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Mini-update

Not_a_Number

By Not_a_Number,
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Not_a_Number

Not_a_Number

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Hey all, 

I haven't been on much so I thought I'd give you guys a mini-update about what's been going on with us, homeschooling-wise and life-wise. (Please don't quote -- I'll probably delete this post.) 

We've been unschooling DD9 since the fall. If you guys remember, we had a LOT of friction for the year before that (I'm really not proud of how many times I yelled at her), because DD9 would simply refuse to work on things she didn't feel like doing if there was any chance that I would help her out. And she would think that I might help if I was anywhere nearby at all. Basically, if I was around, all of her frustration would get directed at me as anger, even if the frustration had absolutely nothing to do with me. That was really, really hard. And sometime early in the winter, I had an epiphany that helped me realize how I was contributing to these dynamics... so the break has been unambiguously good. 

She's been doing well unschooling -- she's been focusing on math, Russian and a bit of writing, and of course she reads a ton. She has also been taking some Zoom classes with our co-op and she plays piano pretty seriously. Despite the fact that her emotions are much less turbulent when working on her own, she keeps insisting that she REALLY wants to work with me, and we've been doing some occasional experiments with that, with mixed results. (I think we're making progress figuring out how to interact well with me teaching her, but since both of us contribute to our dysfunctional dynamics, it's taking a lot of honesty and responsibility on both of our parts to move forward.) 

I've let my DD6 be much more independent than DD9 had been at this age and we are doing a fairly minimal amount of schooling with her for a variety of reasons -- right now, she just does writing and math. However, she reads fluently for pleasure, and her math is unsurprisingly many grades advanced, so I'm not at all worried about her. (And she does piano as well.) 

The other thing that happened recently was that some of my relationship issues with DH came to a head and we were separated for a few months 😕. We're currently living together again and trying to figure things out. That's the subject of a whole other thread (one I would probably not post publicly.) Let's just say that I've learned all sorts of things about DH's emotional realities that I had no idea about... I've always thought DH and DD9 were incredibly similar, personality-wise, and that turned out to be even truer than I thought. On the bright side, the similarities have meant that learning about one of them sometimes helps me with the other one... 

I'm nowhere near sure what's going to happen with DH, although we're unambiguously in a better place than we had been for many years (and in some ways, we're in a better place than we ever had been, since we're being much more open with each other.) 

Anyway, it's been a lot. Sorry to have been away! There's a lot more to be said than what I have above, but that'll have to wait. 

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Not_a_Number

Not_a_Number

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Oh, and a mild brag: DD9 worked really hard to do well on the AMC 8. She choked a bit on the actual contest and got a 14, which is one point away from Achievement Roll (what kids in Grade 6 and below need to get a certificate of achievement.) She was a little bummed and so were we, since she was doing quite a bit better on practices -- usually 16 and up. But it was a good experience for her, I think, and she showed a lot of independence in preparing. 

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Not_a_Number

Not_a_Number

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3 minutes ago, freesia said:

Thanks for the update! Welcome back. 

 

Just now, HomeAgain said:

I'm glad to see you again. 🙂

 

14 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

Thanks for the update -- I'm glad you're back!!!

 

Thanks to all of you! It's good to be back 😄 . 

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Drama Llama

Drama Llama

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46 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

Thanks! How are you? 

One foot in front of the other.

44 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

Oh, and a mild brag: DD9 worked really hard to do well on the AMC 8. She choked a bit on the actual contest and got a 14, which is one point away from Achievement Roll (what kids in Grade 6 and below need to get a certificate of achievement.) She was a little bummed and so were we, since she was doing quite a bit better on practices -- usually 16 and up. But it was a good experience for her, I think, and she showed a lot of independence in preparing. 

Congratulations! 

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Xahm

Xahm

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Very glad to hear from you, and I deeply respect your decision to not post much during a rough time. (Though for those who do post their difficulties, that can also be something I deeply respect)

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Not_a_Number

Not_a_Number

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7 hours ago, Xahm said:

Very glad to hear from you, and I deeply respect your decision to not post much during a rough time. (Though for those who do post their difficulties, that can also be something I deeply respect)

Thank you! I simply didn't have the emotional juice, so I really needed the break. 

 

6 hours ago, Lecka said:

I’m glad things are going better with your daughter 🙂

Thank you! I wish she were more contented, though 😕 . She wants things she isn't able to do sometimes... she works better independently and yet she strongly wants something else. But we're making progress. 

 

6 hours ago, Lecka said:

And I hope things will go well with your husband, too.  It sounds like there is a lot of promise there.  

Fingers crossed. It's pretty up and down still, but it's definitely so much better than it was half a year ago. I'll have to post more details sometime when the dust settles some more. 

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