Kid names

[Elizabeth86]

I am curious if you have ever regretted what you named any of your kids?

Pregnant lady struggles over here. I mentioned to dh the other night that he can use a name I HATE for the middle name(he has mentioned for the first name for all 3 boys) if I can choose the first name. Lol I just imagine people asking his name and me saying it and then explaining away the awful middle name. I just don’t want to do that ya know? But then again, who cares about middle names? Right?

[teachermom2834]

I don’t think you need to explain away an awful middle name! I’ve heard or seen some really unusual middle names and just thought to myself “there is a story there”.  A middle name is a great place to compromise 🙂

[Elizabeth86]

1 minute ago, teachermom2834 said:

I don’t think you need to explain away an awful middle name! I’ve heard or seen some really unusual middle names and just thought to myself “there is a story there”.  A middle name is a great place to compromise 🙂

Right? I know I wouldn’t need to explain it, but I’d just think I probably would. Lol I felt I didn’t love my first son’s middle name and I’ve found myself saying to people that we chose it due to dh’ late brother. 

[Kareni]

Q: "What is your son's name?"

A: "Max Horace Lastname. I've always liked the name Max, and Horace is a name my husband favored."

Regards,

Kareni

[Jean in Newcastle]

Do people really tell other people their middle names or that of their kids?  Other than on an official form?  

[Scarlett]

2 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Do people really tell other people their middle names or that of their kids?  Other than on an official form?  

All of the time.

[Scarlett]

50 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

I am curious if you have ever regretted what you named any of your kids?

Pregnant lady struggles over here. I mentioned to dh the other night that he can use a name I HATE for the middle name(he has mentioned for the first name for all 3 boys) if I can choose the first name. Lol I just imagine people asking his name and me saying it and then explaining away the awful middle name. I just don’t want to do that ya know? But then again, who cares about middle names? Right?

Is it really worth it to have a middle name you hate just to get the first name you want?

[Storygirl]

I don't regret DD17's name choice, but if I could go back, I would choose differently. My kids were adopted, and we kept part of their original name as their middle name. She doesn't like her middle name, and I wish we'd chosen her other birth name, instead. We've told her that we don't mind if she changes it someday legally. Not sure that she will bother.

DH and I didn't agree on all of the names when we were choosing. We had a kind of "it takes one person to veto and two to agree" policy. There are so many names, that we just kept discussing, until we found ones that we both liked.

[Tanaqui]

What will you do if your child grows up and decides he prefers to go by I. Middle Lastname instead of First I. Lastname?

If you absolutely hate this scenario, I suggest you pick something else. It is uncommon to go by a middle name, but it's hardly unheard of.

[Kassia]

That's a tough one.  Since we don't use middle names other than on forms (as mentioned above) I would go for it to get the first name you like and keep DH happy.  

I regret one first name out of my four kids and two middle names.  The middle name regret is only because two of my kids have meaningful middle names and the other two don't.  DH and I both wish we had chosen meaningful middle names for all four kids.

[Elizabeth86]

1 hour ago, Kareni said:

Q: "What is your son's name?"

A: "Max Horace Lastname. I've always liked the name Max, and Horace is a name my husband favored."

Regards,

Kareni

Love this!

[Elizabeth86]

1 hour ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Do people really tell other people their middle names or that of their kids?  Other than on an official form?  

Well, when you have a new baby.

[Elizabeth86]

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

Is it really worth it to have a middle name you hate just to get the first name you want?

No, but dh really doesn’t have any other name on his list. He actually just has 2 names. Bad and worse. Lol

[Elizabeth86]

1 hour ago, Tanaqui said:

What will you do if your child grows up and decides he prefers to go by I. Middle Lastname instead of First I. Lastname?

If you absolutely hate this scenario, I suggest you pick something else. It is uncommon to go by a middle name, but it's hardly unheard of.

Well, if he has accepted it, that would be fine by me. It’s just I can’t imagine any one would embrace it. Lol

[Elizabeth86]

1 hour ago, Kassia said:

That's a tough one.  Since we don't use middle names other than on forms (as mentioned above) I would go for it to get the first name you like and keep DH happy.  

I regret one first name out of my four kids and two middle names.  The middle name regret is only because two of my kids have meaningful middle names and the other two don't.  DH and I both wish we had chosen meaningful middle names for all four kids.

2 of our kids have meaningful family middle names too and two don’t also. So funny.

Edited October 19, 2022 by Elizabeth86

[Hilltopmom]

I didn’t name any of my adopted kids and wouldn’t have chosen the middle names they have. But we don’t believe in changing birth names so we kept them. 
It doesn’t bother me even though I don’t love the names. It’s the child that matters, not the name.

[lmrich]

Nope  - I think I  gave my kids' great names - both first and middle names. They all have a Christmas-y theme  (oldest was due on Christmas day) and recognize an ancestor. 

A friend of a friend has boys who are named - Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Harrison. 

 

[Elizabeth86]

27 minutes ago, Hilltopmom said:

I didn’t name any of my adopted kids and wouldn’t have chosen the middle names they have. But we don’t believe in changing birth names so we kept them. 
It doesn’t bother me even though I don’t love the names. It’s the child that matters, not the name.

❤️

[freesia]

Is anyone else dying to know what the name is??? 😂 

[BusyMom5]

I dont think I usually tell people my kids middle names- and when I call them 2 names, its rarely their actual middle name!  Their real First Middle names all sound very nice, but for some reason I end up with a different combo once they hit the toddler years!  

[Terabith]

We told people both names when they were first born, but after that, it was pretty much only for forms.  

Of course, then my oldest changed their name anyway.  <shrug>

[Lecka]

We ended up not caring for my oldest son’s middle name.  We just never use it.  We never tell “the story of his middle name” and making it sound special.  It doesn’t come up, honestly.  
 

My other two kids have special middle names and we do say fond things about their middle names.  
 

But my oldest son’s first name is special to us, so he still has a special name, too.  
 

We were pressured on a “family” middle name by my in-laws, and we just aren’t on good terms with them and don’t care to emphasize it as a family name.  
 

I am fine with it as a name, though I wouldn’t have picked this spelling.  I would be fine if my son used this name.  It would not be to make a family connection — that is what I don’t like about the name, not the actual name.  
 

I like the name more now then when my son was younger, now that he is older I think he would be a fit for his middle name.  
 

My oldest son is not a fan of his name, I think he has a point, I don’t think my husband and I considered what his experience of having the name would be.  We just thought about how we liked the name.  It’s not a common name.  
 

One of my kids had a nickname I really didn’t like, and it turned out it really grew on me because she really liked it when she was little.  But she got older and switched to her full name, and then I missed the nickname.  
 

So I’m not very consistent.  

[Lecka]

I agreed to a middle name for my daughter and then while I was in the hospital I said I couldn’t do it, and my husband changed to what I wanted since I was in the hospital.  We have one baby placard with that middle name.  I hated it but now I don’t see what the problem was.  But I like the family connection!

 

It was a change from Marie (seems fine now, but just a random name) to Elizabeth (the middle name of my grandmother and the first name of my step-dad’s mother).  

[Guest]

I would not give my kid a name I hate, even in the middle. I would use the middle for a name I’m neutral about, but not that I HATE. 
 

I had a thing I did; call it prayer or call it asking the universe, but I would meditate on, “What is this child’s name?” And there would be a first and middle name that felt “right” and then dh would also feel it was “right”. And that was the child’s name. Incidentally, the name I felt was right was also the gender, even if I did not know the gender. The alternate gender name did not have the same feeling of rightness. 
 

I do not regret any names. AFAIK, the kids like their names too. 
 

One of my SIL’s gave her kid a name to appease someone else and then nicknamed the kid the name she wanted. I do not think this was a good solution, because it has puzzled people for the kid’s whole life and “the story” is dredged up again and again when people say (not the real name), “Your name is Charles Worthington Johnson IV but you go by Tyler? Why?” And there are surely bad feelings that are being stirred up again and again whenever she resentfully is reminded that she did not choose the name she wanted. Even three decades later it still upsets her. 
 

My husband did have a name he liked that was a no-way for me. I turned it down four times. If he wants to use that name he can give it to a dog. 

[HomeAgain]

I'm not a fan of my youngest's name.  DH and I had an agreement that we each would get our way on a significant issue in regards to ds, and his was the name.  It's not a popular one, but a major literary character has it and, well, I'm really not a fan of the character at all.

Some interesting quirks did come about along with it.  The kid goes by a very different nickname, but similar character attributes of his real name.  When we looked it up, we realized that the meaning of his real name is the exact opposite of oldest ds's.  The two of them are exact opposites as well.  It's like having fire and ice in the house.  I've got one headstrong, quicktempered, exacting child who needs schedules and everything just so, and one who goes with the flow, is very laid back, takes forever to get mad about something.

I don't hate ds's name.  It just grates on me that the only connotation people have is this total brat.  With ds's 'fire' personality, it doesn't do much to change that on first perception.

FWIW, ds loves his name.  He doesn't use it, lol, except in very select scenarios, but he likes it and how it connects to oldest ds.

[Carrie12345]

Eh.  
Dh has an uncommon middle name and no emotional scars (from that, at least!)

Three of my kids have family-relavent middle names. I don’t particularly like one of them, and another is a double-middle, with one of those being my ex’s name. (And my FIL’s, so that’s why. There was an attempt to convince me to use it as a first. 😳)

My other two kids have random decent middle names.

NONE of them have ever been used socially except for introducing newborns, and there was only 1 jab from my ex. 😛 

[elegantlion]

Exdh's father died when exdh was 10. When we started dating, exdh proclaimed that if we had children, he wanted to name a son after his father. We did, no regrets. Ds has the same first, middle, and last name of his late grandfather with II attached at the end. He's the 4th generation of first born sons with the same middle name.  Ds only uses his middle name on official forms, he fits his first name pretty well. 

My SO uses his middle name. He dislikes his first name. My middle name is the diminitive name of a beloved aunt. I wish my parents had used the full name instead. 

I'm also curious what the middle name is. Best case scenario - the name sinks into oblivion after infanthood to be used only on forms. Worst case - the kid loves the middle name and adopts it for use. 

[teachermom2834]

I know some people have super strong feelings about names and some people have strong personal reasons for aversions to particular names. But if it just isn’t your style…eh…personally that just isn’t a biggie for me as a middle name. I tend to think that once a child is here I just see the child and they just end up being themselves and the name just becomes them. I can’t picture not just thinking “it wasn’t my choice for a name but it works” or “it just fits him” or whatever. Somehow the name just becomes the child and not the other way around. As long as it isn’t offensive or ridiculous and is an actual name I think the child just takes it on and makes it their own. 
 

But that’s just me and my kids have what other people would consider very boring traditional names. Lol. I really dislike my name and it doesn’t seem like “me” at all but honestly it hasn’t been a big deal either. Now, if it was ridiculous or offensive or something that would be different. It’s just a name and I’m ME and that’s way bigger than the name. 
 

But I am perfectly aware that other people have very visceral opinions that differ from mine and that is okay too. 

[Dmmetler]

Most of the teens I know don’t go by their given names anyway. Some have completely changed them, some use nicknames or shortened forms, some use middle names, or if they went by middle names as a young child (due to having the same first name as a parent or relative, now use first names.

[maize]

You can also do what we have done with three of our kids and give the baby two middle names 🙂

The first time we opted for two middle names it was because I wanted one middle name and dh wanted another. We ended up with both. 

Anyway, if your fear is that the child won't like the middle name dh likes, having two middle names means they really wouldn't have to use that name at all if they prefer, 99% of the time.

Unless the name was Hitler or Stalin or something I can't imagine a name being so bad I couldn't stand it as a middle name.

[maize]

19 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

Most of the teens I know don’t go by their given names anyway. Some have completely changed them, some use nicknames or shortened forms, some use middle names, or if they went by middle names as a young child (due to having the same first name as a parent or relative, now use first names.

This is so interesting. None of the teens I know well go by different names than they did as younger kids!

[Farrar]

The changed name thing is common in my circles among teens and young adults, but I definitely wouldn't say all. It's a significant or notable minority though.

I don't regret my kids' names. Dh and Mushroom's names are really close and we didn't think about that much beforehand, which... I mean, it's okay, but I realized later it was a bit odd. And BalletBoy's name turned out to be rising in popularity, so he has a name that might be associated with people a few years younger which is something I might have wanted to know. But... no regrets in the end. I wish my kids liked their middle names more, but both of them find them too weird. But! Mushroom has a professor this semester with his middle name as the first name! He's likely to have him again as well. We both think it's funny because it's not a common name at all.

 

[Elizabeth86]

12 hours ago, freesia said:

Is anyone else dying to know what the name is??? 😂 

Ernest. I am sorry, but the Ernest movies are the only things that comes to mind. Dh likes the Ernest movies and doesn’t see a problem. He says no one knows the Ernest movies, but everyone I know does. His second choice is Earl which was his grandfather’s middle name. However it is his paternal grandfather so his last name got passed down, so I feel no pressure to use his name.

I will say Ernest isn’t a bad name if it weren’t for the the Ernest movies or Ernie from Sesame Street. 

 

Edited October 19, 2022 by Elizabeth86

[vonfirmath]

13 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Ernest. I am sorry, but the Ernest movies are the only things that comes to mind. Dh likes the Ernest movies and doesn’t not see a problem. He says no one knows the Ernest movies, but everyone I know does. His second choice is Earl which was his grandfather’s middle name. However it is his paternal grandfather so his last name got passed down, so I feel no pressure to use his name.

I will say Ernest isn’t a bad name if it weren’t for the the Ernest movies or Ernie from Sesame Street. 

 

I don't know what the Ernest movies are at all.

I prefer the name Earl to Ernest -- just from sounds. But I prefer the definition of Earnest "Diligent, Truthful"  -- Wouldn't that be a great legacy for a kid. To be known as diligent and truthful.

 

[vonfirmath]

Also either way -- your kid would have a middle initial of E just like you. My middle is Elizabeth but I did not give it to my daughter because then her first AND Middle would match a relative. Instead her first name matches multiple relatives that she was named after and she has a middle name of her own. But I still love my middle name and wish I could have shared it with her.

[freesia]

24 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Ernest. I am sorry, but the Ernest movies are the only things that comes to mind. Dh likes the Ernest movies and doesn’t see a problem. He says no one knows the Ernest movies, but everyone I know does. His second choice is Earl which was his grandfather’s middle name. However it is his paternal grandfather so his last name got passed down, so I feel no pressure to use his name.

I will say Ernest isn’t a bad name if it weren’t for the the Ernest movies or Ernie from Sesame Street. 

 

Thanks for sharing. I don’t know the Ernest movies. I don’t think Ernest as a middle name is awful. I wouldn’t need an explanation. You never know with names anyway. My friend named her son two names in the late 90’s that together conjured an image of an old man smoking a cigar for me and another friend. Another friend used a name that seemed old lady to me. Both sets of names grew in me as the children grew. They’ve also become more popular. Actually, in the early 80’s my youth group leaders names their dd Emily. I was SO relieved they called her by her middle name. Who knew how popular Emily would become and now I like it. 
 

Anyway, that’s a super long mind dump just to encourage you that it won’t necessarily be universally criticized. 
 

As to your original question, ds’s name is one of those names that was unheard of in the 20th century and has risen in popularity a lot. I liked it when we chose it but do go in and out of wondering if we should have named him another name. I don’t know why. I’m fickle. My mother and grandmother did not like it at all—but that actually has no bearing on my feelings. 

[Kassia]

I don't know the Ernest movies either.  My friend's late-DH was Earnest and was such a special person so I associate that name with positive things.  I do prefer Earl between the two, but Ernest brings a smile to my heart thinking of my friend's wonderful DH.

 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

When my sister had her last baby, her husband filled out the paperwork.

She didn’t know until the birth certificate came in the mail that he had named the baby Firstname Middlename Archibald Lastname as a joke.

My sister did not think it was funny.

The baby is now almost  7 and calls himself Archie. He loves the name. So it backfired all the way around. 😂😂

[Elizabeth86]

9 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

When my sister had her last baby, her husband filled out the paperwork.

She didn’t know until the birth certificate came in the mail that he had named the baby Firstname Middlename Archibald Lastname as a joke.

My sister did not think it was funny.

The baby is now almost  7 and calls himself Archie. He loves the name. So it backfired all the way around. 😂😂

What a story!! I couldn’t imagine. lol

[Scarlett]

I don’t think it is a terrible name. I do not know anything about Ernest movies though.

but to me the real issue  is not how bad of a name it is, it is that you hate it. If I were you I would keep brainstorming with your husband to find two names that you both are OK with. Even if they are not names that you love at least they do the names that you do not hate. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I know the Ernest movies. But I would not associate a person with that name with the movies. 

[purpleowl]

I haven't seen the Ernest movies but I recall ads for them. If I met someone whose child had Ernest as a middle name, I would probably first assume it was a family name, but if somebody just liked it, well, good for them. 

I love all of my kids' names, but I will tell you that with one of them we regularly hear "like in Harry Potter?" Like, a couple of days ago I said my kid's name and a person I hadn't even been talking to said, "Oh, are you guys Harry Potter fans?" And we did know that would happen when we made that choice, and we're okay with it (though HP is not the reason we chose the name). If you think you will not be okay with it, I would not use the name.

[Jean in Newcastle]

8 minutes ago, purpleowl said:

I haven't seen the Ernest movies but I recall ads for them. If I met someone whose child had Ernest as a middle name, I would probably first assume it was a family name, but if somebody just liked it, well, good for them. 

I love all of my kids' names, but I will tell you that with one of them we regularly hear "like in Harry Potter?" Like, a couple of days ago I said my kid's name and a person I hadn't even been talking to said, "Oh, are you guys Harry Potter fans?" And we did know that would happen when we made that choice, and we're okay with it (though HP is not the reason we chose the name). If you think you will not be okay with it, I would not use the name.

We had a name that exploded onto the political scene right as the baby was born. I was disgusted at how many people asked me if the baby was named after the political figure. Now many years later no younger people have even  heard of this political figure and no one asks if there is a connection. You can never control how names ebb and flow, what a writer is going to use or what’s going to be on the news cycle. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I doubt that 99% of people born after the 90’s will have heard of the Ernest movies (and obviously many born before then as well). And I don’t know how many now know that Ernie is a nickname for Ernest. Just don’t name another child Bert. 

[Selkie]

Ernest doesn’t make me think of the movies, but Earl definitely makes me think of the Dixie Chicks song.🙂

[purpleowl]

7 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

We had a name that exploded onto the political scene right as the baby was born. I was disgusted at how many people asked me if the baby was named after the political figure. Now many years later no younger people have even  heard of this political figure and no one asks if there is a connection. You can never control how names ebb and flow, what a writer is going to use or what’s going to be on the news cycle. 

Very true! And I agree that the Ernest movies will likely not be on the radar for a lot of people. I just think if the reaction to the mention of them is super strong, it might not be the best choice.

(My first thought with Ernest, by the way, is The Importance of Being Earnest.)

[Heartstrings]

I watched Ernest growing up but my first thought would be that it was a family name. I would assume the same about Earl too, to be hones, since neither are “fashionable” names at the moments. I think they’re both fine middle names. 

[rebcoola]

I know the Ernest movies and we did watch one or two with our kids but I don't think I would associate them.  It's not a great name but it's fine I was expecting something really out there.

[elegantlion]

One of my best friends in high school was named Ernest. He was not from the US and I don't know the origin of his naming. Everyone called him Ernie. As a adult professional, he used his middle name which was more unusual in the US but more common in his country. He still let me call him Ernie, though. We lost touch in the last decade or so but everytime I hear the name Ernest, I smile because of the memories I have associated with that name. 

 

 

[mom2samlibby]

4 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Ernest. I am sorry, but the Ernest movies are the only things that comes to mind. Dh likes the Ernest movies and doesn’t see a problem. He says no one knows the Ernest movies, but everyone I know does. His second choice is Earl which was his grandfather’s middle name. However it is his paternal grandfather so his last name got passed down, so I feel no pressure to use his name.

I will say Ernest isn’t a bad name if it weren’t for the the Ernest movies or Ernie from Sesame Street. 

 

What are the Ernest movies?