Flushing Etiquette

[AmandaVT]

This is related to a situation that happened this afternoon at my house. 

[Selkie]

😦 I can’t imagine not flushing.

[EKS]

Oh my...

[stephanier.1765]

It wouldn't even occur to me not to.

 

[Corraleno]

Unless I lived in an area where water was being rationed due to drought and where this was common practice (in which case I would ask first), I would never. ever. ever. not flush.  😳

[Acorn]

I don’t flush pee in my in-laws toilet during the night. It is crazy loud to refill the tank. The seal leaks so you have to wait forever and wiggle the handle or sometimes take the lid off and move the float. Totally not worth dealing with in the semi dark when half asleep.

[Shoeless]

Um...I can't imagine not flushing.  I've lived in a lot of different states in the US and I have never encountered a place where the assumption was that it was ok to not flush.  

[AmandaVT]

Thank you! I am glad I'm with the majority on this one today. DH headed to an event with an acquaintance this evening and she picked him up. Before they left, she asked if she could use our restroom. First time I've met her and first time she's been in our home. She didn't flush! Or close the lid. I had to do both after they left. And then got a bit squicky and cleaned the bathroom. Just wanted to make sure that it is typical to flush in a strangers home. No drought here- we've had a ton of rain!

[Hilltopmom]

I have a lot of crunchy friends on wells and off grid or partially off grid. Flushing is frowned on in that crowd.

[Tanaqui]

I'd flush unless instructed not to or, of course, if we were under drought conditions. Just basic common courtesy.

(And if drought was very common and likely where I lived, I'd strongly consider setting up a "graywater" system where the water used to wash my hands then went to fill the tank.)

[Ottakee]

39 minutes ago, AmandaVT said:

Thank you! I am glad I'm with the majority on this one today. DH headed to an event with an acquaintance this evening and she picked him up. Before they left, she asked if she could use our restroom. First time I've met her and first time she's been in our home. She didn't flush! Or close the lid. I had to do both after they left. And then got a bit squicky and cleaned the bathroom. Just wanted to make sure that it is typical to flush in a strangers home. No drought here- we've had a ton of rain!

My thought is maybe she lives on a septic system and if there is a lot of rain you can't flush as often so as not to overload the system.  Still, I would flush at a stranger's house unless I was instructed otherwise.

Here at home, we often flush every other time and let the yellow mellow.

[Farrar]

I totally respect people who let it mellow. I often let it mellow overnight because the flush is loud and the bathroom is between my kids' rooms. So I don't find it inherently gross to do that. But... um... NEVER in someone's home, especially someone I didn't know super well.

[AmandaVT]

19 minutes ago, Hilltopmom said:

I have a lot of crunchy friends on wells and off grid or partially off grid. Flushing is frowned on in that crowd.

 

This is a possibility - we have a well and septic, and it's pretty common in this area. I just can't imagine assuming that someone else is happy to flush my pee for me.

7 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

My thought is maybe she lives on a septic system and if there is a lot of rain you can't flush as often so as not to overload the system.  Still, I would flush at a stranger's house unless I was instructed otherwise.

Here at home, we often flush every other time and let the yellow mellow.

 

We are on a septic and we've gotten rain, but not so much that it's straining the system. That could have been the thinking behind it though!

[lavender's green]

I would always flush unless instructed otherwise.

I once had dorm with a shared bathroom with another room. She'd always forget to flush. Including #2. 

Maybe your guest has a toilet handle with a different level of sensitivity, and she just pressed as hard or as long as she normally does, but with your toilet that's not enough for a full flush? Some toilets take a lot longer than I think they should, but it's apparently normal for that house, because it happens every time I go there and the owners never mention toilet trouble. It could be easy to overlook if you're not (ahem) anal about making sure you've achieved a full flush.

[Liz CA]

6 hours ago, Selkie said:

😦 I can’t imagine not flushing.

 

Umm, yeah...what reasoning would be the basis for not flushing and why would it have anything to do with being somewhere for the first time?

[Melissa in Australia]

if you are visiting my house and it is a drought  and we are low on water PLEASE FLUSH. I cannot stand the thought of going to the toilet with a non related person's wee sitting in it.

 

when we are really really low on water we shave the shower water in a bucket to sue to flush the toilet. the leaving it to mellow thing makes stains on the toilet bowel that require cleaners and WATER to clean. better to recycle some pre-used water to flush instead. We do the if you are male go behind a tree as well

[SKL]

Unless asked not to (and I've never been asked not to that I recall), I always flush out of habit.

That said - since it is a habit, it is very possible that a person who is out of her usual routine could forget something she doesn't normally think about.

I have kids who are very inconsistent about flushing.  I always blame them when the toilet is not flushed.  Well, this week my kids have been gone, and I've had to flush other people's pee in 2 different toilets that I don't use.  So apparently it is not just my kids, LOL.

[Pink and Green Mom]

If I was at someone's house and had to use the bathroom and someone told me not to flush, I seriously think I would hold it in.

[Catwoman]

14 hours ago, Hilltopmom said:

I have a lot of crunchy friends on wells and off grid or partially off grid. Flushing is frowned on in that crowd.

 

Is it wrong that I would never want to go to their houses? 

Because seriously, I’m not using a toilet that already has pee in it. I’m just NOT.

[Catwoman]

2 hours ago, SKL said:

Unless asked not to (and I've never been asked not to that I recall), I always flush out of habit.

That said - since it is a habit, it is very possible that a person who is out of her usual routine could forget something she doesn't normally think about.

I have kids who are very inconsistent about flushing.  I always blame them when the toilet is not flushed.  Well, this week my kids have been gone, and I've had to flush other people's pee in 2 different toilets that I don't use.  So apparently it is not just my kids, LOL.

 

Have you considering moving? 😉

[happi duck]

I always flush at other people's houses and in public.

At home, flushing *every* time seems like such a waste.  I grew up with the unspoken expectation that flushing every time wasn't necessary.  I'm surprised that it isn't the norm to skip a couple flushes a day.

Our toilet is not difficult to clean, btw. 

[AmandaVT]

23 minutes ago, happi duck said:

I always flush at other people's houses and in public.

At home, flushing *every* time seems like such a waste.  I grew up with the unspoken expectation that flushing every time wasn't necessary.  I'm surprised that it isn't the norm to skip a couple flushes a day.

Our toilet is not difficult to clean, btw. 

 

I don't flush every time either - especially in the middle of the night when I might wake someone up. I would never not flush at someone else's home though, unless specifically asked not to.

[Arctic Bunny]

Add me to the “I can’t imagine not flushing.” What??!! Now reading the rest of the thread, not sure if I’m hoping for an explanation or not!

[vonfirmath]

My intention is to always flush.  But I don't always follow through on my intentions. Nor can I always remember for sure if I did something or not. (Thus why I'm always going back and checking to make sure the door is locked -- less than 30 seconds after I closed the door behind me! So I SHOULD remember. But I don't. Usually its locked...)

 

[Shoeless]

8 hours ago, Catwoman said:

 

Is it wrong that I would never want to go to their houses? 

Because seriously, I’m not using a toilet that already has pee in it. I’m just NOT.

 

I know someone that is putting in a composting toilet.  I"m not sure I can get past the idea that they'll be using a litterbox from now on. 

[Katy]

I get squicky about FAMILY members not flushing.  Gross.

[katilac]

On 6/26/2019 at 9:42 PM, WendyAndMilo said:

The boys had walked/crawled into the bathroom to play in the water....the pee water in the toilet.  It was all over them.

PSA: the actual concern here is a toddler drowning in the pee water, not splashing it about. They're top heavy, so it's easy for them to tip over into a toilet or bucket and hard for them to pull themselves up. 

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Maybe she just failed to press the flush handle/button all the way, so she thought she had flushed, but hadn't completely.

[ThisIsTheDay]

I had a friend visit from out of state about 15 years ago.  She did not flush.  I always assumed she was just a little nervous visiting, preoccupied,  tired. My kids, however,  who are now adults, found it so strange that they still remember her as "the lady who did not flush. " 

[Ausmumof3]

Unless you’ve got a drop loo I’m flushing!  

[Tap]

My parents home is historic and plumbing was added years after it was built.  My parents room was adjacent to the wall with the plumbing in it. The wall was not insulated at all, and any water running in the entire house, moved through  that wall. It was very loud.  We would get in trouble if we flushed in the middle of the night b/c my mom had insomnia. If you woke her up at night or during a nap....there would be hell to pay!!! She would  know who it was by the sound of the foot steps so you couldn't forget and get get away with it. I was totally paranoid going to the bathroom at night in other people's homes. I never knew what  to do.   

Oh, and the not flushing toilet  paper thing (some septic-tank home rules) and just  tossing it in a corner can was way grosser to me, even as a kid, than leaving pee overnight.  I am guessing it is a matter of what we grow up with.  LOL

Edited July 5, 2019 by Tap

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I guess I don't understand the reaction to someone not flushing? I mean, I'm in the "always flush" crowd, but sometimes people forget, especially when the environment is a little different. I've been known to have to go back and double check, especially these days. But if someone forgot, or even chose not to...I close the lid and flush. I mean, even if she left the lid open but didn't flush, then what's the problem? No flush vapor occurred anyway. 

I kinda feel like I'm missing some part of the equation!

[Guest]

We are ardent flushers in any location. 

[City Mouse]

In general, I say “flush”.

however, last summer our town had severe water restrictions after a wild fire. We saved shower water and kitchen water for flushing, and did not flush liquids only. Most people in our town were doing the same thing. 

When I was growing up, my aunt’s family lived in an old farm house that used a rain water sisters for their water. They(and any visitors) did not flush liquids only.

If the visitor in question lives someplace where water restrictions are common, I would expect that they are doing what is expected where they live.