Smoking

[nevergiveup]

Growing up, it seemed all the grown-ups I knew smoked.

Now, I don't see many in my age category (50s) smoking.

I asked a college girl I know about the younger generation and she said a lot of kids her age smoke (cigarettes).

My son is dating a very nice young woman who smokes.

 

Is smoking on the rise again?  Frankly, I'm a bit bummed learning that this woman smokes.  My mom smoked and I have a knee-jerk negative reaction to it.  

Would you advise your kids not to date a smoker?

[Guest]

According to this article, young adult smoking is on the rise. http://www.salon.com/2013/11/09/teens_have_started_smoking_again_because_they_think_its_cool_partner/

 

I have witnessed this also. I would not be pleased about the smoking gf, but I also don't think my teens would want a smoking SO.

[The Girls' Mom]

I wouldn't advise my kids not to date someone for that reason.  My husband was a smoker for 20 years, and smoked when we met (at 15 and 18).  He quit and has been smoke free for over 7 years.  

I do hate that it is coming back into fashion though.  It is a smelly, unhealthy habit, IMO.

[Laura Corin]

 

Would you advise your kids not to date a smoker?

 

Ummmm.... what business is it of mine?  The date might be shortening his/her life, but I wouldn't advise against dating a motorbike rider or someone with a terrible diet either.

 

Smoking at home/second-hand smoke is a different issue, but still one to be worked out between the two people concerned

[Chris in VA]

We have very negative experiences with smoking, including deaths from COPD (he continued to smoke as he was dying) and lung cancer, in our family. We also have a family member with Cystic Fibrosis (had a lung transplant). So lungs are important to us, iykwim.

Be that as it may, it did not deter some of us from smoking.

 

Two have quit, however, and are good examples of both the fortitude it takes to quit and the difficulties one might have in quitting.

 

If my adult kids wanted to date a smoker, I wouldn't interfer OF COURSE, but I'd be surprised. I don't think any of them would live with a smoker.

 

If my dd was interested in a young man (minor) who smoked, I would say no, since it's illegal.

 

But smoking doesn't make you a bad person, a statement which should be obvious.

 

 

[nevergiveup]

Ummmm.... what business is it of mine?  The date might be shortening his/her life, but I wouldn't advise against dating a motorbike rider or someone with a terrible diet either.

 

Smoking at home/second-hand smoke is a different issue, but still one to be worked out between the two people concerned

Thanks, Laura.  That is sorta what I thought, too--what business do I have saying anything.  But, our son expressed concern about it himself so we talked about it.  I said that he probably has habits she will not like, either.  

[plansrme]

Absolutely I would advise my kids not to date a smoker. Most long-term relationships start off with a date, and if you identify a characteristic that would significantly and adversely affect their life together, it would be wise to nip it in the bud, so to speak. I would advise against dating a gambling addict or a porn addict or someone whose religious views were completely the opposite of my child's. This is what parents do: help their kids, even young adult kids, see the potential long-term consequences of their actions.

[nevergiveup]

We have very negative experiences with smoking, including deaths from COPD (he continued to smoke as he was dying) and lung cancer, in our family. We also have a family member with Cystic Fibrosis (had a lung transplant). So lungs are important to us, iykwim.

Be that as it may, it did not deter some of us from smoking.

 

Two have quit, however, and are good examples of both the fortitude it takes to quit and the difficulties one might have in quitting.

 

If my adult kids wanted to date a smoker, I wouldn't interfer OF COURSE, but I'd be surprised. I don't think any of them would live with a smoker.

 

If my dd was interested in a young man (minor) who smoked, I would say no, since it's illegal.

 

But smoking doesn't make you a bad person, a statement which should be obvious.

Same here--I've known lots of people with very bad consequences from smoking.  Perhaps that is why I have such a knee-jerk negative reaction to it.

I guess I am just surprised that it is making a comeback.  Our youth seem more intelligent than we in a lot of respects.  Heaven knows, I am not Mrs. Perfect!

And, I totally agree with the bolded part above.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'm very strongly anti smoking and so is my husband so I think my kids would be too afraid to even tell me about dating a smoker.

 

I would not really see it as my business, but I would not allow smoking in my home. 

 

My mother died at 49.  She had cancer, but she also had COPD and that is ultimately what was ruled as the cause of her death.  She smoked heavily for many years and that meant essentially that I smoked along with her.  My grandfather lived longer, but he died from a smoking related disease too. It's just a disgusting horrible thing and I wish it did not exist. 

 

 

[Laura Corin]

 I would advise against dating a gambling addict or a porn addict or someone whose religious views were completely the opposite of my child's. 

 

Interesting equivalences there.  

 

I'm not a smoker and don't like being around smoke.  My parents were good parents, however, despite being smokers.  They brought up three non-smoking children, and themselves finally managed to quit.

[DawnM]

I knew almost no smokers growing up, and I know almost no smokers now.  They just aren't in our circle of friends.  If one of my kids were to date a smoker, I would not be very happy (2 of us have asthma), but there wouldn't be too much I could do.  I wouldn't dislike her for that, but I would not allow smoking in my house......which I think is perfectly reasonable.

[nevergiveup]

Absolutely I would advise my kids not to date a smoker. Most long-term relationships start off with a date, and if you identify a characteristic that would significantly and adversely affect their life together, it would be wise to nip it in the bud, so to speak. I would advise against dating a gambling addict or a porn addict or someone whose religious views were completely the opposite of my child's. This is what parents do: help their kids, even young adult kids, see the potential long-term consequences of their actions.

This is what I talked about with him:  whether or not it is a deal breaker for him.  They have so much in common other than this, though, which is why it is more difficult in my opinion.

[marbel]

Now that I'm driving my daughter to and from community college a couple times a week, I see a lot of college-age smokers.  Honestly, it surprises me.  I didn't know smoking was getting more popular.

 

Over the course of their young lives, my kids have been exposed to teaching about good and bad habits.  (I imagine most have!)  We are not perfect in our pursuit of health but I would be very surprised if either of them dated/married a smoker.  

 

ETA:  my mother was a long-time smoker.  She quit at least 20 years before she died, but smoking was still cited as a cause of death. 

 

My brother was a heavy smoker for years. His skin was permeated with the smell, so much so that my husband's allergies would start to get to him when they were together.   Made family get-togethers a little difficult.

[lllll]

..

[happypamama]

It would surprise me as well if any of my children chose to date or marry a smoker. Neither DH nor I have ever smoked cigarettes because we think it's a dirty, stinky habit. I'm highly sensitive to cigarette smoke; it makes my throat hurt and swell up, so I absolutely wouldn't allow it in my house ever. I definitely would say something if my children were dating smokers, although of course, it's their decision. I'd be very dismayed if my DILs smoked because of potential effects on a fetus, so I'd definitely discuss this with my boys. Of course, they have all promised me they will never smoke cigarettes. ;)

[J'swife]

I grew up around smokers, my mom smoked until about 15 years ago.  Unfortunately, I don't think there's ever been a decline of it, we live near three smoking houses (back yard neighbor, side neighbor and across the street neighbor)  My side neighbor, whom I'm also friends with, has lupus as well, I wish so much that she could/would quit.  Her daughter who is 13 just moved back with her and I know hates that her mom smokes.  I would totally advise my kids against it, but I think they would never date someone that smokes, they see the stink that it causes just outside.  It's so obvious when someone is outside smoking.  My friend doesn't smoke inside her house, but smokes in her garage.  YUCK!

[bettyandbob]

At one of my places of employment we have youth who are in alternative educational placements. Smoking has always been prevalent in this population. 

 

My other place of employment is a rec center. I see a lot of early to mid 20 somethings who have athletic pursuits and smoke. I just do get that at all. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I don't know how anyone around here can afford to smoke.  It's nearly $10 a pack. 

[Laura Corin]

I don't know how anyone around here can afford to smoke.  It's nearly $10 a pack. 

 

I'm amazed that people here can afford it too.  They are about £8 (US$12-ish) for 20.

 

L

[SparklyUnicorn]

I actually don't see many people smoking because it's allowed almost nowhere.  I love that.

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'm amazed that people here can afford it too.  They are about £8 (US$12-ish) for 20.

 

L

 

It's about that in NYC.  $12-$14 per pack.

 

At the worst of my mother's smoking craziness she was smoking three packs a day.  At that point they were 75 cents a pack. 

[flyingiguana]

Well, my daughter just came home and announced that she's taken one young man off her potential list.  Because she saw him smoking.

 

So I don't think my advice is needed in that case.

 

But she has asthma so probably understands the consequences to her own health.

 

I have advised my kids never to trust that a smoker is going to quit just because they say they will for the sake of a relationship.  BTDT myself.  Love may be strong, but a nicotine addiction can be stronger.  The person may want to quit, but not be able to.  You have to make your own decision about whether you can live with that the rest of your life if they can't quit.

 

 

[flyingiguana]

There are a lot more kids smoking now.  When I was in college, there were a couple kids who smoked, but everyone thought they were a little odd.

 

Now it seems there's a lot more social smoking.  And kids who don't think they're going to get hooked if they just do it now and then.

[MEmama]

My son is very, very sensitive to cigarette smoke. We used to live in a place where heavy smoking (and excessive drinking) was very common, and it totally grossed him out. We moved there when he was 5 so of course he had lots of questions about it (he hadn't really been around it much before, even though we had previously lived in a much bigger city). He took to crossing the street in order to avoid smokers, or if that wasn't possible he'd hold his breath and walk VERY fast past them. He still does this, but I think he's added in glaring at them too. There's no way I'll have to worry about him becoming a smoker or dating one. :)

 

Eta we almost never see people smoking where we live now. We might live in a health conscious little bubble, though.

[lllll]

..

[Starr]

Do you think it's increasing since kids aren't seeing people with the horrible lung diseases and don't live in smokey homes? It's odd somehow since they are the generation from birth that's been taught smoking is statistically harmful.

[SparklyUnicorn]

We routinely have to walk through clouds of cigarette smoke to get into our local stores - grocery, Wal Mart, all of them.  Someone had the bright idea to put the buckets of sand (or whatever they use) right near the doors of all these stores, so the last thing some smokers do before entering the store is toss the cigs into the buckets or throw them on the ground if there are no buckets.  Or they stand there to finish off the cig before tossing it and entering the store. 

 

That's not allowed here.  Not saying it never ever happens, but it's rare.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have advised my kids not to date a smoker.  Both have allergies.  One has asthma.  I've advised them to look for people who have healthy habits in general.  Does that mean that I would reject someone who came into their life who did not have all healthy habits?  No.  But I would look at the big picture that certain habits bring to a relationship and to a life and I would advise them to do the same.  I see firsthand how difficult it is to deal with ill health and how important healthy habits are to maintaining what health I can.  Acknowledging the damage that certain habits have esp. if they are addictive, seems reasonable to me.  This is not about character.  

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Do you think it's increasing since kids aren't seeing people with the horrible lung diseases and don't live in smokey homes? It's odd somehow since they are the generation from birth that's been taught smoking is statistically harmful.

 

I've wondered this myself. I really can't understand how it's growing in popularity again. Given all the anti-smoking education and the general anti-smoking attitudes (around here, at least) combined with the cost and the general disgustingness of the first smoking experiences (yes, I did try when I was young), I can't understand how anyone manages to get started!

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

That's not allowed here.  Not saying it never ever happens, but it's rare.

 

Another one of the reasons I'm happy to be living where we are. I grew up in a smoking house and was so glad to be out of it. Now I'm so far removed from it that when I smell smoke or old smoke on people/things, I gag and have a terrible taste in my mouth for awhile afterward. Someone once gave me packaged food from their smoking household and I could TASTE the old smoke in it :(

[SparklyUnicorn]

Another one of the reasons I'm happy to be living where we are. I grew up in a smoking house and was so glad to be out of it. Now I'm so far removed from it that when I smell smoke or old smoke on people/things, I gag and have a terrible taste in my mouth for awhile afterward. Someone once gave me packaged food from their smoking household and I could TASTE the old smoke in it :(

 

I gag too.  It's really weird.  I actually start feeling all panicky and like I'm not going to be able to breathe.  I usually hold my breath and get far away as possible.

 

And I grew up with a chain smoker. 

 

So..no way in hell anyone is allowed to smoke here.  I had some issues with a family member and I won't even go visit this person because I can't take the smoking. 

[Mergath]

I guess I haven't thought about it much because I don't know many teenagers, but all of the young people I see regularly or am acquainted with do smoke.  I don't understand it.  With all the information available now, as well as the prevalence of e-cigs (which probably aren't 100% safe but are light years ahead of actual cigarettes) there's no excuse for such stupidity.

 

I'm anti-smoking.  It may not be polite, but I don't really care.  My dh has asthma because his mom smoked when he was a kid, and he has COPD because he smoked up until we were married.  When you've seen someone you love sitting up at night coughing and unable to breathe, you end up with a lot less tolerance for smoking.  I do have sympathy for older people who became addicted before we had all this information, but teenagers now have no excuse.  And unlike overeating or nail-biting or other bad habits, smoking harms the people around you.

[Anne]

I hate smoking - but here's my experience: my dh began dating me when I smoked heavily, but never got on my case about it although he made it clear he didn't like it. Later in our relationship, he switched from glasses to contacts, and the smoke seemed to bother him more than previously. Eventually, my desire for his comfort and well-being combined with my desire to quit, enabled me to actually quit.

 

Anne

[AK_Mom4]

Who my adult kids date is their business.  The significant other would have to go outside and smoke if they visited - yes, even if it was below zero and storming.  i don't like cigarette smoke and won't have it in my home.

 

I will say that DH and I had a second date because he went cold-turkey on smoking after our first one.  I really dislike cigarette smoke.

 

[Loowit]

I can't picture any of my children wanting to date anyone who smokes.  Two of them have asthma which gets really bad around smokers, and they all very anti-smoking.  I know it could change as they get older, but somehow I doubt this is the area that they would choose to rebel.  I would discourage them from dating a smoker, but ultimately it is their choice.  I would not permit smoking on my property.  It gives DH and I headaches and makes my children's asthma really bad.

 

I have not seen a rise in teen smoking in my area, but we have a very high incidence of smoking here.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

This is not about character.  

 

I'm not totally sure if I agree with this. Smoking is something that is heavily touted as being extremely unhealthful for both you and those around you. It's well known to be highly addictive. It's dirty and smelly and makes your surroundings dirty and smelly. It's not exactly a great way to budget your money. It's a choice that one makes at some point in their lives to go and start doing, not something that accidentally happens to them. Doesn't that choice reflect on someone's character? Especially a young person, who grew up surrounded by the knowledge of all those aspects of the decision? 

 

ETA: I'm just kicking around thoughts and open to hearing discussion on this. I'm thinking more on it now because of this thread.

[mellifera33]

I'm not totally sure if I agree with this. Smoking is something that is heavily touted as being extremely unhealthful for both you and those around you. It's well known to be highly addictive. It's dirty and smelly and makes your surroundings dirty and smelly. It's not exactly a great way to budget your money. It's a choice that one makes at some point in their lives to go and start doing, not something that accidentally happens to them. Doesn't that choice reflect on someone's character? Especially a young person, who grew up surrounded by the knowledge of all those aspects of the decision? 

 

ETA: I'm just kicking around thoughts and open to hearing discussion on this. I'm thinking more on it now because of this thread.

 

Well, most young people do something foolish at least once. Smoking has the unfortunate property of being pretty quickly addictive, which to some extent takes away the choice component of the behavior. I'm not sure that I would want to judge a person's character for a youthful mistake that chemically changed the brain and thus lingers into adulthood. I know several adults who wouldn't have made the choice to smoke at 25, 40, or 60, but who started as teens and are terribly addicted. I don't view their smoking as a character problem, but as a physical addiction.

[JumpyTheFrog]

Ugh, my kids better never date a smoker. I start to get a headache just walking down the cleaning products aisle at the store. There's no way I could spend any time around a smoker.

[marbel]

Well, most young people do something foolish at least once. Smoking has the unfortunate property of being pretty quickly addictive, which to some extent takes away the choice component of the behavior. I'm not sure that I would want to judge a person's character for a youthful mistake that chemically changed the brain and thus lingers into adulthood. I know several adults who wouldn't have made the choice to smoke at 25, 40, or 60, but who started as teens and are terribly addicted. I don't view their smoking as a character problem, but as a physical addiction.

 

I agree with you here.  I do say I would not want my kids to marry smokers, and I hope they never smoke themselves. But, the few smokers I am personally acquainted with are fine people with great characters.    

 

Someone once told me they wouldn't hire a person whose fingernails looked bitten and uncared-for because that was a sign of sloppiness that would show up in their work.  Whoa.  I don't bite my nails but they break easily and my cuticles become overgrown quickly.  My nails never look nice.  I'd hate to think I'd be passed up for a job because of that.  I've heard of people getting poor reviews at work simply because their offices were messy - not because they didn't perform well at work.  I know this is not exactly related but it's similar - it's looking at one part of a person and judging everything about them based on that.  Of course messy offices and unkempt fingernails are not a health hazard to oneself or others.  Still. 

 

[Night Elf]

I started smoking at age 15 (1983) because the majority of my friends were doing it. I do remember it was horrible at first but I didn't want to seem like a baby so I just did it anyway. And became addicted. I'd hate to think someone judged my moral character because of something that I fell into due to peer pressure. Well, I guess I was stupid so maybe that is a moral failing. FWIW, I've been smoke-free for nearly 15 years. My oldest dd hangs out with people who smoke and even her boyfriend smokes but she doesn't. She says the smoke bothers her sometimes but it's never so bad she has to leave the premises. They all smoke outside only so she just stands away. My high school daughter knows kids who smoke. They hide their smokes in their backpacks and purses where parents don't look. I know this because I asked her once. I don't understand how someone can smoke and non-smokers around them not pick up on it. When I was a teen, I worried my mom would smell it but she smoked so she was immune to it. I can't remember when my mom stopped though. She told me she started off as a social smoker because her friends smoked. She really took off when she married my dad who was a smoker.

[Mommy22alyns]

I would be stunned if either girl ever dated a smoker.  ODD is an athlete and pretty serious about that.  Both think (and agree with DH and me) that it's a completely disgusting habit and hate even catching a whiff of it.  I'm glad it's been outlawed in restaurants here.  If I even get a bit of the smell, my nose starts to twitch.

 

When I was a kid, both grandmothers and one uncle smoked.  It eventually killed the grandmother on my mom's side, but my other grandma and uncle managed to quit completely.  I was very proud of that.

[SKL]

I thought I wouldn't date a smoker.  Until I did.  :P

 

My kids say the parents next door are both smokers.  I've never seen them smoking.

 

I think a lot of parents smoke privately or even secretly because it's taboo.  My brothers and dad were smokers who tried to hide this fact from their kids.  (Maybe they still are, I don't know.)  So I think there are still plenty of young people being brought up by smokers and likely to try it themselves - and considering how addictive it is, I'm not surprised there's a new generation of smokers.  Sadly.

[Guest]

I grew up with a smoker (not inside the house though), but have never tried one myself.  Second-hand is plenty disgusting for me, thanks.  And I've never done any research into how nicotine affects the body so I'm only relying on anecdotal information watching how others smoke.

 

I wonder if teens nowadays are smoking more because it's a stress-reliever.  I almost have nothing but pity for them - they are living in economic uncertainty, looking at mounds of debt because of college, hours of homework every night, classes where they are probably having a hard time keeping up, family problems, and so on.  Whether its the nicotine itself or the meditative act of breathing in and out, they choose smoking as therapy and de-stressing.  JMO and I could totally be wrong.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'm not totally sure if I agree with this. Smoking is something that is heavily touted as being extremely unhealthful for both you and those around you. It's well known to be highly addictive. It's dirty and smelly and makes your surroundings dirty and smelly. It's not exactly a great way to budget your money. It's a choice that one makes at some point in their lives to go and start doing, not something that accidentally happens to them. Doesn't that choice reflect on someone's character? Especially a young person, who grew up surrounded by the knowledge of all those aspects of the decision? 

 

ETA: I'm just kicking around thoughts and open to hearing discussion on this. I'm thinking more on it now because of this thread.

 

I mostly agree.  I say mostly because by now most people damn well know it's awful.  But growing up it was almost normal.  In fact my mother bought my sister cigarettes when she asked her to (and she was oh 13).  So you have a parent not only condoning it, but outright endorsing it you might not think anything of it.  I was right on the edge of changing attitudes towards it.  The year I started high school was the first year smoking was not allowed on school grounds.  Prior it was pretty normal for kids to go out and smoke during lunch time.  After that not even teachers were allowed to smoke. 

 

From time to time I still see parents blowing smoke at their baby walking them down the street in their stroller.  You grow up with that in your face all the time, again, you start to think it's normal and not a big deal. 

 

I probably can't stop my kids from smoking, but I am sure in hell not going to make it easy for them. 

[poppy]

I'm not totally sure if I agree with this. Smoking is something that is heavily touted as being extremely unhealthful for both you and those around you. It's well known to be highly addictive. It's dirty and smelly and makes your surroundings dirty and smelly. It's not exactly a great way to budget your money. It's a choice that one makes at some point in their lives to go and start doing, not something that accidentally happens to them. Doesn't that choice reflect on someone's character? Especially a young person, who grew up surrounded by the knowledge of all those aspects of the decision?

 

ETA: I'm just kicking around thoughts and open to hearing discussion on this. I'm thinking more on it now because of this thread.

How about someone who eats terribly and is obese? Does that person have a poor character as well? How about someone who drives way too fast often? How about an alcoholic?

 

I don't know , it's a vice , we all have them. Some vices are worse than others and smoking is awful. But I don't see any point in feeling superior to some one addicted to smoking.

 

I see very few smokers where I live , but a lot in my more rural, blue collar hometown. I've also seen a few people smoking ecigs indoors - which shocked me. I think ecigs are doing a lot to help smoking's resurgence.

[Chris in VA]

I wonder if the hooka craze, which markets to young people, is part of the reason for the increase in teen smoking (cigs)?

Also e-cigs--they are marketed to young people, too, and I can imagine the oral part of the habit and the nicotine part might be fostered by those.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

How about someone who eats terribly and is obese? Does that person have a poor character as well? How about someone who drives way too fast often? How about an alcoholic?

 

I was thinking about examples like this too. The way-too-fast driver? Yes, definitely a character thing if someone is regularly, knowingly driving too fast to be safe on the roads! That's a choice made on a regular basis, to put both one's self, one's family, and innocent strangers at risk. However, the obese person never made a choice to suddenly start eating at some point in their lives--it's likely their eating patterns were set in their childhood. People have to eat to survive, so poor eating habits, sugar addictions, etc. tend to evolve over time. And I feel the same about the alcoholic. Moderate wine consumption has been shown to have health benefits, and the great majority of people can drink moderately and never have a problem. No one sets out to become an alcoholic, knowing the negative health effects of occasional drinking on themselves and others. Unlike overeating and alcoholism, starting to smoke is a conscious choice, so it doesn't fall into the same category for me. 

 

That said, I do see the point about teens making a poor judgment call to start smoking and then getting hooked. I can think of a few things I did as a teen that horrify me now, but thankfully I'm able to just not tell people about them, so I can put them behind me and not have them potentially representing my character for all time against my will. 

 

It's very hard for me to be rational about smoking for some reason. I'm really liberal about most things, but I have this intense bias against smoking. I couldn't even tell you why. I'm sure it has to do with my mom smoking, but lots of people's moms smoked! I don't know what's behind it, really. DH started smoking awhile back after a tragedy occurred in his family. He needed some kind of crutch, and obviously drinking wasn't a great plan, so he smoked a few cigarettes as we were getting through it. I hated it but I completely understood and didn't say a word. Months later I found out he was keeping cigarettes in the car and occasionally smoking, and my head almost exploded  :glare: It was a bad scene, and I had no idea I'd react that way. 

 

Thanks for the discussion, I'll keep examining my (obviously very tangled) thoughts on the subject.

[ktgrok]

I have mixed feelings. It really depends on if the person is a comitted smoker who doesn't want to quit, or someone that wants to quit, maybe not today, but soon. My DH was a smoker when we met, but was trying to quit. He did quit shortly after we started dating. Then we broke up, and he started again. When we got back together he was still smoking, but then quit again. 

 

My reaons for caring at all are that smoking doesn't just hurt the smoker. My son, if he was dating a smoker, would be at risk too, from second and third hand smoke. My mother is a lung cancer survivor. Her father died of lung cancer. My sister and I grew up with asthma most likely caused by my parent's smoking, or at least made worse by it (they even smoked in the house). 

[Luanne]

I've noticed around here a lot of young people smoke... even more so than people who are older.  I don't understand it.  They now know the consequences of smoking and somehow think it won't affect them (which is entirely wrong).  I have to avoid people outside of buildings who are smoking because I was told not to be around people smoking (due to my breast cancer).  I wish people at least realized that they aren't the only ones they are affecting by smoking.  If affects EVERYONE around them as well.  I wouldn't consider a smoker a bad person, but I wouldn't consider them overly bright either.

[Lolly]

I would and have advised against it. Just as a general rule. Honestly, I do not believe any of mine would ever consider dating someone who smoked. They all abhor it. They also know that their sig other would not be welcomed to our home if they smoked. We would not be able to spend any time in his/her direct company. I tend to do my best to stay at least 3 feet away from someone who smokes. If you are a smoker and I have tolerated being that close to you for more than a few minutes, I must really want to spend time with you. My children do not seem to have quite as much tolerance as I do...