Make-a-Wish help. Suggestions needed.

[LostSurprise]

My youngest has a severe seizure disorder and has qualified for MAW for many years. Whenever we talk to him he is extremely adverse to going anywhere or talking about it at all. In general we've respected that and only brought it up once or twice a year to see if he's changed. Well, he's 17 now and we're receiving pressure from his neurology team and MAW to really try to push this forward. 

When I try to talk to our Wish coordinators, they are very optimistic and tell me not to worry, it doesn't have to be travel, we'll figure it out, but I'm not that person. I've been the one bridging this conversation for a decade and I need some new ideas or we will be sitting on Zoom while he shuts down and eventually we all agree to something silly like some new Switch games. No offense to that as a choice, but he won't appreciate it and I would rather they save their money for a Wish that impacts someone. 

See where I am right now? BTW, this is not a 'just talk to him' situation. He's developmentally disabled and I have talked to him at his level. He just doesn't like change or transitions, and has trouble imagining something outside of his experience. He shuts down the conversation. 

So what I'm looking for: 
*suggestions for Wishes (relevant background at bottom)

*applicable experience

*any other advice, talking points, experiments, or tweaks

Relevant background: He's obsessed with birds. He likes Star Wars, Micky Mouse, and animal rescue shows. He was a big Lego fan but is slowly outgrowing it. He likes to draw. We've tried to suggest Disney World, Legoland, or a visit to the rescue centers on Alaska Animal Rescue (a show he really enjoys). He has no interest. Maybe a bird rescue center closer to home or to help at a zoo...he always says no. I have no interest in getting an inside bird right now, and outside birds are not allowed. 

[Pam in CT]

This 13 year old kid who used his Wish to feed the homeless in his city one day a month for a YEAR got a lot of press two weeks ago (google "Abraham's Table" for many more reports.

Quote

When Adeola "Abraham" Olagbegi discovered his bone marrow transplant was successful, he was granted any wish of his choice.

But the 13-year-old's wish was not a trip across the world or the newest gaming console. Instead, he chose to feed homeless people in his hometown of Jackson, Mississippi, for a year.

 

It began in June 2020, when Abraham was diagnosed with aplastic anemia, a rare and life-threatening blood disorder. The disease is a type of bone marrow failure that made it impossible to produce enough blood cells to support his body.

"I am a person of hope, so when you come against a big mountain, you have to remember you have a big God," Abraham told CNN affiliate WLBT...

 

...Make-A-Wish Mississippi, which grants wishes to children and teens ages 2-18 who are often battling devastating illnesses, made his wish come true, bringing to life Abraham's Table, a service that provides meals to the homeless every third Saturday.

On those days, Abraham and a group of volunteers stand in Jackson's Poindexter Park distributing meals and will continue to do so with Make-A-Wish for the next year...

 

...Miriam Olagbegi, Abraham's mom, believes the experience has taught her son "valuable life lessons" that will impact him for the rest of his life.

"As parents, we could only hope to raise good, God-fearing, productive members of society," Olagbegi told CNN. "Sometimes we get things wrong and sometimes we get things right; so it's nice to see when things go right."

Abraham says he is committed to Abraham's Table and hopes to soon turn it into a nonprofit organization that will impact people for years to come.

In one of the several other articles I read about Abraham, I recall a quote from MAW that they'd never had a recipient choose a Wish like his, but that they were thrilled with his choice and very inclined to do other projects like it if other recipients so chose.

 

So if your son is not inclined or comfortable with travel or sensory overload, but has specific interests in animal rescue / habitat / birds etc, maybe explore some organizations working in those areas, and see what sort of initiatives they're trying to pursue.  Perhaps with MAW he could support getting a new wing of the raptor rescue center built & named after him with a small family ceremony?  That kind of idea.

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

Would he like a bedroom makeover? A local girl who couldn’t travel had that done here.

[history-fan]

Going on his interest in Star Wars. Maybe he would be open to going on a tour of ILM ( industrial Light and Magic) Stagecraft where they made the Mandalorian series. ILM Stagecraft have some you tube videos on how they filmed and the new process used. 

[HomeAgain]

I'd revisit the WDW option again, especially with the immersive Star Wars hotel opening (unless he has seen that?).  Maybe it would feel different to him than a "place" if it feels like he's in there.

Can a zoom call be a wish, or a part of one?  Because if so, I'd think maybe a Zoom with an imagineer, a close-to-home bird expert, or someone associated with Star Wars might be a good foot in and a person to meet live if he makes the trip. Especially if they can find someone particularly engaging and comfortable with him to be like a guide.

[theelfqueen]

A friend"s DS became a member of his favorite Major League team for a day - got to throw out the first pitch, was announced on the jumbotron, got a Jersey with his own name and number, a locker in the locker room, to hang out with the players, etc. 

There are a lot meet a celebrity kinds of wishes. Is there something he'd like to see behind the scenes of? Visit a factory for a favorite car? Would he like to fly in a military or historic aircraft? Is there something he wants to learn that they can provide classes for? 

 

Mentioning Star Wars and Mickey - Bret Iwan (voice of Mickey Mouse) and Ashley Eckstein (voice of Ahsoka Tano) do a lot of stuff together... might be a fun direction. 

Edited December 5, 2021 by theelfqueen

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't know the process but is he the kind of kid who if you went ahead and chose for him, would then go along and end up enjoying it after all?

 

[LostSurprise]

11 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I don't know the process but is he the kind of kid who if you went ahead and chose for him, would then go along and end up enjoying it after all?

 

It is very hard to say. Often it goes badly. Occasionally it will work. It's a lot of work either way. 

[Katy]

There’s also that new space restaurant at Disney. I’d probably plan the space hotel, Star Wars, and meeting Mickey Mouse. We had a kid stay with us for a while that hated transitions though.  When we had to go somewhere I tried to explain one step at a time and keep things as low-stimulation as possible, with the exception of quiet music he liked.  He’d had a traumatic brain injury and seizures, but he was much younger than 17. 

[Pam in CT]

zoom on into Imagineer world

14 minutes ago, HomeAgain said:

...Can a zoom call be a wish, or a part of one?  Because if so, I'd think maybe a Zoom with an imagineer, a close-to-home bird expert, or someone associated with Star Wars might be a good foot in and a person to meet live if he makes the trip. Especially if they can find someone particularly engaging and comfortable with him to be like a guide.

Or if he really is disinclined to travel (which I personally would respect), a virtual format with Imagineer types could itself be made a wish come true.

This wasn't MAW, but it definitely was a wish come true:  (start about 8:30 min in to get to the chase... though it takes me back, SGN, and is actually kind of on this topic and worth the time if you have the time)

 

[footballmom]

Echoing the “Meet an Imagineer” idea - over Zoom and he could draw Mickey or Star Wars stuff.

[Acadie]

1 hour ago, LostSurprise said:

Relevant background: He's obsessed with birds. He likes Star Wars, Micky Mouse, and animal rescue shows. He was a big Lego fan but is slowly outgrowing it. He likes to draw. We've tried to suggest Disney World, Legoland, or a visit to the rescue centers on Alaska Animal Rescue (a show he really enjoys). He has no interest. Maybe a bird rescue center closer to home or to help at a zoo...he always says no. I have no interest in getting an inside bird right now, and outside birds are not allowed. 

Is there a particular kind of bird he likes? I wonder about a Zoom or in person bird experience, like with a falconer or someone who works with other birds, where he could see the bird being fed, or hunting, or cared for in some way. Something where he can learn about it at home in advance and make a few choices to feel more involved or direct the experience in some way. I guess I'd look for ways to narrow the field, considering what kind of birds or bird behavior he's most interested in, and try to figure out if there's a way for him to experience that more deeply. Maybe "meet" a bird he can watch on video or webcam before or after? Does he like to be outdoors at all? The right falconer might be able to interact with the falcon and your son in ways that help draw him out without overwhelming him. I also wonder if introducing it step by step could help. Like just setting up a meeting with a person and bird over Zoom, and later asking if he'd like to go to the woods to see the bird in real life. Do you have to call it Make A Wish to him, if he associates that with feeling overwhelmed/saying no? Or just focus on the bird when you talk about it, not the facility. If there is a visit anywhere it sounds like having it entirely tailored to him and his needs, rather than visiting a public place with a big crowd, might work better for him. 

Edited December 5, 2021 by Acadie

[Ottakee]

We did 2 make a wish trips to Disney/Sea World.  It can be as big or small as you want.  Lots of ways for down time.

Would he want to go to a bird sanctuary and have some up close encounters and then maybe have bird feeder set up at home?

Would he enjoy a pool?  My son friend did that for his wish...an above ground pool and deck 

Do you have other kids?  I went with 3 and we divided and conquered when one was overwhelmed or needed a down day   the other got to go and enjoy the park.

[lmrich]

Is he open to travel nearby or does he not want to sleep away from home? It might help to know where you live (not your address obviously) to help throw out ideas that might be close by. 

How about bird watching nearby with an expert? When we were in Acadia this year, I family hired a bird watcher to hike with them and identify birds and explain quite a bit. 

[rebcoola]

It doesn't have to be travel a girl here got an airstream.  Friends family did a Sensory play room he was much younger.   You could probably get an animal rescue show or storm troopers to come to you.  

[DeainUSA]

Petting zoo at the house?  Something hands on like that, but they come to you.

Hot tub or pool?

Sensory room at your house?

Edited December 5, 2021 by DeainUSA

[Drama Llama]

We went through something similar with my kid.  

When you think of a day when he was happiest.  What was happening on that day? 

[Drama Llama]

MAW is also really good at taking a small wish that a kid expresses, and turning it into something cool, so it might be that if he says “to see birds” or something they will turn it into something cool.

[prairiewindmomma]

On 12/5/2021 at 1:26 PM, Baseballandhockey said:

MAW is also really good at taking a small wish that a kid expresses, and turning it into something cool, so it might be that if he says “to see birds” or something they will turn it into something cool.

This all depends on the skill of your wish granter and the staff in the regional office. (My dad is a volunteer wish granter.)  If you ask specifically, they are more bound by the specifics of the wish. Celebrity wishes tend to take the longest to grant.

The WDW trip is very easy to grant, typically (covid travel restrictions aside), because they pair with Give Kids the World. In your wording of the wish, you need to specify whatever experience inside of WDW you want. "I wish to go to WDW and meet the avarian trainers at Animal Kingdom. (There are several bird specific shows there.)

 

Non-travel thoughts:

* a wish to have a bird themed sensory room with (name three things)

*a wish to have a bird specialist come to you. (Here there are school shows where they bring owls, falcons, parrots, etc.)

I'd give some thought as to what future needs could be met. He'll soon be transitioning to adulthood. Does he have the mobility equipment he needs? Does he have a good setup for adult life if you plan to keep him at home? What does he do for joy? 

I don't think a wish has to be a perfect wish.  Wishes are about bringing joy to kids and families. 

 

[Dmmetler]

If you go to Orlando, it might be worth contacting/suggesting Gatorland. They don't have a big ornithology program, but they do have several non-releasable birds, and their keepers are super good at giving behind the scenes experiences. I know the keeper L shadowed had apparently specialized in owls before coming to Gatorland, and they added several just for him to be able to keep his hand in. 

 

 

Edited December 7, 2021 by Dmmetler

[Lucy the Valiant]

Is there possibly a doctor or therapist he talks well to who is "not mom"? (A child of mine has a special person like this who helps sometimes with hard medical things.)

[Bambam]

How about a bird feeding station? You know - a couple of bird feeders (the squirrel proof kind - they are pricey), a heated bird bath (assuming you live in a cold climate), a pair of great binoculars (or a great camera), some bird houses (maybe with cameras in them?), suet feeders, thistle bag feeders (whatever is appropriate to your area) - and feed/seed for a specific length of time?  Bonus if they could landscape an area to put the bird feeders/bath/houses in so the birds would be more likely to visit.  

Or a visit to a popular migration place. I know High Island on the coast of TX is supposed to be amazing at certain times of the year. Maybe that would be too crowded for him? 

[catz]

Maybe something at home if adventures away from home are touch and go?  Bird themed bedroom?  Something for the backyard?

Edited December 8, 2021 by FuzzyCatz

[theelfqueen]

If Disney is on the radar - ask about bird stuff at Animal Kingdom. 

[matrips]

My cousin’s daughter asked for a swimming pool instead of a trip for her MAW years ago.  So that’s what they did.  It was an above ground pool with decking. Is there anything he would like at home that he would use a lot but would otherwise be cost-prohibitive?

[TechWife]

Can he ask for a donation to a localish bird or animal rescue group? Or ask one of the groups if there is a piece of equipment they need? Or provide xxx months of feed? But, I don’t understand why he can’t just decline it. A gift shouldn’t be a burden. 

[fraidycat]

Since he loves birds, does he enjoy going camping to see more/different ones out away from home?

A local girl received a camper for MAW dream.

Edited December 8, 2021 by fraidycat

[happi duck]

I like the idea upthread of bringing in an expert to make your yard bird friendly with ways to easily view them.  (If you own your home and plan to stay there.). It will be there when he's ready since it isn't an event.

 

[Splash1]

We did Hawaii trip as my daughter wanted to see volcanoes and swim with the dolphins.

Friends son who couldn't travel got a hot tub.

 

[GoodGrief3]

What if they created a special program at the bird rescue center that was named for him...perhaps a recovery center, something tangible that he could visit through the years as he likes and is of ongoing help to the birds.

[Pippen]

9 hours ago, happi duck said:

I like the idea upthread of bringing in an expert to make your yard bird friendly with ways to easily view them.  (If you own your home and plan to stay there.). It will be there when he's ready since it isn't an event.

 

I love birds too, and this is the idea that I would have suggested. A bird feeder or bird bath with a webcam could be fun.