How did you find your religion/philosophical beliefs

[Minerva]

How did you come to your religious or philosophical beliefs? 

 

I have seen many times on this board people referring to when they were Christians, before they were atheists, when they were other denominations, before they were Muslim, when they converted to Judaism, how they are struggling. I am intrigued by the process of finding one's beliefs and would love to know how you settled on yours. 

 

My own situation is boring. I was raised in an atheist/Jewish family. Neither of my parents believed in God and our house was very secular. When I was in elementary school I tried to be a Christian for a while because so many families around us where Christian, and I thought it was cool. I think I spent a year trying to become a Christian and then it faded because I had a hard time understanding it.  

 

In my early twenties I explored eastern religions a little bit but didn't really find anything there for me either.

 

I am an atheist, prone to feeling the awesome power of the universe through science and beauty. 

 

Please let this be a respectful discussion. 

[Rosie_0801]

They sort of showed up in my brain, and I found out the conventional labels for them later!

[Guest]

I was raised in a Christian household and through a church split, family issues, and time, walked away from all of that. I still professed it but I was fed up with what was masquerading as spirituality at a megachurch. There wasn't a deep love or even understanding of scripture there, and nobody seemed to desire growth. Maybe that was just my perception of it.

 

I spent a fair chunk of time (years) away, not living like a believer though I'd have still defended it verbally as needed. Then I met my husband, who ran the college bible study at a church close to campus. He asked me to attend to see if I liked it, I consented (the first night was a movie night, so unintimidating enough - then I got to the meat). They not only loved the bible in an obvious, abiding way, but this group was actually able to go to scripture and answer some of the questions I'd had percolating for years, instead of just ignoring 'difficulties' with the text. And as I was reawakened to Christianity I delved into it much more seriously, myself, and found satisfaction for my soul in many areas it has been lacking. I do believe I was saved before, but I wasn't growing or changing - I was stuck as a young, ignorant believer and increasingly jaded by the church. A group of passionate, Jesus-loving spiritual zealots changed that. God used them and my spouse to grow and change me.

 

From there it was my own personal bible study and then sitting under expositional teaching in good and solid churches that really cemented things for me. Bible studies where I not only had to scrutinize scripture but my own heart and sins were an immense tool as well.

 

The Lord was very gracious to me in all this. If I had just stayed where I was before I started reattending church my life would be unrecognizably different than it is today.

[elegantlion]

I'm still searching. I was raised christian, although we didn't attend church as kids. Ex and I were active in the church until about 10 years ago when we moved. Then I started to read more about other religions, specifically things written from the perspective of that religion, not a christian perspective. I began to have doubts and have been sitting in that doubt for about 3-4 years. It took about 2 to feel comfortable not knowing. Right now, I'm okay not knowing, and I'm not waiting for some deity to knock me on the head and tell me to believe either. 

 

I used to feel like I was sitting in time out, missing out on the community of church and having something to offer my worship. Now I feel at peace with being standing off in my own field. For now, it's enough. 

[Love]

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Edited November 19, 2015 by Love

[Amira]

I was raised Mormon and I still choose to be a Mormon.  But I'm not really a very conventional one, depending on how you look at it, and my feelings and beliefs about religion and God have evolved considerably over the last 20 years. Watching how others live according to their beliefs, whether they're religious or not, has really helped me, as has living in so many different places.

[creekland]

I was raised being dragged to Sunday School (Christian) by a well-meaning neighbor - and my parents wanted Sunday mornings to themselves.  I hated it, but I did manage to learn several common Bible stories.

 

At age 11 my parents got divorced and both "found religion" in respective churches because both wanted custody and back then, it was a plus to be a church member regularly going to church.  That meant I now got dragged to church too.  (sigh)

 

At age 15 life was the pits.  I started reading the Bible for myself - fortunately - started in Matthew, not Genesis - and got stuck on the Sermon on the Mount.  It resonated with me.

 

At age 16 I joined a Christian Youth Group composed of kids from several denominations.  I learned a bit through them.

 

In college I took religion courses for my Humanities credits.  That started a ton of questioning.  I researched quite a few religions (from their viewpoint).  Personally, I can never be atheist as I look at all the intricacies of the world around me and know it CAN'T have come from nothing.  Or at least, it's not as likely as their being "a" creator, but who?  Which one?

 

My personal studies led me to my final answer - with a faith that is quite strong as I have reasons for it, not just soundbites I've overheard.

 

I also think a relationship with our Creator is personal rather than forced.  This means my beliefs about my Creator are between Him and me and might or might not agree with any particular group.  I can't say I attempt to "covert" others - esp on message boards!  IRL I don't mind discussing why I believe what I do, but I don't get into message board threads about it.  I have taught my kids everything in our discussions throughout the years, but whether they choose to believe or not is totally up to them and not a consideration for whether they belong in our family here on earth.  They know this.  So far, all have continued in our faith - quite strongly.

[rose]

I was raised secular. My mom is a closet Christian but my dad is an agnostic-anti-christian. Where I grew up was very secular compared to anywhere in the US, even OR :). When I was a teenager I was introduced to a youth group by a friend of mine. It was in a liberal run-of-the-mill Evangelical church. In school I was horribly ostracized but was less so in youth group. I suspect it was just a culture difference not that they were nicer because of spiritual reasons. I was attracted enough to continue going. I decided shortly after going that I wanted to join. My friend informed that I needed to "pray a prayer" to be on the inside. She rounded up the pastor, we found a corner and I prayed "the sinners prayer." It all seemed really weird but I trusted it. I'm a little jaded now about this experience but it was a start for me.

 

Anyway, I'm maybe a little on the spectrum, but I can't be two-faced. I am what you see. I don't like it in other either. I threw myself into the church and the Bible headlong. It didn't take long for me to become annoyed at the hypocrisy that surrounded me but I persisted. A few years later I met my dh in the church. He was also zealous. We strived together to try to make people more serious about what they were doing. I'm sure that we were thoroughly annoying!

 

Since we've been married we've made some hops that have led us away from standard Evangelical churches towards more Anabaptist groups. We've become more literal in our understanding of Jesus' words. We're attracted to the Anabaptists (fringe ones more than the established groups) because they tend to take Jesus literally. For example, when Jesus says, "Do not resist an evil-doer" and to "Love your enemies" they tend to go as far as possible with this to the point of not going to war or even using self-defence. This is appealing to us because otherwise we feel like we're playing a pick and chose game with the words of the one that we claim to be our king.

 

I hope wasn't offence. I tried to avoid being polemic. I'm passionate but what I mentioned but I want to respect others' journey as well. These topics are so hard to not make offensive because we all believe that we are right. I really want to hear others' stories as well so lets not soil this thread with in fighting. Start a new thread if someone offends you.

[Aiden]

I was raised in a nominally Christian home--we attended church, but mostly because it was the cultural thing to do. Some very hurtful hypocrisy drove me away from the church for a while, and during that time my entire family stopped attending. All but one of us came back, individually, to different churches within the same denomination, and I think as we came back, it was for more than social, cultural reasons--we'd each come to a real faith and came to the church as an expression of faith. Most of my family shares a very similar belief system.

 

My husband and I are in the process of changing. We're definitely Christians. We definitely believe the Bible and in salvation by grace through Jesus Christ. However, our time in interdenominational, international churches has opened our eyes to the way that our religious upbringing conflated patriotism and Christianity, and conflated political conservatism with Christianity, and promoted a rather self-focused form of "worship." Some of that is just coming up now, as we've spent the summer in the US and are seeing our familiar worship services through new eyes.

 

I'm not sure in which denomination we'll eventually land. We're definitely Christian, and we're definitely politically conservative, but the two are no longer synonymous in our minds, and we prefer a worship style where we're actually worshiping God and seeking to join our lives to *His* story, not just acknowledging the awesome stuff He does in *our* lives. I'm not sure if I explained that last bit well, but it's the best I have for now.

[Crimson Wife]

Born into it, drifted away but never really left as a teen & early 20something, and then recommitted. I struggled not with the actual doctrine as espoused in the Nicene Creed but with practices that I didn't understand the theological reasoning behind because I had dreadful RE growing up.

 

Why can't a woman be a priest? When I didn't know about the priest acting in persona Christi it seemed an arbitrary and unfair limitation reflecting sexism on the part of the Church. I found it much easier to understand and accept when I learned the theological justification. That's just one example.

 

Reading the works of the Protestant Reformers was actually helpful in clarifying that disagree at a fundamental level with Protestant Christianity. I have a lot of respect for how deeply Martin Luther, John Calvin, John Wesley, John Knox, etc. thought about God and Scripture but I just don't find their arguments compelling.

[Daria]

They sort of showed up in my brain, and I found out the conventional labels for them later!

 

That's as good an explanation of my experience as I could come up with, except that I'm still trying to sort out the conventional labels part.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I was raised in a small town church that felt like family. Through my teens and twenties I read many different perspectives/religious thoughts. I am not easily put in a box as I find something to respect in most religions and have pulled from many for my own beliefs. If I lived in a bigger area I might choose a Unitarian church but as I am in a small rural area I attend a pretty middle of the road Methodist church.

[SeekingHim77]

I was raised in a nominally Christian home and we attended Baptist churches off and on until I was 11 when my family stopped going to church period. When I was 19, a friend invited me to church and I felt the love of God wash over me there. I knew that I had finally found what I had spent my whole life looking for. I attended that church for a while. It was an Assembly of God church (pentacostal). My friend moved away and I didn't experience any real growth or fellowship there. After a couple of years, I became friends with a lady from a different church(Church of God-also pentacostal). The people there were more serious about Bible study and sanctification and they welcomed me with open arms. I went there for 7 years and became very involved.

 

Then the pastor of that church announced he was leaving. As we began going through the process to select a new pastor, I realized how much the church had been built around our previous pastor rather than around God's word. I realized how much could change just by bringing in a new pastor. The more I read scripture, the more I saw in the church that wasn't in line with God's word. I eventually left that church and have been searching for a church that fits with my beliefs more-a church that is really trying to follow God's word and not man made doctrines-for 11 years now. I have attended Baptist churches since then but haven't found a very solid one. I don't want go to church for concerts and pep talks and sometimes that's all I find there. I want congregational singing and expository preaching but can't find a church any where near me that includes both. I would settle for true expository preaching but that's not available either.

 

I believe the Bible is God's word and should be our standard for living-for all areas of life. I haven't met many people in real life who actually put this belief into practice.

[mommaduck]

My mother was "spiritual" and my stepfather was Nazarene. I was raised as a buskid in the IFB (Independent Fundamentalist Baptist). I was allowed to go to the Nazarene church when visiting stepgrands and I was permitted to attend the LDS church with my best friend's family ONCE (we were one of three families that were NOT LDS in our square...a square was how neighbourhoods were set up on a particular post...about 16-20 families in townhouses...best holiday block events EVER! Those LDS know how to do it, let me say!). I ended up being even more conservative than my mother and stepfather in some respects. But for them, it fit with their control issues. I remember being prayed over because of my father's sins and being told I would never be able to help but to be just like him (didn't even know the man. This was all due to influence of Bill Gothard in the church). However, the adults stopped attending church (and I was told it was because I embarrassed them and they wanted to make sure I still went).

 

Anyhow, I met my husband in highschool. A good SBC (Southern Baptist Church) boy. His father had been a pastor. I switched to the SBC. We married. We were froze out of the young marrieds group. We went to a Methodist church till after our first was born. Too many highfalutin people. I was in a near fatal accident with my baby and not a single phone call was made. I had visited the local Catholic Church at this time, with a Catholic friend (not his parish), since we lived three doors down (us, the funeral home, the post office, the church). Fail; I walked in looking like a Baptist girl at Easter, everyone else was ready for the ball game and stood in the entry where I had gone in and sat next to the grandmothers with my baby. The priest refused to even shake my husband's hand. However, we did later have a good relationship with a Catholic priest that my husband knew growing up and people from his parish. We just weren't ready for anything "not Protestant". We bounced into a non-denom, then a Mennonite church for a year of hell (ALL the women were on anti-depressants and when I confronted the minister about the gossip and other issues, he suggested I get on anti-depressants to help me conform since it seemed to help ALL the WOMEN...ran like hell out of there and left behind some narcissistic relatives that are now involved in the cult known as Charity Gospel Ministries/Charity Christian Fellowship), then back to the non-denom. We were part of an exodus (another control and spiritual abuse of authority issue...Gothard issues). We became Calvinists and bounced around the Reformed churches. It was difficult because we were "too conservative" for many and yet we didn't fit with the controlling and abusive conservative branches of Reformed. PCA, RPCNA, OPC, PRC, URCNA, and back to PCA.

 

The thing about the Reformed world: the love of the Early Church Fathers and reading plenty of Calvin and Luther. He started becoming convinced on "the Mary issue". He threw Luther at me (I could dismiss Luther; I was a Calvinist and Luther was a known nutcase). He threw Calvin at me. I threw a shoe at him. He was done with Protestantism. My option broke down to 1) he quits church altogether...a man who lives for church. 2) he attends one church while the kids and I attend another (not happening, not good for the kids). 3) I attend a non-Protestant church with him. He even gave me the option between Orthodox and Catholic. I already knew what the issues were with the Catholic Church (both theological and historical, given my heritage). I could see us blowing right through that church. We ended up within walking distance of an Orthodox Church also. So we decided to double time it between the PCA and the EOC (we had had a relative that had claimed to have converted years earlier). His first Sunday went well (I had been sick). My first Sunday was...eventful (leave it to me). First question at coffee hour was how many children did I have. That led to the deadpan question of, "why aren't you at the Mormon or Irish (Catholic) Church?!" I was saved from answering by my toddler throwing up. Everyone was very helpful and I made for Dodge with my kids. By this time, I had given up my moderatorship on a Reformed board and gone into "hiding". I joined a wonderful group of Orthodox women online, led by a Presvytera (priest's wife) and they were my support. They put up with my questions and my difficulties. They knew I wasn't in an announcing anything stage and they also directed me to one of Frederica's writings called, "In the Passenger Seat" (thank the dear heart and fellow Charleston native for writing that bit. I related to it). We invited the priest over. I showed him my bare walls (proudly) and declared myself a Calvinist and Puritan. We explained our situation and I told him that my family will attend church TOGETHER. I'm outspoken, but was willing to shut up, observe, and see what God had in store for me. Meanwhile, he could expect me to ask a ton of questions and demand answers ;) By the end of summer, the older priest made an announcement, while I was in the nursery...we were considered catechumen (okay, this usually ONLY happens after discussion and with permission. I was dealing with an old school, Greek immigrant priest. He was everyone's papou!). We gave notice to our PCA mission (we loved that pastor, so it was nothing against him). By Christmas, we were Chrismated as a family. What had changed me? God. What had really captured my attention? My children. I had NEVER seen our children take to any church like they did Orthodoxy. They were explaining things to me! Faith had become REAL to them! I was finally confronted with things I had questioned and beat down inside as a Fundamentalist and Puritan. Puzzle pieces came together. I was learning things in context. I was seeing a bigger picture. Many of the forbiddens had legitimate answers and I was seeing where the Reformers had gone into overkill. We had "family" also for the first time. I'm still learning. Faith is a journey. It's not an outline you have to memorize and get all your theological ducks in a row (no pun intended). There ARE mysteries and we can accept them without thinking we have to answer all of them or answer for God. We CAN recognise that God doesn't HAVE to work inside of a box. We just know where He has placed our individual selves. And I learned so much about GRACE that I had only heard about in the Reformed churches, but experienced so little of. Eyes on your own plate! No one is ahead of another. We just have different illnesses and need different medicine. I learned that I had only been given a portion of Scripture; now I had ALL of it! I now had ALL of the Traditions, not just part of one piece of one Tradition (part of the Bible). Confession...a healing balm I'd only heard about and now was able to experience without fear of spiritual abuse. I told my husband before we converted, that if we converted, this would be it. I'm dying Orthodox and expect an Orthodox burial. I have the Saints to look to, both as examples to request they pray for me. I have experienced small miracles. We've since moved. There were hurts with our move. Only some godparents are in contact with us. I miss my old parish, but I also love my new priest. We live far from any parish and rarely attend. Right now, I only have a phone call with my priest and deacon every couple of months. There are three Orthodox families in town. I'm a bit lonely, but I will NOT attend any of these Baptist or Pentacostal churches here in town. I can't. It's not the same. The beliefs, the structure, the people. My son and I eavesdrop during "geriatric hour" at the fast food joint and listening to these people are enough to remind us why we won't. The hatefulness of the man that invited my children to VBS when he found out they were Orthodox, "I KNOW about YOU people!" he spat at my children. The old biddies that constantly make comments about my covering and lecture me about the evils of Catholics (because they still don't get that it's not convincing me and it's insulting me as well as the Catholics they talk about). Sorry, but some pitiful story about rollerskating into a Catholic church at 8yrs old and seeing statues and that's when you "decided to become a Christian instead of Catholic" is just plain laughable. But anyhow, that is where I'm at. Imperfect, struggling, dealing with crazy people, but still Orthodox. It's who I am and what I am. I can't separate myself from that. (a little side note: about the time that we had become Calvinists, we had had a stillborn. The chaplain on call that day was Orthodox. He comforted and made us smile even in our grief. He was one of the clergy there the day our baby was buried with those from other families)

 

[Ipsey]

I grew up in a non-religious household and was evangelized by my best friend in Jr. High. I became a passionate Evangelical Christian through her. 

 

I bought "literal, inerrant Bible" "Ye must be born again". I found a lot of peace and hope in Jesus. My family situation was stressful, and I was extremely hard on myself to be the best at everything--grades, sports, etc. Having Jesus was being accepted and forgiven and loved without it being related to my performance. I was a very passionate Christian, helping lead worship, prayer groups, Bible studies etc. through high school.

 

I was very discouraged by other Christians when I was in high school however. Other kids in my church were pretty badly behaved--drinking, drugs, sex, etc. I was incredibly uneasy at this and started seeking out the Plain movements, where Christians seemed to live very clear, distinct lives.

 

I wound up with lots of Amish and Mennonite friends. In college, I started wearing plain clothing and a headcovering. I began dating a man in a parachurch ministry at my college, and while he wasn't plain or Anabaptist, he supported me. We married, and attended a plain Charity Christian Fellowship church occasionally, or a Conservative Mennonite Church, when we could make the drive. The rest of the time, we attended an Evangelical Free Church in our city. Husband had grown up Catholic, but never really believed. He had been an atheist for years and had become a Born-again Christian several years before we met. 

 

About 15 years into our marriage, when our children were young and my husband had left the ministry and was pursuing his Ph.D. in a science field, we reevaluated our beliefs so we could be sure of what we passed on to our children, and found that we believed fewer and fewer of the Bible's claims. We were still highly involved in our church, and  my husband was asked to be a deacon, but we turned it down. Within the year, we had abandoned religious faith entirely and embraced a non-faith based reality.

 

We're non-religious, non-theist, and we don't promote religion of any kind in our home.

 

 

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I was born into a Catholic family.  It was taken for granted that I'd be Catholic.  My parents sent me to religious education and we went to church.  I didn't think about it all that much until I hit around 13 when I was pretty certain I did not believe any of it.  I asked my parents if I could quit religious education classes and they said yes.  We didn't attend church much after that either for some reason I'm unsure of.

 

That is somewhat a simple explanation because there were times I thought about it seriously, mostly as a young adult.  There really wasn't any doubt that I did not believe, but ya know I live surrounded by people who do believe this stuff so I definitely had moments where I wondered why I didn't. 

[Pawz4me]

I don't think I have found mine yet.  Or maybe there's nothing to find.

 

I was raised Christian and sort of floated along with that until my late 30's.  Then a series of events happened that made me (and DH) start questioning a lot of things.  It didn't take us long to come to the realization that we aren't good fits for organized religion.  We've been happier and less stressed since we broke away from that.

 

Since then I've done a lot of researching and exploring on my own, but nothing definitive has come of it.

 

I'm open to all possibilities.

[LucyStoner]

I was raised Catholic. We were very active and involved in the church, which was a source of stability in a challenging childhood.

 

I truly believed and was enthused to be confirmed and was even considering religious life, possibly as a nun.

 

Until one day I didn't believe anymore.

 

It just didn't add up. Partially it was reading the bible 6 times and a lot about religious history. Partially it was a about the (to me) clearly mythological and allogorical aspects of the faith. The more I learned, the less I knew.

 

A small part of deconversion was seeing my brother struggle with coming out as trans and gay but I was 80% or more there already. What he experienced from the church wasn't consistent with my values.

 

I believe nature is awesome enough that I don't need to explain it using religious stories.

 

ETA- obviously my values and morals are seeped in a mix of both being raised Catholic and being from a Catholic family. When I married my husband (he's an Athiest from a vaguely Protestant but not religiously active family) I realized just how much that legacy affects the lense through which I see the world and how I communicate with others and expect others to act. That's been an interesting process. We've flirted with cultural Catholicism (my older son was baptized and we attended a Catholic Church for a couple of years) and with attending other churches, including a Unitarian church and a couple of very liberal American Baptist churches but ultimately we haven't done more than visit with friends or attend weddings and funerals in the last several years. I do miss aspects of church, but no aspects of faith.

[Amy in NH]

Raised secular with some religious experiences but always searching since I was a small child, I did a lot of research into world religion, history, human nature, and sociology, and came to the conclusion that 1) people need to feel connected to something larger than themselves, 2) religion was created to manipulate the masses for the gain of a few powerful people, 3) "holy" books were written by men to take advantage of #1 in pursuit of #2.

 

I don't believe there is a big person out there in the universe who cares what each and every increasing individual on our puny inconsequential planet does - no personal god.  I do believe that we are all connected through the energy of the universe (which is neither created nor destroyed), which is only a facade for what happens in an extra-dimensional plane of existence which is outside our ability to fully comprehend.

[mamaraby]

Me: Lutheran (ELCA) - First Communion/Confirmation - Saved/Born Again - Bible College (Moody) - Pastor's Wife - Agnostic - Dabbling (paganism, buddhism) - Atheist/Humanist

 

DH: Baptist (GARBC) with heavy Word of Life participation, raised YEC, went to church three times a week, saved when he was 4yo and "rededicated" multiple times throughout his childhood and young adulthood - Bible College (Moody) - Pastor - Seminary - Pastor - Dabbling (paganism, buddhism) - Atheist

 

In other words, it's complicated.

[gardenmom5]

I will have to keep this very short.

 

I was raised in an agnostic/atheist family. my parents sporadically attended a Presbyterian church until I was in 2nd grade, when my father started taking us to a Unitarian church (I utterly loathed the place, almost from the beginning. It made my skin crawl. let's just say, that particular congregation made the other UU congregations we rarely visited seem downright conservative in comparison. plus there were some people who simply gave me the creeps.).  then my father died, and we eventually stopped.

 

my grandmother's were both Christians -

one attended a Presbyterian church, but I felt good with her and felt like she was sincere.  However, I had very little contact with her.(my father's half-sister taught at a Christian girls school in india for 40 years. I adored her as a child looked forward to when she'd come home for a visit every three years.). 

the other was baptist, but only watched televangelists on TV because she didn't like any of the churches in seattle  - she said the people were all snooty. (big, huge eye roll.) I had the most contact with her

 

I had exposure to many different churches during this time from liberal to conservative, from mainline to "not".  I did lots of my own pondering and studying and looking at different churches. I thought about what I really believed.  I attended a social activity at a LDS church (I had a very casual friend), and as soon as I walked through the doors, I felt "home".  (the only church I ever visited where I felt that.) It was still several years before I was able to go back, (fear of my grandmother)  but knew that was where I wanted to be. independently, I was reading their teachings and seeing how they meshed with what I had already come to believe.  when I was ready to deal with grandmama, I joined the church. I consider it the best (and most important) choice I've ever made, and that I am a much better person for it.  that was 35 years ago.

[Violet Crown]

Raised United Methodist; my family didn't believe in God but did believe in good hymn-singing and potluck suppers. Which I don't mean flippantly; there was real concern for community in the churches we attended and that was a valuable thing.

 

As a teenager a close friend interested me in Christianity at a deeper, more personal level. She and her family were and are the genuine article: living witnesses to beauty and Truth. But her church was Charismatic Protestant and I found the services freakish and horrifying (no offense meant to Charismatics; this was the '80s; later I attended masses that were just as freakish and horrifying). I began reading, ran into Cardinal Newman's Development of Doctrine, and was completely convinced. The week I turned 18 I showed up for RCIA and signed on.

 

Unfortunately the Catholic Church I joined didn't seem at all to be the Church Newman described, and after many unhappy years, my Charismatic childhood friend, also unhappy, decided to become Orthodox, a faith which I found very attractive, but which on closer examination I didn't find to be an improvement of my situation. But by the time I decided against Orthodoxy (as did my friend, for different reasons), I had found Traditional Catholicism, and was at home at last.

[albeto.]

Raised in a xian home, in a xian town, in a xian nation, in a xian culture. Took it for granted the claims were legit, after all "everyone knows" it's so. 

 

back and forth

 

flip flop

 

done 

[mommaduck]

Love it when people use the Greek form :)

[Loowit]

I was born into a church going family.  We went to church twice on Sunday and once on Wednesday and for the entire week when an outside evangelist came in to do revival meetings.  It was part of my life as long as I can remember.  I felt like I had to be at church whenever the doors were open.  But in late high school/early college I realized that I had been a social Christian and had no real life change or relationship with Christ.  I hadn't really "bought in", it was all about looking the part on the outside to my family and friends. One day at summer camp where I was a counselor I became convicted of my lack of dedication to a relationship with Christ, and I asked the youth pastor who was speaking that week to baptize me.

 

My beliefs and faith have strengthened over time.  My thoughts on church life have really been the biggest change.  I was raised to practically idolize the pastor as some super Christian, but going to Bible college and getting to know a lot of pastors I figured out that they are people too, fallible and in need to grace just as much as any.  After having kids DH and I left the institutional church and started to attend a home church that really helped to shape my views.  We no longer meet with them, all the families have moved on to other things in life.  Books like Pagan Christianity and Reimagining Church: Pursuing the Dream of Organic Christianity both by Frank Viola made a huge impact on my view of Church.  DH and I are still trying to figure out where God wants us, but we are both firm Christians.

[livetoread]

I was raised conservative Christian (generally well-meaning and nice, non-abusive, conservative Christians) and was quite serious about it on and off until early 40s when some experiences started me seriously questioning some of my beliefs. I was already more a more liberal Christian but I continued to very liberal to vague theist, to non-believer. Earning a couple of advanced degrees in psychology laid more ground work. 

 

I think the internet was instrumental in this process as I was exposed to other people who were thinking similarly to me. Reading and studying widely, and listening closely to the answers I was getting to my questions from all sides fueled my loss of faith. My husband from a similar background was going through a similar process which added to it (though I ended up hanging on much longer than he did). Ultimately, my questions were best answered by "there probably isn't any sort of personal deity out there and I don't have any reason to think there is anything else out there either."

[raptor_dad]

I was raised in a secular Southern Baptist Home. We seldomly went to church, but my dad went to seminary at Southeastern. We regularly went to VBS. My uncle went to Southwestern and spent his entire life with the Home Mission Board planting churches. I have many other relatives who are Baptist ministers, including some of those SBC assholes who traveled around preaching in favor of Vietnam. Overall, I was very familiar with Christian doctrine and would self identify with the no longer extant liberal wing of the SBC... call it the "Jimmy Carter" wing of the church.

 

For me religion, politics, and ethics were always linked. I remember doing a term paper in 7th grade on Thoreau. In 8th grade I remember reading "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee" and "In the Spirit of Crazy Horse". I went to majority minority schools in Greensboro. So, the Woolworth sit -ins and the civil rights movement were heavily covered. Scouts forced me to face this. I had numerous political discussions in  the various "Citizenship" badges. I had to argue the whole non-church attending belief thing at my Eagle board... it was quite contentious.

 

In college I was more politically active and couldn't reconcile the labor martyrs and civil rights martyrs with a simple Christian belief, the liberation theology and Catholic worker folks not withstanding. I have a strong scientific, rationalist beliefs. I am attracted to some eastern concepts.... overall I find Capra or Tipler's quantum mystical beliefs to be too wooly but no more so than christian belief.

 

Currently, I am not christian. I am either an atheist or a clockmaker deist. DW and the kids belong to a UCC church and are struggling to find an intellectually consistent form of christianity. I can't do that. DW is more comfortable with ambiguity. For me I would have to be either faithful and evangelical or a non-believer. But, I can understand our gay catholic friends who were married on the lawn by their parish priest. DW finds that intellectually inconceivable. I see it as a personal matter of faith.

 

ETA: I also remember in highschool when I was president of our Amnesty chapter and we refused to submit national dues for political reasons. AI didn't support political prisoners like Mandela since they weren't purely non violent... Later in HS when Mandela was released they didn't have any problems gloating...Morality is always hard.

 

[LucyStoner]

I will have to keep this very short.

 

I was raised in an agnostic/atheist family. my parents sporadically attended a Presbyterian church until I was in 2nd grade, when my father started taking us to a Unitarian church (I utterly loathed the place, almost from the beginning. It made my skin crawl. let's just say, that particular congregation made the other UU congregations we rarely visited seem downright conservative in comparison. plus there were some people who simply gave me the creeps.). then my father died, and we eventually stopped.

 

my grandmother's were both Christians -

one attended a Presbyterian church, but I felt good with her and felt like she was sincere. However, I had very little contact with her.(my father's half-sister taught at a Christian girls school in india for 40 years. I adored her as a child looked forward to when she'd come home for a visit every three years.).

the other was baptist, but only watched televangelists on TV because she didn't like any of the churches in seattle - she said the people were all snooty. (big, huge eye roll.) I had the most contact with her

 

I had exposure to many different churches during this time from liberal to conservative, from mainline to "not". I did lots of my own pondering and studying and looking at different churches. I thought about what I really believed. I attended a social activity at a LDS church (I had a very casual friend), and as soon as I walked through the doors, I felt "home". (the only church I ever visited where I felt that.) It was still several years before I was able to go back, (fear of my grandmother) but knew that was where I wanted to be. independently, I was reading their teachings and seeing how they meshed with what I had already come to believe. when I was ready to deal with grandmama, I joined the church. I consider it the best (and most important) choice I've ever made, and that I am a much better person for it. that was 35 years ago.

My mother's mother is also a Baptist of the TV variety. It's on the tv, ergo it is true, yanno?!

 

She was incensed that my mother converted to Catholicism. She's a piece of work on so many levels and I am ashamed to say that she was what I thought all Baptists and most Protestants were like until I was a teenager.

[Closeacademy]

As a child we went to a number of churches including a "hippie" church where we sat in a circle and the pastor played guitar, we sang and then talked (best church ever) but I also went to mass with my baby sitter and Lutheran services with family.  My parents had both been raised Baptist.  I was confirmed in the Lutheran church but there were things I didn't agree with.  So explored, talked to people, and read a lot. And discovered through conversations with God and introspection what I really believe.

[PrincessMommy]

I love reading these kinds of stories!!  Can't wait to go back and read each one... but for now, I'll jump in with myself...

 

I was raised in a very religious family.  I grew up Methodist but when I was 14 my parents got involved with the Charismatic movement.  We moved to a church with the whole contemporary Christian music stuff.   It was great for a  14yr old.  It was a big shift for our family because we lost some friends when my parents did that.     I was married at the Charismatic church (although dh and I were actually already going to a different church - we met at that church). 

 

For 13yrs we went to a Non-denom./Charismatic/Reformed church.  Many of the people at that church had moved from our previous church together (long story).  I really appreciated the Reformed theology because our previous non-denom. had become a little weird and it was a little too much "anything goes" theologically.  Lots of weird stuff.  I appreciated that Calvinism looked to historical interpretations of the Bible (although in retrospect not quite far enough back in history :laugh: ).  Our pastor was very careful about following any new movement.  He was careful about picking music for the church.  Our previous church would just do anything that sounded nice and got people "in the mood." etc.  I really appreciated that there was some thoughtfulness behind these things.

 

FF 13ys... it was time to move on.  Church had found a building that was not convenient...most of our friends were not going either... it was time.  We found ourselves at a Baptist church that was very "seeker friendly".   Theological issues were starting to bug me.  The day we joined the church our Worship pastor resigned.  My gut just told me it was going to be a problem.   I was right.  I would go home crying...worship was more like a pep rally...not worship.  At the same time I was doing a local Community Bible Study on Revelations (with Daniel and Ezekiel thrown in).  I would read about the visions of heaven and heavenly worship and then go to church as see a disconnect from that.  I kept asking myself... "Where did that NT church go?  Jesus didn't just leave them high and dry.  Where did it go?"    I had heard about Orthodoxy but had never really considered it something for me... it was more in the context of historical worship - which I love learning about.   I went on a quest.  Read about some historical worship stuff from an Ana-baptist teacher (cannot remember who - I think he was Mennonite).     Then one summer in the Sonlight Catalog I found for Year 10 (??) they had the book "Becoming Orthodox" about  a group of Campus Crusade for Christ leaders trying to figure out what happened to the early church so that they could re-create it.  Well, that was exactly what I was trying to figure out.  I was mostly interested in ancient worship...but it  quickly moved to asking, "What did the early church believe and when did they believe it?"     My brother-in-law is a liturgist (Lutheran) and I had loads of questions for him too.  He pointed me towards reading the letters of the Apostolic Fathers.  From there I also read a lot of other apologetic works by Orthodox theologians and converts. 

 

But, my move  to Orthodoxy was not a straight line.   My dh and kids were not at all interested.  I went to several services... my family went to a few... they always disliked it.  I became pregnant with my 6th... and decided to give up the quest.  We compromised by being Lutheran for 4-5 yrs... after that I just couldn't do that anymore  (it was Lent 2005). There were too many things happening in the church that I was having problems with.  It took about a year and at Easter 2006 I was Chrismated Orthodox.  Five of our kids came along with me (not all at once...staggered over a few months)... my husband joined us just last year. 

 

Never in a million years would I have believed I would be in a liturgical church.  I was very committed to contemporary worship... I was in the worship band, my husband played bass.  I associated the liturgy with my childhood church of old ladies and stale worship.   I disliked most church hymns.   But, here I am.  It's a miracle.  I love it.  I could never go back... ever.  I am home.  

[raptor_dad]

As a child we went to a number of churches including a "hippie" church where we sat in a circle and the pastor played guitar, we sang and then talked (best church ever)

 

Folk singer and senior UU minister at First Parish in Cambridge, Fred Small would be just the sort of minister to pull me back in to the church.

[MEmama]

I was raised without religion and have never felt any pull toward any. I have no need for any explanations other than the purely scientific.

[lailasmum]

I was raised without religion and have never felt any pull toward any. I have no need for any explanations other than the purely scientific.

Me too. Raised without religion and in a country that is very secular and just never felt the need for religion at all.

 

My dad's family were some flavour of Christian but he rarely talked about it. I know he found his young home life quite joyless and frustrating as they were quite puritanical and he never fitted in, they successfully raised an atheist.

[lllll]

nm

[MEmama]

Me too. Raised without religion and in a country that is very secular and just never felt the need for religion at all.

 

My dad's family were some flavour of Christian but her rarely talked about it. I know he found his young home life quite joyless and frustrating as they were quite puritanical and he never fitted in, they successfully raised an atheist.

My dad had a similar experience. As a Southerner in the 1940's and 50's, going to church and pretending to believe in it was mandatory, but even as a boy none of that resonated to him. He was always science minded and escaped (his word) as soon as he could.

 

My mother was baptized Lutheran but her family wasn't religious. For some time during my childhood we attended a Methodist church, but it was a VERY liberal hippie church. Think 1970's northern California... It was all potlucks and macramé and group camping trips where the pastor (?) would play the guitar...When said pastor left (long after I'd refused to attend any longer), my parents and most of the congregation left because his replacement actually wanted to talk about religion. Lol.

[abba12]

Bad, bad situation as a teen, clung to whatever was around me to get through it, The person in the situation I was in actively discouraged and tried to prevent me having a Christian faith, but I feel God was speaking to me during those years, reaching out to me. In the process of leaving the situation I experienced some things that I personally believe 'prove' God to me. Some supernatural stuff that I'm sure the athiests around here would call crazy :)

 

After I left the situation I attended church but was dissatisfied by their hypocrisy and ignorance of the bible. I began reading theological books of all types, any I could get my hands on. And blogs and articles online. I wanted to not only know what I believed, but understand why I didn't believe other things. I believe understanding the opposite opinion is vital to holding your own meaningful one. Some things I read 'clicked' with me, others did not. I took what clicked, and left what didn't. Simple as that. I sorted what felt right to me from what felt wrong, issue by issue, rather than finding a denomination to conform to. My relationship with God is personal, I have never bothered reading a 'church statement of faith' or anything else. I believe what I believe through my own experiences, and my own study, which leaves me with a mix of beliefs that don't quite fit in with anyone. But I'm ok with that. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Love it when people use the Greek form :)

 

At the risk of seeming dumb, what is the "Greek form"?

[Onceuponatime]

My mother grew up nominal catholic, my father generic Protestant . When I was a child we went to a variety of Protestant denominations. The most fun was the Puerto Rican one with the tambourine playing ladies. When we got back to the states, around the time I was 11, we landed in a fundamentalist denomination and became permanently attached to it. When my mother divorced my father around the time I was 30, my beliefs began a slow metamorphosis, speeding up over the last six years or so. I became more open to liberal/ progressive theology, which led to studying historical and textual criticism, ancient history, and modern science. That eventually led to a kind of panentheism, which led to scepticism, which brought me to non- belief. I still attend church to avoid social and family conflict.

[albeto.]

At the risk of seeming dumb, what is the "Greek form"?

 

“xian†is shorthand for "christian" because of the first letter of the greek word,, which means "christ."

[SparklyUnicorn]

“xian†is shorthand for "christian" because of the first letter of the greek word,, which means "christ."

 

Oh

 

I don't get it...

 

LOL

[mommaduck]

At the risk of seeming dumb, what is the "Greek form"?

 

X is the symbol for Chi in Christos/Christ. It was often used by Christians, particularly Greek as shorthand for Christians and Christianity. So, though some groups in recent decades have raised a fuss over "x-mas" and all of that, it really is much older and comes from a very NON-offensive background. I know some Jewish people cannot, due to certain religious views, type it out and so use the Chi form (not sure if they realise they are doing this or not). I know others do it for various other reasons. I like to smile and think the best, regardless of intent or reason. I see xian or xianity and I smile, because I know what the X stands for in Greek and in our Church history :)

[albeto.]

Oh

 

I don't get it...

 

LOL

 

You recognize "Merry Xmas"?

 

That's the "x" - it's shorthand. 

 

I'm lazy. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

You recognize "Merry Xmas"?

 

That's the "x" - it's shorthand. 

 

I'm lazy. 

 

No I get it.  I just don't know why it was pointed out.

 

Does that make sense? 

 

Probably not...

[albeto.]

No I get it.  I just don't know why it was pointed out.

 

Does that make sense? 

 

Probably not...

 

Oh, yeah.

 

I get it. 

 

I totally get it, lol! 

[Lady Florida.]

I was a cradle Catholic, born into a non-devout family. We were more ethnically Catholic than religious. I did attend Catholic school until 4th grade when my parents divorced and I was no longer welcome (this was before non-Catholics went to Catholic school). I didn't agree with everything in the Catholic Church but never considered leaving until I met dh. His ex was Catholic and he didn't want to belong to our small parish that was still home to many of her friends. He was raised Methodist, also non-devout and I had no problem converting, so I did. He actually wasn't going to church when I met him. I got him attending again.

 

So that's my background. A number of things came together all around the same time that contributed to my deconversion. One, the political climate in the U.S. at the time insinuated that God (the one I believed in) favored a specific political party - the one to which I did not belong and never considered joining. That made me angry. Two, we started homeschooling and for the first time in my life I came in contact with people who interpreted the bible literally and believed in a young earth. I never knew such people existed and didn't understand how they could believe such things.

 

Finally, I joined two bible study groups, one through my church and one through Christian Women's Club. I also bought a bible of my own and began reading it at home. The more I read and studied, both on my own and with the groups, the more my credulity regarding Christianity slipped away. At some point I decided "this isn't real", however I still wasn't ready to give up the idea of a higher being. Although I started searching, I didn't consider either Judaism or Islam because I had already let go of the the god on which they're based. I looked at various Eastern religions, various types of Paganism, and even some New Agey stuff. 

 

Nothing stood out to me as being right and true. Either they were all true or all untrue. Since many belief systems claim to be The One True Religion, the latter made more sense. They're all untrue. 

 

Some people feel lost when they let go. Some wish they still believed in something. Some are afraid. Some just miss the sense of community they had when they belonged to a church. I don't fit any of those. I'm happy and confident in my non-belief and I don't miss any of it.

[gardenmom5]

My mother's mother is also a Baptist of the TV variety. It's on the tv, ergo it is true, yanno?!

 

She was incensed that my mother converted to Catholicism. She's a piece of work on so many levels and I am ashamed to say that she was what I thought all Baptists and most Protestants were like until I was a teenager.

 

those were the days preceding jimmy swaggart, and tammy faye's buckets of mascara.  makes my eyes water just thinking about it. 

 

My mom wanted to attend a Methodist church as a teenager - she stopped her.  it was the *wrong* church. (they weren't attending any church.)  It made me sad for my mom when I learned about it.  the first of two huge forks in the road for my mom, where my grandmother prevented her from choosing a path that could have made a much happier life had she been able to make the choice she wanted to make. (the other was where she went to college. my grandmother wanted her to live at home so she could keep her under her thumb. she wanted to go to WSU with her bff.)

 

I knew none of that when at 13 I decided she was a royal hypocrite.  I just couldn't believe anyone who really believed in God could be like her in any way, shape or form.    no matter how many times I was told "she loves you Kristen" - I was adamant. NO, this is not love.  it was a saving grace for me.

[SKL]

My parents were "born again" when I was around 6yo, converting from very different religions, so I was familiar / comfortable with the idea of searching for the spiritual path that "fit."  I was raised Protestant from that point, but after age 14 it was my own choice whether and how to worship/study.

 

I had a sort of crisis when I was 16, lost belief, and gradually came up with my own idea of God over the ensuing several years.

 

When I was a young adult, I became good friends with some Hindus, Muslims, atheists, etc. whom I met during grad school.  Around this time I started reading books about the major world religions.  Next I started reading the holy books from those religions.  Gradually I found the common threads that spoke to me from the holy books.

[Guest]

NM.  I think I will start another thread.  I'll call it S/O How do you know what you believe?  K?  

[waa510]

For me, it was more a process of learning what I wasn't. Kind of similar to homeschooling ideological choice, honestly. Some things felt alll wrong. I was raised Roman Catholic and remember from a very young age feeling largely uncomfortable in church, talking about Christianity, etc. Once I was old enough to make the connection that that isn't normal (feeling 'bad' when in church!), I started looking at other religious beliefs. 

 

Finding UU was a mix of google and whining to friends about how I wish a religion like *insert UU beliefs* existed. One friend looked at me and said, "That sounds like UU." I'm like "What is that?! Is that a thing?!" Googled, talked to hubby, googled more, listened to an NPR talk on it, and Dh found a UU church 10 minutes away from us when we moved to VA. We went to a social thing there, read some brochures in the front lobby and it was like THIS! THIS is what I've been looking for. Surprisingly, Dh felt an immediate connection to it too, despite religious stuff never really being anything we talked about while dating. Dh and I are very well matched, I guess. ;)

 

I never felt uncomfortable at my UU church. Ever. I never felt like I couldn't be genuinely me. I didn't have to hide or pretend to be "into it" like everyone else. Going to my church felt like going home, or sitting in the world's comfiest easy chair. Similar to how I feel when I read WTM!!

[happi duck]

Interesting, thought provoking thread!

 

I was influence by my late parents. I was raised with love.

 

I was naive and thought love was at the core for everyone.

 

Dh was raised with hate and naive me followed him into his world because I could not fathom hate.

 

It nearly killed me.

 

I think I took love for granted and was deceived by hate masquerading as wisdom.

 

My awful experience led me to return to love.