Do you frequently feel harassed/persecuted for being a homeschooler?

[Katy]

I got into one debate about it.  That couple later became homeschoolers and afterschoolers, so I guess I won.

 

I've been surprised by how supportive everyone has been...  This might have something to do with the timing of conversations though.  It seems like every time someone asks me about it it's shortly after a school shooting or a threatened school shooting.

[Orthodox6]

Harrassed? Never.

 

Insults? Disdain? Absurd speculations about academics and socialization? . . . Often throughout these twenty years of homeschooling.

 

Barnes & Noble staff continue perfectly conversational when they know that we homeschool. If you are in Texas, you also may have a 10% discount card from Half-Priced Books.

 

Like many of you, I hear the "Oh, I never could do that!" response. It doesn't mean anything because the speaker probably never has thought through the associated issues in order to have a sensible reply.

[Guest]

I wasn't, back when we homeschooled.

I did get some negative feedback the one year I took off of homeschooling, while in a conversation with other preschool teachers about homeschooling.

But it wasn't harrassment, just a strongly expressed opinion.

IME, it's family that usually is bold enough to actually harrass.

 

Yep.  The only real resistance I have gotten was from my grandmother.  She once didn't speak to me for three months because she would NOT let up on the hs thing and I said we would agree to disagree or just not talk.  She chose to hang up and just not talk.  :glare:  We are now in year seven, and we will be moving back near family for the first time since we started hs.  Hopefully she will see that my child is a well socialized normal kid and leave it alone.

[Um_2_4]

Harassed is a strong word, I have been harassed about other things, not homeschooling.

 

Left out and ostracized? Yes, I have been cut out of my old group of friends (and they don't even know my unpopular opinion about B&M schools LOL!). Mainly because they see my choice as judging their choice. Plus we have not much in common anymore.

 

Ostracized by ex-coworkers, yes. (I was a teacher at a private school.) That is complicated. Some see my choice to not enroll my kids there as a statement about the school.

 

I have been told my kids will be "weird" , "not normal" etc (not by family).

 

Family (lives far away, so sees the kids irregularly) are now seeing the results with oldest and wishing all the grand kids/nephews/nieces were homeschooled.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I had a local politician tell me that I could only homeschool under the umbrella of the local public school.  I set her straight on the law and when she continued to express negative opinions on homeschool, set her straight on that.  It hasn't been an issue since.  I suppose if she had taken her negative opinion and tried to do anything about it legally, I would have felt harassed.  Otherwise, I didn't feel harassed to have her express her opinions.

 

I've had a few people over the years with negative reactions.  All were strangers.  All were people that I could walk away from in five minutes or less and I never ran into again.  Didn't feel harassed by them.  I mean, who cares what they think?  (Most people give a positive or neutral reaction.)

 

I had some family members on dh's side who were pretty negative.  I guess I did feel a bit harassed by one BIL who kept getting in my face about it.  I finally blew up at him and that took care of that.  I'm sure he still thinks we're ruining our kids but I don't care what he thinks either.  I do care a bit about what the ILs think but while they aren't pro homeschooling, they aren't anti either at this point.  

[T'smom]

I have never been harassed, I have had a few awkward encounters. One in particular was at a discovery toys party that dh's cousin was holding at my SIL's house. SIL is a public school teacher and so were the 10 or so women she invited to the party. I got there and she announced "this is my SIL, she homeschools!" That was met with dead silence.

[mommymilkies]

At one point I was to the point of CPS harassment for simply homeschooling (we weren't the only ones in town going through this).  Now?  No. 

[Lovingparent]

I have been harassed in some passive aggressive ways ever since I came to this neighborhood. When we came, people were so distant and they didn't really seem to want to socialize with us, specifically. I did have the weird comments, like "Don't you worry about education/socialization/insert your own concern here" "But you are going to stop homeschooling now, right?" And my personal favorite "So, are you like other women? Do you like shoes?" Ah, what?

 

I didn't give it much thought, but then neighbors did weird things like throw stuff in our front lawn or sending the dog to poop there. After a couple years here, I finally confronted the guy with the dog and then I realized they didn't like us because we homeschool. He told me "You cannot command me what to do, like you command your son" and he called me an a** (BTW my son likes to debate and negotiate about everything and I should be so lucky that I could tell him what to do, let alone command him!)

 

Then, another neighbor told me that they should come and take my son away from me, because I lock him up. These people hardly know me, they did not want to get to know me, but they got all these weird crazy ideas. Even people who send their kids to private schools were icy. I don't get it, especially now that I see that this is not the norm with other homeschoolers. I must have tons of bad karma  :(

 

Surprisingly, the only person that has been nice to us is a former public school teacher. Go figure!

[Lisbeth]

I wouldn't use the word "harassed" at all. Certainly people have made comments about ruining my children, but just shots-across-the-bow comments. Nothing tough to deal with.

 

I had a neighbor ten years ago that periodically muttered about calling CPS because "homeschooling can't be legal." I didn't engage her, but was just told that, actually it is legal. And gradually she changed.

 

Now with teens, I haven't heard that kind of comment in a long time. I guess that people figure we know what we're doing at this point.

 

And yes, there is some fear mongering by homeschool organizations. Some of them like to make you think that you're going to be all alone and in trouble if you don't join them. The reality is that most homeschoolers get through those years with no problems at all.

Wow. A threat to call CPS is close to the same as a threat to separate children from their parents. My inner vucious %$#&+ would tell anyone who threatened this with a lawsuit for harassment/ false reporting, reporting it to the media under an "ignorance of the law/mean neighbor" story, after which whoever it was would be DEAD to me.

[myfunnybunch]

Never.

 

Homeschooling is common and practiced by a pretty diverse crowd here, though.

 

I mean, we occasionally run across folks with a negative opinion, but meh. Opinions are like elbows....

 

Cat

[myfunnybunch]

 Do you like shoes?" Ah, what?

 

Did you tell her homeschoolers have better shoes? :P

 

(A joke from looooooong ago, maybe on the old boards? Or the beginning of this one. I think the mom ran into a nutball who was very negative about homeschoolers having better shoes than other children.  :thumbup1: )

 

Cat

 

[Farrar]

Never.

 

I have had a few exasperating experiences and conversations. There have been a few times when I have thought the laws or rules were a little unfair in regards to homeschoolers. But harassed? Um, never.

[Momof3littles]

Back to add that we moved into an neighborhood where we have a set of long time friends.  When we moved in, they were careful to caution us that the school secretary lives diagonally across the street, as if we were doing something illegal ;)  In their defense, our friends are from Germany, so HSing is really odd to them :)

[creekland]

No, but I'll admit to working in our local public high school doing math/science classes so those who know me also feel "I know what I'm doing."

 

Many would quiz my kids... and my kids loved that - always putting their quizzers into their place via their responses to questions.  ;)

 

I did have many who honestly asked questions about homeschooling - mainly out of curiosity.  I never minded discussing those things with them.

[MrsBasil]

No.  My son is young yet, so there's still time.  :)  I can't recall negative comments at the moment.

 

I've had some poorly worded questions, but the intent wasn't malicious.  Or maybe it was and the person was really bad at being mean, but I doubt it.

 

I do remember a article or blog post a few years ago where the writer interpreted a police officer or cashier asking the kids if there was school today or someone saying, "I could NEVER do that" to be negative comments. 

 

I have gotten a few of those, but don't consider them negative just curious, making idle conversation, or knowing themselves. 

[waa510]

Like others, I think the word " harassed" is a bit strong for the experiences I've had. And again, like pps, the closest times it's come to harassment was when my family was dishing it out. Sadly, this can be the worst place to hear that level of criticism from but I have gotten used to it. It's also died down somewhat as they see I'm just going to ignore it anyway! ;)

 

But, random strangers in the grocery store share their unwelcome negative thoughts constantly! I think the issue is that my kids talk up everyone they see when we're out and about and I look younger than I am...which makes people think I'm this young, naive mom with her delinquent kids.

 

I've had a lot of practice with dealing with naysayers though from breastfeeding and other 'alternative' parenting choices made before homeschooling was ever on my radar.

 

I've also lost friends like others and that's been painful. I think it's been less malicious and more we have nothing in common now. They love to show up when they need a sitter though! *sigh*

[Seasider]

Have I felt cut off from some social groups because I home school? Yes, a few times over many years. It's a rotten feeling.

 

But persecuted? Harassed? Those are pretty strong terms in my book and, for me anyway, the answer to that is no.

[trulycrabby]

Well, my mom grumps at me occasionally about it, but otherwise, no. She's a retired reading specialist and um, my mom, so I just listen to her and say, " yes, ma'm." :)

 

Actually though, I have recently gotten some minor judgement from other people at DS10´s chess club, but we are the only homeschoolers there.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Never. I've had exactly one negative response (from a friend who was a teacher) and that's it. Everyone else has either been neutral or positive. I have a SIL who isn't a fan but tells me that "I'm one of the ones doing it right" (how she knows this, I don't know, as I live several states away from her) and I've had my share of I could never do that/I don't know how you do that/super mom type comments. But I don't even experience negativity on a regular basis, let alone harassment.

[G5052]

Wow. A threat to call CPS is close to the same as a threat to separate children from their parents. My inner vucious %$#&+ would tell anyone who threatened this with a lawsuit for harassment/ false reporting, reporting it to the media under an "ignorance of the law/mean neighbor" story, after which whoever it was would be DEAD to me.

 

Yes, it bugged me, but knowing that I was in the right made me walk away. Personalities differ. Frankly I'd never threaten something I wouldn't actually do, but that's just me.

 

Thankfully time resolved it, and she's very supportive now.

[regentrude]

I have NEVER felt harassed or persecuted for being a homeschooler.

I have NEVER gotten any negative remarks about our choice.

 

I have gotten plenty of questions from people not familiar with homeschooling. Those I have answered.

[AK_Mom4]

Never harrassed. Questioned endless by curious folks? Sure. Homeschooling is pret common here and really isnt even considered "odd". We run into other homeschoolers everywhere we go. Since the public schools allow homeschoolers to sign up (and pay for) individual classes, the teachers are used to having homeschoolers come in for a class or two.

 

Lots of curious folks asking questions though. Especially now that DD13 is getting older, people are very curious about homeschooling for middle and high school and about getting into college.

 

No negative comments here though..

[Indian summer]

In my experience, in our 7 years of homeschooling, harassment is extremely rare. I can't say I've ever felt harassed - judged maybe a time or two, but never blatantly harassed. I'm sure there are people who don't agree with the idea of homeschooling, but here people are usually way too "polite" to say anything negative to your face.

 

I had one person, a close friend at the time, say "I don't believe in homeschooling" but we never spoke of it again beyond that and continued to hang out and get along well until we moved away. I suppose we just agreed to disagree. I did not feel offended when she said it, or that she was upset in any way. It was just matter of fact. And I suspect she knew very little about it, so it didn't matter to me at all.

 

Occasionally, I can tell by the questions a person asks upon learning we homeschool that they aren't merely curious, but sort of checking up on us iykwim. This is the ickiest thing I've experienced in terms of judgement, but again, I would say harassed was not quite what I was experiencing, just sort of a mistrust on the part of the questioner, as though I were incompetent, if that makes any sense. Again, this is rare - perhaps because most people say nothing if they have nothing good to say. But I live in a place famous for politeness.

 

ETA obviously this is just my experience. I suspect harassment would be more common if my life circumstances were different. I've observed people tend to be more judgmental of those with low income or low levels of parental education, which aggravates the heck out of me.

[Mrs Mungo]

We have been questioned on ocassion. I don't think it remotely meets the bar for persecution, that is a strong word, IMO.

[Scarlett]

I have rarely heard a negative word said to me about homeschooling. My XMIL but she is a nut job and her opinion didn't matter to me.

[mom2scouts]

My husband has been getting a negative reaction from a co-worker, but I wouldn't call it harassment.  DH just laughs, points out negatives (and positives) when they are doing work in a school, and talks about the positives of homeschooling. The guy's kids are still preschoolers, so dh thinks he's just clueless.

[Catwoman]

No. No harrassment. No snotty comments.

 

I think the fact that we are confident in what we are doing makes it far less likely for people to voice negative opinions, because they probably assume that it's not open for discussion.

 

If you're wishy-washy or wimpy-sounding when you say things, I think people see it as a sign of weakness or a lack of confidence, and it makes them feel that they can start telling you what they think you should (or shouldn't) be doing.

[Guest]

No. No harrassment. No snotty comments.

 

I think the fact that we are confident in what we are doing makes it far less likely for people to voice negative opinions, because they probably assume that it's not open for discussion.

 

If you're wishy-washy or wimpy-sounding when you say things, I think people see it as a sign of weakness or a lack of confidence, and it makes them feel that they can start telling you what they think you should (or shouldn't) be doing.

ITA!

 

One thing I have witnessed from time-to-time is new hsers who are...a nervous wreck, I guess. They have no sense of how they are going to do this job, and they may not have defined why, either. IME, these are usually the ones who fare the worst, if they can even make it through the first few months without fleeing to the school board and signing the kids back up. Fortunately, I can only think of three people I have known who fit this description, though.

[LucyStoner]

No.

 

Maybe people are surprised or not very supportive but I can't say I have been targeted for any harassment and certainly not persecution.

 

My brother was the most vocally negative. I told him that until he had a 2e child who'd been badly bullied in school while being bored and scared, he wasn't in a position to form an opinion. After a few years he saw the difference and apologized for talking trash about it when we first started.

 

Honestly I know more than a few homeschoolers who interpret every negative comment they hear about home education to be not only harassment but personally directed at them even if it is a very general and mild statement. Some people LIKE feeling outrage.

[kiwi3129]

I wouldn't say harrassed, but we've definitely had to deal with negative comments over the years.  Probably the most negative conversation I ever had was with the woman who cut my hair at the time.  Her daughter and son-in-law are both public school teachers.  When she found out we had started home schooling that year she commented on how even though the daughter and son-in-law were teachers they would NEVER dream of thinking that they were capable of teaching EVERYTHING to their kids all the way through school.  She doesn't cut my hair anymore.  :001_smile:

[kiwi3129]

No. No harrassment. No snotty comments.

 

I think the fact that we are confident in what we are doing makes it far less likely for people to voice negative opinions, because they probably assume that it's not open for discussion.

 

If you're wishy-washy or wimpy-sounding when you say things, I think people see it as a sign of weakness or a lack of confidence, and it makes them feel that they can start telling you what they think you should (or shouldn't) be doing.

 

And I think some people are just self-righteous know-it-alls who think they have to offer their opinion on anything and everything.

[Catwoman]

And I think some people are just self-righteous know-it-alls who think they have to offer their opinion on anything and everything.

I agree with you on that! But many of those people are bullies, and they back right down as soon as someone stands up to them and tells them it's none of their business. I think it's a mistake to listen politely when confronted by that kind of person, and that it's important to be firm and direct right away. You can't let them get on a roll, because then they never want to shut up!

[Slartibartfast]

I have never really been harassed about much of anything except by relatives.

[Χά�ων]

The only harassment I have encountered was from medical people who were completely ignorant of what DS has and his medical history. One *itch was convinced that he was making it up and that the blood test was a false positive. She held to that even after I pointed out the formal diagnoses by a team of specialists. Another was convinced that going to public school and being around normal kids would cure him. Frankly, had he attended public school there would have been something else to blame. Probably something as equally dumb, like playing with Lego. After all if he playing with Lego he is not doing push ups and every young child should spend hours each day doing push ups.

 

No other issues ever.

[Mimm]

I noticed the same thing at B&N!!  Weird!

 

Some of the B&N people are quite nice. I had one woman say, "Oh great, you guys are awesome!" But usually the conversation goes like this:

 

"Are you a reward card member?"

"No, I have an educator discount card."

"Oh I see, are you a teacher?"

Sometimes I just say, "We homeschool."

I've tried saying just saying, "Yes."

But then they ask, "Where?"

"We homeschool, and I also teach art classes."

*silence*

 

This is literally the only time I experience negativity about homeschooling. In all other areas, when we're questioned for being out during school hours, people are always positive and relate that they know someone else who does that, or they ask my kids, "Oh is that fun?" But buying books at a bookstore? OMG, fake educator trying to get away with getting cheap books! One guy told me that actual classroom teachers will use their discounts on stuff that definitely isn't for the classroom. 50 Shades of Grey being bought by a middle school teacher was his example. So I don't feel bad at all. I'm giving B&N business because I like having a brick and mortar bookstore near me. If I wanted, I could go buy it off Amazon.com and get it for the same price as the discounted price at B&N, and no judgey looks. :p

[Seasider]

I wouldn't say harrassed, but we've definitely had to deal with negative comments over the years. Probably the most negative conversation I ever had was with the woman who cut my hair at the time. Her daughter and son-in-law are both public school teachers. When we she found out we had started home schooling that year she commented on how even though the daughter and son-in-law were teachers they would NEVER dream of thinking that they were capable of teaching EVERYTHING to their kids all the way through school. She doesn't cut my hair anymore. :001_smile:

I imagine you were in quite a vulnerable position during the course of that conversation!

[Mrs Mungo]

No. No harrassment. No snotty comments.

 

I think the fact that we are confident in what we are doing makes it far less likely for people to voice negative opinions, because they probably assume that it's not open for discussion.

 

If you're wishy-washy or wimpy-sounding when you say things, I think people see it as a sign of weakness or a lack of confidence, and it makes them feel that they can start telling you what they think you should (or shouldn't) be doing.

I definitely disagree that one must not be confident, if people are commenting or questioning. I am one of the most confident people you will meet, but I most certainly have been on the receiving end of harsh questions or comments. If they are rude, then I am rude right back because that is how I roll. Hopefully, they will think twice before commenting negatively to the next homeschooler they encounter.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think of harassment and persecution mainly in terms of having someone with some sort of authority and control over you causing problems.  Most people with negative opinions have zero authority over me at all.  So I don't stress about what they think or even care.  With family, there is some added stress in that they (usually) have access to you and your children for a lifetime and often have some sort of limited authority over your child if they ever do a bit of childcare.  If they don't have any authority then they are annoying but easy for me to ignore.  

[Momof3littles]

I definitely disagree that one must not be confident, if people are commenting or questioning. I am one of the most confident people you will meet, but I most certainly have been on the receiving end of harsh questions or comments. If they are rude, then I am rude right back because that is how I roll. Hopefully, they will think twice before commenting negatively to the next homeschooler they encounter.

 

Totally agree.

[HS Mom in NC]

There are almost 10,000 homeschooled kids in the county I live in surrounding the PHX metro area.  I've never been harassed or persecuted. I have been occasionally annoyed though.

 

When I use teacher discounts or buy a lot of educational supplies I'm often asked if I'm a teacher.  My response is always, "I homeschool." Whether or not that's a teacher or not in the mind of the person asking isn't something I think about anymore. 

[Lovingparent]

I definitely disagree that one must not be confident, if people are commenting or questioning. I am one of the most confident people you will meet, but I most certainly have been on the receiving end of harsh questions or comments. If they are rude, then I am rude right back because that is how I roll. Hopefully, they will think twice before commenting negatively to the next homeschooler they encounter.

 

:iagree:

[foxbridgeacademy]

Never, my family is very supportive (my sisters and I were HS'ed for a couple years) my youngest sister HS's her 3 children as well.  My dad's family are uber-religious so the idea of HSing is not new or different to them.  My mom's brother (the only family member we speak to) also HS'ed his children.  

 

When I meet strangers who ask questions about school they always seem very surprised but positive.  The only time I've ever had a negative reaction was when we lived in Kansas. Our neighbor (a very odd older lady whose mental faculties were going) was very adamant that we should send the kids to school.  Having been a teacher in the P.S. system I think she felt personally offended by our choice.  She also thought is was awful that I didn't iron DH's clothes and offered to show me how :confused1: .  I told her I know how to use an iron and if DH wanted his work clothes (he's in Industrial Maintenance) then he could do it himself.

 

So no, I've been lucky, or more likely all the critics have been lucky as I've been known to get very vocal about the rights of HSer's ;) .

[Grover]

only from my mother :-)

 

I work in schools, so sometimes people (when they first meet us) are surprised to hear that I homeschool, and a couple have questioned why I work with the system but opt out of ti for my own children.  I have had two random run ins with strangers who thought they needed to express their opinion about home education, but most people are supportive. 

[G5052]

I definitely disagree that one must not be confident, if people are commenting or questioning. I am one of the most confident people you will meet, but I most certainly have been on the receiving end of harsh questions or comments. If they are rude, then I am rude right back because that is how I roll. Hopefully, they will think twice before commenting negatively to the next homeschooler they encounter.

 

I don't think confidence has anything to do with it.  If you're doing something contrary to most of society, you're going to be questioned. Period.

 

Last fall I got into a debate with the head guidance counsellor at the local high school over homeschooling.  I was there to sign up for the PSAT, and wanted information about their AP exams.  He couldn't see how anybody could possibly do it competently all the way through.  So I pulled out all the stops.  I gave him my credentials and told him my DC's test scores including my oldest's PSAT from the previous year.  We went on for awhile with all the examples he had seen of homeschooling going astray, and I kept telling him how we did things differently.  He finally told me that I apparently know what I am doing, but that things are different from his chair as one who admits homeschooled kids into public high school.  OK, I bought that and moved on.  But I never felt harassed.  It was just a debate from two viewpoints.  

[Arcadia]

The comments so far are reinforcing my initial thought that this particular mom is either very sensitive, has been conditioned to expect harassment, and/or has encountered some really unusual people/situations.

 

I think it has to do with projected personalities and also what counts for harassment.  I have been to malls where my neighbors has complained about being harassed by aggressive salesperson but it just took an annoyed look from me for them to stay away. So sometimes being "too polite" can lead to people coming on strong about "why your kids aren't in school".  My neighbors tend to be very "loyal" to their kids private schools and they would encourage anyone to go there to the extent of hard sell (which can be perceived as pushy or harassing). 

[AimeeM]

Not at all. It's very common here - most consider it as normal as private school (which, here, is as normal as public school for the most part). In fact, the last time we were out in public during the day, instead of asking why they weren't in school (something I've seen asked a lot on this board, of boardies and their children), the girl seated next to us in the ped's waiting room asked me if we homeschool (she looked about the same age as DD13); I said yes, asked her if she was homeschooled, and she sighed and said "no, I have to go back to school after this". Lol.

[Momof3littles]

I don't think confidence has anything to do with it.  If you're doing something contrary to most of society, you're going to be questioned. Period.

 

Last fall I got into a debate with the head guidance counsellor at the local high school over homeschooling.  I was there to sign up for the PSAT, and wanted information about their AP exams.  He couldn't see how anybody could possibly do it competently all the way through.  So I pulled out all the stops.  I gave him my credentials and told him my DC's test scores including my oldest's PSAT from the previous year.  We went on for awhile with all the examples he had seen of homeschooling going astray, and I kept telling him how we did things differently.  He finally told me that I apparently know what I am doing, but that things are different from his chair as one who admits homeschooled kids into public high school.  OK, I bought that and moved on.  But I never felt harassed.  It was just a debate from two viewpoints.  

 

The part I find difficult is that in a tightly regulated state where we deal with our local SDs, it can be difficult for people to not feel harassed to a degree when those in authority overstep.  And every SD has its own culture toward HSers, their own requests, their own little nuances that often go outside of the law. Most of the time it goes fine for families, but plenty of SDs do overreach and ask for things outside of the law.

I am not a shrinking violet, feel confident I know the law, am certain we follow it.  I would feel confident enough cite the law and push back if extralegal requests were made of me.  I don't feel the need to join HSLDA, as I'm quite sure 99.9% of what would ever crop up I could deal with on my own.  My family has the resources to retain a lawyer in the really off chance we couldn't resolve an issue on our own and we know we are compliant with the law.  But, school districts really vary in their quirks.  Some are very friendly toward HSers, some demand meetings with the superintendent annually, despite it not being a requirement at all.  Some demand portfolios be submitted in a certain format, in a certain size binder, etc. even though that's not at all in the law.  Yes, most of that is piddly nuisance stuff and they can be set straight, but when someone who does have a degree of authority over things makes your life more difficult by making requests or demands outside of the law, it can feel like harassment, particularly for a family who doesn't have the resources to hire a lawyer or doesn't feel confident pushing back.  I have not encountered major issues with my local SD, other than they have avoided my requests for info about extracurriculars (which we may participate in according to our state law).  They also are known to lose paperwork pretty often, which has happened to me as well as other HSers I know in my district.  However, every year around this time as ports are returned, etc. stories pop up on the local HS lists, and also when affidavits, etc. are submitted in the beginning of the year.  I can see why some people perceive that as  harassment, because the SD does have some level of authority, and for some people that is intimidating, even if they know the law and are doing everything in accordance with the law.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Harassed? Not since my mom first heard about it and tried to bribe me to get me to send my kids to preschool (something that she had previously said was so not necessary.)  I had to set a boundary with her not to discuss it if she wasn't going to listen with an open mind.  The harassment stopped.  Within a couple of years, she came around after she saw that I wasn't ruining my kids.  The worst I have dealt with is ignorant comments from people who are misinformed or feeling judged for their choice to send their kids to school.  My boys were somewhat ostracized on sports teams and scouting, but that was more because they were eccentric kind of kids with "out there" interests.  But that same social dynamic happens with school kids who have similar interests/personalities.  I was left out of a lot of things, mostly because I didn't have "school" in common with a lot of people. 

 

ETA:  We live in a very low reg state.  We have had some dealings with the school district - for speech therapy, for AP and PSAT testing, and, more recently, for my daughter to enroll part-time at the high school. They were very accommodating.  I have heard that, in other parts of the state, there have been superintendents who harassed homeschoolers with truancy officers and police, quite outside the bounds of what is required of the law, but once their actions became public, they were very quickly put in their place. 

[laundrycrisis]

I have had relatives and neighbors be quite vocal with opinions that I didn't ask for about something that is none of their business; I have had relatives be sort of manipulative in an underhanded way; I have had business owners/clerks say to me that my kids should be in school.   But most of the time, I just experience the feeling of an instant wall going up, or like the scene in Cars when Lightning tells them he's a famous race car and they lock their doors while smiling and blinking - right after I answer their question about what school our kids go to.  "Oh !"  (click).

 

It's all ridiculous.  I would not give someone else my opinion on how their child should receive an education, hold a difference of choice against anyone, judge them in any way, etc.  But it's acceptable to treat the freaky homeschoolers this way.  

 

 

[Susan in TN]

Not at all. I am a bit of a hermit, though.