Should a formerly homeschooled child be allowed

[sueh16]

to participate in a homeschool graduation? This scenario has come up in my local homeschool group. A few of us are charged with making the decision and we have to reach a consensus. Three of us are of one opinion, which we all think is quite obvious. One of us, who has the opposite opinion, thinks her point of view is the obvious choice. The fifth person hasn't given her opinion yet. I'm interested in hearing your thoughts.

 

Thanks,

Sue

[J-rap]

I think that if that child is no longer homeschooled, it would seem kind of strange for him/her to be part of a homeschool graduation.

[Ellie]

I think that if that child is no longer homeschooled, it would seem kind of strange for him/her to be part of a homeschool graduation.

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

I have known of homeschool groups that require participants in the graduation ceremonies to have been homeschooled for two years prior to the graduation (including the year of the graduation).

[Miss Marple]

We've had that same scenario. The student essentially participated in 2 graduations. Weird, IMO. But he wanted to be with all his friends - many of us felt it was inappropriate. The only situation where I think it is appropriate is one which we will have next year. This boy was hs'ed from the beginning until 10th grade. At that point, due to family issues, he enrolled at a private Christian school where he attended for 10th, and the first semester of 11th. At that point he qualified for dual enrollment at the local university. He desires to graduate with the group of homeschoolers next spring. I don't have a problem with that.

[bettyandbob]

Is the child graduating from somewhere? Then, he goes to whatever is offered through the program he is graduating from. If he's not graduating from anywhere then he's a dropout and he doesn't graduate.

 

My only thought on a grey area is if the child was homeschooled K-8 and then enrolled in a correspondence/online program for high school. So, he's getting a diploma from somewhere, but not mom. However, his social group is still the homeschooled kids he was with for several years. The decision would then be about how much he participated in activities with the homeschooled kids. If he hasn't really hung with the group, since he started the correspondence program then no, he doesn't graduate with the group. I guess I put the grey area in because the question is Mom trying to get the kid a ceremony just for the sake of him being in a ceremony--don't want that. It really would depend on the kid's involvement in the group. Specific to the kid not the rest of his family being co op etc

[Beth S]

Our local homeschool group sponsors the graduation ceremony, funds it.

You must be a member of this homeschool group to graduate in their ceremony.

(Others just host their own version--it's fun to see the creative options available.)

 

Why wouldn't the non-homeschooled student graduate from the high school he attended?

I'd just welcome him to come to the ceremony as a guest.

[Parrothead]

Ah, no. One attends one's school's commencement exaecises. To participate in a school one does not attend is generally not done.

[nmoira]

It wouldn't bother me. I like to think of homeschoolers as welcoming and willing to bend arbitrary rules.

[catz]

And won't that kid have an opportunity to do another graduation ceremony?

[Giraffe]

I switched high schools the summer before my senior year. No one let me go back and attend my old school's commencement ceremonies, even though most of my friends were there.

 

Same rules apply here. You attend the graduation of the school from whence you are graduating.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I'd allow it only because I get tired of the exclusive vs inclusiveness of many home school groups.

 

 

But I do think it odd they'd participate in both a school and a home school graduation.

[xixstar]

I don't know what it needs to matter much at all. Do you forsee a swarming of public school students wishing to attend a homeschool graduation all of a sudden? I don't. In looking at life as 'is this worth getting worked up over' I would just let it go. While I do not understand why the child wants to graduate this way, I assume the child or their family has some reason to want it and it's not really a big deal.

 

I sometimes feel like groups can get caught up in the 'if we let x, then we'll have to forever and then OMZ will happen' when in reality, none of that is probably going to happen and no need to worry much over it at all.

 

Also, as a parent with a graduating teen if I knew the other student wasn't homeschooled, I'd think to myself 'that's odd' but it wouldn't change anything about my feelings of excitement and pride watching my child walk across the stage or whatever. :)

[mytwomonkeys]

It wouldn't bother me. I like to think of homeschoolers as welcoming and willing to bend arbitrary rules.

 

 

agreed.

[Laurie4b]

Totally agree with xixstar.

 

Who cares? If he and his parents would find that meaningful, I don't see why it's skin off anyone else's teeth (to use an expression of my mother's.)

 

Kids who were homeschooled for long periods of time often identify strongly with the homeschooling community even if they end up for various reasons attending another option in the last year or two.

 

When you can make someone else happy with no harm to yourself, go for it!

[Miss Marple]

I cannot think of any "organized" school that will allow a student who is not one of their students to participate in their commencement ceremonies. They do not consider that an "arbitrary rule". I don't see how the same stance by a homeschool organization should be considered an "arbitrary rule".

 

If in the Op's situation the student is primarily still involved with his homeschool cohorts, I doubt that anyone would have a problem with him/her attending the ceremony. However, in the case I was involved with, the mother was the one that still identified with the homeschool circle. It was more as a favor to her (to recognize her past involvement) that her child was allowed to participate.

[QueenCat]

No...

[Butter]

No. He will be graduating from his high school, no?

[Starr]

Is there a special reason?

[nmoira]

I cannot think of any "organized" school that will allow a student who is not one of their students to participate in their commencement ceremonies. They do not consider that an "arbitrary rule". I don't see how the same stance by a homeschool organization should be considered an "arbitrary rule".

 

The "arbitrary" was somewhat tongue-in-cheek. I just can't imagine the homeschoolers I know IRL getting their panties in a twist over it. And I like that. For me part of the point is that homeschoolers aren't part of a "school" in any traditional sense, so "school" rules for us are arbitrary.

[unsinkable]

to participate in a homeschool graduation? This scenario has come up in my local homeschool group. A few of us are charged with making the decision and we have to reach a consensus. Three of us are of one opinion, which we all think is quite obvious. One of us, who has the opposite opinion, thinks her point of view is the obvious choice. The fifth person hasn't given her opinion yet. I'm interested in hearing your thoughts.

 

Thanks,

Sue

 

Why does the child want to participate? Did he or his family after school or part time homeschool?

[sarah1615]

Is it really a big deal? I can't imagine why it would really matter in the grand scheme of things. If the kid identifies more with the homeschool group then what's the big deal if he's allowed to have a ceremony with them. As for those who say that public school wouldn't allow it, I guess I would say that most homeschoolers prefer not to think of themselves as being run just like public school. Does it hurt anyone to allow the kid to be a part of the ceremony? Would it make a kid happy? I'd let him participate.

[Tita Gidge]

I'd need more background to reach a firm decision.

 

How "formerly" is formerly?

 

What/why the transition from homeschooling and desire to graduate with the homeschool group?

 

Who is initiating the request - child or parent?

 

What feedback are the homeschool graduates giving?

 

I'm more of a "no one is getting hurt, it's no skin off my back" personality, so with reasonable answers to those questions I'd probably be fine with it. Precedent setting wouldn't concern me, as I think the group has a great policy currently in place: the group consensus on a case-by-case basis.

[LucyStoner]

I assume the student wants to participate because he or she has a strong connection to their homeschooling experience. I don't see what is to be gained from excluding him or her. Who cares?

[Miss Marple]

The "arbitrary" was somewhat tongue-in-cheek. I just can't imagine the homeschoolers I know IRL getting their panties in a twist over it. And I like that. For me part of the point is that homeschoolers aren't part of a "school" in any traditional sense, so "school" rules for us are arbitrary.

 

 

I guess it would depend on the "organization". If this was just a group of homeschoolers who decided to do something together, I doubt that anyone would have a problem -- it the student were still a part of the social group. But many homeschool organizations are highly organized and parents pay dues, are required to perform duties, etc. Those organizations will probably not be as welcoming to someone outside their organization participating in their commencement ceremonies.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I think that if the student is graduating from the public school then they should not be a part of the homeschooled kids' graduation. I'd be happy to have them attend as a guest/friend, and if there's a celebration party they could be recognized as another graduating student, but should not be part of a ceremony.

[maryanne]

I live in an area with many homeschoolers and there are different kinds of graduations. Some are large efforts put on by an organization such as a support group. These graduations usually already have requirements in place regarding who may participate. If this is the type of graduation in question then generally one must abide by the rules of the organization unless there is a compelling reason for an exception.

 

However it is also common around here for a small groups of parents to get together and put on a small joint graduation ceremony for their students, especially when the students have all been close friends for several years. Some students may participate with a large group graduation and graduate with a small group of friends as well. If this is the type of graduation you are asking about and the now public schooled student has been friends with the homeschool graduates for several years and if he/she continues to hang out with their homeschooled friends, then it would seem odd to me to exclude this friend simply because they choose a different educational option for the last couple of years of their schooling.

 

I guess around here it's just not that odd to participate in more than one graduation, especially if the large group graduation places limits on the number of invited guests (common for public schools around here). I would expect a small homeschool graduation that included a public schooled student to be much more personal and acknowledge both the homeschool and public school contribution to this person's education.

[unsinkable]

Maybe I'm missing something...but we don't know if he's in public school or graduating elsewhere or what, right?

 

Only that he was formerly homeschooled.

[bettyandbob]

Assuming he is graduating elsewhere and is still close with the group, why not invite him to attend the ceremony as an observer and then announce his presence at the completion of the ceremony before the reception. "As you greet the new graduates, be sure to also say hello to Joseph Smith who, as you know, was with us until 3 years ago. He came today to support his friends and he is also graduating this year from XYZ academy."

[mumto2]

Preface this with not reading other responses.

 

Honestly no. Not homeschooled at time of graduation so they have moved on. No need. They should be made welcome to share their friend's"big day." Invited to the party as a friend but....

 

Have to admit I find this upsetting and I don't plan to have my dc's participate in a graduation ceremony anywhere so not something I value greatly. But I do value honesty......

 

 

Sorry if I am completely off track.

 

[justasque]

It wouldn't bother me. I like to think of homeschoolers as welcoming and willing to bend arbitrary rules.

 

I would be OK with it. I'm pretty flexible about such things. If me or a group I'm part of can include a kid in something we're doing, I'm usually all for it. If a kid can benefit from being there, why not? It's a community-minded way of looking at the world. Presumably the kid has some connection to the folks who are doing the graduation, and/or to the homeschooling community, otherwise they wouldn't be making the request.

 

The exception for me would be if the kid/family were likely to be drama-full in some way that would take away from others at the event, or that would mean a whole lot of extra work for the organizers..

 

(And even then, or maybe especially then, if it was the family and not the kid from whence the drama came, I'd want to include the kid.)

 

I mean, please, "high school graduation" is a man-made construct - we made it, we can re-shape it to meet the needs of individuals in complicated circumstances.

 

(Obviously, the particular circumstances of the kid in question might alter my response, but that's my default position.)

[Harriet Vane]

I just don't see this as a hill worth dying on. A homeschool graduation is simply a bunch of families choosing to use the same venue to commemorate the end of their child's high school career. It is about their individual achievement. Why bother legislating it? Participating in the ceremony is not the same as giving them a transcript. It's not a wedding or a baptism. Also many homeschool families choose to issue their own homeschool diploma even if they have used public school services for part of the time, and consider the homeschool experience to have been a major percentage of their educational journey. The only way I personally would object is if I had reason to believe the child was actually truant (not educating at all) and wanted to graduate anyway. Otherwise, why does it matter?

[briansmama]

It wouldn't bother me. I like to think of homeschoolers as welcoming and willing to bend arbitrary rules.

 

 

This. A lot of homeschooled kids end up going to high school at some point. Why shouldn't they also be able to participate in a prom or graduation celebration with their homeschooled friends if they are still involved in that circle? And who's to say that attending an online high school program is or isn't homeschooling?

 

I like to think that the educational lines are very blurred nowadays. Homeschooling is no longer an all-or-nothing. Kids participate in part-time school options, online options, community college options, co-op options, the list is endless.

[TravelingChris]

My dd can actually participate in two graduations, not that she will. That is because here co-op here is not a school (church school) but does do a graduation ceremony for the kids who feel more attached to the co-op than their church school. In Alabama, you have to be enrolled in a church school to homeschool and the church school she is enrolled in also has a graduation. (The church school does provide the transcript, here in AL,). I am thinking she will probably want to graduate with her co-op since those are the kids she socializes with more.

[MrsBasil]

My kids are too young to weigh in, but I will anyway.

 

I would need a little more information. Is this a kid whose main group of friends are all going to be graduating at this ceremony, was he homeschooled until very recently, does he or his parents want to recognize all that they've done for his education that wasn't done in his new school setting? Or is this a family/student who brings a lot of drama, is this a kid who hasn't been homeschooled since, say, 6th grade? Has the kid been pretty involved in the group until recently or never really involved? Somewhere in between?

 

The answers to some of these questions might change how I feel, but really, I can't see it hurting anyone.

[Zebra]

No, you participate in the graduation ceremony where you are graduating. It seems pretty simple to me. I don't even understand why someone would ask to be involved in another ceremony.

[Murphy101]

No, you participate in the graduation ceremony where you are graduating. It seems pretty simple to me. I don't even understand why someone would ask to be involved in another ceremony.

 

 

Me either. *sigh*

[mrs.m]

A friend of mine back in my highschool days participated in two ceremonies because she moved from another state before her senior year. She went back to her hometown for graduation and also did graduation with my class. I'm certain her heart was with her former class but her diploma came from the school she graduated.

 

 

I guess I don't see what the big deal is. Will it somehow take away from the ceremony if he has his name announced? Maybe further thinking through the circumstances and consequences will help answer the question?

[BigMamaBird]

If they are no longer homeschooled they should not participate in graduation. If you PS'ed a kid up till the last few years then homeschooled them, they would not be allowed to walk in a PS graduation.

 

Seems pretty cut and dry to me.

[Mrs Mungo]

To me, it depends. I have been a part of several different types of homeschool groups/co-ops over the years. Some kids who attend small private schools or attend an "online public school" might feel more comfy with their longtime homeschool group.

[higginszoo]

I have a child who will be homeschooled longer than public schooled. And when she graduates, at least one of her siblings will still be homeschooled (a brother, a year and a half younger ... he and the brother a year older will likely do a homeschool group graduation). If dd sticks with her current plan and finishes her secondary education at public school, I would never consider having her graduate with her homeschooled friends. GO to their graduation, sure. She can be with them that way. But her graduation will be at the school she chose to attend.

[LucyStoner]

If they are no longer homeschooled they should not participate in graduation. If you PS'ed a kid up till the last few years then homeschooled them, they would not be allowed to walk in a PS graduation.

 

Seems pretty cut and dry to me.

 

One reason I homeschool is to avoid the cut and dry rules of the public school system.

 

What is gained in saying no? What is protected? Who benefits? Nothing, nothing and no one.

[regentrude]

A bit strange - why does he want to do this?

but also: why does it matter and why needs there be a debate?

Who loses anything if this student is allowed to participate if he wants to?

I simply don't understand what is at issue here and why it needs to be such a big deal.

[Mrs Mungo]

 

 

One reason I homeschool is to avoid the cut and dry rules of the public school system.

 

What is gained in saying no? What is protected? Who benefits? Nothing, nothing and no one.

 

In some cases? The people benefiting are those who have put in the effort and volunteered and paid all along the way. People who have not paid, volunteered and/or put in an effort do not get to benefit. If the family in question has not belonged to the group hosting the graduation, then they should not necessarily benefit. These are volunteer-run organizations, not paid positions.

 

Again, I said that for me it would mainly depend upon what type of organization was hosting.

[Crimson Wife]

For me, the answer would depend on whether his/her current school is a brick & mortar one vs. an independent study program/virtual charter. If the student is being educated at home through an ISP or virtual charter, then I don't see a problem with allowing him/her to participate in the HS graduation ceremony.

[Unicorn.]

I need more info. I can see several scenarios where I would say yes, let him graduate w/ the homeschool group. One of my good friends in high school had to move after sophomore year, but she came back the last week of school senior year, just so she could graduate w/ us, because she had been a part of the school system here for 10 years. We were her "family" and she wanted to graduate w/ us. Both schools agreed to it. So yes, I could see letting him graduate w/ the homeschoolers.

[Mrs Mungo]

I need more info. I can see several scenarios where I would say yes, let him graduate w/ the homeschool group.

 

Agreed.

[LucyStoner]

In some cases? The people benefiting are those who have put in the effort and volunteered and paid all along the way. People who have not paid, volunteered and/or put in an effort do not get to benefit. If the family in question has not belonged to the group hosting the graduation, then they should not necessarily benefit. These are volunteer-run organizations, not paid positions.

 

Again, I said that for me it would mainly depend upon what type of organization was hosting.

 

My who gives a lick answer assumes that this student has some relatively recent connection to the sponsoring organization and isn't a stranger to the group. Why else would they be asking to participate? If my assumption is off, my answer is moot I guess! :)

[regentrude]

In some cases? The people benefiting are those who have put in the effort and volunteered and paid all along the way. People who have not paid, volunteered and/or put in an effort do not get to benefit. If the family in question has not belonged to the group hosting the graduation, then they should not necessarily benefit. These are volunteer-run organizations, not paid positions.

 

But if the family had not connection to the group, then the student would certainly not ask to graduate with the group, would he? I mean, random strangers form public school don't just show up and ask to graduate with a bunch of strange homeschoolers.

 

I was assuming that he was, or still is, in some way involved with this group.

[Cinder]

I'm also curious as to the specifics of the situation.

[Tammi K]

My first reaction would be your 'graduate' from the place that is issuing your diploma. Otherwise, you're not graduating your celebrating. And, maybe that's fine...or maybe not. That's what you need to decide.