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Panic attack :-/


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Today is my older girl’s 9th birthday! I should be thrilled.

But instead, I’m sitting here, feeling utterly panicked. The case numbers are going up. We don’t know when the kid vaccine will be out. And the air quality in NYC is so terrible due to the fires that we’ve turned off the AC.

I had quite a few days of incapacitating if transient panic back in Spring 2020. I don’t want to go back to that feeling…

Update: I'm back to normal, whatever normal may be, lol. 

Edited by Not_a_Number
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I know that there is so much unknown,  but would it help for perspective to know that I personally know dozens of children who have had covid and who all had mild symptoms and recovered quickly? One was a newborn.  My nieces are recovering now and did fine. I know it's not true for everyone,  but it is what I have observed personally this year.

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1 minute ago, KeriJ said:

I know that there is so much unknown,  but would it help for perspective to know that I personally know dozens of children who have had covid and who all had mild symptoms and recovered quickly? One was a newborn.  My nieces are recovering now and did fine. I know it's not true for everyone,  but it is what I have observed personally this year.

Not a ton, although I appreciate you saying it!

I do figure risks are at a few percent, not higher. But a few percent still feels like a big gamble. Plus, I’m more worried about the long term.

If we get data that says risk is under a percent, then I’d feel better.

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I am so sorry.   I am right there with you.  I went to bed crying last night.  It feels like a bad movie.   I thought this would be the fall like October or something.

Happy Birthday to your dd!!!!   Tell her all her hive Aunties wish her the best birthday ever.  

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Just now, mommyoffive said:

I am so sorry.   I am right there with you.  I went to bed crying last night.  It feels like a bad movie.   I thought this would be the fall like October or something.

Yeah. I was prepared to do fewer things in the fall. I really was. July, not so much.

 

Just now, mommyoffive said:

Happy Birthday to your dd!!!!   Tell her all her hive Aunties wish her the best birthday ever.  

Thank you!! 

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Just now, bibiche said:

Me neither, but the numbers have ratcheted up my anxiety these past couple weeks and DH “prescribed” them for me. 

I’ve already been drinking a bit more than I tend to (mind you, my usual is a drink a week), so I’m a little hesitant to do more mind alteration…

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37 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

Do you have a brand recommendation?

Extract Labs.  CBD does nothing for me, but this place is local to me, keep a clean operation, offers various discounts depending on your circumstances, and many people I know swear by their products.

Fair warning, the delta 8 products are not the same thing as CBD.  
 

I wish I had words of comfort for you, op ❤️

Edited by Ailaena
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52 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

. And the air quality in NYC is so terrible due to the fires that we’ve turned off the AC.

Happy Birthday to your daughter 🎂🎉

I’m so sorry for the smog. Whenever the west coast goes into wildfire season, the east coast suffers from our smoke as well.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/weather/western-wildfire-smoke-creates-fiery-sunrise-2-000-miles-away-n1274478

”After baking in weeks of searing heat, the West is erupting in fierce wildfires so strong the smoke was visible Tuesday on the East Coast in cities such as New York and Washington, D.C.

Air quality alerts were issued for New York City on Tuesday, and the National Weather Service urged sensitive groups to remain indoors.”

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1 hour ago, bibiche said:

CBD gummies?

And congratulations to you and a happy birthday to your daughter.

I finally tried these a few months ago. I'm such a boring person that I'd never used marijuana in my life. It's legal here now so I finally tried some of the gummies. I don't get it. I didn't feel anything. Oh well...

I'm sitting here waiting to hear the COVID test results from a girl who shared a cabin with DD at camp last week. The girl has cold symptoms. DD has a slight sore throat. 

Happy 9th BD to your daughter! 9 years old is a good age. Still little but more independent. 

Edited by Ordinary Shoes
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24 minutes ago, regentrude said:

I am sorry.

You may feel better if you limit how much you follow the Covid news for a while. It's crazy-making. Hope you can feel calmer.

I don’t think I’ll feel better, because there are still decisions to make 😕 . It’s the decisions stressing me out.

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15 minutes ago, bibiche said:

Agreeing with regentrude. Can you get out of the city and spend some time in nature? Or at least go for a long walk in the park?

We have been 🙂 . We’ve had a very outdoorsy, lovely summer. I can’t help being a planner, though!

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In the midst of our worst air quality last September (>500), we got an air purifier. I don't know how much it helps, but it helps me feel better and I like the white noise (it's by my side of the bed). Also our AC has an air filter--I wouldn't turn it off. Sorry--I know it doesn't help much with the big picture.

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2 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

 🙂  I can’t help being a planner, though!

I get that. I am a planner, too.

What helped me was to acknowledge that we are in a rapidly evolving situation with insufficient data to make optimal decisions. 

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Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, regentrude said:

I get that. I am a planner, too.

What helped me was to acknowledge that we are in a rapidly evolving situation with insufficient data to make optimal decisions. 

I mean, that doesn't help much, because I still have to make the decisions 😛 . 

Like, right now, I'm monitoring the fact that they are finding outdoor transmission in Australia. I would REALLY like to know how prevalent that is so I can decide what to do with our co-op playground playdates in the coming months. As is, I'm going to have the kids mask for them, and I'll probably start masking outdoors when in close contact as well... at least, if the reports of outdoor transmission are born out, I will. 

Do I WANT to be doing this? No. I was actually not checking things much at all for a month -- I'd check the cases in the morning, which looked low and constant, and then we went about our day. It was LOVELY. I was absolutely hoping this state of affairs would last until October, like last year! Stupid Delta... 

Edited by Not_a_Number
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Ugh. I’d say I hope you feel better soon, but unless delta magically disappears that’s not likely. 😞 So instead I hope the panic attack subsides soon and some of your big decisions are made so those particular worries can get out of your head.

I hope, too, that your daughter has an excellent birthday—nine is such an exciting age! 
 

And I’ll agree about the air quality. I was freaked out all day yesterday over the gross sky and DH and I have had to double up on allergy meds to breathe. At least I know the cause of my niggling sore throat, which caused me quite a few moments of panic since they started after family flew in for a visit. I guess wildfire smoke is better than COVID, but still. 

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I am right there with you. I was finally starting to relax and feel more normal.  And since nothing happened to my community last time.... it could be very bad this time. But I feel like I cannot say anything...chicken little and everything.

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1 minute ago, MEmama said:

Ugh. I’d say I hope you feel better soon, but unless delta magically disappears that’s not likely. 😞 So instead I hope the panic attack subsides soon and some of your big decisions are made so those particular worries can get out of your head.

I hope, too, that your daughter has an excellent birthday—nine is such an exciting age! 
 

And I’ll agree about the air quality. I was freaked out all day yesterday over the gross sky and DH and I have had to double up on allergy meds to breathe. At least I know the cause of my niggling sore throat, which caused me quite a few moments of panic since they started after family flew in for a visit. I guess wildfire smoke is better than COVID, but still. 

I'll probably feel better after I adjust to our new reality. I'm thankfully relatively resilient and the panic attacks tend to be self-limiting. I just need to get used to the fact that this is our new normal. 

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3 minutes ago, sgo95 said:

Why can't you run the AC? I thought the filters would clean the air?

I think they would to some extent, but it's worse than not running it at all 😛. Although honestly, I didn't check this -- DH said this, and I assume he looked this up. 

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10 minutes ago, Ali in OR said:

In the midst of our worst air quality last September (>500), we got an air purifier.

 

2 minutes ago, sgo95 said:

Why can't you run the AC? I thought the filters would clean the air?

It helps if you don’t mind staying home like my teens. Air purifiers and keeping windows closed were good enough for them. My husband and I ended up pacing a large indoor mall since the air quality was too bad to hit the trails unless we drive more than an hour southwards or eastwards. 

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Its actually quite helpful for me to hear some one else feeling anxious about this.  We are in an area that is *sort of* taking things seriously, in a county that is lukewarm at best, in a state that is just so frustrating.  So my community experience is varied.  I have enjoyed a very low key summer and haven't worried but it's rising all around us again and I've got a 9 year old, too.  I am really ready for a vaccine for these kids!

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Hang in there. We’re pretty disappointed here, but we’re all vaccinated. I am trying to be positive about all the errands and appointments we squeezed in while things were better, but that doesn’t help with decisions at all. 

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1 minute ago, kbutton said:

Hang in there. We’re pretty disappointed here, but we’re all vaccinated. I am trying to be positive about all the errands and appointments we squeezed in while things were better, but that doesn’t help with decisions at all. 

I'm actually pretty ready to be chill as soon as everyone's vaccinated. I mean, unless I see data that vaccinated people are getting long COVID, lol. 

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1 minute ago, Not_a_Number said:

I'm actually pretty ready to be chill as soon as everyone's vaccinated. I mean, unless I see data that vaccinated people are getting long COVID, lol. 

I am so grateful for vaccines, but we have quite a few things that will up exposure a great deal, and we may have a vaccinated but immune compromised person we see weekly if they recover from a recent health setback. 

We’re not going crazy, but we’re back to masking more again.

Orthodontics start soon—the office is open concept with open mouths all over. Band/choir— we’re often nearly the only people taking precautions, and homeschool band/choir will have kids too young for vaccination participating and probably unvaccinated teens. There is singing at church (currently trying out a church that promotes vaccination from the pulpit, so lower risk, but there are still littles there). That’s a lot of aerosols every week.

The vaccination rate here is less than 50% last I looked.

For us, worried is too strong a word, but so is chill, lol. Work could look bad for DH, and it could mess with his hours again. 

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5 hours ago, Not_a_Number said:

Hmmm. Never tried them…

I have been using the CBD gummies to deal with anxiety. (I feel like I just admitted to illicit drug use, 😂). They are definitely helping. I don't feel like I am "on" anything, and I don't need to take them daily if I don't want to. 

Something to think about if the panic doesn't subside. 

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Happy birthday to your daughter.

I ask my son to wear a mask and stay 6 feet away when playing with friends and to stay under direct sunlight (hoping the ultraviolet rays help cut down germs) and since it is outdoors, it has been OK for us so far. I think that this is a good compromise and if this will give you peace, then you might want to try it. As for Fall activities/co-op etc, things can change no matter what decisions you make because with COVID, things are evolving all the time - looking at it like that will help ease your anxiety a little. Hang in there and go and enjoy birthday cake with your family 😊

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Don't underestimate the effect of the air quality. It can make you feel very trapped. Do you have some air purifiers you can run? 

Is your panic more likely to respond to CBT type thinking? Recognizing the thoughts, reality checking, reframing? 

Sometimes the brain needs radical acceptance and self compassion practices instead.

Hope the air clears and you find a way to avoid the incapacitating anxiety. 

 

 

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