"Bad" swear words or "REALLY bad" swears words...why is this?

[Ginevra]

This is idle musing. I generally don't use swear words much (except when I get my finger caught in the kitchen drawer), but I was talking to a sweet friend with a southern drawl recently and I see this odd distinction. She swears a little conversationally. She might say something can "go to he!!." It wouldn't bother her much to say that. She might say, "Damm!t" if she's ruffled about something. But she would never, ever say, "G-d damm!t." Why? Aren't these expressions all roughly translatable to the same sentiment?

 

I can think of other examples, but this probably suffices. I'm curious as to how a population internalizes these ideas that some of these expressions, while not classy, are excusable, while others are inexcusable though they carry about the same idea. I also think some regions (the southern U.S., for example) has more delineation than others. Why?

[JumpyTheFrog]

Any swearing with the words "God", "Jesus", or "Christ" in them bothers me much more than without them. Personally, I consider the swearing bad enough, but referencing God in such a flippant or angry way is even worse. I suppose I would consider using it that way as using God's name in vane. (I would also categorize lying and saying God told you something that you know he didn't as using his name in vane.) In contrast, while regular swearing is crude and offense (which I believe as I Christian I am to avoid), but it is not using his name in vane.

Edited April 6, 2016 by HoppyTheToad

[Guest]

Okay, I guess I can see that. There are still distinctions made that don't involve God's name, though. It's pretty common to hear, "Oh, he's an a$$." But not as common to hear, "oh, he's a d!€k."

[MercyA]

I am not easily offended, but I do have an intense, visceral, negative reaction to anyone saying "Oh my G--" or "G--dammit" or "J---- C-----." As you can see, I can't even bring myself to type the words out in this context. It seems incredibly disrespectful to me. 

 

When I'm with people who aren't bothered by it, I occasionally do use "damn," "hell," and a few other choice expressions. Sometimes the situation in the world calls for it.  :D

 

I do believe that Christians are to avoid vulgarity, so I try not use crude words referring to bodily functions, sexual acts, or anatomy. 

 

Taking the Lord's name in vain might include using it flippantly, but likely encompasses much more than that, too. Here's a good article on the topic.

[marbel]

Cultural and family background?

 

I grew up with a dad who swore conversationally, but also pretty mildly - damn, hell.  His favorite expression was "what the hell..." (or "who the hell..." as in "who the hell does he think he is?").  I don't remember hearing him say anything more than that.  I learned all the "big" swear words from my brother and when I was single, used them quite a bit.

 

But, anyway, I still think of "damn" and "hell" as just barely swearing.  I can remember each and every time I have said them in front of my kids; there weren't many but the kids were scandalized and delighted each time.  In front of my husband I will sometimes use bigger words for emphasis or when I am really, really angry. 

 

I will not swear using any of God's names.  I probably used to.  That does bother me a lot. 

 

Then there are what I consider vulgar words - not swearing, but not good things to say.  "Crap" falls into that category but I find I say it quite a bit.  I don't use vulgar terms for body parts ever. 

[Ravin]

I was taught as a child that "taking the Lord's name in vain" was the worst sort of pejorative/vulgar swearing. The dislike of it lingers long after the reasons I was taught ceased to be relevant to me. DD has taken to saying "Oh, God!" in annoyance. I keep telling her if she's going to invoke deities, she should at least not invoke other peoples'.

[Bluegoat]

I think a person's background has a lot to do with it.

 

I don't really think of hell or damn as swear words at all.  Just things you say when you squash your toe, that don't have much real meaning.

 

Really swearing religiously can be more offensive, I think - it can really offend others which is something to consider, even if it doesn't bother one personally.

 

But some words - bugger comes to mind - can be seen as really bad by some, and very mild by others.  Different individuals and regions seem to have different tendencies.

 

I don't think it is odd there would be mild and serious swear words.  I think they have a real function in speech, and there is a use for more or less serious ones. 

 

 

 

[MaeFlowers]

i don't know that it is Southern, per se. I was going to say maybe it has more to do with religiosity. However, my family was Southern Baptist and cussed. They had no problem with gd and used it frequently. On the other hand, my dh's family is SBC and thinks hell and crap are bad words.

 

I guess I would say it has more to do with family culture than anything.

[eternalsummer]

There's only one swear word I don't use, and that's because I find it distasteful to be derogatory about female anatomy.

 

Idk. I guess we all have our own idiosyncratic lines in the sand. 

 

But not to be derogatory to male anatomy? lol

[eternalsummer]

At any rate, if any words are swear words instead of normal words, then it makes sense that some are more okay and others are less okay.  I am not phased by hearing some that I find almost impossible to say; I expect many many people are used to hearing some swear words in some contexts (rap music, for instance) that they would almost never or definitely never use themselves.

[Runningmom80]

I actually don't use that one because I don't like the way it sounds. But it's used with far less viciousness than the female equivalent is.

Yep. I agree on all counts.

I swear, I try really hard not to use God or Jesus before anything because I feel like it's disrespectful. I'm not particularly religious but I know those are significant words/names. I wouldn't use Buddha, Krishna, Ali, etc either.

Edited April 6, 2016 by Runningmom80

[eternalsummer]

My conception of god more or less includes the things that inspire swearing, so I don't feel, personally, like it's much of an affront.  In front of a very religious person I sometimes modulate my speech, though.

[knoxinsox]

I don't think there is any consistency regarding background either.  Hubby is from NY and his family cusses conversationally....word, bleep, bleeping, bleep word....he does not cuss ever and thinks there are better ways to express yourself.

I on the other hand, grew up in a culture that thought saying "For Pete's sake" was taking Pete's name in vain, and terrible, not to mention saying gee, or golly or really bad like the f bomb or the sh word.  Being fairly dramatic, I occasionally use the sh word when my mixer full of bread dough is walking itself off the counter or the casserole is on fire or if you try to change lanes and I am right beside you.  So, not very often, mostly a "dang, girl!!" and I've never had a habit of using God's name in vain.

 

Ten year old son recently discovered cuss words (on a Netflix show that he and his dad watch) and dad is not happy.  He was told not to use any of them at all and so he is inventing (hilarious) words to substitute, like "oh crape" instead of "oh crap."  Lots of "Dadgummit..."    Plus all the other ones, and he is really not repentant about using them....he has lots to be angry about right now, apparently.

6 year old daughter is learning to read and is sounding out words.  Her brother has been writing cuss words down and helping her sound them out. Passive-aggressive, much?   

Husband is shocked and disappointed and I am more than mildly amused.  I am dying laughing just writing this.  These kids are highly entertaining.

[knoxinsox]

I modulate my "swearing" ( I don't consider damn or G**d*** swearing, more letting of steam, lol)  if someone either asks me nicely - has happened here a few times - or in front of one religious friend. 

 

The only thing I really care about re swearing is being able to read context and use it or not use it depending on that context. For example, I don't care that my son swears with his friends, but it's a useful skill to know that swearing with friends is OK, but swearing in front of Grandma is probably not needed, kwim ?

 

Also, that people will judge you for constant swearing, and that when every second word out of your mouth is f***, people will often think you are stupider than you are. 

Exactly, and some words are "mad-making."  They just really intensify emotions fast. 

[umsami]

I think it has to do with taking the Lord's name in vain.  I remember growing up, even saying OMG was kind of frowned upon.  My more religious friends would say Oh My Gosh.

 

I had Catholic friends who would "swear" by saying Jesus, Mary, and Joseph as opposed to Jesus.

 

I also know people who used to say "Jesus H. Christ" which I looked up and is referenced to Mark Twain.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_H._Christ

[Spryte]

I'm always fascinated by this topic.

 

I don't swear often, and DS can count on one hand the number of times he's heard a mild swear word out of my mouth. He's scandalized each time. I type them, though! i just don't swear around kids, and since I'm always with kids...

 

My mother doesn't swear. At all. She is in her late 70s (how did that happen?!?) and has a great story about growing up in the south. She said, "Darn," in her father's hearing. He would be 113 now, if alive, for reference, and was a very gentle, kind man. He pulled out a bible and had a talk with her about not taking the lord's name in vain. For a "darn." His take on it was that any swearing was doing so, and I never quite followed that.

 

We live in a family of agnostics and atheists. We don't use anyone's gods' names in swear words. I find that disrespectful and rude. DS is even more adamant about this than I, and has asked other 12 yr olds to curb it while at our house. He does not want his Christian friends offended or hurt. (In a strange twist, those are the particular friends using bad language, with the exception of one family in a less mainstream Christian denomination.)

 

He also doesn't care for any swearing at all, and doesn't hesitate to say so. In fact, a kid just opened our front door the other day and called in to me, "Ms Spryte, is suck a bad word?" ...we don't tend to use that one either, clearly DS had said something.

 

So, yeh, perception of swear words can vary greatly.

Edited April 7, 2016 by Spryte

[Amy in NH]

I am not easily offended, but I do have an intense, visceral, negative reaction to anyone saying "Oh my G--" or "G--dammit" or "J---- C-----." As you can see, I can't even bring myself to type the words out in this context. It seems incredibly disrespectful to me. 

 

When I'm with people who aren't bothered by it, I occasionally do use "damn," "hell," and a few other choice expressions. Sometimes the situation in the world calls for it.  :D

 

I do believe that Christians are to avoid vulgarity, so I try not use crude words referring to bodily functions, sexual acts, or anatomy. 

 

Taking the Lord's name in vain might include using it flippantly, but likely encompasses much more than that, too. Here's a good article on the topic.

 

I had this conversation with my kids recently, when they asked why some words are swears.  The bolded is exactly what I told them about the origins of curse words.  Because we are not religious, we also had a discussion about strong language and word choice, bad habits, audience, and respecting/not offending others. 

[heartlikealion]

a$$ vs d!ck might partly be due to what is more common. It's way more common to hear a$$ and variations of it (a$$hat) than the other. At least, in my personal experience IRL and viewing media. I suppose someone could spin it to say they meant the animal.

 

Yes, I find things to be worse with religious references for the reason stated above.

 

I'm more comfortable with certain expressions than others, even though one may not be "worse" than another. I really despise the word that starts with a t used in place of breasts. One time my MIL used the term ____ baby and my mouth may have dropped. I've also heard "colder than a witch's ____" and it does not sit well with me.

[Guest]

I think it has to do with taking the Lord's name in vain. I remember growing up, even saying OMG was kind of frowned upon. My more religious friends would say Oh My Gosh.

 

I had Catholic friends who would "swear" by saying Jesus, Mary, and Joseph as opposed to Jesus.

 

I also know people who used to say "Jesus H. Christ" which I looked up and is referenced to Mark Twain. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_H._Christ

See, I think this is odd, though. When I was growing up, my parents never swore, not at all, and they never said d@mn or he!! even. I was slapped across my face once for saying, "what the he!!." However - we said "Oh my G-d!" All the live-long day, although my mother did prefer that we substitute "gosh." She would often correct us, but not forcefully and, as far as I recall, not effectively. I also knew a lot of families, though, who were not allowed to use substitute swearing, either, including "Oh my Gosh/golly/goodness." No "darn it" or "dang it."

 

From a logical standpoint, it does seem to me that if one should not say J.C. as an expletive, putting an "H." In the middle doesn't change it one jot. The sentiment is still the same. Gosh is really the same way, too. It isn't even a word! And damning something to hell - it just seems to me as though that concept should bother a religious person no matter how the words are actually said.

 

I do sort of prefer total nonsense words or phrases said in frustration, like people saying, "oh, fudge!" My cousin uses Shiesta in place of the more common "sh-" word. When people cut me off in traffic, I say the very unweildy, "YOU are...NOT a very nice person!"

[heartlikealion]

See, I think this is odd, though. When I was growing up, my parents never swore, not at all, and they never said [email protected]<script data-cfhash='f9e31' type="text/javascript">/* */</script> or he!! even. I was slapped across my face once for saying, "what the he!!." However - we said "Oh my G-d!" All the live-long day, although my mother did prefer that we substitute "gosh." She would often correct us, but not forcefully and, as far as I recall, not effectively. I also knew a lot of families, though, who were not allowed to use substitute swearing, either, including "Oh my Gosh/golly/goodness." No "darn it" or "dang it."

 

From a logical standpoint, it does seem to me that if one should not say J.C. as an expletive, putting an "H." In the middle doesn't change it one jot. The sentiment is still the same. Gosh is really the same way, too. It isn't even a word! And damning something to hell - it just seems to me as though that concept should bother a religious person no matter how the words are actually said.

 

I do sort of prefer total nonsense words or phrases said in frustration, like people saying, "oh, fudge!" My cousin uses Shiesta in place of the more common "sh-" word. When people cut me off in traffic, I say the very unweildy, "YOU are...NOT a very nice person!"

 

I don't know if substituting makes things all better, but it is not the Lord's name. So I feel better about saying gosh. I did start to feel badly about "geez" because it sounds too much like "Jesus" and I think that's where it comes from. So now I try to refrain from saying it. Gosh is probably too similar as well. Sometimes I say goodness. Goodness is a real word and I don't know how that's worse than fudge.

 

My dad wouldn't even let us say crap lol. He'd say junk instead. Wasn't fond of our nicknames for businesses -- K-Fart and I think on occasion we might have said Taco Hell? Or maybe it was Smell. Mom cussed sometimes. Dad generally didn't, but he used "bitching" as a verb and said it was okay.

[EmilyGF]

I think a person's background has a lot to do with it.

 

I don't really think of hell or damn as swear words at all.  Just things you say when you squash your toe, that don't have much real meaning.

 

Really swearing religiously can be more offensive, I think - it can really offend others which is something to consider, even if it doesn't bother one personally.

 

But some words - bugger comes to mind - can be seen as really bad by some, and very mild by others.  Different individuals and regions seem to have different tendencies.

 

I don't think it is odd there would be mild and serious swear words.  I think they have a real function in speech, and there is a use for more or less serious ones. 

My German friend lets her son use phrases that shock me. OTOH, I read books in German that shock her. 

 

The English cursing means something to me and not much to her. The heavy parts in some of the books I read don't resonate with me because of the cultural divide.

Emily

[Joker]

I don't curse that often. I do think I use hell and a$$ quite a bit and no one here would freak to hear me say d@mn or sh!t. Growing up, my mom and grandma used sh!t all the time. They would try not to say it in church which seemed to make them say it more. We laughed about it a lot. 

 

Dds have heard them all as it's not something we care at all about in tv or movies. I don't hear either of them say much, though. Some people get upset that they say, "It/That sucks!". I don't care about that at all. I also wouldn't care if they used hell, d@mn, or sh!t. 

 

Dh will sometimes say the "really" bad ones to get me to laugh. It's always such a shock to hear it from him (he's cleaned it up a lot as a dad since leaving the Marines) that I always laugh. I'm not offended when I hear worse words from someone but it can get annoying if every other word is one. 

 

 

 

*I didn't type out most of the words because others weren't and I didn't want to upset anyone. 

 

Edited April 7, 2016 by Joker

[Guest]

I make the distinction between ordinary swearing (f word, d word, etc.) and the creative kind, which might be a long string of swear words tied together in a humorous or unexpected manner.

 

When I am around Christians, I substitute the name of a different diety, which I see from previous posts is appreciated, well worth the effort, and just plain good manners i.e., "Great testicles of Zeus!" "Cronos in a crack pipe!"

 

 

[Spryte]

I make the distinction between ordinary swearing (f word, d word, etc.) and the creative kind, which might be a long string of swear words tied together in a humorous or unexpected manner.When I am around Christians, I substitute the name of a different diety, which I see from previous posts is appreciated, well worth the effort, and just plain good manners i.e., "Great testicles of Zeus!" "Cronos in a crack pipe!"

Totally stealing those two! Awesome!

[Scarlett]

This is idle musing. I generally don't use swear words much (except when I get my finger caught in the kitchen drawer), but I was talking to a sweet friend with a southern drawl recently and I see this odd distinction. She swears a little conversationally. She might say something can "go to he!!." It wouldn't bother her much to say that. She might say, "Damm!t" if she's ruffled about something. But she would never, ever say, "G-d damm!t." Why? Aren't these expressions all roughly translatable to the same sentiment?

 

I can think of other examples, but this probably suffices. I'm curious as to how a population internalizes these ideas that some of these expressions, while not classy, are excusable, while others are inexcusable though they carry about the same idea. I also think some regions (the southern U.S., for example) has more delineation than others. Why?

Oh my word. So timely. My Ds is very sensitive to swear words. He wants a swear jar....Dh agreed. Dh is the potty month in this house. So we tried to establish the rules. What is a swear word. Are some words worse. Ds said well according to the movie industry......and Dh interrupted him saying we would go by the Bibles definition.....let not a rotten saying proceed out of ones mouth. Ds and I were like um ok.....how do you define that....and round and round we went.

 

Still no swear jar.

 

Dh never uses the F word.

 

I rarely say a curse word. I backed into a tree and said oh SH!T. But basically I never curse. Ds even less so. He is offended by freaking. His father has the worst mouth ever.

[SKL]

I think we learn the connotation including the seriousness just from being around people.  Nobody I want to be around uses the "c word"; very few use the "d_ck word," and when they do, it's clearly intended to shock and/or offend.  The F word is bad, but I use it privately because, well, I am bad.  :P  It wouldn't slip casually out of my mouth outside of my close and forgiving family.  Other non-God-related words are relatively milder, but I still wouldn't say them around most people.

 

The God-related words, I hear them plenty, but I try not to say them because of the respect factor.  I don't necessarily believe everything any religion teaches, but I do believe in respecting people's religious beliefs, and that includes not abusing the name(s) they consider sacred.  It does slip out sometimes though.

 

My kid asked me several times what "up yours" means.  I don't ever say "up yours," so I'm not sure where they heard it, and my kid isn't saying.  I told her it's short for "shove it up your a$$."  She was horrified.  :P  Which is funny, because she hears me say F--- more than she probably should.  :P

[MercyA]

You're not a true Australian if you can't make liberal use of 'bugger'. As in, upon making an error, "Oh, bugger!" Children can be affectionately referred to as 'a cheeky little bugger.'

 

It's lost its relationship to a dictionary meaning of bugger, and isn't used in that way at all. 

 

Thanks for making me feel better, Sadie. I'm not Australian, but I used to use 'bugger' as a harmless, handy, fun little expletive. I was over 40 when I discovered it had another meaning. :o Maybe I can use it again and just consider myself multicultural!

[SKL]

My kid thinks I should not cuss.  I told her I will try to mend my ways by saying only "nadafinga" whenever I feel a cuss word coming on.  I don't know if I've cussed since then, but I did use "nadafinga" once.  :)

[SKL]

Yeah, I don't use "bugger" because I don't need to explain that to my kids.  :P

 

When I was little, my dad would use "booger" the way some people use "bugger."  My dad went off swearing for years when we were young (he became religious when I was about 6).  Much to his dismay, he couldn't get my mom on board.  My mom's cussing was legendary.  I don't have enough talent to take after her.

[Scarlett]

My mom....oh my. She never cursed. Not darn, heck, gosh, golly gee. Not oh my God. Nothing. He mouth was pristine. She tells me it is because before she became religious she had the mouth of a sailor and had to go cold turkey.

 

One time when I was 15 there was a wreck/ fire outside my bedroom window in the middle of the night. She crept through my room trying to peek out...as she stepped all over my stuff she at first said, ow, ow.....after several of those she exclaimed loudly, "my God Scarlett, clean up this room!" I laughed so hard I nearly fell out of bed. Seriously she never cursed.

[Serenade]

So what category of curse word is "fricken"?  Is it bad or mild?  I guess I'll see if the forums x-out some of the letters..

[SKL]

LOL my kids do not like "frickin'."  I wouldn't say it around most people.  But it isn't as bad as the word that inspired it.  :P

[heartlikealion]

So what category of curse word is "fricken"?  Is it bad or mild?  I guess I'll see if the forums x-out some of the letters..

 

I don't know, but the company around me determines my guilt factor lol.

 

[Melissa in Australia]

You're not a true Australian if you can't make liberal use of 'bugger'. As in, upon making an error, "Oh, bugger!" Children can be affectionately referred to as 'a cheeky little bugger.'

 

It's lost its relationship to a dictionary meaning of bugger, and isn't used in that way at all. 

depends where in Australia you live.

 

To me it is one of the biggest insults to call a child  'a cheeky little bugger. I ripped into my MIL once (the only time ever) when she called my child a little bugger. He is absoultly not involved in sodimy at all and how dare she make a comment like that.

[Guest]

depends where in Australia you live.

 

To me it is one of the biggest insults to call a child 'a cheeky little bugger. I ripped into my MIL once (the only time ever) when she called my child a little bugger. He is absoultly not involved in sodimy at all and how dare she make a comment like that.

Interesting. That isn't a common word where I live. I wouldn't notice if anyone used that word for a kid...I think I had the idea that it was like calling a kid a "little booger," which people do sometimes. Learn something new everyday.

[marbel]

LOL my kids do not like "frickin'."  I wouldn't say it around most people.  But it isn't as bad as the word that inspired it.  :p

 

I despise that word. 

 

It is funny, though, how the "offshoot" or "milder" words that developed are OK for some but not for others.

 

Once an 8 year old kid chastised me for saying "oh my gosh" because it was taking the Lord's name in vain.  Well, technically he was right - it is a substitute. But I was still annoyed at him for correcting me.

 

I will say "freaking" which is and isn't a substitute for the other f-word.  "Why are you freaking out over this?" has no connection, I don't think, but "that driver almost freakin' hit us!" is definitely a substitute. 

 

I remember a kids' story (Mennonite, I think) that talked about "idle words" like shoot and such, that people say as an exclamation, and how they are wrong simply because there is no need for them.  Sorry, but when I stub my toe, I have to say something!

 

Edited April 7, 2016 by marbel

[Bluegoat]

You're not a true Australian if you can't make liberal use of 'bugger'. As in, upon making an error, "Oh, bugger!" Children can be affectionately referred to as 'a cheeky little bugger.'

 

It's lost its relationship to a dictionary meaning of bugger, and isn't used in that way at all. 

 

I think it's similar in Canada - quite a few people sem to think it means someone who bugs or annoys you.  But many people in the UK seem to take it more literally and see it as a more serious swear word.  Which makes sense - there is a big difference in offensiveness between calling someone annoying and calling them a sodomite. (Which interestingly doesn't seem to be a swear word though it seems like it could be a pretty effective one of the really offensive variety.)

[eternalsummer]

Can you imagine if everyone only said words that were absolutely necessary?  Emotive/expressive communication is part of the human condition, I think.

 

My dad cursed constantly, but he had some strange rules (for himself): he said god d@#n, motherf@$#r (occasionally), sh$t, etc.  He also had this expression: "happier than a dog with two pee-pees."  I referred to it at some point after he died, and my mom and DH looked at me kind of funny and said, "the expression is 'happier than a dog with two d%cks'" - !  Evidently around everyone but his children, Dad used the latter expression (which he said many times a week), but neither me nor my sister ever heard it that way, even once.

 

edit: ack, sorry, I thought the board had an automatic filter feature

Edited April 7, 2016 by ananemone

[Serenade]

 

 

Once an 8 year old kid chastised me for saying "oh my gosh" because it was taking the Lord's name in vain.  Well, technically he was right - it is a substitute. But I was still annoyed at him for correcting me.

 

 

 

I would never have thought that some would consider the word "gosh" a substitute for the Lord's name.  I don't even consider the phrase, "Oh my gosh" to be mild swear words.  Those are just regular words IMO.

[katilac]

My distinction is whether the words are aimed at a person or not, and of course context. 

 

Slang words for anatomy and sex acts are mild when used factually, worse if used to refer to a person. Damning my computer to hell is milder than damning a person to hell (even if they can't hear me and I don't believe in hell to begin with). 

 

Cussing amidst cuss-friendly friends is mild. Cussing in public or at a mixed gathering is worse. 

 

I swear like a sailor when not in mixed company, such words very rarely get spoken by dh. Youngest dd takes after me, and oldest falls somewhere in between. 

 

[SKL]

Last year my kids and I were eating outside some junky food place when a woman nearby came along yelling at her phone.  My kids were treated to the F word dozens of times in minutes.  They were fascinated.  While they didn't approve of her word choice (and I thought she could have toned it down around other people's children), there is a silver lining.  They now know that their mom is far from the worst cusser out there.  :)

 

My kid likes to push buttons by saying the words she heard in "safe-ish" contexts, like, "Mommy, I heard you say f---."  (My mom would have killed me for that.)  Sometimes she gets conservative and calls it the "f,o,c,k word."

[Lady Florida.]

It's my understanding that French Canadian swear words (I don't know about in France) are often related to God and religion. Italian or at least Italian American are also like that to a lesser extent. My grandmother's favorite exclamation was "Madonna Jesu Cristo". She was first generation American. We said oh my God all the time and it was not considered swearing in our social circle (Catholic). It's only been in recent years that I learned people take issue with that.

 

The secular (for lack of a better term) swear words were the bad words. The biggies in both my and dh's family are words like the F word. That one is saved for serious swearing. The one Sadie referenced never, EVER, gets used. 

Edited April 7, 2016 by Lady Florida

[Bluegoat]

It's my understanding that French Canadian swear words (I don't know about in France) are often related to God and religion. Italian or at least Italian American are also like that to a lesser extent. My grandmother's favorite exclamation was "Madonna Jesu Cristo". She was first generation American. We said oh my God all the time and it was not considered swearing in our social circle (Catholic). It's only been in recent years that I learned people take issue with that.

 

The secular (for lack of a better term) swear words were the bad words. The biggies in both my and dh's family are words like the F word. That one is saved for serious swearing. The one Sadie referenced never, EVER, gets used. 

 

I think it is more of a thing in Quebec than France.

[Lady Florida.]

I think it is more of a thing in Quebec than France.

 

I thought so, but wasn't sure.

[Tsuga]

This is idle musing. I generally don't use swear words much (except when I get my finger caught in the kitchen drawer), but I was talking to a sweet friend with a southern drawl recently and I see this odd distinction. She swears a little conversationally. She might say something can "go to he!!." It wouldn't bother her much to say that. She might say, "Damm!t" if she's ruffled about something. But she would never, ever say, "G-d damm!t." Why? Aren't these expressions all roughly translatable to the same sentiment?

 

I can think of other examples, but this probably suffices. I'm curious as to how a population internalizes these ideas that some of these expressions, while not classy, are excusable, while others are inexcusable though they carry about the same idea. I also think some regions (the southern U.S., for example) has more delineation than others. Why?

 

I believe that swearing is in the ears of the hearer and we should respect others' ears. All our kids have one religious parent (step kids mom and my ex-husband). Hence, though we don't have issues with "Oh, my god", they do at times. So we respect that.

 

I think some people have issues with taking God's name in vain and I don't mind respecting their sensibilities.

 

It's less the words themselves than people's attachment of meaning to the words which varies depending on context.

[LucyStoner]

Okay, I guess I can see that. There are still distinctions made that don't involve God's name, though. It's pretty common to hear, "Oh, he's an a$$." But not as common to hear, "oh, he's a d!€k."

 

 

He's a d!ck is fairly common around here.  Perhaps I have uncouth friends.  Yeah, probably I do.  I mean, they hang out with me.  ;)

[J-rap]

I don't swear myself, and used to hate hearing it, but as I've gotten older, it doesn't really bother me anymore.  Some words, like "darn," used to be considered swear words and now seem mild.  Swear words are just words that happen to express a strong emotion.  How strange, when you think of it, that some of those words are defined as really bad.  Even the word F_ _ _ , which used to really bother me a lot, doesn't anymore.  Why is it really any different than "darn"?

 

Except if it has sexual connotations, then it does bother me.  And if it uses the Lord's name in any way, it bothers me.  For someone who isn't a believer at all, I realize that saying "god d______" doesn't mean a thing other than expressing anger.  They aren't really trying to offend God.  But for a follower of any religion that acknowledges God, then it is offensive to me.

 

I do say "Sheesh," sometimes, and someone told me that it's actually an evolved version of saying "Jesus" as a swear word.  Of course I don't mean it that way at all, so I still say it. 

 

Maybe part of the vulgar feeling people get when they hear these words is that sometimes they come from an anger that is so dark.  It's more the anger itself that is bothersome.

[EMS83]

I used to cuss like a sailor.  Now I don't use any "bad" words hardly at all (things will slip out once in a blue moon).  DH uses profanity and some mild vulgarity in a stylistic way, but tailors his speech to whoever is in earshot and the context of the conversations.  My mom lets stuff slip out regardless of the situation (although she's getting better about that), and I had/have that trouble too.  That's a large part of why I just avoid it altogether.

 

Just for clarification: profanity includes the typical swear words s***, b*****, d****, f****, and yes even c*** despite it's fuzzy status.  Vulgarity is basically anything referring to body parts or just lewd in nature (d*ck, jerk off, c*nt, etc.).

Ass depends on context; but generally I class it with gay, where its harmless meaning is generally obsolete and is not understood in an innocuous way in our society.  But they may run across it in older literature, and we discuss how culture changes over time.

I haven't given them a detailed list, but I do make the distinction between profanity and vulgarity with my kids.  The same thing with hand gestures; I explain that in our nation, it's this thing, in another nation it would be something different, but the message that is communicated is what we want to avoid sending.  I also emphasize that we worry about monitoring our own selves and we don't pick apart other people.  And I stay nonreactive when we encounter things; no gasping or hushing or any of that.  

 

That's more than anyone ever wanted to know, lol!  For me it's a personal thing.  I grew up, though, that grown ups could talk like that, but kids couldn't (and if they did, there was a definite reaction).  But the "f word" and anything with God or Jesus in it was off limits, too.  Even just saying "Jesus Christ" out of context was bad (eg: in exasperation).  I think ultimately the words ave as much meaning as they are given in their social context.  /shrug.

[Katy]

Okay, I guess I can see that. There are still distinctions made that don't involve God's name, though. It's pretty common to hear, "Oh, he's an a$$." But not as common to hear, "oh, he's a d!€k."

 

I think the difference there is that a$$ would have come from jacka$$, which came from donkey, not from human anatomy.

 

Anatomy terms are a little more crass.

[BlsdMama]

This is idle musing. I generally don't use swear words much (except when I get my finger caught in the kitchen drawer), but I was talking to a sweet friend with a southern drawl recently and I see this odd distinction. She swears a little conversationally. She might say something can "go to he!!." It wouldn't bother her much to say that. She might say, "Damm!t" if she's ruffled about something. But she would never, ever say, "G-d damm!t." Why? Aren't these expressions all roughly translatable to the same sentiment?

 

I can think of other examples, but this probably suffices. I'm curious as to how a population internalizes these ideas that some of these expressions, while not classy, are excusable, while others are inexcusable though they carry about the same idea. I also think some regions (the southern U.S., for example) has more delineation than others. Why?

 

I'd use the "f" word (generally considered the worst of the worst?) before I'd use Jesus' name in vain.

 

For me? The difference between a culturally unacceptable word and breaking a commandment.