kahlanne Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Dh and I are disagreeing on what we would actually do in a situation and I know I am right. Now I need yall to side with me and all will be fine. :lol: Actually I really just want to know which way most people would fall on this topic. We are not really arguing. Yesterday I was driving south on a two lane paved hwy. It was in a school zone so I was driving slow. As I passed by a man, late 60's on a riding mower, my big back passenger window on my suburban popped. Immediately I came to a stop and asked ds, age 5, if he was okay as it was the window by his head. He was fine so I turned around two driveways down and pulled into the homeowners drive. The window had a small hole in it as I was turning around but when I came to a stop in his driveway and opened/closed my door to get out, all the shattered glass started falling. Still it was only a hole about the size of my fist. I got my son out and checked over him placing him in the front seat. The guy mowing mowed over and asked the problem without shutting off mower. The window and ds was on the side that he pulled his mower beside so he could see the problem. I told him politely that his mower threw a rock and hit my window. He said it wasn't him. I said excuse me. He said he mows with the blower away from the road when on the ditch area and therefore it couldn't be him. I told him I understood his reasoning but pointed out that of the six houses on the right side of the road, he was the only one outside and he happened to be mowing right next to road as I passed by. He said maybe it was somebody I met. I pointed out that for the back passenger window to be shattered it had to come from the right side of the road, plus nobody was home on the opposite side homes either. Meeting someone would have busted the front or possibly one of the front driver side windows. He said "It wasn't me and I don't have rocks in my yard." I told him I didn't know if it was a rock for sure but something hit my window as soon as I passed. I told him I was going to call my insurance to see what they needed. He said okay but it wasn't him and he was going to mow his grass. I called insurance and they wanted police report. I had deputy come out and when I told him what happened and what the guy said he replied, "So why did you call us? It is your word against his." He didn't even speak to the guy because he was still mowing. The guy's grown grandson drove into his driveway next door at that time and came over to check on his granddad. He got a broom and started sweeping up the glass falling. He immediately saw the carseat and ds and asked if he was ok. I told him he was and was so happy he wasn't hurt because it could have been bad. Meanwhile the officer is writing a report stating what I said and the guy is still mowing. Finally the officer flagged the old man down and asked his name, etc but no details. He gave me the card with report number and left. Oh and in the meantime I had dd pick up ds so he wouldn't have to ride near the glass. Even with her walking across guy's property with carseat and ds, the old fart didn't ask if he was hurt. Every time he mowed by he would say it wasn't him because he mows with blower turned inside even while on ditch. Of course when he made the loop the blower was pointed toward the road and it was only 2 mower distances away from the road. In other words he didn't make big loops. I drove my car and got it repaired at a cost of $300. The amount I had pay to fix our air conditioner which went out the day before on the truck. Looks like no air for us for a while....in Louisiana. It is taking all I can to not wish ill on the old man and be a good Christian. I am so angry though. This is money we didn't have especially considering the ac problems. Even moreso I am angry that not once did he stop mowing other than to pause and say it wasn't him. Not once did he check on anyone to see if they were injured. His 20's grandson had more decency than him. Whatever happened to doing what is right? Being a good neighbor? Btw, this is a small community, and we live right down the road less than half a mile. Only reason it is that far is because we are on one side of the ballpark and he is on the other. The other issue I have is with the police. I understand they couldn't make him pay, etc. but is it so hard for him to question the guy and point out the facts that it had to be his fault? He could have pointed out the lack of other people around, angle puts it from right side only, his side, and the fact that the only glass lost was in front of his drive and on his drive. While I was driving home the rest of the glass blew out so I couldn't have been lying and trying to pin it on him. I wouldn't have been able to drive it and only have a small hole until I got to his drive. The police could have told him while we can't make you pay, we want to point out that by all likelihood it came from your mower in hopes that he owns it. Anyway, Dh says that most would deny and he would consider doing it as well. I was astonished. He said that that is why we have insurance on the car. I disagree. I might say I don't think I did it but if I saw all the points that it had to be me then I would concede. That is if I ever denied in the first place which I don't think I would. I definitely would stop and try to help the people even if I didn't think it was me. I would check on them and offer a bag and tape to put over the window while driving if I had it. I would not continue mowing! When I was a child my mom's mower did the same, rock came from under deck side not blower and we filed it on homeowner's insurance. They didn't have to sue us to get mom to do this and my family was considered poor white trash by most in the town. This guy's house is one of the nicer houses in the area. Not saying he is rich or doesn't deserve to keep his money but when you cause an accident you own up to it. Dh says that isn't the way the world works any more. He said you deny until you are found at fault and have to pay. I hate that! What say you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I am sorry this happened - but it was an accident. Accidents happen. It may have been caused by the mowing, but that does not make it the man's "fault". What is he supposed to do, stop mowing whenever cars drive on the road? We had a stone hit the windshield when driving, because the car in front of us threw up a rock. It will need to be replaced - but it does not make it the other driver's fault. We are not happy that we have to pay, but we chose the high deductible car insurance. I am glad your child was not hurt. I agree that it would have been nice if the guy had been more considerate and stopped to help. But I can also see how in this litiguous society this might be construed as an admission of guilt. The first piece of legal advice for any kind of accident is never to admit fault; that might potentially jeopardize the person's insurance coverage. 47 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahlanne Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 Sorry so long. Guess I needed to vent. Its been a rough couple of weeks. I have had many blessings but it is so hard to focus on them at times. In this month my truck had issues and needed repair. Ok...we had savings. Our modad/septic went out....more savings gone. Then last weekend my son, same one sitting by window in truck, ran into my older teen while she was moving the boiling tea off the stove to pour it into pitcher at sink and knocked the pot down his shoulder. It was second degree burns. My best friend is a pediatric burn nurse and it was her day off so she ran over and helped us treat it until we could take him to doctor the next morning. Doctor agreed to have it treated as outpatient for the next 3 days. It had to be scrubbed and cleaned which was horrible. They put a medicated pad on it that stays for 5 more days but doesn't have to be scrubbed. My family that hasn't visited in 14 yrs was already on the way to our home to stay for 4 days. We get along great and they are lots of help but it made it difficult in one way. They wanted to swim daily as they don't have access to a pool at all. I understood but it was so difficult for 5 yr old son to not be able to swim while his cousins did for hours each day. Of course I played boardgames with him poolside, bocce, etc but it was difficult. We let him squirt them with a water gun and hit the beach ball back and forth with kids in the pool. Beach ball wasn't a good idea because ds jumped up to hit ball and fell into pool. The medicated pad can't be wet. They had to clean and lightly scrub the area again and reapply new. All in all I know how blessed I am that he wasn't hurt more and that we were able to treat him at home. My friend said they normally admit at that stage but the fact that she lived nearby and could come by and check on him daily helped. Thank God for her and my daughter's medic boyfriend that was here to tell us what to do immediately. Fast forward to this week and our truck ac went out. More savings. Then the next day the window is busted out of car. Ugh! Yes again I am blessed we had the savings. I am blessed Z wasn't hurt in car. I am blessed that burns were not so bad. BUT is it bad that I still feel so unblessed? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I am sorry you are having such a rough time. Hope things turn better soon! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 The police can never make someone pay. They are not the judge. They are responsible for making sure everyone was safe, and filing a report on what happened. Did you give your insurance the man's info? If they think he was at fault, they can choose to go after him. But they probably won't as it would cost them more to do so than what the repairs cost. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Old guys sounds like a bit of a jerk. But this does sound like a total accident that he could not have reasonably prevented. I'm not sure I agree with expecting someone to pay when they didn't actually do anything irresponsible. Unless he simply doesn't ever mow. He probably doesn't have $300 either. He could have been nicer about it. But sometimes accidents just happen. I had a windshield crack when a truck in front of me threw a rock on the freeway. Should I have followed him and demanded money? No, we were both just driving along, minding our own business. It just happened. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 In your case, I would have certainly made sure everyone was ok but I wouldn't admit it was my fault. I would have no idea if it was my fault or if you had a crack in your window already and something caused it to shatter. There are just too many dishonest people in the world. I would have let the insurance companies figure out whose fault it was. Now in a car accident, for example, where I was actively involved in the accident I would certainly admit fault and have. But I still wouldn't discuss that with the other people in the accident. You let the insurance companies handle it, that is their job. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahlanne Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 I am sorry this happened - but it was an accident. Accidents happen. It may have been caused by the mowing, but that does not make it the man's "fault". What is he supposed to do, stop mowing whenever cars drive on the road? We had a stone hit the windshield when driving, because the car in front of us threw up a rock. It will need to be replaced - but it does not make it the other driver's fault. We are not happy that we have to pay, but we chose the high deductible car insurance. I am glad your child was not hurt. I agree that it would have been nice if the guy had been more considerate and stopped to help. But I can also see how in this litiguous society this might be construed as an admission of guilt. The first piece of legal advice for any kind of accident is never to admit fault; that might potentially jeopardize the person's insurance coverage. Thanks for your input. I can understand your point. I guess I was brought up to believe if something damaging happened to another because of something you did, accidental or not, then you own up to it and make amends in some way. Guess not everyone shares this belief. I believe this is sad but all I can do is teach my kids the values I hold. I still think I wouldn't have been near as offended if he would have had the common decency to act concerned for another human being even if it was no fault of his own. If you can't do this for fear of being sued than I don't know what to say. Even though I disagree with you, I appreciate your giving me your opinion. It does give me an unbiased view even if it sides with dh. LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I totally understnad your irritation. Moving guy sounds like a jerk. Call your insurance company, tell them what happened. They may want to make a claim with the guys homeowner's policy. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Your car insurance may cover the widow cost completely. Ours does without a deductible. He should've asked if everyone was okay. That seems like basic decency. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahlanne Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 The police can never make someone pay. They are not the judge. They are responsible for making sure everyone was safe, and filing a report on what happened. Did you give your insurance the man's info? If they think he was at fault, they can choose to go after him. But they probably won't as it would cost them more to do so than what the repairs cost Yes I gave the insurance his info and realize they won't do anything to the man because it will be cost productive. I also understand the police can't make them pay. I just expected them to point out what it looked like to the man. The police never even asked him anything about it after I told him the guy denied causing it. The only question he asked the guy is if he had his drivers license, which he didn't, told him it wasn't necessary and asked his name and address. That was it. I am not saying the police should enforce anything in this situation but I don't know maybe asking the man a question or two could have helped. Probably not. I am not really angry at the police. They have a tough job and this isn't really their thing. I just...I don't know...expected slightly more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahlanne Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 Thank you everyone. I see that most agree that the decent thing to do was check on us and stop mowing but that most agreed it wan't his fault per se. Oh well dh doesn't have to know he was on the winning side of this does he? :huh: I will still live by my code and teach my kids the same and hope that I have no more instances such as this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chicagoshannon Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 The man did come over and ask if something was wrong. You immediately started blaming him. I'd get defensive too. It would never occur to me to blame someone. I would have just said that the back window shattered. I hope things get better for you 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I am sorry this happened - but it was an accident. Accidents happen. It may have been caused by the mowing, but that does not make it the man's "fault". What is he supposed to do, stop mowing whenever cars drive on the road? If the man, by the act of mowing, created a projectile that broke the OPs car window, then it is his fault. It was an accident, but it is still his fault. However, the OP cannot prove that it is in fact his fault, so unless he confesses there is not way to make him pay. I think the OP can think the man is not a good neighbor, ect., but there's nothing she can do. I had a similar experience several years ago, but the person at fault identified himself. I was driving by a golf course and a golf ball became embedded in my windshield. I turned around, went into the clubhouse and told staff that the ball came from the 17th hole (it's in my town, so I knew). They immediately said they were not responsible for the damage, but someone went out the 18th hole (the foursome had continued to play) and found the guy. He paid cash for the windshield replacement for me. If he had said he didn't do it, I would have been SOL, unless I wanted to spend time having the members of the foursome questioned and matching the ball, ect. I would not go through my insurance to replace a window. That's usually about a $200 claim. It's not worth it when there's a possibility that the ins co would raise my rates later based on making a claim. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It's impossible to know for sure that the guy caused it. It stinks, but nothing seriously bad happened. Most insurance companies have the option of having glass not be part of the deductible. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I totally understnad your irritation. Moving guy sounds like a jerk. Call your insurance company, tell them what happened. They may want to make a claim with the guys homeowner's policy. They can try, but the case will probably go to a third party arbitrator and since there is hardly any mention of the guy in the police report they probably will not hold him accountable. Heck, we had to go to third party arbitration because a woman who hit my husband's car denied she did anything wrong. She came from a parked position out into traffic and felt she had the right away because she signaled. The police gave her a warning and she was blamed in the report. So heck they even let it go to arbitration even though clearly it was her fault. They did side with us, but it took about a year and a half to get our deductible back. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 (Hugs) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Not admitting fault in a situation such as this doesn't necessarily make one a bad person who doesn't take responsibility. I'm not sure that there can be 100% certainty in this situation. If I was mowing and someone drove by, then came back and said "you kicked up a rock that broke my window" I would cooperate with them but I would not accept responsibility. Unless I saw the rock flying, how could I know for sure? I'm sorry you're having such a bad time right now. It's so hard when it seems like one bad thing happening after another. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It wasn't nice that he didn't ask how your child was. On the other hand you did get out of your vehicle and start accusing him of breaking your window, and so he immediately probably felt defensive. I would say, there may have been a flaw or small crack in your window already. It seems pretty unlikely to me that something thrown by a lawn mower would cause a window to shatter like that (which also makes me think, maybe it wasn't the lawn mower). We were on a road trip in Denver once. We were behind a work pick-up truck that hit a bump. A loose wrench that was the size of my forearm flew off the truck and into our front windshield. We had to pull over immediately and actually retrieved the wrench. It did not cause the window to shatter glass into the car, but did of course break the windshield. This was a case of CLEAR fault (loose things should not be in the back of a pick up) and we couldn't get the license. We had to book a hotel a night and have an emergency window replacement on our own dime. I think the police just knows that a case like that is going no where. There's no way to prove liability in a case like that. And it really does seem more like a no fault situation to me. Accidents happen and when you get in a car, you are accepting some liability just by that action. I'm very sorry you're having a rough time and it's hard on you financially. I'm so glad your son is ok! :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 The guy wasn't very nice, was he? If he had been more nice you might not be quite so mad at his denial. If I'm mowing my lawn and a rock breaks someone's window, even though it's an accident, it's my 'fault'. We would teach our kids to fess up to that, even though there's no real proof. The decent thing to have done was to at least share the blame/cost. A windshield often gets replaced with no deductible but I don't know if that also applies to a rear window. The officer could also have been more helpful. It's ok to tell you he can't determine fault, but he didn't have to be grumpy about being called. You needed a report for your insurance, and that was why you called him. I'm sorry that happened to you! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahlanne Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 It wasn't nice that he didn't ask how your child was. On the other hand you did get out of your vehicle and start accusing him of breaking your window, and so he immediately probably felt defensive. I would say, there may have been a flaw or small crack in your window already. It seems pretty unlikely to me that something thrown by a lawn mower would cause a window to shatter like that (which also makes me think, maybe it wasn't the lawn mower). We were on a road trip in Denver once. We were behind a work pick-up truck that hit a bump. A loose wrench that was the size of my forearm flew off the truck and into our front windshield. We had to pull over immediately and actually retrieved the wrench. It did not cause the window to shatter glass into the car, but did of course break the windshield. This was a case of CLEAR fault (loose things should not be in the back of a pick up) and we couldn't get the license. We had to book a hotel a night and have an emergency window replacement on our own dime. I think the police just knows that a case like that is going no where. There's no way to prove liability in a case like that. And it really does seem more like a no fault situation to me. Accidents happen and when you get in a car, you are accepting some liability just by that action. I'm very sorry you're having a rough time and it's hard on you financially. I'm so glad your son is ok! :grouphug: There was no nick in the window, etc. It can and does happen according to the company that replaced it. Oh well. We had something similar happen not long after dh and I married. We met a dump truck while driving and the chain he had on the back of truck popped loose or either was never hooked and flung around hitting our windshield. Glass flew everwhere. We nearly wrecked. We didn't know who drove the dumptruck as it kept going unaware I am sure. It happened so fast and other than a couple of knicks where the glass scratched us, we were fine. As for my immediately accusing the man. I was polite and it was evident that he was the only other action on the roadside besides me so I don't know what else to say. I wasn't angry at him at the time because I understand accidents happen. It wasn't until later that I was angry after his actions. I even told him I completely understood his reasoning and could sympathize but it had to be his mower. I told him I tell my son to mow in a similar pattern for the very same reasons. As I said at the beginning I wasn't angry just upset. I was even extremely nice to police apologizing that he had to come out for this for insurance purposes. Oh well.... Enough dwelling on negative. I was told by nurse today that they want to remove son's bandage this afternoon and see if it is healed enough to not have to continue treatment. I am praying it is. This would mean he can swim soon and bathe!!!! LOL. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Definitely teach your children to be decent human beings. But also advice then never to admit fault, for insurance proposes. And no, dh doesn't need to know. (LOL) See, I don't necessarily agree to never ever admit fault. My brother was rear ended by someone when he was stopped at a stop light. The guy was apologetic and admitted fault right away. It was the right thing to do. My sister hit someone in a parking lot. She admitted it was her fault. These were obviously accidents, but they took responsibility because they hadn't been as careful as they should have been. They weren't paying attention and they hit someone. That's seems like a different situation. So, yeah, I don't agree to just always deny. I've been hit by someone who ran a red light and simply denied it. It wasn't fun. My car was totaled and the insurance companies fought it out and eventually sided with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 total aside but apparently in the US if you say "sorry" that can be an admission of guilt....In Canada we have exemptions because we say "sorry" all the time for things that are not our fault. So there's a thing for eg. called The Ontario Apology Act"An apology made by or on behalf of a person in connection with any matter, does not, in law, constitute an express or implied admission of fault or liability by the person in connection with that matter; does not, despite any wording to the contrary in any contract of insurance or indemnity and despite any other Act or law, void, impair or otherwise affect any insurance or indemnity coverage for any person in connection with that matter; and shall not be taken into account in any determination of fault or liability in connection with that matter" sorry for derailing the thread! sorry this happened to you! sorry that old man was a jerk! sorry the cop was useless! sorry your husband doesn't agree with you! 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 See I have a rather Canadian understanding of the word sorry. :) 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWillSoar Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I understand you being upset and wanting to vent. It sounds like a stressful situation to be in with the window all of the sudden popping, then not knowing what it was and thinking your son could be hurt. Then having all that glass falling onto someone's property and having to have the police come out. Ugggh! I think I would have been frazzled! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 That must have been a scary experience. I can see that you're still a bit shook up.I always keep in mind that older folks might be at the beginning of Altzheimers or other age-related mental deterioration, and give them grace when they do not say or do the socially right thing. It helps me to not take their behavior personally, and to not stew over it. We never know what others may be dealing with. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isaac_megan Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I've had a window shatter and my insurance covered it with a deductible specific to glass breakage. $50 deductible rather than the $500 otherwise. Also, lawn mowers definitely do break car windows- DH busted his mom's while mowing our front yard. Nice full St. Augustine grass yard with nary a pebble im sight. Out of sight, though, there apparently was one. Her insurance covered that one, too. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahlanne Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 total aside but apparently in the US if you say "sorry" that can be an admission of guilt.... In Canada we have exemptions because we say "sorry" all the time for things that are not our fault. So there's a thing for eg. called The Ontario Apology Act "An apology made by or on behalf of a person in connection with any matter, does not, in law, constitute an express or implied admission of fault or liability by the person in connection with that matter; does not, despite any wording to the contrary in any contract of insurance or indemnity and despite any other Act or law, void, impair or otherwise affect any insurance or indemnity coverage for any person in connection with that matter; and shall not be taken into account in any determination of fault or liability in connection with that matter" sorry for derailing the thread! sorry this happened to you! sorry that old man was a jerk! sorry the cop was useless! sorry your husband doesn't agree with you! My friend, the burn nurse, is actually Canadian by birth and we joke about her saying sorry all the time. Her daughters played high school soccer and you could even hear them apologizing if they knocked someone down going for the ball. LOL. Wish America was more like that. Then again the nurses/doctors laughed at me while I was in labor with my 6 kids, separate births of course not trolling saying I had that many at once. I am constantly apologizing when I moan or don't push enough, am tired, or it isn't going fast enough. For my first it was 32 hours of labor and lots of apologizing. With one that was transverse and had to be turned I was complaining to dh that it felt like she was coming out my side when I contracted and asked him to secretly apply pressure there. He told the nurse and she got the doctor to check. Yep sideways. It was painful having her turned...more apologies. Yep I am quite nuts even if not a troll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I don't care what insurance would say. I would be morally obligated to admit that I was at fault and would pay for it even if my insurance didn't back me up or upped my rates because of it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahlanne Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 That must have been a scary experience. I can see that you're still a bit shook up. I always keep in mind that older folks might be at the beginning of Altzheimers or other age-related mental deterioration, and give them grace when they do not say or do the socially right thing. It helps me to not take their behavior personally, and to not stew over it. We never know what others may be dealing with. You know I want to thank you for that perspective. My grandfather passed a few months back after struggling with Altzheimers for years. I know he had early stages even while active and mowing his own grass so who knows. I am not wishing this on the man but you are right, you don't know what other's may be going through. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 total aside but apparently in the US if you say "sorry" that can be an admission of guilt.... <snip> LOL this cracked me up! But yes, saying "I'm sorry" can be interpreted as "I am guilty." I just did a quick google search on admission of guilt and I came across (among other things), this, about car accidents, excerpted from this article. “I’m sorry.†Your knee-jerk apology to the other driver may not be intended as an admission of fault so much as an expression of regret that the accident happened at all -- or as a way to convey relief that everyone involved in the accident came through without any serious injuries. “I didn’t even see you.†This may be a true statement. Maybe you really didn’t see the other car in the seconds before the accident. But there may be information you’re not aware of -- perhaps the other driver was speeding, or he or she made an illegal turn. Saying “I didn’t see you†doesn’t translate to your being legally liable for the accident. Making statements like these is just human nature after an accident. Unfortunately, admissions of fault -- whether or not you intended your statements as such -- can be used to establish your liability in any insurance claim or personal injury lawsuit stemming from the car accident. I was also always taught that in many cases, there may be shared fault, but if I am quick to take the blame, then... I'm to blame. Last weekend someone crashed into my perfectly-parked car in a lot. He was clearly and totally at fault. But... what if I had been partially at fault? What if I was parked outside the lines of the space, or not in a parking space at all? Things are not always as simple as they may seem. Of course this is not quite the same as the situation in the OP but more about people not saying "I'm sorry." I feel like I remember reading that doctors are also told not to say "I'm sorry" when there is a bad outcome with a patient, because it sets them up for malpractice suits. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 :grouphug: , OP. Glad you and your son are okay. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 While I agree it was an accident, and accidents happen, I would be so disappointed in my husband if he said, or even just inferred, that he would deliberately deny it if he caused damage to someone else's property. I would tell him as much. With that said, it really IS just your word against him, and I understand why the police said as much to you, and didn't tell the older gentleman anything that would infer they were taking your word over his. I am very glad that you and your little guy are okay. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I live in Alaska where cracks on the windshield are regarded as mere decoration. People joke that you can tell who are newbies because their windshields are intact. Tossed stones and cracked glass is just a 'thing' that happens. Just like you can't assign fault to the car that drives past you and kicks up a loose rock, you can't really assign blame to a guy on the lawn mower. Heck, a few years ago, we were driving down a road all by ourselves - no one else in sight. A rock flew up and hit the window. We watched the crack spread from a tiny nick to a trail across the entire window as we drove along. No one else around, the rock must have been kicked up by our own car. It happens sometimes. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It wouldn't occur to me to blame someone for a cracked window any more than for a flat tyre. Now if someone was deliberately propelling rocks at my car, or spreading tacks under my wheels, then that would be another thing. My insurance has a flat £75 charge for window replacement. You don't even call the insurer - they have a direct, country-wide contract with a specialist glass company that turns up wherever you are. That seems pretty standard here. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I had the same thing happen to me when gardener was mowing my lawn. The glass door in front of my wooden front door shattered into a million pieces. It was obviously from gardener mowing. It was an accident, it sucked and cost me a couple hundred to fix. The gardener never acknowledged the glass falling from my door, finished up and left. The there was the time the neighbors tree fell on my house. Right where my kids exited the house numerous times a day. He never asked if my kids were okay, he started a fight with me instead, jerk. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It wouldn't occur to me to blame someone for a cracked window any more than for a flat tyre. Now if someone was deliberately propelling rocks at my car, or spreading tacks under my wheels, then that would be another thing. My insurance has a flat £75 charge for window replacement. You don't even call the insurer - they have a direct, country-wide contract with a specialist glass company that turns up wherever you are. That seems pretty standard here. That's how our insurance works, too. The windshield guy comes to work, home, the zoo, wherever my car needs to be that day. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 As far as car windows themselves go, we have the same kind of replacement service. We had a window shatter one day for no apparent reason just sitting in our driveway. We had it replaced that day by a company that sends a van out to wherever you are. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I'm not really sure what you're so upset about. Were you expecting him to fork over several hundred dollars right there because the rock *might* have come from his mower? Like others have said, sometimes rocks seemingly come out of nowhere. It could have been your own vehicle that kicked it up. A kid in one of the other six houses could have shot your vehicle with a pellet gun. Shit happens. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Seeing how I have had good sized projectiles fall from the sky and hit my windshield with absolutely no one near me, I would say you shouldn't be so certain the lawn mower threw the rock. Seriously, I've been hit multiple times from random @#@! fallilng from the sky. It is really strange and scary when it happens, but it does happen. No overpasses above. No cars within sight. No one on the side of the road. Either it is falling from an airplane, outerspace, or a bird is dropping rocks, but it happens to me way too often. Makes a huge sound and leaves a nice chip in the glass. Maybe I have a ufo hovering frequently? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Maybe you are a flying debris magnet? I have years that I think I am a flying debris magnet. Seeing how I have had good sized projectiles fall from the sky and hit my windshield with absolutely no one near me, I would say you shouldn't be so certain the lawn mower threw the rock. Seriously, I've been hit multiple times from random @#@! fallilng from the sky. It is really strange and scary when it happens, but it does happen. No overpasses above. No cars within sight. No one on the side of the road. Either it is falling from an airplane, outerspace, or a bird is dropping rocks, but it happens to me way too often. Makes a huge sound and leaves a nice chip in the glass. Maybe I have a ufo hovering frequently? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3 ladybugs Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 You said you were in a school zone, was it the time that school got out or was about to start? The reason I ask is because it is reasonable to assume that rocks might be hit when mowing the lawn. If he was mowing at a time when it is expected that there will be cars in front of his house, it could also be assumed that he could be endangering the said cars. That is a horse of a different color. However if it wasn't that time of day, then I think all the pp are correct. Sorry you have had a bad string of luck. Hope it gets better soon! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 You said you were in a school zone, was it the time that school got out or was about to start? The reason I ask is because it is reasonable to assume that rocks might be hit when mowing the lawn. If he was mowing at a time when it is expected that there will be cars in front of his house, it could also be assumed that he could be endangering the said cars. That is a horse of a different color. However if it wasn't that time of day, then I think all the pp are correct. Sorry you have had a bad string of luck. Hope it gets better soon! How can a person predict when a car might come by his house? I live on a pretty quiet suburban street. But at any time of day there could be cars going by. Or someone could park right in front of my house - one of my neighbors has a lot of company. I've driven past homes when people are mowing. They don't stop while I drive by to ensure that a rock doesn't get kicked up and hit my car. Hey, people don't even stop mowing when I walk by! How on earth can the time of day have anything to do with it? 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahlanne Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 I'm not really sure what you're so upset about. Were you expecting him to fork over several hundred dollars right there because the rock *might* have come from his mower? Like others have said, sometimes rocks seemingly come out of nowhere. It could have been your own vehicle that kicked it up. A kid in one of the other six houses could have shot your vehicle with a pellet gun. Shit happens. This was during the time that school let out. It is right behind his home. I don't think he should have stopped mowing when I passed nor do I think it being in a school zone makes it worse. I just know I was driving slowly because of it. The homes in this area are way off the road so the kid would have been visible if near enough for the pellet to reach. As for why I am so upset, I was out money that we don't have when I didn't cause the accident in any way. The road is paved without lose gravel in this area which even he pointed out when stating he has no rocks in his yard. Regardless I don't think it is unusual to expect him to be more curteous to another human being than he was. His grandson didn't have a problem showing decency. I apologized to grandson right before I left because I would lose more glass that he would have to clean up and he was quick to say no worries m'am. I will get it. Sorry it happened. I understand accidents happen and sometimes no matter what you do they just occur. I do disagree that just because it was an accident that it isn't your fault. My daughter poured boiling tea down my son's shoulder accidentally even though she is very careful. Still her fault. Was she punished? No, of course not but she immediately felt remorse and said so. She did everything she could to make her brother feel better even though it was an accident that honestly she couldn't have foreseen nor stop from happening. Should she never make tea again? Only make tea when nobody is home? No. Just as he should mow his lawn and try to limit the chances of causing others damage which I believe he did with the pattern he was cutting. Still it happened and if he had been sympathetic or had the basic human decency to check on the offended party, as my daughter did with my son, it would have went a long way toward no ill feelings. I didn't expect him to pull out money then and there. I don't know what I expected at that exact moment. At best I figured he would do what I would or what I watched my mom do when it happened at my home as a child which was to speak kindly to the offended party even if they are upset, see if they need assistance somehow, and suggest they call their insurance to see what needs to happen while I wait without mowing. My mom even called her homeowners policy to see if it was covered, which it was, and she filed it on hers. I understand most of you don't agree with this action and while I may disagree, that is fine. I understand. Yet I do not think it is unrealistic for me to believe he should have acted nicer, just as his grandson did, unless there really was something wrong with him as suggested above in which case he might should reconsider mowing but that is a different topic. Btw, when a car accident happened in front of my home, I immediately went out and spoke to the driver who insisted she get out of the car. It was a bad accident and I told her repeatedly it was best she stay put. I called 911 for her even though she didn't want to because she was texting. She wanted to call her friends to pick her up instead. I went and got a towel to help her wrap the cut on her arm and another to apply pressure to cut on forehead. I gave her a wet rag to wash her face. I even pulled my truck thru my yard to park close to accident without being on road so she could sit in air conditioning until ambulance arrived. I also offered her a glass of water. The accident had nothing to do with me. When her mom arrived, she was 20's, I told her to pull in my drive to park and be off the road so no more accidents occurred. She was so shaken that she asked if I could move her car for her. Apparently she was calm until she actually saw her daughter and car and went to pieces. I did just that. Yes there was liability issues with all I did but I would do it again. I would hope that someone would do the same for my daughter. The ambulance arrived and took her to the hospital and police took my statement. That was the last I heard from all involved. The photos of the accident did make the local paper and my daughter's friend knew of the family and said car was totaled and she spent night in hospital but was fine. My point on both stories is not that they are exactly alike just that I know how I would have acted and wish he would have been nicer which would have made it easier to swallow coughing up $300. For those wondering what more could he do...ask after ds/us, stop mowing for more than a second to deny...I don't know maybe offer a trashbag and tape so that while I drove home the window wouldn't be blowing glass everywhere. Even if he didn't have tape and trashbag, saying man I wish I had something for you to tape this up would have helped. LOL. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahlanne Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 On a separate note....My son's bandages are off and he looks fabulous. The doctor said it healed better than expected. It was crackly and itchy but I bathed him and lathered it with coco butter. Now it looks so much better. I am amazed. Nice pink skin. They don't expect much scaring either. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 This was during the time that school let out. It is right behind his home. I don't think he should have stopped mowing when I passed nor do I think it being in a school zone makes it worse. I just know I was driving slowly because of it. The homes in this area are way off the road so the kid would have been visible if near enough for the pellet to reach. As for why I am so upset, I was out money that we don't have when I didn't cause the accident in any way. The road is paved without lose gravel in this area which even he pointed out when stating he has no rocks in his yard. Regardless I don't think it is unusual to expect him to be more curteous to another human being than he was. His grandson didn't have a problem showing decency. I apologized to grandson right before I left because I would lose more glass that he would have to clean up and he was quick to say no worries m'am. I will get it. Sorry it happened. I understand accidents happen and sometimes no matter what you do they just occur. I do disagree that just because it was an accident that it isn't your fault. My daughter poured boiling tea down my son's shoulder accidentally even though she is very careful. Still her fault. Was she punished? No, of course not but she immediately felt remorse and said so. She did everything she could to make her brother feel better even though it was an accident that honestly she couldn't have foreseen nor stop from happening. Should she never make tea again? Only make tea when nobody is home? No. Just as he should mow his lawn and try to limit the chances of causing others damage which I believe he did with the pattern he was cutting. Still it happened and if he had been sympathetic or had the basic human decency to check on the offended party, as my daughter did with my son, it would have went a long way toward no ill feelings. I didn't expect him to pull out money then and there. I don't know what I expected at that exact moment. At best I figured he would do what I would or what I watched my mom do when it happened at my home as a child which was to speak kindly to the offended party even if they are upset, see if they need assistance somehow, and suggest they call their insurance to see what needs to happen while I wait without mowing. My mom even called her homeowners policy to see if it was covered, which it was, and she filed it on hers. I understand most of you don't agree with this action and while I may disagree, that is fine. I understand. Yet I do not think it is unrealistic for me to believe he should have acted nicer, just as his grandson did, unless there really was something wrong with him as suggested above in which case he might should reconsider mowing but that is a different topic. Btw, when a car accident happened in front of my home, I immediately went out and spoke to the driver who insisted she get out of the car. It was a bad accident and I told her repeatedly it was best she stay put. I called 911 for her even though she didn't want to because she was texting. She wanted to call her friends to pick her up instead. I went and got a towel to help her wrap the cut on her arm and another to apply pressure to cut on forehead. I gave her a wet rag to wash her face. I even pulled my truck thru my yard to park close to accident without being on road so she could sit in air conditioning until ambulance arrived. I also offered her a glass of water. The accident had nothing to do with me. When her mom arrived, she was 20's, I told her to pull in my drive to park and be off the road so no more accidents occurred. She was so shaken that she asked if I could move her car for her. Apparently she was calm until she actually saw her daughter and car and went to pieces. I did just that. Yes there was liability issues with all I did but I would do it again. I would hope that someone would do the same for my daughter. The ambulance arrived and took her to the hospital and police took my statement. That was the last I heard from all involved. The photos of the accident did make the local paper and my daughter's friend knew of the family and said car was totaled and she spent night in hospital but was fine. My point on both stories is not that they are exactly alike just that I know how I would have acted and wish he would have been nicer which would have made it easier to swallow coughing up $300. For those wondering what more could he do...ask after ds/us, stop mowing for more than a second to deny...I don't know maybe offer a trashbag and tape so that while I drove home the window wouldn't be blowing glass everywhere. Even if he didn't have tape and trashbag, saying man I wish I had something for you to tape this up would have helped. LOL. Honestly, my reaction (had I been the mowing man) would have totally been dependent upon the reaction of the person driving the vehicle. If I felt the driver was accusing me of doing damage to their vehicle that I did not feel I did, I would probably have been quite standoffish. I wouldn't have apologized because I would assume that the driver would try to use that as an admission of guilt on my part. Having overheard, or been able to ascertain visually that the child was okay, I probably would not ask. If the driver got out and said that something had hit her windshield but made no accusations of responsibility, I would be more friendly. However, at first question of throwing accountability, I would have probably clammed up and turned away from the situation. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I was in a car accident where the other person apologized immediately afterward. Two years later my insurance company took her to court (she didn't have insurance) and her admission was part of the evidence of her guilt. She ended up paying. So, yes, in the rock situation, I wouldn't have admitted guilt or apologized either because I've been conditioned not to do so. I would have made sure everyone was all right, however. I wouldn't have had the nerve to stop initially though and considered it an accident. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I am very sorry to hear what happened, Kahlanne. I would have been very upset, too, especially because your son was in the car and could have been very seriously injured. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I would not have stopped at his house. I definitely would not have accused him of it. I would consider it an accident and a risk I take driving a vehicle. It's just something that happens. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 If the man, by the act of mowing, created a projectile that broke the OPs car window, then it is his fault. It was an accident, but it is still his fault. However, the OP cannot prove that it is in fact his fault, so unless he confesses there is not way to make him pay. I think the OP can think the man is not a good neighbor, ect., but there's nothing she can do. . :iagree: This is my thinking too. Old guy is at fault but proving it is nearly impossible. He should have been kinder, but many people care very little for others enough to put themselves in jeopardy of being sued. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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