paulcindy Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 When they leave for work? (If they work early in the morning). Or do you stay in bed until you are ready to get up? Does your husband require you to get up with him in the morning, and go to bed with him at night? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 When they leave for work? (If they work early in the morning). Or do you stay in bed until you are ready to get up? Does your husband require you to get up with him in the morning, and go to bed with him at night? I never got up with my dh, nor did I ever go to bed with him at night. Unless there was a teA party in the offing. As to require? Uh, no. But then we operate under a philosophy of mutual submission, so "require" really isn't in our marital vocabulary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 No, I do not get up with him. He gets up at 5AM to do his Bible study for 2 hours before work each day. I have no reason to be up that early! lol. We do like to go to bed at the same time. We get some of our best talking done then :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I'm a morning person anyway. In our pre-kids days, I got up well before DH to go for a long walk before work. Now, I get up when he does (or before) just to get stuff done. He thinks that's crazy - because if he has the chance to sleep in, he does. At night we usually end up going to sleep at the same time, but I go up to the bedroom earlier than he does and read in bed (he likes to watch tv more than I do). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Anna Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 My husband has class in the morning and works in the evening. Since I'm a morning person, I usually (read, "always," basically) get up before him in the morning. I often have to go to bed before him, though I'm not fond of it. Mama Anna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 No, we don't usually get up at exactly the same time. If he has to be up early for work, I can often afford to sleep an hour longer. Some days I need to be up early, but he'll be working at home, so he can sleep a little longer. On weekends, he often sleeps in a bit (compared to his weekday schedule), but I get up earlier. We do *generally* go to bed at the same time, but if one of us is staying up late to get some work done, that's okay too. I'm with Pam -- there's not a lot of "require" going on in our marriage. We try to do things that support each other, and one of those things is recognizing the value in climbing into bed at the same time most nights -- and also allowing the other to sleep a little more when they need it / can afford it. If it were terribly important to my husband that I get up when he did every single morning, I think I would try to do that -- but I would probably bristle at the thought of him "requiring" it of me, and not just enjoying my company! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Well, sincehe is currently Maj. Insomnia and sometimes gets up at 3-4am, NO! But even if he got up at what I considered more 'normal' hours, no. Truthfully he doesn't want me up with him. He's really a morning person, and I'm not. And even if I was a morning person, he doesn't want to talk in the mornings. It's his quiet, stuff running through his brain, plan his day time. Even my early morning one word answers are more than he really wants. He has always gone to bed earlier than me. I can do my best work at night. He lays on the couch or bed to read or watch tv, and he's out. Sometimes he's asleep before the 6yo. And knowing he'll probably wake up at 3am, I tend to stay out in the living room till 11 or so to make sure he gets at least some decent sleep. (He's also a really light sleeper and wakes up easy.) As for "Does your husband require you to get up with him in the morning, and go to bed with him at night?" God no! Just the idea of something like that is creepy. I get enjoys, prefers not going to bed alone, or that you may wake him if you come in later. Or enjoys talking to you in the morning (and you can do better than one work answers) or wants to have breakfast with you. I can understand requests, but yeah, "require" puts my creepy meter in the red. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 We go to bed at the same time and usually get up at about the same time. I wouldn't necessarily make a rule that we go to bed at the same time every single night, so I guess that is something dh requires, but I do certainly see the benefits over the years we have been married. So I'm glad he required it. :) I think that if my dh said he wanted me to get up earlier and I preferred to stay in bed longer, I would do it, as he is a wise man. When he makes a request, it is because it is well-considered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 (edited) When they leave for work? (If they work early in the morning). Or do you stay in bed until you are ready to get up? My husband often gets up as early as 5am to go to work. I sleep. He kisses me goodbye. Does your husband require you to get up with him in the morning, and go to bed with him at night? LOL - no. The word "require" kinda throws me (sounds a bit controlling). No, my dh says, "I am going to bed" at night, and then, "bye honey, I love you" in the morning. And that is all. We have different schedules and we also need different amounts of sleep (i.e. You do NOT want to be around me unless I have had about 9 hours of sleep, but he can run well on 6 or so). Occasionally, on weekends (when he is off), he is up by 8 and I will sleep in. Again, he doesn't require as much sleep as I do and he tends to go to bed earlier. Most of the time, though (on weekends), we go to bed around the same time and get up around the same time so we can enjoy the time together. Edited March 25, 2009 by Tree House Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anita in NC Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 DH gets up at 5:30 and leaves at 7 AM. I stay in bed and get up at 8 AM. We usually go to bed at the same time but it is not required. Once in a while he or I will go to bed early if we're really tired or not feeling well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 No to both questions. Dh works shifts. He goes to bed when he is ready. I generally stay up later than him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 When they leave for work? (If they work early in the morning). Or do you stay in bed until you are ready to get up? Does your husband require you to get up with him in the morning, and go to bed with him at night? Yes and I always have. He use to work construction & got up at 4, now his hours vary from up at 4:30 to as late as 6:00. I get up with his alarm clock & make coffee & a light lunch for him to take while he is in the shower. I require little sleep so unless we're brewing tea in the evening :tongue_smilie:, I go to bed after him. He has never asked this of me I just remember once when I had just had a baby & he stated how hard it is to see me cuddled warm in bed & having to peel himself up for a cold shower at 430 am. The morning is great for an hr workout or quiet computer time before the herd awakens', and I NEED my alone time. It is AMAZING what can get done in the morning w/ no distractions. And no, if the situation is reversed as it sometimes is, he doesn't get up with me & I'm 100% ok with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I tend to read after he is asleep. And I tend to sleep in past him. I think we both like it that way - I don't think he necessarily wants company in the morning, and I know I don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debbie in IL Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I get up with him in the morning at 6am - it gives us time to talk together. I make his coffee and his lunch and he is off to work. I do this because I like to, though, not because he requires me to. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheWillFly Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 When they leave for work? (If they work early in the morning). Or do you stay in bed until you are ready to get up? Does your husband require you to get up with him in the morning, and go to bed with him at night? My husband does not require me to get up with him. I get up with him in the morning so that I can have a few minutes with him before he leaves and my day starts. I also make him breakfast and lunch. Not because he requires it but because I want to do that for him. He also eats better if I pack his lunch and make his breakfast. It saves us money too. To be fair, when I was working full-time and he was home he did the same for me.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 There's really no "requiring" about it, though yes, I do get up with him in the morning. It has not always been this way. For many years, when I was anemic but undiagnosed, dh woke me up just before he left for work. He would bring me some tea or juice to sip while I worked my way into wakefulness. My kids just read or played in the bed next to me until I was ready to read to them. However, after my anemia was addressed and I was feeling sooooo very much better, I chose to get up with dh in the mornings. Especially now that my dd is older, her workload is heavier, and I find I really need that extra time in the morning. I also like to help my husband in the morning by ironing for him. He does not require the help with his clothes--I chose to do this because he needs the help and I love him. Dh does prefer that I go to sleep at the same time as him, so I do, though at least 1-2 times per week I stay up later for one reason or another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulcindy Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 I have a terrible time sleeping at night. He spoke to me last night, because he gets up around 6-7am, and sometimes I am in bed until 9-10 am in the morning because I just cannot sleep at night(I am seeing a Dr for this). He says that "his" job is to get up and go to work and support the family, and if he stops back home around 9 am and I am still in bed, that I am not supporting him. If "he" has to get up, then my job is to get up as well. If he can drag "his lazy butt out of bed" then I should do the same. And it would "help" him get up in the morning if I was up with him. And that can be our quiet time. He also says that if I went to bed at a decent hour, I wouldn't be in bed all morning. So his thing is now, that we go to bed at the same time, and I am to make sure I am up with him and his lunch made every day. He also does not think I am schooling my daughter enough during the day, so by getting up earlier, I need to be schooling her, and not doing other things, like being here on the computer. All of my things should be done during the day as well, so if I am up earlier this gives me time to get more schooling done, and not be taking a shower at 1:00 in the afternoon. Because I may not have gotten up unitl 9 or 10 in the morning. He thinks I am on a permanent vacation by homeschooling. I do not have to get up to get my 10 yo on the bus, so he feels that I just stay in bed to whenever I please. And that is not fair to him. I guess I just needed to vent a little and I am tired, (lack of sleep last night fell asleep finally at 2 am and up at 7:30). THanks for listening Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 My dh gets up at 5 a.m. to have his Bible Study and long walk around our property. I usually get up at about 6:30 and he comes back inside around 7:00 to get ready for work. We see each other for a few minutes before he leaves at 7:30. We usually end up going to bed at the same time, but not always. If I am in the middle of something, he just tells me goodnight and goes to bed. We don't use the word "require" in our marriage. I would have trouble with that. As an adult, I choose when to go to bed. Requiring me to go to bed when he does would make me feel like a child with a bedtime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 (edited) I get up with my dh every morning to make his lunch. When he worked at Fed Ex at 4am I'd get up at 3:30am every morning. Luckily he has quit that job and is just working his 7 - 4 computer job. Now we get up between 4:30-6am. I do sometimes go back to bed if it was a late night or if I'm too lazy to stay up. He wants me to go to bed with him but it isn't always doable. Sometimes I'm still up cleaning when he goes to bed. Kelly Edited March 25, 2009 by kwiech Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I'm always the first one up (my alarm goes off at 4:45). Dh gets up anywhere from 6:30-7:30. I'm also usually the first one asleep (10 is the latest, usually around 9:15-9:30). I've always tended to go to be earlier than dh, although now he usually comes to bed around the same time as me and reads/studies in bed (he's a night person, I'm a morning person). He has never been a good sleeper, whereas I think I've got the gift of sleep. My ds9 said to me the other day "Mom, how is it you can turn out your lamp and be asleep in 5 minutes?". Probably more than you wanted to know, but there you have it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 For most of the time we've been married, I've been the one who gets up first. I'm most productive in the morning, and I like to make the most of that time. I also like a more consistent sleep/wake schedule than my husband needs. There was a year or two when he was getting up and going to work early. During that time, I fell into the habit of waiting until he was out of the shower to get up. It didn't seem to bother him. He rarely eats breakfast and usually prefers to buy lunch. So, I don't need to do those things for him. I do like to say goodbye. These days, he's fallen back into sleeping a bit later and going to work at a more traditional time. I got tired of wasting half the morning and have started getting up before him again. I've found I really love that alone time in the morning and keep pushing my wake-up time earlier. So, no, neither of us "requires" anything of the other in this regard. The general rule around here is that, if something is important to you, you ask. Most of the time, the other person is willing to accomodate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 We go to bed at the same time, and I will get up with him when he gets up. We don't really require things of one another other than fidelity, honesty, my caring for the children/schooling, and his keeping a job, though. I get up with him (6:30) for two reasons; I like to see him in the morning before he leaves, and that way I have at least 30 minutes by myself before the kids start running amok. I really need that little bit of alone time if I am going to be sane and calm that day. It is hard for me to be patient all day long without a minute of peace without that time in the morning. So really, I do it for myself...haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Yes and I always have. He use to work construction & got up at 4, now his hours vary from up at 4:30 to as late as 6:00. I get up with his alarm clock & make coffee & a light lunch for him to take while he is in the shower. I require little sleep so unless we're brewing tea in the evening :tongue_smilie:, I go to bed after him. He has never asked this of me I just remember once when I had just had a baby & he stated how hard it is to see me cuddled warm in bed & having to peel himself up for a cold shower at 430 am. The morning is great for an hr workout or quiet computer time before the herd awakens', and I NEED my alone time. It is AMAZING what can get done in the morning w/ no distractions. And no, if the situation is reversed as it sometimes is, he doesn't get up with me & I'm 100% ok with that. I am a morning person and I love being able to see him off (yes, I make coffee and lunch). He loves to sleep-in on his off days and I'm fine with that. He works hard at his job and I try to work hard at mine. We try to go to bed at the same time as neither of us sleep well alone. K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue G in PA Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I'm not a morning person and my dh knows it. He would never require me to do anything, much less get up at 5:30 am if I didn't have to! As to going to bed with him...he prefers if I turn in w/ him but realizes that I do my best work when the house is quiet and everyone is asleep. So, out of respect for him and his preference (and b/c I like to cuddle with him!) I will usually turn in w/ him and if necessary...get back up when he falls asleep! Everyone wins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runamuk Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I'm never up with my husband in the morning. He gets up around 5:00 so that he can go to the gym before work. If he decides to skip the workout, he gets up at 6:00 - and I'm still not up with him. I get up around 7 and the kids shortly thereafter. Neither one of us is a morning person, so this works out very well for us. He makes his own lunch. He takes leftovers, which he divides into Tupperware the night the meal is made. All he has to do is open the fridge, grab a container and go. We rarely go to bed at the same time. Since he's up so early, he's in bed by 10:00. I stay up until 11:00 and read, knit or check my email. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I go to bed later than he does; he rises before me. I rarely see him in the morning as he leaves by 7:30. Breakfast is the only meal of the day I do not prepare. He leaves about 15 minutes after he awakes, so mornings have never been a casual sort of greeting of the day, and I am a night owl who likes to sleep in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I go to bed later and get up later. My body clock has changed as I've grown older - if I go to sleep before 11:30 then I pop awake in the middle of the night. We would both rather snuggle down together, but it just doesn't work. I try to get into bed at 10 with him and read a book for 90 minutes. He has no complaints. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 No, we sleep like cats. My dh both have dealt with insomnia. We mumble at each other at 3am a few nights. Sometimes we're both up at 4am, but I can go back to bed. Then he gets up at 5am (with alarm) to get ready for work. I usually get up around 7:30am (no alarm). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 We also have no "Requirements" in our marriage when it comes to things like this. I don't get up with my dh, he gets up between 4-6 depending on what base he has to go to right now, I also am not a morning person and go to bed much later, because I have some tv shows he doesn't like to watch so I record them on the DVR and then watch them after he goes up. Usually about 9:30 or 10:00 he'll say "I'm going up to bed" and I'll say "Ok, Love you" he says "Love you, see you tomorrow" and off he goes. There are nights where he'll wake up when I finally come up to bed (anytime between 12 and 2am) and we may brew some tea. We do spend time together when he comes home from work after dinner. While the kids are playing we will talk while watching the news and we always watch Jeopardy together when he's not at sea. There was never a time when my dh thought I was lazy or slacking for not getting up and a while back when the kids were not school age I was hospitalized for 4 days to get my gall bladder out and have other procedures due to that. When I got home the first thing he said was "How do you do it all?" We only had 2 kids at the time. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones, because he does realize that my day isn't spent eating bon-bons watching tv all day or playing on the computer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivetails Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Yep. He gets up at 4am and I always get up with him - I make his lunch while he's in the shower, get his coffee ready, make sure he's got clean work clothes in the bedroom, etc... No, he doesn't "require" this of me - I do it because I want to and I can. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I have always gone to bed before my STBXH and am up before him. Our cycles are just different.... Does/did it irritate ME that i'm up dealing with morning kid stuff and he is still in bed? Yup, sometimes really really badly. I can't sleep in and lay in bed - but the thought of being able to do that sounds lovely..... But one of us has to be up dealing with the morning right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I am required to get up before seven or so but not by my husband- by my mini-poodle who needs to go out. DJ gets up usually at 6 am and gets in the shower. I wake up usually before 6:30 and take dog on walk, then I come home and deal with cat litter, wash my hands, make coffee, undo dishwasher, make his lunch if he needs it, and then eat breakfast and read the paper while he goes off to work. My older daughter normally is up doing work around 8:30 and younger one starts at 9:30. We don;t go to bed usually at the same time. Lately, I have been falling asleep in bed while reading and he is normally watching Shakespeare or reading in the living room. That is is I didn't get a nap in the afternoon. Around a certain time of month, I tend to get bad insomnia and then who knows when I am up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KS_ Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 When they leave for work? (If they work early in the morning). Or do you stay in bed until you are ready to get up? Does your husband require you to get up with him in the morning, and go to bed with him at night? Dh and I have almost always gotten up together - I can't sleep once he's up, and especially now that our master bathroom is pretty much right next to where the bed is (the shower is too loud to sleep through). But I like getting up earlier than the kids and having some quietness in the house in the mornings :) We do not go to bed at the same time - I have a much more difficult time falling asleep if we do (he kind of snores, or breathes loudly - lol). So I go to bed first and he'll usually stay up an hour or more later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Dh gets up between 5 and 5:30 and leaves at 6.... I am usually the one who wakes him up, without using an alarm clock, because I wake up around then whether I want to or not:001_smile: I pack a lunch and set up the coffee the night before, and then I get up at least long enough to pop an ice pack in his lunch bag and pour the coffee in the morning. I jump out of bed for all of 5 minutes to do this some mornings, and then go back to sleep -- other days, I am already halfway through my own day by the time he leaves. We operate on totally different schedules since his commute and work schedule are not flexible, while my work schedule (I work from home), is. So I will gladly work until 1 am while he really likes to be in bed by 9. Honestly, we each just try to get the amount of sleep we need to function, and I don't think either one of us feels obligated to the other to arrange it any other way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runninmommy Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I get up with my DH at 4:30 - 5:00 depending on what time he has to be at work. He usually has to be in pretty early. I make coffee and breakfast and we are able to talk and spend some nice quiet time together. I really value our time in the morning. We also go to bed pretty early. Usually by 8:30, 9 at the latest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann@thebeach Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Not a chance! :tongue_smilie: He's up between 6am and 6:30am and I'm up at about 8:30am. But he also goes to bed at 9:30pm or 10pm at latest and I don't go to bed until 12am or a little later. He's always been a morning person and me a night person. I get a lot done from 10pm to 12am with everyone asleep-laundry, checking e-mail, reading, organizing stuff for the next day... DH and I never would have been married if he "required" me to do anything.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Most mornings I get up with dh. A couple mornings a week he gets up at 5:30 to be in and off work before school traffic. On those early mornings I try to get up and see him to the door. He works from home a few days a week so we sleep in and I usually make breakfast for him and kids on those mornings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 There is no requiring going on around here, either. He generally gets up about 6:20. I stay in bed until about 7ish and then I stumble around and get some breakfast together for him, nothing fancy, I am not fond of food in the mornings. I think he likes me up, but he also knows I don't like talking in the morning so we sit in amicable silence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdogs29906 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 No way! On work days, there is no way I'm up as early as my husband. Yuck! That is way too early! (My husband works a 48-hr shift), so for half the week I go to bed/ wake up alone anyway. The other half, well we sometimes go to bed together, and sometimes we don't. But no way am I waking up with him. I love him, but I love my sleep! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 When they leave for work? (If they work early in the morning). Or do you stay in bed until you are ready to get up? Does your husband require you to get up with him in the morning, and go to bed with him at night? I usually don't get up before he leaves, but if I stayed in bed until I was *ready* to get up, I'd be there well into the day. ;) He left at 6am this morning, but I didn't get up until 6:30. He doesn't *require* me to do anything. We do go to bed at the same time. It's not something either of us has requested, but we both enjoy ending our day together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 We do go to bed at the same time. It's not something either of us has requested, but we both enjoy ending our day together. :iagree: After a thread on here awhile back, I tried to change my schedule to fit more with my body's natural clock, which is opposite of dh. (Me stay up late; sleep late) DH didn't mind, but I did. I like to go to bed at the same time, even if that means reading for awhile. I have a hard time going to sleep, but somehow a book sure manages to make these eyes droop quickly! I'm working on getting up earlier. I make all the lunch/coffee stuff the night before so in case I do sleep in, it's all ready. For me, getting up early will always be a struggle but it's always worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaniceO Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 My DH has been getting up at 5 am lately to go get a workout in before going in to work. I am not a morning person (neither is he, but he has to get up), so I sleep longer. I *try* to get up at 6:30 and get the kids up and around. Sometimes, when I'm really exhausted, I'll turn the alarm clock off and sleep until 7:30-8:00. I think my husband gets annoyed sometimes, but it is the way it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixpence1978 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I would agree with a lot of the others....there is no "requirement" involved. I do get up with my DH at 5:15 every morning to make him some breakfast and pack his lunch while he is showering. If I didn't, he would have to wake up earlier to get that done for himself. I do it because I feel pretty guilty sleeping when he is awake. That doesn't mean I don't go back to sleep for 30-60 minutes after he leaves until my kids get up though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosy Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 His alarm clock tends to wake me up at 6:30ish (though he can sleep right through 3-4 snooze cycles! Grrr...) but in our old house with carpet flooring, I slept through it and would usually just be waking up when he left. We don't always go to bed at the same time, but if we go too many days on different schedules I miss him and start to feel the distance in our marriage. It's never been a big deal to either of us to make it happen regularly though, and to be honest I think we're better off not spending too much time together early in the morning--I tend to be crabby and ultra-sensitive until about 9am and work hard to be pleasant, but it's very easy for me to blow things out of proportion at that time, which isn't good for either of us. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 -I tend to be crabby and ultra-sensitive until about 9am and work hard to be pleasant, but it's very easy for me to blow things out of proportion at that time, which isn't good for either of us. :) Yes, yes, yes. I can so relate. It was a big deal in our marriage for many years as Mr. Chipper-Cheerful-GoodMorning-MerrySunshine wanted to chat and be all friendly in the morning and I would just glare at him over my coffee cup. Then my pastor was preaching about marriage and shared that he and his wife had an understanding that she should avoid speaking to him for the first hour and after that first hour was over he would be fine. Dh looked at me and his eyes got wide as he realized that I am not the only one like that!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 My dh goes to bed earlier than I like and gets up earlier than I like. It is important to him (and to me) that we go to bed at the same time. So I do that voluntarily most nights. I also get up at the same time as he does (5:30) not because I have to, but because it helps to ensure I'm tired at night. Plus, I love getting things done in the early morning! :-) My brother has serious sleep issues, so I know it is more complicated than just "you need to....." But, I pray that you will get to the deeper issues that it sounds like might be going on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnowWhite Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 It depends... and he doesn't ask me to. I take that back a little bit, he does occasionally say, "Are you coming to bed?" if I'm zombied into the computer for 30 min or more after he retires. Mostly we like to go to bed at the same time. It gives us a chance to re-connect as a couple. Sometimes he gets up and goes to the YMCA for a workout at 6, and I don't get up then. But then he comes in for a shower and breakfast/coffee, so I get up around 7. That's when our alarm goes off. If I'm sick or have had a rough night with one of the kids, I may very well sleep in. I love to get up with him and put on the coffee, fix breakfast if he doesn't want cereal, and send him a packed lunch if he's on a health or frugality kick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2boys Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I never got up with my dh, nor did I ever go to bed with him at night. Unless there was a teA party in the offing. As to require? Uh, no. But then we operate under a philosophy of mutual submission, so "require" really isn't in our marital vocabulary. :iagree: Same here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in KY Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 When they leave for work? (If they work early in the morning). Or do you stay in bed until you are ready to get up? Does your husband require you to get up with him in the morning, and go to bed with him at night? Require? Nope! Besides, he usually is the one who goes to bed later and I earlier. I prefer him to sleep when I do, and I've noticed it's vice-versa on the rare occasions the tables have been turned. That being said, I make sure I am up when he leaves for work, that I make him a nice cuppa tea to help peel open his eyelids, that I pack his lunch and give him a good send off. The kids do, too. It puts a smile on his face and makes him feel the love, baby! He works hard to keep us home and I want him to know beyond any doubt that I appreciate it! I have noticed that he is disappointed the times I stay up late and doze in, so I make every effort not to. I would feel lonely leaving for work from a quiet house and no send-off, too. It's much nicer to leave amidst hugs and kisses and cheerful choruses of "Goodbye, Daddy!" If I am up, that happens. I read your other post, and have to say I know exactly where your dh is coming from. My dh has trouble sleeping and is a night owl.... I confess that was the only consistent area of friction for us for many years. I have adjusted to it somewhat, though I still don't like his night owly ways. (However, I don't resent them like I used to!:tongue_smilie:) :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staci in MO Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 My husband gets up between 4:30 and 5:00 (depending on whether he decides to run or not), and leaves for work about 5:45. I get up around 5:30 to drink a cup of coffee with him and chat for a minute before he leaves. He hasn't always left this early. He took this job three years ago, and I chose to get up with him then. I did this because when I worked I hated getting up and leaving while everyone was still asleep. I think it's terribly depressing, and I didn't want him to have him do it every morning. On Saturdays, he leaves before 7 am for Bible Study. He's on his own on Saturdays. I sleep in. :) He has continually expressed how much he appreciates this. We don't get to talk a lot, but it's nice to have a few words in the morning when he's at his best and the kids aren't around. Then, when he leaves, I have plenty of time to do what I want to do before the kids wake up. I'm a night owl by nature, so this is hard for me. I had to completely change my thinking. I used to get my alone time at night after everyone else went to bed. Now I make myself go to bed, and look forward to my alone time in the morning. I still stay up too late sometimes, but not as often. And it's relative. Now staying up too late is staying up until midnight. It used to mean staying up until three. I've really come to treasure my quiet mornings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.