Which house to buy?

[planner]

Dh and I are feeling compelled to find a home with a guest home to meet the needs of our special needs son. He wants to be independent but we don't have confidence that he will be able to be independent. We want to get him a level of independence that everyone will be comfortable with. He's only a freshman in high school but we feel like we need to take action now because if interest rates continue to rise, we will be priced out of the market. We would plan on staying in this house forever. Right now, we are considering three options.

 

House 1 is 20 years old with 4 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms on .65 acre. Main house has a 3 car garage although it only has the potential to park 2 cars in it. As it currently sits, only 1 car could be parked in the garage. It has a detached 4 car garage with a 800 sq. ft. 1 bedroom apartment with laundry facilities and a full kitchen. The full kitchen is a big deal. When we moved to our current home, we held to the criteria that each child would have their own bathroom. This is not possible in this house. That is a compromise which dd is very upset by. The house has a swimming pool which is appropriate to our area but something we didn't want for our current home. The house has standard closets and we are used to walk-in closets. There is some deferred maintenance that would need to be given consideration.

 

The house comes furnished. The furnishings are fine, although there is way too much of it. Everything in the house is included and there is simply so much stuff in the house. So much stuff. It's overwhelming. It would be a job to dispose of, although there are some items that I would choose to keep. It also could be an opportunity to recoup some of the house cost. We spent time trying to guess at the cost of the furnishings but so much is antique that it is too hard to guess at. The furnishings could be a liability or a boon. There is no way to know without further research.

 

The neighborhood is a mismatch of homes. There are million dollar homes and homes that are clearly so deferred in maintenance that they're somewhat embarrassing to live by. The house is also outside our current elementary school boundary which dd attends. The school is at capacity so there is no guarantee dd would be allowed to return for next year, which is also the school year she would graduate the school. I have an email into the principal to see about whether she would be allowed to stay, but since school boundaries are likely changing, he may not have an answer. It's also possible that boundary realignments could cause this house to become part of dd's school boundary. I don't want dd to have to change schools. She's had a lot of schooling transition and she's happy where she is at.

 

The house is in the county although it is surrounded by city. County regulations would allow us to rent out the guest house until it is needed for ds. There is no HOA. Dh feels this property would allow ds to have more at home occupational choices as there is plenty of land to allow for other accessory structures. He specifically mentioned dog breeding which dh has experience with. The kitchen is large enough that he could do a food based business as well. DH prefers the width of this garage over House 2 and it is larger than House 3's detached garage.

 

House 2 is new construction. We would be able to have say in all the details.  It has 4 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms, 4 car garage on .45 acre lot. It would have an RV garage with an attached guest home with 1 bedroom and 1 bath. There is contradictory information from the builder regarding laundry facilities in the guest house so that is unclear at this point. The kitchen is not full and is not allowed to have a stove. We think we may have a work around this to redo the kitchen aftermarket but it would technically be an illegal second kitchen. The home meets our bathroom requirements and has walk-in closets. The guest house is smaller than house 1. It is in an HOA which would not allow the guest house to be rented until we need it. It is in our current school boundary and our children have friends who live in this neighborhood. We don't have an RV and likely never will but in order to have the guest house, the RV garage is necessary. Dh does want a detached garage though so it's just a matter of what type of garage. After the RV garage and home are built, there is not much yard left although it's plenty to satisfy our needs.

 

House 3 is also new construction in the same neighborhood as house 2. We can have the say in all the details on this house as well. It can be built on a .45 acre lot or a .70 acre lot. It has 4 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms, 4 car garage. The guest house is contained within the main home. The main house surpasses our bathroom needs and is very functional. It's a bigger house than we need for now, but when you figure the guest house is within the main house, it's perfect for us. We would also build a detached 2 car garage for dh. The guest house can be entered from the outside so ds could have independence. Dh feels the guest house would ideally be separate from the main house but I don't feel that's an issue because it has it's own entrance. The guest house kitchen has the same limitations as house 2. We could alter it but then we would have an illegal kitchen. Depending on which lot, there will either be a great yard space or a smaller yard which meets our needs but doesn't allow for the same opportunities of house 1. The HOA of house 2 and 3 eliminate the possibility of living next to deferred maintenance homes and adds an extra monthly expense for dues but there is a community swimming pool, walking paths, and parks. It would cost the same amount to maintain the pool at house 1 though. 

 

All of the homes are within 1 mile of our current home. We like where we are at. We like the home we are currently in. We just are looking to our future needs and realizing this house won't always meet our needs.

 

The difference in cost of these homes is about $50,000. It's not significant enough of a figure to make a difference as to which home to choose. There are pros and cons to all the options and I'm not sure which direction to proceed so I thought I'd try to get some input from the hive.

[maize]

Ability to have a full kitchen would be a deal breaker for me.

 

Have you looked at houses that do not curently have a guest home but have space available to build one? It really doesn't sound like any of these would be ideal for you at this point.

[Carol in Cal.]

I cannot even imagine having that much space, ever.  Very happy for you, but I'm not going to be any help in deciding, I don't think.

 

[FriedClams]

I'd say number one for the kitchen and more independence. I'd also negotiate they clean it out or pay for someone to do it (and dispose of it all).

[planner]

Ability to have a full kitchen would be a deal breaker for me.

 

Have you looked at houses that do not curently have a guest home but have space available to build one? It really doesn't sound like any of these would be ideal for you at this point.

 

Yes, we looked at several houses that had enough land  to build a guest home. The problem is that amount of land required by ordinance for a guest home puts homes at the top of our price bracket. If the house is nice, we can't afford to build the guest house too. There isn't much to even look at and the one home we did like only had 2.5 bathrooms which makes dd cry when she thinks about sharing a bathroom. I didn't see the point of doing that when everything else still needed to be built. I am willing to make her share for the right situation though. Every house we have looked at has it's own oddities. We saw some strange stuff.

[hellen]

I'm not sure which home you should choose. I just wanted to throw out an idea. Could you do a portable induction burner instead of an illegal range in the new construction homes? A couple of those with a large toaster oven could be enough. It depends on what his future cooking needs will be.

[planner]

I'm not sure which home you should choose. I just wanted to throw out an idea. Could you do a portable induction burner instead of an illegal range in the new construction homes? A couple of those with a large toaster oven could be enough. It depends on what his future cooking needs will be.

Good thing to consider. There are some good toaster ovens our there from what I understand. I'll have to look further into that.

[maize]

With regard to the furniture in the first home, there are businesses that manage estate sales--I'd be inclined to hire one of them to dispose of all the stuff you don't want to keep if you go with home #1.

[Farrar]

I think you can't know. Like, the first house with the kitchen is my gut reaction, especially since you could rent it, but you're gambling on this child's future needs, which is crystal ball gazing to some extent. I get why you need to act now, I just think it's hard. It may be he won't live with you for long or will never need a kitchen at all...

 

The school boundary thing would be my dealbreaker, I think. But it would likely just make me want to wait a year. Or... can you wait until the fall and buy then? In some districts once the school year has started, then you're in. I know that's still waiting and that the market will change though.

[Sherry in OH]

House number one offers the best home-based occupation potential.  

 

If 2.5 bathrooms is not enough for your family, would it be be feasible to add a third full bath?

[AngieC]

#1 sounds like the best option because of the full kitchen and the fact that you could continue to rent it out if your son chooses to not live there at some point.

[Ali in OR]

I personally like option 3. I have a disabled dd (who will never live on her own), and knowing some of her peers who can think of living on their own, I think an attached living arrangement is better. My understanding is that it is only the second kitchen that isn't a full kitchen. When your young man is on his own, it is quite possible that he won't really need a full kitchen. I certainly wouldn't make changes without trying inexpensive "fixes" to the lesser kitchen, like adding a microwave or whatever. Even though you plan for it to be a forever home, I think resale on it would be easy too as there are many families looking for a "mother-in-law" suite. I like the planning and "freshness" that new construction allows. If you have any special needs (we needed wheelchair access for instance), you can arrange that.

[planner]

I personally like option 3. I have a disabled dd (who will never live on her own), and knowing some of her peers who can think of living on their own, I think an attached living arrangement is better. My understanding is that it is only the second kitchen that isn't a full kitchen. When your young man is on his own, it is quite possible that he won't really need a full kitchen. I certainly wouldn't make changes without trying inexpensive "fixes" to the lesser kitchen, like adding a microwave or whatever. Even though you plan for it to be a forever home, I think resale on it would be easy too as there are many families looking for a "mother-in-law" suite. I like the planning and "freshness" that new construction allows. If you have any special needs (we needed wheelchair access for instance), you can arrange that.

I somewhat favor this option too. The only issue I have is that ds is constantly saying that he can't wait to move out. He really thinks he's going to graduate from high school and go away to college. Dh feels that ds won't feel independent if he's attached to the house. House 1 gives the option of a full apartment. The kitchen is larger than some kitchens I've had. It's bigger than the kitchen of the home I grew up in. I feel like it makes a statement that says we believe in him because he would be living the same way as people who live in a one bedroom apartment live. Living with a mini fridge and no stove doesn't send the same message. Perhaps he wouldn't think of it like that though. Maybe I'm just over analyzing this.

[planner]

I forgot to mention that House 1 has septic and a private water company. From what I understand, private water companies can be very expensive. The owners of the home have never lived in it (long story as to why) so there isn't an accurate water bill to evaluate the cost. The house also has a propane tank. House 2 and 3 have sewer and city water as well as natural gas stubbed from the street. 

[Storygirl]

Does he cook now? If not, is there a plan for him to learn? If he is not likely to cook, I wouldn't make a full kitchen the deal breaker. I think many young adults rely on easy to heat or microwave meals most of the time anyway, so with a microwave, toaster oven, and a hot plate, many people could do without full appliances. If there was a way to fit a full apartment-sized fridge in the guest area instead of a dorm size fridge, a kitchenette might be fine.

 

If we ever move, we also would like to have a guest apartment, because we aren't sure that one of our children will manage to be fully independent. In the meantime, we have elderly parents who may need assistance, and Alzheimer's runs in my family, tragically, so we are also thinking of preparing for our own possible long-term needs. Because we could use the guest area for elder care, we personally would want it to be attached to the main house, not separate.

 

Because you have a long list of negatives, I'd cross house 1 off the list unless you really need the rental income. Since your son is already in high school, you don't have many years to rent it out anyway. I think laws are pretty strict about having a home-based cooking business, so that may limit your options. Is your son interested in breeding animals? Are these home-based businesses things that your son has an interest in? If not, I wouldn't base my decisions around them. I know how hard it is to imagine what kind of job my child might be able to do with his list of disabilities, so I understand the career speculation, but you may not be able to predict right now what your son will choose to pursue in later years. I don't think you can choose your house based on that unless he already has a specific passion you know he would stick with.

 

I'd not choose house 2, because that many garage structures on that size lot will not leave much yard. My kids need to have an outdoor space, and we also use it for entertaining. Your daughter is still young. Unless she is an indoors kind of gal, I'd want a nice yard for her to play in.

 

If we could swing the price of the bigger lot, I'd choose house 3 on the bigger lot.

[kiwik]

A bathroom for each kid? They all sound nice but a kid needing their own bathroom amazes me.

 

Mind you I would like my kids to have their own bedrooms which many people think is uneccessary.

Edited January 12, 2017 by kiwik

[planner]

A bathroom for each kid? They all sound nice but a kid needing their own bathroom amazes me.

 

Mind you I would like my kids to have their own bedrooms which many people think is uneccessary.

It's not a need. It's a want but it's important to dd and I understand why. Ds doesn't have much modesty and she still remembers his poop smearing phase. It wasn't that long ago. Imagine having to share a bathroom with a kid who smears poop everywhere. She's lived that life and she doesn't want to live it again.

 

I don't think having your own bathroom or bedroom is a necessity but for this particular kid it is important. We're not dealing with a typical situation at our house, unfortunately.

[kiwik]

It's not a need. It's a want but it's important to dd and I understand why. Ds doesn't have much modesty and she still remembers his poop smearing phase. It wasn't that long ago. Imagine having to share a bathroom with a kid who smears poop everywhere. She's lived that life and she doesn't want to live it again.

 

I don't think having your own bathroom or bedroom is a necessity but for this particular kid it is important. We're not dealing with a typical situation at our house, unfortunately.

In that case I would either go for a big bathroom you and dd can share plus a room with an en suite for Ds, buy the one with lots of bathrooms or if you really like the one with not enough bathrooms get a builder in to see if you can add one. It is easier to add a toilet if you have a crawl space so check that on each house you look at. Good luck.

 

Eta. Wanting separate bedrooms for my kids is because they have some unusual behaviors around sleeping so I can sympathise with your dd. My current solution is to share a room with one kid and let the older have his own room.

Edited January 12, 2017 by kiwik

[Janeway]

I like option 3

[foxbridgeacademy]

I would go with #1. It has the space you need, except for the extra bathroom.  Land and no HOA fees to keep your adult son from running a business. Also the $$ from the rental would be nice and help you turn the 1/2 bath into a 3/4.

 

 The school thing also sucks but do you know that you will be in the same district if you stay in your current house?  

 

 

 

 

[planner]

I would go with #1. It has the space you need, except for the extra bathroom.  Land and no HOA fees to keep your adult son from running a business. Also the $$ from the rental would be nice and help you turn the 1/2 bath into a 3/4.

 

 The school thing also sucks but do you know that you will be in the same district if you stay in your current house?  

Your question is a good one. I've always assumed yes because of where we live in relationship to the school. However, I just hear back from the principal who's apparently burning the midnight oil answering emails. It's not certain. There were boundary changes last year as well and the board voted to let incoming highest grade students stay at the school. Apparently there is no guarantee for this year because there are 2 new board members who replaced 2 of the board members who voted to let students stay last year. The response from the principal wasn't positive. It was just uncertain. 

[kiwik]

Here a change of school zone only effects future enrolments not current ones and you can stay in the same school if you move out of zone (there are a few exceptions to this where a school is very high demand I think). I always assumed this was the norm but I guess not.

[DawnM]

We have a special needs son who is turning 19 and may not be independent for a long time either.

 

Is there a reason you need him to have a separate space?  We have discussed this and honestly, he can just live with us.  He has his own room, so he has privacy.  

 

If we really want an apt. for him, we can build one on to the house, which would be cheaper than moving and paying more for a house.   Is there a way you could do this?  we have considered that as well.

 

Or we could put a tiny house in our backyard.

 

 

Edited January 12, 2017 by DawnM

[Scarlett]

I forgot to mention that House 1 has septic and a private water company. From what I understand, private water companies can be very expensive. The owners of the home have never lived in it (long story as to why) so there isn't an accurate water bill to evaluate the cost. The house also has a propane tank. House 2 and 3 have sewer and city water as well as natural gas stubbed from the street.

Propane can be crazy expensive.

 

Honestly all of these options could work fine. Usually choosing a house isn't an absolute right/wrong decision.

[ktgrok]

I'd put off moving for one more year, until DD is out of the elementary school you want her in. Or at least until partway through the year so she doesn't have to change schools, assuming they'd let her finish out the year where she started. Interest isn't going to go up so much in a matter of moths that you need to do this now versus 9 months from now. And since middle schools have larger districts you will have more options in order to keep her at the school her friends will be going to. 

[ktgrok]

Oh, and there is NO reason kids can't share a bathroom. None. You and your husband share, I imagine? So can the kids. 

[Ottakee]

I have 3 special needs young adults and understand the desire for their own space but yet need some supervision but not needing a group home either.

 

I also get the bathroom thing. With typical kids/teens, no big deal. For these kids and their "normal" siblings it can be a huge deal.

 

I liked house 1 until you said private water and propane. Those are $$$$$ that unless/until you can get city water and natural gas will eat at your budget forever.

 

If you.do new construction, esp for the in-law suite, I would suggest making it handicapped accessible from the get go. Easier to add 36 in doorways now than later, etc. Easy to add extra wood behind the drywall now for grab bars etc in the bathroom when building. Most of these things don't add a ton of cost but would really improve resale value.

 

We are trying to figure out a plan for 20dd who really wants to get married but both her and her boyfriend will need support. We might add on here, etc. We have a 5+ bedroom, 3 1/2 bath house but we have 3 special needs young adults and 2 higher needs foster boys so we have every room taken.

[planner]

We have a special needs son who is turning 19 and may not be independent for a long time either.

 

Is there a reason you need him to have a separate space?  We have discussed this and honestly, he can just live with us.  He has his own room, so he has privacy.  

 

If we really want an apt. for him, we can build one on to the house, which would be cheaper than moving and paying more for a house.   Is there a way you could do this?  we have considered that as well.

 

Or we could put a tiny house in our backyard.

We have a small lot right now and there is no way we could build an addition let alone a small house. 

 

The reason we want an apartment is because ds is so adamant he's moving out. He's going to really struggle with the reality that he isn't going to go away to college and be on his own. We want to give him the biggest sense of independence that he can have. The reasons have much more to do with mental health than physical needs.

[Scarlett]

We have a small lot right now and there is no way we could build an addition let alone a small house.

 

The reason we want an apartment is because ds is so adamant he's moving out. He's going to really struggle with the reality that he isn't going to go away to college and be on his own. We want to give him the biggest sense of independence that he can have. The reasons have much more to do with mental health than physical needs.

The more I think about it the more I think number one is the best choice. No HOA and the ability to rent apartment if your ds doesn't use it in the future. Can you check to see if a bathroom can be added? Which sibling does your dd not want to share a bathroom with? The ds who will be in the apartment?

 

I might just wait though. Sometimes that is the best option.

[planner]

Here a change of school zone only effects future enrolments not current ones and you can stay in the same school if you move out of zone (there are a few exceptions to this where a school is very high demand I think). I always assumed this was the norm but I guess not.

That is the norm here as well but this is the exception as it is a very high demand area. The school is only a couple years old but there have been boundary changes after each school year. Kids who were enrolled last year were banned from returning. There is a lot of new construction in this area.

[bethben]

I wouldn't go with a detached guest house for a special needs son who cannot live independently away from you. That also goes for a full kitchen. I agree about induction stove tops and a really good toaster oven would be a good compromise.

 

 

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[jewellsmommy]

Oh, and there is NO reason kids can't share a bathroom. None. You and your husband share, I imagine? So can the kids. 

 

She addressed that in post #17. I just mention because maybe you missed it?

 

Based on her answer, I can understand. It is a want not a need, but if you can afford to tend to a want that supports the mental health of one of your children than I support that.

 

Dd was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder with everything that was going on with ds. It can be hard on the other dc (the neuro-typical or non-need child) and they sometimes fall to the bottom of the endless list of stuff to deal with. I am speaking for myself, maybe this was just our experience, but we definitely made this mistake. Dd needed certain boundaries established that from the outside looking in may have seemed frivolous or spoiled, but were very important to acknowledge. I can't imagine she was the only one to ever have this.

[planner]

She addressed that in post #17. I just mention because maybe you missed it?

 

Based on her answer, I can understand. It is a want not a need, but if you can afford to tend to a want that supports the mental health of one of your children than I support that.

 

Dd was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder with everything that was going on with ds. It can be hard on the other dc (the neuro-typical or non-need child) and they sometimes fall to the bottom of the endless list of stuff to deal with. I am speaking for myself, maybe this was just our experience, but we definitely made this mistake. Dd needed certain boundaries established that from the outside looking in may have seemed frivolous or spoiled, but were very important to acknowledge. I can't imagine she was the only one to ever have this.

Thank you for this. Dd is not just another version of Veruca Salt. She has challenges in her life that are out of her control and she has dealt with more than a child her age should have to deal with. My motivations are so driven by the mental and physical needs of my children. Both are important.

[Bluegoat]

I would be inclined to go with #1, just because of the HOAs.  You don't have much control over what rules they add in the future.

 

But my other thought is - if you are looking at your ds living there long term, which houses might be more suitable for you as you age?

[jewellsmommy]

I would be inclined toward house 2 or 3. The info you added about water/sewer/propane is what pushed me away from 1 even though I usually don't fancy an HOA. Plus, the pool and path amenities seem nice. 

[Kim in Appalachia]

House 3

 

The private water/septic plus propane would be an absolute no.  I totally understand about wanting to give your son the feeling of greater independence, but I'm afraid it will all come to a head no matter what.  Even with a detached place, he will know that it is not away at college.  There will be no win for that, I'm sorry to say.

 

I also get the desire for the land and ability to do things such as dog breeding on your own space.  If that is a real need I would wait.  I realize interest rates are going up, but maybe giving it a year would be ok. 

[PeachyDoodle]

You may have answered this and I missed it, but will the HOA potentially affect what/if your ds can have a home-based business? Some are restrictive of business being conducted in the neighborhood, especially if you're thinking his will not be a traditional home office-type enterprise (e.g., dog breeding).

[Annie G]

None of the above, for various reasons.  #1- just no. That deferred maintenance might be more than you realize and buying it with all the stuff in it sounds like a pain. And if its a forever home, do you really want to maintain a pool forever?   #2 and #3 are also compromises and you don't yet know if they will be- if ds really wants to be living separate, will the attached apartment be ok? Are you willing to put in an illegal stove or have him come to your kitchen to cook?  And the 3rd house sounds really large- as a forever house, are you sure you want it this large? Taxes, insurance, maintenance, etc. on a large house during your retirement might not be attractive. 

 

Interest rates might go up a little over the next couple of years but not a whole lot.  And a year or two will give your dd time to get out of elementary school, ds will be closer to graduating and you might be more sure of what his adult living needs will really be like, and you'll have time to really look and contemplate where you want to live forever.  Your current house is meeting your current needs and you have several years until it won't meet those needs. 

[ktgrok]

She addressed that in post #17. I just mention because maybe you missed it?

 

Based on her answer, I can understand. It is a want not a need, but if you can afford to tend to a want that supports the mental health of one of your children than I support that.

 

Dd was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder with everything that was going on with ds. It can be hard on the other dc (the neuro-typical or non-need child) and they sometimes fall to the bottom of the endless list of stuff to deal with. I am speaking for myself, maybe this was just our experience, but we definitely made this mistake. Dd needed certain boundaries established that from the outside looking in may have seemed frivolous or spoiled, but were very important to acknowledge. I can't imagine she was the only one to ever have this.

 

I did totally miss it! Sorry!

[KungFuPanda]

Would a garage apartment added to your current home work? You seem to like where you are except for not having a separate apartment.

[kiwik]

That is the norm here as well but this is the exception as it is a very high demand area. The school is only a couple years old but there have been boundary changes after each school year. Kids who were enrolled last year were banned from returning. There is a lot of new construction in this area.

That is just mean. The exception I was thinking of is Auckland Grammar (a high school) where people do things like short term rental to get into the school zone long enough to enrol. If you find your current house is in the school zone for next year then I would lean to delaying a year.

[planner]

Would a garage apartment added to your current home work? You seem to like where you are except for not having a separate apartment.

Unfortunately, no. 

[planner]

That is just mean. The exception I was thinking of is Auckland Grammar (a high school) where people do things like short term rental to get into the school zone long enough to enrol. If you find your current house is in the school zone for next year then I would lean to delaying a year.

There are kids in this area that have never moved and have been to 4 different elementary schools. It's really hard for a lot of these kids.

[Harriet Vane]

I would go with house #1 because of the lack of HOA and the detached apartment. It would be worth trying to evaluate propane and water costs, though. Is there a way to get neighborhood figures for that?

[Calm37]

The one time I lived with an HOA, they did not allow for any businesses to be run from the home.

[planner]

I would go with house #1 because of the lack of HOA and the detached apartment. It would be worth trying to evaluate propane and water costs, though. Is there a way to get neighborhood figures for that?

That's what I have my agent working on right now. I want historic figures and the current owners who haven't lived in the house are friends with the previous owners who did so they should be available.

 

I live in the same HOA as the new construction homes and the HOA is not pushy, at least not yet. I haven't known anyone to have issues with the HOA. Our last neighborhood HOA would wait for homes to sell and then present the new owner with a list of violations. I thought that practice was abhorrent! 

[TammyS]

House 1 for sure.  It would have a true kitchen and rentable apartment, and no HOA to drive you crazy.  And don't be certain that just because you make an illegal kitchen you will be allowed to keep it.  One of your neighbors gets wind that your son is living there full time, the HOA asks for an inspection from the fire department, and BAM, you've got a mess.  Also don't be sure that living in an HOA means you won't live near deferred maint. houses.  Happens in HOAs the same as everywhere.  Some are better at keeping it down, some are not.

 

Also, having a separate entrance does not make your son's apartment in the other houses the same as a truly separate apartment.  You will hear what he is doing, he will hear what you are doing.  If either of you makes choices the other doesn't like, living in the same structure means those choices are a lot closer than they would be if he were in a separate structure.  You both lose privacy.

 

I would also consult an attorney about legal issues surrounding having an apartment on your property for a grown child who isn't able to live independently.  It could be more complicated than you think.

 

About the stuff in House 1: I would consult a house clearing company (1 800 got junk, or something) and ask how much to empty the house and dispose of the stuff.  Take that amount, add 10% and then take that total off of your offer.  A house full of stuff is a liability to a buyer (even if you end up selling some of the stuff), not a benefit.  Believe me, I've been down this road. It's a nightmare you don't want.  Make them pay you for clearing out the house by taking the cost off the price.

 

I also wonder if there isn't a way to keep your current home and make it work, since you say you love it.

[abacus2]

I absolutely would not make an illegal kitchen. That could cause major problems. 

 

A freshman in high school is likely to change drastically in 4 years. Also, do you think he has the skill to handle his own apartment now? If not, how sure are you that he will be able to handle it at 19? What other options might be available at that time? A semi independent facility? A roommate with a supervisory role? He makes surprising academic progress and college is a possibility?

 

It seems to me based on your description, that you are planning to leave your current home which is perfect for your current situation, for a less than ideal home based on the assumption that your young son will definitely need an apartment on your property in 4 years. I would keep the house that meets your needs now.

[kroe1]

Dh and I are feeling compelled to find a home with a guest home to meet the needs of our special needs son. He wants to be independent but we don't have confidence that he will be able to be independent. We want to get him a level of independence that everyone will be comfortable with. He's only a freshman in high school but we feel like we need to take action now because if interest rates continue to rise, we will be priced out of the market. We would plan on staying in this house forever. Right now, we are considering three options.

 

House 1 is 20 years old with 4 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms on .65 acre. Main house has a 3 car garage although it only has the potential to park 2 cars in it. As it currently sits, only 1 car could be parked in the garage. It has a detached 4 car garage with a 800 sq. ft. 1 bedroom apartment with laundry facilities and a full kitchen. The full kitchen is a big deal. When we moved to our current home, we held to the criteria that each child would have their own bathroom. This is not possible in this house. That is a compromise which dd is very upset by. The house has a swimming pool which is appropriate to our area but something we didn't want for our current home. The house has standard closets and we are used to walk-in closets. There is some deferred maintenance that would need to be given consideration.

 

The house comes furnished. The furnishings are fine, although there is way too much of it. Everything in the house is included and there is simply so much stuff in the house. So much stuff. It's overwhelming. It would be a job to dispose of, although there are some items that I would choose to keep. It also could be an opportunity to recoup some of the house cost. We spent time trying to guess at the cost of the furnishings but so much is antique that it is too hard to guess at. The furnishings could be a liability or a boon. There is no way to know without further research.

 

The neighborhood is a mismatch of homes. There are million dollar homes and homes that are clearly so deferred in maintenance that they're somewhat embarrassing to live by. The house is also outside our current elementary school boundary which dd attends. The school is at capacity so there is no guarantee dd would be allowed to return for next year, which is also the school year she would graduate the school. I have an email into the principal to see about whether she would be allowed to stay, but since school boundaries are likely changing, he may not have an answer. It's also possible that boundary realignments could cause this house to become part of dd's school boundary. I don't want dd to have to change schools. She's had a lot of schooling transition and she's happy where she is at.

 

The house is in the county although it is surrounded by city. County regulations would allow us to rent out the guest house until it is needed for ds. There is no HOA. Dh feels this property would allow ds to have more at home occupational choices as there is plenty of land to allow for other accessory structures. He specifically mentioned dog breeding which dh has experience with. The kitchen is large enough that he could do a food based business as well. DH prefers the width of this garage over House 2 and it is larger than House 3's detached garage.

 

House 2 is new construction. We would be able to have say in all the details. It has 4 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms, 4 car garage on .45 acre lot. It would have an RV garage with an attached guest home with 1 bedroom and 1 bath. There is contradictory information from the builder regarding laundry facilities in the guest house so that is unclear at this point. The kitchen is not full and is not allowed to have a stove. We think we may have a work around this to redo the kitchen aftermarket but it would technically be an illegal second kitchen. The home meets our bathroom requirements and has walk-in closets. The guest house is smaller than house 1. It is in an HOA which would not allow the guest house to be rented until we need it. It is in our current school boundary and our children have friends who live in this neighborhood. We don't have an RV and likely never will but in order to have the guest house, the RV garage is necessary. Dh does want a detached garage though so it's just a matter of what type of garage. After the RV garage and home are built, there is not much yard left although it's plenty to satisfy our needs.

 

House 3 is also new construction in the same neighborhood as house 2. We can have the say in all the details on this house as well. It can be built on a .45 acre lot or a .70 acre lot. It has 4 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms, 4 car garage. The guest house is contained within the main home. The main house surpasses our bathroom needs and is very functional. It's a bigger house than we need for now, but when you figure the guest house is within the main house, it's perfect for us. We would also build a detached 2 car garage for dh. The guest house can be entered from the outside so ds could have independence. Dh feels the guest house would ideally be separate from the main house but I don't feel that's an issue because it has it's own entrance. The guest house kitchen has the same limitations as house 2. We could alter it but then we would have an illegal kitchen. Depending on which lot, there will either be a great yard space or a smaller yard which meets our needs but doesn't allow for the same opportunities of house 1. The HOA of house 2 and 3 eliminate the possibility of living next to deferred maintenance homes and adds an extra monthly expense for dues but there is a community swimming pool, walking paths, and parks. It would cost the same amount to maintain the pool at house 1 though.

 

All of the homes are within 1 mile of our current home. We like where we are at. We like the home we are currently in. We just are looking to our future needs and realizing this house won't always meet our needs.

 

The difference in cost of these homes is about $50,000. It's not significant enough of a figure to make a difference as to which home to choose. There are pros and cons to all the options and I'm not sure which direction to proceed so I thought I'd try to get some input from the hive.

Can you keep your current home and add a tiny house to the back for your son?

[Annie G]

I have two questions after reading this thread.

 

 1. I always thought an 'illegal kitchen' was in reference to a single family home being modified to include a tenant situation.   Around here, inlaw suites and such are fine if it's occupied by one family, which is what OP is referring to. (But not the 'rent it out' until ds needs it)   When we bought this house it had two kitchens, but was a single family home. So what's the issue with having a second kitchen? If there is enough capacity for the added electrical load and the work is properly done, what is the issue? Never heard of this. 

 

2. In this day of so many people having home based businesses, how do HOA covenants prevent people from having a home based business?  Advocare, LuLaRoe, Pampered Chef, or even the guy who has a remodeling business. He has no physical location other than his house but he has a sign on the side of his truck.  So...are ALL home based businesses banned by these strict HOAs or just ones where customers frequently come to the house? My sister is a long arm quilter and her HOA is quite picky but nobody seems to care that she quilts for money in her home. She's on the board of the HOA and they're aware of her small home based business. 

 

I had no idea some places were so regulated. My limited knowledge of illegal construction is mostly from Flip or Flop, where they buy a house and find that an addition was built without a permit.  Sometimes they get it approved and other times they have to tear it down.  Enlighten me! Dh and I are starting to look at homes in another state in anticipation of his retirement soon and I don't want to be surprised in a bad way.