How to change your outlook

[Kidlit]

Life has been very heavy for me lately. I recognize I have a very depressed/negative outlook.  Besides medication (which I have no problem with, as needed), what have you done to see the world and your life more positively?  I'd like to hit this from all sides. 

[Amoret]

If you are interested in trying things like meditation, living in the present moment, and increasing your awareness of the beauty of the world around you, you might check out some of the work by Thich Nhat Hanh. He was a Buddhist monk from Vietnam who was exiled during the war and spent most of his later life in France. His books are very accessible and even reading them is meditative.

[Kidlit]

Just now, Amoret said:

If you are interested in trying things like meditation, living in the present moment, and increasing your awareness of the beauty of the world around you, you might check out some of the work by Thich Nhat Hanh. He was a Buddhist monk from Vietnam who was exiled during the war and spent most of his later life in France. His books are very accessible and even reading them is meditative.

Thank you.  I actually read a quote by him yesterday.  I will look into this. 

[Rosie_0801]

I read Terry Pratchett books, especially the witches. He has a way of reminding readers that while life is weird, there is room for everyone in this world, even the guy with a duck on his head who doesn't know he has a duck on his head. 

You might not find this as profoundly comforting as I do, but hey, maybe you will.

((hugs))

[Katy]

Exercise, preferably a morning walk along water & trees close to sunrise & without sunglasses. 

Exercise, short high intensity for a burst of good hormones. It could be something as easy as 10 frog jumps. 

Avoid things designed to cause unnecessary fear & stress like TV news. 

Eat enough carbs to make enough serotonin. Bonus points for resistant starches or complex fibers that feed good bacteria in your gut. This can be simple like baking & cooling potatoes and eating them reheated later in the week. Or complex like green smoothies with green leafy vegetables, berries, and using pitted dates for sweetening. 

Do things that shock your body’s hot or cold senses. This could be a sauna or hot bath, a cold shower or a cold plunge. Basically anything that shocks your body into sucking your breath in & holding it. This releases heat & cold shock proteins that lower inflammation and increase happiness. 

Anything anti-inflammatory will help. Berries, high-antioxidant varieties of apples (Ambrosia, Honeycrisp, Red delicious), curries or any other recipe containing large amounts of turmeric, ginger, and garlic or supplements of those 3. Omega 3 foods or supplements especially ground flax or ground chia seeds. 
 

ETA: oh yeah, reading fiction that you like for 15 minutes a day lowers cortisol as much as prayer or meditation. 

Edited April 27, 2023 by Katy

[Kidlit]

Thanks, @Rosie_0801. I do find this suggestion helpful!  Sometimes I get so in my head that I find it hard to read (& reading is one of the few constants in my life!  I mean, I'm a librarian! 🤣). This is a great reminder that making the effort is worthwhile!  And I DO need to give Pratchett a try!  Which novel do you recommend as a good first experience?

[Kidlit]

1 minute ago, Katy said:

Exercise, preferably a morning walk along water & trees close to sunrise & without sunglasses. 

Exercise, short high intensity for a burst of good hormones. It could be something as easy as 10 frog jumps. 

Avoid things designed to cause unnecessary fear & stress like TV news. 

Eat enough carbs to make enough serotonin. Bonus points for resistant starches or complex fibers that feed good bacteria in your gut. This can be simple like baking & cooling potatoes and eating them reheated later in the week. Or complex like green smoothies with green leafy vegetables, berries, and using pitted dates for sweetening. 

Do things that shock your body’s hot or cold senses. This could be a sauna or hot bath, a cold shower or a cold plunge. Basically anything that shocks your body into sucking your breath in & holding it. This releases heat & cold shock proteins that lower inflammation and increase happiness. 

Anything anti-inflammatory will help. Berries, high-antioxidant varieties of apples (Ambrosia, Honeycrisp, Red delicious), curries or any other recipe containing large amounts of turmeric, ginger, and garlic or supplements of those 3. Omega 3 foods or supplements especially ground flax or ground chia seeds. 

THANK YOU!  I love a list!  I'm going to screenshot this. 
 

I have been working out (weights, mostly) with a personal trainer two days a week (not enough, but all the budget allows).  I can often push through and make myself also take a 2 mi walk with an audiobook, but so far this week I haven't been able to do that.   I ALWAYS feel better after my weight training, though. 

[ScoutTN]

Cardio exercise and time outside are huge for me. 

And reading some enjoyable fiction!! 

[lauraw4321]

Laughing for a sustained amount of time. Parent text fails always work for me. 

[ScoutTN]

22 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

I read Terry Pratchett books, especially the witches. He has a way of reminding readers that while life is weird, there is room for everyone in this world, even the guy with a duck on his head who doesn't know he has a duck on his head. 

You might not find this as profoundly comforting as I do, but hey, maybe you will.

((hugs))

♥️ Wee Free Men. 😎

[Rosie_0801]

24 minutes ago, Kidlit said:

Thanks, @Rosie_0801. I do find this suggestion helpful!  Sometimes I get so in my head that I find it hard to read (& reading is one of the few constants in my life!  I mean, I'm a librarian! 🤣). This is a great reminder that making the effort is worthwhile!  And I DO need to give Pratchett a try!  Which novel do you recommend as a good first experience?

Oh, any except the first two. 

[Scarlett]

Along the lines of Rosie’s suggestion….maybe don’t sweat the small stuff and most of it is small stuff.  
 

I remember years ago when I worked for a furniture manufacturer some of my accounts had god complexes.  I mean, seriously they would flip their lids if a truck was delayed.  I remember one of my superiors telling me, ‘It is furniture.  Nobody died, it is just furniture’.

And then my boss at the auto body repair shop. My floorboards were full of water and I cried for 4 hours straight before I was able to get my boss to look at it the next morning.  When I told him I cried for 4 hours he looked at me shocked and said, ‘Scarlett!  It is a hunk of metal! Not worth tears!’

Years later  he was rarely there and had turned it over to a manager.  This manager did not handle the stress of running a business very well.  One day when he was particularly stressed I told him, ‘well, you know what owner says, they are just hunks of metal. “. That was on a Friday and he told me Monday morning that really helped him put things in to perspective. 

[Kidlit]

1 minute ago, Scarlett said:

Along the lines of Rosie’s suggestion….maybe don’t sweat the small stuff and most of it is small stuff.  
 

I remember years ago when I worked for a furniture manufacturer some of my accounts had god complexes.  I mean, seriously they would flip their lids if a truck was delayed.  I remember one of my superiors telling me, ‘It is furniture.  Nobody died, it is just furniture’.

And then my boss at the auto body repair shop. My floorboards were full of water and I cried for 4 hours straight before I was able to get my boss to look at it the next morning.  When I told him I cried for 4 hours he looked at me shocked and said, ‘Scarlett!  It is a hunk of metal! Not worth tears!’

Years later  he was rarely there and had turned it over to a manager.  This manager did not handle the stress of running a business very well.  One day when he was particularly stressed I told him, ‘well, you know what owner says, they are just hunks of metal. “. That was on a Friday and he told me Monday morning that really helped him put things in to perspective. 

So true.  This reminds me of Julie Bogart's "There's no such thing as an educational emergency."

[Scarlett]

1 minute ago, Kidlit said:

So true.  This reminds me of Julie Bogart's "There's no such thing as an educational emergency."

Ha.  Or my BIL who owns a septic tank cleaning business….he says there is no such thing as a septic emergency.

[Kidlit]

3 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Ha.  Or my BIL who owns a septic tank cleaning business….he says there is no such thing as a septic emergency.

I bet his customers have a difference of opinion! 🤣🤣🤣

[Teaching3bears]

Cognitive Behavioral therapy is intended to do just that.

‘Also, spend time in nature, exercise, eat healthy, do what makes you laugh, whether spending time with friends or watching something funny.

[Toocrazy!!]

I watch no news, and read fluffy romance novels! I hadn't heard that line above about 15 minutes of fiction, but that makes sense to me. Exercise is key as well. Always makes me feel better. I try to control my environment to be as uplifting and least stressful as I can. Even my TikTok feed is now mostly full of babies, dogs, and wedding proposals! 

I think with age, I really have just realized most things are out of my control, and my worry will do nothing but make me sick. I try hard to control what I can, and let the rest go. 

[Kidlit]

5 minutes ago, Teaching3bears said:

Cognitive Behavioral therapy is intended to do just that.

‘Also, spend time in nature, exercise, eat healthy, do what makes you laugh, whether spending time with friends or watching something funny.

Thanks!  I've had a grand total something like 5 different counselors over the years (maybe more!), and because I'm well-versed in mental health *talk* (& I'm very verbal), I think they have all more or less assumed I have it covered.  It's not the KNOWING, it's the DOING that I need help with. 😩

[Carol in Cal.]

Forcing myself to write down 5 things I am thankful for every single day.

It’s weird that this works.  Just thinking of them doesn’t.   But thinking of them and writing them down does.

[Kidlit]

1 minute ago, Carol in Cal. said:

Forcing myself to write down 5 things I am thankful for every single day.

It’s weird that this works.  Just thinking of them doesn’t.   But thinking of them and writing them down does.

I'm going to try this--not just THINK, DO. 

[Kassia]

17 minutes ago, Carol in Cal. said:

Forcing myself to write down 5 things I am thankful for every single day.

It’s weird that this works.  Just thinking of them doesn’t.   But thinking of them and writing them down does.

 

15 minutes ago, Kidlit said:

I'm going to try this--not just THINK, DO. 

A friend of mine has done this for many many years.  She has been through some really tough times and has always had such a positive outlook and says this helps a lot.

[KidsHappen]

oops - wrong thread

Edited April 27, 2023 by KidsHappen

[SKL]

When something really annoying / bad happens, I think of how this could be spun funny in a sitcom.

Listening to beautiful music helps.

Be in nature, still and observant.

Yoga helps.

Sleep, if you don't already get the right amount.

Eating better, including vitamins / supplements as applicable.

A "just do it" / "just start" attitude to to-dos piling up.

Cutting screens.

Intentionally switching focus to what's going well.

Edited April 27, 2023 by SKL

[Resilient]

5 hours ago, Kidlit said:

So true.  This reminds me of Julie Bogart's "There's no such thing as an educational emergency."

One of my consistent thoughts has been along those lines:  "I refuse to have a ____ emergency." Like furniture shipping, or getting the last wall painted, or having the right shoes for the wedding. These things CAN stress me out.  But really...not an emergency.  

The furniture will get here; you have somewhere else to sit. The wall will get painted when your back feels better.  The couple will end up married even if you wear your ridiculous Birks to the wedding.  (gasp)

I still do not have this perfected; trust me. But it helps.  Other things: exercise, and SOME of it has to be outside.  Nature is healing.

The other thing that helps is realizing that there's just a lot of stuff you have zero control over.  Adult children for one. Sigh. And that starts a lot younger than you think it does. You can't fix what you don't have a say in.  Heck, I can't fix things in myself that I DO have a say in.  That part about eating right? Yeah...I'll start that right after I down these 4000 tater tots. 

And if I'm just blue, a good binge watch of Michael McIntyre usually gets me a little less blue.  

 

[mommyoffive]

I am a  stress eater.

Time outside the more the better.  The deeper into nature and not around people or cars the better.

Time with friends to vent and hear other about other people's lives

Taking care of me.  Binge watching TV shows or Youtube.  Reading.  

Having time where I just am not talking or listening to anyone or thing.  Just listening to the wind and deep breathing.

[Selkie]

These are the things that have worked for me (YMMV):

Full disclosure: I have a brain wired for anxiety and OCD and do not take any medications.

Excellent nutrition has been key for my physical and mental wellbeing. When I started focusing on high nutrient density whole plant foods, it changed my brain. I began feeling waves of happiness that I hadn't experienced before. I recently read about studies that show these foods cause beneficial changes in the gut microbiome that specifically affect happiness, so I guess that explains it. Plus, the physical changes - being much lighter now, having tons of energy, and no more aches and pains - makes me happy all day long.

Another key for me is doing physical work outside, all year round, no matter what's happening with the weather. I'm up early every morning caring for my horses, and then do a few more rounds of chores throughout the day. Being outside in the early morning is blissful for me, even in the dead of winter. I think humans are meant to spend a lot of time outside moving their bodies.

And lastly, over the past several months I have focused on finding people (both online and IRL) with a positive, uplifting vibe. There's way too much negativity and complaining in the world and it really drags me down. Surrounding myself with people who have a positive outlook and are working hard to improve themselves and do great things for the world has added lots of enjoyment to my life.  

Edited April 27, 2023 by Selkie

[knitgrl]

I am awaiting my third round of treatment for breast cancer. All the while, I thought, well, this is what's happening now. But the thing is, this is not what is going to be happening forever. It is a passing speed bump.

[Kassia]

@knitgrl I liked your post because of your attitude - definitely not because of your third treatment.  Wishing you all the best .  ❤️

[kathyl]

10 hours ago, Kidlit said:

Life has been very heavy for me lately. I recognize I have a very depressed/negative outlook.  Besides medication (which I have no problem with, as needed), what have you done to see the world and your life more positively?  I'd like to hit this from all sides. 

Reframe my thinking maybe?  For example, when our dc were growing up my dh worked very long hours, gone before the dc were up and home after they were in bed a lot of the time.  I used to be very annoyed about it for a long time.  Until one day, I realized that this was my life and there wasn't a whole lot I could change (ie. dh).  So I stepped back and began to think about what that meant for me, personally.  At that point, I remembered what it felt like to be a single parent when my oldest (from my 1st marriage) was young.  Especially what it felt like to be alone with him and no one else to depend on.  I was all he had, for the most part.  And that's when I reframed my thinking about my life.  I began to think of myself as a single mom with 5 little kids.  From there, I slowly worked out the changes I wanted to make in my life (and my dc's lives) in order to enjoy life vs dreading it.  And I just did it.  

Fwiw, I tend to avoid the positive/negative labels for myself when I can.  I mean, when the oncologist told me I had 2 different kinds of cancer you better believe I cried and got terrified I was dying and a bunch of other emotions.  But those are normal responses to news like that, IMHO.  Not something I needed to work on changing.  I just rode it out, went through the emotions and kept on living the life I had. 

And when I was lying on the couch being very upset thinking about the upcoming surgery, it suddenly hit me that I didn't feel sick.  In fact, nothing hurt and I didn't feel any different than I did before I found out about the cancer.  So I got up and did what I always did every morning.  I went to the gym and ran errands.  Kind of like knitgrl said above, this is not what's going to be happening forever. 

Sorry for rambling.  I hope you find something soon that works for you.

 

[gardenmom5]

I grew up in a very negative family.  and some genetic predispositions to depression.

 

anyway.  I gave myself a challenge of listing one thing each day for which I was grateful. It had to be something of substance.  not the beauty queen joke answer of what do they wish for: "world peace".

when there was a challenge (this one is harder), I had to name one thing for which to be grateful.  e.g. flat tire. (we've had several in 40 years).  at least it was after we got off the freeway.  at least it wasn't raining. or at least we left early so we have time.  or dark.  at least the spare had enough air in it (I was taking off with kids for a seven hour drive and dh made sure all my tires had plenty of air. Including the spare, which was low.).  or yesterday - I had the impression to toss my roadside emergency kit back in the car even though it was full of stroller and cooler, etc.   1dgs wanted to break grandma's car (I understand this was my punishment for inadvertently awakening him.).  2dd did grab him as he was playing with things, but we missed he had turned knobs.  Like the knob for the lights . . . . I saw running lights were on, but I couldn't figure out why (I keep my headlights on an automatic setting, I almost never think of them anymore). Glad I had jumper cables in my car.

and . . . we studied the parable of the good Samaritan in sunday school last week. How timely.  I lived it yesterday.  we were in a big open parking lot with even larger open area around us.  Dd went off to find someone to jump the car. There was the couple who saw dd approach them and quickly walked away.  The guy who was "too busy".  then there was the young immigrant woman with a beater car . . . who took the five or ten minutes tops that was needed, helped.  

[klmama]

When realize my mood is in the wrong place, I know I need to eat better, take my vitamins, etc.  Sleep.  Connect with friends.  Pray.  Get out of my house to see the sun and animals in my backyard.  Walk the dog and run into neighbors who adore her and will talk to me.  Go to the library and see that the rest of the world is going about their lives just fine -- and so can I.  

[Jaybee]

4 hours ago, Selkie said:

Excellent nutrition has been key for my physical and mental wellbeing. When I started focusing on high nutrient density whole plant foods, it changed my brain. I began feeling waves of happiness that I hadn't experienced before. I recently read about studies that show these foods cause beneficial changes in the gut microbiome that specifically affect happiness, so I guess that explains it. Plus, the physical changes - being much lighter now, having tons of energy, and no more aches and pains - makes me happy all day long.

I feel like my weight and my eating habits are affecting me horribly right now. I have a bit of an Eeyore personality anyway. But I'm having great difficulty in changing my habits. Selkie, if you have a basic meal plan you follow or something like that, would you mind sending me a pm with some information? Part of my difficulty is that I eat vegetables because they are good for me, but not because I really like them that much (though I do like some of them sometimes). And it is making a revamp really hard.😐 THAT is coloring my outlook a lot these days.

[Kidlit]

4 hours ago, Selkie said:

These are the things that have worked for me (YMMV):

Full disclosure: I have a brain wired for anxiety and OCD and do not take any medications.

Excellent nutrition has been key for my physical and mental wellbeing. When I started focusing on high nutrient density whole plant foods, it changed my brain. I began feeling waves of happiness that I hadn't experienced before. I recently read about studies that show these foods cause beneficial changes in the gut microbiome that specifically affect happiness, so I guess that explains it. Plus, the physical changes - being much lighter now, having tons of energy, and no more aches and pains - makes me happy all day long.

Another key for me is doing physical work outside, all year round, no matter what's happening with the weather. I'm up early every morning caring for my horses, and then do a few more rounds of chores throughout the day. Being outside in the early morning is blissful for me, even in the dead of winter. I think humans are meant to spend a lot of time outside moving their bodies.

And lastly, over the past several months I have focused on finding people (both online and IRL) with a positive, uplifting vibe. There's way too much negativity and complaining in the world and it really drags me down. Surrounding myself with people who have a positive outlook and are working hard to improve themselves and do great things for the world has added lots of enjoyment to my life.  

I've always been so amazed by your diet, @Selkie!  Like @Jaybee, I'm interested to hear about your basic plan.  Even more, I'm interested to know how you SOURCE all those delicious veggies!

[Kidlit]

Thanks to all who have responded.  I feel like I need to just come read this thread every day to remind me of what I DO have control over!

[Junie]

22 minutes ago, Kidlit said:

Thanks to all who have responded.  I feel like I need to just come read this thread every day to remind me of what I DO have control over!

Same. This thread has been really helpful for me, too.

[BeachGal]

You might find something helpful in Richard Davidson's book The Emotional Life of Your Brain which discusses the six physical neural circuits, all continuums, that control much of how we perceive and experience life. He also writes about the studies his labs have done to alter those circuits using specific methods and thus helping people make changes for the better. Davidson has done a lot of work in this area.

Diet and lifestyle can also affect how you feel. A good diet of course. Time with nature. Good sleep. A support network. I fast from Sunday after dinner to Tuesday lunch for the benefit of autophagy but have found that it makes me feel very good probably because fasting causes the gut to produce more beta hydroxybutyrate.

https://www.foundmyfitness.com/topics/beta-hydroxybutyrate

I don’t know if you feel depressed or anxious at times but in some people more vitamin B6 might be helpful. Some people also need more choline, vitamin C or D. Fermented food. A finger prick blood test to check omega 3 index could be worthwhile, too. Most people are not in an optimal range and the result is poor health due to inflammation. Diet tweaks can improve it.

Reading about religion and philosophy has helped me develop ways to view situations in life.

[Emba]

On 4/27/2023 at 8:10 AM, Kidlit said:

Thanks, @Rosie_0801. I do find this suggestion helpful!  Sometimes I get so in my head that I find it hard to read (& reading is one of the few constants in my life!  I mean, I'm a librarian! 🤣). This is a great reminder that making the effort is worthwhile!  And I DO need to give Pratchett a try!  Which novel do you recommend as a good first experience?

Not Rosie, clearly, but I’ve been on a Discworld kick lately. I do like the witches books, but there are also a couple (at least) with Death as a major character that I’ve really enjoyed. Reaper Man was one of them.

Edited April 28, 2023 by Emba

[Emba]

I used to be very pessimistic and negative. Now I’m much more optimistic about life and things on general, even though the problemas I deal with/have had to deal with in my 30’s and up are much worse than what I dealt with in my teens and 20’s.

 Party of it was realizing that negativity feeds on itself and spirals. When I feel let myself spiraling into negativity I had to forcibly stop and think more positive thoughts, in ways mentioned above (gratitude, appreciation of the moment, looking for the good, etc).

 Also I have a tendency to perfectionism. So I would not want to make improvements unless I was going whole hog. Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. (This was often quoted by Gretchen Rubin in her blog called The Happiness Project that helped me a lot. Don’t know if it’s still there but she also has a book by the same name that you should be able to find used, at least).  Five minutes of exercise that you do is better than planning to do thirty minutes every day but never getting to it. And sometimes if you start intending to do five minutes, you might do fifteen or twenty once you just get started.  Making some small, consistent diet changes does more good than two weeks of diet overhaul that you don’t stick with.

[Selkie]

16 hours ago, Jaybee said:

I feel like my weight and my eating habits are affecting me horribly right now. I have a bit of an Eeyore personality anyway. But I'm having great difficulty in changing my habits. Selkie, if you have a basic meal plan you follow or something like that, would you mind sending me a pm with some information? Part of my difficulty is that I eat vegetables because they are good for me, but not because I really like them that much (though I do like some of them sometimes). And it is making a revamp really hard.😐 THAT is coloring my outlook a lot these days.

I was in the same boat several years ago - I was just so sick and tired of being heavy with all kinds of health complaints (rosacea, achy joints, etc.). I had gotten the book How Not to Die by Dr. Michael Greger, but left it sitting unread on my bookshelf for a few months. One day I opened it and started reading, and made the decision right then and there to stop messing around with my health and make it my #1 priority. Dh and I went WFPB that day.

You are right, eating habits are hard to change, especially when you are making a major change. There are the physical aspects - so many unhealthy foods are addictive (and designed to be that way by the food industry). I was hooked on sugary, salty, fatty foods. Also, while this didn't happen to me, some people feel unwell for a week or two as their bodies detox from their previous diet. And then there are the psychological aspects, like finding a replacement for emotional eating, and resisting peer pressure (because unfortunately, in our society, there can be a lot of pressure to eat unhealthy foods).

So yeah, it can be tough at the very beginning. BUT once you get through the short rough patch, you start to feel amazingly well - like the best you have ever felt in your entire life (at least that's what happened to me, dh, and lots of others I know). 

Watching the Forks Over Knives documentary can be very helpful for people interested in a WFPB diet. Also, the Forks Over Knives site is a great resource. It's got everything - recipes and cooking tips, articles about health and wellness, inspiring testimonials from people who've made the change, etc. Here is a link to their Beginner's Guide:

https://www.forksoverknives.com/how-tos/plant-based-primer-beginners-guide-starting-plant-based-diet/

The Forks Over Knives Facebook groups are a great place for newcomers to find support as well.

There are also a few books that were instrumental in solidifying my resolve:

Eat For Life by Dr. Joel Fuhrman

https://www.amazon.com/Eat-Life-Breakthrough-Nutrient-Rich-Longevity-ebook/dp/B07QLDLR2H/ref=sr_1_2?crid=RFVQG2JUVQSH&keywords=joel+fuhrman&qid=1682708919&sprefix=joel+fuhrman%2Caps%2C151&sr=8-2

The China Study by T. Colin Campbell

https://www.amazon.com/China-Study-Comprehensive-Nutrition-Implications-ebook/dp/B01LYGP469/ref=sr_1_1?crid=26322DR5MACLN&keywords=the+china+study&qid=1682708970&sprefix=the+china+study%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1

How Not to Die by Dr. Michael Greger

https://www.amazon.com/How-Not-Die-Discover-Scientifically-ebook/dp/B00Y7USB14/ref=sr_1_1?crid=C6N5HJ8AVX09&keywords=how+not+to+die&qid=1682709073&sprefix=how+not+to+die%2Caps%2C157&sr=8-1

Oh, and one more thing - about not liking vegetables. My tastebuds have changed so dramatically that it is crazy. I never in my life would have imagined that I would enjoy eating dark leafy greens, completely plain with no dressing - but here I am! Dh is the same. (Not that you need to avoid dressing on a WFPB diet - we just enjoy eating greens plain some of the time). I disliked fruit for several decades of my life, but now I can hardly wait to have my bowl of fruit every morning. My tastebuds were so dulled by many years of sugary, salty, fatty foods that the flavors of some plants used to be unpleasant or just totally lost on me. But about three weeks in, they all started to taste amazing - and now the unhealthy stuff I used to crave tastes nasty. It's really been an interesting little science experiment to see what happened when I started giving my body all the nutrients it had been missing.

Good luck! I hope it works out for you. Feel free to ask me any other questions you may have. I'm always happy to help!🙂

[Alice]

I've had a very hard past couple of years for a variety of reasons.  A lot of the things here are good suggestions but when things are toughest, sometimes a long list of things just makes me feel overwhelmed, even when it's all stuff I know is helpful.

I realized in the fall that the things that are the key for me and I try now to do regularly..

1) Move my body in some way. This could be very minor, I don't specify any goals. Just something. (I do have exercise goals but when I'm going through a slump I just keep it very simple and low pressure. A ten minute walk or stretching for ten minutes. Usually if I start I feel better and do more but I tell myself I only have to do a tiny bit).  

2) Community. This is harder but I try really hard to have something on the calendar to look forward to doing with other people other than my husband and kids...or something special with them. I am very much an introvert and when I feel down I withdraw even more and it's not healthy for me. 

3) Read something. I realized that for me this is the thing that makes me feel the most like myself. And is also the thing that I stop doing when I'm feeling down. Again, no goals for times or pages or what to read...just read something. 

The other thing that has helped me when I'm feeling down or overwhelmed because I am a listmaking person and checking things off helps me feel good...is to give myself three things to do everyday. These can be VERY basic, and may be things that I don't actually have much of a  choice about or are going to happen (like go to work or shower). Before I go to sleep I think about three good things from the day and the three things I want to do the next day. And that just gives me an anchor. And at the end of the day I feel like I've accomplished something even if it's very basic things. It's kind of tricking my brain into feeling like I'm energetic and productive...which then makes me feel energetic and productive. 

[math teacher]

I just have to say I think this thread is amazing!!

[Selkie]

20 hours ago, Kidlit said:

I've always been so amazed by your diet, @Selkie!  Like @Jaybee, I'm interested to hear about your basic plan.  Even more, I'm interested to know how you SOURCE all those delicious veggies!

The basics of our WFPB diet are readily available at our local grocery store or from Misfits Market. I’m picky about my greens, so I get those directly from a grower.

Some of my other favorite sources are

nuts.com - raw nuts and seeds, unsweetened dried fruit, whole grains, legumes

Palousebrand.com - bulk legumes

ranchogordo.com - unusual/fancy schmancy legumes

 

[GailV]

On 4/27/2023 at 8:07 AM, Rosie_0801 said:

I read Terry Pratchett books, especially the witches. He has a way of reminding readers that while life is weird, there is room for everyone in this world, even the guy with a duck on his head who doesn't know he has a duck on his head. 

You might not find this as profoundly comforting as I do, but hey, maybe you will.

((hugs))

I think I read somewhere that Terry Pratchett dealt with his anger and depression about his Alzheimer's by writing. He really wasn't a happy-go-lucky guy at all.

It's interesting to me how many of us turn to his writing to find comfort for our own issues considering that he wrote to cope with his problems. I've been reading some books on Tibetan Buddhism, and it sort of reminds me of the concept of going so deeply into your neurosis that you find the wisdom and value in it.

[Rosie_0801]

5 minutes ago, GailV said:

I think I read somewhere that Terry Pratchett dealt with his anger and depression about his Alzheimer's by writing. He really wasn't a happy-go-lucky guy at all.

It always surprises me when people think he was. They are humorous, not frivolous books.

[Eos]

I wouldn't wish this on anyone nor recommend it, but it's what changed me: having a daughter diagnosed with an incurable chronic disease completely changed my outlook.  The first 6 weeks after her diagnosis dh and I just cried until she asked us not to anymore.  Then I started doing a whole bunch of bargaining-stage-of-grief activities like getting her diagnosed with allergies and taking her to various bodyworkers to try to impact the disease.  After about a year of this, I slowly gave it up.  A few years later I realized my low-grade and sometimes very high-grade depression had lifted.  Like nothing else that was hard about my life really mattered compared to what she was dealing with and will deal with forever.

I am not telling you this for any other reason than to share what was a very weird realization for me.

[Kassia]

@Eos I'm so sorry.  

[Ottakee]

On 4/27/2023 at 9:13 AM, Kidlit said:

THANK YOU!  I love a list!  I'm going to screenshot this. 
 

I have been working out (weights, mostly) with a personal trainer two days a week (not enough, but all the budget allows).  I can often push through and make myself also take a 2 mi walk with an audiobook, but so far this week I haven't been able to do that.   I ALWAYS feel better after my weight training, though. 

Do you have a Planet Fitness near you?  Ours has an awesome trainer and even with the $10/month membership you can take unlimited classes.  A friend and I do at least 3 a week so at 12 or more a month for $10 that is super affordable…..less than $1 per class.

[Ottakee]

I agree with exercise, outside is great as much as you can.

Another idea is to volunteer in some form, either in a regular basis or even one time things.  Helping others/a cause you believe in can really help your own mindset.