Remudamom Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Hysterical because we don't have neighbors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Well why were you out chopping wood in your boots. "Well the little misses said she was cold. I just got out of the shower and she asked me if I could do something to warm up her up. She had that look in her eye, you know the one, don't disobey me or you'll be sleeping with dog tonight. So I'm chopping wood to make a fire, that sure warm her right up." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Well as it's a "full-sized axe", trousers would not be any real protection anyway, so protection-wise he might as well swing free. Lucky you've got an upstairs for the full monty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Well why were you out chopping wood in your boots. "Well the little misses said she was cold. I just got out of the shower and she asked me if I could do something to warm up her up. She had that look in her eye, you know the one, don't disobey me or you'll be sleeping with dog tonight. So I'm chopping wood to make a fire, that sure warm her right up." Sounds like your other job might be writing storylines for ...particular film catorgories. That or an active imagination; could really enliven writing assignments. "Today kids, we are going to try another genre." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniBlondes Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 This entire thread has my literally laughing out loud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 All this talk of wood and tools. You ladies are sick. Now, where did I put that husband?? :gnorsi: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Oh MY! I needed this laugh today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skywards Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 2 years ago... driving slowly through our little village I saw a new statue in a front yard. It was a very bronzed statue, full sized, well muscled, remarkably accurate sculpture of an older man. or so I thought... until it moved.... the I realised it was a man in starkers doing is gardening. His yard has no front fence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Is this a p*rn version of the Red Green show, sounds like something that might happen there. "Well I was fixin' to go out and cut me some wood, so I put on my boots, that's all, just my boots. Oh and my safety goggles, because you know, you could put out an eye with that axe." :laugh: Well, anything that was put out or, um, just hanging loose could be fixed right up with a roll of duct tape. :laugh: I miss Red Green. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggie96 Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I am reading this sitting next to DH. I am hysterically laughing so DH asks why. I read OP to him. He sincerely responds that he has no idea why that is strange or funny. 😳 I will be sure to make him wear pants for such activities! 😜 Our previous neighbors had no problem strutting completely naked to their hot tub at the back of their fence. They knew we were on our back patio at the same time, and it was easy to see through the fence. We just tried to avert our eyes at all times! We referred to them as "naked neighbors" until they moved. 😠Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliums Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 This entire thread has made me laugh so hard that the cat has given me the evil eye and departed from my lap. This also made me LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I'm gonna have a chat w/Wolf. He's worked in forestry, done logging, talks fondly of chopping wood. Now I'm wondering if he's left out some details... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Whoa. My backyard neighbor is chopping wood, wielding a full-sized axe -- wearing safety goggles, work boots and nothing else. I'm keeping my phone with me in case I hear a scream and need to call 911. Need a taller privacy fence. So.. he does not want to injure his eyes or his feet but anything in between is vulnerable??? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I'm gonna have a chat w/Wolf. He's worked in forestry, done logging, talks fondly of chopping wood. Now I'm wondering if he's left out some details... I just asked dh if he'd chop wood naked. His reply: "that's not the wood I'd care to chop, thanks." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justme824 Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 All I keep thinking about is 'ugly naked guy' from Friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 All I keep thinking about is 'ugly naked guy' from Friends. We used to live next door to 'ugly naked guy'. He rented between my sister and I. We kept the blinds down on that side of the house, unlike him, and kept our eyes on the footpath walking between houses. Only made the mistake of looking up towards his open doorway as he coughed loudly once. Once too often though. As she said, "Some things you can't unsee". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 What's that line from Seinfeld, "There is good naked and bad naked. This is bad naked!" This really makes me appreciate my neighbor so much. At least when he got drunk, dragged his bed mattress up on the garage roof, fell asleep there, and fell off on the pavement in his driveway, he.was.not.naked. I think it would have been so much tougher for me to make the 911 call with a level voice. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Oh my.....wow. Naked wood chopping? Now that's something you don't see everyday! LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 We use to live in a condo. The mentally challenged neighbor next door would often open his door wide to say hello to everyone who walked down the hall. One day he forgot to put on clothes first. In my mind he just dressed for the day. I don't now how he knew it was my birthday - but he put on his birthday suit to help me celebrate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 All I keep thinking about is 'ugly naked guy' from Friends. Not ugly naked guy. Nondescript, lanky, naked guy. With an axe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Thanks for the giggles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 This is definitely the best thread of the week! :thumbup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kidlets4me Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 PEMCO should make a new commercial. Naked wood chopping guy, you're one of us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Crown Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Nondescript, lanky, naked guy. With an axe. ... directed by John Carpenter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 :thumbup: to this thread. And I guess, to naked wood chopper guy for being the inspiration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 PEMCO should make a new commercial. Naked wood chopping guy, you're one of us! Let's just hope that's a radio commercial... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I'm laughing so hard I had to wipe my eyes so I could see to type. DH wants to know if they were at least steel toed work boots?? Cause you know, can't be too careful... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 I'm laughing so hard I had to wipe my eyes so I could see to type. DH wants to know if they were at least steel toed work boots?? Cause you know, can't be too careful... I didn't ask. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I didn't ask. :p Ah, man... I'm sure that wouldn't have been my first question either, had I actually been able to form words, LOL!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 When I was in my early 20s I was walking down the street past a really tall fence. On the other side of the fence was a guy watering his garden totally naked. How do I know...he left the double gate open. Should have seen his face as I walked past the opening. He dropped the hose and bolted for the gate. But it was too late...as you said...there are some things you just can't unsee LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 What's that line from Seinfeld, "There is good naked and bad naked. This is bad naked!" This is exactly what I was thinking of. And yes, chopping wood naked is definitely...bad naked. :scared: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 No... no. No? He's *naked* chopping wood? Reported. Same idiot troll. Yet again. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violamama Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Not sure why this made me think of this... seems like nude chopping wouldn't have been particularly encouraged in that era either. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPKe9OfWs-M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaleidoscope Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I really needed that laugh! So glad you shared! It reminded me of photographer friend of mine who was hired by some guy to come do photos of him at his cabin. He was a suit IRL but told her he escaped frequently to his cabin and wanted pictures from his life there. And yes, he wanted the pictures in very little clothing. He had all these scenarios he wanted photographed: fishing, chopping wood, gathering berries, relaxing in the hammock... and he would be in the nude with the exception of appropriate gear. It was, ummm, interesting. Yep, she took the job because it paid well. She also took several people with her because it was creepy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Bwahahahahaha! A few years ago, I worked for big oil (that's right!) as a land agent, buying right of way parcels for an oil pipeline. I had some of the wackiest land owners ever. One of them was affectionately known as "naked guy." We set up a meeting and he told me to give him a call about 15 minutes before I arrived, so he could put some clothes on. Nice. When I got there, he was wearing a pair of shorts that he's probably had since he was in gym class in the early 70's, socks and work boots. I had 3 more meetings with him and his wife and they were barely dressed each time. I also had the neighbors on either side of him, and one asked if I'd met with him. I responded that I had, and they went on to tell me that I needed to make sure he knew I was coming, otherwise he'd be completely naked. He apparently mowed his lawn wearing only his work boots and he and his wife like to go out in their paddle boats on the lake they own completely nude. All I could think was what kind of sunburn they could get. BTW, they also had teenage children. Once I was in the kitchen, so they could sign some papers, and the kids were at the counter doing their homework (fully clothed), but the mom was topless and the dad was in a thong. It's a darn good think I made a lot of money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Bwahahahahaha! A few years ago, I worked for big oil (that's right!) as a land agent, buying right of way parcels for an oil pipeline. I had some of the wackiest land owners ever. One of them was affectionately known as "naked guy." We set up a meeting and he told me to give him a call about 15 minutes before I arrived, so he could put some clothes on. Nice. When I got there, he was wearing a pair of shorts that he's probably had since he was in gym class in the early 70's, socks and work boots. I had 3 more meetings with him and his wife and they were barely dressed each time. I also had the neighbors on either side of him, and one asked if I'd met with him. I responded that I had, and they went on to tell me that I needed to make sure he knew I was coming, otherwise he'd be completely naked. He apparently mowed his lawn wearing only his work boots and he and his wife like to go out in their paddle boats on the lake they own completely nude. All I could think was what kind of sunburn they could get. BTW, they also had teenage children. Once I was in the kitchen, so they could sign some papers, and the kids were at the counter doing their homework (fully clothed), but the mom was topless and the dad was in a thong. It's a darn good think I made a lot of money. According to my sons, they'd go blind if dh and I went around the house naked! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Maybe he was up all night smoking something???? If not, that is just really weird. Maybe he's hoping someone will video him and put it on You Tube. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Oh, my. I thought this was an ax accident thread and was afraid to read it due to the warning. :lol: I'm just glad it wasn't my crazy neighbor... I'd have to get new eyes if I saw him chipping wood that way; and that crazy man would need an ambulance for sure. He pretty much catches his trees on fire with his annual shirtless fireworks display. We keep the hose ready btw :scared: .OP, Maybe that would have cooled off the hot woodsman too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Bwahahahahaha! A few years ago, I worked for big oil (that's right!) as a land agent, buying right of way parcels for an oil pipeline. I had some of the wackiest land owners ever. One of them was affectionately known as "naked guy." We set up a meeting and he told me to give him a call about 15 minutes before I arrived, so he could put some clothes on. Nice. When I got there, he was wearing a pair of shorts that he's probably had since he was in gym class in the early 70's, socks and work boots. I had 3 more meetings with him and his wife and they were barely dressed each time. I also had the neighbors on either side of him, and one asked if I'd met with him. I responded that I had, and they went on to tell me that I needed to make sure he knew I was coming, otherwise he'd be completely naked. He apparently mowed his lawn wearing only his work boots and he and his wife like to go out in their paddle boats on the lake they own completely nude. All I could think was what kind of sunburn they could get. BTW, they also had teenage children. Once I was in the kitchen, so they could sign some papers, and the kids were at the counter doing their homework (fully clothed), but the mom was topless and the dad was in a thong. It's a darn good think I made a lot of money. Those poor kids...I bet they don't have many friends over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Thank God he was wearing protection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I find the idea of Nude Wood Chopping ridiculously funny. I can think of absolutely no circumstances where I would be getting ready to chop wood and think "You know what would make this task better? Being naked." Seriously! If he had been completely nude, it would have been one thing, but nude plus the safety gear -- just does not add up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Thank God he was wearing protection. He was wearing "protection"???? I must have missed that part...well, a man must be ready for anything I guess if he's going to go around naked! :biggrinjester: Mariannova, are you out there? Just think how much worse your neighbor cutting down the privacy hedge situation could have been! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 Seriously! If he had been completely nude, it would have been one thing, but nude plus the safety gear -- just does not add up! Because I can't sleep, I did a little reading this morning about axe injuries. I've written a little guide for those considering naked wood chopping. If one is going to chop wood naked, an axe is the way to go. Chain saws are no friend to the naked woodman. Only those well practiced with their axe should consider naked wood chopping; less experienced woodmen all too frequently employ a technique that causes the shaft to split or the axe head to fly off unexpectedly. Steel-toed boots and eye protection are a must (and will prevent the majority of unwanted injuries), and gloves are highly recommended for all but those woodmen whose hands are calloused from regular axe use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Because I can't sleep, I did a little reading this morning about axe injuries. I've written a little guide for those considering naked wood chopping. If one is going to chop wood naked, an axe is the way to go. Chain saws are no friend to the naked woodman. Only those well practiced with their axe should consider naked wood chopping; less experienced woodmen all too frequently employ a technique that causes the shaft to split or the axe head to fly off unexpectedly. Steel-toed boots and eye protection are a must (and will prevent the majority of unwanted injuries), and gloves are highly recommended for all but those woodmen whose hands are calloused from regular axe use. You just made me spit coffee acros my computer screen!!!! This is what got me - "woodmen all too frequently employ a technique that causes the shaft to split". OUCH! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 2 years ago... driving slowly through our little village I saw a new statue in a front yard. It was a very bronzed statue, full sized, well muscled, remarkably accurate sculpture of an older man. or so I thought... until it moved.... the I realised it was a man in starkers doing is gardening. His yard has no front fence You made me cry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Home amputation. Or is that technically amputation? nah, I think it would be dismemberment lol :smash: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 nah, I think it would be dismemberment lol :smash: :smilielol5: :smilielol5: :smilielol5: Faith - whose DH is NOT amused by the amount of amusement I am getting from this thread. He says my mind has gone to very bad places! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 How incredibly bizarre.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Wow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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