The "I am ready for summer to end and school to start" comments have already started on my FB

[lynn]

Some  are already looking forward to next year, yes 2014/2015 when the school schedule will go back to starting the beginning of August.

 

Should I comment how excited I am to be starting our HS year to start next Monday :D

[FaithManor]

Nah! Give them all something to speculate about. Announce that you're moving to a nudist colony devoted to alternative educational norms and giving away all the family clothing.

 

I mean, if you are going to make a school post, make it a really fantastic one! :D

[unsinkable]

It's probably easier to say, "Can't wait for school to start!" than to say "I'm thrown off by my drastic change in routine and I want life to be like it is 10 months out of the year."

[Desert Strawberry]

Ugh. Those posts turn my stomach.  :ack2:

 

I mentioned at tennis this summer that I was sooo ready to start school and get back to our normal life. I was talking to a homeschooling friend, but there was another mom there, too. I had a panicky moment when I thought she might mean I wanted to ditch my kids, but she followed right along asking about our plans for homeschool. Phwew  :blush:

[Desert Strawberry]

It's probably easier to say, "Can't wait for school to start!" than to say "I'm thrown off by my drastic change in routine and I want life to be like it is 10 months out of the year."

Yeah, it could be that.

But in my feed, it's usually followed with something along the lines of, "I can't stand these kids one minute longer. I want them to be someone else's problem." 

Which, I'm sure is hyperbole, and I've had similar thoughts myself (most of this week, even). 

Still not pleasant. 

[ThisIsTheDay]

Depending on the poster, my comment would be a simple, "I'm sorry!"

[SKL]

Well, in our defense, it can be a lot harder for working moms to handle summer logistics than school year logistics.

 

I wouldn't assume it means we hate our kids.

 

I'm anxious for school to start (though also nervous) because the uncertainty of how it's going to be is stressful.  I would like to know what the class schedule is like, what the teacher's personality is like, how communication will be, how my kids are going to transition into the daily grind, etc.  I want to see whether the vision and listening therapy we've done has been sufficient or whether we need to do more.  And whether there is going to be any differentiation for my gifted kid.  Ya know, so I can stop worrying about what "might be" and start worrying about "what is."  :)

[magnificent_baby]

I don't hs anymore, so those comments make me sad. I am trying to enjoy every moment they are home this summer. I really look forward to summer starting and get sad when it ends.

 

I think mine are to a point that they need structure in their day, but I am not counting the days until they are back in school.

[Word Nerd]

It's probably easier to say, "Can't wait for school to start!" than to say "I'm thrown off by my drastic change in routine and I want life to be like it is 10 months out of the year."

 

Ah, but it's so much more fun to assume they all hate their kids and perpetuate the Mommy Wars.

[chiguirre]

I'm looking forward to public school starting too. GW goes year round and we hs around summer camps for Geezle and Trinqueta, but I miss our regular schedule. In the summer, our routine has to change every week to accommodate T's camps, G's summer program and GW's special activities. It's fun for the kids and they get lots of opportunities that aren't as easy to provide during the regular school year, but it's still a stressful time for me. Once the middle of August rolls around, our weekly schedule is fixed until May. I don't have to check the calendar, plan my errands or juggle pick ups and drop offs. It's easier, plus the kids are calmer and go about their routine without needing as much input from me.

[DragonFaerie]

I can't wait for school to start, too. :D  But it's mostly because I don't like hot weather.  I don't like the lack of routine.  I don't like feeling like everything is all over the place.  I want cool weather, a regular schedule, and more predictable days.  But mostly I want the cooler weather. :D

[Catwoman]

Well, in our defense, it can be a lot harder for working moms to handle summer logistics than school year logistics.

 

I wouldn't assume it means we hate our kids.

 

I'm anxious for school to start (though also nervous) because the uncertainty of how it's going to be is stressful.  I would like to know what the class schedule is like, what the teacher's personality is like, how communication will be, how my kids are going to transition into the daily grind, etc.  I want to see whether the vision and listening therapy we've done has been sufficient or whether we need to do more.  And whether there is going to be any differentiation for my gifted kid.  Ya know, so I can stop worrying about what "might be" and start worrying about "what is."  :)

I have to say that the moms I have spoken with are definitely sick and tired of having their kids home with them all summer. They come right out and say what a nuisance the kids are, and how they can't stand "giving up their summers" because their kids are at home.

 

They don't hate their kids, but they certainly hate the idea of having to be bothered with them for more than an hour or two a day.

 

I think it's very sad, and I feel sorry for the children, because most of the time, the moms make those awful comments when the kids are standing right there next to them. :(

[LucyStoner]

Some people just really like the fall and the tradition of going back to school.  My brother is a SAHD and says stuff like this but it's more of a "the kids really like school and miss their friends, it will be so nice when they are back in school".  It in no way shape or form means he hates his daughters or can't wait to be rid of them.  What a condescending notion.  Most of his daughters' friends are in daycare or day camps all day over the summer so he can't arrange play dates very often during the week.  His kids are used to school during the day and enjoy the schedule and routine.  His daughters go to a good school and really, really enjoy it.  He volunteers there constantly and is on the PTA executive board- it's only reasonable that they sorta miss it during a long break. Also, he certainly spends more than a couple of hours a day with them when they are in school.  

 

Homeschoolers get enough sh!t from others that you'd think we'd learn to not dish out ugliness in return.  Sheesh.  

 

Heck, I miss starting school in the fall sometimes myself.  I really like being able to wear wool tights and sweaters and getting new books and a stack of syllabuses.  

[Joanne]

I've observed that happily being with kids so constantly is a skill. It's a skill that often needs to be taught/learned. Many adults do not intuitively have that skill. Add to that the momentum of behavior that lack of structure builds in kids, and I understand why parents are ready for some relief.

[SKL]

Also, he certainly spends more than a couple of hours a day with them when they are in school.  

 

Yeah, this too.

 

[Catwoman]

Homeschoolers get enough sh!t from others that you'd think we'd learn to not dish out ugliness in return. Sheesh.

 

Heck, I miss starting school in the fall sometimes myself. I really like being able to wear wool tights and sweaters and getting new books and a stack of syllabuses.

 

Not for anything, but the moms I mentioned in my post were certainly "dishing out ugliness" about their own children, so I have absolutely no sense of guilt about criticizing them here. (I'm sure they have plenty to say about homeschoolers, too, and as far as I'm concerned, they can say whatever they would like.)

 

The moms I talked about were definitely not talking about their kids missing their school friends, or how they love the fall, or how nice it is to be able to wear tights and sweaters, or anything along those lines. They were sick to death of having to bother with their own kids during the summer months, because it took away from their personal time and freedom. I'm not just surmising those things -- they said them, and they said them without a shred of guilt, and without the slightest concern about how their kids would feel when they heard them say such mean, selfish things.

[LucyStoner]

Not for anything, but the moms I mentioned in my post were certainly "dishing out ugliness" about their own children, so I have absolutely no sense of guilt about criticizing them here. (I'm sure they have plenty to say about homeschoolers, too, and as far as I'm concerned, they can say whatever they would like.)

 

The moms I talked about were definitely not talking about their kids missing their school friends, or how they love the fall, or how nice it is to be able to wear tights and sweaters, or anything along those lines. They were sick to death of having to bother with their own kids during the summer months, because it took away from their personal time and freedom. I'm not just surmising those things -- they said them, and they said them without a shred of guilt, and without the slightest concern about how their kids would feel when they heard them say such mean, selfish things.

 

Yet, that is not the only way to interpret those sorts of comments.  The same people I know who post this on Facebook now invariably seem to post "I'll miss them so much" when they post their kids' back to school pictures.  Are there moms as you describe?  Sure.  I personally don't run into them as often as other people on this board seem to.  I don't think that most people making sure remarks really hate their kids or spending time with them.  Frankly, most of the people I know work during the day though, and summer doesn't mean a lot of extra time with their kids it means extra childcare that they may or may not be able to afford in the form of day camps and aftercare.  I am one of only a smattering of parents I know with kids over the age of 5 who don't work FT.  

 

Have you ever gone on vacation, enjoyed it a lot in many ways but still come home feeling like you need a vacation from the vacation?  I think for some it is somewhat like that.  

 

We homeschooling moms don't necessarily love or enjoy their children's company more than other parents.  

[Renee in NC]

My kids go to school, and I am counting down the weeks.

 

Childcare has been a BEAR this summer, and bored, loosely supervised children are no fun.

 

Children need structure, and without school, mine have none.

[sewingmama]

Lol...I'm one of those annoying people who posts I can't wait for school to start back up posts on FB.....

 

My DH is a school principal and by the end of the holidays I can't wait for him to go back to work and let me and the kids have the house to ourselves LOL. He totally messes up my routine when he is home.

[I.Dup.]

Did you see the picture of the mom jumping for joy in her driveway in her pajamas while her kids stand there in a line with their backpacks on, looking sad? A lot of my friends think that's hilarious, I find it somewhat sad.

[Forget-Me-Not]

I can't wait for school to start, too. :D But it's mostly because I don't like hot weather. I don't like the lack of routine. I don't like feeling like everything is all over the place. I want cool weather, a regular schedule, and more predictable days. But mostly I want the cooler weather. :D

This! Exactly :D.

[Catwoman]

Yet, that is not the only way to interpret those sorts of comments. The same people I know who post this on Facebook now invariably seem to post "I'll miss them so much" when they post their kids' back to school pictures. Are there moms as you describe? Sure. I personally don't run into them as often as other people on this board seem to. I don't think that most people making sure remarks really hate their kids or spending time with them. Frankly, most of the people I know work during the day though, and summer doesn't mean a lot of extra time with their kids it means extra childcare that they may or may not be able to afford in the form of day camps and aftercare. I am one of only a smattering of parents I know with kids over the age of 5 who don't work FT.

 

Have you ever gone on vacation, enjoyed it a lot in many ways but still come home feeling like you need a vacation from the vacation? I think for some it is somewhat like that.

 

We homeschooling moms don't necessarily love or enjoy their children's company more than other parents.

I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this one! :)

 

BTW, I'm sorry if my posts suggested in any way that I believed that the women hated their kids -- I'm sure they love them. It's just that they don't want to spend a lot of time with them. (And these are not working moms. These are SAHMs who are used to having the whole day to themselves every day. Those pesky kids cramp their style.:rolleyes:)

[Lacie]

We have too much to do this summer, so we can't start yet. But I really want to get started already. I can't wait.

[LucyStoner]

I don't begrudge moms their personal time.  I sometimes wonder if people who do are more jealous than disapproving.  Cat, I can totally agree to disagree I just don't like anything that in anyway smells like any thing one might call "mommy wars" and these threads, which come up in various forms reek of it to me.  In fact, I think I am allergic to "mommy wars".   :laugh:

[Sisyphus]

My secret fantasy is "what I'd do if my kids were in school". I have it all planned out.

 

We are going on 11 years home schooling, so it isn't like I haven't figured it out with some success, but I still have that secret fantasy. So, I can't judge. I've been actively imagining all the things I'd do with the kids in school for going on 11 years now!

[Catwoman]

I don't begrudge moms their personal time. I sometimes wonder if people who do are more jealous than disapproving. Cat, I can totally agree to disagree I just don't like anything that in anyway smells like any thing one might call "mommy wars" and these threads, which come up in various forms reek of it to me. In fact, I think I am allergic to "mommy wars". :laugh:

I don't begrudge moms their personal time, either, but when moms have all day, every day during the school year for "personal time," I think it's pretty selfish to be so resentful when they have to take care of their own children for a few months during the summer. These aren't women who spend their days cleaning the house and doing laundry or taking care of yard work, and it's also not like they are rushing off to their jobs every morning, trying to juggle the extra responsibility and expense of things like daily childcare and worrying about what their kids are doing while they are at work.

 

And honestly, I don't feel any jealousy toward the moms who chose to do things differently, and who want more personal time than I do -- but I do feel very sorry for their children. It must be quite sad for them to know that their moms would prefer to play tennis or golf or go shopping or out to lunch with their friends every day, instead of spending time with their own kids. :( Before I had my ds, I was one of those women, so I really do understand the mindset and the attitudes. I'm just glad I don't share those same views any more -- and so are my dh and my ds.

 

I'm not directing this part toward you, but it's more of a general comment. I'm just not sure why, every time there is a disagreement about things like this, it's automatically classified as "mommy wars." Why shouldn't moms be able to disagree, just like everyone else? :confused: I don't buy into the idea that we should all smile and get along nicely and not be critical of each other, for no other reason than that we're all moms and should support each other no matter what. I don't think it harms or negates the concept of motherhood when we debate about topics like this. There is room for all of us, but we are definitely not always going to be supportive of each other. And I don't necessarily view that as being a bad thing. I don't really want to be around a bunch of Stepford Moms, all telling each other how wonderful we are, and how everything everyone does is just fine, and that no one has the right to say anything critical of any of the other moms, because that would cause divisiveness and anger among the ranks.

 

I guess I just think the whole "mommy wars" thing is kind of ridiculous and reeks of extreme political correctness, which doesn't really work for me. :D

 

Sorry I'm ranting about this, but I just had yet another conversation this afternoon with a harried mom who is counting the days until her kids go back to school, so her life can get "back to normal." She said she doesn't know how she will survive for another month without shooting herself in the head. :rolleyes:

 

All that whining is making me cranky.

[Arcadia]

Sorry I'm ranting about this, but I just had yet another conversation this afternoon with a harried mom who is counting the days until her kids go back to school, so her life can get "back to normal." She said she doesn't know how she will survive for another month without shooting herself in the head. :rolleyes:

 

All that whining is making me cranky.

That mum can do what some of my neighbors did every year, full booked their kids into summer camps for the whole summer.

Except for babies and toddlers, all my neighbors kids seems to be in summer camps. No kids around during the day.

[LucyStoner]

Cat- It's the "look at how bad that mother is" crap that makes it reek of mommy wars to me, not political correctness.  Is every single person who says something like this a single dimension parody who selfishly can't deal with her kids?  Not by a mile.  And I've never felt/talked like that about my kids going to school.  Homeschooling is so much better/easier for us for any number of reasons.  I just try to see where those who do feel this way are coming from before passing judgement.  Why is that bad?

 

I have a friend who has her kids in camps 8:30-3:30 most all summer long even though she is home.  She texted me on her way to Costco today to see if I needed anything.  She spends her days doing laundry, handling family matters related to health and texting friends to see if she can help them without warning (how cool is that?!).   Does using back to back camps make her a bad mom?  No.  It makes her a mom who knows what works best for her and her kids. A year ago she pulled her daughter to homeschool and rapidly realized that was not in her or her daughter's best interest. We all just do the best we can.  Frankly moms insisting that they love every single moment of parenting strikes me as more stepfordish than signing up for double dutch and science camps.  

 

I send my son to several weeks of summer camp each summer, some with other kids with autism, some with fellow science geeks.  Acknowledging that this gives me special time for just my younger son  and even some selfish personal time if I get a sitter for a few hours doesn't mean I can't wait to be rid of my older son, does it?  Of course not.  

[annandatje]

Some  are already looking forward to next year, yes 2014/2015 when the school schedule will go back to starting the beginning of August.

 

Should I comment how excited I am to be starting our HS year to start next Monday :D

 

Sounds like a reasonable response.  It can be comforting to get back into a routine.  Sometimes I think the summers can make us feel pressured to have fun ... like the holidays.

[SKL]

Wait, you have one kid and they have multiple?  That might make a difference.  Siblings fight a lot when their parents are watching. 

 

Starting about a week ago, I began noticing that my kids are going a little crazy - despite being busy in summer camps etc.  They don't have any ongoing structure (different camps each week) and everything is loosey-goosey.  Last night they had a toothpaste war.  This morning one of them participated in an altercation with oil paints.  Neither of them wants to listen to adults, and they get each other going until it seems like an insane asylum around here sometimes.  I love them dearly, but if I had this going on all day long, I'd scream like an inmate myself.  School is one month away, so there's no point trying to come up with a sane home structure now; by the time you'd figure it out, it would be time to dissolve it.

 

Mine are not normally difficult kids.  It's something about midsummer.  I remember being a kid and we were the same way.  Practically undisciplined.  Those days, we left the house after breakfast and came home late for dinner.  :)  Dirty and sweaty and all sugared up.  :)  But at least our moms didn't have to look at us all day.  ;)

 

I don't know if homeschoolers manage to escape the midsummer crazies, because the kids are used to being home all day.

[LucyStoner]

Wait, you have one kid and they have multiple?  That might make a difference.  Siblings fight a lot when their parents are watching. 

 

Starting about a week ago, I began noticing that my kids are going a little crazy - despite being busy in summer camps etc.  They don't have any ongoing structure (different camps each week) and everything is loosey-goosey.  Last night they had a toothpaste war.  This morning one of them participated in an altercation with oil paints.  Neither of them wants to listen to adults, and they get each other going until it seems like an insane asylum around here sometimes.  I love them dearly, but if I had this going on all day long, I'd scream like an inmate myself.  School is one month away, so there's no point trying to come up with a sane home structure now; by the time you'd figure it out, it would be time to dissolve it.

 

Mine are not normally difficult kids.  It's something about midsummer.  I remember being a kid and we were the same way.  Practically undisciplined.  Those days, we left the house after breakfast and came home late for dinner.  :)  Dirty and sweaty and all sugared up.  :)  But at least our moms didn't have to look at us all day.  ;)

 

I don't know if homeschoolers manage to escape the midsummer crazies, because the kids are used to being home all day.

 

Mid summer crazies?  My sons will find anything and nothing to squabble about at any given moment.  Year round.   How many bad mommy points do I earn for sometimes wishing they were each only children?  (and yes, I know that is an impossible, farcical wish and I wouldn't give up either one for all the tea in China)  But honestly, there is only so many fights one can hear about if someone did or did not throw the bowling ball the right way before you wonder why, why me?!   :)

[G5052]

I enjoying being with mine 95% of the time, but IMHO they do better with the structure of the school year.  I had a lot of projects going on this summer, and mostly mine finished up bits-and-pieces, lazed around, and got cranky with each other and me.  I guess that they might as well enjoy it while they can.  

 

I've upped our start-up date to mid-August, we'll be full bore by the end of the month.  My jobs get going then too, so no slacking for me either.

 

 

 

 

[ThisIsTheDay]

Cat- It's the "look at how bad that mother is" crap that makes it reek of mommy wars to me, not political correctness. 

 

I haven't heard anyone say these are bad moms.  We're expressing disappointment and sadness in the mindset.  It's not the moms who are just having a bad day; it's the ones who really, honestly can't or won't deal with their own kids and really can't wait to have them out of the way.  It's an attitude that some have had since their kids were in preschool.  And I, along with others here, feel sorry for those kids. 

 

It's not mommy wars.  If someone doesn't want their kids around, I feel sad for both the mom and the kid(s).  They are all missing out. That's not how their lives should be.

[lmrich]

I love that commercial with the music blaring "it's the most wonderful time of the year" as the parents are buying new school supplies. But that us because I love new school supplies. A new box of 64 colors is perfection! I love the smell of sharp pencils.

[PeacefulChaos]

Honestly, I wish on a daily basis that I had that to look forward to.

I'm one of those who always thought it was so fun - going shopping for school supplies every year, getting started with a new teacher, a new class, etc. if we had a good school system (even our private schools are just so-so, but we can't afford them anyway) I'd think hard about sending them again.

Do I miss the time I had for myself? For my house to actually not look like this? Absolutely!

Did I feel like, though, I didn't see them much, they spent too much time on homework, and I wished they had more time to just be kids? Yep, that too.

I do know people who are thrilled to send their kids back to school every fall because they are about to pull their hair out. A lot of it has to do with personality, I think, of both the mom and the kids. There are definitely kids that would drive ME crazy if I had to be around them all day, every day in the summer when I wasn't used to it. Heck, my own kids drive me crazy sometimes, too. I'm not above that just because I homeschool.

Granted, I'm also one of those who loves that my kids are getting older - not once have I ever (nor will I ever) be sad or find it bittersweet that 'they aren't little any more' or 'they aren't babies any more'. That's just the type of mom I am. I don't like babies lol...so why would I miss having one around? :D

 

Like a pp said, we don't necessarily like our children any more than they do just because we are homeschoolers.... :p

 

 

Eta: anything that says, 'I chose this for my family and it is better than what you chose and I look down on you for it' is mommy wars. I don't think this thread is mommy wars, though the condescending nature of a few posts about how 'sad they are for the children' are pushing it. I get what they are saying, but when people say stuff like that it annoys me. No parent is perfect, and statements like that give off a sense of holier-than-thou and a general ick factor to me. I literally roll my eyes every time I see it.

[Desert Strawberry]

I am sad, like others, that we, as a society do not value time as a family unit, and that children do not have a place in modern society outside of a child-centered facility. I wish our society accepted a family based model and that all members -regardless of age -could be included, instead of the old and young being segregated to only spending time with same age peers.

Moreso, I find it bad form to complain about spending time with one's children. I am certainly not above commiserating over the trials of parenting, these comments, to me, smack of wishing the children away and abdicating personal responsibility. It sounds ungrateful to me. Very much like wishing our babies would grow up faster or longing for the time they move out of the house. Not that we don't all occasionally fantasize about these things, but saying them out loud, in public, and often in front of the child, gives the impression, however accurate or misleading, that time spent with the children is unwanted.

if you don't want to be judged for your parenting, don't paint yourself as a poor parent.

[advocateteacher]

I've observed that happily being with kids so constantly is a skill. It's a skill that often needs to be taught/learned. Many adults do not intuitively have that skill. Add to that the momentum of behavior that lack of structure builds in kids, and I understand why parents are ready for some relief.

 

Yes.  This.

[chiguirre]

I haven't heard anyone say these are bad moms.  We're expressing disappointment and sadness in the mindset.  It's not the moms who are just having a bad day; it's the ones who really, honestly can't or won't deal with their own kids and really can't wait to have them out of the way.  It's an attitude that some have had since their kids were in preschool.  And I, along with others here, feel sorry for those kids. I

I've been thinking about this a bit. I'm pretty sure June Cleaver sent Wally and the Beav out to play all day everyday, so that she could vacuum in peace. How many of us actually spent oodles of quality time with our moms during summer vacation? I remember being signed up for swimming lessons and vbs because those were the only things going. If my mom could have signed me up for all the cool camps that are available today, she would have and she would have considered herself an excellent mother for giving me all those opportunities. She would also have been very pleased to have her peaceful house back.

[Desert Strawberry]

School is one month away, so there's no point trying to come up with a sane home structure now; by the time you'd figure it out, it would be time to dissolve it.

.

This seems to be a common assertion. It doesn't fly for me. It isn't worth disciplining your kids for a month? I don't think I could tolerate more than a few days of foolishness. In fact, we are in a heavy discipline phase right now. My kids were wild for the better part of a week and I feel that was WAY too long.

I don't understand this mindset. How is it better to allow kids to misbehave than to require good behavior. Even if they go to school, they still have to live with you. Am I reading this wrong or is this basically saying, "Yeah, I could teach my kids to behave, but I'll just put up with their shenanigans until it's someone else's problem?

I'm not trying to judge. I am honestly baffled by this type of comment.

[SKL]

I dunno, I think some people are reading way too much into a one-liner and some of it sounds a bit self-serving IMO.

 

People do joke in front of their kids.  I do.  I call my kids "brats" and say all kinds of things.  But they know it's all in fun and I'd never seriously put them down in front of someone else.  At worst I would make an observation that they were children being children.  Because my kids are very familiar with my sense of humor, they know how to take what I say, perhaps better than adult listeners.  My mom also used to say some interesting things to and around us, but I never felt hated or unwanted - at least, not until puberty hormones kicked in, and then "it's time to wash the dishes" could set me off ;).

 

I've known a lot of parents and I can't think of anyone who doesn't love and even like their kids.  We all have moments when our kids are a bit much, but those are temporary moments.  I know some people who have serious problems in the parenting area, but I still don't get the feeling they hate being around their kids.  Yet it's pretty common, to the point of being cliche, that people quip about getting away from the never-endingness of parenting.  I think that unless you personally have other evidence that these people abhor their children, we should give them the benefit of the doubt.

 

I would also note that parenting is 24/7 whether you homeschool or not.  The idea that kids are off our minds as soon as they cross the school threshold is pretty funny.  ;)

[suzybluecheese]

I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this one! :)

 

BTW, I'm sorry if my posts suggested in any way that I believed that the women hated their kids -- I'm sure they love them. It's just that they don't want to spend a lot of time with them. (And these are not working moms. These are SAHMs who are used to having the whole day to themselves every day. Those pesky kids cramp their style. :rolleyes:)

 

Really?  You know this?  My mother had eight children.  She sacrificed just about everything for them.  At 85 she would still sacrifice everything for them.  She was overjoyed when school started back up in the fall.  And you know what?  I still knew she loved me with everything she had.  If keeping a clean house, cooking good balanced meal for us, washing laundry, and grocery shopping was her "style,"  then, yes, we cramped it.

[SKL]

This seems to be a common assertion. It doesn't fly for me. It isn't worth disciplining your kids for a month? I don't think I could tolerate more than a few days of foolishness. In fact, we are in a heavy discipline phase right now. My kids were wild for the better part of a week and I feel that was WAY too long.

I don't understand this mindset. How is it better to allow kids to misbehave than to require good behavior. Even if they go to school, they still have to live with you. Am I reading this wrong or is this basically saying, "Yeah, I could teach my kids to behave, but I'll just put up with their shenanigans until it's someone else's problem?

I'm not trying to judge. I am honestly baffled by this type of comment.

 

Yeah.  First of all your tone is not appreciated.  Of course I discipline my kids.

 

My point is that for young kids at least, behavior is to some extent dependent on the overall structure of life.  Having a set schedule, for example.  Having the same activities and chores most days.  Being able to predict what is going to happen next with a high degree of accuracy.  Having an established working rapport with caregivers.  Knowing exactly what is expected of the child.  The relative lack of these things contributes to a general lack of consistency in behavior.

 

I mentioned that my kids are in a number of different camps over the summer.  These have been great experiences for them, but they have NOT been grounding experiences.  Schedules, caregivers, expectations, etc. change from week to week, and from day to day.  We have also traveled and slept in many different beds over the summer.  All things considered, I think my kids are doing really well with it.  I'm just acknowledging that the lack of consistent structure does affect them.

 

[ETA to actually answer your question, when I talked about no point changing things up in the last month before school, I meant overhauling the structure of how things go at home, e.g., everyone has to get up at x time, eat at x time, do x chores at x time, always use inside voices, sleep at x time, etc.]

 

It is obvious from your previous post that you think your kids' situation is superior to my kids', and while you're entitled to that view, it would be best IMO to avoid letting it color the way you read and respond to other parents' words.

[Mom0012]

It's probably easier to say, "Can't wait for school to start!" than to say "I'm thrown off by my drastic change in routine and I want life to be like it is 10 months out of the year."

:iagree: I've gotten to where I hate summers because of the change in my routine and lack of structure.  I need structure!  And my kids are at the point where they are far more selective about what they find "fun".  No more full days at the pool reading a good book for me.  If we go, they want to go for 2 hours, and only with a friend.  And friends are becoming harder to come by as they are getting older and more and more of our long time homeschool friends are sending their kids to PS or just moving away or whatever.  I can't wait for school to start either.

[Word Nerd]

Being accused of "extreme political correctness" is a first for me! :laugh:

 

My comment above was not directed at the OP per se, but I see the same us-versus-them sentiments every year at about this time. The tone tends to be "thank goodness WE actually like our kids, unlike THOSE moms who can't wait for them to go back to school." Those are the Mommy Wars I'm talking about. I don't think it's a battle in the Mommy Wars to hear a person say she'll shoot herself if she has to spend one more minute with her kids and find that off-putting or sad. I do think it's encouraging the Mommy Wars to take that anecdotal experience and generalize as if it's universally applicable to every mother who says, "I can't wait for school to start."

[Dmmetler]

I have to be honest, I'm now looking forward to the regular school schedule starting. Most of the summer stuff ends this week (because school here starts Aug 5), but most of DD's stuff where she sees other kids won't resume for fall until late August or after Labor day. We've got a trip planned with family the first week, but it will be September before she really has the regular schedule with other kids and before we can really start getting the unstructured social times with other kids together, and that means that for the next month, she'll be very, very demanding (which is why we spend part of that time with family-she can be demanding to grandma for part of it!).

 

 

[SKL]

"I feel sad for their children," when applied to any group, is unkind IMO.  Especially considering that some of "them" are members here.

[briansmama]

I have to go with the thought that most parents love their children and want what's best for them. I've read far more posts on FB from parents who find the family vacation ended way too soon, and who will miss their dc when school starts.

 

As for the other posts (and I do see those from time to time too), I just see it as a benefit of homeschooling that we've learned how to have a rhythm together with our children. We have to in order to get chores done, run errands, etc throughout the year.

[jennynd]

no.. we still have more than a month of summer. The boy will leave for 2 weeks overnight camp this Sunday and he is so excited. We just get done with the sports for this season.

[lea_lpz]

My immediate thought is if they were my kids I would want them back in school, too. I think for parents with ps kids there are 2 things that make it challenging-

1) they feel they have to entertain them and have something for them to do all the time which of course disrupts their regular routine

2) Some parents -not all- but increasingly more due to popular parenting philosophy today and popular culture, parents aren't parenting, and so it's unpleasant to be around your kids all day. They can put up with their kids on weekends and during the hours that they are not in school, which with afterschool activities or childcare might only be about an hour in the morning and 3 hours in the evening.

 

When your children are always with you, your parenting becomes more deliberate. If they don't listen to me I can't teach them (and would want them to be someone else's problem, too).

[LarlaB]

As a former homeschooling mom turned part time worker w/ kids in private school, I agree w/ several comments...

 

-Its a drastic adjustment from high structure, set schedule to absolutely nothing being planned for 3 months- along w/ the expectation that mom is to be the cruise director who must schedule fun/playdates/work projects...Its a major gear shift for a LOT of moms!

-I work 20-30 hrs during the school year and take off work during summer...making it that much more of a change (loss of income, completely switching gears, mom is actually under-stimulated).  

-Loving your kiddos and knowing how to co-exist 'happily' with them 24/7 are different things.  Its absolutely a learned behavior.  And yep, I get sick of the bickering, boredom and behavior issues during summer...just like I did when homeschooling.  I'm just more open/honest about it now- LOL