Financial Advice?

[Mynyel]

With everything that has happened to us we have racked up the debt. We had some before that but we were fine and we were making more than the minimum payments.

 

However we are now maxed and can't afford to make all the payments at once.

 

I really, really want to just pay these off and not declare bankruptcy or go through of those agencies that get your payments and interest lowered or whatnot and then you pay them and they in turn pay the credit card companies. I don't remember what they are called.

 

I have looked at Dave Ramsey's baby steps and don't mind trying it but with the current payments what they are we just can't afford it. We are about $200 a month over budget and that is with being on food stamps, which we haven't been approved for yet because our county is really, really slow. We are getting late fees and, if I don't pay this month (which we are going to try to do) we will start getting hit with over the limit fees.I have already trimmed as much fat as I can. No fancy cell plans, no cable TV. We have internet but that is essential since we work from home.

 

Does anyone have any experience in how to go about this? What can I do? I haven't ever had to do this so I am really unsure on how to proceed. We screwed ourselves royally over the last couple months. It wasn't intentional but we sure are paying to price.

 

Any knowledge? I can PM specifics if anyone needs it.

[City Mouse]

If you have looked at the Dave Ramsey stuff and have really seriously looked at your budget and you are still over budget you may have no choice but use one of the credit counseling agencies to get your payments and rates lowered.

 

We have not used one yet, but I know people who have and were happy with the results. If you are not already behind in your payments, what happens is that you immediately stop making payment to to the credit card companies and pay the money to the agency instead. Once you have done that for three or so months, the agency can negotiate with your creditors for reduced interest rates and lowered payments. The agency also works with you to establish a budget and figure out exactly how much you will need to give them each month toward your debt. You make bulk payments to the agency and the agency pays the creditors. This can take many years and your credit rating is destroyed, but if you cant make the payments anyway tha doesn't really matter much.

The big thing that my friend mentioned is that you are not allowed to buy anything on credit ever while you are working with the agency or they will drop you and you will be own your own. (At least that what she was told)

 

We are in a similar situation here, and it is tough to follow a very strict budget, but we are very slowly making progress. Live has been very different for the kids than it was just a few years ago. One thing that helped here was when my DD was old enough to get a summer job so that she could help with her own expenses and have some fun money that she would ocasionally use to treat her brother when I couldn't.

[Catwoman]

Have you contacted the credit card companies and explained your situation?

 

Contrary to what many people believe, you can negotiate the same kinds of payment plans, interest reductions, and fee reductions on your own that any agency can do -- and remember that those agencies do not work for free!

[Ottakee]

I would call each creditor and explain the situation and ask them to lower the interest rate and/or payments to help you out and that you are trying to pay them off.

 

Do you have anything you could sell to get a bit more money?

 

I would also look into any help your church might offer if you attend one.  Otherwise try a local agency for help with food, maybe your core utility bills, etc.  Some of them also offer credit/budget counseling for free and know what help might be available in your area.

[Pegasus]

You need to start by calling every credit card company.  Ask to lower your interest rate.  If you have typically paid on time and are late once, call and ask for the late fee to be forgiven.  This won't continue to work but they are usually willing to forgive the first one.  Same with the over the limit fee, etc.  You have to ASK.

 

Once you have done this, you really need to determine if you will be able to continue paying the current bills. . .and it would be best if you could pay more than the minimum on at least one of the bills.  If this is not possible, you should look into a non-profit credit counseling agency.  As long as you have income coming in, they should be able to help you make arrangements to pay off the bills over time. 

[zoobie]

If you don't have an increase in income coming (very) soon, and you're not meeting the budget of minimum payments by $200 now, the hole will keep increasing even with lowered rates. Can you clean houses or do anything to increase your income? Of course that would affect the rest of the budget (food stamps, etc.). Have you spoken with a reputable bankruptcy attorney?

[AmandaVT]

I agree with the PP's. Call the creditors. I got myself into a hole right out of college and really struggled for a few years. I remember Discover card worked with me. They dropped my interest rate to 0%, lowered my monthly payment from 150 ish to 44. The card got canceled, but I was able to pay it off $44 a month and the hit on my credit report wasn't too bad. One of my Visa companies also worked with me. 

 

Do you own your home? You could look into refinancing and paying off the credit cards in the refi. That option is dangerous if you think there is any chance you might have to resort to using the cards again though. My MIL refinanced her house in 2003, paid off all of her credit cards (close to $30k) and was back in mega debt just a few years later. 

 

 

[gardenmom5]

you also need to look at your attitude towards spending - and what is a necessity, and what is a want. 

 

cut all non-essential expenses.  if you have a car payment, can you sell it and buy a cheaper car that has no payment?  it would also see your car insurance go down.  

 

e.g. food is a necessity - take out (or other convenience foods) is not.  look at how much groceries cost, and cut out non-essentials.  jarred pasta sauce is not a necessity (and doesn't taste that good anyway.  it's cheaper to make your own.)  that pack of gum or candy bar at the check-out is not essential.  a newspaper subscription is not essential.

 

nickles and dimes (aka: misc) do more to kill a budget than big expenses.

[KrissiK]

I will tell you what I would do if I were in that situation.... I am not saying this is what you should do.... But if it were me, I would put my kids in school for a year or two or however long it took, and I'd get a job. But, that's me.

[beaners]

I will tell you what I would do if I were in that situation.... I am not saying this is what you should do.... But if it were me, I would put my kids in school for a year or two or however long it took, and I'd get a job. But, that's me.

 

I don't know what grade her 15 year old would be, but that may require that her daughter goes in as a freshman.

[Catwoman]

 

I really prefer a print teacher's edition to digital format.

Reported.

 

Looks like we have a new troll du jour.

[PentecostalMom]

I will tell you what I would do if I were in that situation.... I am not saying this is what you should do.... But if it were me, I would put my kids in school for a year or two or however long it took, and I'd get a job. But, that's me.

 

Apparently she already works.  She said they have internet because they work from home.  There is a link in the signature. 

 

I do, however, agree with selling everything you have to sell, and one or both of you taking a on a second job.  You can still stay home and babysit, clean houses or offices at night, someone can deliver pizza, etc.  I know it's not ideal and it is difficult, but it can be done.  That is how we came up with our initial emergency fund.

 

Also, curriculum expenses could be reduced or eliminated using Book Samaritan or the library, maybe even borrowing from a fellow hsing family.  Just some ideas.

[ficbot]

I am a huge devotee of Gail Vaz-Oxlade's books and TV shows, and this is a subject I am very passionate about. Gail advocates using cash for everything. Her system uses jars---literal, physical ones! You put cash in the jars for different categories (groceries, entertainment etc) and whenever you buy something, you use the cash from the appropriate jar. You run out of cash, then no more shopping until the next week when the jar is refilled. Using cash REALLY makes you aware of what you are spending! Here is what I would suggest for you:

 

Step 1: Resolve to get off the credit train. Use cash only so that the balance on your debts stabilizes and does not keep going up!

 

Step 2: Get the debt payments as low as possible. Call each credit card, creditor, whomever, and politely explain your situation. Explain that you want to pay off your debt and avoid bankruptcy. Ask them what sort of payment plan they can offer you. They will want something as opposed to nothing! Tell them you want to work out a minimum monthly amount and write down what that amount is.

 

Step 3: Think about ways you can make more money. If you do shift work, can you get a few more shifts? If you do freelance work, can you get a new client? You might also think about using this opportunity to get your daughter more involved in the household budget. I as about this age when my mother downloaded the clothing responsibilities to me. She gave me a set amount which represented what she would contribute to my clothing budget, and if I wanted extra, I had to earn it through babysitting (my stepfather was a dentist and had many dentist friends with kids, and I was lucky to be as busy as I wanted to be).

 

Step 4: Now, you need to work out a budget that balances. Begin with your fixed expenses---house, car, debt payments, anything that is an absolute must. The number left over is what you have for 'everything else.' Divide it amongst the discretionary jars (Gail usually gives the TV show clients jars for food, transportation, entertainment and clothing/gifts; the latter includes pets but not kids. I have a friend who follows this system and she created a separate jar for the baby and took all baby expenses from there). 

 

Step 5: Divide your jar money by 4 and refill it every week. In my house, we refill it every other week to correspond with our paydays, but the point is that you arrive at a fixed amount per week for these expenses). Then every time you go shopping, take the money from the appropriate jar with you.

 

As for paying down the debt, there are two strategies; first, make the minimum payments on all. Then you can either apply any extra funds to the highest debt first, or you can do a 'debt snowball' and apply it to the lowest debt. You won't save quite as much in interest, but the small debts can be paid off more quickly and that will reduce the number of creditors and give you a psychological boost. Then what you do is take the payment you were giving to them and apply it to the next one on the list as an extra to get that one paid off quicker.

 

Good luck! I followed Gail's plan very carefully and in four years where I earned less than 30,000 I was able to pay my expenses, pay off my student loan (15K) and put 10K in a retirement account. It works!

[OrganicAnn]

I saw a TV show with a family who said that they couldn't cut any more.    I can't remember which financial guru helped them, but they got rid* of pets that required expensive food, sold an 'extra' car or truck, cut out cable, reduced budget for food and other regular items.   They were able to save hundred per month (but they were spending on lots of unnecessary items and lived in a high cost area).   That couple weren't taking a hard enough look at their spending and what they could sell.   

 

If you've really done everything you can to cut costs, then you have to either look to increase your income or get the CC companies to help you out.  

 

 

*got rid of by having someone else adopt them.   I think they were some kind of pets that ate live crickets daily.

[LMV]

If you have looked at the Dave Ramsey stuff and have really seriously looked at your budget and you are still over budget you may have no choice but use one of the credit counseling agencies to get your payments and rates lowered.

 

We have not used one yet, but I know people who have and were happy with the results. If you are not already behind in your payments, what happens is that you immediately stop making payment to to the credit card companies and pay the money to the agency instead. Once you have done that for three or so months, the agency can negotiate with your creditors for reduced interest rates and lowered payments. The agency also works with you to establish a budget and figure out exactly how much you will need to give them each month toward your debt. You make bulk payments to the agency and the agency pays the creditors. This can take many years and your credit rating is destroyed, but if you cant make the payments anyway tha doesn't really matter much.

 

With the caveat that I have no personal experience with this, I would not recommend this strategy. In general I think you are always better off working with the original creditors.  In the scheme above the agency is banking that when you default on your account it will go to collections and this will give them leverage to negotiate with the collection agency.

 

[elegantlion]

One of the best things to do is stop spending on credit cards. The other is to truly sit down and look at your financial situation. Pen and paper list the bills, companies, interest rates, then gut it up and make some phone calls. Live on beans and rice (or the equivelent) until your food aid comes through. Look for food banks until then, also ask about toiletries, you won't be able to buy any non-food item with food stamps. 

 

Determine what you need to spend, don't drive unless necessary, and project your expenses for the next few months. 

 

I know you've been through hell, but the best thing to do is, like the song says, keep on going. Do the tough things, like calling the CC companies before you are further behind. 

 

Also pay your rent, don't put your home in jeopardy, even though I know you're not totally happy. 

 

Also, remember you are NOT your circumstances. You can get through this with your sanity intact. Stay focused, stay disciplined, and brutal with the budget. 

[elegantlion]

With the caveat that I have no personal experience with this, I would not recommend this strategy. In general I think you are always better off working with the original creditors.  In the scheme above the agency is banking that when you default on your account it will go to collections and this will give them leverage to negotiate with the collection agency.

 

 

Actually, there are non-profits that do just that for free and are helpful. Consumer Credit Counseling used to be one of them, not sure if they're still around. The don't do anything you really can't do on your own, but they have the connections and clout to truly help. Also, if you're already at the emotional tipping  point, they can do the legwork for you. 

 

I used them eons ago. I made a payment to them monthly, received a statement of bills they paid. I had a time frame outlined for each bill. I had to attend a few credit counseling sessions to use their service, but they were very helpful in time when I didn't have the emotional ability to deal with it all on my own. 

[Joanne]

Just a note of support.

I've not found DR to be terribly helpful for low income - income low enough to qualify for food stamps, for example. I've not found getting a "beater" to be helpful. For us (yes, I tried it) to cost more more, time, family resources.

 

I have posted many threads here on budget related issues. I've posted, and took the psychic hit reading that I need to work, make homemade everything, give up my vehicle, give up basic cable, sell everything.

When you are truly at the lowest - minimum/no cable, no fancy phones, sold everything of value, and you can't add another job/income source without severe family impact - it seems that there are no answers. Creating a "debt snowball" requires snow. ;)

 

{{{{many tender hugs}}}}

 

Most of my debt was not "consumer" with the exception of vehicles. So, what do I do? Well, I did go to work, and to work, and to more work. And I took things from DR and this forum that worked for me. And, no, I never did make my own spaghetti sauce when I can get jarred/canned sauce on sale for $.88.  I sold everything of value. I kept my car payment, and eventually added another. (The original - vehicle and payment is now with estranged husband). I've been working on it for years. I celebrate other's people financial success. I immerse myself in gratitude about the ways my life IS rich. But I work to give up attachment to a short timetable.

It's been going on 10 years - and I only NOW see the way out. I'm not there yet, but I am where I can access the solution.

 

{{{OP}}}
 

 

 

 

[Ameena]

Just a note of support.

 

I've not found DR to be terribly helpful for low income - income low enough to qualify for food stamps, for example. I've not found getting a "beater" to be helpful. For us (yes, I tried it) to cost more more, time, family resources.

 

Same here - used to be a big DR fan, but found out the hard way that following his babysteps is the OPPOSITE of what a low-income or very low income family should do. If I had it to do over again I would have taken the funds I paid on my student loans {which I ended up defaulting on anyways} & bought a paid for house. That really is babystep #1 or #2 for low income - buy a beater house {even if it's a trailer}. With the house paid for, bills are SOOOOOOOO much lower. Around here you can buy a beater house for maybe $35K - sometimes half that if you aren't as picky about neighborhood.

 

Honestly - right now ignore the creditors on everything but the 4 walls. The worst thing they can do is try to get a judgement on you, which will take a while & you have to appear before a judge. Most folks I know showed the judge where they were on food stamps, etc & the judge said they were "impoverished" and told them to check in with the creditors if things changed financially {like if they suddenly got a high paying job or won the lottery}.

[Mynyel]

you also need to look at your attitude towards spending - and what is a necessity, and what is a want. 

 

cut all non-essential expenses.  if you have a car payment, can you sell it and buy a cheaper car that has no payment?  it would also see your car insurance go down.  

 

.We have two beater cars that aren't worth much. One we use for the family when we all need to go somewhere, the other is used for everything else because it is much better on gas. It would cost more to sell one because we would have to sell the Honda and use the minivan. The minivan isn't very efficient on gas.

 

e.g. food is a necessity - take out (or other convenience foods) is not.  look at how much groceries cost, and cut out non-essentials.  jarred pasta sauce is not a necessity (and doesn't taste that good anyway.  it's cheaper to make your own.)  that pack of gum or candy bar at the check-out is not essential.  a newspaper subscription is not essential.

 

I already do all that. We are pretty much on a whole foods diet and I make everything from scratch if at all possible.

 

nickles and dimes (aka: misc) do more to kill a budget than big expenses.

 

I don't go anywhere so I am not spending money. Trust me when I say we cut back as much as humanly possible.

 

 

I will tell you what I would do if I were in that situation.... I am not saying this is what you should do.... But if it were me, I would put my kids in school for a year or two or however long it took, and I'd get a job. But, that's me.

 

Thank you but that just isn't an option. It would take more time and money to take them to school (clothes, lunches, time) than it does to keep them home. Not to mention the mental toll on the kids. They do not want to go. At all. I just can't do that to them.

 

 

Apparently she already works.  She said they have internet because they work from home.  There is a link in the signature. 

 

I do, however, agree with selling everything you have to sell, and one or both of you taking a on a second job.  You can still stay home and babysit, clean houses or offices at night, someone can deliver pizza, etc.  I know it's not ideal and it is difficult, but it can be done.  That is how we came up with our initial emergency fund.

 

Dh already works 30 hours a week and I work 25 hours. I don't know how we would even be able to fit in a second job. I know I can't do it, not if I want to school the kids. We have to figure this out on our current income. That is why I was asking. I needed info. The credit counseling companies sound good but I think I will try it on my own. It seems counter intuitive to pay someone to pay my debt. If we could cut our current credit card payments in half (probably a lofty goal) we would be fine.

 

Also, curriculum expenses could be reduced or eliminated using Book Samaritan or the library, maybe even borrowing from a fellow hsing family.  Just some ideas.

 

Ah, fortunately for me I stocked up when we were doing well last year and tax return this year. I don't need any curriculum until next summer and then I do buy used! :)

 

 

Thank you for all the words of wisdom. Sounds to me like I pretty much have done everything but call the companies myself. I am going to work on that today and tomorrow.

 

Another question, some cards are in only one name or the other. I would need a power of attorney for dh in order for me to speak on his behalf correct?

[goldberry]

 

 

Another question, some cards are in only one name or the other. I would need a power of attorney for dh in order for me to speak on his behalf correct?

 

I just had my husband initiate the phone call, verify his identity, then tell them he is handing the phone to his wife to discuss the issue.

 

Some places are pickier than others.

 

Several family members have had good experiences with credit counseling companies, just be careful to research the one you pick if you can't get it done on your own.  Be honest when you call the actual cc companies yourself.  Tell them if you can't get something done, you won't be able to pay these bills and will have to consider bankruptcy.  They often would rather work with you.

[prairiewindmomma]

In our family, dh would seek additional employment as I am the primary educator/taker of kids to medical appointments.

 

My dh currently works 60 hours a week...50 at the place of his employer and an additional 2 hours at night for his employer. Some weeks it's more. He earns a good salary, but we have high medical expenses.

 

At some point you just need more income, and if you qualify for aid, it sounds like you are there. You need to dig out and rebuild your cushion.

[NCMom]

I agree with calling the cc companies to see if you can work something out.  But the cc bills are really usually only a symptom of  larger financial problems.

 

Short term

If your dh works only 30 hours per week then you have a lot of room to maneuver. Seriously, together you are only working 55 hours per week. At that amount of work, at what I assume are jobs that pay less than $15 an hour (I used to work for the company you work for and I seriously hope you are payed hourly not for talk time) then you will never get ahead especially in a slightly higher cost of living area.  You collectively need to be working more hours, preferably at something where you can move up/ get paid more/get benefits/learn a trade/find a career path.

 

Which leads into long term...

Seriously consider also that one or both of you needs to be at the community college/apprenticing/what have you to begin preparing for a job that brings you to a higher standard of living.

 

:grouphug:

Georgia

 

 

 

 

 

 

[DawnM]

It is really hard to give solid advice without knowing your budget.  I am on some websites where people post their budgets for people to comb through and find ways they can save.

 

Rarely have I seen people who truly live at the lowest level they are able with no wiggle room to cut anything out.  Usually there are a few categories that can be pared back or even eliminated.  Many times these are the things people think they can't live without.

 

However, a few thoughts:

 

1. Can you sell the house and move in with relatives for a while?

2. Can you cut your eating budget?  I have posted many times the e-book on how to feed your family of 4 for $250/month.  

3. Do you thrift store shop for your clothing, shoes, and everything you can when you need it?

4. Do you make your own cleaning supplies, including laundry soap?

5. Have you called your cable company to ask if they can give you a discount?

6. Are you able to cut back on any insurance costs?  

7. Can you sell some things to help out?

 

 

[Carrie12345]

"Dh already works 30 hours a week and I work 25 hours. I don't know how we would even be able to fit in a second job. I know I can't do it, not if I want to school the kids. We have to figure this out on our current income. That is why I was asking. I needed info. The credit counseling companies sound good but I think I will try it on my own. It seems counter intuitive to pay someone to pay my debt. If we could cut our current credit card payments in half (probably a lofty goal) we would be fine."

 

I don't want to pile on but I have to ask, does your dh (or do you) work odd hours that make it difficult to schedule other things? A 30 hour work week is well under what most full-time working people handle, not even counting commutes. *I* don't work b/c dh does have an unpredictable schedule that requires someone to always be available for the kids (and what sitter is willing to put their lives on hold just in case?) but he's working well over 60 hours some weeks, plus a 3 hour or more round-trip commute. You do what ya gotta do!

[Carrie12345]

Adding,

 

"If we could cut our current credit card payments in half (probably a lofty goal) we would be fine."

 

Well, not exactly. If your payments are cut in half, you might be able to pay the current bill, but you will never pay it off. And if something ever happens to your employment situation or you need to replace a car or someone needs emergency surgery, you will still be sunk.

 

Unless you ARE willing to declare bankrupcy, you're only way out from under the heap is by getting more money.

[Scarlett]

I agreee Dave Ramsey isn't for everyone....I don't agree that low income can't follow the principles...

 

One thing that is helpful when times are as tough as what the OP is describing is to list 'the four walls' and take care of those needs first before putting ANY money toward debt.  I think they are Housing/Essential utilities/transportation and food.  Someone correct me if I am wrong. 

 

So after taking care of the four walls you can only do what you can do. 

[Carrie12345]

If you read up on DR success stories, you can see that the low-income families are pretty equally represented. It's undeniably more difficult, but still doable for those who seriously commit to it.

[Mynyel]

It is really hard to give solid advice without knowing your budget.  I am on some websites where people post their budgets for people to comb through and find ways they can save.

 

Rarely have I seen people who truly live at the lowest level they are able with no wiggle room to cut anything out.  Usually there are a few categories that can be pared back or even eliminated.  Many times these are the things people think they can't live without.

 

However, a few thoughts:

 

1. Can you sell the house and move in with relatives for a while? We rent so no we can't sell :) and the only relatives we could move in with (that are within a 2 hour radius) kicked us out after a week in July when most of this started.

 

2. Can you cut your eating budget?  I have posted many times the e-book on how to feed your family of 4 for $250/month.  I'd like that ebook. There isn't much to cut. I have some stuff from before we moved that we have been getting into so the weekly budget right now isn't to high but even with food stamps we are still over budget.

 

 

3. Do you thrift store shop for your clothing, shoes, and everything you can when you need it? Yes, we do. I don't buy shoes used though. That is the only thing I really won't compromise on, I don't like the fact that I am wearing others shoes. So I just get them at Walmart, Kmart or Target. I don't buy Nike or Reebok or anything like that.

 

4. Do you make your own cleaning supplies, including laundry soap? Yes, I do. I use vinegar and lemon juice for cleaning and make my own detergent.

 

5. Have you called your cable company to ask if they can give you a discount? We don't have cable, just internet for work.

 

6. Are you able to cut back on any insurance costs?  The only insurance we have is auto insurance which is about $45 a month or so.

 

7. Can you sell some things to help out? Lol... sell what? :) We don't have anything that we can sell.

 

 

 

"Dh already works 30 hours a week and I work 25 hours. I don't know how we would even be able to fit in a second job. I know I can't do it, not if I want to school the kids. We have to figure this out on our current income. That is why I was asking. I needed info. The credit counseling companies sound good but I think I will try it on my own. It seems counter intuitive to pay someone to pay my debt. If we could cut our current credit card payments in half (probably a lofty goal) we would be fine."

 

I don't want to pile on but I have to ask, does your dh (or do you) work odd hours that make it difficult to schedule other things? A 30 hour work week is well under what most full-time working people handle, not even counting commutes. *I* don't work b/c dh does have an unpredictable schedule that requires someone to always be available for the kids (and what sitter is willing to put their lives on hold just in case?) but he's working well over 60 hours some weeks, plus a 3 hour or more round-trip commute. You do what ya gotta do!

 

My dh does work odd hours as do I. Granted I can make my own schedule but I try to make it around his schedule and getting my hours is no walk in the park either. There are times I just have to take what I can get. He has to work when the work is there or miss it. Although he doesn't work full-time hours he makes more than if he was to get an outside job working full-time. They pay a decent wage for his work so that is why he has stuck with it. Why work more hours for the same rate of pay? It just makes it difficult to do anything else.

[Mynyel]

OK, based off the advice of everyone I went back through and looked at his pay, my pay, the budget and how many hours I can squeeze out of me. I am going to in 5 extra hours a week. One hour One little hour on my days off that I allotted myself and one hour before bed on the others. That won't be to hard and it puts us over the hump. We still don't come out ahead but we can break even more easily.

 

I am still going to contact the credit card companies about lowering interest rates, even just a couple points could be helpful!

[Moxie]

I hate to beat the Dave Ramsey drum some more but, like he says, there are only 2 issues.  Income and outgo.  If you have cut your spending as far as you can, the only option is to find a way to make more income.  Working with your creditors is a start but it also give you a false sense of having done something when, in reality, the debt is worse because you're dragging it out longer.

 

You previously posted that your DH was ready to pull up stakes and take off without a plan again.  Have the two of you gotten on the same page yet?  Does he want to pay off the debt?  You can't move this mountain alone.

[RanchGirl]

Is your husband disabled?  If the work at home customer service thing is important, why not work that and another 40 hr a week job?  My husband would do that in a heartbeat, to get out of debt and then get ahead, both by having a growing savings account and working toward a career with a future.

[*lifeoftheparty*]

I have to agree with others. DH has always said that if he couldn't meet our needs with one job, he would get 2, or 3... Whatever he could physically do and still be able to get 6-7 hours of sleep- he would do- before I would ever have to put kids in school/daycare and go to work.

 

To be fair, we have never come close to being in that situation, so it's easy for us "to say" what we would do. But that is the plan should it ever come to that.

[Chris in VA]

You can ask your credit card companies for a 6 month to year-long "hardship" rate. It will lower your interest and you will have more of your payment going to lower the principle, which will lower your payment, too--but, of course, you want to pay what you casn or it'll take thirty years or more to pay off, iykwim.

 

Or, if you can save up some $, you can ask to settle in cash. But that doesn't sound feasible now, and it affects your credit for a good long time.

 

Not fully understanding your situastion, I would agre w/your husband taking another pt job. But, it's easy to advise when I don't know the particulars.

 

Sorry you have to go thru this.

[QueenCat]

If your dh only works 30 hours a week, he has plenty of time for a second job. A normal full time job is 40 hours a week minimum. I can't even imagine my dh thinking a 30 hour work week was sufficient to maintain a household. I can see why one of you would not work full time but there is no reason one of you can't be working more than full time.

[happypamama]

I would call the credit card companies, explain the situation, and ask for a hardship plan. They can close the account in exchange for a much lower interest rate and fixed payment, which will save you cash now and allow you to pay off the debt sooner. You can talk to them directly and avoid a counseling program. If you do need a counseling program, I'd go with one approved by Dave Ramsey or crown.org.

 

You also need to figure out the bigger picture and what is causing the difficulties. Sometimes there's not a good answer. We're victims of the housing market crash; it seriously hampered DH's industry. More education won't help him, and he already works really long hours. With three kids under school age, daycare (plus commute, since we're rural and in a house we can't sell) would eat up anything I'd make. I feel for you.

[ficbot]

Fwiw, my guy IS disabled, and he still works a 40-hour work week---and makes twice what I do :)

 

I would really think about things you could do, short-term, to buy yourself some wiggle room. If you can put together an extra $1000 from one month of overtime, selling anything you can sell, getting a paper route or doing some babysitting or anything extra, that would cover your budget shortfall of $200 for 5 months!

 

When I was in this situation (making a low salary, living expenses to cover and a student debt to pay off (which my parents had cosigned on, so I was very eager to get it paid off ASAP) I had a second job teaching Sunday school for two hours every Sunday, and I did some babysitting too. It was tough to live in a basement apartment that wasn't wonderful, and to give up so much personal time, but the next year I got a slightly better job, and I kept up the babysitting right up until two years ago, when I had my loan paid off and a little more wiggle room in my savings. And that was also when I met my guy and wanted the free time again :)

 

Even now, I do a little moonlighting. I run an after-school program through the school where I teach, and I get a few thousand dollars extra from it. I also get a little money from some freelance writing stuff. I don't mind doing a little bit of hustling it it buys me the peace of mind of knowing I have a little wiggle room in my savings account.

 

A few more suggestions---and really, I am just throwing as many ideas out there as I can because none of the other posted ideas seem to work for you---

 

1) Cut the budget for the older kids. Maybe they can pay for some of their own clothes or school expenses by getting a part-time job themselves? Paper route? Babysitting?

 

2) Maybe your husband can do some part-time work during the times you are home. Lawn mowing? Paper route? Delivery? Something where it might not be too many hours but will give you a little more?

 

3) Have a 'no spending' challenge and see how long you can go without grocery shopping. We did this once and were surprised. We were due for a shopping trip but then my partner, who is disabled, was sick for four days and we couldn't go. I had to break out the canned fruits when we ran out of fresh ones, and scour the freezer for stray bagels for lunches, but I did it and to my surprise we managed to go four days past our 'time to shop' day without starving.

 

4) Can you go meatless? We are vegetarian and our food bills are so cheap compared to other people we know. I have also found that many vegetarian meals can be made with solely pantry items---oatmeal, rice, beans, pasta etc. are very inexpensive at the bulk food store, keep forever, and can be used to make all sorts of things. I dislike cooking and find these ingredients easy to work with even for me.

 

5) Can you start your own side business? I understand you have a main job you like. What about selling crafts on Etsy or ebay? Writing for a blog (I get $6 a post at the blog I write for). Writing an ebook about parenting or homeschooling or something and selling it on Amazon? The money might be small at first, but maybe you could grow it into something.

 

Does any of this help?

[Mynyel]

Fwiw, my guy IS disabled, and he still works a 40-hour work week---and makes twice what I do :)

 

I would really think about things you could do, short-term, to buy yourself some wiggle room. If you can put together an extra $1000 from one month of overtime, selling anything you can sell, getting a paper route or doing some babysitting or anything extra, that would cover your budget shortfall of $200 for 5 months!

 

When I was in this situation (making a low salary, living expenses to cover and a student debt to pay off (which my parents had cosigned on, so I was very eager to get it paid off ASAP) I had a second job teaching Sunday school for two hours every Sunday, and I did some babysitting too. It was tough to live in a basement apartment that wasn't wonderful, and to give up so much personal time, but the next year I got a slightly better job, and I kept up the babysitting right up until two years ago, when I had my loan paid off and a little more wiggle room in my savings. And that was also when I met my guy and wanted the free time again :)

 

Even now, I do a little moonlighting. I run an after-school program through the school where I teach, and I get a few thousand dollars extra from it. I also get a little money from some freelance writing stuff. I don't mind doing a little bit of hustling it it buys me the peace of mind of knowing I have a little wiggle room in my savings account.

 

A few more suggestions---and really, I am just throwing as many ideas out there as I can because none of the other posted ideas seem to work for you---

 

1) Cut the budget for the older kids. Maybe they can pay for some of their own clothes or school expenses by getting a part-time job themselves? Paper route? Babysitting? Mine aren't old enough for jobs yet and we know absolutely no one to even ask about babysitting, the people we do know already have each others kids babysitting. I don't have time for a paper route. We live rural and the paper isn't delivered around here.

 

2) Maybe your husband can do some part-time work during the times you are home. Lawn mowing? Paper route? Delivery? Something where it might not be too many hours but will give you a little more?

 

3) Have a 'no spending' challenge and see how long you can go without grocery shopping. We did this once and were surprised. We were due for a shopping trip but then my partner, who is disabled, was sick for four days and we couldn't go. I had to break out the canned fruits when we ran out of fresh ones, and scour the freezer for stray bagels for lunches, but I did it and to my surprise we managed to go four days past our 'time to shop' day without starving. This is a good idea and I have tried but dh complains there isn't anything to eat and I run out of ideas. I will try again. See what ideas I can come up with for meals.

 

4) Can you go meatless? We are vegetarian and our food bills are so cheap compared to other people we know. I have also found that many vegetarian meals can be made with solely pantry items---oatmeal, rice, beans, pasta etc. are very inexpensive at the bulk food store, keep forever, and can be used to make all sorts of things. I dislike cooking and find these ingredients easy to work with even for me. We do kinda a half and half. We do not eat meat every night. I spend maybe $20 on meat every week.

 

5) Can you start your own side business? I understand you have a main job you like. What about selling crafts on Etsy or ebay? Writing for a blog (I get $6 a post at the blog I write for). Writing an ebook about parenting or homeschooling or something and selling it on Amazon? The money might be small at first, but maybe you could grow it into something. I have started my own business, it just is going slow. I haven't been able to really dedicate the time I need yet. I do make crafts but again I run into the time issue.

 

Does any of this help? Yes! :)

 

Thank you all for the suggestions. I am going to do what I can. *sigh* This is just a statement of fact but dh will not take a second job. He won't do anything but his job until we move out of the south, so he says. It is just what he says. *shrug* He's rather declare bankruptcy than "work himself into the ground". I just had to throw that out there because a lot of you were asking about dh. :)

[Moxie]

Thank you all for the suggestions. I am going to do what I can. *sigh* This is just a statement of fact but dh will not take a second job. He won't do anything but his job until we move out of the south, so he says. It is just what he says. *shrug* He's rather declare bankruptcy than "work himself into the ground". I just had to throw that out there because a lot of you were asking about dh. :)

Sorry you are dealing with that. Sounds like he's 90% of your problem. I'd have a very hard time respecting a man with that attitude.

[idnib]

Thank you all for the suggestions. I am going to do what I can. *sigh* This is just a statement of fact but dh will not take a second job. He won't do anything but his job until we move out of the south, so he says. It is just what he says. *shrug* He's rather declare bankruptcy than "work himself into the ground". I just had to throw that out there because a lot of you were asking about dh. :)

 

Does he feel any responsibility for any of the recent things that have happened in your lives? 

 

I've been following your story and it seems to me that a series of decisions and circumstances may have taken his option to indulge this attitude off the table....

[Melissa in Australia]

I saw a TV show with a family who said that they couldn't cut any more.    I can't remember which financial guru helped them, but they got rid* of pets that required expensive food, sold an 'extra' car or truck, cut out cable, reduced budget for food and other regular items.   They were able to save hundred per month (but they were spending on lots of unnecessary items and lived in a high cost area).   That couple weren't taking a hard enough look at their spending and what they could sell.   

 

If you've really done everything you can to cut costs, then you have to either look to increase your income or get the CC companies to help you out.  

 

 

*got rid of by having someone else adopt them.   I think they were some kind of pets that ate live crickets daily.

:iagree:

 

getting rid of pets and other expenses is a great way to live more within means

[creekland]

This is just a statement of fact but dh will not take a second job. He won't do anything but his job until we move out of the south, so he says. It is just what he says. *shrug* He's rather declare bankruptcy than "work himself into the ground". I just had to throw that out there because a lot of you were asking about dh. :)

UGH!  MY teenager and my college student work more than 30 hours per week (though the high schooler has cut back to 24 hours now that school has begun).

 

I'll admit I could not live with that attitude - it would be major friction here if I lived with a freeloader.  And I wish bankruptcy and food stamps weren't an option for those who refuse to work at least normal hours...

 

I have NO problem with food stamps, etc, for those who truly need them, but not for those who refuse " to work themselves into the ground" when their definition of that is 30 hours per week.

 

Just my two cents.  I feel for you and your kids!  Can you let him go hungry telling him you paid bills but without more income there isn't enough for food for him?  Maybe that would move his lazy _____.

[creekland]

ps  (It won't let me edit, so I need to do a new post.)

 

When the economy hit our household badly I took on a part time job working 35 hours per week and thought nothing of it.  Hubby can work 60 hours during a "normal" economy and it seriously isn't that much (think about it, only 10 hours per day for 6 days a week - start at 8, done by 6 or 7 pending if lunch is paid).  A "normal" work week of 40 hours is just 8 hours per day 5 days per week.  It's hardly working oneself to death!  When hubby didn't have much work during the economic downturn he did whatever he could finding new "one time" jobs and some larger ones.  When he wasn't working he was actively looking for work.  THAT I admire.  It worked.  We never needed food stamps nor debt refinancing, etc.  We cut back our spending considerably and WORKED to earn what we needed to pay for things.

 

 

[DawnM]

Here is the e-book I mentioned:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Feed-Family-More-Month-ebook/dp/B00710A0V6/ref=pd_sim_kstore_1

 

Here is their website:

 

http://www.budget101.com/budget101-free-ebook/free-ebook-groceries-200-month-2547.html

 

Their newest version is $2.99 here:

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00703HTGS/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00703HTGS&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwhip2saveco-20

 

Back to cutting expenses........when I said call the cable company, I meant FOR internet.  I call every few months and ask what promotions, specials or discounts they can give me.  They always offer me something, even $5/mo off.

 

I will still re-recommend you only buy used and only when 100% necessary, even with clothing and shoes.   You simply cannot live the same way and expect different results.  When we were being uber frugal, we started buying only used.  Now that we are much more financially healthy, we still buy used.  I find some (literally ) worn once shoes, some don't even show wear at all on the bottom.  Same with clothing.  I found my husband a pair of Ecco shoes ($190 retail) for $3 and they had no scuffs on the soles at all and I really think they hadn't been worn.

 

As had been mentioned.....you HAVE to cut expenses or increase income.  There is no other way.

 

 

[MedicMom]

Thank you all for the suggestions. I am going to do what I can. *sigh* This is just a statement of fact but dh will not take a second job. He won't do anything but his job until we move out of the south, so he says. It is just what he says. *shrug* He's rather declare bankruptcy than "work himself into the ground". I just had to throw that out there because a lot of you were asking about dh. :)

If my husband said that to me, we would be having a very serious discussion about whether he wanted to be an adult or wanted to move back in with his mom--minus me and the kids. I'm not talking divorce; I'm saying that would be his two options. Working 30 hours a week is fewer hours that what I work as a part time paramedic. My husband is scheduled at 57 hours a week and often picks up extra. The economy sucks and this is what we have to do; it's providing for our family, not working ourselves into the ground.

 

I'm sorry but I find his attitude disgusting.

[DawnM]

I apparently didn't catch the comment about working more than 30 hours a week being something that would run him into the ground.

 

That is very odd.

 

My husband works 40-50 hours per week on a regular week (about 6-7 months per year) and then works between 60-80 during busy seasons.  He is 46 and healthy and doesn't feel like he is being run into the ground.  

 

If my Dh only worked 30 hours a week and we couldn't make ends meet I would have some serious issues too.

 

 

If my husband said that to me, we would be having a very serious discussion about whether he wanted to be an adult or wanted to move back in with his mom--minus me and the kids. I'm not talking divorce; I'm saying that would be his two options. Working 30 hours a week is fewer hours that what I work as a part time paramedic. My husband is scheduled at 57 hours a week and often picks up extra. The economy sucks and this is what we have to do; it's providing for our family, not working ourselves into the ground.

I'm sorry but I find his attitude disgusting.

 

[Scarlett]

Another one here whose dh works like a crazy man to make ends meet. He started a new office job last Wednesday......worked 9 hours a day Wed, Thursday Friday and then 12 hours laying tile on sat ( up at 5 a.m. Home at 8:30...tile job is an hour from our house) 4 hours laying tile Sunday afternoon after services...went to his office job yesterday until 5 and then straight to the tile job and got home at 11:00 last night. Back up at 6 this morning to go back to the office. So no time off at all this weekend...

 

The OP can't control her dh though. I don't know what to tell her when most of the problem really is her dh's lack of initiative. If I were her I would focus on feeding my children and keeping a roof over their heads.

[Moxie]

I would love to write a paragraph regarding my feelings about the OP husband but that won't help the OP and I think she's gotten the message already.

 

What would I do in your situation? I would see if DH would consider staying at home with the kids and then I'd get a full time job to better my family.

 

Every time I see a thread about someone who has been left penniless or someone in this type of situation, I think back to Trivium Academy; ya'll remember her? Her husband had mental health (and other) issues. She put the kids in school, got a job as a bank teller and worked her way up to manager so she could take care of her family. I always admired her.

[Carrie12345]

Thank you all for the suggestions. I am going to do what I can. *sigh* This is just a statement of fact but dh will not take a second job. He won't do anything but his job until we move out of the south, so he says. It is just what he says. *shrug* He's rather declare bankruptcy than "work himself into the ground". I just had to throw that out there because a lot of you were asking about dh. :)

That's a terrible shame.

We have a lot of conversations here about how much work is too much work. But we do so from the relatively luxurious position of already having the basics covered.

When we didn't have the basics covered, dh worked 70 hour weeks and I took very low paying jobs. His butt busting has paid off exponentially in the past decade. Mine put food on the table to keep us from going further into debt, which also paid off in preventing compound interest.

 

Yes, it sucked giant monkey cojones, pardon my French. But I do consider it a testimony to DR's "Live like no one else so you can live like no one else."

 

I don't consider this a "man" issue at all, FTR. It annoys me just as much that a certain woman I know complains that waitressing 4 nights a week doesn't cover her budget. Well, duh!

[JustEm]

If your husband will not work more hours I think your only realistic option is to declare bankruptcy. You will work yourself too much homeschooling your children, working too much, and stressing over the burden of being the only adult doing ALL they can do to get out of this mess. If he won't man up and work more to provide for his family he either needs to do the schooling so you can work more to make money or you both need to declare bankruptcy.  But with someone not willing to work you will likely just end up where you are now a few years down the line.