The budget categories that DH complains about most....

[OrganicJen]

Ok, so if you need to cut back because of an income change, then I can add a few more ideas. We switched to using a laundry soap called Nellies all natural which we buy in huge 5 gal size buckets. It goes on sale every few months so it's very cheap for us per load and is the only natural type we have found that works well for us, even with the cloth diapets. And for the bulk of cleaning products we just get the jugs of Sal Suds which we mix in a spray bottle with mainly distilled water then add a squirt of Sal Suds. A jug can last a year or more. We also use Barkeepers Friend which isn't expensive. For sanitizing we just use bleach which is cheap. So I'm not sure how your household products budget is broken down, but maybe you can save some on cleaning products? We spend far less on food per person and only eat organic and pasture raised, but we grow lots and make everything from scratch...no prepared/boxed foods most of the time including that I bake all our bread etc. I don't even buy flour, I mill it from grain myself. We also spend far less on gifts, as I already explained above in another post, and clothing. I buy nice shoes for myself since my feet aren't growing, but I clean and polish them so they last. The kids grow so fast out of their shoes I don't spend a lot on those. I think for the teenager I spent maybe a few hundred last year for all his shoes and clothes...all clothes from Lands End on sale, with socks and undewear from elsewhere. We spend way less on education but don't have any in DE and get most of the books used or from the library, so maybe $500/year total. Anyway, like I said earlier, a lot of differences are just personal things for each family so what makes sense for one family may not work at all for another.

[Annie G]

Because grocery costs can vary so much regionally, and kids' clothing needs vary based on how fast they grow, how hard they are on clothes, I tend to not focus on a number, but a more in depth look.

 

Are we eating all the food we buy or am I letting things go to waste? Am I eating leftovers, using up the partially used cheese, eating fresh veggies before they go bad? Am I rotating food in the freezer to keep things from becoming lost and getting freezer burn before we eat them? Am I meal planning to make the most out of our grocery budget?

 

Household stuff- am I using too many paper towels instead of grabbing a dishcloth to clean up a spill? Could I eliminate a few cleaners so I don't have to stock so many? Am I shopping sales to stock up on things instead of buying at full price? (Today I bought a multipack of paper towels that is usually $10.99 and was $4.99 today- but I still have to ration them out- don't overuse them just because I have a lot)

 

 

Clothes- Are there too many clothes? Am I buying new clothes because I need them or because I want them? Especially with kids this was a problem- both the desire to have cute new things and also them having too many clothes seemed to mean we never could find the things that go together.

 

When I think a category is too high I spend a few months looking at the breakdown to see where it's going. Groceries/ eating out/ starbucks. Tp/ paper towels/ makeup. Even breaking down gift categories helps. Were the gifts meaningful or just bought for filler to make the number of gifts equal/create a full tree/whatever.

 

 

[ScoutTN]

We are a family of 4 in a fairly lcol area.

 

I don't think your food costs are outrageous at all. That would be the last area I would cut.

 

Your numbers for gifts and clothing are way higher than what we spend, even when measured per person. I think those would be the first area I'd cut, since you have a need to economize.

 

Clothes - consignment and thrift! Nice things for cheap. Takes time to shop that way. We get some shoes new, but not all for kids. Running shoes, always. Boots, never. Dress shoes, maybe. I spend about $250 per person on clothes a year. I am careful about not having more clothes than we need. 

 

Gifts - We do about $900 for the year in gifts. We do token gifts for dh's parents and nicer ones for my mom. My kids' birthdays are in the summer, so camp is their main gift (and they earn part of the cost). They each get a party too, so they get gifts from friends instead of us. For the cost of homemade cake and punch, they get a fun afternoon with friends and 5-8 gifts. 

 

Household supplies - This one can vary widely for me. Some months, I only spend $40, others I am close to $200. Batteries, light bulbs, foil, toiletries etc. all seem to run out at once. I bet you could trim that one too, since circumstances require it. 

 

School costs can be hard to trim, if you need the DE. We spend more than we have to because we outsource some things. If we were in a big crunch, I could cut here, but my kids are younger than yours. 

 

[cjzimmer1]

 

I budge $200/month for clothing for 6 of us (this includes shoes and I usually refuse to buy used or cheap brands because I value feet).

 

$250/month I budget for gifts.  That is 4 kids for birthday and Christmas.  A good bit of extended family that we buy for too for Christmas and some for Birthday too.  We do not usually by gifts for each other.  

 

$1100/month for food.  This is gluten free, dairy free which is painful sometimes.  We don't each much organic at all.  We limit meat to cheaper cuts.  I am picky about chicken though.  I buy the natural Springer Mountain farms chicken but I wait for it to be clearanced.

 

$250/month for general household.  Toilet paper, cleaning products, office supplies, etc, etc.  

 

$450/month for school.  Older two HS kiddos take DE at college and it is a great price but not super cheap, especially the textbooks and I can never seem to find them used.  I feel like this school rigs their textbooks so  you have to buy from them.  Youngest can still use most things hand me down.   He is still pretty cheap, haha.

 

So here....I open myself up to judgement.  Is this unreasonable?  

 

Here's my thoughts.  Clothing seems high.  Admittedly we are not the most fashion concentious people, but we spend about $75 a month for a family of 8.  The only used shoes we do are for dress shoes that are only worn rarely and for a small amount of time.  Anything that gets regular use is brand new.  But we have found some amazing deals on shoes.  Costco  tennis shoes are some of the most comfortable I've ever worn and at $13 a pair, everyone in the house has two pairs of them (one for yard/dirty work and one for being presentable when in public).  Husband wears Rockports because he is on his feet so much for work.  I've never bought shoes off the internet before but when Amazon had the style he currently wears on sale for $35, I bought 2.  I won't have to buy him anymore shoes for 2-3 years.  Also my oldest is a a very tall beanpole.  I can barely find him clothes new let alone used (I've found 1 brand of jeans that makes his size).  But we compensate with his wardrobe because he's happy wearing plain t-shirts.  The other things is to consider the quantity of clothing each person has.  We really try to limit how much we buy but I still feel like my kids have way to much.  Almost every teenager I know has clothes with tags on which means they probably have too much too.

 

Gifts, again super high for us.  our budget is $75 a month.  That covers our kids, weddings, birthdays parties and Christmas gifts for my parents, sisters, and nieces and nephews.  

 

Food is a little higher than ours (plus we are feeding 2 more) but food costs vary so very much that unless you know you are buying a lot of packaged food that you could make cheaper.  I probably would leave that alone for now.

 

General household is about $100 a month more than us but that will depends what you lump in there.  For us it includes not only the TP, cleaning supplies, etc but anything that is needing replacing for daily living.  So if towels are worn out and needing replacing they come out of the household budget, same for new kitchen gadgets.  We do have a budget for home repair that will cover things relating to the structure of the house (and this would include bigger items and things for outside maintenance).  So again this can be a pretty gray area depending on how much is being lumped there.

 

School costs especially when they include outsourced classes (whether online or just DE) are pretty much fixed cost in my mind.  So if that's what it's costs, that's what it costs.  There really isn't much to complain about or change there.

[historically accurate]

$5,400 per year for school seems high to me. Are the DE classes things that will give transferable college credit towards any major?

 

 

To me too.  My son did DE for over a year.  

 

He had to pay  $350 fee for the year for parking and security, etc....and those were even if he took online classes (where he didn't need security) and without a car to park anyway.  

 

And each class, since he was in computer labs, was $75 for lab fees.

 

Books might be $300/year.

 

So, roughly $1,000-$1,200 per year for all expenses, other than transportation.

 

 

My oldest does DE; we pay full fare here in IL, so $115 per credit hour at the local cc. Plus fees & books. Hers is about $2500 per year for 3/4 time. DH is also taking 3/4 time, but we do get tuition reimbursement for his (but reimbursement comes with strings for a year, so I am not using it in case we need to turn it back in). I budget $350/mo for the two of them.

[DawnM]

I think this varies a lot based on state.  Where we live, homeschooled high schoolers who want to take college classes have to pay the regular tuition rate.  Even at our local (crappy) community college, that is $113 per contact hour, and many classes we may someday be interested in (foreign language, lab science, computer science) are 4 credit classes = $450 per class.  Plus a couple hundred dollars in fees, plus books, plus $300 for parking per semester, plus, plus, plus...

 

Wendy

 

that is about our cost for reg. tuition as well.  But she said it was free tuition.

Edited December 30, 2017 by DawnM

[DawnM]

My oldest does DE; we pay full fare here in IL, so $115 per credit hour at the local cc. Plus fees & books. Hers is about $2500 per year for 3/4 time. DH is also taking 3/4 time, but we do get tuition reimbursement for his (but reimbursement comes with strings for a year, so I am not using it in case we need to turn it back in). I budget $350/mo for the two of them.

 

OP, is it not free tuition?

Ours is the same as you are quoting, but for reg. pricing, not DE.

Edited December 30, 2017 by DawnM

[freesia]

We did a number of online classes for ds bc he wasn't working well for me.  It was a "need."  However, we could have put him in school.  We could have powered through. It sure was nice and helped us reach our educational goals for him/us.  But, if I'm honest, it was a luxury.

 

Dd is in high school right now and we are trying to make the budget stretch for ds to go away to college.  Realistically, I might be able to keep her online French class, but that is it.  Then I might have to let that go and switch her to AP English Lang. instead (or teach it myself).  I wish she could do her science online, but, what now seems like "what we do" may have to go bc the money isn't there if we want ds to go away to college.

 

DE is something that can be cut.  You could self study AP.

[Bootsie]

Has he looked at the particular categories to see if there are ways he thinks those particular categories could be cut.  The household category sounds high to me, but then I thought about what might be included in that:  shampoo, laundry detergent, sunscreen, ibuprofen, toothpaste, mouthwash, bug spray, light bulbs, AC filters, batteries for flashlights, wrapping paper for Christmas gifts--depending on what is included that may or may not be a lot.  As far as gifts, would he like to reduce the amount for kids at Christmas time or birthdays?  Would he like to reduce the amount for extended family?  

 

As for clothing, I found that our budget in that area needed to vary quite a bit from year to year.  If the kids were going through a big growth spurt the budget differed significantly.  DH and I have a hard time finding comfortable shoes; neither of us can wear inexpensive shoes; DH shoes almost always have to be special ordered.  We purchase shoes infrequently, but when we do, they are expensive--and if DH find some that are comfortable, he will often buy several pairs.  One child has similiar feet.  The other child can easily wear inexpensive shoes; that child is also hard on shoes; it doesn't matter if the shoes cost $5 or $200, the shoes are torn up within a couple of months.  I finally realized it was not worth purchasing expensive shoes for that child.  

[itsheresomewhere]

I understand the shoes completely and think some people will not understand if they don’t have feet problems. I don’t simp on shoes for us. I do wish I could get my shoes, ds’s And DH’s for 75 each. Between sizing, it doesn’t happen unless I can find a rare deal on amazon for 80.

 

Perhaps, check amazon or jet for prices on the household and maybe some food items. I save a bit using those options for household ( and that is how we got a six month supply of toilet paper).

[bettyandbob]

Dh decided cell phones were a rip-off. He did tons of research and figured out the best way to get decent phobes from eBay and get decent not contract plans for everyone.

 

Then he didn't like our land line. We now have a phone in the house with our same phone number and extensions in various rooms as we previously had. However it is really an additional line on our cellular plan. For the house and 4 cell phones he has cut out approximately $150 in monthly costs.

 

He also attacked our TV costs. We used to package internet and TV. We dropped cable TV. The cable company in makes it sound like cable and internet must be packaged to save. However, getting internet only and adding Netflix and Hulu nets us over $100 saved from before.

 

If your dh doesn't like grocery budget, then he needs to be part of the solution. My dh started doing grocery shopping when I work on weekends. He shops 3 stores and knows which store has the best prices on certain items.

 

In the op situation, we would (and have) made major cuts in the gift and clothing budgets.

[Carrie12345]

 

There are 6 of us.  

 

I budge $200/month for clothing 

$1100/month for food. 

$250/month for general household.  

$450/month for school. 

 

So here....I open myself up to judgement.  Is this unreasonable?  

 

I don't think any of your areas are unreasonable, under normal circumstances.  My budget would look pretty similar for clothes and school, if I wrote it out, with 6.5 people.

 

I usually budget about $1000 for food, without any dietary restrictions.  But, with careful pantry stocking, well-used leftovers, and some creativity, I can go weeks with $150 bills from the grocery without feeling deprived.  I could cut even further by giving up a few unnecessary odds and ends.  I wouldn't be able to do it *every* week, because it would prevent me from stockpiling the sales and run the pantry down, but it gives a whole lot of wiggle room!

My $1,000 does include most household items, though.  Toilet paper, paper towels, cleaners (I love Better Life products, but I've switched to Method for the savings,) pet foods (grain free,) shower products, and, lately, laundry detergent because I've been too lazy to make more of my own.

[wendyroo]

that is about our cost for reg. tuition as well.  But she said it was free tuition.

 

Did she say that in a later post?

 

In the first post she said:

"$450/month for school.  Older two HS kiddos take DE at college and it is a great price but not super cheap, especially the textbooks and I can never seem to find them used.  I feel like this school rigs their textbooks so  you have to buy from them.  Youngest can still use most things hand me down.   He is still pretty cheap, haha."

 

Plus I just can't imagine budgeting $450 per month if DE is free.

 

Wendy

[QueenCat]

To me too.  My son did DE for over a year.  

 

He had to pay  $350 fee for the year for parking and security, etc....and those were even if he took online classes (where he didn't need security) and without a car to park anyway.  

 

And each class, since he was in computer labs, was $75 for lab fees.

 

Books might be $300/year.

 

So, roughly $1,000-$1,200 per year for all expenses, other than transportation.

 

I wish...... when mine did DE, they had to pay the same per credit tuition that the regular students paid.

[QueenCat]

I don't think anything sounds outlandish in your budget, but so much of that is subjective, depending on income, desires, etc. Dh doesn't complain, except about shoes since everytime I leave the house to buy a pair, I come back with two pairs. But it's not a real complaint, more of a "seriously, you don't have enough of those," as he laughs. He would only have an issue with any part of the budget or spending if I was spending money that we did not have..... he's not worried about my spending our retirement money since that is done via payroll, so it's going where it's supposed to right away. 

[eternalsummer]

I am just going to be transparent here....I know that the response from you all will vary greatly because we are all from different walks of life, different incomes, different regions with different economies, etc. 

 

We have tracked spending in YNAB for years.  DH hates the amount we spend in gifts, clothing, household, school, and food. 

 

There are 6 of us.  

 

I budge $200/month for clothing for 6 of us (this includes shoes and I usually refuse to buy used or cheap brands because I value feet).

 

$250/month I budget for gifts.  That is 4 kids for birthday and Christmas.  A good bit of extended family that we buy for too for Christmas and some for Birthday too.  We do not usually by gifts for each other.  

 

$1100/month for food.  This is gluten free, dairy free which is painful sometimes.  We don't each much organic at all.  We limit meat to cheaper cuts.  I am picky about chicken though.  I buy the natural Springer Mountain farms chicken but I wait for it to be clearanced.

 

$250/month for general household.  Toilet paper, cleaning products, office supplies, etc, etc.  

 

$450/month for school.  Older two HS kiddos take DE at college and it is a great price but not super cheap, especially the textbooks and I can never seem to find them used.  I feel like this school rigs their textbooks so  you have to buy from them.  Youngest can still use most things hand me down.   He is still pretty cheap, haha.

 

So here....I open myself up to judgement.  Is this unreasonable?  

 

 

I don't think it's unreasonable, necessarily.  You spend much less on food than we do with a family of 8 (and ours are smaller than yours on average, I think).  Like, you spend maybe half or 1/3 as much.  I think you are doing fine on food.

 

Does your family have foot problems that you're particularly worried about, or are they predisposed to foot problems?  I don't know how likely used shoes are to cause foot problems in healthy-footed people, but anecdotally, as a kid I don't know that I ever owned a new pair of shoes, and certainly as an adult I mostly have not, nor have our kids.  Neither I nor they have ever had any foot problems.  We also buy used clothes, and not too many of them.  Maybe we spend $500/year on clothing and shoes, basically through two big shops (one in Sep. for winter clothes, one in May for summer clothes). DH almost never buys clothes and only buys one pair of shoes every 4-5 years, though. 

 

As for gifts, we don't buy for extended family for birthdays or Christmas, and we have smallish kids so birthdays tend to be well under $100 and Christmas is maybe $1k total.  

[eternalsummer]

Lawdy, ain't that the truth  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

 

I feel like non-grocery is so high as well and I have no idea why?  Meds are separate.  It does include skin care, makeup, my haircuts (I only go 2-3 times a year), office supplies (ink for the printer, paper, etc), soap, deodorant, etc, etc.  I have sensitive skin and I can't use cheap makeup but I don't buy it often.  I feel like we go through an ungodly amount of toilet paper and flushable wipes  :huh:   I buy the sams brand in the large pack but we seem to go through it so fast.  DS does have a chronic illness that involves the intestines and he uses a ton though.  I cut everyone's hair in our house and just pay for haircuts for me because DH isn't cutting my hair  :lol:

 

Okay, yes, these are some of the places where, if you wanted to cut back, you could.  Not that you have to or should feel you have to, but if you don't have the money, these are optional:

makeup

haircuts

skin care (unless you have a medical condition)

deodorant

 

The flushable wipes sound like something your DS needs so I wouldn't worry about it.

 

I haven't used makeup, skin care products (other than a basic lotion in the winter), deodorant, or had a haircut in many years, basically since we were quite poor and there was no money for it - once I got out of the habit I just never got back into it.

[Soror]

For us, if we really needed to tighten belts, these would all have to go (in no particular order):

 

Gifts.

School - either homeschool or public.

Household can probably be cut by 1/3 to 1/2.

 

Areas to reduce:

Clothing - Goodwill, yard sale, reduce expectations

Food - Gf can be a little cheaper, but it takes study and time - start a thread for tips if interested

 

I do NOT think any category is remotely unreasonable except Gifts. But if you ain't got it, you ain't got it.

 

Flushable wipes are so expensive, but if they are a need, I would call them pharmaceutical or medical, instead of categorizing with household.

I agree, it doesn't matter if it is reasonable or not, if you don't have the money you can't afford it and the gifts are wants and I'd venture to guess a very large chunk of the clothes are as well with 4 out of 6 being full grown.

[Crimson Wife]

Okay, yes, these are some of the places where, if you wanted to cut back, you could.  Not that you have to or should feel you have to, but if you don't have the money, these are optional:

makeup

haircuts

skin care (unless you have a medical condition)

deodorant

 

The flushable wipes sound like something your DS needs so I wouldn't worry about it.

 

I haven't used makeup, skin care products (other than a basic lotion in the winter), deodorant, or had a haircut in many years, basically since we were quite poor and there was no money for it - once I got out of the habit I just never got back into it.

 

The OP mentioned that she works at a paid job (ETA: it's in the other thread discussing the impending loss of overtime at her DH's job). Maintaining a professional-looking appearance may require a level of makeup, hair cuts & styling, and grooming that we SAHM's don't have to worry about.

 

I am *SO* not looking forward to the hit on our budget once my clinical practica start and I have to go back to maintaining a professional-looking appearance.

Edited December 30, 2017 by Crimson Wife

[Carol in Cal.]

Something else to do is implement a homemade gifts strategy.

If you're in the kind of family that likes that kind of thing, it can be very economical and quite personal.

I have a cousin who fools around with this.  This year she made soaps, and they are NICE, and were probably inexpensive for her.  One year she bought puffy lacey dishtowel blanks and tie dyed them.  (I'm thinking she got the supplies at New Dharma in San Rafael, CA--that's the best place I know of for that kind of thing.  The prices are good and they have a website and ship.) 

 

One year I made three big batches of homemade playdough in primary colors, and divided it up so that each family of littles (there were three) got a set of each color.  That was a popular gift, especially since homemade playdough is a lot softer than store bought. 

 

For adults one year I made rosemary hair rinse, gifted it in leftover plastic shampoo bottles that I saved for a long time and then decorated, and included a thrift store creamer to heat it up in and pour it from.  Very inexpensive and personal.

 

Once I decided to weave inkle loom ribbons for presents.  The idea was to use them for years, passing them around and around, which backfired because mostly people kept theirs, but that was a nice compliment in its own way.

 

Also, if your kids are in activities, ask about full or partial scholarships.  The year that DH was laid off we requested assistance from her choral group.  She attended free that year, and in later more prosperous years I donated more than we saved, so that worked out for everyone.  Large company activities are easier to do this with than one on one classes, because they will hold the classes whether your child is there or not, so the incremental cost of helping you is usually a lot less than the tuition loss would be. 

Edited December 31, 2017 by Carol in Cal.

[Bambam]

Your numbers seem high to me, but we live in a low cost of living area, and you may not. 

I find it helpful to look at per month cost and total cost per year.

 

$200/month for 6 people - clothing = $2,400/year or $400/person. That seems like a lot for adults who might really only need one pair of shoes and some underthings.  We buy a lot of our clothing at consignment/resale/thrift stores, so that really helps us cut clothing expenses - but my kids are pretty much full size and not growing anymore (I hope!)

 

$250/month for gifts = $3,000/year. Wow If I divide that by 6 (I know you said you only buy gifts for 4 kids and some extended family) I get $500/person. I'd tell the extended family no gift exchange this year - or we draw one name out of the hat. We don't send presents to extended family. We do send cards, but no regular presents. If we see something just perfect for someone, and it is inexpensive and we can afford it, yes, we will get it. Otherwise no. 

 

$1100/month for food.  - no clues about this. It seems reasonable. Still that is $13,200/year. 

 

$250/month for general household = again = $3,000/year. That seems high unless this includes high end cosmetics, meds, contact solutions/contacts, etc. 

 

$450/month for school - wow - it looks like you only have two older kids taking DE classes? $5,400 per year?  That is high for our area (about $220 for a three credit class plus course fees ($0-$60 per class)  but it may just cost more for yours. Regarding books being specific for each school - our local CC does this - they have special XXX College editions. Just go look at the bookstore - figure out which textbook, edition, author - take that and search Amazon/ebay/whatever. We've found the exact same book - except for the page that says "Special XXX College edition" and has a map of the campus on the other side - for much less money.

 

If you have to cut your budget, it comes down to what are your priorities? If I had to cut this budget, I'd tell extended family we were not exchanging gifts anymore, so please don't get us any (typically in our extended family, grandparents/aunts/uncles do get presents for under 18 year olds, and we've tried to discourage that, but they do not listen). I'd also examine the financial advantage for dual credit. I know DE is normally cheaper than regular college, but would your kids get free financial help based on reduced income? If so, and the school is local, it may make sense to wait.  I'd also be encouraging my kids to get part time jobs - at local stores or babysitting or mowing lawns or shoveling snow (does anyone still do that?) and help pay for their DE classes. 

[Debbi in Texas]

Those of you who don't do gifts with extended family, do you mean you don't buy gifts for your parents and in-laws? Nothing for their birthdays or Christmas? No flowers or cards for Mother's/Father's Day?

 

As Jen said, no judgement. I just find it interesting to see how other families work.

 

The only gift I buy for my parents is mother's day/father's day. Several years ago, we realized all we were doing was trading cash or gift cards. We decided that was foolish, so made the decision to stop. I do exchange birthday gifts with my sister and get her grandchildren gifts.

[ebrindam]

 

Can your older kids work to pay for their clothes and shoes? 

 

 

I really think clothes and shoes are a basic necessity that parents should supply. 

[ebrindam]

I don't think that we can determine reasonable. For our family, all of those budget items would be low. I agree with good shoes and would never buy used. If your family is needing to use credit cards to pay for things, then the amounts are too high. If not, your DH probably needs to shop with you to see how reasonable it all actually is!

[Melinda in VT]

I really think clothes and shoes are a basic necessity that parents should supply.

Once I was old enough to work, I bought my own clothes and shoes and paid for my activities. It seemed a natural progression from child to contributing member of the family.

[DawnM]

I wish...... when mine did DE, they had to pay the same per credit tuition that the regular students paid.

 

We actually graduated him early because the DE didn't offer what he needed and he wasn't allowed to go "off the list" for classes until he finished the list.  

 

But if you have to pay for tuition, that does change things.  Still, we have been paying about $3,000/year which is still pretty inexpensive.

[DawnM]

Did she say that in a later post?

 

In the first post she said:

"$450/month for school.  Older two HS kiddos take DE at college and it is a great price but not super cheap, especially the textbooks and I can never seem to find them used.  I feel like this school rigs their textbooks so  you have to buy from them.  Youngest can still use most things hand me down.   He is still pretty cheap, haha."

 

Plus I just can't imagine budgeting $450 per month if DE is free.

 

Wendy

 

Yeah, I read that wrong, sorry.

[DawnM]

 

 

$450/month for school.  Older two HS kiddos take DE at college and it is a great price but not super cheap, especially the textbooks and I can never seem to find them used.  I feel like this school rigs their textbooks so  you have to buy from them.  Youngest can still use most things hand me down.   He is still pretty cheap, haha.

 

So here....I open myself up to judgement.  Is this unreasonable?  

 

Thought.....could you graduate them early, pay the same amount, but then qualify for the tax credits and get the money back?

 

You could get up to $4,500 back PER CHILD (as much as you are paying anyway) if they are college kids.

 

https://www.efile.com/student-education-college-tuition-tax-credits-hope-life-time-learning-credit/

Edited December 31, 2017 by DawnM

[nixpix5]

It is totally reasonable in my opinion. Although if I was going to cut, it would be gifts. I would do a no or low gift year. Just tell people they are getting homemade items this year :)

[historically accurate]

If you have it to spend, they're reasonable. If you're looking to cut back, then there are areas where you could save. Honestly, you could definitely go lower on every budget, but I could spend those amounts pretty easily if I had it available.

 

If you're looking to cut, my suggestions are below:

 

• gifts -  Make a list of everyone and an idea of what you want to buy - does it come to $3000 or is other stuff creeping into this budget area? Can you bake/ sew/ do some sort of craft for some of the gifts to lower this? If you need to cut gift recipients, I'd cut friends, then extended family, then spouse, then kids, in that order until you get to the budget you want to be at. 
• clothing - do a full inventory of everyone - Does anyone really need clothes? if so, make a list and find the best price available for that item. if not, see how long you can go before you have to spend.
• household - this seems high to me. Do you have any cleaning supplies you bought that you didn't like and shoved to the back of the cupboard you could use? Travel toiletries drawer? (I used our supply for this whole past summer) Stretch out haircuts an extra couple of weeks or try a groupon for a new salon? 
• school - shop your shelves/computer files first - do you have something that might work for homeschooling (maybe not as easily or as well, but good enough)? 
• food - menu plan, make sure you are not throwing away food, always shop with a list & make sure to check the freezer, fridge and pantry for the ingredients first

[Bootsie]

I find it a bit difficult to compare how much is spent in a particular category without knowing more about what is included in a category.  I know a family who spends almost nothing on clothing but has a very large Christmas gift budget.  Christmas gifts include pajamas, sweaters, socks and underwear for the year and other clothing items--including shoes.  I might spend more on a child in a gift category one year, but the gift is also an item used for a school class--a musical instrument may be a Christmas gift, but I would spend some money on a fine arts elective or a microscope may be a birthday gift, but it is also used in science class.  Some people would include a museum membership or travel in an entertainment budget, others would consider it part of the school budget if the activities are educational in nature.  

[eternalsummer]

The OP mentioned that she works at a paid job (ETA: it's in the other thread discussing the impending loss of overtime at her DH's job). Maintaining a professional-looking appearance may require a level of makeup, hair cuts & styling, and grooming that we SAHM's don't have to worry about.

 

I am *SO* not looking forward to the hit on our budget once my clinical practica start and I have to go back to maintaining a professional-looking appearance.

 

 

Ah, I forgot she worked outside the home.  I guess the makeup requirement in that case depends on the nature of the job.

[Tap]

We are a family of 5 and spend more than you do in all category so they seem very reasonable to me.  I live outside of Portland Oregon, so while we are not in a super high cost of living area, it isn't a cheap on either.  I don't buy used clothes but tend to shop at discounted stores like TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Nordstrom Rack etc.

 

 

Add to those expenses 5 cell phones at $200mth and 3 cars maintenance/gas etc $700+mth (luckily dh has a company car). 

Plus $5,000 to $10,000 in medical expenses. 

[Crimson Wife]

I really think clothes and shoes are a basic necessity that parents should supply. 

 

Parents should meet basic needs for clothing and shoes but the typical teen wants more than that. A lot of the money I earned as a teen went towards supplementing the basic wardrobe my parents supplied.

 

My 15 y.o. just bought a second pair of sneakers with the earnings from her PT job. She doesn't need them as she has a perfectly functional pair of sneakers. But she liked the way these other ones looked so she spent her own money on them.

[La Condessa]

There are 6 of us.  

 

I budge $200/month for clothing for 6 of us (this includes shoes and I usually refuse to buy used or cheap brands because I value feet).

 

$250/month I budget for gifts.  That is 4 kids for birthday and Christmas.  A good bit of extended family that we buy for too for Christmas and some for Birthday too.  We do not usually by gifts for each other.  

 

$1100/month for food.  This is gluten free, dairy free which is painful sometimes.  We don't each much organic at all.  We limit meat to cheaper cuts.  I am picky about chicken though.  I buy the natural Springer Mountain farms chicken but I wait for it to be clearanced.

 

$250/month for general household.  Toilet paper, cleaning products, office supplies, etc, etc.  

 

$450/month for school.  Older two HS kiddos take DE at college and it is a great price but not super cheap, especially the textbooks and I can never seem to find them used.  I feel like this school rigs their textbooks so  you have to buy from them.  Youngest can still use most things hand me down.   He is still pretty cheap, haha.

 

So here....I open myself up to judgement.  Is this unreasonable?  

 

Since you're explicitly asking . . . Yes, those all seem really, really high to me (with the exception of the DE college costs, for which I have no frame of reference).

 

I thought your food budget was really high (we just expanded ours to $700), but thought, well their kids are surely eating a lot more with their ages, and they have some special food needs, so I guess--but then I saw that you have a large separate category for household items.  $1350 per month just for food and household items.  Wowzer!

 

You are spending twenty-four hundred dollars per year on clothes alone--and probably only two members of your family are still in the stage where they outgrow their clothes and need new before they actually need replacing.  What do you spend that all on?  Even if you like to buy expensive, name-brand shoes, shouldn't that translate into better wear, so that they last a long time and don't have to be bought as often?  If it doesn't, what's the point in buying them?  Do you have runners who actually need specialized footwear?

 

And $3000 per year on gifts.  You are surely very generous people.  That is certainly an admirable trait, but I doubt that any loving family members would have trouble understanding if you are not free to be so materially generous at times when your finances are tighter.

Edited December 31, 2017 by La Condessa

[kiwik]

Gifts seems high to me. Clothes - if you buy a good pair of summer and winter shoes for each of you that is a lot. I spend $100 twice a year on each boy and about $250 every 2 years on me though I would like to spend another $170 on a good pair of sandals every few years. So if there were 6 of us I could easily spend $100 a month on shoes. $100 more on clothes maybe not but it depends on needs. Food is not comparable so I don't know.

[eternalsummer]

But why would you need to buy a pair of summer and winter shoes every single year if you are buying really high quality shoes?

 

If you are buying $50 shoes twice a year for a 5 year old, okay, but can't you resell them if you absolutely must buy new twice a year?

[HomeAgain]

But why would you need to buy a pair of summer and winter shoes every single year if you are buying really high quality shoes?

 

If you are buying $50 shoes twice a year for a 5 year old, okay, but can't you resell them if you absolutely must buy new twice a year?

 

I can only answer for myself here, but when my kids were little they were so hard on their shoes that we had to go for quality to make sure they weren't destroyed in a month BUT they were still destroyed 4 months later.  We measured how much youngest ds walked in a 2 week period- 97 miles. And that was just with an adult wearing a fitbit was with him, not all the little walking bits. :huh:  I didn't complain about his shoes after that.

At 7, he has different shoes for different activities so they get less wear overall, but even so his daily sneakers need to be replaced after 6 months.  DS18 can make his stretch for about 8 months but he does a lot of activity, too.

[homemommy83]

I am just going to be transparent here....I know that the response from you all will vary greatly because we are all from different walks of life, different incomes, different regions with different economies, etc. 

 

We have tracked spending in YNAB for years.  DH hates the amount we spend in gifts, clothing, household, school, and food. 

 

There are 6 of us.  â€‹There are 8 of us here.

 

I budge $200/month for clothing for 6 of us (this includes shoes and I usually refuse to buy used or cheap brands because I value feet).

That is 400 per person per year- I think this is very reasonable- socks/ underwear/ shoes can take 1/3 of that easily

 

$250/month I budget for gifts.  That is 4 kids for birthday and Christmas.  A good bit of extended family that we buy for too for Christmas and some for Birthday too.  We do not usually by gifts for each other.

​We spend about 1/2 that for our family, but we really limit the amount of gifts as we have a small home.  I definitely think this is very reasonable.

 

 

$1100/month for food.  This is gluten free, dairy free which is painful sometimes.  We don't each much organic at all.  We limit meat to cheaper cuts.  I am picky about chicken though.  I buy the natural Springer Mountain farms chicken but I wait for it to be clearanced.

​We budget 400 monthly which is up from less (which wasn't as healthy either), but we just don't buy snack food or "drinks".  We have to keep ours low as that is all we have to budget.  If we had more I would get better cuts of meat once a weak and more fresh fruit.  I do spend most of our money on vegetables, beans, and tomatoes (yes they get there own category-lol).  Our ideal "easier" budget would be 600.

 

$250/month for general household.  Toilet paper, cleaning products, office supplies, etc, etc.  

​This is pretty much right on the money here, but last year I cut it to 100 as that is what we had- 200 is so much better for daily life-lol.

 

$450/month for school.  Older two HS kiddos take DE at college and it is a great price but not super cheap, especially the textbooks and I can never seem to find them used.  I feel like this school rigs their textbooks so  you have to buy from them.  Youngest can still use most things hand me down.   He is still pretty cheap, haha.

​I don't have any children taking classes outside of the home, as it wouldn't fit our budget at all- so I have no idea what would be decent pricing on those.  Our yearly budget has ranged from 200-1000 in the past, and after our oldest is a senior- it will drop to only purchasing consumables for each younger child.  My opinion is that all money spent educating our children is a blessing to them- and is never wasted.

 

So here....I open myself up to judgement.  Is this unreasonable?  

​I think that as long as you aren't going into debt to make the above happen- then is is definitely reasonable.

 

Brenda

 

[Ann.without.an.e]

We are a family of 5 and spend more than you do in all category so they seem very reasonable to me.  I live outside of Portland Oregon, so while we are not in a super high cost of living area, it isn't a cheap on either.  I don't buy used clothes but tend to shop at discounted stores like TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Nordstrom Rack etc.

 

 

Add to those expenses 5 cell phones at $200mth and 3 cars maintenance/gas etc $700+mth (luckily dh has a company car). 

Plus $5,000 to $10,000 in medical expenses. 

 

 

Yep, we have the 5 cell phones and three cars too, ugh.  Crazy right?   We didn't buy DS's car.  It was a hand me down from a family member.  My vehicle is older and getting up there in miles.  

[itsheresomewhere]

But why would you need to buy a pair of summer and winter shoes every single year if you are buying really high quality shoes?

 

If you are buying $50 shoes twice a year for a 5 year old, okay, but can't you resell them if you absolutely must buy new twice a year?

I think they are probably like us and we wear the shoes out. We are active people and our shoes just get worn out.

[Ann.without.an.e]

OP, is it not free tuition?

Ours is the same as you are quoting, but for reg. pricing, not DE.

 

 

 

No, it isn't free.  It is $400/class/per semester.  They take two classes per semester so that is $3200/year just for those two classes. Then, we have to add books and they are taking a class or two online.  Youngest one uses almost all hand me down stuff.  I could do everything at home with DD but not with DS.  I just can't be his primary teacher.  I brought him home from private school so we are saving money having him home.  Public School simply wouldn't work for him.

[homemommy83]

Dh decided cell phones were a rip-off. He did tons of research and figured out the best way to get decent phobes from eBay and get decent not contract plans for everyone.

 

Then he didn't like our land line. We now have a phone in the house with our same phone number and extensions in various rooms as we previously had. However it is really an additional line on our cellular plan. For the house and 4 cell phones he has cut out approximately $150 in monthly costs.

 

He also attacked our TV costs. We used to package internet and TV. We dropped cable TV. The cable company in makes it sound like cable and internet must be packaged to save. However, getting internet only and adding Netflix and Hulu nets us over $100 saved from before.

 

If your dh doesn't like grocery budget, then he needs to be part of the solution. My dh started doing grocery shopping when I work on weekends. He shops 3 stores and knows which store has the best prices on certain items.

 

In the op situation, we would (and have) made major cuts in the gift and clothing budgets.

​I whole-heartedly agree about making your husband be part of the process.  I found that by encouraging (forcing-lol) him to go to the grocery store- he realized prices weren't from the 1920s anymore-lol.  He thought 150 every two weeks was too much-until he shopped with me.  He appreciates my frugality now-lol.

[regentrude]

Thought.....could you graduate them early, pay the same amount, but then qualify for the tax credits and get the money back?

 

You could get up to $4,500 back PER CHILD (as much as you are paying anyway) if they are college kids.

 

https://www.efile.com/student-education-college-tuition-tax-credits-hope-life-time-learning-credit/

 

Not sure how you come up with $4,500 per child. You can only take either the American Opportunity or the Lifetime Learning credit.

[DawnM]

Not sure how you come up with $4,500 per child. You can only take either the American Opportunity or the Lifetime Learning credit.

 

  Oh, right, sorry.  Either way, she can cut expenses there, just looking for ways to help cut expenses.  So, $2,500 per child possibly, still saving $5,000/year for two kids.

 

https://www.taxslayer.com/support/923/What-are-the-differences-between-the-American-Opportunity-Credit-and-the-Lifetime-Learning-Credit

Edited December 31, 2017 by DawnM

[regentrude]

  Oh, right, sorry.  Either way, she can cut expenses there, just looking for ways to help cut expenses.  So, $2,500 per child possibly, still saving $5,000/year for two kids.

 

But it's also important to take into account that the American Opportunity Credit is limited to four years per student. So it's not wise to burn that on part time enrollment. And the income limits for the lifetime learning credits are lower.

[Garga]

If I was your DH, I’d wonder about those categories as well. It’s natural for someone who doesn’t do the shopping not to understand prices of things.

 

If you’re open to things changing, you could ask DH to work with you as a team trying to figure out ways to cut back in those areas. But you’ll have to be very open to his ideas. You can’t shoot down everything he says. You can’t get defensive if you feel like he’s criticizing the way you’ve been spending in the past. In the past, you’ve had the money, so it’s been ok. If he starts poking around at what you spend the money on, it might feel like he’s thinking you were wasting the money. You weren’t. You had it. But now he might have suggestions on how to cut back. You’d have to be willing to try his suggestions. And conversely, he’d have to be able to hear you if he comes up with something off the wall that honestly won’t work. Not all marriages can handle this sort of thing well, honestly. But if you can both be open-minded and see it not as pointing fingers at each other or proving oneself to be right, then you two might end up brainstorming and coming up with some areas to cut back.

 

For the shoes—does everyone have foot problems? I don’t have foot problems and can buy cheap shoes. If you all have foot problems, then you’re stuck with expensive shoes. But if you don’t all have foot problems, buy some cheap shoes. If those shoes end up hurting, then go back to the expensive ones. Without established foot issues, I’d stop spending $75 per pair of shoes. That’s a lot of money. Only spend that much on people who actually have foot issues. Or only on the shoes they go running in. The shoes they wear around the house can be cheaper, if they don’t have foot problems.

 

You can most certainly cut back on the gift category. It won’t be any fun at all. If you weren’t having a $20k paycut, I’d say keep buying the gifts, but your reality is that there’s a paycut coming and gifts are 100% optional. You’ll just have to be up front with everyone that there will have to be changes and try to be clever about gift giving. Instead of showering each person with lots of gifts, it’ll have to be just a few that are well-chosen.

[Garga]

Dp

Edited December 31, 2017 by Garga

[DawnM]

But it's also important to take into account that the American Opportunity Credit is limited to four years per student. So it's not wise to burn that on part time enrollment. And the income limits for the lifetime learning credits are lower.

 

If she qualifies, she can take the other one.  There is no limit on that one.

 

That is why I provided the link, she can look and decide what will help out, if either one of them will.

[frogger]

Attolia, some of these sound judgy to me but I'm sure they are trying to be helpful so I hope you put on your thick skin when you started this thread.  :)

 

I remember people not believing my food plus household items I posted here many years ago. I had no idea that life is different with littles for one. My 18 year old currently eats more than all four of my children did back then. I would have scoffed big time at my current grocery budget back when I had little ones and even when I had medium ones that would eat regular sized adult portions instead of 2 or more times an adult.  It really is hard to compare across families.

 

I'm sure people would be shocked at how much I just spent on clothing the last month. Of course, it also covered our gifts so I only had to take the money out from one budget or another. It would make one or the other look bad but a very warm coat and good socks are all necessary items. To me that saves more than coming up with cheap yet unnecessary gifts.  Also,  adult clothes cost more. A couple family members cannot buy in regular stores. No, Costco does not carry socks for big feet. We live in a cold climate. It is not for fashion that I spend money on good gear. It's so their toes don't fall off after being frozen. Although if they did then I could start buying socks at Costco.  :lol:  Now mind you the coat I just bought for me was on a 60% off clearance but I held out for over a year before finding one. That means I had lots of layers in sometimes 0 degree F weather with no real winter coat since mine fell completely apart because I had it over a decade.  I wouldn't wait that long for my children even if people got judgey on me. And I have only one child left that actually wears children sized clothes. He is at the end of the child section though and he is only 10. Be thankful you who have small children. You don't know what it saves you. 

 

I don't buy prepackaged food but what gets us is fruit and vegetables. Not many others probably spend $3 on a single Avocado. I don't either because I only buy them when I find a special deal but fruit and veggie costs in Alaska are tremendous. So is meat but we don't buy that as often although I wonder how healthy it is for my son to eat so much peanut butter. Really comparisons just don't work. Tell someone in Silicon Valley to keep housing less than a quarter of their income and you might get a look like this.  :blink:  :lol:

 

 

All this to say don't be offended and don't automatically think you are overspending. I'm not saying you are but just a reminder. If you know what you are spending then you must already track, which is good. Some have been good suggestions.  I would just pick one category a week to look at all the costs and see what could have been cut (specifically for your family). We recently switched companies for internet and such. That is the easiest honestly because though it is a pain the month you do it comparing all the special deals, discounts for adding, subtracting, what is actually enough data for your family, etc you only have to do it once and get that same savings every month. 

 

I can't remember where you live but really you will get the best advice from people who have the same needs as you and the same resources. I would get lots of fruit and veggies from farmers if I lived down south. Instead, we eat lots of Salmon and it's cheaper than our fruit and veggies.