the habit of saying real cuss words.

[HRAAB]

My dh can't stand it so I don't use it. I think there are nicer ways to say it. That doesn't mean there haven't been a few occasions...

 

I did catch dh saying it one time when the girls were being extremely loud and noisy during a football game. :D But then it was football.

[Purpledaizy]

In the past, that worked for me, 8 times out of 10. However, now with a newborn in the house, I cannot always leap out of my seat and deal with the offending child. For instance, today I told someone to go to the corner for bad behavior and he didn't go. I said it 3 times and he never moved. In the past, I would have dropped what I was doing and escorted the child to the corner. But when I'm in the midst of a feeding, diaper change, bath, etc. that's really not such a good idea.

 

Its really frustrating, especially when the 2 children involved are old enough to know better. I don't have these kinds of problems with the two year old.

 

Another, you didn't ask... but perhaps enforcing a pre-set consequence after you are finished nursing, bathing etc. If I remember, your kids are old enough that they will remember why they are receiving discipline even if it is meted out little awhile after the offense.

 

I went through this with my then 14 y.o. dd when ds was a newborn. One time she actually said "bye mom, going over to so n so's" and left the house before I could ask if homework, chores etc.. were done. Of course, I couldn't leap off the sofa with a 12 lb baby with latch issues on my breast :tongue_smilie: She spent that weekend at home washing the floors and staying in her room :lol:

[Paisley Hedgehog]

..

[May]

No, no one in our family uses it. Be quiet or that's enough already has always seemed to work.

[Sandy in Indy]

It's not allowed in our house--even jokingly.

[AngieW in Texas]

For my kids, the "d" word was dumb, the "s" word was stupid, the "f" word was fat, and the "sh" word was shut up.

 

I remember assigning the Kit Story Collection (American Girl) to my middle dd when she was 8yo. She came to me in tears because of all the swearing in the book. She told me that it had the "s" word, the "d" word, and the "sh" word. I couldn't remember any such thing being in the book (I'd read it before giving it to her) and asked her to show me where they were in the book. That's when I found out what she meant.

[MaMa2005]

Absolutely not allowed in our house. It is considered very rude. It is even seen as an insult for DH to say it to his classes at the high school. He would be called down for saying it from his superiors.

[Nicole M]

Never. I was so startled when I heard Dumbledore in the Potter series exclaim SILENCE that I have always used this term to bring immediate quiet. It sounds much nicer too.

 

Just yesterday I poked my head into my son's room and did our usual wake-up, sing-song call, and he thundered in his newly changed man-voice, SILENCE! from under the covers, and I was so startled, I nearly jumped out of my skin. Woo-boy. Who needs coffee in the morning when you've got the voice of thunder in your house?

 

But, shut up? No. When I was growing up, we were not even allowed to say shut up to the dog. I find it breathtakingly rude. Hush is my preferred term, if I really need quiet.

[Ellie]

No, although I might under extreme duress. And yes, I consider it rude.

[Pink Fairy]

I, as mom, am allowed to say "Shut your gub," in a semi-serious way. For example, I might say, "You need to shut your gub and get to work," to a child who's dawdling and talking to a sibling instead of doing school work. I also say, "You need to do a check up from the neck up," "Quit flapping your gums," and, "Stop jaw jackin'." We're kind of homespun around here. :tongue_smilie:I don't know how it would sound to others, maybe just as rude as shut up, but shut up is verboten around here because I think it's disrespectful.

[SnowWhite]

Never. I was so startled when I heard Dumbledore in the Potter series exclaim SILENCE that I have always used this term to bring immediate quiet. It sounds much nicer too.

 

I'm going to try this. Shut up is a phrase I was taught never to use, and have used sparingly when extremely exasperated. Dawn, I completely get where you are with the little one, as I'm in the same boat.